Hi /b/. Today is my 18th birthday and no one remembered, not even my parents. I don't have any friends, I'm not smart, I'm not athletic, I'm not notably attractive, I'm not funny, I'm not good at talking to people, and I'm a kissless virgin. There's not a single redeemable quality about me.
I don't find anything enjoyable besides video games, but I only enjoy WoW and League, and I've found it difficult playing them because I'm bad and just hold my raid/team back.
I don't have much to live for, as no one in my family cares about me and I'm probably never going to be able to get a job.
Should I just kill myself? I've been contemplating it for about 6 years now, but only recently have I been seriously considering it. The only things that are stopping me right now are WoW, but that's going to end soon because my guild doesn't want to deal with my shitty play anymore, seeing my brother getting married, and this girl who I'm hopelessly in love with. She says she loves me back, but I really doubt it, as she'll just stop responding to my messages for several days at a time(I'm not like the hyper-beta fucks that can't take a hint, I stop sending messages after she doesn't respond to one or two), which hurts me a lot because talking to her is really the only time I'm ever genuinely happy.
So, yea, should I just kill myself now and save myself the pain, /b/?
Also: Let's at least make this a feels thread if you're just going to call me a beta faggot or what have you.
Today is my 21st birthday Anon. At 18, you're still young. When I turned 18 I was still in high school and had barely lost my virginity a couple of weeks before turning 18. You just have to not care what other people think of you and be yourself. Be outgoing and talkative because most people you meet outside of school you will never see again. You're still relative young. Plus college should be looming over you. Which means just bear it out
you are a beta faggot. But since you don't care about your life anymore what's stopping you from going out and doing some awesome stuff. Like, go and start a fight. Approach a girl. Just run in random direction as long as you can. Kill somebody famous or something. You are gonna die anyway.
Build yourself. Think about your life, what do you want and how can you change to be what you want to. Hard, but it is like being reborn. I did it, it cost 3 years, but I finally AM who I wanted to and not a useless crap because of the stereotypes of a superficial and decadent society. Happy birthday, by the way.
Suicide! Suicide! Suicide! Suicide! Suicide! Suicide! Suicide! Suicide! Suicide! Suicide! Suicide! Suicide! Suicide! Suicide! Suicide! Suicide! Suicide! Suicide! Suicide! Suicide! Suicide! Suicide! Suicide! Suicide! Suicide! Suicide! Suicide! Suicide! Suicide! Suicide!
Haha, you're a fucking pussy. I'm also 18 and I was in the same position you were but I've never thought about killing myself. You know why? Because I don't blame and feel sorry for myself. there are obviously thousands of reasons to live and everyday is just another challenge. Get a job, work out, go to college, you're 18. you have your whole life ahead of you, you piece of shit
I don't care what people think about me, like shit I dyed my hair bright pink because I just felt like doing it, never even thought what people might think. Being myself is to be a pessimistic asshole who doesn't talk to anyone. I'm not talkative because I have nothing to talk about. And college is pretty much a death sentence for me, as I can't get in to any schools, and my parents won't pay for it anyways and I have no way to pay for it.
Happy birthday op. Don't do it and keep on living'
Happy bday OP and stop being a whinny bitch. There are people starving, hiding from bullets grenades, sick with diseases that make your dick fall off. And they still have something to live for. And you wanna die because you suck at WOW and some fat bitch is ignoring you. Come on man, universe has so much to offer. You are 18, you still have time to become an astronaut or something.
i feel for your situation man, but why even ask if you should kill yourself? you either are going to or you're not. it's not like random people's opinions on the internet is going to make a difference.
I kinda feel like there's a critical mass of guys like this building up, and things will react to us once we get all the way there. Kind of like the guys who stay home and don't chase chicks in Japan. So if you stick around, you're doing the rest of /b/ a favor.
Also? Generally, you can just lower your standards and be happy at any point. If you'd rather die than lower your standards (?), that's one thing, but you haven't done anything riskier or crazier yet.
Like, you haven't even asked this girl what's up or anything. She's the only thing that makes you happy? You'd rather die than see if things can get smoothed over? Not hating on you, just wondering if you'll benefit from this perspective.
