feels thread, tell me your stories /b/ , no cancer
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This is gunna be really hard but I have a cancer story. First time I've opened up about it but fuck it you people are all I have >be me >18 >at home, heating up some leftovers >normal night >live alone >phone rings >it's my dad, just called to talk cause he just moved out of his house BC whore mom >just talking about normal shit >open up /b/ and browse while I talk cause he rambles >hardcore migrane out of nowhere >dad's freaking out cause I made an awful noise >blurry vision for a bit, focus back in >on my monitor is this thread >horrified I slowly realize this thread gave me cancer
There was a collegefag in the previous thread that I offered to buy a present for or take out for lunch and then the thread 404'd before I could get any of his info. If you're in here, I'd still like to get to know you.
>sick of feeling like shit all the time >sick of wasting my life >sick of watching porn 24/7 >sick of graduating into weirder and weirder porn just so I can get off >sick of having no friends >sick of being ugly >I want my fucking mom
I was looking for someone in college whose birthday just past. Since he had moved out of state and didn't have many friends back home, he wasn't expecting any presents, so I offered to mail him something. Then the thread 404'd so I was hoping he'd come over here.
Mate, I'm so sorry to hear that. I dated a girl for over a year, and I definitely learned about how profoundly you can love a person. Life is absurdly unfair, no-one deserves to have something like that happen to them.
>become 18 >no one eever came to my birthdays since I'm 11 >try to lure them with a lot of alcohol >actually some people came >Assholes came with SUVs >load everything I have >drive away >I'm alone again
so much shit going on right now /b/. Brief synopsis of what is happening in my life I'm 30 and have cancer (Stage 1 hodgkins lymphoma, 3rd occurrance) I start radiation soon. Also I am on house arrest for a dui, 4 1/2 months in 1 1/2 to go but haven't been laid since a week before I got put on house arrest.
>be me >be with cute, stunning girl >she is what i call perfect >good looks >has my sort of humor >cooks superb >pretty active in the medical/health department (talking life saving and whatnot) >2.5 years >was her first bf >she breaks up under blameshifting >ends up getting together with her best guy friend >a year passes >theybreakup >start texting with her >goes on for some months >ask her what she thinks about trying it again
she answersa bit late that she is still with that guy, eventhough she clearly deleted every picture / comment of them on facebook + she has no relationship status.
she also said that the time we were together was very nice but also very hard.
and what did i do? i said yes, i didnt disagree, i agreed with her instead of manning up.
first of all she said 1,5 years, yet we were together a bit over 2 years, with the 2 year mark she wrote me some nice words and i wrote her something on her fb profile, which she deleted. that made me kinda mad.
she also suggested texting every now and then, i agreed.
and still, im mad at myself for not standing my man, i swore to myself that id not let me get so "weak" again and i couldnt.
>>599801686 The thing though is people keep telling me I don't need a girl to be happy. I don't know though, I just feel like a machine that is missing a cog. I can't function properly. I am also wearing a fake smile all the time so I look all depressed and creepy.
I was a courier. Couldn't stay in one place for too long for obvious reasons. Did most of my work around New England. Had a good friend who asked me to deliver something for him. Made me promise I wouldn't open the package. Got a call from his sister a day later, he had killed himself. I opened that fucking package and it was his suicide note. Fuck you Darren, what the fuck was wrong with you? You sent me to fucking deliver your suicide note to your girlfriend at college? I was your fucking friend man, and now I'm left with your sister staying at my place cause she can't sleep at your old place alone, all because you couldn't handle life when it kicks you in the teeth? Well thanks a fucking lot man. I still delivered your letter. Dumb fuck.
I was born as the daughter of two heroin addicts. My whole life has been shit so far. I'm turning twenty soon, got my own flat with my bf, work as a nurse but nothing makes me happy. I'm feeling sick all the time, my body is giving up. Dropped about 17kg in the last 8 months because I can't eat. I feel sick all the time, don't think this shit will end too soon...
>me >slight depression >be with beautiful, stunning girl >she makes me so fucking happy >take her out with friends >she blatantly ignores me through out whole date >she's talking to my bestfriend (male solid 8/10) >laughing and enjoying herself like she never ever does with me >fucking tears me apart to see her so happy and full of life with another person >this continues for several days >my bestfriend and girlfriend are literally always together laughing and enjoying each others company what do i do? i mean she seems so happy with him and when she's with me she acts so mundane and flat. i dunno if i'm being dumb or something or just overprotective and jealous. any advice?
fuck it, why not >moved up to some shit hole town when I was a kid >dad's a dick (of course) >never hit me that much so I guess I was lucky >has a heart failure due to paralysis ticks >fast forward a few years >day after my 15th birthday he has a stroke and I have to call the ambulance and make sure he's alive ect >over the next year or so he turns into a huge cunt and treats me, my little brother and my mum like shit, tried to beat me a few times but he was weak as fuck >mum divorces him after a year and after copping abuse from his family and him >we move out one day when he was asleep >keeps harassing us even though I personally want nothing to do with him
17 now inb4 underage but eh Don't know where he is now and couldn't care less.
