Images are sometimes not shown due to bandwidth/network issues. Refreshing the page usually helps. The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact. You are currently reading a thread in /b/ - Random
>>600431598 Years ago. I've dreamed 2x this week of hearing the sirens go off for nukes incoming and once where I walk to my car from the house to go to uni, then boom I see 3 UFOs flinging around the sky. I think that's in part because I live next to whiteman air force base and jets fly over constantly. But teeth falling out is scary shit
>>600432119 Have you ever chewed 5 Gum? It feels like taking a whole pack of that, and then gluing it to your ass hole, and then running head first into a cement wall. Its the best feeling in the world.
A year ago I was jobless and actually had to camp out homeless for a couple of weeks, Now I have a plumbing license and make more money than most of my friends who are still fighting off student loans.
I have nicer things and eat better. I live in a nice three bedroom apartment with two housemates, One of whom I make love with every couple of weeks in an on again off again thing that we laugh about.
I don't feel like I'm any happier. Sometimes I pine for the life I was helped out of. Debts I've paid twenty times over and still want to give more for. The people who helped me mean the world to me. But sometimes after a long day I urn for a cold night in my old tent, Only a small gas heater to stave off the cold and only a stack of library books to entertain me. Not planning on going to sleep until I was good and ready, Having nothing but more of the same to wake up to. Sometimes I miss wandering down to the creek to wash, living off of the fat of the land and what money I could come across with oddjobs and favors.
>>600432623 Hell, I know what you mean. I was homeless for a good couple years. I traveled, Walking from place to place, staying at salvation army shelters where possible, A warm enough patch of cement where not. When I was 19 I had gone 2 days without food and thought I was going to die. I strangled a racoon to death, patched up my arms with an old shirt I had, wandered into the woods, and cooked it cooked it on an open flame like a fuckin' caveman. If cavemen had bic lighters, that is. I've never felt that alive since.
>>600433439 I've wanted to just leave everything and live like that, the freedom would be amazing. I don't know how long it could work, and could use some survival lessons. Also people skills would help
Have you ever read about peoples near-death and after-death experiences?
Have you ever smoked DMT?
Last time I smoked DMT, I smoked 300mg in one hit. 3x the amount recommended.
It made me wonder, with all the similarities between near-death and after-life experiences to DMT trips, do we ever really die? Or do we just stop experiencing this, and start experiencing a different level of consciousness?
>you can never change your past because it is what has occurred to culminate into this moment >every moment but one is the past to a future moment. >you can not change any moment but the very last moment ever >your life is predetermined.
>>600433834 They're a must man. The worst enemy is yourself, though. If you chat with homeless people you'll find that most of them are drug addicts, And that they're not homeless because of the addiction, It's the other way around. It's a tough life if you're not good at entertaining yourself. Public libraries are a huge help, But you need a good water resistant bag for your books. If you don't take care of the books they're going to stop lending to you.
Also, There are few places even in rural areas these days that you're allowed to set up camp. If you ask an average police officer they should be able to tell you where you can, But be careful. There are police officers that see a homeless person as nothing more than a mark that can't get anywhere they need warrant to go. So they're a last resort for risk. The rednecks at your local hunting shop are a better choice.
also, Get good and used to the taste of rubbing alcohol. It's about the cheapest and most portable means of brushing your teeth effectively without water, and most homeless folk don't have dental coverage for some reason. Don't swallow rubbing alcohol, though. It's a drunk, But it's a sick drunk.
Why do I have to be so prideful? I don't do things in fear that I will be mocked or laughed at.. how do others just not give a fuck? Do they not think about how others will react? And while I realize other people don't give a fuck, they also like to gossip, so what the fuck?
>>600434776 see that's the weirdest/coolest thing about it. The text reads, "your life is predetermined," while the subtext reads, "but that doesn't tell you anything about what is predetermined so live it like it isn't."
I was thinking about how unequal men are born. They are obviously unequal in every aspect: height, skin, look, intelligence, laziness... But what the law provides is equality in chance and liberty. The law tries to erase those inequality. What you think?
I always think of myself in third person. I feel like time is flowing past me.I dont care for a single thing in the world, the feeling is weird since i feel like i am not really who i am so nothing bad can ever happen to me.
>>600435381 Well, you could get into drugs and prostitution like a homeless person on tv if you don't mind arrests and std's.
