Things you do you think no one else does.
>when I iron a shirt I've worn a few times already I smell my old body odor and deodorant as it rises from the steam
shit is cash
I pee in the urinal at stadiums
I do this all the fucking time. either that, or just take tweezers and pluck random hairs on my body.
>when I wipe after shitting, I HAVE to check my toilet paper until it is 95-100% clean of shit. then I am clean.
>after Im clean in the shower, I sit down on the shower floor, out of the shower stream, and think about life in a steamy hotbox.
I also brush my tongue until I gag which is habitual. I also go years without shaving my pubes, right now my asshole has hairs nearly 2 inches long.
>>when I wipe after shitting, I HAVE to check my toilet paper until it is 95-100% clean of shit. then I am clean.
I do this, but I'll wipe until I see red sometimes. That usually only happens if the toilet paper is cheap though.
almost exactly 15 minutes.
I like to wash really quick so I can have my full 15 minutes sitting watching the stream of the shower. sometimes I watch a clock, sometimes I put on a timer.
I never use the toilet. I always, with the water off naked, shit in the shower. Then, I sit down and use my special shit chopping butter knife that I keep in my vanity drawer to cut it all up and dissect it. It's very interesting to find out which part of the shit is which meal because some things don't really digest fully, such as mushrooms, some beans, tomatoes, venlafaxine pills (this is how I can exactly tell which meal is which bit because I take my dose at exactly the same time each day) and I can work it out because sometimes there is no venlafaxine pills (they just look exactly the same except slightly yellow) in the shit that it takes normally longer than 24 hours for the food to go from your mouth to become shit, although it varies quite a lot and sometimes (because I take two pills a day) there will be 4 pills and then I know it took two days at least (constipation) and my record is 6 pills but that was when I was taking morphine so at least three days from mouth to ass which is quite a long time. Sometimes, the shit is very very hard and it separates into little pellet balls which I think means I am dehydrated even though I drink tonnes of water and other times it is diarrhea which means I'm sick. Then I become very paranoid about clooging the drain and someone finding what I am doing so that's why I then have to chop it up very very very fine and smush it with the knife. Then, I put the shower on still sitting down and do a gold panning sort of thing with the water so all the small bits slowly go down the drain leaving the larger ones to be chopped up by me. After all of that I then have a normal shower and scrub the floor and my body with antibacterial soap.
Sometimes if I have a very full belly I will go into the shower and do the same thing except make myself vomit, it really is amazing how much you can fit in your stomach
yeah, multiple times do I end up wasting more time wiping up the blood than I do wiping up the shit. it gets so bad that it drips intot he toilet and looks gruesome.
I always imagine bringing a hot chick out on stage sitting her on a stool and singing a song just for her while other teens cream in their pants with a mixture of jealousy and lust.
I am you and you are me. We are all one.
I can't say that everyone else wipes until they bleed though.
When I go to bed I stretch my dick toward my ass and close my thighs. I've actually gained an inch over a lot of years but now it's habit and one day I'll have to explain this to my wife.
I eat petroleum jelly (Vaseline), when ever I see it at mine or someone else's house.
I won't just take one scoop. I'll keep revisiting their bathroom and take multiple fingers of it during the course of my being at their house.
I can no longer keep it at home.
>Eat cereal in the bath
>Piss in the bath while I'm in it
>Wear the same underwear for a week
>Wear same clothes for 2/3 days if I'm not going anywhere
>Have a imaginary conversation with someone I know in real life whilst I am alone in my room, but I only whisper the conversation so my parents don't hear
>Pretend pillow is imaginary gf
>Brush my teeth once with just water then again with toothpaste twice a day
>Drink wine with ice cubes
Just a handful I can think of, would restore my faith in humanity if anyone does things similar
Yeah same here. We have a work shower for commuters and I do this and hide the knife in my sock.
My coworker brought in cookie butter from trader joes and I let him use my knife.
After I work out I stick my sweaty clothes in the dryer. Then after they are dry i wear them out to the mall and scare the sandniggers away with my superior White heritage ball scent
I also Sing in the shower but only when i am specifically washing my asshole
>when I have walk a long way I attempt to teleport. Figure what the hell, nothing lost, and possibly discover a latent ability.
>every birthday secretly hope for my coming of age super powers. That feel when almost 25 and no powers.
>relive conversations after I have them, going as far as to repeat them quietly to myself. Sometimes people overhear and I get very awkward.
this is a typical bathroom drainage diagram. notice the pipes that are at a very slight slope. Shit can figuratively and in reality get stuck there.
>I'd recommend Drain-o and a therapist
I wad up bits of toilet paper and stick them in my ass
not like deep or anything just enough to keep the hole open a bit
idk why I've been doing it since grade school
I literally cannot stop either. if I don't have some tp up there or at the very least a bunch of my underwear I get horribly uncomfortable. I literally cannot last more than a couple minutes UNLESS i'm in the shower or bath tub which is very weird to me.
I have an entire alternate life i have visualized in my head down to the finest detail. i am worth billions due to my tech start up which reduces the inter bank borrowing costs of banks via a method of more accurate deposit hedging. I live a life that only could exists in my imagination. i have defined everything about my fictitious life in detail, down to my the ficitious watch i wear on my wrist (https://www.1stdibs.com/jewelry/watches/wrist-watches/patek-philippe-yellow-gold-perpetual-calendar-chronograph-wristwatch-ref-2499/id-j_297152/).
i spend most nights in bed before i go to sleep imagining it to be real.
....you think you know loneliness, imagine a life spent living another in your head.
Keep like 200 tabs open at once. I have to kill most of them to stop my computer from freezing up.
I also pick out small clips within songs (usually about 3 seconds or so) and replay them repeatedly hundreds of times in a row.
No idea what the fuck is wrong with me
Thought of a few more
>Cry after I masturbate
Not everytime but occasionally, I don't have any sexual problems, I think it's natural and all people must have done it at least once
>Whilst I am on the toilet I get toilet paper, roll it into little balls and try and throw it into the bath from the toilet.
>Pretend I am reading on public transport when really I am just listening to other people's conversations. I do actually read on public transport too, but mostly I find it hard when it is noisy.
I read the news paper in the bathroom cursing every article I see rather it be good or bad sad stories piss me the fuck off and local city hall makes me so mad I could fucking kick that meet door down and pump round after round it to these leaches of society
i scratch my asshole, pluck out dingleberries and smell my fingers after
every night as I fall asleep I basically imagine myself as the hero in a damsel-in-distress movie situation.
I'm not a virgin or anything but I've been doing this since I was in kindergarten at least.
Usually I'll use a scenario from the last movie or tv show I saw and keep that scenario for a
Also I picture the girl as an Emma Watson type.
I imagine myself as someone very skilled in hand to hand combat protecting the girl and being her hero.
It's really gay as fuck now that I type that out but true.
Anyway I fall asleep to that every night
Same here anon, I even listen to my iPod to some song and sync up the imaginary fighting with the song