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>girl adds me on kik >become friends >eventually she figures out I like her >she likes me too >nothing will ever happen because she's too far away and our age difference >gets a boyfriend (guy at school who she said hated her) >doesn't need me anymore >losing interest in talking to me I wish I could find someone else but I tried to months ago, only one person would talk to me for more than a minute, she talked to me for a week, told me she loves me as a friend, then the next day didn't reply to anything, then disappeared the day after
>>612336008 That's my image! I'm glad other anons like it. It's from Welcome to the NHK if you were wondering. I sometimes dream of just resting my head and cuddling with her...but it will never happen, and I don't think I'm capable of moving on and loving anyone else.
>>612336583 >>612336809 I honestly cannot name a character more relatable than Misaki, I help others to hide my own problems. Among many other reasons, though I really wish that I could be a cute young female.
>>612337695 >tells me something a few months ago >she mentions something a few weeks ago >remind her what she said a few months ago >denies it >scroll through history and send her screenshot >still denies it
>>612337887 I fell in love with a girl that was as nice as Misaki was in real life. Both of them had their "dark" secret that fucked everything up. Misaki's was her motive and the girl I fell in love with was her unwavering devotion to her family.
>>612337887 >>612338130 We all want something we don't have, that is the essence of being human. >>612338258 Fore my first, it was her deep depression that stemmed from abusive parents. After meeting her in the freshman year of highschool, we quickly grew attached to each other, the first time we hugged, she said that it was the first time someone touched her in a good way.
I doubt she cares if we stay friends I've felt like she's been getting bored with me for 2 months, talking to me less often.. mostly replies with :( or :/ now that she has a boyfriend she messages me maybe once a day and mostly doesn't reply to anything
>>612339109 >>612338313 This show continues to be so relevant in my life it is insane. >>612339532 It might get better, it might get worse. I had less than 5 friends for the majority of my life. For elementary and middle school I had 2 people that I could even talk to without severe anxiety and panic attacks, leaving the house for something other than school was nearly impossible.
>>612340887 >It might get better, it might get worse. it's definitely not getting better 22 and that was the only person I ever considered a friend, everyone else just seemed to want things from me I can't talk to anyone either, he was the only person I was mostly ok with, I can't even talk to my mother most of the time
>>612340887 >>612341048 I honestly cannot convince myself of this regardless of any of my efforts to do so. I only end up feeling responsible for her suicide and my inability to move on from it. I have an IQ of above 160, near perfect score on the SAT, and a promising future should I be able to stop hating myself, and yet I can't move on from something that happened the summer after freshman year. >>612341590 Please, make an effort to ameliorate your situation, be a person more brave than I am.
>>612342505 >>612342959 I want so much to believe this, but nobody who knows me would tell me this. >>612342730 Then do something about it, nothing can be gained from just sitting there moping about a lack of knowledge. Get lost in wikipedia, despite what people say about it, it is actually accurate, because the people who care enough about the accuracy of an internet encyclopedia are the kind of people to do extensive research on a subject, I would know, because I am that kind of person. Teach yourself to program, start with python or java, then expand to other languages. Do what I did one night and spend hours watching Khan Academy. Make a pot of coffee and learn something. Take this stick and fight.
I said goodbye to my best friend last night. We used to do everything together. We spent every day together. I was in love with her and she always knew. In fact, we were kind of "lovers" before we were friends. But I became the only family she had. She didn't feel the same. She loved me more than anyone in the world... just not like that.
Last night her new boyfriend flipped out at her again because she hung out with me. She was torn. She didn't want to cut me out but she didn't want to break up. So, I made the decision for her. I set her free. I told her over text because she had already gone to bed.
>>612347693 it is extremely painful, especially when you make the decision for the better of others. because they will most likely never realize how kind you truly were. how you broke your back holding them higher than they ever could themselves. how, even now, you are alone, in front of a screen, convincing yourself that life is worth living. hang in there, buddy. it will always be painful, but it will be pain you will learn to live with. just like the rest of us.
