help /b/, i -no joke- have a dildo stuck up my ass. i don't want to go to the hospital, that'd be embarrassing as fuck.
i don't have access to any cameras atm, but i have a picture of it from the mfr. website
this might sound weird but....
1. you need to find the biggest fuker you can find and put it up ur bum
2.Make urself gape like you have never gaped before
3. Stand up.
If your problem isnt fixed now then I cant help you
OP here, I just pushed it ultra hard along with using 4 fingers to spread my asshole and it came flying out my ass onto the floor
sadly it broke in half when it hit the floor, gonna have to buy a new one
thanks for the help guys
i once had a carrot stuck in it for three days before i went to the doctor
probably one of the most embarrassing minutes of my life, if not the most embarrassing.
it's fine though, the proctologist said they get people with dildoes or vegetables multiple times a week.
i don't understand how it got stuck though, did he just put it in too deep and has sphincter closed around it?
we need either a photo or a description of exactly what kind of stuck it is before we can help the situation
Not the real OP.
I'm OP and it still in there good.
I'm thinking about putting glue on the end of my other dildo and pushing it up till its sets so I can pull them both out as one.
won't do, this is a medical situation and we're going to need an actual pic, with timestamp, shoe on head or sharpie in pooper.
I am a self-proclaimed proctologist and anal cavity exploration enthusiast, I know what I'm talking about
Imagine how immensely satisfying it must've been to finally get that out.
>had a pingpong ball stuck there once...
what the fuck?
Psycho Bobby Penis Loves You Hun
yes and also the history of anal insertions. the american navy actually invented the butt plug as a way to hold sailor's shit in due to prolapsing after too much sex with the bunkmates.
>get LOADS of lube, put your fingers in to pull it out, had a pingpong ball stuck there once... Just use lube and take your time.
Son, I Am Disappoint
I don't know what else to call it, I use it.to pick up pickles from the jar.
> pic related, it's a pickle picking up thing.
You seems to be skilled in this subject.
>If you can't pull it out your ass, try it the other way.
1.Get another one and use it to push the first one forward.
2.Continue insterting another after another until you beat all seven meters of guts.
3.When the first dildo reaches your stomach you're almost done.
4.Put your entire fist in your mouth.
5.The gagging reflex makes you vomit the first dildo.
6.Realise you now have guts filled with dildos.
7.Insert another dildo to push the other ones forward.
8.Realise you are an infinite loop of dildos.
9.An hero by belly dancing.
Do not put glue in ur ass u idot.
Please dude ull smear that stuff all up in ur asshole and then u gotta go to the hospital anyway. If lube and pushing doesnt work GO TO THE HOSPITAL!!!
One trip to Taco Bell, and you're done...
Get a black powder bullet puller. That's a screw thing on the end of a long rod, kind of like a corkscrew.
Screw it into the dildo and pull.
Possibly a group activity already in San Francisco and the East Village.
a schematic of the glue operation and the alternative with a pointy object
this will work, but 7 meters is only the large intestine, it gets a lot trickier when you reach the small intestine. I personally suggest using a vacuum to suck the small intestine into the large one, around the dildo(s). this way once you remove the vacuum from your rectum, the dildo gets dragged along as the small intestine naturally reshapes into its original position.
After the glue attempt, the second ones not coming out any further, nor going in any further, and I'm not even sure whether it managed to actually stick to the first dildo, because I can't fucking pull it out.
I've made a terrible mistake.
Go to the hospital or your intestines will explode and you will die, as long as the doctor isn't a jesus fag he'll be like "Aww sheet mang, that's gotta suck, I'll pull dat shee out with a catgrabber.
I think maybe just glued around my ass hole, but I don't know, I hadn't thought about the inside getting glued.
I fucking hope not.
That wouldn't really happen would it?
Surely it's wet in there.
Mate remember what happened the last time u had a bright idea? Yea u glued up ur asshole and maybe even the inside. So stop being an idiot and get that shit removed. Man its not worth to get seriously injured over a bit of embarassement. And u can just go inside asking for the proctologist...
I hope you die OP you retarded faggot
Holy shit OP, get your sister to remove it for you! That'll be like, the biggest incest win ever."Yeah one time I glued a dildo into my asshole and my hot nurse sister took it out for me and we decided to take turns with it afterwords."
Ok I've run into a problem guys. I put the glue on the second dildo and tried to have it set, but I think it's glued to my rectum because it won't come out and feels really strange.
dudes, he glued his asshole shut with 2 dildos in it...what happens if he has to fart or shit?
Hi anon from halfway through the thread, welcome to the end of the thread, WHERE THAT ALREADY FUCKING HAPPENED!
This is a serious issue, and I don't need some faggot trying to samefag me, I need ideas how to get these fucking things out.
Well, either get ready to be embarrassed, or die of a ruptured intestine and have them find out anyway.