Why not just get out there and party up? If you want to die then fuck it, right? Would you rather go out alone and afraid or drunk as fuck and trying to destroy pussy? Sell drugs, party, try to fuck women, start fights, fuck shit up and meet people.
What have you got to lose? Right?
live is not about being the way you aspire to be but about becoming the way you want to be... only you can change smth about your situation, and killing yourself doesnt help a lot.
>also you're a massive faggot for even thinking about suicide
Happy Birthday OP.
Ok so listen:
The only reason you feel worthless and unhappy is because you literally are worthless and I even mean no harm. Everybody has to go to work, lick other peoples assholes to earn some cash and opportunities, humiliate themselves to maybe be able to maintain what they already have except for you. You can play your little video games and go to /b/ to feel sad about yourself and care only about "why they don't like me" because that is the only thing you currently can do. It's what your parents were working hard for - that you won't have to work like they did. I mean no harm but you have to be considerate, and sensitive: What you're living right now is NOT usual, it's the complete opposite. You don't have ANY responsibility and don't have any urges except for playing video games and dumping the shit out of you. That's the reason why you feel bad and worthless - because you live the dream that many many many people (especially in the more poorer countries in the world) would live in. Don't feel ashamed, feel that you have other things to do than to compare yourself with other people.
Have you tried drugs? Don't want to seem like a junky faggot but I'm sort of in a similar situation. I'm also 18 and have tho about killing myself since I was about 12. I started smoking weed and taking pills when I can get them and its really what I look forward to. And I always thought in the back of my head that one day it will end up better and I'll think that putting up with my life for so long was worth it. Drugs are just what I need right now to get by. That being said I don't let drugs ruin my life either. I take them pretty responsibily. I smoke weed multiple times a day and drink about once a day. I have a crazy high opiate tolerance because I was heavily addicted to them for about two years.
at least you didnt cheat on your wife and give her herpes, lose custody of your kid, get your car taken away. have your parents disown you, get arrested and thrown in jail, when you got out of jail you found out that slut you fucked also had your kid. now you have no job, no money, and owe more $ in child support than you will ever make in your life. (and nobody is telling you where your dogs are, you dont have shelter, or a friend's phone #) nobody even knows you exist other than the people who want you dead...
Stop complaining you little bitch
>26 years old
>been lurking for a long time
Look man stop being a bitch seriously. Everyone has personal issues to deal with. No one really cares about what you're going through, they are your issues suck it up and keep focusing on something that makes you happy. Everyone will have shit days and some more than others. I have been lucky in a few things in life but I've had my own fair share of shit come my way. Point is I read "kissless virgin". I'm assuming you are worried what society thinks of you since you haven't had a gf ever. One don't fucking worry you'll be suprised that time will work that out.
>lost my virginity 22 shit was just like"this is really happening.jpg"
>lrn that bitches be bitches
Also you seem very negative. Stop that shit.
Whatever gl and
i feel you man i recently turned 17 and through my 15 and 16 years i did nothing but play videogames and pretty much be nothing more than an antisocial fuckhead but i woke up one day and just realized that im wasting my life at a young age so i just started going out more meeting people and doing drugs which has made me pretty happy you just have to learn to balance not caring what people think about you but still mainting a high image of yourself its not hard once you get used to it and happy birthday OP
don't die for nothing.
i tried killing myself by taking some pills i found in the cupboard last year, found out later that those would kill me really slowly and painful so i drank a liter of milk to shit them out.
spent the rest of the summer lying around my room watching anime and playing katawa soujo like an ultimate neckbeard but for some reason it helped me talk to people and make new friends.
Because that's not who I am. I'd rather blow my brains out as myself than live a life I hate as someone I'm not.
I just can't, I've applied to every gas station, fast food place, and grocery store in my area.
I appreciate your words, but I have to touch on the part about my parents. They don't care about me. My mom hasn't acknowledged me in 3 years and my father has said several times "I wish you had just fucking died years ago". They seem to have lost faith in me around the same time I started to think about suicide, which is probably a significant factor in where I am now.