But if that doesn't sound like a slice of heaven to you for some reason there are more down to earth methods. When I was down in Virginia I used to be involved in a bunch of holiday events that paid under the table. I was the fake chainsaw murderer at dixie cavern's haunted cave thing for a few years running. $100 for scaring people with a bladeless chainsaw was a good time. And several hospitals hire anyone who asks to help decorate for events. You'll have to take orders from the actual private contracter they get to organize it, But they usually pay you through them with no mention of tax.
Also lived with a couple of friends for some months. They let me crash on their couch and I made sure they came home to a home cooked meal every night. Kind of the wife to a couple. They were even sad when I decided to head out and gave me a gift card to wal mart. Never paid a cent to them for rent. So household skills go far.
I was thinking the other day, what if every single universe in string theory existed in the same place at the same time?
So atoms, quarks, gluons, etc. are mostly just empty space, right? What if our reality is the a particular set of these particles vibrating at that exact moment? Or that the true universe is one solid, amorphous mass of every particle to have existed, and the experience we have is that set of molecules vibrating, simply passing by the other infinite particles within itself.
Could this explain for how observing particles changes them? Or how two particles can influence one another across impossible distances?
>be living in a good house >good room mates >make shit wage in the city >need more money to travel >have a job on farm
Leaving for said farm in one week. I always get emotional before these sorts of moving/travel things... combined anxiousness, itchy feet, and restlessness. not sure if im prepared to leave for a move. time like these, life seems to big.
but atomic oscillations are a real thing in conjunction with out experienced reality.
Observation of particles is easy to explain though.. It is equally possible to have particle in multiple spots at once, however it is impossible for it to be in all spots at once, so particle essentially ends up in one spot. But could also end up at different spots upon subsequent observations.
I graduate from highschool in a few months and I start college afterwards. I am wondering if I should work full time so I can move out for many reasons then do college when I can eventually. I want to major in psychology. Any advice?
Just pulled out equity in my home to kickstart my dream startup business. If it doesn't work, shit's going to go down pretty hard in my life. I'm scared, but I need to take the risk. I'm sick of working a salary job towards someone else's dream.
>>600430736 The other night I was thinking about slicing another person's nose down the bridge, putting cayanne pepper in it, then slicing down their stomach and sticking my hands in and feel the warmth leaving their body and spreading their bloody life force all over them. I would then take their genitalia, parts of brain, and slices of meat and fatty tissue and proceed to make sausages with it that I would then feed to people for breakfast in my restaurant if I had one.
If we make the same mistakes we made as cavemen, we fight & hate & torture each other, maybe these are not mistakes. Maybe suffering & misery is the point of life. Maybe we love suffering because it fast tracks us to enlightenment. Admit it, we're addicted to conflict. We love earthquake and cancer and dictators, we love war & we do love incurable lingering illnesses, we love serial killers, we love suicide. Don't believe me ? Just turn on your television & watch any information channel. Watch any movie or read any book that received many distinctions, & you'll see it's about something dramatic & painful. We love our drama, we love our problems, without them, what would be left of us ? People love to complain, not because they don't like their problems, but they complain like they would speak about their favorite movie. We're here only temporary, & we're here to suffer. So if we could just accept that, we could accept anything that happens in the world. Maybe we're living our lives exactly like we're meant to.
>>600437163 I do, in a good point in life. Friends, fiancee, striving toward dream job etc. Basically, it feels like i'm making progress even if i'm not there yet (Towards optimal life i want to live). Fucking optimism bro
>>600430736 Im thinking about how freewill must be a complete illusion. We are offered stimulus from the world and our minds have chemically reinforced procedures in which sophisticated electrical impulses cause muscle contractions to produce responses. We can not live without our schema and impulses. I had no choice but to write this. You have no choice but to believe what you've been reinforced to believe after reading this.
>I cannot ever tell her that I cheated on her. She'd be so sad. >Nothing matters and I know it. Everything is incredibly insignifigant >I've been planning to kill myself. I'm going to do it tomorrow. I'll just park my car in the garage and leave it running while I sit in it and smoke weed until I pass out. >I feel sad but I don't want to tell anyone because I don't want to be labeled as depressed. I'm not depressed. Other people are depressed but i'm not. That's for other people >I hope she finds someone else once i'm gone. I know she cares a lot >Everyone will go away eventually. Nothing lasts forever. >typing this makes me feel like a faggot
>>600437163 I love my life, it's not perfect, nothing ever is, I am lucky in that I can accept and enjoy the things I have chosen for my life. I have a wife and a young child and i am lower middle class and I would rather work 9-5 at 24 an hour and play vidya with all my spare time than work my ass off and not have the time to enjoy the money I make. I also do MDMA once a month or so, more in the summers, been doing mdma off and on for 10 years and I enjoy life more when I can break down my barriers and look at life through pure love once in awhile
>>600437745 You need to be careful with that. Most truckers aren't the kindly lonesome hicks they're portrayed to be, Most are generally misanthropic slobs who know full well that anything they do to you that ends up on the evening news will be the word of "an upstanding member of society" vs. "A listless dropout sucking from the veins of the country" And your average person isn't trustworthy for their own reasons either. I'm not saying it can't work out, I'm just saying if that's your desire you should carry a weapon and get a concealed carry permit so it doesn't get confiscated by a cop.
