I need your help /b/ros
>Be me average /b/ro
>20yo, fatty living at parent's
>First time shaving my crotch in the bathtub
>Everything runs smooth
>Suddenly the drain starts grumbling
>Water doesn't go down as fast as usual
>Drain is fucking full of hair
>Parents come back in 2hrs
tl;dr my drain is full of hair, i have 2 hours to solve that
Pic totally related, my drain
Already tried removing the screw and removing the hair, still can't reach them the pipe is strangely shaped
You have three valid, useful comments here, in a row, on /b/. This is some kind of record, to be sure. Count yourself lucky.
Now you say you're 20 years old and don't even know if you have a plunger in the house. How do you even function? I mean I go years without ever having to use a plunger, but this is basic information to know where stuff like this is located.
And holy fuck. In composing this post, there's how many more helpful, useful posts?! Let me count:
And I like the cut of your jib >>607603479
What the fuck are you serious, you can't think of a single solution? When that happens to me I just get tweezers and start pulling, it literally comes out in one huge chunk. But back to the fact that you're 20 and have the problem solving skills of a 10 year old. What's your deal?
That's not the kind of thing i use
I don't even know where is the extinguisher, i know we got one, but ...
Yeah we get water from a water well or idk, we don't pay water but it's shitty water
Gonna try the hanger
And goes on /b/ for a solution. Who is like, "I have this vast information resource called the Internet at my fingertips, with valuable insights on almost every subject imaginable. I've encountered a very common household problem. Surely the Internet will have a solution. First stop, /b/, of course."
For the sake of humanity, this had better be bait.
Let me help you because I'm a nice guy. Here's a list of things for you to do after you unclog that drain:
1. Locate the plunger. Ask your parents if you don't know. A toilet will clog. It's only a matter of time. You'll want to know where the plunger is when that happens.
2. Find out where the fucking fire extinguisher is. Seriously, you'll likely never need this, but the one time your about to burn to death, you'll be oh so grateful that you knew where this thing was.
3. Learn how to become a functional human being. This one is optional.
Dear lord. Learn how to wash cloths is now 3 on the list.
Becoming a functional human being seems to be more and more unattainable.
I dont shave. But if i ever do i will need a crane to unclog the drain
Sadly they don't teach those kind of thing in college
Still searching for plunger/baking soda, bathroom is a fucking mess
I was way worse than that before shaving.
Let's make a list!
1. doesn't know where plunger is
2. doesn't know where extinguisher is
3. doesn't know where baking soda is
4. doesn't know how to wash clothes
This is clearly bait. Not one is this useless.
1. why would i fucking use a plunger (well, nom, but i didn't need it before)
2. see above
3. blah blah
4. mom's job
I pretty much don't know anything about housing.
And i'm french.
I have pubes longer then my dick. Is that bad?
im going to throw up ok op for advice this might technically work but dont get near the fumes open a window and a combo of bleach baking soda and hydrogen peroxide do this now post results
Iunno this is the last thing i fapped to
Go to CVS or some 24hr place like it and buy a plastic drain snake.
cost about $4
thank me later
Fire Op. Use fire.
Pour some flammable liquid like lighter fluid into the drain and throw a match in; will instantly incinerate all hair in the drain.
Inb4 house burns down its a fucking tub turn on the shower if it gets too hot.
Pour lye in the drain.
Chuck a couple crystals in, run the drain long enough to fill the p-trap (about 2-3 seconds) and wait a minute or two.
You should see smoke come out since lye reacts with the hair producing sulfur dioxide.
Brilliant. Shower acts like a putty fire outy.
get a paper towel tube. place it over the drain, pressing down tightly to form a pseudo-seal. blow as hard as possible into the tube. this will force/blast the blockage to break up. may have to repeat a time or two.
So what your telling me is this Op that had the genius to shave his long ass pubes in the tub; is going to siphon gas from his car, put it in an atomizer, spray it down the drain, light a match stick his face in-front of the drain then light it?
Well when you put it like that, i'd have to agree.
my parents almost disowned me for shaving my pubes because they thought I was gay.
My brother actually explained that shaving pubes is normal.
