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>driver for Pizza Hut >some guy calls in a delivery >show up to his house >cop car in his driveway >"lol whatever" >guy opens the door >signs his receipt >"You smell like alcohol, son. Let me give you a breathalyzer test or I'll call your manager." >"Ugh, okay." >get tested by this customer >fail miserably >he calls my manager and then arrests me
>uni gap year >soul crushing job as a cctv operator >max boredom >autistic overlord that would watch hours of recorded footage for no reason >night shift >smoke weed and fall asleep at controls >wake up >see full blown riot in middle distance on high street >zoom in >missed part where cop gets stomped and becomes a tard >no conviction >'it's all your fault anon, gtfo.' >bye bye worst job in world
>mcds >17 >manager always yelling about how tomatos not properly placed on bun >one day I put too many tomatos on for shits and grins >loses his shit >tell me im worthless >say nothing >throw hat in deep fryer >leave >burn uniform with gas when I get home
>go in to put my two weeks in for work >been real tired of this movie theater for a while >go in at 11, only one manager and two closing staff >walk through the door, instantly verbally assaulted by manager for another employees mistake >nod, let it go >get to the lounge where I was going to pick up the schedule >over a dozen passive aggressive memos from managers posted around the lounge >get tired of it in that moment >rip them all off the walls, toss them >flip table >spit in managers tervis cup >walk out, tell them not to reschedule me didn't really get fired, just quit before I would've been surely fired
bomber pilot in austria big air show in salzburg drop fake bomb for show hit old man becaouse of wrong wind parameter head crushed people scream and shit leave plane with hot seat plane crash into local airport tower no one was harmed left austria
>be me working at Target >was taking a lot of painkillers >hadn't shit for 3 days >realize my body is insisting that I shit >i can't hold it, my body will not allow me to >it's either my pants or the toilet >go to the handicap bathroom, more privacy >something evil is lurking in my rectum >it's been harnessing energy for 3 full days >one end turtles >my rectum is already in pain, i can't take it for much longer >incredible journey as i reach 1/3rd of the shit >suddenly i get it a little further out >making progress, slowly but surely >i hear from right outside the door >"oh my god what is that smell?" >they spray a bunch of air freshener around the door >some of it actually recoils off the floor and goes in my shit pit >god dammit >recognized one of the voices, it was a really cute co-worker >FUCK >i push a little harder >shit violently escapes my ass in one thick long log, my brain is overloaded with pain >ass bleeds >swear I saw an apparition of my self telling me to take a stool softener >somehow through all of this i've developed a boner and pre-came a little >what the fuck is wrong with me >i flush >it doesn't flush >"fuck this" >leave bathroom, looks like no one notices >walk around like i've won the lottery >suddenly realize my asshole is more or less gaping from my shit >i'm just leaving a shitty smell trail everywhere i walk >go to axe aisle, make sure no ones around >spray in my pants, spread cheeks and spray asshole a little >forgot my ass was bleeding >immediate regret >pain subsides >cute co-worker comes up to me >"hey anon, are you okay?" >"y-yeah" >i walk away >go home without telling anyone >never go back
>retail worker >Store GM is massive faggot >Is shit at his job >Constantly makes mistakes and never gets shit because plebs take the blame for him >these plebs then get promoted >store is a clusterfuck due to this shitty management >GM tells me I don't do enough work >spend my entire brake writing a letter of complaint about him >Manager hands it to GM >Turns out the letter had been passed around the entire store, everybody agreed with what I wrote >GM rages so hard he cant even talk to me >spends the next 4 months trying to sack me >I leave before he has the pleasure
Didn't really get me fired but it was worth it, that little cunt hasn't done an honest days work in his life and now everybody that didn't know does.
I'm getting fire for a stupid fucking reason. Because I have keys to the store and i'm usually the only one there until at least 3pm. I smoke cigs i'm a fiend for nicotine.. anyway I go and smoke sometimes when were dead and let myself back in the secured area (we got bullet proof glass everywhere) with my keys.. Well they don't like that. and so they are going to fire me because of it. without warning.