>>600438517 I have no scientific evidence or knowledge of this because I didn't spend half of my life learning physics and calculus. But I fail to see Time as something that could be made alternate to it's path. When everything is said and done the mechanics of matter will fall into its place after an eternity of decay. For me, in this one reality, even if it is one of many, there is nothing I can do that wasn't already going to happen. And there is nothing that has happened that I can change.... Time is a brick and if our minds had the tools we'd be a long hall encased.
>>600438931 The lucidity to question it is proof to your mental health. If you were delusional it's unlikely that you'd consciously wonder if you were delusional, You'd probably just assume that your perception is fine and declare yourself "right". This is the typical thought process of the mentally ill.
>>600439333 Your problem is duality and thinking mind and matter are two different concepts.
Also time is a human construct that can be easily distorted. But that is besides the point
We are one big chemical mechanism, we are one huge biological machine. WE are our brains, so when our brains have a chemical reaction to a stimulus, why is that not free will?
As for a predetermined future or multiple realities, there is nothing supporting that scientifically. There is no reason to think anything is pre determined like that, It makes alot more sense for it to go stimulus ---> brain response ----> reaction dictating reality in this case.
>Pissed off because i have mystery illness that we are trying to work out through medical tests and its bad enough that i cannot earn an income but it can be sporadic... >violently ill more days than not, some days i'm okay. >a doctors response for me needing a sicknote was "well you don't look that ill today so obviously you're okay to work" >Mfw i've been throwing up all morning, been hospitalised multiple times over the past year and a half- two years this has been going on... >now no method of income and running out... getting sick of it... needed a rant... thanks /b
I firmly believe that H.P. Lovecraft wrote his novel At the Mountains of Madness as antiobesity campaign. Those shoggoths that dwell deep inside mountains were fat people, enslaved by humankind, which proceeded to evolve into a barrel like creature who breed through spores and such. Obese people were useless, so they had to be evolved into formless mass that can perform various tasks needed for this society to thrive.
>>600435145 The very last moment is the present. You can change the present.....but not really because it takes our brains a fraction of a second to process things. We are always living in the past. I want to actually live in the present and know what the world looks like, and what food tastes like. I want to actually live and be aware of all the wonderful things I can experience and am experiencing. When I wake, will it all just be a dream?
I like to think about what It be like to talk to a therapist. We might have a chat about my crippling social anxiety that prevents me from having friends for too long, and which also attributed to my girlfriend of 2 years breaking up with me. >granted I think about that shit everyday >shit sucks being a social reject
>>600441211 type one hyperglycemic, problems with anxiety/depression from a young age and i basically just randomly throw my guts up, i feel sick to my stomach and things like smells or sounds can even set it off, it seems that my body doesnt want food in it... but it also dosen't not want food in it... it feels ill and just fucked either way... some days its bad enough that i need to be hospitalised and put on a drip, some it dosent happen at all, its just more often than not.
>>600440794 I think the most interesting thing about this argument, much like the god argument, is that it doesn't matter what the truth is. Were still left with what we have... Either way... You had no choice but to say that ;)
>>600441067 >Takes a fraction of a second to process stimuli >implying that means no free will Your literally still making decisions based on that stimuli and your receiving all stimuli (ie how food tastes) and experiencing this shit in a tangible reality. "Time" is the fucking construct, not the reality your experiencing. There is a difference, please don't mix that shit up. Even the authors of those neuroscience papers have stated this because so many people miss interpret what the fucking results mean. Free will is not null because of processing. The whole processing thing is literally free will occurring.
>>600440794 The only thing out of what you said that I care to comment about is your take on other universes and us possibly living within a multiverse.
In the most recent study on pre-Big Bang science posted at arXiv.org, a team of researchers from the UK, Canada, and the US, Stephen M. Feeney, et al, have revealed that they have discovered four statistically unlikely circular patterns in the cosmic microwave background (CMB). The researchers think that these marks could be “bruises” that our universe has incurred from being bumped four times by other universes. If they turn out to be correct, it would be the first evidence that universes other than ours do exist.
