Images are sometimes not shown due to bandwidth/network issues. Refreshing the page usually helps. The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact. You are currently reading a thread in /b/ - Random
>at TENS in tuscon >cute brunette comes on stage >hippie-ish girl with the sublime sun tatted on her back >im a constructo wearing a t shirt jeans and drinking a budweiser >gets done dancing and comes to our table >wants to talk to me b/c she says i look like i smoke weed >umm sure
later seen some fattie who blew my coworker in the mall with both knees black and blue
>in Bangkok >in ladyboy strip club on soi cowboy >go for a piss >ladyboy comes in, looks over my shoulder while I'm pissing >s/he says "you want to come upstairs? I've got a room". >here we go.jpeg >pussy out and say something like "I've got to go" in this weird high pitched voice. >"Did 360 and walked away. >Fin
> fucked tons of bargirls in Pattaya > first time it was with a tiny, big titted, half chubby girl > couldn't cum as I've never been able to > third girl on the third night in my hotel room had the tightest fucking pussy ever > barebacked her and almost blew my load inside, pulled out at last second > HIV test negative when came back > awesome
Anyonr have any stories of fucking western strippers? I'm going to the states in April and really want to get with one.
>taking cab to strip club with friends >cab driver looks like large marge >she's funny as shit >she's seen some shit >tells us how she once convinced a drunk to tip strippers with loose change >see some young guy we kind of know in club >he's drunk as hell >tell him to make it rain >drunk wut mind >tell him make it rain means the sound of a bunch of loose change falling everywhere >bitches love making it rain >drunk friend reaching into pocket >oh my god >he's doing it >throws a handful of change at stripper >get to see someone literally thrown out of a bar
Another time I also saw a girl I went to high school with who dated one of my friends for a while. After the excitement of seeing tits wears off it gets sad and awkward real quick when you see them try to hustle some guy into a back room private dance.
I remember going to a strip club with my friend and I took $300 out of my account and got a $20 lap dance and when it was over I went back over to my friend and ended up getting another dance and when I went to pay I ended up dropping all of my money and a stripper helped me pick it up. After the dance was over I went to count my money and I was missing $200.
>>600625157 One better. Older guy I worked with and I hit a strip club. One girl on stage looked really familiar. He asks if the stripper's mother was named Laura. Stripper freaks out. Guy I was with went to high school with the strippers mom. He gave her $200 and got a VIP room. Told me her tits were just like her mom's.
> went to strip club with my brah > got steaming > got some tidy slags to give us a private double dance > mate stood up and ran out halfway through > I thought he'd realised he was a big fat gay boy > I stayed and finished the dance with my woman, felt good man > went to find friend once it had finished > found him outside pouring a pint of Guinness all over his hand > turns out he'd thrown up halfway through the dance, covering himself and the stripper > went outside to finish being sick, saw a pint of Guinness on a table, used it to wash his hands
>Last night >One of our last stops on an all-night bender >Coworker and friend take me out to a strip club for the fist time >We get a table, drinks, etc. >One steps out to take a call, the other to piss >I'm left awkwardly, drunk at a table by myself >Stripper walks over, asks if she can join me >-Shit, is this what's supposed to happen? >I agree, and she strikes up a conversation >After a bit, the server comes around, and very stone-seriously asks "Are you going to buy her a drink?" >-Shit, is this what's supposed to happen? >I say sure, fuck it >She gets a double shot of something >Shit cost $40
>Over time, the conversation turns from a conversation to a lecture, I can't get a word in edgewise as she goes on and on about some contest, and how she doesn't keep in touch with her dad anymore, and how she doesn't have any baggage (lol) >I ain't come here for this shit, I came to see some titties >At about ten minutes (and 2 more fucking drinks for the stripper), I look over, and my friends are at a stage, asscheeks clapping in their face, having a ball >One waves me over >I keep trying to excuse myself from the conversation, but she's on a tirade, and I can't interrupt her >Finally one of my friends gets a call from his wife, and he and his friend start to argue >I tell her I have to go check on them, and finally break the seal >Turns out the friend with the car needs to leave, so we have to come along
So, tl;dr I paid a stripper $120 to give her a therapy session. I was trying to be nice, I imagine they deal with shitty clientele regularly. I immensely regret it, as a lost opportunity
because you are married or attached and arent allowed to actually sleep with random women. and some random women have a problem with you asking them to dance naked infront of you while you have a perv. so we cut to the chase and go drop a tenner to have a beer with mates and look at titties.