I dont really have any certain reason to be sad, I have a few close friends, a loving family, and have fun, but their is aalways just something in the back of my mind. Always their, even when im convinced im happy. Ive never had sex, never even had a gf. I mean, im lonely, but tons of people are right? that shouldnt be that bad, but still the ever present thought of "I should just end it" is always their. Everynight I just feel dead inside, no hope, just sadness, anger, depression. I just dont want to live anymore. Idk, just had to get that off my chest. Sorry
Was rushed to er earlier last week. >Couldn't breathe >chest pains and tightness >weak >semi-lethargic >diagnosed as depression >given meds for it but I'm afraid to use em because i read about withdraws also read online that it causes seizures in some ppl >barely can breathe now didnt know i was depressed not sure if this is even and accurate diagnosis >don't know what to do now
Have some of my feels >Be me >High school >Not many friends, only people I talk to in school >Have an autistic brother who I hate >Have a successful brother who I hate for turning into a total fag because of gf >Have a weaboo sister who I really fucking hate >Everyone else but me treats mother like shit, but she provides for us Really, that woman is a saint
>Hated the world for a long time >Everyone is so fucking cringe >Really just want a friend >Just one friend who doesn't act autistic >A friend who just wants to hang out and play vidya >A friend who I can talk to But instead it's sporty cunts who care only about themselves
>>612359372 >>Really just want a friend >>Just one friend who doesn't act autistic >>A friend who just wants to hang out and play vidya >>A friend who I can talk to me too, anon I'd rather that friend was a girl though guys my age piss me off
it's so much easier not to feel. and yet it always gets to me that i have no friends. is my life terrible? nah. i have a home, a decent job i like, going to join the navy and do something with my life. but holy fuck, all i do every single fucking day is sit in bed staring at this godforsaken site. where did all my friends go? we used to play fifa, go out and play futsal. go to the mamak at midnight, and get wasted.
>tfw all your friends are actually doing something with their lives and not fucking around.
>>612364337 as it's not obvious >22 and only had one real life friend
>>612364460 wouldn't know, never experienced that but seeing everone else just makes me really depressed >on train a few months ago (valentines da) >very few seats left >guy sits down >girl sits on him and cuddles >try not to cry >eventually get up and move away (other people were being fucking loud)
>>612365212 I have a tragedy. I joined the military, and by doing that I came home to nothing. Nobody to say they missed me, none of my old friends to chill with. None of my family. Literally everyone moved away and I never found out where. I'm lost in the world now and for what reason? Why did it even happen to me? Why did they just upright and leave me all alone in the world..
>>612362491 Please try to hang in there /b/rother. There aren't many of us left. If it helps just know that I will /b/ here for you when ever I can. >>612363256 I haven't had a girlfriend since the sixth grade. She broke my heart. After that I started focusing only on school/work till I was strong enough to start again. I'm still not. I loved that girl. >holy shit that made me depressed. >>612364084 >I does get better. >I wish I could tell you how, but I can't. >These words helped me out of that hole. "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" >Hope they can help you.
Honest I don't really want a gf. I haven't been on a date in 5 years, and that was my last gf. It's been so long I don't miss it anymore. I lost interest in it, or hope call it what you will.
I spend my life alone, even with other people. I'm just always alone. Everything I try to do fails, and everything in my life goes wrong. I just don't care anymore. I don't care about friends, or family or relationships or my own health. I just don't care. I've lived life in monotony. I don't know what I want really. Maybe it's just death.
>>612365212 My dilemma is that there aren't enough actual people left in the world. To me it seems like the masses of people aren't smart enough to even think about other people, or even to express some kind of deep thougt. It just really angers me that the kind of people who are popular and get friends are shallow, ignorant swagfags. They don't want to know what makes people feel and think, they just want to fuck around pretending like they almost do.
>>612350091 people can be extremely terrible. take it from me; I was the laughing stock of my elementary school and tried to kill myself 4 times in 9th grade. It always gets better. I wish I had known that sooner.
I always see things like this, people that had hard young lives. I was never really bullied. In fact I don't really remember ever once being bullied. I was just ignored. I had friends, or at least I thought I did. They just kinda tolerated me being around, but didn't really talk to me. I grew up thinking the world doesn't like me. Sometimes I wish people had noticed me at all.
>>612365740 >>612365984 Sounds like its time to start over then. You got those friends somehow, just go out and do it again. Might be hard at first but once you make a few friends it gets easier >>612366012 >monotony That's probably the problem. Go somewhere new, talk to people around you. Pick up a hobby or whatever, just do something new >>612366303 Who cares about popularity. I was never popular but I made friends and talked to people. Calling people stupid shallow swagfags isn't going to make you any happier.
>>612359675 it makes me sad when soldiers from a first world country come home and see stupid shit like the pic on top. Like, he/she LITERALLY feel like they can't live without their best friend despite already doing so. wtf is wrong with some people. they just dont fucking get it. they never leave their own personal view ever.