Read more at: http://phys.org/news/2010-12-scientists-evidence-universes.html#jCp
I feel so hopeless sometimes just a few minutes ago I thought how my life is going no where and I feel trapped within my own stupidity. Like all of the drugs, drinking, bad food, and bad choices have caught up to me.
>>600442032 Sounds like Cyclic vomiting syndrome coupled with just straight up anxiety from it. Shit can be maternally genetic and recessive. Might be a type of migrane? probably means brain is really dehydrated when onsets start to occur. No idea how to treat it as of yet. but will look into it and let you know more if thread is alive still in a bit
Pray for Plagues - Bring me the Horizon Selene - Imagine Dragons Ohioisonfire - Of Mice & Men Worship the Digital Age - Whitechapel Sober - Childish Gambino Thirty Three - The Ghost Inside Sparks - Parkway Drive Reprogramming Mental Programming - Dance Gavin Dance Fanfare for the Conscious Man - Enter Shikari Running with the Boys - lights
>>600444134 It's impossible that we're the only planet with life; whether they are visiting or not who knows. But aliens, I dunno; I'm not afraid myself but not knowing their intentions, methods.. can be scary. Fuck if being abducted is anything like fire in the sky...
>>600430736 I feel like I have a splintered and split personality. I go through periods of being highly functional, then descended into periods where I'm anxious, sloppy, overtaxed, and near braindead.
I feel nauseous. I can barely type out this short paragraph. I'm bored. I don't feel anything, I can't remember anything. Skills I had acquired, gone. Memories, can't access them. Information, can't access. Simply, do, not, know. A week ago I could explain in depth every aspect of human metabolism of sugars, hormone synthesis, some chemistry, biology. I could keep chipping away at a compression algorithm I'm making. I could explain AC, how transformers work.
Now I can't even remember what "voltage" means.
I'm back here. Again. Usually this comes with alteration of higher functions, like personality, perception, etc. Memories will come and go, or I'll have a brief spike of clarity and internal unity. Certain pieces are attached to certain states. It has been a long time since I've outright lost access to everything. I don't ever want to be here again.
>>600437163 I don't... You know most of the choices I made after high school just fucked my life up. My family is there but I lost my friends, I kept thinking someday I'll be good but, I just can't. Fucking genetics fucked me up real good.
>>600437163 It's hell and little beyond perpetual misery, but I do find some value and beauty in it. It's really a split sense of self experience. Some part of me doesn't just want to stop being alive, but wants to die. It just doesn't connect to the "whole" and just is.
>>600430736 >be me >write philosophy-paper >have this thought
Based on our finite existence we are incapable to understand an infinite existence >so far nothing new but that means, that we conceive our enviroment as finite systems. In a finite system there are rules which determine the structure and outcome of the system. But closed systems are contained by superordinate systems. If you look from the superordinate system into the subordinate system the subordinate rules are "bendable". That's because the rules of the subordinate system are determined by the rules of the superordinate system. If one now try to see the cosmos not as closed, but as open system, all rules of our systems become regulatives instead of rules.
>TL;DR Because the cosmos is an open system our rules are actually regulatives, but an open system is to complex for an finite entity to comprehend, so the regulatives are accepted as rules and that's the source of what we think is determinism
I'm thinking it's 0443, -5F and I am off to work at a place that though it pays me quite well, I would like to watch it burn to the ground. so.. why am I too lazy to look for a different job, or is a cut in pay at another company worth my sanity.
>>600444861 >>600445631 I know wiki is shit for a actual source but http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bipolar_disorder
Associated features are clinical phenomena that often accompany the disorder but are not part of the diagnostic criteria. In adults with the condition, bipolar disorder is often accompanied by changes in cognitive processes and abilities. These include reduced attentional and executive capabilities and impaired memory. How the individual processes the world also depends on the phase of the disorder, with differential characteristics between the manic, hypomanic and depressive states.
Mostly, though, i recognize the symptoms due to ex gf having almost same type of shit. Talk to doctor about possibility of it. Try latuda, if actually diagnosed. Because you seem to have close symptoms to what she had and that she worked miracles for her
>>600431860 >We all refer to ourselves as "i". There is only one i, and it is everyone Nice try. "I" is the word to discribe one self in differentiaion of others. You're able to differentiate between, well, different substances, so there isn't just unity. You're just messing up narrative identity and numerical identity
>>600445284 Not really that new of a thought. All forces, interactions, and laws, as well as any perceived lack of consistency (or randomness), could simply be afforded via an intertwined relationship with something either apart from our universe, or outside of our faculty for thinking or measuring. We have a quantized perspective of reality after all.
