What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
look, I keep getting rejected over and over again
I have never had a girlfriend, never been kissed and never been fucked
either you will fuck me, or I will shoot up the closest fucking mall nearby
When Mighty Roast Beef was the Englishman's Food
It ennobl'd our veins and enriched our Blood:
Our Soldiers were Brave and our Courtiers were Good:
Oh! The Roast Beef of Old England,
And Old English Roast Beef.
>My name is Frodo Baggins and I want to wear you like the one ring until you scream precious
Sweat, baby, sweat, baby sex is a Texas drought
me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about
So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel
Nuts, yes, I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert, and you're getting two thumbs up
You've had enough of two-hand touch,
You want it rough, you're out of bounds
I want you smothered, want you covered,
Like my Waffle House hash browns
Come quicker than Fed Ex, never reaching apex like Coca-Cola stock
you are inclined to make me rise an hour early
just like Daylight Savings Time
Are you aware I have a ritual called 'terminator'. I crouch in the shower in the "naked terminator" pose. With eyes closed I crouch for a minute and visualize either Arnie or the guy from the 2nd movie. I then start to hum the T2 theme. Slowly I rise to a standing position and open my eyes. It helps me get through my day. The only problem is if the shower curtain sticks to my terminator leg. It sorta ruins the fantasy
When I was 12, I thought it would be funny to sh!t into a Pringles can...so I did. The log nearly filled the entire can. Then I got the brilliant idea to fill the rest of the can with water and leave it out in my backyard. It was winter at the time so I imagined it would freeze as a cylinder of ice with a log of sh!t in the middle. The next night, my drunk older brother (who was 16) and his buddies came stumbling through the backyard. One of them saw the can and decided to kick it. Instead of freezing, the can had turned into a chilled tube of diarrhea. It sprayed all over the guy who kicked its foot and his buddy's Philly Eagles jacket. I laughed my ass off as they washed my sh!t off their shoes and coat. One of them had a mustache (at 16) so I didn't give a phuck. They knew it was sh!t, but they never knew its origins.
It was a hot summer day and I was in my workout room benching 1200 pounds. My abs were flexing and girls within a 10 mile radius were getting wet. Once I was done with my daily 32 hour workout I called one of the bitches I know, Senjogahara. She is really fucking hot and looks like a supermodel. SO I got into my Lamborghini Gallardo and reved it up to 40,000 RPM (this is an Italian import with special engine system). I got onto the freeway near my house and threw it into 8th gear, I hit about 600 mph and I could hear the sonic boom as I broke the sound barrier. As I was flooring it on the freeway like a badass, Senjogahara called me and said she wanted me to fuck her. So be it.
I came to a full stop from 700 mph in front of her house. These Ferrari's have top notch brakes, you know. So she gets out of the house and walks up to my Bugatti and starts eyeballing my penis. I could tell she was staring at it because when I looked at her I noticed she was looking at my penis. Booya.
Flash forward to like 10 minutes later. My 30 inch dick is going inside of her pussy, hitting them walls. I'm holding her entire body up with my left pinky as I'm fucking her and she has 30,000 orgasms. She looks me in the eyes and she says "harder." V-TEC just kicked in, yo. I blow my load so hard she falls off my dick. There had to have been about two pints of cum everywhere. People say I cum like a pornstar, I wouldn't disagree with them.
I throw her a towel so she can clean herself up then I do a triple backflip into my Maserati and drive home.