>>612367343 I'm not particularly religious. I have nothing against any single religion. And this girl is ridiculously amazing. Smart, gorgeous, and she has this sarcastic tone that's super sexy. Her religion doesn't let her date anyone outside of it. Sometimes it kills me.
I got used to it. After awhile I just started to live day to day. Not looking forward to anything, not trying to excel or do anything new. I'd play a lot of MMO's cause it made me feel like there was people around me who cared, but I knew the truth. I also drank a lot.
look, at the expense of seeming cold, I have a few opinions.
I understand loneliness as much as the next person, as do most people in the world. some people death in unfair ways. in their arms, all their loved ones; and all of these are fucked. sadness is unavoidable, and situations like these definitely don't do well for the mind.
yet, as an anon with no friends, ending lives from loneliness is silly. i recently found out that any friend i thought i had has been playing with me. the girl i was with dated me for a game. the friends who we both hung out with ran off with her, with the one who was my "closest friend" dating her now. he released all the information i ever entrusted him with. i'm a mockery of my peers, i'm a game to women. my father left me as an infant, my mother ran off for drugs.
it's hard, /b/ros. it might not be as others' situations, and i understand that. but you can move on. you can live happy in your own company.
Fuck everyone else. Their selfish, dick-riding assholes anyway. At least be happy knowing that you are a person who deserves life more than anyone else on the planet. That your existence is justified not only by your actions, but mere presence.
>tl;dr love life not because of the people your surround yourself by, or lack thereof, but because you deserve life
>>612368433 Yeah, I'm still trying to get on my feet, maybe then I can forget. It's hard to be thrown on the ground and being the only one to tell yourself to get up, because it's just a hell of a lot easier to lay back down.
Soon ill be leaving for the Air Force, upon making this decision i considered a lot, my family, friends, everything that could be something vital in my life i considered and i am ready to move away to go and do what i feel is something im going to love.... or so it seemed to be. recently i quit my job because im going to be leaving in less than a month from now, scary to say but im excited still none the less and the reason i word it like that is because i realized why i wanted to join and it isnt quite the reason i thought that it was. You see i made the mistake of falling in love with my best friend, but somewhere along the way i fucked it up and lost her completely. i have tried to get over her by doing everything but right when i feel like im alright and back to myself, she shows up at my door asking why i havent talked to her, saying that we are still best friends, its different everytime. The point of it is i cant even be happy anymore because this one girl, this one person brought me so much happiness, joy, and memories are so vivid that everything reminds me of her. i learned that i didnt finally get the balls to go join the air force because i wanted to make a decision. i realized that its because i wanted to get the fuck out of this town, this city and ultimately this state. i literally want to be anywhere but here. i dont even feel like i can be happy about anything anymore /b/ life is terrible and has been for almost a year now. also before anyone asks because i know i left this out, im 20.
>>612367530 Popularity? No, I don't want to be near these degenerates. I want them all to die so the world can become a good place. I want people to fear death, and think about, actially think about, their mortality. I want average conversation to have no mention of who the famous nigger is or why their life is "so hard", while they completely ignore the people with hard lives.
I was in the AF for 8 years. Bit of advice, don't fuck it up. I fucked up early on and that shit never left me. Everyone assumed I was a fuck up. It followed me from base to base. I was neglected and rejected. Given the shit jobs cause they didn't trust me and didn't want to deal with me. It made me bitter, very bitter.
> be me > Meet this girl > over 10 months fall in love with her > She claims the same > be happy for 6 months > fully invest in this girl > Valentines Day, "I love you Anon" > feelsgoodman.jpg > Day after valentines she needs to talk > tells me she wants to get back with her abusive ex who broke her heart > says she and him hung out and realized they where still "Madly in love" > Wowzers, first girl ive ever trully loved just broke it off like that.... fml > past depression comes back > Panic attacks
Fast forward 4 weeks
> get msg from her "hey Anon" > start talking again > Douche bag bf broke her heart again > Take roll as comforter, still in love with her > She says she still loves me > start to gain hope again
A few days pass
> fml, she gets back with her ex AGAIN > He breaks her heart again, im left to pick up the broken peices and be the nice guy > Still in love with this girl after all she has put me through.....
Its just a never ending cycle of hurt, and I just cant let her go. I already have Chronic Depression and bipolar disorder, what else can life throw at me to just fuck me up? Thinking bout just letting go, I dont know if I can handle all this shit anymore.
