Fuck you /b/
I just hid behind a bin for an hour
With a fuckin hedgehog in my pocket....
Cops were there somewhere... I assume they were looking for me, they scoured the area
I spent over an hour in a bush
because of /b/
I hate you
so I explain since you are all new to this thread...
I posted before about this
Winrar of trips said I place hedgepig amongst produce at local grocer and wait for someone to find it
I decide that I will then retrieve hedgepig and bring it home....
Absolute mega fail
I fumble tryna grab a fucking hedgepig in a bag at the supermarket
produce attendant is like "dude are you OK?"
I think fuck it he cool, "yea bro just doing a dare"
Rip out a hedgehog into some onions
He goes mental, Fucking runs into the store room....
can someone tell me what happened? Why was OP hiding in a bush?
Fuck you whatevs I'm now pretty drunk and dont care about doing a fuckin >
It's a Pack n Save supermarket, I worked at one when I was 15, first job and shit
Produce dude dissapears into storeroom... I head on loudspeaker "Mr Fitz to produce department... Mr Fits to produce"
Oh fuck wtf shit I know what this mean
Mr Fitz= shit is going down, every person with a box cutter come here NOW
I fuckin bail, Shove hedgepig in my pants
So I carried the fuckin hedgepig in a reuseable bag
now I shoved the fuckin cunt down my left pocket and bailed out the entrance with those anti-trolley spike things.
So I'm wearing USMC desert pants with deep pockets, story aside, they're fuckin sweet pants, however hedgepig sits at balls level
Some plain clothes fags are running toward the exit I just bailed out of...
K so I see cunts running and I bolt, with a fucking hedgepig in my pants, which hurts, lots
I run upstairs where I parked
Just as I get there, some security dudes are coming this way from far, I ditch behind a bin
So long story short, I'm behind some big bins and I stay there with this fuckin hedgepig jabbing me
I hear security walking round talking about they didnt see a faggot with a hedgehog,
they talk to security fags
walk around for a bit
go inside, leave the car
lookin at cams or somthing I dunno
They return, leave,
security wanders off..
emerge, go to car,
boost it home
I still have this cunt
I still got it, sleepin like it was before, (pic related)
what do I do now?
If you came in to my store at night with a hedgehog to put in the produce, we'd all help you find a better place for it. Like the managers desk.
Keep your hedgepig. Now you have something to keep you company OP
I can already see that hedgehog's fate right now.
>be me innocent hedgehog
>lost inside strangers home
>stranger lock's me away
>hidden in darkness hot, hungry, scared
>I see the light
>forever sex slave to stranger
>forced to do his bidding or starve to death
>wish I could be an hero.
Fuck off, there's heaps
Also how the fuck do you make a paper hat.. I dunno?
Hey OP, here are the rules for tending with your hedgehog
Bonding With Your Hedgehog
>Bonding with your hedgehog helps to create an attachment between you and your pet.
>The more the attachment develops between you and your hedgehog the more you will grow to love and enjoy your pet.
>Bonding does require effort, persistence, and an understanding of hedgehogs for the strongest attachment bonds.
>Hedgehogs have poor eyesight so using its other senses will increase bonding effectiveness.
This is you're only chance, don't fuck this up
nah it came in at mid afternoon so it just wanted to sleep since its nocturnal
the shit house hat I made is shit, what do I do with this hedgepig?
Give him a lil smooch, Get your piggest cloth and staple it in half so its a pouch, find a small box and put a small saucer and put water then get a tiny bowl with kitty food in it. Make him all happy and shit, name him, and keep the lil dude forever
OK well everyone yelling to feed it like it's gonna die or some shit, I only had the cunt for 5 hours
So it's night time now and his dad might be out roaming in my yard,
Someone called me brit fag, I'm New Zealand fag
wow OK I type this and it yawns between my arms and starts to wander...
pic update omw
The only issue i think you have now is that hegehogs are endangered/protecyed or some shit here. So you cant keep em as pets.
But i dont know shit really so who knows. Just give it some milk or somethin.
How does that not matter idiot? It's wild, It wandered in, OP can wander it's spiky ass back out and it'll be perfectly fine.
lol well that split the audience
>Chop its head off
without trips it gets set free into the night to reunite with its daddy that lives in my back yard
Ow bro ow, don't be a fuckin faggot our, my mongrel cuzzies will b doxin you dox, think u a skuxx fulla for shooting a random hogpig kuuuunt. Oosh 420 cuz, just let da bro, out ow.
Just like they should let my bro
Tamanuaki Whakoata out of jail ow.
Hold him up in the air to the lion king song as you set him free
You all are fuckin unimaginative plebs
You guys suck balls
I'm just gonna biff the cunt in the garden and he can live there...
wastin my time
His dad will prob run him out of my garden and onto the road eventually but I dunno, a chance at least
>find shelter with hairless monkey
>seems cool, doesn't do much
>put in bag
>get shoved in some shitty smelling foodstuffs
>thrown into monkey's crotch, confused
>hear yelling as monkey runs, stab him so he'll stop
>mutilate dad and post pics
>feed to lilhedger
Most animals wont take back babies that have the smell of human on it...pet store, keep it, or kill it. i vote 3. it will starve and be shunned by its parents IF they find him.
Yeah cos there's gonna be a kiwi nest in OPs garden
Compared to possums, hedgehogs do barely any damage, hell even vets will take them in and heal them if they can, free of charge
You are that hedgehog. You will one day live to be that hedgehog. It may not be in the next life, it may not be in the one after that, but it will happen. You can set yourself free, or you can shoot yourself. Your choice.