>go to stripclub with thin shorts >get a 20 dollar dance from this sorta ugly chick but with huge tits >starts jacking me off but song/dance ends >decide to get another one from another chick >grinds on my fully erect dick for a while >fucking cum on my shorts >push her off >pay her the 40 bucks >asks "what about my tip?" >uhh >"ima go to the atm wait for me" >get the fuck out of there as quick as possible
>go to strip club with brother >I pay the entrance fee which is $50 >all of my money just to get in >brother goes off and gets a dance >leaves me by myself >strippers keep coming up to me wanting to give me a dance >act like a dumbass and say "I have no money" >watch nekid womenz on stage for 15 minutes >brother comes back happy as fuck >I start taking pics of nekid dancers Even now I fap to those pics
>>600626812 this is where the old art of negotiation comes in my friend. most of the time if its gonna happen they are gonna try and get you to buy a dance. then it might be another followed by a straight up offer
>be me >go to club with a couple of friends >sit next to one of the stages >start crinkling up bills and launching them at the stripper while she dances >one hits her in the face >get kicked out >Say sorry and ask to be let back in >get back in >start crinkling up more money and throwing them >get banned for life
I've got a friend who turns into a complete asshole when he's drunk, but hey, who doesn't? Anyways, were at the strip club and he's cool for a minute, but after a few shots he starts calling all the girls sluts. I then have to get between him and two giant fucking bouncers so he doesn't get his ass kicked, and we all end up getting kicked out. Sometimes it sucks being the most sober person in party/strip club fight situations.
>>600627413 in the private booth or whatever the fuck they have. this sparky told us about a club across town that was know for action. So much so when a gilr said she got harassed the case was dismissed because of all the different seamen samples in the room
>>600627940 If you're young and clean (shower at least five times a day over there, and once before sex) most girls wont even mention a condom (I fucked 10 grills, only one asked for condom). I had to remember to do it myself, and that one time I didn't use it I totally forgot. You should use one though...
I always thought strip clubs and people that frequent them were sad and pathetic. You're paying to see tits. That's no better than the fags who white knight on chaturbate and throw down $50 worth of tokens for a 5 second pussy flash.
And, yes, I kind of agree with the "women think their shit is so important" aspect of it. Try telling a girl she would look better without metal in her face or tats on her tits and see how long that conversation lasts.
>tactics strip clubs use to make money Cover or "mandatory drinks" charge Sending the fat/ugly girls to you asap (they have to actively try to make money for the club, unlike the hot ones, and that works best before you can immerse yourself in your surroundings) Getting a girl to talk to you until you give her money in some way or leave (strippers will do damn near anything for money before they'll actually strip) Cutting songs short or using abridged songs to shorten lap dances, a two minute version of Stairway to Heaven exists Offering consecutive lap dances because "they really like you" (they like the money you spend on more lap dances) Planting an undercover-type friendly guy in the crowd who suggests you should tip the stage dancer because she's "working so hard" etc.
>>600628571 Yeah I don't get it, why the hell would anyone be so desperate to just look at naked flesh? I mean, if I had to pay for porn I wouldn't bother, so why would you pay just for a girl to take her clothes off? I get that there will be people who claim that its better atmosphere than your typical bar, but those people are just fucking sad.
>In Cyprus >already pretty drunk decide to go to strip club down the street >20 Euros entry 2 free drinks and a free lap dance >Down my free drinks, stripper comes over takes me into a room >think, fuck yeah about to get my free lapdance >pulls my dick out starts stroking it "lapdance" ends >whispers in my ear "50 euros to finish" >got handjob >left
>go to strip club with friends >always bring my friend Shawn >pay for Shawn's way in >give Shawn money for girls >we all wait and watch Shawn as he is a total asshole to each and every stripper that comes up to him >"hey sweetheart, want a dance?" >he just makes a disgusted "ugh" sound >looks back at us and laughs >we all laugh >Shawn gets up and goes to the stage side seats >he sits down and pulls put the money we gave him >stripper comes on stage and shoves tits in his face! rides on him and really works for it >he puts a few dollars on stage and when she's not looking grabs a few back
>>600621747 I'm a very cynical person, and when i get drunk i don't smile and act like a fucking goof.
But on my birthday everyone was driving liquor into me, and trying to get me to be "that guy" and I just can't, I'm not huge on the going fucking 12 years old in a fucking bar.
But we were at the only strip club we have in the city, and to be fair they have some good strippers some times, but most of the time all you see is caesarian scars and it reeks of mother father disapproval.
My friends decide its time to go throw loonies at the strippers (its what we do here, and maybe all across canada), but again my face is completely straight despite me having a great time.
The stripper comes over to me as she's picking up her change with some teddy bear on a string with a magnet and bent down and said.
