In a rare occasion of not being depressed, I give you this opportunity to ask a professional assassin anything.
How much do you usually charge for a job?
Do you operate locally or accept international hits?
Have you ever killed a public figure?
Why do you get depressed when you have the balls to have the best job in the world?
How do i melt steel beams?
Roleplaying threads last longer on /x/, OP.
>do you just, sort of bring it up in conversation
Hey Mike how's it hangin'?
Can't complain. Taking the kids camping this weekend.
Great! The family doing OK?
Yeah, yeah, my little one is having some problems in school but nothing major.
Oh? What's the problem?
Well, there's this girl that keeps harassing him, putting gum in his hair, you know, kid stuff.
For $10000 I'll cut that bitch up into pieces.
I said, you should speak to her parents.
Oh, right. I've been calling her dad but he's on a business trip somewhere.
For $5000 I'll find him and slit his throat.
I said, maybe you should reach out to the mother.
Oh. Funny, I misheard you again. The thing is, they're separated and things are tough.
So he just skips town?
Honestly, I can't blame the guy, I hear his wife is cheating on him.
Yeah, and get this - she's also suing him for 75% of his income.
You said it. If I was him, I swear I'd shoot that cunt.
If I was him, I'd hire me to shoot her for $1000.
If I was him, I'd hire someone to shoot her for $1000.
Oh. Right. So what have you been up to?
I'm out of work, nigger, haven't you been listening to anything I said?
Sweet mother sweet mother send your child unto me, for the sins of the unworthy must be baptised in blood and fear.
Alright faggot I did the black sacrament so go kill this old bitch so I can snog all the qt3.14s at my orphanage.
I'll give you some shitty plate idk..