/b/rothers, I have made a decision to stop being a depressed loser betafag. I want to change, to be a better me. I'm shutting off my tv for now, starting to get back into /mu/ /lit/ and /g/. I started an online computer science class, starting to read again, picking back up an instrument, basic things to start my transformation. I wanted to hear any thoughts or advice on how to become a better person , stop being a neet, actually do something and get passed my major depression.
>beta neet wants to be a better man
>thoughts, advice, encouragement, general become a better man thread
shameless self quints. This deserves a reply. Fuck the person who needs help.
It's all about how you create your day. When you wake up in the morning, before you think of all the shit you have to do, wake up with the intention that the day is going to be great. It might not always be great, but it's the thought that counts.
Practice and master your crafts, be efficient and learn not to get stressed. Nice quints bro.
You are a better man by asking for help, just need to realize you aren't that bad off. Stop feeling sorry for yourself--first thing. You are making a huge difference just shutting off the TV--congrats. The reading, instrument learning, etc. are good to help your mind, make sure you are doing something to help/work your body/look, as you will see the changes there first and it will give you encouragement. Then the third part is the spiritual/social/helping others part. It builds self-esteem when you see the effect you have on others and you become more self-secure. By spiritual I do not mean religious. Good luck and don't give up at the first roadblock or the first success either. It's a journey, not a destination.
Happy for ya. What instrument you learning? I suggest you learn piano or guitar if you want to play for people or show off or whatever, or ukulele if you want something easy to learn
Meeting friends is key to being happy for me. I love going out and being social with people I'm comfortable with. Also, join a gym. There are plenty out there that don't cost too much and working out can
a) make you happy by releasing serotonin
b) make you happy by seeing results/noticeably feeling healthier
same op. ive told myself this many times trying to give myself a new perspective of myself and how i'm not my mistakes. just don't try too hard and do what your used, take babysteps to avoid from burning yourself out. i found that the key to my confidence and independence was teaching myself self discipline, self discipline comes to help you learn self respect. doing things is what gets the ball rolling because of realization of seeing what you could be doing with your life. doing responsibilities will make you think about the next thing you need to do and when
If you trying to be more open and have a really hard talking to new people consider this:
Stimulate drugs. Thats right, who knew drugs solved social issues!
Go to the doctor or your psych, get a prescription for adderal.
Take recommended dosage, double if you wanna party.
Talking to people will be fluid and you will be more mindful.
>Drugs that stimulate you will increase your sociability.
>working out also helps
I don't know, I just know if you take too much it will exhaust you, I think of it as like a nitro boost, do it too much and your engine will give out. Check out modafinil it's a mood and cognitive enhancing drug that's legal.
I don't even do it because I got addicted...originally prescribed it for my adhd. I don't know if it's because of my aspergers condition or how bad I have it, I understand everything in my head but can't speak it.. adderal would help me express everything...i wish i could be like that sober.
You can be like that sober, doesn't it also speed up neuroplasticity? That means while you're on it you learn much faster. ECGC found in green tea does this too but not as well as adderal...
Order some B-Complex 50 and 100 and take after a meal, it'll give you energy like a fucking rockstar, always do that google research though
My advice to you OP is to realize that productivity and happiness are a general outlook, not a reaction to events. Each human life is necessarily ups and downs. The key is to become someone who puts their life into personal progress instead of idleness. Be careful not to treat your self betterment as a drug that makes you happy, because you will lose your motivation when misfortune strikes. Just work on figuring out whatever you think your version of awesome is, and then work on bringing it into being.
For me it's my goal in life what changed me. I don't see myself as I did before. I have a girlfriend now, one I actually meet up with irl. I'm going to an online college for IT, I plan to move out soon, and I'm generally happier. Try to make your life goal to be happy, in general. That's what changed me.
What no one seems to be telling you, OP, is that when you try all this crap and fail, you will crash hard. You may not be in a mental state that can handle the realization that you tried and were not successful. It is a bitter pill. Sometimes it is better to just accept the fact that you are a loser and make the best of whatever pizza you can get your hands on. Don't believe that "you can be anything you want to be" crap. Its a recipe for very bad depression, and very hard falls.
