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>>602873896 One time when I was 12 my fatass sister pissed me off for whatever reason. I decided I'd get revenge by pumping a load into her sunscreen. 3 months later she goes to the beach and comes home with splotches of sunburn all over her body. No pics cause no one wants to fap to that landwhale
In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog. When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out but the worst thing I ever done I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, I made a noise like this hua hua hua huaaaaaaa and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.
>>602873896 >deleted ex step sisters 10hr essay >told ex step sisters boyfriend i found dick pics on her phone >tied a cat to ceiling fan >shut a cat between a window for a week >never wash hands after masturbating even when cum is all over hands and I live in a student home
I guess I havent done that many bad things really.
This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but here goes. >be me >be 15, freshman in high school >in literature class, sit directly in front of 9.5/10 >I was but a lonely betafag at the time and had done my hair up nice > 9.5/10 taps me on the shoulder and says, "Wow anon, your hair is so handsome" >feelsgoodman.jpeg >unfortunately I got too excited and squealed like a mare in heat >mfw whole classroom goes silent >mfw no grills spoke to me for a year
>>602877677 I was young I remember flushing them in toilets and all that. There was times where I did feel unnecessary anger towards them. Borderlines hate cats (I was on my way becoming one myself). I'm not one now obviously.
>>602877677 Do you really believe what this fuck is saying? He's probably some underage nerd who lives in his mom's basement, and is pretending to be egdy. -he pretend he has a sister for us to think that he has any kind of contact with women out of guys mother -he pretend his sister has a boyfriend for us to think his sister is older than him, and he is Alfa -he pretends to be mean to cats for us to think his egdy That last part was totally a confirmation of that
>>602879202 fuck off. youre projecting dude. my mom had plenty of bfs and ive done a lot of moving. btw my sisters were 10 years older, i didnt know thatd make me fucking alpha. actually at the time i didnt even like women or cheaters in that matter because i believed my mom was a whore, so i didnt give a shit when i told her bf.
Slapping a girl isn't that big a deal outside of tumblr/reddit/etc is it? I mean really, I think every guy I know who's been serious with a girl has had to smack some sense into her at some point. I know I have.
Rubbing the clit of a sleeping fresh 18 y girl with my foot. We were sleeping on couch at my cousins house. She was to far to use my hand, and if she woke up I wanted to be able to give her the impression that i was sleep
When I was 10-19 I molested my little sister on the regular, though tamely. I had my hand on her ass more than I would my gf. I stripped her naked quite a few times and exposed myself to her. Jacked off to her constantly. Finally grew up and it all stopped when we nearly crossed a line. Come to find out she thought she instigated ALL of it and she was at least as turned on by it as I was. Mom had a similar relationship with her brother when young. F'd up family.
>>602877175 Step 1: Find drawstring bag. Step 2: Place kitty in drawstring bag for safe keeping. Step 3: Close drawstring bag. Step 4: Turn on vacuum cleaner next to drawstring bag. Step 5: Hilarity ensues. Step 6: Let cat out of bag before it shits itself. Step 7: Hilarity resumes.
