Interactions with cops thread. I want to hear your best stories.
>Be me, 21 year old senior in college.
> Halloween 2014.
> Live in a pretty small college town but the weekends are always full of parties.
> Dress up as a pirate. Bad ass costume, got two fake sabers and 2 flint lock pistols.
> Antiques, can't be fired, even put orange tape on the end of their barrels cause fuck the police, they will kill me quick if I don't.
> Go to the bars around 12 am, bars are open til 4 am in this town.
> Get way to drunk way too quickly and end up trying to make my way back to my apartment.
> On my way back I am walking when all of a sudden I feel someone grab me from behind
> Instinctively pull away and try to run thinking someone was trying to rob me or something.
> next thing I know I am on the ground getting hit over and over again.
> Only hear "Stop resisting"
> Don't know what is happening so I just go limp.
> even after stopping all motion I still get hit for another 30 seconds.
> get hand cuffed and picked up.
> Cops proceed to tell me I am under arrest for resisting arrest and assault on an officer.
> Confused as fuck, get taken in for booking.
>Call father who is a lawyer, he drives straight to the department which was 2 hours away from him.
> Explain to him what happened and he all but loses his shit.
> Cops provide shitty excuse of how I matched the description of a call about a armed mugging.
> I am too drunk to really say anything, just kinda sit there and laugh from time to time at the bs the cops were saying
> Eventually get arraigned and taken to jail.
> released the next day after pops paid $500 dollar bail.
> go to court, all charges are dropped.
cops threatened me for weeks about suing them. They would literally sit outside of my apartment and follow me to class.
was going to fight them but my dad said it was better to just bite the bullet and forget about it. Cops in this town are the biggest assholes.
Town: New Paltz, NY.
>Cop pulls me over and gives me a ticket
>I follow him home
>Stab him in the fucking face
>Hang his wife
>Burn his kids alive
>Disable his legs for life so he has to spend life in wheelchair
>Feels good man
>small dense college town
>have small BBQ with friends b Sunday before first day of fall quarter
>kind of break in our new house with nice backyard
>playing quiet music in background
>suddenly cops come around back like they own the fucking place
>mfw the they could have come back through the drive way that wraps to the back of the house
>instead they choose the side with the gate and let themselves in as they please without any warning
>"turn off the music"
>mfw they came about a "noise complaint" from local resident next door
>"it's a valid comlaint, we can hear the music down the street"
>mfw music isn't even auidable from the front of our house
Cops here get in everyone's business, start shit, end poorly. They don't learn their lesson, get involved when they shouldn't, and cause most of the trouble around town
>Walking around the park with mom, six year old garbler
>Want to play on playground
>Mom is bitching because I didn't eat my baby carrots for lunch
>Throw a tantrum like the little shit I was
>Continuously grow louder and louder
>At this point I'm reveling in the fact that I'm letting everyone know my mom sucks
>Cop comes around
>"Ma'am, is this kid giving you any trouble?"
>Still being the little shit I was, stuck my tongue out
>Fuck the law, cops can't do shit to six year old me
>Don't remember what mom said at his point
>"Ping-pong-let-me-suck-your-ding-dong" for all I know
>Cop grabs me by the shoulders
>Stares malevolently into my eyes like he was an angel sent to smite me
>"Kid... Shut... The... Heck... Up..."
>In the most gravelly tone possible.
>Visibly freaked me out, 'bout to tear up
>"Now, take this sticker."
>Gives me a cop badge sticker
>"You can only wear this sticker once you promise to be a decent son."
>I shout, "NEVER! NO!"
>Cop shoves his head forward and fake bites my nose just inches from face
>"Wear the damn sticker. WEAR IT!"
>I wear the sticker and be good for the rest of the day
>Next time I'm in the park, same cop is there.
>Hands me sticker. "Wear the sticker."
>I'm being trained with stickers.
>be out with friends smoking a regular cigar and about to drink
>cop comes from out of nowhere
>shines light in our faces asks what we're doing
>"smoking a cigar"
>asks to see it gives it back
>'those your cars back there?'
>'howd you get here?'
>mfw none of us know what to say
>i finally blurt out 'cars'
>mfw he leaves
>driving at warp speed
>get pulled over by cops
>be asked for documents
>as soon as the cops recognise me as one of the exponents of one of the most ancient and powerful families of the area he just let me go
So that's the way police works in italy
I've dealt with cool cops before.. But usually they have been assholes. 24 years old, never been arrested no had any run ins with the law
>Driving to work one day
> Going about 45mph when all of a sudden my front drivers side tire pops
>Almost crash into a cop car which was going the opposite direction.
> Cop whips his car around
> Get out , draws his pistol, and demands that I get out of my car.
> I get out, hands above my head. lay down on the ground with my arms out.
> Cop proceeds to tell me how I puposely tried to ram his vehicle, that I am lucky he didn't shoot me.
> Try to explain how my tire popped.
> He calls me names over and over again, about 12 other cops show up.
> Finally 1 of them checks my car, sees my blown out tire.
> Release me and tell me to fuck off
And that people is why I think cops are dick heads.
Cop comes to my door
- Do you know what swatting is?
- You are being arrested for the swatting of M**** P******
- Turn around and put your hands behind your back?
-Your being charged with Public Mischief and Public Mischief Under $5000
>Drop off my sister's boyfriend at train station
>Couple days later find out he's been missing for a few days and I'm the last person to have seen him
>Sit at home with sister watching Ghibli films to make her feel better
>Female officer shows up, has brief chat with me about whether he said / did / suggested anything, was followed etc. Not a suspect at all, she's really good about everything
>Boyfriend shows up few days later, turns out he'd just been a teenaged idiot and gone to a friend's without telling anyone.
The police in the uk seem pretty nice if you're not a sack of shit.
>Be chilling in the bathroom after having sex with the gf
>we fall asleep
>wake up to knocking on the door
>are you alone in there he says?
>both say "what?" at same time
>get dressed and come outside
>takes our name and dob
>says "I used to do this when I was younger, find a better place to do this though. People heard you"
>wtf best cop ever
>doesn't called parents
>Hotboxing in a park
>Cop pulls up searches our car finds weed and bowl.
>Says he'll let us go if we give up our dealer
>Give him fake name and address
>Six more cops show up.
>My buddy's dad is a local politician.
>Calls him he talks to the cops.
>They let us go with a warning, and make us walk home.
>mfw it takes 12 cops to check one tire
Sounds accurate to me, not being sarcastic.
> call up girl from backpage, 2 call process, arrive at motel, oh shit cops are everywhere.
> i call girl up and tell her, she sighs and says theyve been there for a few hours, but shes kind of out of the way.
> i risk it, i pull in through the back entrance where its quiet.
> go in, do my thing, condom falls off inside her, i cum in her l, lulz are had.
> i leave, on my way out an unmarked impala makes a u turn and follows me
> main road i get stopped by a marked unit, cop doesnt ask for reg or insurance, just license, and asks if ive had anything to drink. Stopped for tinted windows.
> 5 minutes later he hands me back my license, give me a warning for the windows, asks that i drive safely and have a good night.
> i drive off, wtf i have a loaded gun next to the drivers seat, and 2 sticks of pcp in the center console.
> obey every road rule home, get home and light up the jet fuel to have a good night, obeying all of officers wishes.
18 or 19 years old, walking to store for smokes with a buddy.
Cops stop us, say they had reports of two black guys in hoodies breaking into cars in the area. We're both white as hell.
They kept us there for about 40 minutes, 4 or 5 squad cars ended up showing up.
Still have no idea why.
>be me friend is driving my car bar hopping around town
>me and my friend drunk as fuck
>go to a weekend fest thing where he meets up with this girl she's underaged >so was I with about 4 moths
>on our way to this bar in the next town
>ashtray full of weed next to me toking up
>police nignog puts on his lights shows us to pull of
>my friend starts driving my car is fast well compared to the shit the police is driving
>we're getting the fuck away
>friend turns into a dead end cops behind us
>hear shots underaged girl screams like a fucking bitch
>friend crashes control arm on the car but we're still going
>get away from popo
>friend crashes into car wash bay cause he loses control of the car because of the fucked control arm
>cops are gone think what the fuck we're going to tell my dad
>cops stop at garage to buy soda
>cop sees us
>nignog cop beats the shit out of us
>tell's us we should take all the alcohol out of the car
>I hide the weed
>takes us to police station
>call our parents
>friend get's locked up on three counts
>me and friend never talk again
>Few weeks ago, nice warm day in March, on Sunday afternoon.
>Drive to local Seaside Town (Southend for all you South Easterners.)
>Spend the day hotboxing my car with about 4 friends, smoke a good 7-8 joints throughout the day.
>Fast foward to evening, dropping friends off, with the last friend in my car
>Drive to his area he recently moved into a flat to.
>Don't know the area too well, pretty high, been smoking all day
>Pull out in a T Junction doing about 45/50 in a 30 zone.
>Pull out in front of a car who was also speeding, they come literal inches from smashing into my car, I don't even notice and just drive off
>Car spins around chases after me, bibbing and flashing his lights, he wanted blood
>Low and behold police were parked up and saw the whole event.
>Lights on, after both of us.
>Quickly pull up, two female officers running towards my car as they get out, screaming at the top of their lungs at me.
>Pretty convinced I'm fucked, car full of drugs, stinks of weed, high as fuck, new laws in to clamp down on Drug drivers came in literally a week before.
>Explain I didn't know the area and I hadn't been driving too long (Only passed my test 7 months ago.)
>One officer takes my license and radios in HQ to check the car is mine, etc.
>Other one is talking to the guy who nearly crashed into me, he's screaming and going mental
>Officer comes over, puts her head in my window.
>Sternly says it stinks of cannabis, asks if I've been smoking
>No point lying, tell her I had one cannabis joint at about 1 in the afternoon (This was an obvious lie, I'd had about 7 up until that point.)
>tl;dr they let me off with a warning
>be drunk as fuck
>apparently I was so drunk I tried to go to sleep in the middle of the road
>only thing I remember is standing there talking to someone
>no idea what about
>looking at cop but so wasted I don't realize it's a cop
>only when i look at the squad car does my brain comprehend that i am talking to police
>all I remember him sayin is "Dude, you are wasted"
He took me home and I didn't get any tickets for it
>mfw cop was not a fag
I was in no way exaggerating. I was in the back of a police car for about 30 minutes listening to this dick head cop telling me I am a fucking asshole, how much a fucked up, how he was going to destroy my life, before any cop actually decided to check my tire. It completely blew out and even then the cops were still dicks to me. Like realizing they were completely wrong but not being man enough to admit it and apologize, Instead they continued to mock me and try to make fuck of me trying to tell them over and over again that I did not try to ram them. I got my pay back a few months later though. I was started coaching the varsity soccer team at the local high school. Team was real good, one states a few years in a row. Kid shows up one day for try outs, he is real good. I am impressed. After practice I am talking to him when guess who shows up. Dick head cop who thought I was triyng to ram him. It was his son trying out.
