I just lost another one, /b/.
I rushed into a relationship with her and realistically we lasted maybe two weeks, despite being off and on since December.
She said I'm too clingy, and annoying, and obsessed. I hardly remember our relationship because I was so fucking spaced on xanax, alcohol, and oxy throughout.
But I don't want to lose her. I don't want her to be another girl I won't ever talk to again. I don't want this to happen again.
At the moment, she wants nothing to do with me. Ever. She's made it very clear that our relationship meant nothing to her, and that I was just a "crush" that blew things out of proportion. She says I'm immature, and that I need help, and that I need to grow up and get over it.
I need help. If I can't figure out what to do by the end of the night I'm going to kill myself. I can't stand this life. The same thing has happened too many times, and it's so fucking draining.
Help me, /b/. Give me suggestions, give me a plan of action, give me some tough love.
You probably are immature.
Kill yourself over a ruined relationship? Holy shit guy..
If you don't know what it means to be more mature then learn and figure out what's wrong and imbalanced in your life.
It's not just this relationship, though. It's happened so many times for so many years. I realize the problem must be with me, but I also realize that it will never get better.
Nice b8 m8.
However, if this isn't b8, GOOD FUCKING GOD. It is a girl. Get the FUCK over it. Stop doing drugs cause obviously they are fucking your relationships up. Grow a pair of testicles and realize girls will come and go. Stop thinking selfishly, have genuine connections with people, and for the love of fucking god take control of your life. It is too fucking beautiful to not experience for as long as you can.
That's bullshit. Sober the fuck up and buy some polo shirts! There's women everywhere. Just fabricate a personality so that they think there's something at the bottom of all that shit.
Get help. Go to rehab. Get clean and show her you are responsible and taking control of your life. Give her time to see the changes. After that, begin developing a mature relationship with her.
I tried pretending in the beginning, I think. I think I was a completely different person when I was still using. Towards the end, when our relationship became more strained, I realized that I was feeling and acting extremely isolated and depressed when I stopped the constant use, which turned her off completely.
I'm not even sure how to overcome it. I thought by now I could figure out how to maintain a relationship, at least. I guess I did sort of just expect things to change. I think I still want to believe that if there's a connection the rest of the relationship will just sort itself out over time.
I really like this idea. But I don't know if it could ever happen again. She doesn't even want to see me anymore.
But will people notice if I clean up? Will they suddenly see great changes in me? Like, will she know I'm sober and clean? Will she ever want me back?
OP, do you know what starvation feels like?
How can you act like this? Read over your post again and notice how those words are clearly written by some whiny kid who has no control over himself. Do you feel embarrassed how completely enslaved by your own emotions you are?
Emotions are states of mind. Your state of mind reacts accordingly to your attitude - your perspective - on yourself in context to the world around you. Seriously dude, I read your sad post and can't help but wonder if you actually get off on feeling like a bitch. Expand your fucking mind so this kind of shit doesn't feel so big.
Oh, and don't eat for a week. Then come back and let us know how painful your love life is.
I can't remember a time when I wasn't high on something when I was with her. Even if I wasn't under the influence of something, I was usually hungover from the day before.
The closest we got to actually getting high together was when I sold her some high dose Adderall XR's and concerta. The adderall made her chatty.
I've always resented her substance abuse. I realize how hypocritical that is.
Just off yourself already.
If you're trying to shield her from substance abuse and beat yourself up about it then she was right, you're the problem.
You might seem like a cool guy on the surface but she came to know just what a fucking trainwreck you are. A needy clingy little fucker with no sense of self.
>You might seem like a cool guy on the surface but she came to know just what a fucking trainwreck you are. A needy clingy little fucker with no sense of self.
I actually explained that to her one day. Over the phone, late at night, I think.
She says she can't help me with that. She can't be responsible for me, and she can't take care of me. "Man up".
And I think she's right. It's not her problem and it shouldn't be. But if this is my life and if this is all it will ever be then what's the point?
> But if this is my life and if this is all it will ever be then what's the point?
How simple minded are you? Has it ever occurred to you that you can refine and expand your understanding of life by learning from every experience? That was rhetorical, because you saying something so dimwitted makes it clear that it hasn't.
If your mind is so small, all this shit is going to feel huge to you. Go absorb some knowledge and develop a rich imagination before you think you should kill yourself.
Well you've obviously become aware of the issue, try doing something about it other than whining like some chickenshit on a cambodian knitting forum.
Better yourself, for yourself.
Take some psychedelics instead of dope.
I just want someone to help me through this difficult time.
Eventually I want to develop the ability to make myself happy. Her answer for this was to "smoke weed" or "drink". I realize now that she is not equipped to help me, and recently I realized that this is because she's only known me for a few months. Already she knows more about me than my family or friends. I think I may have told her more than even I remember.
I have no desire to learn. No drive or focus. I can hardly get out of bed some mornings. I think I use to spend hours in the library years ago. Did that not equip me to handle these situations now?
>Eventually I want to develop the ability to make myself happy. Her answer for this was to "smoke weed" or "drink".
Can I just ask how old you are? Your girl sounds like she's 14.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself and be glad the girl was honest with you. Listen to her advice and stop acting like an insecure and clingy psycho. First thing is to get off the drugs, no girl is attracted to a xanax/oxy zombie who can't get a grip with reality.
Learning is a derivative process, so you can spend years in a library and not learn much. Be the observer of your mind and body. Witness your self undergoing these changes. Take note, like an observer, on how you feel in a given moment. Be mindful. Not even on some new age shit...being mindful is key to finding serenity. Shock yourself, take yourself out of comfort zones. Open yourself up to everything and move. You have to just move man.