>at a high school wrestling match at some inner city school >were in the locker room waitng to weigh in > bored as fuck looking though all the niggers at basketball pratices backpacks >find a phone three > hand it friend and say here you deserve it >we go and weigh in > we go out to the mat and wait for the match to start >sitting next to friend and I hear a ringtone start to go off > it's some nigger rap song I think it was The next episode > I say to my friend that's really your ringtone > he smiles and says no > holy shit you actually took that phone > yeah anon you handed it to me > ringtone still going off > start coughing to cover it up > our coach comes around asking if anyone found a phone lying around > we all say no didn't see anything > after he leaves I turn to my friend and say you have to go put it back > he runs back to the locker room > he comes back to the mat with the biggest fucking grin > where did you put it > what > you put it back right > no I did but then I had second thoughts > really > no just kidding > the niggers found there phone the end
>be me >7 years old or so >I normally get along with the neighbor kids but for whatever reason this day I found them ganged up around me, kicking me in my legs >take it like a badass for 10 or so seconds until I decided that was enough >walk away without saying anything, go to a slide that was really old and falling apart >break off a huge ass stick from it, at least as a kid it was so heavy I could just barely lift it >see all the other kids faced away from me so sneak behind them >use all my kid might to bash the kid in the head with the log >he falls down, gets up and starts crying like a fucking fire engine >his head has a massive wound that's bleeding >kid runs home
>walk back home while the other kids watch me in silence >stay inside for 2 days in fear of the kids parents coming to scold me, however they never did >ever since that the kid seemed a bit... slow in the head >tfw I never got in trouble >tfw in one swing I got the respect of all the kids in my neighborhood as well as made one possibly retarded
>>602887485 >brother has really good friend in middle school >his friend was two years older than him and was in my grade >start talking to this kid >finds out he smokes weed >go and tell my brother he's crushed >he begins to hate his friend because he's a straightedge faggot >wait about a month and go tell my brother that everything I said was a lie and his friend was really a saint >start smaking weed with my brothers best friend and he's still none the wiser. >wait anothe year till were all in high school >we now have about 20 people in on the joke that my brothers best friend is a straightedge faggot >one day my brothers friend comes in and tells him that he justed started smoking pot that week >slowly starts to reveal his true self to my brother >my brother is slowly crushed again finding out that his role model is a pot head >finally he finds out that I was smoking pot with his best friend the whole time >he dosnt talk to either of us for three months >I'm 20 now and he's still pissed about >probably because he's a straight edge faggot fixed my spelling errors and fixed the greentext
One time me and this other girl, who was really just an acquaintance, basically molested this super drunk chick that I was into. Wasn't rape, no penitration, (my accomplice blew me after) but we made her our plaything for a good 2 hours. I wasn't even drunk, just on a shitload of heroin. Ive always looked back on this experience as being awesome and sexy af but now that I think about it, it would suck to have the spins and be uncomfortably shit faced while being molested.
>Once got an extra "mess up" sandwich while at burger king >I don't eat mayonnaise >Decide on the drive home to give it to the first homeless person I saw >Took a route where I knew I'd see some on the corner begging >First one was fat >Drove to the next one and gave it to him
>>602879426 youtube was created in early 2005, I was in my last year of high school at that date. Meaning the OLDest he could if he was 9 in 2005 then is 19. 19 years and ONE month to be exact (Feb 2005). Odds are this ones a kid. Especially because the original pre-google youtube was not especially well known or popular and the concept of a video sharing site of that nature was pretty new. in 2005 social media was JUST starting to take off. 9 year olds at the time didnt even have fucking xangas let alone youtube accounts etc. You probably did this in like 2009 or 2010 when youtube didnt just hit mainstream but exploded. You are almost certainly underage. GTFO of my ADULT imageboard.
>>602885464 Lots of alone time with her. Fool parents trusted me. Good relationship too, leveraged that to get her to not recoil at me touch. Keep touching and touching. Strategically time walk-ins to when she's changing and treat it like she's the strange one for not wanting me to see her naked. Basically, molest a little til it becomes a lot, and head games. The whole thing fills me with shame though, don't do it.
>killed cat when i was 4-5 >told a dude he was homo in front of alot of people at a party, then punched him in the face. he came out of the closet >punched a nigger in the face and called him a nigger at party
guess i'm a mean drunk, which is one of the reasons i don't drink anymore
>>602890745 When I was 21 I dated a 13 year old. Was it you? nah, kiddin. I don't regret it though, we had good times together and kept my pants on. She's quite a woman today and I'm glad of what we had back then.
>>602890599 Oh yeah it was very fun. Me being on H really played into that situation, like her weak protests just amused me. She would try to look into my eyes and appeal to me, I remember I just kinda gave a half smirk and pulled her in for an aggressive kiss >>602891123 >>602891643 Ok I guess this is more common than I thought.. Well iit's b wtf do I expect haha
>>602892660 I'm glad it happened. The only reason I regret it is how he ended it. Well I ended it and he went insane. Tried to get me back multiple times. To this day I don't know why. Told him I just want him happy.
I wish it was you anon we would probably still be friends.