I cut that little fuck the next day. His father came at me screamin and yelling, I simply told him "sorry sir, but we only have room for 22 players and your son was not in the top 22.
He pulled me over about 15 times in the follow year because of that. i eventually went to his chief and told him I wanted to file harassment charges. Haven't seen or dealt with that faggot since then.
PS, our team won stats that year and seeing that faggot in the stands when we won was the best feeling ever.
>Out jogging one evening
>Suddenly police car pulls up next to me
>Cop rolls down window
>"Have you seen anyone carrying a door around here?"
>No I haven't.
>Start jogging again
>See a bunch of people out front a house
>House has no front door
>They're arguing about what to cover it with for the night
>Somebody stole a door
>2 friends from high school
>are now cops
>drinking at other friends apartment one night, go out front for a smoke, bring drinks
>"isn't it illegal to carry open liquor in public?"
>cop friends reply "who gives a shit, we're cops"
had a chuckle
>Not a bad driver
>Even so I get pulled over
>Very scared, its my first time
>Effin cop wants to charge me shit, checks the car
>Returns and sees I'm fine
>"Gonna need you license and registration"
>"Oh one sec let me get it"
>Not above my sun blocker
>Not in my glovebox
>Asshole brother took it probably
>"Give me your information"
>"I'm sorry sir my brother has it"
>"eh, I'm serious" then I say
>"You're pulling me over for no reason
>"Oh really?" Checks my trunk. Finds the body
>"Unit 15 I need backup"
>Under my seat I have a gun
>Point it at the officer, shoot and book it the fuck out of there, still in hiding
>Read the first letter of each sentence
>Asked by AV vendor to sit on some panel talking about internet security
>Had to sit through four hour exercise in how I had be polite and professional and shit
>"Surprise, here's a cop on the panel"
>First question, I get asked if people should call the cops every time they receive an email with a virus
>I suggest not wasting police time
>Cop launches into autistic rage about how it's illegal to choose not to report a crime
>Spends a solid hour on the panel talking about how "blokes like him should be in jail"
>Just sat there taking it because I was trying to be professional
>AV vendor explains it was exactly what they planned
>Fuck you McAfee
>me and some friends fucking around after school
>pretend like we are throwing rocks at cars to piss people off
>6 foot tall fucker gets out of his car
>"I'm a police officer and you are getting in my car"
>me and my friend do boxing
>he sucker punches this off duty cop in the nose
>we fucking ditch
>check local news
>"police are investigating a brutal attack on a police officer"
mfw we left this fucker out cold on the sidewalk outside my house
had once 3 cops standing for 40mins in my livingroom trying to reach their "Expert" because they didn´t know some specific weapons law, didnt believe me, and never heard of google.
and all because some fucking handyman i hired pissed himself when he saw my guns
after 40min they left, but u could see that they were really pissed they could not book me or take away my stuff
I got 2 uncles who are cops.. they are good men but still. There are too many dicks in uniform now a days. Even they think so.
> Picking parents up one day from airport after they decided to come visit me.
> Get pulled over on the way there at around 430pm
> Cop asks me if I have been drinking
> What? Tell him no, that I am getting my parents from the air port.
> Asks me if he can search my vehicle
> Um... no sir, I am sorry but I do not want to make my parents wait after a 5 hour flight.
> He gets pissed and proceeds to tell me how he is searching my car whether I agree or not.
> Refuse to let him, he calls in a k-9.
> K-9 comes and does a walk around.
> Cop tells me the k-9 alerted to smelling something in the car.
> Wtf!? thjere is no way that is possible.
> he rips my car apart for the next 30 minutes.
> literally throws everything in my car out on the side of the road
> Finds nothing, gets even more pissed and screams at me to get my shit off his road.
> storms back to his car and peels out pulling away.
I was an hour late picking my parents up all because some asshole cop needed to prove he had the power to do what he wanted.
>be stupid 18 shit
>there was a music festival and one of my friends was part of the staff
>go there, after the concert, chill with him drink a couple of beers near the entrance
>two cops arrest us for drinking on the street
>took us into a car
>no handcuffs or anything, just "go there, we're taking you to the precinct"
>still had a beer each of us
>drink in the police car
>couple of streets later, they say "how much do you have"
>give them the equivalent of around 50 US dlls
>get out with our now empty beer bottles
>be about 2 years ago
>around 4 am
>high on oxy and weed
>fuck me need some coke to get things going again
>get in my car and drive to one the shittiest neighboorhoods in town
>have in my i live in Brazil and was driving a reasonably luxury vehicle for Brazil standards
>drive about 20 minutes and start entering the shitty neighboord and go for the spot the kids are usually dealing
>cop car out of nowhere
>pull me over
>im clearly high on something
>they keep harassing me for over 2 hours asking what i was doing there
>i just said i felt like going for a drive
>had a oxy/weedy grim on my face the whole time
>eventually they let me got
>mfw just didnt get beaten up becouse i was clearly upper class
>this particular day i was using a shitty car from my company cuz mine was in the mechanic
>be driving around with gf
>we stop at a place we usually go smoke weed, but to fuck
>its around 2 am
>mid fuck 2 suvs come out of fucking nowhere
>cops get out with machine guns screaming like apes for me to get out of the car
>cops shot people over nothing here so i just get out
>mfw i have no pants and a condom on my dick
>they search the car and find some empty cocaine containers and a bag with about 1 ounce of weed
>they go full nigger on me, 5 of them surround my asking all sorts of shit and screaming
>have my gf call my father asap
>dad comes pimping in his jag
>bribes the cops
I genuinely felt like i was going to get beaten up like a proper nigger that day
>gf gets ticket, I give her a ride to court
>in courtroom just minding my own business while we wait for gf to be called
>cell phone in room next door begins going off
>can hear nigger court employees in next room laughing loudly
>cell phone next door still going off
>judge says whoever has that cell phone better turn it off
>no one in courtroom has cell phone
>cop starts walking around trying to figure out who has cell phone
>cell phone still ringing, it's clearly in another room on the other side of the wall
>judge and cop think I'm the one with the cell phone
>cell phone still ringing, cop is right next to me
>I politely say I don't have a cell phone on me.
>judge doesn't buy it...
>cop asks me to empty pockets
>total strangers begin to say it's not and it's coming crom next door
>cop still thinks it's me
>practically strip searches me right there
>not sure what to do, don't want to be in contempt of court so stay cool
>cop is patting me down 100%
>phone still ringing next door
>wtf this isn't funny anymore
>gf begins to get pissed at me
>didn't do nuffin
>despite strip search judge still thinks I'm the one with the cell phone
>help me lord
>everyone else in court is like wtf
>finally cell phone stops ringing
>judges gives me stern warning
>niggers in room next door still laughing
>pay gf fine and court costs and get the hell out of there as fast as I can
>fuck the police state
>drink a shit ton of 151 and beer at friends birthday party
>decide we're gonna fuck around on our motorcycles in the parking lot
>am so blacked out I hop on and just leave lol
>pulled up to a stop sign and fell over
>too drunk to get bike back up
>crawl onto old ladies front porch and bang on the door thinking that I'm home
>black out completely
>"Anon your here, get out!"
>wake up in back of police car at the station
>have to piss like a motherfucker
>think I might piss myself if I'm not careful
>"Hey officer, I need to go... really badly"
>officer mcdouche says that he needs to fingerprint and get me "processed" first
>I stand at door and tell him and the other officer that I'm either gonna piss right here, or I'm gonna piss in the bathroom as soon as we get in, their choice... but I'm -not- pissing on myself
>"We gotta get you processed first"
>whip out dick in front of officers and piss near the door (we're in like a basement parking deck type thing)
>their jaws drop, and don't even know what to do about me pissing...
>I get so angry that I was forced to piss that I start going off on them and everyone in the station
>"FUCK YOU I ain't signing shit, I'm not taking any breathalyzer tests, I ain't sayin shit to nobody fuck ya'll"
>spit at the ccbi lady and call her a fat bitch
>eventually get thrown into a holding cell
>CO comes to me take to the magistrate
>"Step on the yellow line, the magistrate is gonna explain a few things"
>Magistrate: "...blah blah blah, motorcycle impounded, blah blah blah, need you to sign..."
>"FUCK YOU FUCK THIS PLACE I'M NOT SIGNING SHIT MOTHERFUCKER"
>then I do what was later refered to as a "masturbatorial gesture" towards the magistrate, according to the factual basis given by the prosecutor
Got slapped with an instantaneous contempt of court charge, which is an automatic 30 day sentence, no trial, no bail, no nothing, just straight 30 days right on the spot.
Was pretty cool, would do again
I also have one from when i was studying in New Zealand
>smoking weed and drinking vodka with a couple other brazilians in a park
>cop comes out of nowhere
>we tell him how we are all foreigners
>cop smokes weed with us
>mfw chillest cop on earth
Grew up in a small town. remember one night out at the bars when all of sudden I see a car flying down main street. Turns into a local pool and i proceed to watch 4 girls and 3 guys pile out of the car. they are all obviously drunk as fuck. me and a few friends decided to check out what was going on. We watched these 7 asshoels drunkenly climb over the fence and start swimming. One of my bros is the pool supervisor so he calls the cops. Cops show up, go into the pool and then come back out, They tell my friend not to worry about it, that they aren;t doing anything wrong. He gets pissed and tells them they are trespassing and clearly breaking the law. they tell him to shut up and leave.
Turns out the 3 guys were off duty cops. Drunk as fuck driving around with 4 girls who were in high school. When he approached them as they left they just laughed at him, told him he can;t do shit and got in their car and sped off.
Those 3 dick head cops who were driving around drunk as fuck still are cops in that town.
>Have an emergency
>call the police
>They come and help
>Thank them profusely
>Call them dogs and accuse them of corruption when they leave #yolo #swag #being this edgy #op is a faggot
I don't understand this need to be a civil rights crusader when it comes to simple car searches. Sure its bad, but you can make a complaint afterwards. If if he's getting 10 complaints a month about unjustified searches he's probably going to get into more trouble than you.