5 years ago, i was washing dishes in a fucking shitty pizzeria. I fucking hated that place and all the people who worked with me. I knew the boss girl since highschool, so one day I invited her on a date, got her fuckin drunk as hell and fucked her hard. The next day when I came for working my boss started to shitblast me shit like always, so I said to him that I fucked his girl in the ass, and she was moaning like a fucking monkey, and that his fucking pizzeria is the owrst fuckin shithole in the word. then I joined the army and my life went better.
>Pizza hut worker >Be working with dbag driver as i am cook >Come from back after restroom walk in freezer door flies open >Stick boot out and hands up make it come to imidiate stop >He gets wind knocked out of him >threatens me wont stop after 10 mins i say ima leave manager, she says ok >leave get call to come back >come back to talk about it and he starts again >He calls cops on me lies said i threatened with gun >Cops brutally slam my ass against car ground search car find nothing >give me a wreck-less operation ticket (beat the ovi cuz i had mouthwash in my car i stay at friends homes and have decent hygiene) when i wasnt even driving >I refuse to sign go to jail get ass beat and tazed for head banging to Metallica on the jail tv >get out and find out i am fired for threatening employees and being drunk >wtf wasnt even drunk didnt threaten have vm showing i was called to come back but still fired >Call gov get unemployment for wrongful termination and show their lies. >I win and get school grants and unemployment now
Still never got final paycheck mailed to me though and am banned from calling the store or going there
>>601855297 Writing "clean me" in marker on a stainless steel table that nobody cleaned the day prior, to me working. I almost got fired, but I spit on the table and smeared it off with a rag when my manager turned his back for a second. "There, it's gone" And I walked away.
> be me >1985 >work at nice mine, not very hard work. >one day mine allows women to stat working >me and a some co workers get all pissed >Women are stealing jobs from the men. >about a month or so later >they start putting porta janes in the mine >Laststraw.gif >we wait till 5/10 chick goes to bathrrom >Starting rocking porta jane back and forth >The chick is freaking out >Suddenly, the douches and the other end let go >Portajane falls over Shit and blue water all over chick She goes home, never comes back >mfw fired >mfw Company Sued >Mfw north country
I lost my job as a bus driver in the UK a while ago. >Be me driving the bus >Banging headache, huge argument with wife >Bunch of chavy 15-18 year olds get on >One of them doesn't have any money, I tell him he can't get on the bus >"Oi fam let me on I'll pay back 2morrow I swear fam" >Tell him no, rules are rules >the little ratty shit starts getting of the bus giving me lip, saying "I'll sort you out absolute wasteman you got a shit job ect." >Seriously not in the mood for this bullshit >His mates are sitting on the bus yelling at me to let him on >I get up and shout at chavshit "No I don't give a fuck about my job, you fucking come on this bus and sort me out, You fucking try you little cunt" >He's baffled obviously wasn't ready >I start getting off the bus and he fucking legs it >Get reported that night by somebody, the way I reacted to the situation was against protocol >Get my ass fired
It's fine, I've got a better job as a security guard at the local college
>>601862609 I always just say "Attending school" for mine.
I was on Coursera and watching free lectures on Youtube most of the time anyway. Though it annoys me to know that if I had had the money to attend those schools and actually turn in the classwork the real students got, I'd have a bachelors in neurobiology by now.
I got fired from Walmart for harassment >be outside chatting with the boys on break >woman walks up >we're cussing up a storm >"please don't cuss around me i get offended" she says >"oh sorry' I say >go back to chatting up with the boyzzz, still cussing >"please don't say those words around me" >I reply "what words do you not like? shit motherfucker shit ass tits cunt cock nigger?" >she has no reaction >next day boss calls me to the back room >apparently I was reported by her >get fired for harassment
>stupid as shit for driving drunk >even stupider for consenting to a breathalyzer to an off-duty cop whom you're delivering pizza to.