I know a lot of people here don't care about armyfags but here's my story.
>be 2008 >doing a tour in aghanistan >we did convoy missions almost every day, and I was a gunner >become very close friends with this guy named Patrick >we were like brothers, always hanging out and kept each other going >4 months into deployment >on a convoy from Sharana to Bagram >Patrick was in the MRAP behind ours >halfway through the trip, his truck gets hit by a huge IED blast >My ears start ringing, feel the heat from the blast, and I can't see what's going on from all the dust and smoke >Call in the attack >stand there in shock, as everything settles only to see their truck on it's side, on fire, and with the underside almost blown off. >everything felt like it slowed down, and I just collapsed to my knees crying as I just knew nobody made it. I got back in the gunner's hatch to secure the area, and noticed someone crawling out of the back of the truck. >it was one of my sargents all covered in blood and something black >a few minutes later 2 more people came out looking just as bad, and they were just in shock from what just happened. >and then the sargent called for the medic >medic arrives as we block the truck off and provide security >and that's when I seen him >he was covered in blood, limp, and his head looked like it was smashed in or something >I had to stand there helpless as they put his body on a stretcher and put him in the back of the medic's truck. >then I heard the sitrep... my best friend was pronounced dead. >I just broke down and told someone else to take the gunner's hatch as I couldn't even stand up from feeling every emotion all at once. >We finally get to Bagram and they take him off somewhere before I can even get a chance to see him one last time. >Later that day, I watched the humvee that was carrying his casket drive towards the airport as our company stood by the road with a salute.
I miss him so bad. It's been 7 years now, and I still have nightmares.
>>599801686 Let me give you some /b/rotherly advice anon. These days, I was dumped and her reason was something as fucking cliché and stupid as "I need to find myself" and that she was "sorry for taking me on a ride" my response would be "well, fuck off then, and don't fucking come back." and I would NEVER communicate with her again, I'd also ignore all her attempts to communicate with me.
>>599802894 >Let me give you some /b/rotherly advice anon. These days, I was dumped and her reason was something as fucking cliché and stupid as "I need to find myself" and that she was "sorry for taking me on a ride" my response would be "well, fuck off then, and don't fucking come back." and I would NEVER communicate with her again, I'd also ignore all her attempts to communicate with me.
Damn it, replied to the wrong one before, I meant to reply here.
>be me >girlfriend and I are constantly arguing >fear it may be over >last weekend she comes over >it's almost like when we first started dating >no arguments >just passionate make out sessions >and some Mario kart, because fuck yeah, Mario kart >we get down to business >we both do the apology thing where we say "It wasn't your fault, it was mine." >fall asleep holding her and feeling like maybe the world isn't so bad after all >wake up the next morning >she's not in the bed >maybe she's in the shower >look in the bathroom >her toothbrush is gone >get a sick feeling in my stomach >rushing through the house >everything she bought or brought over to the house is gone >rush to the freezer >open the door >all the thin mints are gone >I worked overtime for a month to save up for those thin mints >she didn't even like thin mints >she just wanted to hurt me
I'm becoming a hermit and it doesn't even really matter to me. Life lost its luster when I finally opened up my eyes to how meaningless our existence is. I go to sleep every night not wanting to wake up. I have a beautiful girlfriend and things are going well for me right now all things considered, but I still lay in bed at night and cry myself to sleep thinking about how I wish I never had to carry the burden of existence. I've contemplated suicide since I was a teenager, and I just don't have the balls to do it. I'm 23 and feel like I have nothing left to live for knowing that no matter what I accomplish in life it will all be washed away into nothingness when the universe comes to reclaim the resources my very existence wastes. I think I've just forgotten how to be happy, and other people are like a toxin to me. Thinking about all the sad pointless, miserable lives the people around me live every single day just amplifies my own hatred of the pointless existence we cling to. I was actually a pretty popular guy in school but ever since I graduated I found more comfort in sitting at home alone getting lost in video games than spending time with friends. Lately my texts consist of my girlfriend and my mom, with close friends being ignored to the point of them giving up on talking to me because I can't muster the willpower to fake a smile and do "normal" things with anyone anymore. I've also gotten pretty dependent on weed to get me through my day, I just finished off an ounce that I only had for I think 3 weeks tonight. I don't even know what to do to help myself when there's really nothing anyone can say to make me feel better since the depression that haunts me stems from questions of our very existence that men far greater than I spent their whole life fruitlessly searching for the answer to. I hate myself more and more every day I let this depression get the best of me and I let my life go to waste.
