Is /b/ ready to go on a magical adventure?
You can get as /b/ as you want. We'll begin when I pick out 4 characters to start the journey.
Name: Rohan Thundercock
Primary weapon: My thundercock (it's a cock imbued with thunder)
Power: Speed of thunder / sound (330m/s)
Misc: Thundercock grows in power with each soul it harvests
Alright the rules are you can only control what your character does in the environment. Furthermore you should always put your characters name before action.
Alright the setting is this:
A party in a strange tavern with strange people left you all undeniably intoxicated. For some reason you awaken in a large, concrete box with one another. There's a long, long hallway where audible screams can be heard. What do you do /b/ros?
You find that your body can't pass through the inter dimensional rift. Something is blocking your magic's channel length.
You piss in a corner
Your hangover is cured and your weed abilities give you power and courage.
Your thunder cock bangs against the stone walls at the speed of light creating major ripple effects throughout the hall. Your friends follow you in your silliness.
My marketing goods!
These amazing prices you cant beat, not in solitude for damn sure!
I have nice clothing
I sell furniture
THAT ASSHOLE PC GUY COMES IN AN SELLS ME FUCKING HELMS AND SHIT AND DRAGON FUCKING BONES LIKE DA FUQ MAN?!
>Detect Life (Like from skyrim)
>Spidey Senses regarding Danger
The lightning blast reveals that the hole isn't that deep but still can be a dangerous fall
The lighter illuminates your path
Your hands take 1 damage
>What do the others do?
You proceed to follow the stoner down the vine
You land safely and wait for the others
The room glows a very low red as you find out that there is more stone walls
You shatter both of your legs. Fall damage has revealed your magical disguise revealing that you are actually George Zimmerman. You give out a battle cry to the heroes, "YOU CAN'T FIGHT THE FLIM FLAM ZIM ZAM!" then you proceed to eat your own feces and die.
The screams get louder as you can now hear audible booming noises at the very very end of the room. You proceed to drop in to a gang of cultists about sacrifice a damsel in distress whom is bleeding severely. What do you do guys?
Rohan Thundercock's autism sparks like Jim's lighter, spaghetti jetting out of every orifice and draining Rohan's lifeforce. Rohan slowly dies, as his body deteriorates he lets out one final speech:
"You can't sunder... the thunder..."
(I gotta go too, will return though)
>Large, heavy, thick, not so sharp great-sword made more for crushing than crushing and an over sized solid steel tower shield.
>Able to swing my massive sword with superhuman force, shield is so thick it blocks any attack (except magical). Immense stamina
Thunder can be heard in the distance, making the damsel gushing wet, leaving a large puddle.
"YOU CANT SUNDER THE THUNDER"
Thunder strikes the puddle, zapping all of the cultists and revealing Rohan in the centre of the room with sunglasses on and arms folded.
I'll be there just like 10 more minutes! Here I'll enlighten you.
Your fire ball hits one cultist but the others begin to turn on your party
The thunder could never be sundered
Your Minotaur takes on most of the cultists dealing heavy amounts of damage. However the Cultists see him as the main threat and begin to slowly over power him. He dies of small stab wounds.
You're in guy, what do you wanna do?
Fireballs go in all directions. With each kill that you gain you see in your own vision spastic retards screaming and flashing colors and dubstep.
The Lightning spell volleys off of the cultists and electricute a hand full of them.
They decide to summon heavily armored demon, quickly. What do you do?
The demons armor is melted off but he quickly recovers and charges you being the main threat to him
(Good move) AS the demon charges Rohan the shield protects him from the impact
The demon starts to wail on rohan but slowly starts to cease his blows when the weed hits him
The cultists are coughing and everyone is high. What happens next to the demon?
>I'm back btw
A wall opens up at the side of the room revealing that the heroes are underground. Jaxerian stands at the door and offers to help them escape in the commotion.
>Do you accept?