>>612368111 checked 'em >>612368504 I don't know if this helps, but I care about you. The best thing for you to do is to move on. Don't get mad at them for leaving you. Don't get sad or lonely. Just get up tomorrow and go out somewhere. Walk with a smile on your face, and talk to any stranger with a smile on theirs. I'll do it too. If were lucky then one day we will be each others strangers.
Damn CAPTCHA. I get all serious, and then have to look through pics for the one with cakes in them
I was kid that had no self confidence and no trust in himself when I joined. I wanted discipline and the AF isn't the disciplined branch, in fact opposite. It wasn't as much what I did but what i didn't do. Which was mostly everything.
When I was in 8th grade back in middle school, I remember that there was a girl I liked. I think her name was lee or something starting with an L. I saw her as the perfect person for me,we liked the same things, had similar personalities, we're not the most popular of persons you get the jist. I wanted to ask her out for a long time I wanted to talk to her, get to know her more, but I didn't, I was too afraid, too afraid of rejection and embarrassment. I told myself each day that i would someday work up the courage to tell her how I feel, but I was too slow. I started my first year of highschool and I thought that this would be the year I would ask her out. Oh was I wrong. She, over the summer, had moved away to a state that is well out of my reach of communication and I didn't even know her phone number, but then again it's not like I would work up the courage to talk to her anyway.
>I am Steven Dunn am 17 years of age and almost 18 in March 11. >I play sports none at which am naturally talented at. >I play football and I wrestle both of them I like. >Throughout my career of school (or as I like to call it my prison cell) my final grades have not been outstanding but are increasing gradually as time progresses. >Don't read very much only when I have to or whatever looks good and when I do read I love to indulge my mind in the works of Stephen King. >He is truly the king of horror writing and after I started writing about horror. >I felt that it was my obligation to overpass Stephen King and be named the sickest mind in America. >I want to overthrow the King and in which I will be crowned King I started to write in freshman year. >and from that date I have been writing like crazy. >I feel like this is the place where I need to be and the help from my publisher. >I believe that this collection will be one of the best books of all time. >this is my time the time Steven Dunn will rise up from the ashes of his own defeat.
When i lose my shit during a manic episode (bipolar fag here) i tend to drive everyone away, im triggered by the littlest things now... i didnt want to be like this, i dont want to be such an angry spaz that drives people away... the worst part is when i start getting depressed and when i shut myself out from everyone to avoid them seeing me sad, none check to see if im okay, they are comfortable with the fact that im thinking about hanging my belt on my door and hanging myself.. anyone with mental illness have any tips or ideas on how to keep my shit together..?
>>612370679 I see, well i dont feel that im exactly that but if im given a task, i wont have a problem completing it and i usually try to stay involved with whatever is going on. i can say that i picked up smoking cigs again unfortunately, i have been stressed beyond belief and that is the only time i do it. i stopped drinking and smoking because i only feel worse about my life whenever i do both of those things. i never thought once about the discipline area of why i joined, i guess all i wanted was an out..
>>612370370 Nowhere near there, but close to a big city. And i'm not better than everyone else, i'm far from it. I hate myself so much for so many reasons. But the people I really observe act exactly like I described constantly. This is my last post before going to bed. So if you have any points to make, now is the time.
This song/video makes me cry. Music is all I've ever had to express myself. And to see the sad state of music now days, makes me even more sad. I never really cared for the band, but the message gives me hope.
>>612370370 I'll get back up anon, i've taken hits before and been winded, so what's so hard about standing back up? >>612370547 I'll smile every day anon, thank you for caring. It's nice knowing some people aren't heartless.
>>612332412 It is a sad day, when, a man of morals, a man of ethics just trying to do good by the world. One who knows there aren't enough heroes. Realizes, he is the villain.
I have lived my life a certain way, one I knew, or at least hoped, was the path of good. I had lost many friends along my journey. All the while hoping it was because I stood for what was good, and they, well they stood for everything that was wrong with the world. I had been naive in my thoughts, had I known everything wasn't as black and white as it seemed, I may have kept more of them. I once thought as a white knight I could change the world, rid it of as many evil-doers as one knight could, and magically it would be a more hospitable place. As if fighting the good fight would, or even could, make a discernible difference.
In all honesty, its just easier to be the villain.
No one faults you for being the villain, its just how its supposed to be, no one cares enough to appreciate the good fight. Life has a tendency to turn open hearts into stone, too much pain, not enough fulfillment. Its all a disaster waiting to happen, heroes get beat down and get back up, but given enough time even they don't, they can't. Its the smart choice, becoming the villain. Its the easy choice. Its so simple to turn your back on what little humanity there is left.