I think it depends on the person. I don't believe I would crash hard at all if I failed at bettering myself. 15 years of being a loser doesn't count for nothing. I already expect to fail.
people should just learn from their mistakes, i was naive, i still am, but i think if you have a good outlook on life it will lead to great things, but so true, careful not to hit the ground
Instantly not a neet anymore, thus massive improvement in 1 step
if u need it u will fail the evaluation, if u wanna fake it, take online test and try to convince yourself u have it.
figure out the mannerisms we do.
personally i cannot be seated unless im on my meds, luckly my job allows me to freely leave my desk at will
>I have made a decision to stop being a loser betafag
>getting back to /mu/, /lit/ and /g/
>being this much of a troll nigger fag
I agree with this, op, start with something you are forced into going rather than voluntary things like reading or online computer courses (assuming it's free ones). Job first, then if you want to get into your instrument again, get lessons or go back to school, either way you will need money. That way you have an actual schedule made.
good on ya anon. I was depressed as fuck when I was younger due to parent problems and being molested as a kid. I eventually went to college, married a smoking hot 5'11" wife and have 3 awesome kids. I now have a great career making $145k/yr and just started a business for myself with 2 partners that we're projecting will gross us $1.5M/yr between the 3 of us. The big thing for me was the working out and eating right, you'll get your body chemicals in balance that way as well as blow off steam. It helps out a ton with feeling better. Also, make some goals for where you want to go in life. If you don't know what your goals are, you will never achieve any of them so write them down. Also, goals are nothing without a plan, create a plan for each of your goals and detail how you're going to achieve them. Set realistic milestones along the way so you get some gratification for achieving milestones on the way. Set some goals that you mght not ever achieve, but fuck if you aren't going to try. Lastly, make sure you make stuff that's 10 or more years out, it's a rare thinker that can actually visualize the future that far in advance but it's a skill you can learn. For help on prioritizing your life read "The 7 habits of highly effective people" by Stephen Covey. It's a good book and will help you to hone in on what's important to you and get you on the right track.
>Keep your mouth shut and ears open when talking to EVERYONE
>People love a good listener
>You'll know when you've listened enough to have something to say worth listening to
>You'll also realize that listening is much more rewarding than speaking
>Get 8 hours of sleep
>Think positive and don't let negative self talk exist in your head
>Positive self regard, positive self regard, positive self regard
>Honestly that will come naturally with the 8 hours, exercise and eating well
>Look people in the eye
>Speak clearly and firmly
>Stand tall and learn as much as you can
I've been getting through a bout of really bad... mental shit. Keep yourself busy. Reading makes a world of difference (I wish I did it more, really does help). Enjoy your hobbies thoroughly. Don't pick up an instrument unless you want to. Figure out what you love and persue it. It's motorcycles for me.
Keep a journal. Name it (helps personalize it and keeps you to the habit), this is the biggest difference in my attitude lately. Getting your thoughts on paper, and making sure to always leave some sort of a positive spin on it, or at least a plan. Helps keep my thoughts straight throughout the day with just one page or two entry before bed
I take adderrall 10mg TID, been taking it for a few months.
For the first week or so you'll be dehydrated as fuck and feel like Jesus.
Also expect a bit of a strong or rapid heartbeat (nothing too serious. it's mostly that you'll notice your own heartbeat due to the increased perception), and know that you might not sleep well for a few days.
After about a week you'll get used to it and feel alert and focused for ~4 hours with each dose. Try not to double up your doses too much, you'll develop a tolerance.
If you drink or take other drugs (other than weed) take it easy until you know how it goes for you. For example, when I take adderall It takes 2x as much booze as normal but when my friend takes his he develops the alcohol tolerance of a 13 year old white girl.
If you smoke weed, know that it's possible that you may not get high if you've taken your addys recently.
I really can't stress how big of a difference the journal has made for me. From a jumbled up mess that can barely hold a conversation most of the time unless its about motorcycles, to getting less than 2 hours of work done on todays 10hr shift cause everyone wanted to talk to me.
Try to understand others peoples point of view, people are interesting if you accept the fact that there are other valid viewpoints from your own.
i know what you mean but if you think you're stupid you're going to think you're stupid. you're the only one who's making obstacles difficult by overthinking it, you're the one in control. we've all started from the bottom...i think thats what we have to accept but we know where we could end up if we just keep trying, we're all the same.
If you're in the US its pretty much as easy as asking a psychiatrist. Literally just say you can't focus and it affects your quality of life.
Might as well get a benzo script while youre at it. You know, because those rushing thoughts you have make it hard to fall asleep.
This. Winter always sends me into a depression because it almost forces me to stay inside. Nobody is ever doing anything because it's so cold, and during this time all of the jobs that I normally have during the summer aren't available, so my funds are lacking. Lack of fund = Lack of going out places which ultimately = massive boredom/depression. I do go to school, but it's only a local community college so once school is done with everyone goes home so there isn't much after-school hang out like I had in high school. Plus the clubs here suck and aren't in my interests.
