Ability to see through wooden walls but only for 1 second every 94 years.
The ability to communicate with and control a companion snail
The ability to become a nigger for 24 hours
Not a superpower. Technically, we are able to walk through walls, it's just hugely mathematically unlikely that the free space in our atoms would allign at the right point to allow it. Not impossible though.
I enjoy teaching my science class that and watch them spend the rest of the afternoon running into shit and hurting themselves.
The ability to prove to a Christian/Muslim/Jew/Fox"News"Presenter/Republican/NRA Member/AynRandFollower/Anti-Gun"Liberal"/other 'tard precisely, concisely, succinctly, specifically and in an understandable and straightforward, and utterly quotable manner how&why they are completely wrong about a given subject.
>image related, didn't do him any fucken good.
You could use this to avoid the draft.
Tell snail to go into women's locker room, tell me who looks the best naked
You could train to get better endurance
Someone could hold the phone up to their ear.
>Tell snail to go into women's locker room, tell me who looks the best naked
Nigguh, getting told how good some chick looks naked will only make me want to see her naked even more.
The ability to implode at will. Only works once
The ability to transform into a black person when within 50 yards of an authority figure. Hell, the ability to turn black in general.
The ability to shit out of your dick
The ability to predict where and when the first drop of rain in a storm will fall
The ability to cry urine
I try and think of some more
>implying i wouldn't want girls grinding my dead body at my funeral
relatives would think i was having the best secret life ever to be having girls grinding me even after death
"Hey man, can you put your dog on the phone?"
Chances are, nothing will happen.
If you do get detained, chances are you'll only be questioned, they'll discover you suffer from autism, then they'll let you free.
Not very useless at all.
>1 second every 94 years
If this was a legit power and it happened to someone, they'd think they were just tripping balls for a moment, then never remember it for the rest of their life. Not only is it useless, but OP is a faggot.
Make a program that will guess every possible lottery number besides that last remaining one. Once all options have been exhausted, you know with 100% confidence (not a guess) what the actually lottery number is.
oh ok so you get granted this power and be like "hmm when should I use this 1sec lasting wooden wall x-ray gaze... I've got my whole lifetime to use it, since I can only use it once, so I'll save it for when I need it." which will be never.
The ability to make an agreeable or decent post on /b/.
About as useless as I can think up.