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Post No. 588492590
Funniest thing happened to me last week
>Over at my friend's house for a party (Yes, OP is a girl. My tits are my own so fuck off)
>People are drunk as fuck including my friend
>everyone has either crashed, is playing mario cart, or is going home
>no one is really doing anything so I start gather my shit and leave
>Then some fucking hot 10/10 guy showed up
>"hey, did I miss the party? (Insert my friend's name here)."
>"eh? No 10/10, itsh shtill gblublbla." -My friend
>"Don't listen to her, she's drunk off her ass." I told em
>"oh well, I don't know if I should stay too long. I got a curfew"
>"Okay well, if you want you can- insert boring conversation that lasts for a few minutes
>Really it was just like me talking about my favorite kinds of anime while he listened
>"great, well Femanon. I think I should get going. Unless you want to do something..?"
>Together we go upstairs
>our clothes get shreded off
>No time at all I'm naked
>there was something wrong though
>He didn't take off his pants yet
>"eeeh, is everything okay?"
>Fuck please don't be a weirdo
>"lol I'm a little bit nervous."
>omg I thought that was cute
>"Oh, do you want me to help you?"
>"Rip em off of me please." he smiles
>erotically as I could I pulled his pants off
>every part of my being was used to contain my laughter
>"Ready?" he told me
>"Yeah um I don't do girls."
>Oh, no pussy for you
>"deal with it."
>"You want me to give you something to deal with?
>"Asshole, you're not getting anything."
>"Like I give a shit, you're not even hot."
>then I started to put my clothes on
>He fucking towers over me
>"Ey where do you think you're going?"
>"Don't touch me."
>"I'll do whatever the fuck I want bitch."
>"Oh no you won't."
>"Says who? Cunt."
>"Ur fucking kidding me right?"
>"REALLY? A DOUBLE CONUNDRUM?" "FUCK YOU OP YOU FUCKING FAGGOT!"
Mfw first letter of every sentence.