>>602873896 >getting hevy w this chick and she fell asleep drunk mid bj. So I jerked off in her hair and left.
>completely trashing some dude who made the mistake of letting my group of friends into his house for a party, much was stolen and the cops were called. Also that kid shit his bed once he passed out drunk. My friend took pictures and showed everyone at his school
>Broke a guys jaw and took a Q/O of coke from him with two friends
>robbed a young kid who desperately wanted to be cool and for me and my friend to like him for a 1/4 pound of weed
>helped my friend dispose of a knife he used to stab a homeless guy who came up behind him in a large open desert area. There were EMT and fire trucks there the next day.
>many chicks who I told I would call and then never called again
>>602873896 >Be me >Just turned 21 >Did the thing >Others may happened >Alcohol was involved >Feelsbad.flac >Walked out of that garage >Made my way downtown >Others saw the thing >MFW I literally fucked the monster from the movie "the thing" >MFW I lost my face after fucking the monster from the movie "the thing"
>be teenager >work at drive thru liquor store in bumfuck nowhere ohio >handle money from drug dealers, hookers, rednecks, etc all day >nasty shit builds up under fingernails >at end of shift go to bathroom and wash hands >scrape nasty shit out of fingernails
Happens approximately daily
>one day pillhead coworker is being especially sleazy and bitchy >gather up fingernail scum >place in her monster (she drank it constantly) >misses a week of work >thought I killed her >nope she stole pills, hid them in her vagina, and got caught by previous pill owners and had pills forcibly removed and got her ass handed to her
>be me >18 year old drunk idiot >sneak into movie at the theater >only person in there >MFW >run along the rows on top of the seats >doing all the fun shit one would expect to do inside a lonesome show room. >have the nastiest liquid/soft fluffy shit combo going >stomach growling, I can feel it traveling towards my anus. >about to walk out and use the shitter when- >lightbulb.jpg >release the biggest, NASTIEST, most foul smelling shit I've ever released. >Ass hole burning from the intensity. >wipe my ass over various metal handles and cloth arm rests >MFW I walk out and let the concession boy have fun
>>602873896 I adopted a dog for a day last winter. I bought a dog off of craigslist, but when I took it home it was defective. It woke me up at 4am barking, so I took it out on a walk in my car. I let him go and dropped the leash then drove off.
>be 18 >grew up in a low income family with migrant parents who saw wartime etc >horny >get a zucchini - spit and insert >theres a little knobbly piece that is annoying me >ignore it and keep hammering myself for 20 or so minutes >nah, this knobbly bit is pissing me off >pull it out >go to kitchen, wash the zucchini a bit and circumcise about 2 inches from the end >use knife to round the edge >throw wasted zucchini into the freshly emptied bin (just a piece of zucchini sitting in a plastic bag) >go finish buttplay finish, but walking round with zucchini still in butthole >mum comes home >freak the fuck out >running around cleaning up - moving tissues and clearing browser history etc >throw clothes on >i have a massive buttcrack stain on my shirt from sitting on it and sweating >remember zucchinis still up my ass >too late now, she's opening the door >she comes in - we have a conversation >she asks me if im ok >im fine, never better >you sure? you look flustered? have you eaten today? >no, im fine - i might go outside for a bit >she idly opens the sink cupboard door >I look away >what did you make? >huh? >with the zucchini? >huh? >my hand automatically goes to my butt >look at mum >she's holding the zucchini top with the knobbly bit >umm- zucchini omelette >oh yummm. was it good? >ummm..not really >ohwell... you shouldn't be so wasteful >raises it to her lips >mum NO, don't >why? >cos...cos...that's been in the bin, that's foul! >it's empty. I would have killed for some fresh zucchini when I was a kid >it's too late. it's in her mouth >I have zucchini in my ass and my mums chewing my zucchinis foreskin >'ohhh, i see what you mean. not good. ohwell, waste not want not' >guilt.jpg
Slashed tires, Bunch of times as my ENEMY threatened to kill me and was harassing me. I slashed 4 tires, then came back a month later planning on breaking the back window and front windshield with a 40 pound iron ball. I missed the front window, hit square in the dashboard by the stearing wheel column ... OOppss!!
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