>>600621747 >be bartender >restaurant i'm working at is awesome >everything going fine for about five years >new girl takes over >feminazi takeover >bans some of my regulars for being loud and having a good time >these people RUN the neighborhood, this bitch doesn't even know >restaurant DIES with her in charge >bail hard and fast once I see it >need a job, fast, too, my lab job at the university doesn't pay dick and i like to do blow when i'm not doing research, it's a weird lifestyle... but i need money >get on local job hunt >find a job, no name, just and address, needs an experienced bartender that is used to being around hot women and can handle rowdy guys, seems like my shit >show up, strip club, no fucking way >go in >bouncer looks at me and runs me down the club rules, i'm like, "i'm here for a job..." >oh, head out back >okay, go out the back door >few thug dudes waiting >stripper on the outdoor pole >hang out for a bit and talk to people, only two of the three guys are there for a job, one is just chilling and watching the stripper... i don't tip her, but i do watch >interview, pretty standard, tell them where i worked, they know me, get hired on the spot >you start tomorrow night, show up a little early for the paper work, we'll get you started just backing for a night, but you'll get paid, just watch the bartender do his thing and you'll go live the next night
>>600628793 None of those things justify your actions. It came down to you being insecure. That's it. Politeness would be buying A modest drink, not anything she wants, but something. When do you go to any other place of business and just buy things for the staff? That's rubbish.
I hate to break it to you but homosex isn't as popular as you'd think, and it takes two to spread that shit. Also, how else do you think you get other infections from women? Through magic? Do you think that hole at the end of your dick has a seal on it until you blow, and that it closes as soon as you finish? But hey, think what you like, there's a reason tourists hit up third world countries and leave with diseases, and it's not cos they've been sharing syringes.
>getting lapdance from this qt dominican chick >cute face >dat ass >huge fake tits >bonerachieved.exe >grinding really hard >dick hard agaisnt her firm ass >turns around and asks me if "that" is me >i nod yes >she reaches back and grabs the head feeling all the way down to my balls >talk for a while after dance is over >gives me her number >never call her cause i was on vacation in that area >mfw
>>600629301 i'm not going to ask if you want me to continue, i'll just continue until someone tells me to stop
>>600629187 >show up day 1, dress up a little, i'm a fuckin' nerd (BS chem/math) but i'm good looking >try to rock a skinny rocker bartender look, look like a moron but no time to fix it >go in there >bar is absolutely empty >like, two strippers sitting at one end with cocktails, a dj moving some vinyl around, and a girl on stage... practicing? >girl on stage eyes me as i walk in, ignore her, walk to the bar and go directly behind it >girls at the bar start yelling at me that i can't be back there, look back and just smile at them >they're confused >dj walks over and he's like, "yo man, who are you?" >"i'm anon" >"oh word dawg (seriously how he talks), welcome to AnonXXX, anonbarguy is in the back, he'll set you up" >go to the back, pass a room on the way, no door, just girls, four hot (not gorgeous, it's the middle of the day) naked chicks putting on make up and laughing >go to the back, bartender is there, he tells me the plan, and that's how my first night goes, they let me off after about five hours with a, "you get it? good. you're on tomorrow, no backup." >sit at the bar to have a beer and watch the crowd >dancer walks over, "hiiii, i'm sandy (or whatever the fuck you want to call her)" >gives me a hug, welcomes me to the team, this place is super friendly >she tells me she's off, wants to talk, offers to buy me another beer and to kick it here for a drink >sure, i'm here >have a drink, she's flirty but in that stripper way >and that's it, and i go home
>Be at pub in down under. >Strippers there, one alright looking, the other.. eh >Play pool, hot one comes up and chats, ask her to buy us a round seeing as how the que is shit >Give her exact money, she goes around the bar, gets the drinks come back >Talk for a bit, slap her ass and she is onto the next customers >Eh one comes up and asks if i would like a private lap dance for $50.00. >At this point i am pretty drunk... without any hesitation i turn around and say your not worth it. >Bitch evil eyed me the rest of the night.
Two average strippers at my local want to fuck me.. nah. One hot one fell in love with me, unfortunately I had a good GF then so no deal.
In Berlin I blew a fair load of cash on the two hottest chicks in the club, got them drunk, and during the lap dances they were letting me suck their tits and finger-bang them. One offered to fuck for 200 euros, I didn't bite.