And this is why you're an alcoholic pizza-deliverer. Just smoke some weed every couple hours on your shift, stash your shit in the parking lot. You're stoned for your trash-tier menial job and you can't get in trouble.
I have never been fired, though, I've done some weird shit.
>be 17 >go to boarding school >always thought that jokes involving poop was the funniest >have hidden talent >dead skin always amass in my gluteal cleft (ass crack) >peel the dead skin off by rolling it into a little black hard piece of the remains of skin, shit and hairs >so keke, holy fuck >i collect these black berries in a zip-bag that carries a horrid smell of poop and mold >6 months passes as i collect >the bag has been replaced by a bigger and i got a plan of what to do with it >intentionally i wanted to put them in the dough of the morning bread, but it ended up in the friday-burgers. At mealtime the entire school, including teachers, students, the kitchen staff, prehaps even teachers kids, would gather to eat together. >i sneak it in while the kitchen staff had lunch, also that week i was working in the kitchen fuck greentext, the pic is me
>>601861100 Fuck. Reminds me of when I got out of jail. I didn't shit for 6 days because of the food. 6 days. I don't shit for like 3 more days. When I finally do. I lost 7lb's, and gained a wider bootyhole.
Working on the computers for a postal office. In a small window of opportunity where I was left alone in the office, I took the kettle into the adjacent toilet and took a sneaky shit in it. Finished up before the ultimate paper-cut-whinging faggot squad came back. MFW they smelt it as soon as they walked in the door. Literally ran away when they were 'investigating' (Yes, I am a retard)
>>601855297 >Limousine driver for spoiled prom queens >one night 2 girls and 3-4 guys enter drunk out of their minds BEFORE the party they were headin to >they mess with the driver window all the time and throw garbage in my neck >i get pissed off >stop the car.. Open the passanger door, pull one pizzaface spoiled brat motherfucker out of the car and give him a few punches to the face >they report that >i get fired >no charges against me >everythingwentbetterthenexpected.jpg
Worked as a customer service rep taking calls for net2phone / penny talk. Boss said hey you have to take this next call you can't hang up on him because he knows the DA and is threatening to sue the company for his calls not connecting. Dude is a full on asswhole but we have no choice.
I took the call, listened to him bitch for 30min and call ended. Corporate refused to handle this and made us handle it. So after that bull shit I started stealing credit card info, Fucking people's accounts up if they were pissy just shutting the account off, then just played web games and wouldn't answer the phone for entire shifts. About 5 weeks into that they fired me for call avoidance and walked me out. I don't regret shit either. I also faked my sales numbers to win a contest while there for 100 bucks. They also gave me a free Xbox for another contest. It was worth it lol
>my first job >1999 >work after high school for gardening shop >place sells soil, fertilizer, gardening supplies, plants, etc. >manager cunt is a hippy dippy space case fuck face feminist wannabe >pay is garbage, $6.50 CAD / hour >work itself was ok, easy-ish, boring, whatever >one day manager says "we need to have a talk" >sits down in office, tells me I don't love plants enough >plants need love to thrive >my eyes roll back and I think about bacon while she talks >she is annoyed because I'm not paying attention >"anon, get with it or you're outta here!" >I say "yes ma'am" and go back to work >actually try to tend to plants more and whatnot >I actually like gardening, I grow lots of smoke-able plants >doesn't matter that I took her advice, she is mega cunt >weeks pass and she treats me like garbage more and more >shitty tasks, annoying condescension, emasculating quips >miserable.png >one night I use keys to open outside gate >disable alarm system >open every bag of soil and fertilizer inside main building >bring in hose, turn on >leave, never go back >entire place filled with liquid diarrhea mud, everything completely ruined >got arrested, no money and faggot parents so no help >underage so no criminal record >mfw everything went better than expected >fuck that bitch
> be me, Pharmacy Technician > start at compounding pharmacy. > fucking dream job. 9-6, m-f, $11.75 > be new and slow trying to get the hang of things > old guy as boss. Gets mad at me one day for not being nationally certified. > mfw that wasn't part of the prerequisites, asswipe. > week passes, I have to go home because bad panic attack. He gets mad. Wtf am I supposed to do? >Another week passes. Wants me to prepare compound. > "I can't. I'm allergic to menthol. I told you this in the interview." "Well then why the hell did I hire you?" "Ill make it but you're paying my hospital bill." We both get mad and I go to the back and get high on my .5 mg ativan prescription (took 4mg worth) > Few weeks pass. Gets mad at me for touching the thermostat. Its fucking 80 in there and I'm boiling. > getting better and faster. > calls me on labor day "I don't think you're a good fit. You don't have to come in anymore." >Whatever. File for unemployment and win. Was willing to go to court to get it. > mfw I had my dream job and lost it cuz I couldn't match his speed. Whatever. Ill apply again when he dies. All my coworkers were mad at him for firing me.
