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Post No. 601563095
I'm fucking done..
>be today in the kitchen
>Whenever I get up to get a snack I like to pretend I'm a ninja
>If I go up to get a bagel I pretend I'm using my, "Ultimate Nutella spreading jutsu."
>Whenever I get a banana I pretend it's the, "Banana of fate."
>It's a funny habit that I've been doing ever since I was a kid, never really grew out of it
>This time I go to get an apple
>This is no ordinary apple! It's Madara Uchiha's apple!
>Engage combat mode! Stat!
>Apparently I thought it would be funny if started to slice it mid air with a knife but I kept missing so what do I do when that happens you may ask?
>Do I reasonably stop playing the game and just straight up eat the fucking apple? No.
>Do I take the knife and respectably cut and serve it like a normal person? Nope.
>"You are a strong opponent, Madara! But let's see how you like this!"
>I take the fucking knife.... and stick it in my ass.
>"ASS APPLE... BARRAGE!"
>I start stabbing the apple with my ass knife, soon enough all that remains is what was left of a violated monstrosity of an apple.
>I take the knife out of my ass, it has shit all over it, "He was a most admirable foe."
>Then I hear a cough right behind me
>My mom is standing right there with her tea and has a look of utter shame and disgust
>I make eye contact with her for a good 12 seconds before I fucking book it to my room
>I'm locked in here and I haven't heard a word from her
I think I might be kicked out soon...