>>600629839 >show up the next night for my go-live shift (this is the real interview, there aren't usually second chances at cool places) >i'm a bartender, it's not a big deal, do my job, talk to the peeps at the bar, keep the girls drunk (but not too fucking drunk, get the customers drunk but if our girls get too fucked up to dance it's your ass, says the boss) >have a good night, make good money, feel good >close the bar down, clean up >girls and boss are all sitting at the rail >congratulations all around, apparently i'm better than the last guy they hired >girls respect me, boss is happy i'm working there >girls invite me out, "you're one of us now" >okay... >go out with them >hit another strip club where they know everyone >meet the bartenders and dj, make some friends, get shown around a bit, new circle is opening up >sandy is on my arm all night, she's like my personal hostess showing me all around this scene >i'm okay with that, she's pretty hot >we move on to the next bar, and the next one, and the next one >i'm a seasoned drinker, but this is pretty ridiculous >then one of the girls has a miraculous idea >let's all do some blow >they call a van cab, and apparently it's a driver they know, so we spend the whole cab drive doing bumps before we get downtown >in the heart of the city, club district >i've heard of these places, but i don't really do clubs... it's the same people you serve, they're all useless fucks >walk past the bouncers everywhere we go >they're buying rounds, i haven't spent a dime yet >i try to buy around for posterity and immediately get shut down, "you earn your money, we take ours, don't worry" >we get rounds for free a lot >i get a lot of bad looks from guys >i'm getting to know the girls, i kinda like most of them, they're all pretty vapid but a couple have college degrees if you count comm and social science >we keep taking shots, keep taking shots, doing blow in the bathroom BLACKOUT >wake up, ow my head
>>600621747 yall never gonna believe me but anyway >university student,halfway through,bad luck and chicken out with any potential crushes >as a result,no boobies touched.naked anyways >coldest night i ve ever lived in my country (-6 C) winter,january.After playing PES with a buddy he is all lets go to the stripclub >never done that!-Way better he laughs >We go >Sit in prime spot across the centre stage - around 30 other clients (one of em my professor) >Girls come and go,im in trance but i keep thinking "all that shit is fake" >Buddy isnt helping cracking some "imagine she hasnt wiped" jokes after a thong wearing lady comes and sits in my lap all fake flirty >im nope nopity nope in any advance for dance,drink or otherwise >then she enters the stage >a beautiful dark haired girl about my age comes and well she dances pretty well >sees the dumbfounded look on my face and not even looking back or around comes straight at me. >Cant even spell. >Sits on my lap barely even asks if i want a dance and starts rubbing herself on me dryhumping me,undressing and putting my face in her boobs whispering in my ear "lick'em" >"oh boy here i go" >median dance time:around 4 mins >she spends around 2 songs on me so probably more >Im so red and in awe that when she gets up and leave I dive under the table to get her one shoe she dropped and help her gather her bra some garter belt of some sort and shorts? >She looks at me very lovingly smirks and kisses me in the cheek >Buddy hysterical ...continues
>Bouncer in a strip club >Pay is shit but I get cheap drugs >Realize most dancers fuck for drugs and at least half are "escorts" >Start asking strippers if they want to "party" >Lived in the attached hotel, super easy to get them to come back to my room >Worked there for over a year, fucked about 20 strippers >The sex was all over the place, everyone was fucking weird compared to normal chicks >Fucked up fetishes, had a chick who liked piss in her mouth and nose and pussy and ass >Diapers, shit, daddy/daughter, crying fetishes >A few were normal but they still has issues >One came up every month and we would "have sex" all week, she would suck my dick, handjobs, foot jobs, I would eat her pussy and her ass but she would not let my put my dick in her pussy or her ass because it was cheating on her husband. >Last stripper I fucked like to be hammered in the ass while holding her head underwater
Then again I looked like a marilyn manson wannabe, tall, skinny, long hair, tons of tattoos, people said I looked like a smack addict. So I always managed to get the really fucked up ones, we tend to attract each other. Couple of other bouncers had normal sex with strippers
Let me reiterate I'VE NEVER BEEN TO A STRIP CLUB BEFORE
I don't know standard protocol; I never thought that was a situation in which I'd find myself. I didn't fucking study up for a trip to the strip club, nor did I have a chance; we kind of just went on a whim. I honestly never imagined myself going to a strip club.
>>600629011 at least this guy gave me something constructive to remember for future use
>>600630569 >struggling with the light coming in the window >struggling with the pain in my head >feeling like a bitch because i haven't been this hungover in a long fucking time >feeling a little confused because this is NOT my room >eyes fully open, mild panic mode wherethefuck >roll over a little too fast >elbow a ball of hair >it parts, there a girl in there >i don't know her >"hi" >"hey" >she says, "um, don't hate me, what's your name?" >"oh, thank god, you too.... you're hot, who are you?" >i'm friends with sandy >ok cool, when did you show up last night? >i don't know, but you were pretty hammered when i got there but i think i caught up way too quick, i always get too fucked up when i do coke >are you a stripper? >yeah >do you work at AnonXXX? >noooo, i used to but i got fired after i tried to beat the shit out of one of the girls because she kept trying to steal my regulars >(whaaaaaaaaat....) >oh, that sucks >nah, i got a new place, it's way better >so now what? >i dunno, i'll give you my number, we can hang out sometime? >sure, i'd be down, wanna go again? >she giggles and rolls onto me
>>600629854 No, I seriously think that the thin, flexible tissue inside your dick is not 8 inches up inside you, and that permeability is a real thing. I swear, if you think the penis is just a big solid structure then you're a fucking chump.