>edgy retard back in year 9
>loitering at shopping centre after school with mates
>decide that stealing a boost from local deli is a good idea
>a few centimetres from being in my pocket, someone grabs my arm and the boost
>its the notoriously whorish old lady worker
>she drags me by the arm to the back of the store and tells me to sit down
>at this point i could have stolen the multitude of $50 notes they had left on the bench (must have been counting them) and ran out the door that was 2 metres in front of me
>i was alone out here but decided not to
>soon after police arrive, handcuff me and put me in back of paddywagon
>getting grilled at the police station, get fingerprints done and all that jazz before mum comes down
>shes extremely disappoint
>turns out i didnt really get a juvenille record like they told me, the police were just scaring me straight (it worked)
>turns out that old bitch got fired recently anyway because of numerous complaints about her being an old bitch
but wait, theres more. welcome to cringe world
>told all my friends that i had pocketed no less than 13 chocolate bars in an attempt to look more bad ass
>getting questioned about it every day at school
>being an autistic edgy kid i told all sorts of lies about how the police swore at me, the old lady tried to hit me, how i did in fact steal some of that money etc
>tfw im sure they all knew i was talking mad shit
good thing i see none of those people any more, i dont want to relive these feels IRL
>23 or 24
>be having a little party with some friends
>be a little drunk but need more booze
>me and friend jump in his car and head across town to liquor store
>buy another case of beer, some liquor, and I grab a couple 40's
>DUI check point
>friend freaks out because he's drunker than I am
>friend climbs into the back I move to the driver seat
>next in line
>cops take for ever talking to the people in the car ahead of us
>finally they have the car pull off the road and make the driver get out
>SHIT SHIT SHIT
>cop motions for us to more up
>"Evening gentlemen ya'll been drinking this evening"
>stare straight ahead the whole time "...no"
>"Alright you boys be safe"
>look back at friend then wave at officer and get the hell out of there
I had broke no law, and I had nothing in my car. If I was drunk or driving like a lunatic I would understand a cop wanting to search my car. Wanting to search it for no fucking reason? Hell no. What kind of man would ever bow down and let a cop do that shit? I served 5 combat tours in Iraq and Afghanistan defending the rights of Americans. there is no fucking way I am going to let some 2 bit chump cops trample mine for no fucking reason.
I know, right? As if anon could get a gf. Puh-leeze.
>be drunk as shit
>swerving all over the road
>get pulled over
>jump out screaming at cop saying "who the hell you think you are!?!?!"
>cop instantly goes meek and mild
>"I'm sorry sir, I didn't mean to offend you"
>tell cop to get back in his car before I beat his pig ass
>cop nods, bows to me, and rushes back to his car like a good little piggy
>drives off, never even glances at me as he goes by
>cops ain't shit but ho's and tricks, yo
>last one to see a missing person
>not a suspect
Yeah fucking right you weren't. How old are you? You're awfully naive. I bet you anything they'd bring you in as the number one suspect if they found his body.
Dude fuck that. I should not have to file a complaint. How do you even think it is okay for a cop to do that? He pulled me over because of the tint on my windows, which were legal. Maybe you are a boot lickng faggot, but I am not. I would not allow a cop to just search my car for no reason. get the fuck outta here anon, cowards like you are embarrassing.
Like I said, If I had broken some las I would understand it.. bnut just asking me casually, and then getting pissed when I said no was over the top. Why would he ask if he would only get pissed if I said no? Fuck that man, and fuck any body who is such a bitch that they bend over when the cops tell them too.
>be next door to some 17 year old dingleburg
>his gf drives up and enters his house
>"OH MY GOD NO HE DID NOT"
>promptly inform the authorities that under aged sex is most likely taking place within 5 miles of my residency
>I can almost hear their illicit moans coming from next door
>the moans in my head get louder and the sin seeps in from under my front door
>I shriek at the tops of my lungs
>"Sir, are you okay?"
>"THEY'RE FUCKING. THE LADY IS FUCKING THAT LITTLE BOY! THAT POOR, INNOCENT CHILD!"
>I roll on the floor holding onto my snuggie as I bump into the coffee table still waiting on the phone
>hear a car pull up
>the line is dead so I hang up and go to my window
>an officer is exiting his vehicle
>I swiftly run into my room and grab my hamster from his glass prison
>I run back to the window and begin petting my furry soul mate while kissing him gently on the lips
>he bites me but I don't care, I know this is a sign of love
>lick the blood from my lips and pop a boner as I see the officer speaking to my neighbors
>they look confused
>so does the officer
>I gently push Sir Cornmeal up my ass (that's my hamster lover)
>I urinate with pleasure as I watch how nervous my neighbors have become
>the officer leaves without arresting anyone
>I furiously masturbate
>I run outside completely naked besides my snuggie, the feeling of small claws scratching away at my insides
>I knock on my neighbors door
>"Jesus christ, what is it now!?"
>They open the door
>I get on the floor and do the dinosaur
>I cum everywhere as I spin, still wearing my snuggie
>run back home like nothing happens
>take the worst shit ever
>rest in peace Sir Cornmeal
Ps, I was able to lodge a complain. I was able to tell his chief how he became extremely angry and aggressive when I told him he couldn't search my vehicle. I wasn't a smart ass with him, I simply said I was in a rush and that he couldn't search it. He got in more trouble from tearing the car apart and finding nothing. Luckily, my best friend is the nephew of the chief. He chewed the prick cop out and when I was filing the complaint he made the cop come out and apologize to me. the
>be me, be 19
>no license, no shoes, no seatbelt, high as fuck driving 17 mph over at 1am
>honestly thought i was only going 10 over
>see the red and blue as my gf in the passenger seat is packing the next bowl
>she says 'i think thats for us'
>fuck, pull over
>officer walks up 'smells like weed'
>tell him everything up front, hand over my bowl weed
>asks me to get out so he can handcuff me, asks me if i have any shoes i can wear
>takes me to the station barefoot
>figure fuck it, no reason to get mad its my stupid fault
>start talking to the cop about medicinal weed and he tells me a story about a kid who called him after being arrested, asking if he could have his bong after they were done with it claiming it was a work of art
>genuine keks were had
>spend the time getting fingerprinted telling them about my first run in with the cops when i was 10
>>long story short, friend and i were playing on the schoolyard late at night, cops say we're trespassing, friend tries to give fake name, cop asks him to spell it, twice, he cant the second time, he takes us in
>continue to make them laugh although im fucked
>ask if im staying in jail for the night
>they kek 'this isnt fucking tv kid'
All in all i only paid 300, my gf didnt even get arrested. Mfw
>smoking weed at my house
>older brother and friend come in drunk
>they smoke some weed
>friend wants to get snacks so we goto 711
>walk by cop car on the way there, think nothing of it
>we take the same way back up
>friend is drunk and high as shit he falls over in direct view of the cops
>flash their lights and drive over from across the street
>arrest my friend for drunk in public
>ask me if i've been drinking, say no
>ask if i've been smoking, say yes
>ask if my parents know, lie and say yeah
>they just take me home and tell my dad i was out past curfew and give my my brothers friends M&Ms he bought, give them to my dad
>never get in trouble.
>was a raver back then, did shitload of drugs
>hanging out at neighborhood park
>1am, snorting lines of coke off a picnic table
>big pile of coke
>cops pull into parking lot, shine their bullshit ass spotlight at us
>buddy says 'just stand up and walk'
but what about the-
>'just do it'
>walking towards cops, they get out and harass us
>digging through pockets, dont find shit
>'wtf u guys doing'
>'we know you guys are up to something, motherfuckers'
>'the fuck outta here'
>walk to buddy's house, drink some beers
>go back half hour later, snort the pile of coke
Fuck the police
>Call cops because rental car is broken into while I'm getting gas and I can't finish moving without a police report.
>no one comes
>call 3 more times over the next 7 hours
>cop comes, gives me a fix-it ticket for the broken window.
>it's a rental.
>and even if it were mine to fix, I'm not driving back through three states to show you the fucking thing.
>warrant for arrest
>Driving through Nebraska.
>Car goes flying past us.
>cop comes barreling up, everyone pulls to the side.
>He pulls over behind me
>gives me a $160 ticket
>me: "95??? In this car? It doesn't even do 70 flat out with a tailwind...
>mah radar don't lie anon, see you in court
>anon is not spending even more money taking days off work driving back to fucking Nebraska to fight an erroneous ticket.
>warrant for arrest in Nebraska too
>uhaul breaks an axle crossing thru rural alabama moving back east from military service.
>pulled over with clearly busted axle right on the shoulder
>walking hoping to reach signs of life in the direction I haven't been, because it's been 20 miles since the last desolate farm road crossing.
>walk two hours
>August, hot as fuck,
>running out of water
>squad car approaching
>not slowing down
>jumping up and down
>stepping out into the highway waving like a lunatic
>passes right by, waves back at me
>Walk across 7 muddy farm fields
>find a crop duster hangar
>sleep overnight on front stoop
>pilots wake me in the am
>heatstroke, near fucking death
>three days in hospital
>get dropped off back at car by emit on his way home
>tickets all over truck
>warrant for arrest in Alabama
Oh yes. I have more.
Well I feel bad for you. You may call it pride, I call it having a spine. A random search is unacceptable. Like I said, I spent 45 months in war zones because I believe in the rights given to me by the constitutiion. I will be damned if I just sit there and let some dick head cop trample on them. Its not a matter of pride, it's a matter of being man enough to stand up for what you believe in.
>be living with some friends bouncing from couch to couch apartment to apartment
>doing video editing contracts till I can afford my own place
>have two duffle bags full of clothes, two computers, monitor, laptop, guitars, amp, mics, and like my phone and ipod, roughly 2000 in cash
>get pulled over for "refusing to merge for an emergency vehicle"
>You have a lot of stuff in your car son
>tell him im staying with some friends
>he asks me if i have receipts for anything
>so thats when I find myself handcuffed sitting on the curb while my car is being searched
>they find a roach
>sir you are under arrest for possessing stolen goods and having a controlled substance
>after about 6 months in and out of court I got most of my shit back
>my computers were given back as empty cases and two cardboard boxes full of parts
>cops got to keep the cash because "I intended to use it for purchasing drugs"
Driving home from work one day going about 60km/hr. Zone out for a split second as sun glares into my eyes. Hit a kid biking across a crosswalk. Cops were real nice about it, charged me AND the kid with minor traffic violations.