That conversation was the highlight of my life and my parents pretty much abandoned religion at that point which is even lulzier. They haven't been to church ever since my brother told my parents people shave their pubes.
putty fire outy is also that thing that makes water go splashy, splashy on my body, body. it can be used as both things. putty the fire outy or wetty splashy on the body-wody.
pressure wash it a bit so it doesn't look like its your hair from just looking down the drain, have parents deal with it at a later time/you do it at a later time.
see, if you do something that smells while they are gone while you are home alone... they will suspect you did something weird... but if you do it lets say a week or so later while they are home and tell them shit isnt working right, the suspicion you did something weird is lessoned, theres also the chance they do this themselves and your involvement never comes up...
always have an exit plan when doing something weird.
Deflect blame. Are you a (future) politician?
I've done it many times before with different flammables and have never produced "a nice fireball" but then again i didn't empty the can, I applied as needed.
I have no response to this...
OP here after looking for a shop, everything's closed
Yeah pretty much, your parents know you are fapping but you wouldn't like getting caught, right ?
You have strong lungs.
Good idea, but where can i get gas ?
Is this a zipper ? ...
do you want the people putting a roof over your head to think you did something weird/ did something weird where they could kick you out if they jump the gun?
look, the last thing you want your parents to know is that you shaved off all your crotch hair and clogged the drain.
best case they look at you funny, worst case they cant even look you in the eyes without thinking about what you did anymore and you become the creepy thing they want out.
its best to know how to not draw attention to yourself as much as possible.
what's an atomizer?
I have this thing at my fingertips... no... not a nail... a thing called... the inter-stellar-webs. I hear this new invention has all sorts of informations on it. Like what words mean. But why look this up myself, when I can ask others to do it for me. Maybe I'll get a legit response.
I get it. I was admiring your skills.
Anyway, OP should maybe be kicked out of the house. Would teach him a whole whack of life lessons. Or he would die. Either way, humanity wins.
Don't have a lighter, nobody smoke.
Dafuk is a paint remover, you mean nails ?
Sorry, i'm in France, we don't have house flamethrowers here.
Awkward silence at dinner.
if the water just slightly backs up, do the plunger plan, and part of mine... the plunger can bring up a smell if you do it to much, so just do it enough.
if a normal shower doesn't back water up, just clear the immediate drain and do some draino cleaning a week or so from now.
learning to have an exit plan is something i learned very early on in my "im doing weird shit to my self tonight" teens.
Hahaha. Spending zero time on implementing any of these solutions (which would take about 10-15 min to do) + spending all time threading us along = nice b8 m8
depends on how old the plumbing is and how its connected to the sewer, but at worst you are getting some gross as fuck water with a horrible "would rather this have been shit in the toilet, at least than i can explain the smell" smells.
i suggest plugging and filling the tub and than instead of relying plunging water in and out, you just force the water in fast.
and this was learned because i was to poor to get drano one time the tub got clogged.
You don't know where fuck all is. Yup, might as well keep this thread updated. Good plan. Can't wait for the convo with parents.
>Well I've clogged the drain.
>Did you try to unclog it?
>What did you do?
>I searched the internet.
>Then what did you do?
>Well I found out I don't know fuck all about anything in this house. Like, seriously, where is anything located?
>What site did you go to son?
>Praise /b/ to fortune for showing our sun the light!
My I recommend the following books:
"How to Shave Your Pubes Without Clogging the Drain"
"Unclogging the Drain with Fire, Without Killing Yourself"
"Locating Common Household Items: Plungers, Baking Soda and Fire Extinguisher Edition"
"Learning How to Live Independently as a 20-Year-Old Man-Child"
hahaha... trimming is faster than shaving. Jesus fucking christ.
Hey, OP, get a drinking straw and make cuts in it like in pic related, marked with red. Pull the cut out parts out a little. Then hold onto the end and put it in the drain, but leave enough out so you can pull it out. This is a tiny version of a drain snake.
if worst comes to worst you can just tell them you shaved your pubes because you were curious. don't tell your mom. tell your dad. the worst he's going to do is laugh at you, yell at you for clogging the drain, and help you fix the problem.