>>600630929 you're actually making our argument for us. the vast majority of "heterosexual" men who are HIV positive admit, under further questioning, to also having sex with men, but identify as hetero. (Which is why we call them MSM, as they aren't self-identified homosexuals, even if they engage in homosex.)
Most of the rest of them got it in prison (where shitty jailhouse tattoo needles give more dudes AIDS than rape does) or are IV drug users.
>>600629974 You realise that sucking tits and finger banging are things that are supposed to get girls off, right? You essentially spent a shit tonne of money to get someone else off and have nothing for yourself.
>>600630277 >Shawn is notorious for telling black strippers that they aren't his type >my friends and I all play a game where we all go to the stage and take a seat >we stay there as long as possible spending the least as possible >then we all leave as soon as any black chick tries to get on stage >so the stage goes from full to empty as soon as she steps on, it's hilarious to watch them lose composure
>>600621747 >went to club with friends >one was gay >not into the whole "look but dont touch" thing >not into what I cant fuck when they give that look/touch like they want too >gay friend mentions that they have an awesome buffet bar >go check it out cause Im tired of useless hard cock >buffet is fucking good >left that night with a happy belly and a sad penis >feels.jpg
>>600631109 >stripper girl has a coke problem >i'm trying to clean myself up >the last six months has been a blur of working, making money like crazy, doing blow, drinking >i quit my job doing research to pull overtime under the table, my brain feels like mush from doing the same shit every night >looking for new stimuli, start taking better care of myself, getting back into my working regimen >stripper girl is having none of it >she's actually borderline psychotic >her and the other girls all hang out every night, drink, do blow, sometimes they do meth, she thinks i can't tell the difference but when you come home and we hang out and you're in the living room for three hours and you're still fucking high, it ain't coke >work has been interesting lately, getting a lot of attention from some of the newer girls and i'm just playing it cool, like usual, not interested, not disinterested, availably unavailable >figure i can probably do better than this chick, so i break it off >she throws a fit, i do it right before i go to work so she can cool off for a while >i didn't know how deep the crazy ran
>middle of my shit, 3 hours deep of six total for the night >high volume night, i'm pouring shots faster than i can think, i'm pouring cocktails with one hand while stirring Manhattans with the other, who the fuck drinks Manhattans anyway, faggots >looking out over the sea of dudes, i see a face by the front door arguing with the bouncer >it's pointing at me >it's gesturing at me >the bouncer doesn't look happy >the bouncer isn't letting the face in and it's getting physical, i'm not wearing my radio because it was making me sweat so i just ignore it >face disappears >get off work late, took an hour and a half to clean up, fucking ridiculous shift, feeling pretty good as the girls and i spill out into the street, i usually walk them to their cars if the bouncers leave early, tonight is one of those nights and i don't mind because those dudes deal with some shit
>>600631190 lol "permeability." so when you're thirsty, do you pour water on your hand?
explain to me, exactly, how you think the tissue of the urethra ... I guess, soaks up (?) HIV like a sponge or something? let's assume HIV-infected vaginal fluid gets up in there, what happens next? are you assuming that the dude just pissed out ground-up glass and his shit is all bloody and scraped up?
>be Ausfag >weekend trip to Brisbane >smashing beers and tequila shots since 9am >go to shitty bar and have more beers >don't even know how I'm still standing >"hey let's go to the strippers!" >get in for free because some chick was with us or something >worst strippers ever >fat, old, stretchmarks, terrible implants >why.jpg >decide to play free pool terribly for the next half an hour >spilling drinks on table, ripping holes in the felt >friend whips out his donger behind the pool table and takes a slash under it >leave quickly >go to some other shitty bar/club thing in The Valley and steal pot plants, bar mats and a bar stool for my mates bar at his house
Yeah, most of the time. Some times you can hook up with the girls. Last time I went the stripper told me to wait for a minute after we were done. She left and came back with a piece of paper with her number on it.
She swore she didn't use drugs, didn't smoke, didn't drink, and was disease free. Naturally, I believed her. Then she said no sex on the first date. I never called her. She lived too far away, anyway.