If you need a compound filled in ft wayne indiana don't go to medicine chest.
>/b/ me >first day at call center >setting appointments for chiropractor >keep getting hung up on, and various nasty scenarios >people are assholes >getting pist >next lady be like "i dont believe in chiropractors." >alright fuck this job >"Well, ma'am, they're real, IVE SEEN'UM" >boss directly behind me >lasted a whole hour before being walked out >best check ive ever cashed at the local check cashing place
>be me >2004 >working in a blockbuster >shit job for even shittier pay >90% of the customers are regular returning ppl >one giant duchebag (customer) always threats me like shit, complains about anything and threatens me to call manager whenever i even try to argue with him >enough_is_enough.jpeg >weeks later his kids showup to rent some disney shit >put gayporn dvd inside and feel like a devil >realize this will get me fired as the manager already doesnt like me, so decide to push it up a notch >open faggots account and add few more movies to it as "never returned" >all porn titles >2 day later manager calls me and tells me i am fired and shouldnt come to work anymore
>Get a job at wally world >Was barely trained, just rolled with co-workers and asked them >2 Months in >Getting the hang of things >Have to stock 10-15 Pallets of stuff with a coworker every night, so job isnt that easy >One night get stuck on dairy/deli/etc >Go to stock the eggs >A whole pallet of eggs is smashed, egg shit ALL OVER THE PLACE >Try to tell my supervisor >She blows me off >Ask Coworkers >Continue stocking from the other eggs we had >Later that night >Supervisor shows up in a fucking rage >Say i tried to tell her, and asked everyone else. But we we're very busy and didn't have time >Get fired for it >She tells me im not fit for any job in the store at all(Your a piece of shit) >Call her a belligerent cunt who can't even line up duties properly for $15 people >Walk out >Get a job at a local gas station run by family friends and locals entirely >Piss easy >Coworkers are cool >Mfw it pays the same >Turns out she tried to make a 8 month pregnant employee lift a large pallet alone >She was suspended for it
Fired for off-duty hi-jinks that got posted to interwebz
> riding bus in Chico, California with buddy filming > we sit in the back and start making fun of drunk retard guy > Me: what is your destination sir? > Retard: Going to QWERTY to see my mom. What are you guys up to? > Me: We're going to QWERTY to get a piece of ass. > Retard: (offended & pointing to camera) Does that record sound too? > Me: Yeah, we're gonna film a bunch of dumb asses for a video. > He challenges me to a fight. > Bus stops at 1st & Main > We square off > Retard: Are you Joe Frazier?? (kicks me in leg) > KO his drunk retarded ass with one punch > Nigger comes up and threatens me. Hippie tells me I suck.
15 minutes later all 3 of us are back in the same seats on the bus and the retard has a shiner where I clocked him.
Buddy edited and posted the video. I was proud of my one punch KO until it got popular, boss saw it and fired me from my job as a security guard. . . "I can't have a guard who goes looking for trouble."