Ice spell freezes his legs solid but he seems to be confused as to where he is
Help is excepted
(I'm guessing Rohan would shoot a lightning bolt out of his dick or something and accept too)
Gaylord d. Tickledicks pic is character.
Weapon: a phalliic mace
Clothes: Casmetr, all of it and lipstick
Misc I have a trusty pink fleshlight
The party escapes with their lives and blazed out their minds. You are in a dark forest with black brush and the only thing lighting your path is Rohan's cock.
Meanwhile off in the distance you can see a huge purple beacon of light radiating up north. You think it may be a way home so you decide to inspect it.
When you get to the beacon you feel a cold presence from behind you. There are three-
YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YOU'RE IN. EDGARDO IS IN
-there are three stone tablets with some kind of pentagramic figures on them as listed-
>One appears to be a Dragon
>One is a horned figure of some kind
>One looks in the shape of a dick.
You think this may be the way home so what do you decide to do with the tablets?
OH NO ROHAN YOU SUMMONED A COCK MONSTER! PREPARE FOR BATTLE WHAT DO YOU DO?
The cock monster sees this as a threat and charges himself with Rohan's energy and spews cum all over the party. You're Raw Spirit punch does do damage to it. It heaves in pain.
The tablet disolves into thin air.
The fire spell cauterizes the hole only slightly. The idea didn't work out as intended and the tip is now a bubbly grease spewing out cum loads and lightning. The beast roars in pain and releases a flurry of jizz. (It's fucking gross) And attempts to electricute you. What do you do before he can charge up energy?
Prepare all the might thundercock can muster, electricity jolts off at random critters in the process, harvesting their souls and increasing the power (my ability)
"IF WE BOTH DISCHARGE AT THE SAME TIME WE WILL STALEMATE"
(Imagine harry potter vs voldemort when they duel)
The Cock monster replies with a massive beam of energy of his own which matches yours. You are stuck in a stalemate but slowly your powers start to fail you as his energy gets closer to you
I the DM come down from the heavens...
"He has something better than the spirit well..."
Me, Snoop Dogg, willy Nelson, and Bob Marley enchant Rohan's cock with magical 420 energy.
Your eyes fill up with super energy as your cock shoots forth a pure cannon green energy, the cock monster increases his beam to try and match yours but Jax intervenes and summons dark magic to slow the creatures attack down.
Your beam gets even stronger as it starts to overwhelm the creature. It lets out one last unholy roar before being disintegrated to a pile of ash.
>Our heroes look upon the pile of ash
>Slowly it swirls around and creates a portal
Do you take the portal?
Your party wakes up in the light of a structure. Is this a castle? It seems to be some sort of elegant summoning room.
People back away from you. This is the same place you were partying. They drugged you to use you for some kind of a ritual. Better yet, you notice that they are wearing the same robes as the cultists. They huddle around you ready to attack and people start running away screaming. But a harsh voice makes the cultists back.
A old, armor wearing cultist steps forward. "I see you've made it out of my labyrinth. You were supposed to become sacrifices." He scolds.
Naturally you all ready your weapons and he scoffs, "Fools! It is too late! The sacrifice has not been completed! And now he will be coming to-
A massive, black slimy hand violently reaches out and crushes the cult leader. The other guards make an attempt to flee but the arm grows massive black tendrils that coil around them.
Your party decides to get the fuck out of there.
Looking back at the castle only a distance away from it you can see a massive horrid demonic creature emerge from the stone. It roars as it sucks the visible souls out of every cultist in that building.
Heroes will have to take a stand. What do you do?
A bit late to the party, but can they meet me at some point?
>Sir Elmont Ezeir of Parsa
>The Arkblade & The Halberd of Parsa
>Undying light: the power of the divine light shines within you as an eternal sun. You shall cross the oblivion with your will unbroken.
>leather satchel full of trinkets and what not, worn cloak, rustic iron armor, battered shield, pretty sick beard
So like a paladin type character I'm guessing? I like that idea and it fits perfectly into the story line.