Your problem is simply your perspective. First, think of all the things you have to be thankful for, that you are grateful to have in your life. And don't tell me there is nothing, something tells me that your parents did at least a half decent job taking care of you if you're 18 and alive. Write down a list of all the things you're thankful for. It could be as simple as being able to breathe, or the sun, or for being able to eat every day. That list should be quite lengthy, if it isn't, you aren't challenging yourself enough. Once you have a long list, (and keep in mind you should write it in the format "I am thankful/grateful for my parents" or "I am thankful/grateful for having a bed to sleep in" for each one) repeat them to yourself every day. Then think about what you want to become. Who you want to be. And write all of these things down as affirmations. I am confident. I am handsome. I am intelligent. I am creative. I have found the girl of my dreams, and our love for each other is endlessly abundant. Literally anything you want, write down as an affirmation and say it EVERY SINGLE DAY. Especially those that are most important to you, that you want to change before everything else. Doing this will rewire your entire brain and after time, you will literally believe yourself, even if at first these affirmations were something you didn't believe were true. The last thing is to want to change, to need it. Your attention needs to be focused on becoming who you want to become, not on the fact that you aren't already who you want to be. Don't focus on the lack of having what you desire, focus on how it would feel to already have what it is that you want. By doing this, you are going to bring it into your experience. I promise you that it's literally this simple. All you have to do is break old neurological patterns in your brain and reform new ones. Break yourself down until you're nothing (eg. Right now, you have nowhere to go but up) and then rebuild yourself.
Also, convincing yourself that things are a certain way is what keeps you stuck in particular situations. You need to BELIEVE you can get a job, that you're worthy of college, of your parents' approval. If you keep telling yourself that you aren't good enough, that no one cares, that will be the truth. And the funny thing is, it is no ones fault but your own. You are choosing to live in a state of fear, of lack, of things not being good enough. You can CHOOSE to live in a state of love, abundance, or harmony. You just need to want it, to need it, and to take the necessary action to change the way you look at things. Happy birthday, OP. Please don't kill yourself. Figure out what you're good at. Your inclinations. The things you have a drive for. And then pursue them, regardless of what anyone tells you. This is YOUR life. No one else's. Think about yourself as a child, what interested you, or made you curious? Usually your childhood inclinations can help you find your passions.
>wants to kill self
You're a faggot. Your life hasnt even started yet and already you want to end it... People like you don't deserve life. At least have the sense to wait until you've had some life experience and suffered through a ton of shit before ending it all.
you can fix your stupid fucking life if you made some effort. go get friend, get into a hobby besides video games, read a fucking book, lift some weights, get a god damn job.
Honestly you're fucking 18 and you think life is over... How fucking retarded can you be? I'm 29 and fucking wish I was 18 again just so I can do it all over because thats when life truly starts. Grow up, you faggot.
look into this book
I am literally in the same boat as you OP. I'm the same age, kissless virgin, not many friends, literally everything you listed, except I don't really enjoy any games at all now.
People in our situation just need enjoy the little things and remember how worse things could be.
My advice is disown your parents, if they're such shitheads that they don't remember their sons birthday, they don't deserve a son. You're a better person than them.
Before you do this you need to be financed elsewhere and not by them. I know you think you can't get a job but just try your damned hardest. Once you get a job, leave.
Either stay with a friend or save up for your own place, even if it's a shithole, it will make you independent.
Once you're on your own, work towards what you want to do in life career wise.
Once you get your shit together, try and get a girlfriend. You Tinder or whatever.
You have so many opportunities in life OP, don't end it all now, may as well roll the dice eh?
I hope you read this OP. Happy Birthday
You tell me how it honestly made it worse. The only reason it would have gotten worse is if you believed it would get worse. I'm telling you, ALL of this is about the way you look at the entire situation. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. You have all the power in the world to change your current situation. If you really want it, if you are truly as depressed as you claim, then there should be nothing more in the world that you want than freedom, and this shift in perspective will not only free you but allow you to be whoever you want to be and do whatever you want to do.
Happy birthday OP.