>Be working job I loved >Really stormy one day >Can't get car out of driveway >Call coworker to pick me up >His car stuck too, getting a ride with boss >"OK pick me up along the way, you gotta drive past my house anyways" >Getting my boots and shit back on >Open door to go meet them just as company van drives by >Didn't even stop to pick me up >lol ok ill take the day off and sex gf and play vidya >Get called half an hour later >"Why didn't you make it to work Anon? >"WTF bitch you were supposed to pick me up, you drive right past my house as I was going out the door" >"Don't bother coming in anymore, you don't work here anymore" >mfw >Lol at her on the phone and hang up >Next day calls me in to go back to work
Not me, but my ex got fired for an epic klutz rampage
>was working at Tim Hortons >floor had just been mopped >she slips on the floor >falls into the the Timbit bin >somehow gashes her arm open on the side of the bin >bleeds all over the timbits >goes to get a towel to wrap her arm >slips agains, sprays blood into the fryer >panics, tries to scoop the blood out of the fryer with the basket (she thought she'd be able to get the blood out so they wouldn't have to drain the fryer to clean it) >fails, splashes hot grease all over herself >drops the basket, spills grease everywhere >panics, slips on the grease and falls THROUGH a drywall wall >manager comes in, blood and grease everywhere and a huge hole in the wall >fires her
That was her last strike because she'd unknowingly accepted 200.00 in counterfeit money a few days before.
Not fired, but my boss will ever discover my secret I will be fired and put in jail for long time
I’ve been working as a police officer. But the truth is I never got a degree. I lived on the streets as a criminal. Then I just went to the police office to get free food in the cafeteria. Nobody cared, since it was a big office they didn’t know everyone so they just figured I worked there. As soon as I came every day I started talking with other officers who worked there and pretended to also be a cop. As I talked I learned a lot about the job so one day I decided to steal myself a uniform. I told the chief I didn’t get my wages and made a story about my files were lost and so they “re-made” me a police officer. Turned out I’m a pretty good cop. I done many Interrogations, arrested people and even fired some. Also making a good buck out of it.
>be busboy at restaurant >Coastal Tourist town in summer >girls on vacation everywhere >sell them weed >get blown >one day go too far >back room where they keep bread and other shit >take some girl there while I am working >smoke some strong shit >Start messing around >End up fucking her >slamming it home balls deep >door busts open >it's the owner of the restaurant >she's yelling at to close the fucking door >he flips his shit grabs me >drags me out the back >I'm fired >some fuckers snap pics of me with my dick hanging out and laugh
For some reason, I had a Viagra level boner for an hour after that experience.
>"am i being iced out? after all the shit i did? are you seriously trying to ice me out so you can take on [name redacted]'s little bitch? dude i knew you were a piece of shit but fuck you... seriously"
>>601855297 >boss is a constantly drunk 23 yr old female >be 24 >we go out drinking after work alot >shes qt, but sleeps around all the damn time >get drunk enough >bang her >shes passed out all day >playing fallout nv >refuse to give her ride back to her house as im busy playing fallout >get fired > :( sad thing was this was only like a week ago
>Be me, working for amusement park's Halloween attractions >This is my third year working, and I know my way around stunts >Come in high almost every shift to get dressed up and scream at people >One day, people in my haunted house plan a drinking party on shift >Bring in plastic bottle full of shit vodka >Pass through pleb security and start drinking before we are set to scare >Assfag reports us for having alcohol >Half my haunted house is drunk off my supply >Escorted to park security room by 10 security fags >Grill us all for 30 minutes, asking where bottle came from >Nobody breaks. >Tell us to breathalyze or forfeit our jobs >MFW not 21 >MFW drunk as fuck >Refuse to blow and get fired. >8 out of 12 people in that attraction got fired cause they drank.
>>601867286 There was one faggot on second floor and he stayed in is cell and saw him once.. Skinny faggot nigger with dreadlocks, everyone pointed him out before I even got to my own cell on first floor lol..