>>599791628 I know that feel. It took me about a year to get past her (we've been together for about half a year). I really thought she was my soulmate, but now after roughly 3 years since we stopped seeing each other, I think it's better like that. I lied to her too much. Just keep on fighting anon, you'll find a better woman
Thanks, I'm literally shaking right now just talking about it, but I just had to let it off my chest. Fuck I miss him so bad! Just goes to show you how fast life can turn around on you. I try to make the most out of life now, and dedicate everything I do to him.
ok this happened on friday >go to this party on thursday, get drunk and stay over >my gf has to go home the next day i decide to stay for a bit >call this girl anna >had sex with her last night, gf doesn't know >anna is like yo u wanna get fucked? >sure what you got >crush and rack up 2 ectasy pills and sniff them and take a tab of acid each >pretty cool at first we're just chilling and kissing and shit >we go to the beach and shit i'm tripping hard never done e or acid b4 >sit on the beach for like an hour watching the sea, arm in arm >literally fucking perfect, think im falling for this girl >talk about her life shes pretty fucked up and shit >tell her i want to help her and shit, help her get better >we go back to hers and she starts freaking out a little >starts crying and shit, i'm trying to comfort her >she looks me dead in the eye and says hit me >i hit her across the face and she burst into tears >flinched when i tried to hug her and apologize >i leave
mfw i feel like a fucking monster because I've never hit a girl and I feel like I've betrayed her and myself and I feel fucking ill. I just wanted to help her.
>>599786920 ok I've been lurking for a while here, I was the guy with dem quints, here's my story.
>be me about 16 ish months ago now >meet cool girl at work >she's cute, funny, cheeky humour, different to any other girl I've met >become good friends >start dating >she eventually has to leave and work somewhere else for visa reasons, because she's from a different country. >maintain long distance relationship >always talk but only have been able to see each other a few times since. >miss her like crazy sometimes, I'm a cynical, bitter, angry, jaded dude, and she's like my light in a dark, bleak world. >In a few months her visa will expire and she will have to return to her country >almost impossible for her to stay or return >don't know what to do >neither of us wanna break up but might be the only option in the end.
>>599808225 Shit anon. If some nigger (or anyone) killed my brother and only got 10 years I'd be sitting outside the prison in a bush somewhere with a hunting rifle the day he walks out. Only way that fucker would be leaving is in a casket.
>I live alone about an hour away from my parents >Try to visit every weekend but it's hard, lots of homework/obligations all the time >Mom has had cancer for almost 5 years, doctor recently suggested starting hospice >Want to be visiting every weekend more than ever, but like I said it's hard to work out even though I do my best >Can feel the stress of everything physically wearing on me >Don't really have any friends to do things with and relax; all of my irl acquaintances are just colleagues who would only want to meet up to do work >Friend from out of state suggests a couple months ago that he could come visit for a weekend, we make plans >He cancels the day before for no reason >About a week ago, he promises to visit again this weekend >Ask on Friday if he still plans on coming >Get a text this afternoon saying no
And now I feel like shit for having spent time cleaning my apartment in anticipation of company instead of doing homework or going home to my parents for the weekend, on top of feeling like shit for having someone cancel on me without even a decent heads up. I don't know what to do anymore.
>>599804605 stage 1 isn't terminal its highly treatable. Even though this is my 2nd relapse (3rd time total) having it my chances are still 80%. But yeah it can be. If you are going to die wouldn't you rather be doing things you enjoy instead of just sitting at home all day with no pussy?
>>599810934 Fucking goddamn this is me most nights, afraid I'll dream about my ex if I go to sleep. Just had one the other day that we were still together, woke up feeling like complete and utter shit.
>>599811702 I have fapped myself to death. I live in a very rural area so hookers are rare and cost too much. Whores are not that rare but most of them do not have vehicles. I usually trade my pain meds for sex with the straight up pill whores.
>>599810995 But I've ruined my own life. I did an online highschool and I basically dropped out because I never got on it because of depression. I chose to be lazy and now I'm living with my mother unemployed. She and my step father are going to split up because she defends me for being a worthless piece of shit. I fell in love with my only friend who I met on the internet and now she won't talk to me because I confessed to her in a really stupid way. I've been alone for so long that I can barely even talk to people, not even my family. I will never be successful, I will never accomplish anything. I have ruined my own life. I want to be dead.
>>599804046 Your bestfriend is not your best friend. Stop treating him like that. Your girlfriend is just not happy with you. Tell her to go fuck herself and ignore her afterwards.Find new girlfriend. Problem solved.
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