>walking home with a couple of mates late at night
>idiot mate throws a rock at a passing car
>misses completely, driver is still pissed
>turns around, floors it right towards us
>crazy fuck is up on the footpath
>jump the nearest fence, go through two backyards and hide in some dudes carport for a bit
>light turns on
>dude opens his door, looks at us, says he's calling the cops
>whatever, we keep walking home
>cop rolls up 3 blocks later
>throws us in the car and takes us to the station
>we were only 15
>apparently we were stealing the car that was in the carport, and apparently we scratched it to shit
>told our story
>cop called us "lying little shits"
>cop takes us home, we get a warning and have to write a letter to apologise
we were pissed as hell.
>3 weeks later
>scratch the fuck out of the dudes car
>run home right after, get into bed and message my buddies, tell them the good news
>mfw the dude died of prostate cancer a month later
>Driving to work on the trans canada highway
>06:40 Sunday (roughly)
>Ideal driving conditions, so why not got 120kph?
>Cop camped out on Galardi overpass is why
>See his lights turn on in my rearview
>Driving 2006 Lancer Ralliart
>How fast do those police chases on TV go?
>Go that fast to stay ahead of him
>Stayed ahead of him until big curve before Willingdon exit
>Rig with a trailer is in the passing lane
>Pull up parralel to cab in the slow lane
>Cruiser whizzes past about 20 seconds later in the HOV (carpool) lane
>Get to work a bit early
Still feels good man.
But the cop was in the wrong, he was going to get into trouble no matter what. I don't see the need to put yourself in unnecessary danger. You had already won, you were just giving him the opportunity to win.
>Driving at night
>Cop pulls me over
>"Have you been drinking?"
>Can't. Makes me vomit.
>"Any illegal substances in the car?"
>Just a baseball bat in case I get jacked
>Look in back of car real quick.
>"Clown, hooker, or combo?"
>Just stares at me.
>"Hey, she asked if I wanted to see a balloon animal, I said yes, and then suddenly things got out of hand..."
>"...you can go now."
Cops kill innocent people all the time and hardly receive a slap on the wrist. Had I not known the people I know he would have never even been spoken to about it. If a cop is in the wrong it is a persons duty to stand firm against them. I never raised my voice or became hostile with him. I sat back and let him do his bs search. Had I not taken a stand he would have done it anyway and never would he have been reprimanded for it. People need to stand up for their rights instead of letting cops do what they want out of fear.
>first LSD trip years ago
>at McDonalds with cousin
>5 hours into trip
>riding our bikes home
>patrol car goes by at 30 MPH on the other side of the highway
>speeds up, pulls a uturn and turns his lights on
>cops ask why were out so late
>no lights on bike
>I'm a minor
>they let us go
>pretty sure I didn't even give him my full address
>he asked me what color my eyes were, twice, because he couldn't tell
>mfw the entire time
Same here anon.
I didn't make a commitment to risk my life and drop bombs on cities full of people and have my friends killed serving this country defending its constitution just to see some fucking local hired vigilante with a gun trample it in some pathetic showcase of provincial authoritarianism. No way.
>last year of Highschool
>got kicked out of the best public Highschool in the state (I live in Aus so our public schools arn't like refugee camps with colouring books)
>moved to the most derro school in the middle of buttfuckall
>hanging with my punk buddies we'll call them Edward and Dammo
>Ed is new to Aus and is from the UK total punk
>Dammo is a crusty punk and is a bum
>be at the mall car park
>be pulled over by boys in blue cause Dammo looks sus as fuck
>be only 1 cop, he searches Ed and I first
>tells Dammo to put his hands on the car to get searched
>Dammo has a whole fucking narcotics lab in his pants (see pic)
>Dammo starts to put his hands up and then bam outta nowhere elbows the pig in the jaw
>Ed and Dammo bolt in different directions
>be me be upper mid class never had a run in with the cops
>freak the fuck out
>dunno if i should help the pig or bolt
>piss bolt to trainstation run as far and as fast away and never look back
>Be me like 4-5 years ago
>Damn dawg hecka hungries
>Me and bro decide to roll down the street for some burgers
>Drive out of the neighborhood streets
>Get to main street
>Take a left on main street after metro bus passes
>Metro stops to pick up
>Stop behind Metro
>Car from behind speeding, passes me and bus in middle lane.
>Seconds later cop rolls by
>Stops behind me
>Bus goes, we all go
>Cop decides to pull me over
>Rolls down window
>Cop says, I saw you speeding
>Huh? When you saw me we were both behind the bus.
>Realized it was the car that passed me and bus he was following.
>Yo Copper, you must be blind. Our cars nothing alike.
>Cop asks for ID
>Notices I live just up the street
>Ok on your way
>ride bicycle to a friends house
>we drink 5-6 beers
>before i turn right i have the idea to walk besides the bike
>after the corner there were the pigs
>oink oink show us some id
>forgot ID, i give them the information, they use their device to see if the ID picture is indeed me
>one of the cops wants to give me bullshit, asks me for papers on my bike
>i ask him if he rides his while having proof it's his bike
>asks my why i don't have reflector vest and a helmet on
>i just walked beside it
>the device finally shows them my ID picture
>what color t-shirt were you wearing in that picture
>it's when i snapped. Wtf question is that? Do you know what color t-shirt you were wearing? This is retarded
>look, son, cooperate
>other cop: leave him be, we were messing with you, you're free to go
>21, haven't been out to bars that much yet
>got wasted with a few friends at a bar
>someone suggests we drive to another place they know of
>being an immature faggot; hell yea I'm down, let's go
>get in my car with 8/10 latina
>crank the car up and blast the music
>latina leaves and I pass out with the car running like an ass hole
>TAP TAP TAP ohwtf.jpg
>cops knocking on my 5% tinted window
>still hammered, I keep my composure and swear I wasn't going to drive anywhere.
>well we could give you a DUI because the key is in the ignition.
>visibly bummed but not being a dramatic faggot
>I remember bits and pieces of cop car lights and a few cops standing around as I talked to them and since I wasn't falling over or being a shithead, they let me lock my keys in the car and went on their way.
>I don't remember them leaving but I do remember getting my senses together after sitting by my car for who knows how long
>guess I will call someone to come scoop me up...
>my fucking phone is in the console
>It looks like a fucking ghost town at 4 a.m.
>proceed to walk 30-45 minutes until I find a hotel
>pay 100 bucks to sleep for 5 hours
>use the hotel phone to call the only number I have memorized to bring my spare key and look for my car for another 30 minutes.
>could've just got a damn cab for 20 bucks.
Civil court, complaints, and public campaigns? Are you fucking serious? Or you just tell the cops no when they are wrong. Anything they do after that only makes your case even stronger. You sound like a pussy anon. Poor you.
I was not looking to get the cop into trouble at all. It was the cop who did that to himself. I was looking to pick my parents up. He was a dick head, plain and simple, and I will never just bow down to a man like him. A man with a 2 year degree and a shiny badge who thinks he is some sort of god among mere mortals. After 12 years in the Marines I will be damned if I let some asshole cop treat me like a criminal when I have done nothing wrong. I could've sued the fuck out of the department, but I let it go because it would only cost tax payers money and the cop would have maybe received a paid vacation before returning to work with an even bigger chip on his shoulder.
>3rd year after college move to another state in a small town
>about 6 months in roomate has a huge party.
>a goodtime was had by all
>3 am and just the roomates and a friend or two left
>decide its a good time to play horseshoes in the backyard
>in the middle of the game drunk roomate manages to spot cops driving on next road up
>Roomate amazingly on the ball, runs inside and locks every door to home and turns off lights
>radio left playing on back porch
>3 cop cars and paddy wagon come to house
>not there to issue a warning
>attempt to go inside; check every door to see if open
>check all cars to see if open
>bang on front door; demand it be opened
>threaten to break down door
>say they are going to get warrant and come back
>fuck off and don't come back
>take radio and pot plant from back deck
>fast forward 1 month
>knock on front door
>what is your name ?
>do you live here ?
>where were you the night of XX/XX/XX ?
>me - sorry I am not going to answer any more questions
>next day warrant out for my arrest for pot possession
>2 months and $1000 later case is dismissed
>Small town PD with too many cops = assholes
>Driving cross country to visit my grandmother
>Minding my own goddamn business
>Highway patrolman pulls me over for absolutely no reason
>I'm polite to him, he is belligerent and keeps calling me "boy"
>Asks if he can search my car ("Make this easy fer yerself and says I ken search this VEE-HICKLE."
>I say no
>He says "I smell mary-jane-wana!" (He didn't, there was none)
>He begins an illegal search of my vee hickle
>I look around to see if there anyone else around or another cop in his car, there isn't
>He has his back to me like the cocky imbecile he is
>Draw my sidearm and put a .45 in the back of his skull
>Drag his fat corpse back to his patrol car, douse them both is gasoline and torch it
>Continue driving to grandma's house
>Sleep like a baby
>B me @ 18
>work nights at convenience store
>street person roles in with new bronco
>where u get that?
>u said u never had a job
>stole it from douche n a bar drunk
> wanna go for spin
> leave store unintended for an hour
>riding in stolen car
>pull over in dark ally
> help strip stereo system out
>drive back to work
>went to some late night bowling thing with coworkers a couple years ago
>one coworker drove me because I planned on drinking but she wasn't going to
>she left early, so I got a ride with a different guy who had a little less to drink than me
>pull out of the parking lot
>can clearly see cop car in the mall parking lot across the road
>pretty sure coworking isn't driving completely straight
>cop doesn't notice even though there's pretty much no other cars out that late
>get home without incident
>on video chat with friend
>he pulls out a gun on camera
>says hes gonna shoot up a mall then himself
>i call cops
>fempig comes to house
>asks me the usual questions
>proceeds to call me a "drama queen"
>i call her a pig
>calls me a bully
>calls for backup
something proving this to be true. What you have provided is not enough and anyone can do it
Absolutely true: New haven police department, Pennsylvania, 3:22 pm, called from and address on West Havenford street 2/16/2012
Pigs name: Lashanda Watermelon
>Go to toga party
>Have a dagger cuz "I'm off to kill Caesar!"
