Sorry guys, was taking a shit. 4 decides
I never use the toilet. I always, with the water off naked, shit in the shower. Then, I sit down and use my special shit chopping butter knife that I keep in my vanity drawer to cut it all up and dissect it. It's very interesting to find out which part of the shit is which meal because some things don't really digest fully, such as mushrooms, some beans, tomatoes, venlafaxine pills (this is how I can exactly tell which meal is which bit because I take my dose at exactly the same time each day) and I can work it out because sometimes there is no venlafaxine pills (they just look exactly the same except slightly yellow) in the shit that it takes normally longer than 24 hours for the food to go from your mouth to become shit, although it varies quite a lot and sometimes (because I take two pills a day) there will be 4 pills and then I know it took two days at least (constipation) and my record is 6 pills but that was when I was taking morphine so at least three days from mouth to ass which is quite a long time. Sometimes, the shit is very very hard and it separates into little pellet balls which I think means I am dehydrated even though I drink tonnes of water and other times it is diarrhea which means I'm sick. Then I become very paranoid about clooging the drain and someone finding what I am doing so that's why I then have to chop it up very very very fine and smush it with the knife. Then, I put the shower on still sitting down and do a gold panning sort of thing with the water so all the small bits slowly go down the drain leaving the larger ones to be chopped up by me. After all of that I then have a normal shower and scrub the floor and my body with antibacterial soap.
Sometimes if I have a very full belly I will go into the shower and do the same thing except make myself vomit, it really is amazing how much you can fit in your stomach
OP here. I'm not stupid I know you can't go to jail for sending a video. But I rather not joke around with people getting beheaded, you know?
5 is next
I went through something similar, back in elementary school everyone called me pogo because every time I got a boner during class my dick was long enough that I could just grab my legs and hop out of the classroom, some of the kids thought I had an actual pogo stick in my pants until I got to embarrassed and finally told them it was actually my dick. Since the incident I was called pogo. Everyone would point and laugh at me as I bounced up and down the hallways.
One day as I was bouncing down the sidewalk on my home some of the meaner kids started coming towards me, and I expected the worse, but what I didn't expect was for one of them to kick me right in the middle of my dick, causing me to fall and scrape my knees. I went home crying as they called after me yelling "Pogo! Pogo!".
When I got home my mom was waiting and I told her what happened. She tried to comfort me but I just kept crying and crying until I realized it was actually from the pain that my penis was feeling. My mom immediately took me to the hospital and I went into the ER. They sedated me an when I woke up the doctor gave me the news. They had surgically removed my penis and testicles and I was medically stripped my gender identification.
From then on when people called me pogo, I would just pull down my pants and laugh at their faces when they saw. I was never bullied again after that.
OP here. You guys fucking suck. 3 decides