I wish it didnt sound so damn cliche, but it's simply the truth. You have to do what you can to expand your definition of "self", because it's apparent that you have a very narrow definition. Outward experience is an inner endeavor, and inner endeavors will enrich outward experience. It's a two way street that feeds itself both directions. Same goes for self-destructive paths.
Love you dude, hope you stop resisting so much.
I was and still am reluctant to share our ages, just because of how silly the difference is. I can confirm that she's still young, and her solutions to my problems definitely reflect that. I don't know if she knows or knew the extent of my abuse, but drinking was basically a daily activity that started at breakfast.
hahahahaha grow up faggot
get a constructive hobby, learn an instrument, begin a sport (things that take actual discipline and dedication rather than chucking pills down your throat for easy highs faggot) and get a steady job. jesus christ wtf is wrong with people
> doing drugs
>being in a committed relationship
Choose one faggot
Thank you. You've helped a lot. I still can't understand everything you're saying, but I'm going to copy it and reflect on it for a long time, just to absorb it.
I think I've been too afraid to face my challenges or the reality of my situation for a long time. I need to start with that.
I'm embarrassed about all of it right now. I completely embarrassed myself when I was talking to her today. I was begging for her to stay, or even just talk to me for the rest of the night.
I want to change.
Your problem is one of escapism, among others.
>I was so fucking spaced on xanax, alcohol, and oxy throughout
Quit your drug habits. Will be very hard at first, but if you pull through you'll come out a better man.
Your reluctancy to share your age paints you as an immense pussy with long-lasting mommy issues stretching back to your early childhood(when you had no language, when you felt rather than considered). You were probably subjected to bad conditioning on top of bad imprinting. If you don't believe me ask yourself if you have dizzy spells, heart palpitations, wet palms or frequent nightmares.
Do you have a "baby-face"?
You as a man coming into situations like the one you've found yourself in now with the anxiety chemicals of a terrified infant will not be able to judge, observe or decide anything very accurately.
You may find yourself with a so-called 'Respiratory Block', a long-lasting muscular shield that prevents relaxed, proper breathing. In laymans terms 'being up-tight'.
Which brings me back to one of my earlier posts.
>Take some psychedelics instead of dope
Do this, reduce yourself to infancy and resolve your issues.
Syrian fag here
You see OP , I've survived airstrikes , my street getting bombed , random bullets and missles ,jihadi fuckers , bashar al assad fuckers, shitty economic , my own family members getting arrested and killed.
My point is : you're a first world faggot , you're so faggot that taylor swift would break up with you withiut writing a song about it you fucking wallnut
best way to get over someone is to get under someone else, i lost my gf of 5 years because i was neglegent drunk with anxiety issues that kept me from being emotionally or physically close to her we grew further and further apart until she fell into the arms of someone else, i was down for about 2 months and angry at her for cheating on me instead of just having the common decency to dump me but then I found another chick, 1,000,000x better in bed, we connect more emotionally, and i don't even think about that cunt anymore, trust me you think she's the best you can do and she's the best thing for you but you'll find someone who loves you for you and how clingy you can be lifes to short to spend it with someone who doesn't want you around 100% even if you could get her back it wouldn't be worth it because there would always be part of her that isn't completely in the relationship cuz she thinks she can do better, find someone who wants you and makes you happy otherwise your better off alone IMO
Honestly, I'm unsure of how wise it is for me to get mixed up with more drugs is, regardless of their proposed or theorized benefits. It's been suggested that drugs are making my life more complicated than it needs to be, and I'm inclined to believe that.
>lifes to short to spend it with someone who doesn't want you around 100% even if you could get her back it wouldn't be worth it because there would always be part of her that isn't completely in the relationship cuz she thinks she can do better
I didn't put much thought into this. You bring up very good points, or at least, I like how they sound.
Dude. You will never have a normal relationship if you are fucked up on drugs and alcohol. Your problem is so simple to fix yet seems so hard to for you to see. You first need to work on yourself before you drag another person down into your miserable world. A mature person has a mature relationship. A problematic person has problematic relationships.
You know what comes next. Clean yourself up. Get off the drugs. Turn your life around. Eat better, exercise, rid yourself of everything that is toxic and poisonous to you. Own up to your faults and mistakes and make amends with it. You can't erase the past so you have to learn to live with it and forget about it. You need to rethink your life and make it good before you share it with someone. Good luck with your quest. Positive energy is a must. 100% all the time and watch how much better your life will be. Hope this helps
I'm not saying it's the end-all-be-all solution to your problem, just that it might help you find out where the problem lies and maybe chart a path towards fixing it.
Like you said you have no desire to learn anything. No drive or focus.
Psychedelics _might_ help you learn something or give you back some form of adolescent wonder and focus about where you want to be in the world
Just made a similar post. Nobody here's gonna give you their sympathy. I gotta say, life really is painful. I can't give you any good advice because I'm doing just as bad as you. All I can say is that suicide isn't usually justified. If you really think it is, think about it for a week or two and if you still think it's the right thing to do, maybe it's meant to be...
That is also a problem and would be even if you could take care of yourself. Teenagers are dumb, I guess it sounds like you are both emotionally teenagers and she is probably also physically one too
I guess you're right. But I mean, let's be realistic-- I have a long way to go if women my age or older are going to consider me. Maybe that's why I've always been dating younger girls. Maybe that's why they don't last very long?