>Be paperboy >For 2 years, dump papers in large dumpster behind store >Finally caught when some fag starts complaining >apologize, say it was a one time mistake >continue doing what I do for 3 months >one day papers stop arriving >company didn't even bother to tell me I was fired
>>601868239 >2012 >Work in mom's law office >10$/hr >Eat m&m's and browse 4chan all day >Sometimes I have to organize files >Get fired by mom and told to go "get a real job" >Was probably decent advice >Work at Target now
>hungover from previous day > been sick to much already > decide to go in drunk so no hangover > got rum because someone told it didn't smell > protip; it does fuck bad > he meant vodka > come in drunk as fuck > call centre for an isp > haven't started yet > supervisor comes and asks if I can come with > ohcrap.jpeg > asks if i've been drinking cause of the smell > "No sir, the smell is from yesterday" > Sends me home to shower > I go home, drink more. > Come in again absolutely wasted > He see > Oops.mp5 > brings me home in his car 15 miles away > fired > take first train back > drink more > remember almost nothing after that > legend at the office after this > 4/10 would not reccommend
walked into work one morning so disassociated from the previous night's drug use that I couldn't figure out how to speak properly, I knew exactly what I was trying to say but it just came out like a drooling tard and the boss straight up told me to get the fuck out and never come back. My actual job performance wasn't really suffering but apparently not being able to bullshit with everyone else was the last straw.
>>601878959 >Be superstore worker (like wal mart but upscale groceries) >Work in fish department as fish monger >do a little work, talk to customers cause so bored >spend 90% of my time spraying hot water into sink from shower faucet >stoned, zoned out, breath steam deep >one day manager shows up, orders me over so he can talk to me >informs me Im the best dam employee in store >he watches from balcony, always sees me cleaning and working >mfw
>Be me, 10, 2006 >Ask mum if I can do chores >Says "You can go clean the car" >K den >Gets A ton of Cola bottles and sprays them on the car >My dumb fuck mind thought Cola could e used to clean car exteriors >Paint comes off >ohshit:1,000,000GB.PNG >Car is red so I find my old crayons >Colour the parts that have no paint on >A lot of work went into hiding that shit >Gets hose and sprays car >Crayon comes off >Mum comes outside >I owe her money >Hopefully goodboy points will be enough
>>601879701 >Working as roofer >Not getting along with business owner, jewish guy has dradle up his ass >constantly bitching at us for being too slow, cuts corners at our expense >has office in strip joint, demands we spend our pay there >one day roofing million dollar mansion >owners own house, takes off to fuck stripper girlfriend >110* F out, skin burns on contact with shingle >has pool out back, we take a break >left back door open. we raid fridge, steal beers and food >improv pool party >owner gets back, freaks the fuck out >we all quit >still laugh at him when we see him
>>601880907 I've always wondered about these fuck up bosses that this happens to.. Do they change after this happens to them and become nice bosses? Do they tell anyone ? Are they ashamed and keep it a life secret?
>>601880907 >working in call center >ally bank subcontractor >management shit sandwich, unobtainable quotas for calls, constantly have multiple supervisors bitching >goes on for months like this >on my 27th final warning for some other shit >decide ive had enough >spend the entire night transferring balances to the wrong places >flagging accounts for fraud >telling customers ally bank are jews who steal money >calling up past "problem" customer and telling them their accounts are closed and I stole the money >leave in morning like nothings wrong >cops at door next day >ask if I was at work last night >inform them someone stole my key card and Id been home all night sleeping >they spent 9 months trying to convict me >never actually fired me
>be police officer >chasing down 2 baddies >shoot and kill one of them >other one shoots me >go in to coma for months >wake up >door to my hospital room is locked >no nurse comes when I call >wait a few hours for nurse to come >never comes >bust door open >place is deserted and a mess, trash everywhere >walk around looking for someone >zombies
And that's how I lost my job, the zombie apocalypse of 2010.