>Not actually a toga party, asshole friends were kidding
>FF to later in the night, drunk out the front talking to mate
>Cops materialise from thin air, question me about the plastic dagger with the paint flaking off
>drunk me tries to explain and pulls out dagger and puts the edge on my hand to show its not sharp
>Cops nearly pull their guns out and start yelling at me to drop the weapon
>slowly put plastic toy dagger on the ground
>"Back the fuck up!".mp4
>Cops pick up the dagger and inspect it, cop starts laughing his ass off
>chain reaction of laughter
>cop face drops then looks me dead in the eyes and snaps my dagger
So at the end of the night I nearly got arrested, I made out with some 6/10 grill, and that asshole ones me $2.99
> Be me
> Be young balck male
> Take a bunch of mushrooms
> freak out, run in traffic
>Cops called chase me to my aunties
>I freak out
>They shoot me 5 times
> Tony Robinson
>travel to JFK
>asked to step out into room for further questions
>>be asked for documents & verification of purpose of visit
>be travelling because you work in consulting, client paying for me for services, paying for trip, housing and per diem
>take my laptop & electronic equipment
>take my prints, retina scan & let me go after confirmation of work status
>spends all 2 weeks in USA being followed BY FBI/NSA
>makes work colleagues uneasy out in public with me in NYC
>be me - Asian (UK-Pakistani) young male.
I await your arrival eagerly. Once you get past my gate, if you have no provided a warrant to the camera posted there, you will be met with a hail of glorious 7.62 fire. Posted signs should suffice in court and I got enough money to ensure the self defense argument stands.
PS: watch out for the spikes on the drive way, and the barriers will slow you down enough if the spides don't do the job.
>live in mid Atlantic
> driving to work on the highway
>freezing day after a warm day; roads icy
>Idiot state troopers driving 3 abrest across highway at 35 MPH with lights on trying to slow down traffic
>massive jam-up behind them; fender bender happens in next lane as cars compress
>move over lane by lane until I am behind cops
>cop in front speeds up and gets in front of other cop
>I fill gap - driving about 35 MPH
>cop slows down until I am in front of him
>cop gets behind me and turns on siren
>pulls me over
>charge ? Reckless Driving
>I argue - he walks away while I am talking saying "Tell it to the Judge"
>2 months later - go to court
>have to take 1/2 off work
>plead innocent so have to wiat 3 hours for case to be called
>listen as Judge finds everyone in front of me guilty
>getting really angry
>finally get called
>judge asks for my story - I explain conditions and situation in a very pissed off voice
> I explain I was ticked for nothing
> Cop counters I had one headlight out and my highbeams on (I was driving a beater).
>Judge says that was not the charge
>Judge asks how fast I was going
>cop says he doesn't know
>Judge says "Case Dismissed"
>I grin at the cop and give my most sarcastic thank you
fuck you faggot.. atleast i got a job.. u fucking american scum treating everybody like criminals.. wen yr ppl r fucking alpha- terriortists of the world.
& u surprised the world hates u. china & russia will be yr end faggot.
Allahu Akbar..Allahu Akbar
Only time I interact with the police, its always good. Never had a bad one
>bike to work
>working at McShits for college
>customer in drive thru asks for manager
>5 mins go, manager shows up
>overhear customer say my bike was being stole
>run outside like a mad man
>Talk to homeless dude outfront
>tips me off about selling bikes at the shit part of town
>call up a ride and get down there
>see the local crack head on my bike
>fucking floor it
>He goes into cholo territory
>on phone with police, chasing him down
>lost him for a few minutes
>police stop one guy on a bike
>talk to officer
>we chitchat after he takes a report
>crack a few jokes
>offers me a front seat ride back to work
>give him a free apple pie
>be me celebrating my 18th birthday with freinds
>we decide to head to da club even tho we're all plastered
>the club watchman lets us in
>he then proceeds to throw us out 6 minutes later for being too drunk (this was after we paid the entrence fee and too early for us to drink anymore
>fucking mad m8
>proceed to yell at the watchman for 20 minutes straight telling him what a pathetic job he has etc etc
>he punches me in the face and we begin to wrestle
>he tells them i assaulted him
>about 6 witnesses step up and tell the cops he hit me first
>mfw the cops take the watchman away
>mfw the cops apologize for his behavior
>mfw the club has to close for the night cuz no bouncer
>mfw i live in Sweden
>driving 20km home
>speed limit 60km/h, doing 140km/h because 3am
>notice car behind me
>car is following me
>get about 4km speeding
>car is keeping up, but fair distance behind
>decide to pull over and sus it out
>party lights immediately
>cop comes to window
>Cop: "Having a good night?"
>Me: "Yeah, it's been alright. You?"
>Cop: "Pretty slow. Your tail light is out."
>Me: "I wasn't aware, thanks for letting me know."
>Cop: "Get it fixed. Have a good one."
And off I went.
Could have had my car impounded and license suspended on the spot but instead he just... didn't do his job.
>People start banging my front door
>Go up to the door and hear them yelling to let them in
>Tell them to piss off
>climb up my first floor bedroom window and start hitting it
>wave a hatchet around, they leave
>call cops for burglary
>Cops come but talk to them first because they are in the street
>Cops come up to my door
>shine their pocketlight into my eyes so I have to squint and be generally pretty rude
>They told the police they lived here while they are officially registered in another part of the country
>Police accuse me of being drunk
>Don't arrest or take them downtown, instead bring them to the train station
>mfw being drunk in our own house isn't even a crime
>mfw police chose burglars side over the resident of the house they were trying to get in to
>Just picked up some weed to smoke up with buddies playing MK and shit.
>Cop flashes me two seconds after pick up
>both park up and cop comes over asks if I know why I was pulled over
>literally 1 foot from 2 bags of skunk
>give him my details and shit, he asks to go sit in their car with em
>They sit and talk with me for a minute while their system calls up shit on me/my car
>"So your car tax ran out last month, you seem like an alright guy and you've had no prior offences or dealings with the police so you get away with a warning."
>Sweet merciful Jesus
>They let me drive home, give me a £100 fine and told me that it doesn't touch the road until it's been taxed.
>mfw that cop has a worse sense of smell than me and I've inhaled hydrochloric acid.
i have a shitload of cop stories. one time they searched my house found a pepper spray can on a key chain, really small, and my mom told them it was hers. they violated my probation and i had to do 90 days in jail. One time I was drunk when i got arrested and they wouldn't turn the phone on in the holding cell so i beat on the glass and talked shit to the cops walking by until about 7 of them were waiting outside the holding cell lol, they came in, dipped me on the ground and twisted me up while a big fat one had his knee in my back. Another time a cop stopped me and was holding my hands behind my back with one hand and searching me with the other. he felt my weed because i was selling at the time and i ran. i was about 20 feet away when he said he was gonna taze me so i stopped and he still tackled me into some mud, i was 17 wtf. someone can greentext these to make them more interesting
>Be me, 20 years old
>Renting room from bitch
>Bitch decides to evict me
>Calls huge nigger to threaten me regularly while the eviction goes thru the process
>One day huge nigger confronts me in front yard and I ready 911 on my phone (I dont hit send)
>Phone connects anyway
>I didnt know
>Cops hear nigger confront me
>I realize cops are on phone and say dont come
>They come anyway
>Bitch shows piece of paperwork saying eviction is in process
>Cop says he will arrest me if I dont leave
>I tell him I know my rights and hes a fucking idiot
>Pulls handcuffs, I leave
>Next day sarg comes over and says sorry
>Politely adds that if I do anything illegal they will come back and arrest me. (it was a prop 215 house)
I FUCKING HATE AMERICAN COPS AND THEY ARE WHY I WANT TO LEAVE THIS SHITHOLE
>Live in Lexington, Kentucky
>Really dark tint on window
>Get pulled over because of it
"Since you bought the car like this, if you get this tint taken off, you can get this ticket dismissed."
>Didnt know it was illegal
>Took tint off, went to police station, ticket erased
Eh could've been worse
>hear from neighbour someone may have broken into my flat while i was out of town for christmas and new years
>bus from nelson to dunedin to check flat
>bus drops me off close to police station, so go ask for advice in case some meth head is squatting
>tell me to get campus watch to check out the flat
>cops too lazy to check flat so get underpaid 'security guards' to check it instead
>flat was empty, no squatters, no one got stabbed by a meth head, nothing stolen
>tfw wasted couple of hundred dollars on intercity bus to go to and from city where flat was cos neighbour was paranoid about nothing
>Be me, 15. Finnish guy living in the north.
>Small-ish town. Nothing really ever happens.
>Sleep-over at friends house (inb4 fucking faggots)
>Playing games etc with host and another dude who was there.
>Notice we are out of snacks
>We decide it's a smart idea to take my friends airsoft guns (he had a lot of them)
>We shot lamps, the ground. Even a car because we were so fucking bad ass.
>Notice we are out of snacks. "Shit son"
>We lived about 5 miles from the city and that was the only place you could find a 24/7 shop.
>Friend has a moped and decides to visit the shop. Host wants to join him.
>They tell me to wait outside for them. Said they'll be back in 30min or so.
>I call them and they say "Yeah yeah, there are some people here so just hang tight."
>I sit on the grass, fucking mosquitoes buzzing in my ear
>We lived next to a very small swamp or something, so there were a lot of mosquitoes
>I decide to put all my training from Halo to the test.
>I start shooting the fuckers. I even hit a few of them
>A gray Audi S3 pulls up in the next intersection.
>I turn towards him, with my plastic MP5
>He opens the door, looks at me and this nerd slams the door and speeds away
>I'm like "Well what the fuck was that about" and just continue sitting
>Another 30min pass
>I call my friend that "I'm just gonna go inside"
>They say they're on their way.
>Sneak inside because the dogs are super fucking loud and start barking if someone comes inside.
>This wakes up the parents.
>I'm fucking 15, so I of course try not to wake them up
>Start playing Fallout 3
>"Bout fucking time nigga. Where's my cheese balls and coke?"
>"Shit dude, I think you should look outside, There's like seven or six cop cars outside and an army of cops in full assault gear. Rifles, dogs, vests. The lot
>I'm fucking laughing cause that particular friend was known for talking shit
>I open the blinds.
>Be me, 34 year old stoner in San Francisco.
>notice police car is driving slowing next own car.
>see cruiser pull behind own vehicle
>pray lights don't come on
>police lights flash
>pull over. Be polite as hell
>No I do not know why you pulled me over officer
>My registration is out? I had no idea. Sure let me get my license for you.
>Oh shit I forgot my wallet.
>Cop asks me to exit vehicle.
>Wouldn't be worried about the jar of weed and the little container of hash in my pockets
>if my medical marijuana card wasn't in my wallet back at home
>cop stats feeling my pockets
>says he's looking for my wallet or ID
>I have been searched and arrested for weed in Texas many times
>Mentally shitting bricks, but wearing my cool face.