Go out to the pub and have a pint, chat to some guys your age, it will most likely be awkward and unpleasant, but no matter what you will come out better from it. Best case scenario you've got some mates, worst, you've now improved a bit socially. Also, speak with your family, ask them for help, and go for runs, 20 mins a day, it's not much but it will make you feel happier 100% get some good tunes and run a regular route.
if youre gonna end yourself you might as well fully confess to this chick (obviously don't say you may or may not kill yourself) and say that you want to know if she is serious at all. might as well op who knows
happy birthday my nigga!! also try getting a gym membership, and start with small workouts and then work your way up. I was in your situation once, I was really depressed and attempted suicide twice. Once I started working out and feeling better about myself, my depression lessened, so maybe working out will do the same for you. I think scientifically exercise helps battle depression or some shit like that. Stay strong /b/ro
Also, exercise. Drink water. Treat your body right. That is a very simple first step, fuck whatever lack of motivation you have, JUST DO IT (Nike was onto something, even if they do have sweatshops) regardless of if it hurts, if you don't have the energy... When you start treating your body well, EVERYTHING gets better as a result. Just put clean food into your body, and make sure you move. Doesn't matter what exercise you do. Swimming, hiking, lifting, jogging, you name it. Just do something. You will feel better, I promise.
Happy 18th /b/ro.
You sound like me half my life ago. I was just as junk but maybe a little worse: the only thing that kept me from being the least popular kid in every class was that there was always that one fucker who smelled like shit and I at least wash myself. Other than that I was shit on or ignored by everyone, even the one girl who said she liked me back but would pull some of the most leedickurous shit like humiliating me in public on my birthday.
Anyway. Shit sucked for a long time until I had a change of scenery (left for college and never looked back). I reinvented myself, but really I just stopped giving over 9000 fuck about what anyone else thought and just did
until that was all I knew how to care about. Somewhere between 19 and 20 shit just turned around 360 for me and suddenly people were trying to be my friend, my dad decided he wanted to be a dad
>forgot to mention he was a fuckin ghost
and the ladies were like fighting for attention, and I really hadn't done anything at all except focus on school and getting in physical shape
>not alpha bodybuilding testosterone faggot, just decently ok
and continuing to not give a fuck about how I was going to be judged.
I can't say you can flip a switch and make it all lolis and pizza, but you can offload a lot of the caring about how other people perceive you and just be you.
>Just be you.
You assume I completely gave up, friend. I try everyday to improve myself. I try to make friends, but I never make them. I used to have hobbies, I don't enjoy them anymore. I read a lot. I work out everyday. I've been trying to get a job for two years.
Hey anon. I've been there. Right now I am there. It gets better. Then not so much. Then better again. Then a lot better. Then you get fucked in the ass with a chainnsaw and no one brings lube. The order may differ, but it's all the same. Your love may come to you. She may stay. She may not. It's your call how you deal. Kill yourself, though you won't feel better afterwords. You won't feel anything, in fact. Me? I'll keep hoping, though the odds keep stacking agaisnt me. I'd rather rage agaisnt the dying of the light, thank you.
cry or do sth.
who should change ur fukin life?
u alone. Move, improve,
if thats too complicated
then maybe kill urself
Happy birthday dude
Not OP but in his situation.
How do you suddenly not give a fuck what people think? I try to rationalize it in my head everyday that it shouldn't matter but I immediately walk around in public or at college and can feel peoples eyes burning into me, feeling judged and just feeling shit.
It's stopping me from what I want to do in life
Also, the people who are super popular in high school are the ones that end up never leaving your hometown, then they're 38 and fat tubs of shit but still acting super alpha big fish in the tiny shit pond you all grew up in. It's the people who leave who grow and look back at all the nonsense wondering why there was ever any point to caring about that scene.
It's honestly not something you can just suddenly do, just like how I can't suddenly care about what people think of me. It has to do with how you developed. If you've always been isolated, then you're used to living without the influence of others.
Source: I'm OP.
I was like you. I am not right now, but that doesn't mean I won't ever be like you again. The thing you have to remember, and convince yourself of, is that the person you are right now is not "you"; it is a transient identity. A collection of thought patterns, behavioral patterns, and personal decisions. You can change any of those three things and change the person you are. I know it sounds like shitty, re-hashed advice, but it's true. Learn to play an instrument. Do a few push-ups before bed every night. Are you in school still? If so, throw yourself into your coursework. No matter what you do, it'll feel like you're faking it, and like you're not good, and like it doesn't matter, but if you keep it up, it'll become a habit. And good habits will come to replace your bad habits. The same goes for your thought patterns; they're also habits. Some habits are harder to break than others, and I'm sorry nobody is celebrating your birthday, but remember this: people aren't remembered for what happens to them; they're remembered for what they do. It's how you choose to respond to the world around you that makes you who you are. Killing yourself is a permanent solution to a temporary set of problems; there are always better ways to solve them. Happy birthday, anon. We love you.