>be working as a mechanical designer consultant >being good at it >good working conditions, bringing my external drive to listen to music >be offered a project engineer position >fuckyeah.com >evetually some network problem for one week >no intra neither extranet >but no big deal, letting IT do their work >2 weeks later, getting into the office >boss waits for me in the entrance >"we gotta talk, anon" >gets in a room for audition with IT and HR responsibles >Learn that corporate antivirus update showed risks coming from my computer >IT lists them; backtracers, mailbombers, credit card gens >not understanding in the moment >then realize there was this old hacking starter pack I downloaded on emule 6 years ago still archived in my drive >nobody wanted to hear about it >gets fired for having attacked the company network
> be me > be 17 > grocery store job, stocking shelves day in day out > Monday, bit hung over > stocking eggs, fifo of course > fat bitch with obnoxiously high-pitched voices approaches > yeah, um, hi *looks at my tag* Anooon, where are the eggs? i've been looking for them a while now, but because your layout is so shit i can't find them > point out that they're right in front of her nose, literally to the left of where she's standing > says ok, takes eggs and walks off > keep working > intercom calls me to the manager's office > surprised, go, fat bitch is there. > says i've "been very rude and given her a pack of eggs with broken ones inside on purpose" > i explain i did nothing of the sort > manager is a huge whiteknight faggot, actually believe everything i say > tells me to get out, while he thinks about my punishment > go back to stocking, fat bitch walks out, tells me i'm gonna get fired > get called to the manager's again, get fired > quickly walk back into the store, find my metal trolley (that all the produce was on that i stack). big metal wheels, damn heavy. > find fat bitch checking out the diet coke, whoda thunk it? > time for revenge > know exactly where camera's are > wait for her to walk to a certain rack > subtly lean against trolley so it slowly picks up speed, she turns around, but it rolls straight over the middle of both her feet. > hear sickening crunch, walk to get my coat > leave store as i hear someone calling for an ambulance.
>work as control systems engineer >have to install new pump and recalibrate control system at large chemical plant >install it the wrong way round because no arrows >control goes crazy >major errors in system, reaction goes haywire upstream >hear talk of gas leaks and pressure explosions a few days later, approximately $700,000 in damages >mfw
>Be me, working in a fruit and vegetable department for a shitty supermarket. >manager is a fat whore who everyone hates. >I'm a casual employee >boss calls me in to work one day >I'm high as fuck but agree to come in >motherfucking C.E.O is there >notices how red my eyes are and makes a comment >make up shitty story on how my gf just left me >C.E.O doesn't buy calls me a liar and sacks me on the spot. >call him a stupid kiwi cunt and tell manager to go fuck herself >I'm now a used car salesman and I love my job
>be me >work at awesome gas station in an all black community >begins to snow one evening I'm alone running the store except for the subway girl. >I lock the doors and shut off the pumps >customers start to bang on glass >subway girl starts freaking out I ignore her >turn on the tv grab an ice cream sandwich from the cooler and sit on top of the counter watching customers bang on the glass for 3 hours. >time to leave >mfw both of us get fired
>>601860435 >attack a police officers home In the middle of the night >profit
>>601855297 >work at Disneyworld >guests are super annoying >get in trouble for mocking some Mexican guy who didn't speak English >he somehow knew that "nada burrito por taco" was me making fun of him >get written up >whatever >super cute thick Jew girl I work with wants the D >we start fucking on the side >I give her rides home >she gives me road head >at work >she gets on break >we're at a lull >she comes and drags me into a broom closet >I put her on a shelf and start pumping her fucking lights out >she's cumming and starts her gorgeous little Jew squeal >I'm close >I start cumming >my manager opens the closet as I slowly pump and cum >I start laughing
I got fired and she didn't. Should've joined the union.
>>601862098 Doesn't matter. It's basically a paid vacation. I worked night shift security at tiff once and it was the best job I ever had. Shit pay sure, but when you spend it catching up on television shows and movies, it's a lot more than I deserved.
>>601855297 In college, I convinced all my coworkers who were on the student employment service for the college to quit when I found out we were being paid less than the students who got to sit on their asses at desks indoors (we were grounds crew for the college). Tried talking to the dean first - he refused to agree, so I convinced all of them to quit, I got fired for being a trouble maker for the college, but when they all quit, they were hired back on 1 day later with a pay raise equal to the kids indoors. I unfortunately was not. Still, one of my proudest moments.
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