>Cop feels the jar and the vaporizer next to it in my pocket
>I am shocked when he just keeps feeling around.
>I could have had anything in that jar and he didn't even bother to check.
>He was actually checking for my wallet like he said.
>He looked in my car, no ID or wallet. He calls for cop with computer.
>Cop finds my ID and laughs cause it looks just like me.
>Gives me a fixit ticket that I only have to pay a processing fee for once I present my Drivers License and Registration
>MFW it's good to be white in SF.
>be 17 in high school
>dating 22 year old
>she let's me drive her car
>I have no license and hers is suspended.
>We decide to go up to the mountains and get fucked up.
>pick up buddies and take some weed and vodka
>hours pass. Everyone shitfaced
>I almost snapped my ankle doing some extreme mountain rock jumping
>"don't worry guys I'm good to drive"
>I drive down the mountain at grandma speed. Make it safe
>anon stop by this supermarket.
>parked and see my 2 friends run out with bottles in hand
>They jump in. I floor it.
>Drove about a mile. Turning a corner. See cop behind me.
>I'm high as hell and we just stole bottles.
>Comes up and asks me to roll the window down.
>I pulled you over because you forgot to signal when turning.
>Asks for my license and shit
>I'm 17 and learning how to drive officer. I was just practicing
>Sees about stoned teens in the car
>"Have you been drinking tonight"
>I look at him with bloodshot eyes.
>asks if anyone has a license
>gf gets out and says she does but not on her
>cop looks her name up
>nothing pops up
>did dis bitch give a fake name?
>he tells me to hand the keys over to her and he better not see us driving around anymore
>everything went better than expected
Cops are cool
>smoke weed 'erryday
>chilling in the park one day, huge blunt
>shitty fake bic breaks down
>cop walks by
>ask him for a light
>gives us a light
Dutch police understand
>Didn't talk shit
>I in my dumb ass wisdom realize that they're here because of that plastic airsoft MP5
>"Shit, I should just take it outside and show it to them!"
>In hindsight this would have been a grave mistake
>Thankfully something intervened. For some reason the front door was locked.
>Remember coming in and it was open. Odd.
>Drop the "gun" to a nearby corner.
>As I open the door, the fucking dogs come out of nowhere, run in between my legs to outside
>I see them running towards the cop dogs.
>These were small little fuckers, so I'm thinking "they gon die"
>Śee cops with assault rifles.
>One guy with megaphone starts shouting the usual crap. "Let me see your hands! I'm a faggot!". You know.
>I start moving towards them
>"STOP RIGHT THERE ASSHOLE. DON'T YOU FUCKING MOVE OR WE WILL SHOOT"
>I am fucking terrified.
>A cop comes up, puts me up to a car and pats me down
>I have nothing but my shorts on
>He asks me "Alright, where's the gun."
>"We got a call that some madman was running around shooting passing cars and nearby buildings with an assault weapon"
>"Oh yeah, I'll show it to you". Play that shit cool.
>I reach my hand towards "the gun"
>"Don't touch it!"
>See my hosts parents are up.
>Staring at me.
>Cop takes one look at "the gun".
>"Yeah, it's plastic. False alarm, guys."
>Shit starts to cool down. Cop with beret comes in the house with two other cops.
>Tells me to explain what happened.
>The host and my friend are standing next to me.
>Still scared shitless
>They explain why we shouldn't go around running with "assault weapons" in the middle of the night.
>They leave and to the hosts mother, I'm like "Yeah, I should go home"
>"No, I think that's a bad idea. Now, I want you to go to sleep. All of you."
>We just keep talking about how no-one is gonna believe us.
>yfw you thank your higher power this wasn't
>a coupple of years ago be 17
>live 9 hours from home, have to live in dorm
>stupid cleaning rules
>they come and inspect the 1 day a week
>last sunday, around midnight, was craving a smoke (not weed) was out of rolling papers
>friend gets brilliant idea.
>just make a bong dude
>and so we do, smoke what we craved and did other shit.
>coupple days later
>anon, care to explain this?
>faggot was holding the ghetto bottle bong.
>saying he's sending it to police to get samples.
>i say its clean, we were out of rolling papers.
>think nothing more off it sine i KNOW we only smoked tobacco
>fast forward like a week.
>day off from school for some shit ( can't remember)
>sat up all night playing pc games.
>wake up from loud knock
>OPEN UP ITS THE POLICE
>i (still half asleep) yell back, GO THE FUCK AWAY IM SLEEPING HERE
>once they knock again, telling me to open the door
>again I yell back, GO THE FUCK AWAY OR I WILL KICK YOUR ASS
>(we used to wake each other up at the dorm, if somebody over slept and i thought it was some of my friends)
>open the door, shit its the 5'o
>ask them what they want.
>they ask to come inside
>im being an internet smart ass, ask for warrant
>bla bla bla, building is owned by the school, we don't need one
>anyways, they come in talks about the bong etc
>reasons for concern or whatever.
>do what you want i got no illegal shit here.
>search my dorm room, cant find shit.
>misses my 3g pack of Salvia (wich was legal here at the moment)
>tell them my side of the story
>so you then you got nothing against coming to the station to take a urine test.
>piss in a cup
>let the sick fuck do his test
>weak weak WEAK trails of THC from like 2 weeks ago when we locked down the dorm kitchen to make space cakes.
>they ask me to turn in my essay
>i aint no snitch, say i found the shit on the bus.
>long story short, i had to call home and tell mom and dad about it.
>dad was pretty chill, mom cried ADDICT
>had to regularly come piss
>be me 16 years old
>faggot friend has a fight
>go to back him up just in case any faggots want to jump him
>friend gets beat up by some cholo faggot
>cholo faggots friend pulls out bb-gun painted black so it looks like a real gun
>fucker shoots it in the air
>Fucking see like 5 cop cars come around the corner
>cholo and his friend with bb-gun run away and throw bb-gun into bushes
>they go past us but fucking turn back around and that's where I knew I fucked up.
>like 6 or 7 cops get out of their cars ready to fucking blow our heads off
>"get on the fucking floor!!"
>we all get on the floor
>after a while they told us that someone called them saying someone had a gun.
>cops start searching me and shit.
>one cop takes out my cellphone and asks me "did you ever take this out?"
>I say "no officer"
>he responds with "if you're lying to me i'm going to fuck you, i'm going to fuck you as hard as I can"
>at this point my facial expression is "WTF o_O"
>friends start laughing at me
>cops let us go
>be skateboarding with friends at a library (closed for the day)
>sit down on a bench for smoke break
>cop walks up to us
>compliments us on our excellent maneuverings
>politely tells us to leave
Yeah you keep telling yourself that buddy.
hard to be paranoid when my WHITE murrican collegue points out fags with ear pieces watching all of us drink coffee .. then move away when i walk toward them.
- my employer was even asked to report my activities.
- client apologized for my mistreatment. - reassured me the murrica he knows & loves 'isnt like this'
- padded my expenses, overcharged the faggot & left
- never providing services to american companies ever again.
- donate heavily to civil liberties charity to fight your [and allied] tyranny.
-investing heavily in China & russia now. [beautiful countries BTW]
I went down to Southend last summer and we were walking through the seafront smoking joints and it was okay.
Also we went to tesco in the car and on the way back the police pulled us over, we were all high as fuck but didn't have anything on us, they pulled us over simply because we were a group of young men in a car. Thankfully our driver lives life high so he handled everything without any issue.
Also apparently the cops spoke to me or I spoke to them which I can't remember but I'm Scottish so that could have went badly lol.
Its not common, its only in the last 5 years that western countries such as the US and UK have started trying to add exceptions to their human rights laws and constitutions under the guise of anti-terrorism.
Are you really so stupid?
>Transmission on car blew out
>push car to mechanic's house.
>Backyard not shop & Jetfuel could not melt steel beams,
>mechanic fixing his car to push my car to his shop.
>3 people now girlfriend, mechanic, and me watching him fix car
>Hes putting spark plugs back it.
>Backpack rustle noise.mp3
>Swat Team now breaching back yard of next door neighbors house. House had shed in back.
>SWAT Team surrounds Shed.
>1 Swat Team guy comes over.
"Hey how you guys doin?" *waves hand on top of his AR 15*
>Boom.mp3, Boom.pm3 Boom.mp3* POLICE OPEN THE DOOR!!!
>Swat still talking to us
"Yeah we should be done in a little while"
>Shit happens immediately
>Guy in shed locking himself inside shed.
>They get big door hammer buster thingy.
>swat talking to us turns around
"errrr get inside"
>We are now inside mechanics house
>Bitches next door crying.
>Helicopters making mp3 HD sound.
>see black terrier mix puppy. Hes cute.
>Homie let me have the puppy.
>Puppy is now well and is living healthy life following me everywhere.
>Be me, 19-20 years old on break from college
>Get together with roommate and two local friends in my tiny car
>Time to smoke a blunt
>Pull over into a parking lot for apartments that overlooks local lake
>Proceed to get really high for 40 mins
>Afterwards I suggest we fishbowl that car with my hookah
>Set up hookah in backseat smoke another 40 mins
>Finishing up, see a car park sideways think to myself (nah thats not a cop car)
>Light shining in my window
>Roll down my window, smoke billowing into this cops face
>Cop: "What the hell are you guys doing in here, it looks like a fucking Cheech and Chong movie in here"
>Everyone laughs, explain to him we are smoking hookah and didn't want to do it driving around
>Cop: Well these folks living over here don't know what you're doing, I don't know what you're doing, and frankly I don't want to, so get out of here"
>We make our departure, everything went better than expected.
If police in Nashville, Texas would be like that I'd be soooo happy
>Be me at 15
>Dad died not long before
>We go out shopping
>Come back, My PSP with games, all the money in the house and all the cigs are gone.
>Mom calls cops.
>Cops start interrogating me in the kitchen
>Get told over and over again it was me and they just don't have the evidence.
>Mom starts to believe them
>Police decide not to take it any further
>Mom now believes I broke into our house even though I was out shopping with her.
>just left Goodwill with a nice dress shirt and vest
>for grandpa's funeral
>mom and grandma ask me to stop at Dairy Queen for some banana splits
>nose bleed of this caliber while driving is scary shit
>stick couple napkins in my nose
>I have a huge nose, you shut your face
>I pull in to Dairy Queen parking lot
>pull in behind dumpsters to hide the fact that I'm bleeding to death
>Oooooooh, an empty water bottle!
