"28 December - A phone call to Albermarle Regional Jail confirms that Chris is currently in jail awaiting video court on 29 December"
Help me source and confirm this please /b/ I can't find any more info than this vague copy pasta quote.
> THE DAY /b/ CRIED
This is huge fucking news why is /b/ not blowing up about this does it cut too deep
I think I know the next Chris Chan
I have an 8 year old cousin with full blown autism who dresses up as Sonic the Hedgehog at least once a week and runs around town
I babysit the fucker all the time because his mother's a drug addict and I bring over smash bros brawl and the fucker always plays as sonic and almost always wins
i caught him drawing pictures of sonic and his room is literally full of sonic pictures stapled to his walls
he got beat up last week at his school for dressing up as sonic and challenging kids to a race.
he goes into full blown temper tantrums whenever people imply mario is better than sonic, and tried stealing the new sonic game from Gamestop
This is why he went to jail. Because Sonic's arms are blue rather than flesh colored.
get him a junker dirt bike and teach him how to be a man
its what my older brother did for me and I never picked up a video game since
>What do you think prison will be like for Chris? How soon until he runs the place?
I reckon that Chris will live in the Womans Prison as he is assigned Trans.
This means that he will become the leader of the trans-gangs that are in the penitentiary, due to his naturally higher levels of myostatin being a born male.
This means that through heavy sass and wit battles, just like that orange show about dykes heshe will rise to the challenge and proudly fly the rainbow flag of the trans-gang now known as the sonichu.
The sonichu will control all the hormone drug markets in the prison, thereby controlling all narcotics that flow through the establishment, meaning Chris will become the purveyor of pleasure and pain within a place that was meant to break him.
Being in control of all the narcotics, he will track the supplies to Japan, wherupon his release he shall use his trans-contacts in the Yakuza to track Sega executives down and once and for all vivify his noble quest to un-rape Sonic.
Justice shall be served.
He will rise once again from the ashes of suffering, doubt and male cis-opression
Summary for TL;DR:
Chris very likely sprayed a fogger-type mace rather than Axe or whatever he might have been using to vandalize any Sanic standees, based on the Tumblrite's assertion that it was mace, and the fact that the reaction was cut off at the end of the video. Mace is not instantaneously debilitating.
The person maced was likely an assistant manajerk or otherwise higher-up at GameStop.
According to a phone call placed to the Gamestop in question (which is confirmed as the C-Ville Fashion Square Mall GameStop), the employee was indeed maced.
Chris is still on probation from the Snyder attack. He is therefore very likely going to get violated on that, regardless of whatever shit he gets in for this assault.
Chris is wearing glasses from a MLP toy set.
The person who was sprayed is okay.
Legally, Chris committed some sort of vandalism, likely a criminal trespass, and very likely a felony-level assault.
Chris has been banned from GameStop at the corporate level.
Tumblr is shitting itself re: misgendering Chris.
All the GameStops in the area knew full well who Chris was before this incident.
We have no information about whether Chris has been arrested or even taken in for questioning at this time.
Chris is competent to stand trial, and there is no reason to believe his conduct, as autistic as it is, would support an insanity defense.
>No one gives a shit about this Chris-chan. Just let it run its own course and do something else, you homo.
Lords Ladies Demi-sexuals and various other genders of /b/.
I come before you beseeching your mercy. Not upon myself, as I have long ago opened my eyes to the darkness that lurks within the internet.
Nay, I ask your mercy to befall upon this anon, whom has stunned us all with their audacity.
Please give them mercy, for they know not what they do
>tips and casts level 12 lurk
>Chris is wearing glasses from a MLP toy set.
Specifically, the Vinyl Scratch (DJ PON-3) glasses that were only available in a boxed set with an Equestria Girls convertible. Never mind how I know that.
>Legally, Chris committed some sort of vandalism, likely a criminal trespass, and very likely a felony-level assault.
Mace or pepper spray constitutes "other dangerous weapon" in most definitions of aggravated assault, making assault with such an item a felony. Potentially. Often they just charge simple assault, though.
>Tumblr is shitting itself re: misgendering Chris.
Is there any way to crank this up? Cause they're going to be sending him to dude jail.
Any time anyone shows this retard the slightest trace of kindness, he goes into full stalker mode, and it would be hilarious to see them try to deal with an obsessed Chris-Chan while he goes bugfuck.
They'll love him when he starts telling them how much he loves "niggos."
>But do they have Battlefrogs?
>Can anyone confirm this?
>who the fuck is he
Who the fuck are you?
I hear they're going to charge him with a chrisdemeanor.
>lolwut I live here who the fuck is he.
Must be bait. Still, being dangerously close to my triggers is one of my triggers.
We must collectively call this patriarchal institution and ensure that chris is not raped in any way by these cis-scum.
The liberty of trans-choice must be preserved.
Pardon my autismo-amnesia, but what was the Snyder attack? what did Kurisimu-kun done?
>Ill always enjoy /b/s wide breadth of weirdos and the knowledge they bring
>alert alert a 9gag/reddit user who can't use grammar.
Quickly pretend we are dumb or more of them will come and say they lurked here before it was cool
He (and his equally crazy mom) both hit Snyder, a GameStop manager Chris was stalking, with their cars. No serious injuries, but vehicular assault is always a serious crime.
He got off (and got the probation he's on) after his lolyer successfully argued he was "an autistic man-child" (lawyer's words) who didn't know what he was doing.
no, not first hand. but my buddy jim who is a hunter used that shit and said it saved his life.
you can look at videos of bears being maced, it stops them instantly.
it wouldn't be very effective if it didn't send em running basically as soon as it touched em
>implying mace is any stronger than nutmeg
I bake it in cookies
>mfw butthurt 9gaggers oust themselves as reddit patriarchal cis-swine
i know you want to use words you consider "fancy" in an effort to sound intelligent.
but someone outs themselves with regards to revealing identity
if they were ousted, they would have been removed from the thread