ITT: Darkest joke you know
>What do Ethiopian children get on their first birthday?
>Flowers on their graves
Man that Sandy Hook shooting really was a tragedy. I wonder what the last thing was to go thorough those kids' heads, I mean besides those bullets.
Ha, that joke will never get old. Just like those kids.
So I was eating this girl out the other day, when I noticed the taste of horse semen. I looked up in disgust and exclaimed "So grandma, that's how you died!"
So little Johnny goes into this whorehouse with a shoebox and says, "I wanna fuck with a hoe with aids!" says lil' Johnny as he walked up to the whorehouse madam. The madam is stunned but eventually answers, "Johnny, not only are you excessively young, but that's pretty messed up. And what's with the shoebox?... Tell you what, show me what's in the shoebox and you can go ahead" " 'kay."
Lil Johnny opens the shoebox, shows the madam a dead frog inside. The madam's understandably confused, but a deal's a deal, and she sends lil Johnny on his way.
Well, soon enough, lil Johnny comes back and starts counting handing his money to the madam. She stops him and says "I'll be damned if this isn't one of the stranger days I've had here lil Johnny. Now, your time's on me if you just tell me what the hell's going on with the sex, and the aids and the frogs and the..."
"Fair enough... I sleep with your girl, I get aids. I sleep with my babysitter, she gets aids. My babysitter sleeps with my dad, he gets aids. My dad sleeps with my mom, she gets aids. My mom sleeps with the mailman and he gets aids and that's the mother FUCKER who stepped on my pet frog!"
What's the difference between a Jew and a boyscout?
-Boyscouts come home from camp
Whats the difference between a baby and a sandwich?
>I don't stick my dick in a sandwich before I eat it.
Cool story, bud
It was christmas eve, John an Mary got to unwrap present from under the tree. They were both supposed to get equally big presents but it seemed like Mary was getting bigger and better presents. She got a big dollhouse with matching dolls. John was happy with the best present he got. A toy car.
In the weeks after christmas, Mary was trying to make John jealous with her gifts;
"I've got better presents. A big doll house with matching doll and all this other stuff. You've only got a stupid car."
I may only have a toy car but I don't have cancer"
A young nun started living in a monastery. The head sister explained her the rules. We all have the chores we have to do, the services that we attend. And also the rules about menstruation. "If you get your period, you have to sit on this pot untill it is over. If you spill only a tiny drop, You'll have to take a sip from the pot"
The little nun thought about it a bit but decided if she wanted to live here, she had to follow the rules.
A few weeks later, the young nun had her period. She hurried to the pot but just before the pot in the hallway, she spillt a drop.
After a day or two the little nun came out of the pot-room. The headnurse stood there waiting. "I know you spillt a drop. You know what to do"
The little nun thought about it, put the pot to her mouth and took a sip.
And another, untill the pot was empty.
The headnurse couldn't believe her eyes. "You only had to take one sip!"
"I know" the young nun said, "But it had threads in it"
WW2 Vet walks into a pizza shop asks the cashier for a Pearl Harbor Pizza
"A Pearl Harbor Pizza?"
"Sorry I've never heard of that sir."
"Oh well it's a ham and pineapple pizza with a bunch of Japs/Jalapenos on it."
What's the difference between German trains and a German planes?
German trains get to the destination before killing the cargo.
>My great grandfather was an ethanol. He was made of stronger stuff.
I really hate the little things in life
that is why i killed my twin brother in the womb
>I go on a USA server
>Say "Hi, I'am Brazilian"
>One of the guys from the enemy team speaks "7-1 never forget"
>I say "Never Forget 9/11"
>I was expelled from the server
A nigga gal tells her friend about her weekend:
"I ended up havin' sex."
"What was it like?"
"Kinda like the 100M Final at the Olympics."
"Why? Was it over in ten seconds?"
"Nah, ten niggas and a gun."
What's the best part about fucking a 7 year old girl in the shower?
If you slick her hair back, she doesn't look a day past 6.
How do you know when an Ethiopian is pregnant?
The tampon is half eaten.
Did you guys hear that Princess Diana was on the radio?
Ya, she was also on the dash, the steering wheel, and the windshield.
It's the pilot, let me in.
What's the fastest animal on Earth?
Any animal on Ethiopia
What word does not exist in Ethiopian?
Why don't Poles get castrated?
They don't want to throw away the best part
What's dark and is desperately banging an acrilic door?
A Haitian baby in a microwave oven
How do you get 20 Cubans on a shoebox?
Just tell them it floats
Why does the bronx mother give her 9yo girl a syringe and a spoon?
She thinks at 9yo she's old enough to learn how to cook
How can you tell which one is the Jewish mother at a mixed wedding?
She's the one picking up the rice
How can you tell a Pakistani girl has been crying?
Her face is clean