>>600630858 >some girls pass by,buddy gets a lap dance and buys a drink to one cool girl, im not interested at any one >dont know how it works,so i kinda raise my hand as a student to the floor manager/whatever and ask for her to come at me >she comes like a gazelle in heat >she literally storms on me in the couch my friend sitting some 2 meters away laughing >She starts lap dancing,dry humping getting busy anyway >It feels great >2 song pass she keeps on going >intensifies >she starts rubbing her body against me,touching my penis,and kissing me at the same time >I feel awkward - my buddy spilled his drink when he saw her kiss me >she keeps on kissing me,now we kiss as she has her hands under my tshirt trying to reach my dick,I try to stop her tongue from invading in my mouth ,i am all like "gross how many have you kissed" >6 songs have passed by,we are in I dunno how to call it,wasnt dance towards the end >floor manager comes by,i see him with the corner of my eye as well as my buddy staring me like an alien >she is way to damn busy/horny/whatever to see him >he taps on her shoulder and pulls her arm >she says sth i didnt understand and stoods up and start gathering her things >I give her the chip (u had to buy chips from the bar to spend) for the normal dance,she flirtilly laughs and writes down a phone number on the back of a receipt lying by,she kisses me once more and leaves straight to the manager's room (was side to the bar with a one way mirror he was there most of the time) >buddy is trembling and vows he's never seen sth like this again (is a frequent client to stripbars not that one but in general) >I am like "yeah right..." >"they do it to every client for the money" >he says no!!! >i say "dont mess with me anymore man" >rip the receipt with the phone number apart" >he punches me in the shoulder i punch him back >we finish our drinks and leave in the cold night >.... >I 've gone another 10 times in stripbars never for sth like this to happen again
>took best buddy to strip club for on his 19th birthday >very new to it all >"excuse me, ma'am" >all dat shit >two strippers came to us both >£20 each for a dance >scummy student with next to no money >can only treat my friend to a dance >give one stripper £20 and send her off with my buddy >stand by the bar and wait for him >turns out some strippers are cunts >soon surrounded by strippers and a doorman >"why are you here and no getting a dance?" >"just getting my friend one, I can't afford one for myself" >"there's a cash machine (ATM) over there, check your account" >"erm no, still just waiting for my friend" >thinking 'fuck dis shit' so start to walk out >best buddy comes out from his dance >we leave, he seems different >forget about what twats they were inside and ask him how it was >he replies "fucking horrible" >"u fukin wot m8?" >"all I could think about was the fact that she is someone's daughter" >i wasted what little money i had on my buddy to get all emotional about fuckin strippers >whereas all i learned was that a lot of them are twats
>>600631923 >hear a yell, turn around >stripper girl is charging me and she looks pissed >tries to hit me >yelling match ensues >it was her that showed up, i tell her she's crazy >i tell her she needs to leave and i'll pick up whatever stuff i left at her place (nothing i can't live without) after she calms down a bit >she looks like she might try to stab me, she leaves >one of the girls gets out of her car, comes over >are you okay? >whatever, that shit is crazy >yeah, you wanna get a drink? >everything's closed, it's 4:30 am... >i mean, at my place... >oh >... >yeah, let's do that >go to her place, have a drink, try to be platonic because i keep thinking that the girl might be at my house waiting in my shower to cut my dick off when i go to take a piss >try to leave after the drink >she literally jumps in front of me >she's probably not going to let me leave >tells me not to talk >walks me to her bedroom >she strips naked, pushes me onto her bed >doesn't that crawl thing where they wiggle their hips as they crawl towards you >ends at my lap >not the best blowjob i've ever gotten, but she made the effort and i appreciate that >end up fucking her that night and again in the morning >tells me not to say a word about this at work because it's really not allowed
go to sleep
>wake up >text from ex, "you fucked cindy (or whatever the fuck you wanna call her), didn't you?"
>>600621747 Ausfag here >have bbq at friends house, drink far too many beers. We all go clubbing afterwards. Vodka redbull time. Eventually get kicked out for being too drunk, can't walk straight and have no idea what's going on. 3am, only place still letting people in are the strip clubs, go to one. So wasted end up shouting everyone lap dances. Next morning wake up, check bank account -900. >mfw
>>600632684 shit, you just realized that you have no fucking idea what you're talking about, didn't you?
now just imagine how much other shit you "know" that you actually have no fucking idea about. all those looks of disgust and contempt your friends and family give you make so much sense now, don't they?
>Best friend's birthday lets name him Bacon >Hang up with random friends and him to a bar >Between those friends there was my ex-girlfriend and her best friend. Lets name her BigHumps (exgf 9/10, her friend 8/10) >Two hours after drinking we were pretty drunk >"Hey, what about a strip club? could be fun" >Everyone says thats ok >Into the stripclub, we start drinking again >Now we are totally wasted >BigHumps says something like "i'd like to dance Rainbow Eyes" (If you dont know the song, search it before keep reading) >Ex gf said "Ya, that would be totally fun" >Im wasted at the point that im fainting in the strip couch >Out of the fucking blue the presentator went like this "And we have this random amateur girls, lets clap ExGF and BigHumps!!!!" >whatthefuck.jpg >Jump into the bar >Both exgf and BigHumps are poledancing totally naked showing anus and vagina. Disgusting but different to other shows >wtfimhorny.jpg >Pulled out my celphone >I get kicked out.