>I put the bottle to my nose
>bleed in bottle profusely for 20 minutes or so
>a couple people from Arby's and Taco Bell walk by me with huge bags of trash
>they give me horrible looks
>go inside to Dairy Queen and ask to clean up
> exit bathroom to find two cops waiting for me
>they confront me and I'm scared for my fucking life
>they order me to the side of the building to sit at one of the tables
>tell them no, I'd rather stand
>get yelled at and "ordered" to sit again
>tell me they were called in because a "guy was consuming cocaine behind a dumpster"
>I start to laugh
>holy shit the people of the resteraunts around me thought I was consuming cocaine for 20 minutes from a bottle.
>cops are assholes for a bit but then they let me go
Yeah, that was a bad encounter... I had lost a LOT of blood from that nose bleed and was confused as dicks the whole time and light-headed.
>Night time around Christmas time
>sat on a bench in a carpark on the side of the hills overlooking the entire county
>having a couple of spliffs with a friend
>just as we finish a unmarked car rolls up into the car park
>stops by the bench we are sat on
>winds down the window asking what we are doing
>explain we are out on a walk on the hills
>we wish the officer a merry Christmas
>we get one back
>unmarked car drives off
>living in the UK
>calling police cops
>calling mum "mom"
no, you don't live in the UK. Our police are pretty relaxed and professional
Also no officer would ever state intentions regarding a suspect to a civilian, regardless of whether or not theya re the supposed victim and certainly not if they are the main suspect.
Your story is full of shit.
>Be like 13 or 14
>Create fake facebook-profile
>Pretend to be pedophile living close to school
>Send creepy hook-up messages to kids I know
>One kid takes it seriously, tells parents
>They call the cops
>Cops call me
>Mfw I need to go down to the police station for a serious talk
>Shitstorm incoming from parents
britbong here, this is pretty accurate
>out drinking on outskirts of Nottingham
>4 friends one who's "designated driver"
>Designated has drunk about 3 pints and a few shots, definitely over the limit
>leave pub, head for car while acting like idiots
>just after we leave get pulled over
>"you been drinking tonight?"
>driver: yes officer I had one pint
>"well you seem in control I won't do a breathalyser"
>thanks officer, have a good night
Also to any amerifats, why act shirty and defensive when an officer asks you questions. If you're polite and open most likely they'll just let you go.
>inb4 muh pride
have fun in jail for that
>I could post alot of these....
>11 PM at night
>Driving back from Happy Hour in my 1993 BMW M5
>Not drunk but not sober
>Asshole in MB SL600 pulls up next to me at light and asks to race. I politely decline
>Asshole calls me pussy and says he is going to woop my ass all over the road, get mad and say "you're on"
>LIght turns green and drop clutch as 4500 RPM peeling out fast - get the jump on MB
>Concentrating hard and shifting at redline but MB pulls ahead easily - walks me easily before stopping at the next light
>Guy laughs and calls me faggot - I don't react knowing I got beat. Say "What is in that thing ?"
>Ahole says - I dropped a turbo V12 in the car laughing. I don't answer
>Ahole says ":Let's go again" - again I decline
>Light turns green and he takes off. I know corner is ahead and that Aholes hardly ever spend on suspension work so pull up to 110 behind him going into curve.
>Mid curve decide this shit is crazy and release throttle; slow to speed limit
>5 seconds later cop comes roaring up behind me and pulls next to me and slows
>I look at cop and nod to him and he takes off
>I see him turn on his blue lights behind Ahole ahead of me.
>I consider Uturning even though I would be heading away from home
>Second officer pulls behind me and pulls me over
>I sit by roadside for 40 minutes while second officer tells me I have to wait for first officer
>Officer finally comes and says I was racing
>I say no I was not but that Ahole wanted to race but I was not trying
>Officer tells me AHole hot DUI.
>Writes me ticket for Reckless Driving and lets me go
>I hire attorney; gets reduced to improper driving with fine + Class time
>I see Ahole in court looking scared - I laugh
>Ahole looses license for 1 year
It'll be no secret soon, I'm glad to see cops beating the shit out of people. Your country is getting fucking soft, all you little faggots growing up getting what ever you want. Then when you hit the street you have the same attitude
You can claim it's bull, but it's not. And it doesn't matter whether I spell it mom or mum. This does not prove your point.
And yes, most cops are chill. But I have met a decent amount that were absolute cumstains compared to their colleagues.
And if I want to call PC Plum a cop then I can. Just, because you're some disgusting, self-pleasuring English twat doesn't mean you know how every single person speaks. Where I live it's quite common to call a PC a cop instead of a police officer.
>be drunk and on drugs (benzos)
>"i'll brb i'm going to the bathroom" to my friend
>go a few houses down and break some guys back door window
>sneeki breeki inside
>ooo a tv
>don't mind if i do
>waddle back to my house
>"oh fuck, we need to get you out of here"
>go somewhere and black out
>come back to house cops are there
>black out again
>a cop is yelling at me in a cell
>i was tacti-fapping while drunk and on drugs.
>spend a weekend in a shitty town jail
Probation and house arrest.
>park car underground
>entrance is in the middle of a city block
>accident on city block
>debris everywhere, both sides of the block are blocked with tape and police car
>"good evening officer. I park in that garage, am I able to access the entrance"
>"haha. You want me to tell you how to drive? Well, first you're going to open the car door. With your hand. Then you take something called a key. Put that in the ignition and turnnnn itttt"
Etcetera. I have vowed never to help a cop, they are always pieces of shit.
>be 15, one day before 16
>throw mccain chocolate cake off of a building, watch it land on a lady having a smoke
>was shitty but was lols too
>get arrested inside of mall 3 hours later
>cop that handcuffs us has wild look in his eye
>cops handcuff us to each other, 4 of us so pair each
>whispers between me and my mate
>"cmon faggots, try running"
>spend 6 hours in jail, 4 of us, one of our bros was crying, everyone thinks it was me, i think it was bro who told them it was me
was good day, managed to smoke all weed before getting arrested so no probs
>be a potato
>hear knock on door
>mom goes to open door and i follow
>it's the cops
>mike brown din do nuffin
>lunge at cops with screwdriver
>Waiting outside my girlfriend's house for pops to live
>Cops see me alone at night
>Everything's good and I'm nice
>"Well, you're polite and everything's good but pay me a coffe"
>They take 20$ off me and move on
SO someone was mugged by a fucking pirate?
that's pretty funny.....
>driving brand new Prius
>pulled over for driving in white neighborhood
>6 other cops instantly appear all brandish firearms, all screaming conflicting orders
> get shot in face as I try to roll down the window.
>cops accidentally shoot each other in hail of gunfire.
>Swat team appears and shoots other cops as they crush the my Prius with their D.A.R.E MRAP unloading their M-16s on anything that moves.
>Spend the rest of my life in prison for killing 12 police officers and 6 civillians
the cops in Fredonia are even worse
> be me September 2014 college freshman
> 2 miles into the forest
> with 7.5/10 girl chilling and smoking
> I put my arm around her and about to start making out
> see flash lights come
> think it's other people because the area normally has a lot of people there
> see two cops walk up
> take my bowl, take my bowl case, I only had crumbs of weed
> I got a $200 ticket and I never really spoke to that girl
> mfw cops cock blocked me.
>2 miles into the forest
you sure tiw asn't 2 minutes.
2 miles should be a half hour walk at a decent pace in the forest.
No way cops are going to walk for half an hour through the woods for no reason and also be able to find you unless you're near a landmark.
I call bullshit on at least one aspect
>be 16 y/o me
>facial aesthetics of peace and prosperity
>jawline of the gods
>go to a party in my city about 30 mins away from me by train & bus
>drinking with friends, making new friends, mingling
>*a wild bro appears!!*
>"hey anon i got this weeds i want to light up but no papers. you have papers? I'll share!!"
>"hmm lets use this 2L coke bottle and make a bong out of it"
>forty keks how are you planning to do that whatever ok lets do it
>go outside to smoke light up this weeds
>light up and start smoking with 2L coke bottle makeshift bong
>police show up and step out the car
>bong dropped behind the fence
>"hello m8s wat u are doing?"
>"i understand ur at a party but heres the situation"
>"im gonna turn my back for 10 seconds and anything illegal i find on the floor i wont consider you are responsible for"
>"after the 10 seconds i will search you and if i find anything on your persons ur jail"
>drop weeds on floor
>10 secs pass and polanse man turn
>search and no find anything except the spaghetti falling out of my pockets
>get a stop and search ticket confirming they searched us but not find nothing
>everything went better than expected
united kingdom police are ok :)
Enjoy your miserable life, if you think life is all about showing your ego, not taking shit from nobody. I was like that, spent 6 days in jail, 2,000 dollar fine and a felony on my record, i can't even get a fucking job at walmart now because no one wants to hire a god damn felon. I was charged with resisting arrest, not a felony and look at me now. I have a felony. Please explain to me, what the point is about standing tall and being strong when all it will do is just cause more fucking problems then it will fucking solve.
EX Indiana Sheriff Deputy here
Have a shit ton of funny storys from the other side of the coin .But one of my fav runs was.
Setting in my car one night . Get a radio call of two teens in a apartment pool area after hours Dispatch sends 3 cars .
Get there no one there .radio dispatch .No one here .One of the officers sees the gate is unlocked .So what the hell lets make sure no one is here .
Open gate walking around .Nothing .
check bathrooms .I take the men room as Im opening the door I hear .STOP RIGHT THERE !!! MOTHER FUCKER I WILL SHOOT YOU ! I run out and into the woman's room and see one of the other officers in a stall YELLING ! STOP!! MOTHER FUCKER !!
I cant see what going on .pull Tazer .He reaches in and grabs a girl by the hair .Pulls her out I run over and there a guy in there .Dick hard enough to cut diamonds .I grab him >Slam to the floor .the other officer still yelling .WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP ? when I tell you to do something you fucking do it . no answer .whats your name ? no answer .I check the male for weapons .none .check for ID .Officer 3 looking for her ID .Find them Along with school ID's for the Indiana school for the def .
we never told dispatch about what we found
later I asked Officer anon what were they doing ?what did you see ?He said the guy was setting there with his hands up eyes big as fuck and the girls head just kept going up and down the guy was scared as fuck .The girl had no clue I was there . We just let them go .Its not like I didn't do shit like that when I could get away with it and they weren't hurting anyone
> live in Denmark
> cops are usually cool
> i drive an old rusty sleeper with around 200 hp.