Here's a couple of examples.
When you're playing a sport on some team, you have opponents who are actively rooting for you to fail. Half the people in the building (or more) actually want you to fall on your face.
When you're giving a presentation in class for some project or something, everyone wants you to succeed because nobody feels good watching someone else give a shitty talk. It's embarrassing and uncomfortable for EVERYONE in the building - it's no longer about competing for grades, it's about oh god I can't believe this is so awkward, I wish everyone would just do well so that these awkward moments of that guy standing up there making an ass out of himself wouldn't happen.
Sports are really artificial...people are really not rooting for anyone else to fail because it's really uncomfortable to see that. So the people who you think are judging you when you're in public - I guarantee you they are just as uncomfortable and preoccupied with how YOU are perceiving THEM. They actually are ROOTING for you to be awesome because anything else would be really uncomfortable, and they are HOPING that they don't fuck it up to be the center of negative attention.
THIS ANXIETY IS IN EVERYONE. It is not your fault for experiencing it. Nothing is wrong with you. EVERYONE feels this. It's just the kind of thing we don't want to talk about because we don't want to think about it because it's just all so fucking awkward, right?
So anyway, you've heard the old joke about if you're nervous when standing up in front of a room speaking to people, just imagine them all naked? There's some truth in that - we're all fucking self-conscious as shit, and when you're that internally-focused you fail to realize that EVERYONE is going through that shit to some extent - MOST OF ALL the super alpha extroverted douchenozzles who come off as being on top of their games when all they're doing is trying to put on a show. See through them!
Really though if you want a shortcut to peace and happiness then do an 8th of mushrooms. It will flip your world upside down and make you realize so many necessary things in making your life better.
You know, you can fix many things. For example, you can start working out, just do something. You'll definitely look better over time, you will gain selfconfidence, with which you will be at least a bit better in social things. Don't sink yourself in a pool of grief, you are able to do not everything, but many many things which you DEFINITELY CANT if you are dead, life is worth living. Happy Birthday, I believe in you.
More on how to no longer give fucks:
Find something you love to do. Something that you would do for yourself independent of whether anyone else ever saw it or if anyone else ever knew. This could be drawings that you never share, or music that you play but never perform in public, or the Great Amerifag Novel that doesn't ever get published, or you write a new programming language or some shit - doesn't matter. It's only yours, and it's not for public consumption. This activity is now completely free from external judgment. It's for you to get awesome at: at your own pace, in your own way, to whatever extent you feel is appropriate. Channel energy into that and it just may surprise you what it does to the rest of your existence. When you have that personal thing, everything else is comparatively whatevs. So if it goes well, great, if not, meh, not so important. You will cease giving fucks about ordinary shit because what you REALLY give fucks about is nobody else's business but your own.
Someday, you may even be motivated to share your personal art/expertise/music/writing/masterpiece/rube goldberg masturbation machine/whatever with someone worth your trust - but in the meantime, you'll have separated what's important from what's mundane and you can keep your emotions anchored to the former.
More, because this shit is important for me to share.
Any opportunity you have to switch from CONSUMER to PRODUCER will dramatically improve your existence. What I mean by that is that if you are shitting X hours per week down the toilet playing video games that someone else designed and is getting rich off of, I challenge you to instead learn how to program and design games of your own so that you are doing something creative and increasing your own skillset (ironically leveling up your IRL character instead of some cartoon shit). If you eat your feelings via fast food and liquor and mountain dew, learn how to cook and homebrew beer and maybe take a bartending class so that you become the creator of those things that you were otherwise just consuming. If you wank to webcomics, start drawing your own and see if you can get people coming to visit YOUR site and shoot ropes to YOUR hannelore (ok maybe that's just me).
Anything you do where you're shelling out $ to consume some product that eats up your time as "entertainment" is probably an opportunity to turn yourself from end-user to god-tier life root...and achieving mastery in ANYTHING is HOT to the ladies (and dudes).