Was fun, but I missed the last part. Bacin said that my exgf planed that for me, and she fell down the stairs trying to walk with her panties between her legs.
>>600632547 >"fuck off, cool off, we'll talk in a few days, okay?" >"i'm at your place, open the door." >"no, go home and chill, seriously, it's 8 am, you realize this is insane, right?" >"i want to talk" >"no." >"i want to fuck" >"no." >"i'll let you do that thing where you fuck me in the ass and choke me..." (this is HER thing btw... i like pussy... she likes to feel degraded and apparently anal and choking are degrading...) >"no. go home." >text, not answering >cindy wakes up >looks at me, smiles, blushes a little and grabs my hand and puts it between her legs, she's soaked >fuck again >she's gorgeous in the morning, no makeup perfect skin cute as fuck with that sorta precious girl next door look and attitude >have to leave and get ready for work >we're gonna meet up after work again tonight >walk out to my car >tires are slashed >you have got to be fucking kidding me >this bitch is gonna pay for this shit >go to her house, figure if i do this right she can't get me arrested >
>>600632997 the story i'm trying to tell is that strip clubs are not magical special places where cool things happen. you pay chicks to get their tits out. then they go home and fuck their boyfriends or go apeshit and slash their ex's tires. they're all run of the mill crazy bitches in the end.
>walk to girl's house, about a mile away >front door is usually unlocked >go in, quietly, she's not downstairs, hear something upstairs, figure it's her >gonna sneak up on her and do... something, idk yet >go upstairs >open bedroom door
>>600632439 Number one reason that proves she was actually into you, they NEVER give pussy away for free unless they like you, numbers sometimes if they think you will be a big spender. So yeah, you blew it. Your buddy was just Jelly
>>600621747 >Go to strip club with friends >Sitting there looking at some titties on stage >Chick walks up and starts touching me >Ugly as hell and black >Tell her to go away >Keeps pushing ass against me >Smells like shit >Push her away >She stumbles >She walks away angry >Big guy calls me over and ask what happened >Say "she wouldn't leave me alone" >Guy say "man, that bitch is drunk again" >Guy walks away and I didn't even get a free drink
>>600633326 ohh I know now.But it's too fuckin late. In the end i only spend 2 simple dances chips,like 40$. I couldnt see any fucking reason she would be into me,but hell.. i still waiting for sth like this to happen with any girl i like so much at the first sight. >yep,forever alone
>Be me at university >Friends and I go out one night drinking heavy >Everyone is hammered >But decide to end the night at the strip club >We take a cab there and get in line, it was a busy night >Its loud and crowded, but we manage to get in >We don't see two of our friends follow us in >We ignore it and think they went to the bathroom >We start having a great time and forget about them >After thirty minutes we decide to go check on them >Can't find them anywhere >We are so hammered we go back into the strip club and guess they went back to the dorms >Next day I go to their dorm room and see one with a giant scratch across his face he had to get stitches for >Apparently they get in to a fight with the entrance bouncers >He got thrown face first onto the pavement and the other got arrested. >mfw I realized I nearly avoided disaster
You mean a lap dance area or champagne room? Some places have semi-private areas for regular lap dances. There's usually a lot more touching allowed in a champagne room and the bouncers don't bother you.
>>600633324 I can interpret them just fine. To be honest, you basically sound paranoid, which is fine. But "high risk" is not "any amount of risk more than zero." You probably think going outside in a thunderstorm puts you at "high risk" at getting struck by lightning. And yes, people do get struck by lightning. But to call it a "high risk" activity is disingenuous and borderline laughable.
>>600633304 >not the girl. >not a girl. >really big dude. >like, waaaaay bigger than me, and he's looking right at me >uh oh >he yells, i run >i make it to the top of the stairs and he's right on me >down the stairs, he jumps to... flying kick me? or something, misses and puts a foot into the wall, falls >i make it to the front door, open it and see her walking up the driveway >she smiles immediately, like i'm here to take her back, then realizes i'm running from dude >she runs past me and tries to stop him, then tries to stop me from leaving >and i narrowly avoided getting my ass kicked by some crazy stripper's new dude, or brother, or something, i never got the rest of the story
>i kept the job for about six more months, dated the new girl the whole time, and then got back into university research >broke up with the girl after a while to date a cute little lab tech who's trying to get into med school >got a job at a biopharma lab and have been pushing tubes for the last few years there >i'll never work in a bar again, sometimes i go to that strip club because i know everyone that matters, it's still fun
>>600633630 the point is that there IS NO GOOD PART strip clubs are places where guys go to get what they can't get otherwise girls is girls, bro
there's no dinosaur, there's no bullshit, no bad ending just banged a few strippers, even had a threesome with two of them, but that's it. you could get that at any job if you did it right, strippers are only slightly more apt to participate in activities like that because they're more likely to be exposed to the possibility.
fuck man, most strippers in Portland are lesbians anyway. It's kinda awesome, go to a strip club on an industry night and there will be dancers watching dancer yelling about how they wanna see more pussy during the first song.