> decide that drifting around a roubdabout is a brilliant idea.
> of course the police is right behind me (which i didn't know)
> get pulled over
> asks for licence
> runs me through the system
> find nothing
> tells me to stop driving like a moron
> i agree and he lets me off with a warning
> thank him and drive off
The cops are fucking nice to you in Denmark if you are nice to them too, even though you have done something illegal.
>Fort Lauderdale late 2012
>Let's go to see a movie dude
>Movie is at 21.05
>Drive like batman
>Get in parking lot
>All right Toto, don't be stupid with US cops they are dangerous. Put your hands on the dash board
>Toto doesn't understand english very well
>Cop is up the window
>Cop looks inside and smile a bit
>Toto has his hands up
>Driving way too fast dude
>Yeah I know, we try to catch the movie
>Cops don't know how to deal with passeprts and foreign licenses
>Walk free to pop corn
>circa 2001 (19y/o then)
>Best friend birthday party
>Birthday party was taking place in the holliday mansion of my friend beautifullandscapemiddlefnowhere.jpg
>Be still high as fuck the morning after
>We decide to go to town to get some cigs
>borntobewild.jpg heagbanging.mp3 in the car
>shitty car with no safety belt on backseats
>down the hill we come across cops doing routine checks
>there are just after a Xroad so i decide to dodge them by going left
>trololololol fuckdapolice we take a detour
>we finally arrive in town
>first giratory i hear my friend scream
>STAAAAP STAAAP you mofo
> look in my rearview mirror
>see cops jumping in their car like its ChaseHQ
>Cops notice: no safety belt, no ID on me or them, ask me why i dodged them before, makes me get out of the car
>Scared as fuck, follow him to his car
>invent an excuse for dodging them
>tells me to come and present my ID the morning after
>no bill, nothing.
>about 10 years ago
>cop gets caught banging 14 year old girl
>2 weeks paid suspension
>no sex offender list, no jail time
>mfw he still patrols the small town all day in a brand new dodge charger looking for any reason to give a ticket
>small town IL
>be me driving home after work
>cop pulls me over for doing 51 in a 45
>asks for my license and registration
>hand him my license and registration
>he gives me a warning and thanks me for cooperating
man fuck cops
When I was 14 they nabbed me and 3 friends for "disturbing the peace" and took us to the station. We knew we were in deep shit but I didn't predict what they'd do next. They brought us into a room and made us strip butt naked for a strip search. We all instinctively used our hands to retain a bit of modesty but they made us comb through our hair and lift our arms to check there. They looked in our mouths, on our hands, on bottoms of feet, etc then the worst bits came. We had to part our legs further and lift our balls while they looked at our taints with penlights. As you can imagine having 4 teenage boys in varying stages of puberty stark naked together isn't the best idea, and I noticed 2 of my friends dicks were thickening. They then made us lift our dicks and hold them upright. I realized with humiliation that my penis was visibly getting hard. In front of my friends. When we had to turn around I saw that my friends dicks were also pointing straight up as if they had minds of their own. Half of us were uncut, and I think we all blushed the same color as our dick tips as we had to pull back our foreskins. The last humiliation was having to part our legs even further, bend way over, and spread our ass cheeks wide so the officer could use a penlight to examine our most private parts. It was incredibly humiliating.
>Be a cop
>See some young men standing around passing one cigar between them.
>Spidey senses tingle.
>Get closer and turn on flash light because want to ruin their vision before they try anything funny, justtobesafe.jpg
>Ask what they're doing to break the ice
>"smoking a cigar" thanks captain obvious
>Ask to see it so I can take a fat hit off if weed then arrest.
>Total dissapointment, hand it back
>Ask if the cars behind me are theirs and they say yeah
>Getting bored with these normfags
>How'd you get here?
>They all look at me like complete retards
>One blurts out "CARS!"
>mfw the driver was an alcohol
>I just left
>That happened years ago
>I forgot the keys inside my house
>Realize that I can get in from behind
>Neighbour saw me and started yelling at me like If I were a robber.
>Fuck off, I get inside my house
>After 15 minutes cops ring the bell
>They ask me if I am a robber
>Wtf, If I were a robber would I open the fucking door?
>be drinking one night when 16
>next morning still feeling drunk drive back home with scooter
>don't stop at a Stop-sign cause I am turning right and I am not affecting others with my actions I drive so far side of the road
>see blue flashes in my mirror
>big bald male officer and kinda hot female cop comes out
>"do you know why we stopped you?"
>I didn't feel I did nothing wrong and I just stood there like an idiot and said "guess not"
>they explain me
>stand there like an idiot
>alcometer oh shit
>looks at the meter and me
>by the looks of his face it wasn't showing zero reading
>goes back to car and female cops tell me about responsible driving and I keep nodding
>mfw they let me go with a verbal warning
>mfw female cop was one in "Cops" tv-reality show
Drinking and driving. Trying to give advice
are you posting from the spirit realm mike?
>trying to live in buffalo NY
>walking home from school
>hooded man walks up to me
"Eh yo kid, I got something to tell ya, come here"
"Ahh no I can't I'm late in need to get home"
>grabs me by throat
>squeezes like he found the tit of a god
>everything starts going grey
>hear sound of steak being slammed on a table
>under cover cop saw and punched the guy in the throat
>he calls in what happened and takes me home
>we become family friends
> friends birthday
> meet up with him to hangout, havent seen him in a few years
> smoke a few blunts
> get high and go outside
> he runs into a few niggas he knows
> Stop to talk
> we are a group of 5 now
> two of them were sitting on a car trunk
> cop car pulls up
> tells them get off
> they do it but as they get up one guys foot hits a beer bottle that was already on the floor
> cops hear this get out the car and the hassling begins
> within 2 minutes another car and van pull up
> we are all searched and asked for our id
> hand cuff us all and tell us they HAVE to take us to the precinct to run our ids
> at this point im livid and tell them what bullshit this all is
> say "gimme a fuckin breathalyzer none of us have been drinking"
> They refuse and say thats only when your driving smartass
> I reply and say oh so to fuck me over driving you give breathalyzers but to prove my innocence you wont?
> Get smacked in the back of my head
> all of us spend 5 hours in a cell at the precinct to get open container tickets for 1 bottle
> fuck the police
>high on shrooms with newbie
>walking to apts
>cop van pulls in to driveway
>I turn to friend and tell him to follow my lead
>cop starts asking questions to try and mess us up
>friend is black and is thinking about running (he told me later)
>2 other cops pull in to ask us each questions
>lasted like a half hour or more (felt like decades while on shrrooms)
>I told them we had been drinking
>then I asked if we were being arrested and if we could go
>cop let us go but didn't seem happy about it
>me n friend felt like rockstars when we locked our apt door behind us
Be 17, the netherlands:
> Got into fight with some dude at high school
> get a lock around his neck
> Accidently strangle him, he passes out and goes limp
> I had a lot of pressure on him because he was resisting and so I was pushing him down
> when he went limp there was no counter force from him
>push him face first on the sidewalk
> Concussion, blood everywhere
>friends call 112 (dutch emergency number)
> I run inside to get an "adult"
> Cops and ambulance come
> I explain it wasnt supposed to happen.
> Just had him in headlock because I wanted him to calm down.
> Cop 1 says: "lol okay, he doesnt want to press charges anyway"
>Other cop says: "where'd you learn that move?"
> me: "tv"
>cops start laughing pat me on the back
> mfw not in problems at all
Nice to see that someone think like that. Cops are like everyone on everywhere, there are nice cops and real motherfuckers. One thing is for sure, we can't think that we can live without them.
More people need to understand this. one of my cousin's a policeman, and he got shot at several times. When he's asked why he never accepts an office job, he always answers "so that innocent people don't get shot at." Max respect for him.
>going to school when suddenly a cop (who lives a couple of streets away) beats the craap out of me
>tells me i was fucking up with his daughter
>didnt press charges, but i was going to pay him back
>used messenger (yes im that old) to contact her and make friends
>she tells me shes having a shitty relationship and they are going to a party
>go by my own means (she doesnt know who i physically am) and wait till they fight
>she storms out drunk and i followe her after a couple of minutes
>shes smashed AF jackpot.wav
take her home and proceed to hate fuck her and beat the shit out of her
>wash her on my bathtub and drop her in the street
her dad ended beating her bf to death and went to jail lol
>At railway station, Asian guy pulls me aside, holding a map. I have an Uni exam in 20mins.
>Asks me where this landmark is, he wants directions.
>I tell Asian guy to follow me into town, as the landmark is closer.
>Get to the area where our paths differ, tell Asian to ask the nearby cop for directions.
>Cop got pretty angry, but I knew that helping people is his job.
>walk away happy knowing asian guy is in better hands than mine.
>Be in pyjamas
>Go to pick up my brother from a party after midnight Sat night.
>Brother is drunk is fuck, he's holding a half drunk bottle of Southern Comfort(tm).
>Brother is talking lound, blasts the stero.
>Turn the first corner from the party, cop out of nowhere (obviously looking to pick up an easy target)
>I hurry tell my bro to STFU, turn the stero down, put down the window.
>In my pjs, "Hello, Officer"
>Officer looks at me, didn't even blink that I was in pyjamas with a drunk as fuck passenger.
>Blow 0, "Have a nice night, Sir"
Cops are pretty good in Aus, sometimes are cunts, but mostly bretty good. Treat them with respect (right or wrong) and they should treat you with respect. If you're drunk, don't be an unsufferable cunt, move along quickly.
so i live in a medium size town in minnesota. shit ton of muslim somali refuges moved here. I had a computer shop next door to their Halal market. I'm jewish. Get along fine with them. Fixed their computers and they brought me tons of business from somali friends. Doesn't seem that hard to get along.
you see, she told me once that her dad taught her ex bf how to beat somebody without leaving any bruises (if you have seen full metal jacket, youll understand) and i used the same method but without the soap
just hope they treat cops well in jail lmao
cops dont like talking to people if they arent cop things
>st patricks day
>half of the university parking lot is closed due to anticipation of st pattys day drunks
>i totally forgot why
>ask the cops who were chilling why
>'ughhhh idk idk man idk dont ask me please'
>driving to home
>police comes out of nowhere
>"Hello officer, can i help you?", i say
>"Yes, take the breathalyser and blows", they say
>I do and get 0
>"Everything right, you can continue, goodbay", they say again
>"Bye" i say while i leave
And thats all