Anyways, spring/summer is the best. Go on a float trip! I found myself very sociable last time I was on one, and I'm a pretty shy guy. I was flirting and talking to girls way out of my league, but I didn't care. That might go into the whole "just have confidence to talk to them" sort of thing too.
I feel like I went on a lot of tangents here that didn't make any sense. I'm tired. Winter sucks. That's the end of it.
I would say make an effort to go out and do activities with other people and make an extra effort to meet new people. Join clubs, use meetup etc to meet more people outside. By meeting new friends they will help pull you out of depression and push you forward
Start exercising, not too much, maybe one or two sessions each week! Get a Personal trainer if you can afford it, if not: google stronglifts 5x5, try that for eight weeks, and take before and after photos! Instaconfidence, i promise bro!
The part about getting less than 2 hours of work done on 10 hr shifts brought back memories. I was always the slowest on the job I had before my last one. Not because I was actually slow, but because almost everyone I walked past while working stopped to talk to me. We worked 10-12hr shifts in a -20*F storage freezer. So my mindset was "Either I can hate life for 10 hours, or I can talk to some of these guys every now and then and make work a little more fun."
If you take it as directed (or less often) the high, for lack of a better term, will go away within a week or so (along with the negatives like high heart rate, insomnia, and irritability).
After that week you will still get the focus benefits, just a little less euphoria and a more manageable energy level.
If you start taking double doses or more you will permanently lose all effect at your normal dose very quickly. If you want to party I would look elsewhere.
Upping it to 20 mg right away probably isn't great, especially if this is your first adderall script and especially if its your first one for ADHD in general.
Honestly, I just keep my bottle with me and redose when needed. You get a better and more predictable effect than any of the 12 hour stuff.
OP, I feel like I successfully made that transition, here are my recommendations:
1) Live on your own, pay all of your bills by yourself.
I know this is hard, but being a man is hard. My mom died and my dad left me, so I never had a choice here. I nearly went homeless, I couldn't afford food for 2 months, but it hardened me in a way that I am proud of. Now, I would never go back to living under someone else's roof and feel comfortable providing for myself.
2) Get a job, ANY job, to do the above
Simply the duty, the pressure, the professional expectations will force you into being a more discipline and hard working person, which is essential to life and being a man. I've had many odd jobs in my life, and I always got something out of them. They're all opportunities. Even though some are better than others, always have a job and always make what you can of it.
3) Go to school full time, work part time during semester
You can be a party fag or you can be a manly fag. This one's your decision, but the workload and maturity required for this one will help you later in life if you follow through.
4) Realize that as much as you physically are what you eat, you mentally are what you think. What this means is, you are going to be depressed if you read depressing shit. Well, you will either become manly or start becoming manly if you read manly shit. Just pick something you like, maybe it's just conversations with a coworker you look up to, maybe it's some website, but I especially recommend forums. Maybe join bodybuilding.com, or some forum that you think is a community that reflects who you want to be. You'll really pick up on it and you'll feel an expectation to keep up with them to fit in with the new community. Watch movies that are sort of about what you want, for example watch movies with people that you find as role models.
Follow this through, and in a year or two you'll hardly recognize yourself for the man in the mirror.
It's important to have an identity. You need roots. You need to define yourself.
I spent a large portion of my early 20's asking myself really hard questions. I asked myself what it means to be a man. How does "being a man" differ from being "male"? Does it even matter? What do I value?
I still don't have it figured out. But I do have a much better sense of who I am and why I believe what I believe. The key to your success in this journey is to simply start the journey. Whatever your inclination is to the first step, take it. You won't know where you're going, but you'll figure it out. Dismiss your failures. Keep trying. Success or failure, the only thing that matters is that your try agIn tomorrow.
"Every morning we are born anew. What we do today is what matters the most." - Buddha
"Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost." - 1 Timothy 1:15
I love my job that's the weird thing. I don't mind working most of the day (shops filled with motorcycle nuts so conversations do come), but yeah the past few days, today especially have been totally different.
Religion will only bring you confusion am fear don't get fuckin involved in this Jesus or Buddha shit just live your fucking life man fuck a bitch play some tennis don't get involved in fucking religion though
That's your choice. It's not what I chose. I'm one of the least dogmatic religious people I've ever met. If it doesn't make sense to me, I dismiss it. I try to focus on the positives. After all, we are what we think. Why would I chose to focus on violence and hatred?
If it's not for you, I respect your right to your beliefs or opinions (or the lack thereof). All I ask is that you do the same.