>>600633692 Fuck no man, go to plenty of fish or tinder, find a nice chubby, even a fatty, dont mention sex, make her laugh, ask her to watch a movie, say some bs like all you really miss is cuddling and watching a movie, get her over and put her legs across yours, start rubbing the inside of her leg and slowly move up, never touch her pussy but get close, take your time, try to wait near the end of the movie. By the end she should be wet and ready to fuck, start kissing her and then ask her to "cuddle in your bed". Rinse, Repeat.
Fucked like 60 diff chubbys/fatties this way, even fucking manned a few harpoons along the way. Skinny bitches just have to many people, that have more money running game on them, fat chicks love the attention.
Same thing happened to me. Got 2 dances from a chick. She starts kissing me, grabbing my dick, etc. Ends up giving me 5 more dances for free. Starts asking me questions like "how many kids do you want?" I freaked because had just found out my brother unexpectedly got some chick pregnant. So I left. Went back a week later when I calmed down only to find out that she had been fired earlier in the night for throwing a bottle at someone.
>>600634458 >>600634575 Yeah see i like bigger girls, chubby is the best, but Im not too picky, pussy is pussy and i like em pretty big too. But plumpers are the best, like the kind you see in the chubby threads, smaller waist but still a little tummy, big tits and ass. They have to have a cute face too, ugly is ugly. Also, no one will fuck a fat girls with no tits and ass.
>>600621747 >go to strip club in munich with a friend >drink a few pints getting kinda tipsy >felling generous buying me and my friend each a private show >I just sit there and watch >touch here and there. nothing outrageous >be finished and wait for my friend >finally he comes out of the booth >a few mins later club manager angrily walks up to the dancer my friend had >throws a used condom in her face >this club doesn't allow to actually have sex with the dancers >obviously my friend had banged her >screams at the dancer that she's fired for good >friend casually walks up to her and say 'fuck it, let's go clubbing' >we take the now unemployed hooker to the next club >friend and she are going at it again on the train, inside the next club, anywere >feel kinda left out >drink a lot because fuck it >my memory starts getting hazy here >fast forward to next day around noon >wake up under a bridge next to a trainstation >mobile phone not to be found >no money left >go home >friend left a message on the answering machine >'dude, you were totally drunk yesterday.' >'you lost your pants and crashed down the stairs into some other people.' >'bouncers threw you out and you were gone' >tell myself to never do anything like that again.
Used to leave work and go to a full nude strip club, didn't get too many dances but I tended to see the same couple girls pretty regularly. One of them, slightly chubby, cute, seemed to like me. One night she asked me to take her home but I was married so I declined. I regret that sometimes. She used to come sit with me between stage dances if it was slow.
>be me >be medfag >go to strip club for the first time >full nudity club >buddies pay for me to get a lap dance >while grinding 8/10 stripper asks what I do >tell her I am medfag >she gets excited and has her bald vag less than six inches from my face >tells me she used to work at a hospital but had to quit >because they kept making her empty colostomy bags (shit pouches) >laugh hysterically causing me to lean foward and hit my forehead on her vag >this makes me laugh uncontrollably which ends the dance >no more lap dances for me
> Bachelor party for friend at same strip club as above > Hot as fuck girl comes and sits with me, buy a dance > Making a lot of eye contact instead of just looking into her cunt and at her tits > She gets done, starts cozying up to me instead of moving on > Stays and talks for a long time, party comes to hustle me out and back on the party bus > She tries to keep me back and says "I knew you were in a band" after I explain otherwise > Assholes drag me out
I have no idea why, but I seem to be popular with strippers in spite of not dropping more than a dance or two worth of money on them.
>Turn 21 >Pass gentlemens club on the way to work everyday >Go with brother and his friend >9 people in there >1 bartender >2 fat, balding middleaged overweight guys, probably from /b/, probably here right now >Us 3 >6 chicks that were pushing 300 >Smells of bacon and rotten cheese in here >Never gone to a strip club since >Thought still makes me cringe
>strip club in Ohio >get horned up, dj announces 2 for 1dances and a free polo shirt with the club logo on it for ten minutes >nowaygottahaveit.png >hurry to atm, bumping into people. Dancer stands in front of me, holds her hand behind her back for me to put my cock in it >I'm visiting from the coast, and my ATM card is rejected >I leave, pissed >I get in my car and wonder why the hell I wanted a sleazy strip club polo shirt anyway
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