Some of these systems, if there is a distinction to be made, could have different laws. Some deterministic / reductionist, some not, some something we cannot conceive. Who knows.
Even we ourselves are able be both viewed as wholes, or as parts. As is our composition, and even the broadest macro we can conceive of.
Either way. Good you wrote it down in an official way. Any time I've suggested the possibility people tell me I'm a fucking idiot or outright shut down.
I hate my personality, I know I should change and grow up. 22 and still do jack shit all day. I'm in college so at least I have that. But I don't know how to give up this easy life and become more serious about stuff, my dad thinks I'm a clown and he's right about that.
>>600432969 I hate to say that, because I used to be the same, but the only way to stop hanging around and achieve something is >getting one's lazy ass up and achieve something First step is the hardest and shit
>>600430736 Any standards you see out there is only the result of people doing what they are told is true and right. and the only thing that motivates us as humans is pleasure. It's sad that when you can consider yourself a "normal" person , you most likely wont accomplish anything remotely worth shit. Because of where you were born both in time and space.
What kind of science do you think you'll see before you die /b/ ? I'd like to see an extreme push in bionics.
>>600445631 I have a few ideas in mind, but it's pretty multifaceted. I feel like my head is full of walls at the moment, and what isn't is a corrosive haze where things go to fizzle away and dissolve into nothingness.
As a child (4 - mid teens) I had a lot of symptoms that would point to schzioaffective. Things were quite trippy. Mild hallucinations, (irrational) fears (I'd think things were watching me and trying to get into my head, as an example), panic attacks. Etc. My life was quite unstable, I'm not surprised I was afraid a lot, and learned to deal with fear quite quickly.
Figured out I had allergies some point along. Likely had chronically piked (and thensome) levels of histamine, both in the brain and otherwise. Lot of the mental clutter and anxiety got better at that point. Had mixed states starting in high school, have had episodes of hypomania as well, but they're very occasional and apt to leave me feeling a bit burnt.
Began to feel a sense of split consciousness and other things I can't quite put into words around the same time. Ended up building an internal framework to link these splitting ideas of self together so they'd share core memory / beliefs, if nothing else. That whole period is pretty hazy, I don't remember much. I don't know if I did it, had a choice of stopping it, or it happened on its own. [character limit]
>>600448437 A few interesting features. I have visual snow, which seems to have a few associated features clustered in these general areas, and recent studies show hypermetabolism in the left lingual gyrus and right anterior cerebellum relative to controls. The implication of that... I'm not sure. Too much caffeine tends to not sit well with me. Conversely, cocoa bean, both the solids and the butter / fatty compounds, works amazingly. I think it's a combination of the theobromine dilating blood vessels and raising cAMP in the prefrontal cortex, the anandamide, and probably the histamine release. Too much makes me sick, but just enough works wonders. I wish I had some now.
I'm much better off these days, but I'm hardly immune to mental collapses. Some of it I have to keep in the psychological abstract realm, some it I can tack down to a hard neurological quantifiable basis. There's an interplay there, somewhere. I think I invested far too much into learning how to control my state and emotions, not just suppressing but making myself feel and be what I wanted at the time. Perhaps this was a response to mixed states and rapid emotional / mental shifts, that more or less fuck you over at the wrong times. Additionally, the knowledge that you can choose to forget is more of a burden than memories themselves. [limit, again]
>>600448481 I don't know man. I'm a mess. Add in nerve pain (that became chronic when I was 17) starting when I was 12 or some bullshit, and other health problems, it's a wonder I kept going this long, and it's no surprise my mind split to deal with it either. I always had a tendency towards it, but living a double life like that, with all the wonderings, not knowing what's wrong with you, how long you'll last, where you're going to end up, it takes its toll. I just went on with my life and ddn't just act as though I was normal, I experienced myself as though I was. There was a rigid divide, but also a lot of spillover between the two. This division happened in more ways than one.
I don't think I can solve my problems. I need a change of scenery, bad. Get out of this stagnant, fucked life of mine. Only then can I imagine meaningfully chipping away at all of my shit on the psychological front, then I could see how much is strictly biological, where that delineation really lies.
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from them. If you need IP information for a Poster - you need to contact them. This website shows only archived content.
If a post contains personal/copyrighted/illegal content you can contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org with that post and thread number and it will be removed as soon as possible.