How can i stop this damned toilet from clogging every time i take a shit?
Plumberfag here, your toilet is fucking crap
go out and find yourself a nice new toilet with a P trap in it that is larger than a fucking pencil. Also, is this in your log cabin? why the fuck don't you have an elongated seat? Kohler is a good brand if you go get a new toilet, so is Toto but they have some stupid adapters to mount to instead of the standard bowl wax.
So... few things I've learned while working on pipes. Bring some extra water with you, maybe 2lt worth, but you have to be able to poor it in fairly fast.
1, fush shit down, now after the swarl and its started to go down, pour in the extra water. This will help carry your shit along until it hits a down pipe.
There are several places to start:
Are your dumps very gigantic? If this is the problem and you can get a power flush water pressure booster and use a power flush toilet. If that is not possible the German made "Flume Miester 2000" from Crane is next best. Can handle dumps up to two and half pounds. Cost on this one is under EUR 400. If this is out of budget poop outside in your neighbor's garden.
Try also to include more fibers into your food. Broccoli, cabbage or celery will help. Do not eat much cheese or fiber muffins these will create more problems than will solve. Drink also some more coffee to help loosen the dumps.
Finally, smash them up with a stick.
My friend suggested to take a good minute spreading your buttcheeks as far apart as they'll go, so the poop will just slide right out without even touching your buttcheeks so you dont need toilet paper.
I dont have a problem with clogged toilets so i dont need to do this, but maybe it's something you should look into
Look what you do is hold down the handle until the poop goes away then if it makes a sound like it's gone for good then you're square. But if not keep holding it down until a second whirlpool of water flushes down and takes it with ut
How much can i expect to pay for a new toilet? Isnt there like a blackmarket for toilets that dont comply with the epa standard of gallons per flush? How would i go about contacting a dealer?
Hey, OP. Recently I've started putting a piece of TP in the toilet in the apartment in which I've lived for over two years (which limits splashback), and I have noticed a significant increase (probably tenfold) in the number of clogs that I have encountered. Flushing after dumping might be the solution you need, before wiping.
Any advice before i go ham on this motherfucker?
pretty sure its not a liberal thing, just simply the fact that California has the most severe drought in recent recorded history.
Its a water thing not a political thing you fucking moron.
Also op, you dirty fucktard, stop using paper to smear shit around on your ass and use soap and water like a fucking civilized person. Jesus, why would anyone want to walk around with shit on their ass.
Get yourself a Bidet or have a jug of water and soap next to your toilet and wash that shit off properly, then wash you hands you heathen, not with the same soap you dirty cave dweller.
Eating banana for strength
Tip ripped off so i dont feel like I'm sucking cock
Sometimes you just have shitty plumbing or the septic tank is fucked. More times than none though, you just gotta know when to flush after wiping your ass a billions times. 3 squares per wipe. and if it looks like there's a lot of toiler paper in the toiler, there is, so flush! And then continue. Duh. don't wait until you've wiped your ass 10+ times with a shit load of tissue.
>eating banana for strength
>my sides have left the building
can this please be a regular thing? Like before an OP delivars on something can he always eat a banana for strenght
"bout to prank my roommate; eating banana for strength."
"bout to shoot up mall; eating banana for strength"
>fucking banana peel in the toilet
I've lost my shit completely now
Had to stop thrusting because i was getting a boner
I regret putting the banana in there. Smells like puke
No. This is what landwhales do.
We call them wafflestompers for a reason.
The moment you can't even shit like a normal person is the day you deserve to be cast out from society.
Holy shit it almost overflowed when i tried flushing
serious advice real quick.
I've noticed at least one faggot said to run a snake through it. If you have access to the main line, snake that, but for gods sake don't try to run a snake through the toilet.
Or do. The fuck do I know?
Just call these people and they should help you.
Lol heres some advice, don't use a fucking sink plunger for the toilet.
please guys if anyone's in a thread where OP is gonna delivar on something, remind him to eat banana for strength. I'll do my part
>shooting suspect aprehended outside mall after short on-foot chase from scene
>not eating banana for strength
Tips from plumber
>old toilets clog more than new. the bends in the toilet (called trapways) gather calcium deposits which narrow them and cause clogs. Especially shitty shitters that have unglazed trapways, lack of glaze means more buildup and more clogs.
>when plunging, create suction over the hole and PULL the clog back into the toilet rather than pushing, the clog will have shorter distance to move and won't just anchor itself deeper as you push it. But try both ways (pushing and pulling) just in case one doesn't work
Buy a new toilet.
Holy shit i was getting worried. Parents have guests in the adjacent room. Still not out of this yet
Sorry i just want this whole ordeal done with
OP is a faggot
Thanks for all the advice and support. I couldn't have done it without you
so insecure he might be turned on by penis shaped food going in his mouth.
why don't people realize this is the most gay thing you could do?
As a master plumber I can tell you from experience that the toilet must be emptied of water and then unbolted from the floor. Once unbolted turn said toilet on side and snake it for the clog. It is most probably your moms maxi pad or some other fem product. Dont forget to jar it and give it to your mom as a present.
Wait so you cum on your own shit
Do you not know how to reply properly?
squatting while shitting makes a lot less stick to your ass
that's how all of humanity shat before toilets
think about if you shat standing up...
well, sitting is only halfway into the right/natural position to shit, so...
First you open the top half of the toilet, and take half a shit in there. Once you've done that, take a the rest of the shit inside lower toilet bowl where you normally take a shit. Flush the toilet, then ope back up the top part of the toilet and with your hands scoop out the poop, drop it in the bottom half. flush it
Its easy and dirty. Disassemble toilet, and use Plumbing spring at toilet drain. Do it 5-7x and assemble toilet back.
Don't wipe your ass. Do what the arabs do and just go right in the shower and clean it off there.
Those shitskins actually surprisingly do something that makes a whole lot more sense.
Used to have clogging problems a lot myself However, all you have to do is flush after each wad of toilet paper. if you're worried about wasting water, too bad. you waste less by not clogging anyway.
after first wad and shit are flushed down the drain, and you need to keep wiping, go ahead and use more , then flush after each 2 or 3 wads (small wads)
It's pretty simple. once the main shit and first wad are flushed down, you wont have to worry about it clogging and being gross. if it clogs with just used toilet paper, it's not nearly as bad. You'll get better with it over time. Just balance yourself out.
Eat less fiber? JK you probably should have it snaked out.I don't think a plunger would move the clog. You might be able to rent a Kinetic Water Ram that will blow the clog through. Too much $ to buy unless you're plugging it up all the time.