Sir Elmont comes down from the heavens and breaks the earth beneath him. You join the party in able to slay the demon God.
Use the last of my thundercock powers to charge each party member with electricity that they can use at any time but only once.
"A parting gift"
Charge at the speed of light into the black demon, only to disappear into it's darkness
(I got to go to college now, sorry guys, it's been fucking great. Best of luck killing this raid boss. this isn't the last you'll see of Rohan Thunderfuck)
P.S. Leaving this on auto update so I can see the results when I get home
I charge with my halberd only to have it be knocked out of my hands and on my ass. The demon attempts to crush me
>Undying light activates
Demon cannot touch me because of the holy radiance
Draw Arkblade, slice the fucker's knee caps
"Thank you." [eat it. god be with me]
Following Elmont's kneecap slice, I jump as high as I can and put all I can into a Spirit-imbued Shoryuken into whatever I can hit. [which is likely to not be anything vital. the dank was jank]
Rohan sacrifices himself to create a massive explosion that nearly destroys the creature. It seems to be in awful pain as Elmont breaks it's kneecaps at the same time. It oozes black blood that grows tendrils.
You hear the demon tempt you, "You are stronger than your allies. Give up, and I'll grant you a swift death."
Magic mushrooms give you super sayain powers and you have super awesome blond hair.
You see Rohan and recognize his courage
Rohan's magical dick flies into the air and you weild it in your left hand like a sword. In your right hand you accept the dank and get a raw spirit boost 9000 times great.
>asking what Jaxdoes.jpg
Do you attack?
>Jake the Cocktheif
>Blackhole orfices (capable of sucking in infinite cocks)
>"Cum on pictures of my sister"
Name: Dildo Faggins
Primary Weapon: Shit encrusted middle finger from finger fucking your moms fart box.
Power: Can persuade anyone and anything to let me finger fuck their asshole.
Misc: Have hairy fucking feet.
It's heart recoils with vicious black tendrils that lash out you and the demon laughs, "GO HEAD, KILL ME, I'LL BE WAITING FOR YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE."
Edgaro's spirit punches bombard the titanic creature. Ever so quickly does he try to lash out at you with his arms or tentacles. His heart is a clear shot
"These hallucinations of carnage drift me to slumber like a lullaby. You know not what true strength is, mortals."
Just as Edgardo is about to release Rohan's mighty cock the creature lashes out at everyone and knocks sends them flying.
"WITNESS TRUE POWER."
His black skin and tendrils start to fuse together to create an armor. A wad of pure black energy creates an unholy aura around him and is ready to explode into a supernova of darkness. What will you do to protect yourself?
Yell at the demon about how my soul is untouchable by darkness, and that it is a pinpoint of justice that will slowly root out all evil in the universe.
Strike a manly pose with my chest puffed up.
Automatic Grenade Launcher
Throw me in as a side character and kill me off when I say don't shoot.
Your allies are behind you as the your Arkblade protects you from the wave of cold dark energy.
Rohan's dick glows like a magical unicorn horn and you can feel super power coarse through your veins. FINNISH HIM.
I charge at the demon scraping the Halberd of Parsa off the ground. I leap into the air and bring the halberd down upon its head. I land on the crown of it's scull, channeling the energy of Undying light into Arkblade as it begins to glow with a blinding light.
".....Go back to the shadows, abomination"
drive Arkblade into the core.
The demon starts to dissolve into pure nothingness. It's face is in defeat as it tells the heroes. "I will lurk in your hearts until the end of time.. For man... Is... Mine..."
A shock wave of energy evaporates in a quarter mile. You are all knocked unconscious.
You awaken in the morning with your D&D party and have a very heavy hangover. You all come to the conclusion... That you should do that again sometime.
This was an awesome time guys, I hope you had fun. I might make a greentext or two in the morning.