In your opinion, is it best to refrain from saying the words "I love you" to the person you love, if you don't think you'll get the right words back? I don't want to make them feel bad or guilty, or forced to say it. I've been going out with this person for a while, so it's not as if I could become friend-zoned at this point.
>>612371388 Well, you could try drinking away your feelings. It worked for me. Wasnt sober for 2 entire weeks, went to bed drunk, woke up drunk. Life was dandy until you run out of alcohol and reality comes crashing back down on you and you realize you are worthless. :/
Fuck it, might as well post >Be me 19 >Decent enough life >Middle class, nice house, go to community college, nice family, look 7/10 >No need to work, as long as I'm in college and do the housework I can live at home for free >Have a few good friends >But horribly apathetic, somewhat depressed on occasion >I just can't find myself caring about nearly anything, even if I should >Grades, family, my health, etc >I know it's all important, I understand people's emotions, I just can't give a shit. Even if I try. >Started a year and a half ago >First actual serious GF >She was amazing in every single way >Literally my idea of a perfect girl >I was head over heels, never been happier in my life >Only it was long distance >We are "together" for a few months in the summer >She comes to visit over winter break >Fuck like rabbits, we're on each other like black on watermelon >Stay together online >Make plans for me to get a college certificate in computer tech and move out with her >Visit each other a few more times >Last time we visit she acts odd part way through >We never have sex the entire time >She just acts off >We have a few small petty fights about stupid shit >Drinking, what to do, etc. >Time to go home >She's acting really pissy >Pretty obvious whats going to happen >Train ride home spent gaming, smoking, trying not to think about it >Get home >She ends it via txt >I'm devastated >go out, get really high >Haven't been the same since >Still cant stop thinking about it >Year and a half later I still remember it and go into emo mode >Then just back to not caring a little but later >(wont go into detail) But I fucked shit up a little while after, was depressed and got wasted >Now she hates me with a passion >I tried apologizing but she never responded >Talk to a psychologist friend about her >She fits the bill for Bipolar and Borderline personality disorders Sorry if its shitty. I don't do this a lot.
>>612332412 Holy shit guys, I just had to get away from legal authority. I have never been homeless before at any time in my life and I have had a homeless friend that I talked to since I was a child. Their isn't very many jobs and so many people end up being homeless, but, where I am, apparently homeless people have found a way to live off the grid entirely. We have to sleep in "camps" outside the city because in the city, it would be soliciting. My friend introduced me to being homeless and so we went to our camp. I don't know where they get their food from, but, it was well rationed out. Someone had a truck full of food and apparently this is every day life. So we are in the middle of a desert near my home city. I put in applications everywhere, but, I know the only people getting hired are people from outside the city we where born in.
I noticed that there was a few homeless people that would walk off at the same exact time other homeless people came into the camp, but, they didn't go the direction of the city. It was almost time to go to sleep when suddenly I heard the sound of a vehicle. The food truck was here in the camp, so I didn't know what it was. There were a lot of vehicles reving their engines outside the camp. It wasn't normal police cars. It was police monster trucks.
The camp was inside a kind of pit in the middle of a not so high hill that was smooth and not rigid at any point other then large rocks. Suddenly the legal authority said,"If you come out nicely, we'll make it quick. Nobody moved as I looked over the top of the large pit where my friend pulled my head down and told me to be quiet and go out the back of the pit with him. We did slowly and a few seconds later, all the monster trucks drove over various sides of the pit in an organized pattern to assure that they didn't wreck as they ran over all the homeless people.
>>612373564 As any great storyteller would say, "don't say it, show it". When it's time to say the words, not an inch of you will doubt it - and the words "I love you" will speak themselves, like rolling thunder from your mouth. Until then, enjoy the silence - because nothing in this world can touch it.
>>612374141 thanks for replying anon. He and I have both been in love before. And I don't think he's 100% over his ex from 3 years ago, whereas I am. I can't replace her (a first love at his undergrad where he lived like he was in a Japanese/animu high school club).
Yeah, I've been thinking it's best not to say anything either... Thanks. I just kinda needed that reaffirmation from someone else with an honest opinion. Not a friend trying to make me confused/feel "better"
>>612371961 I have to go now. I know that we may never speak again or if we do we probably won't know it, but just know that I will remember you for as long as I can. I don't know if you'll read this, but I thought I should say it.
>>612374466 It helps. It hurts like shit for a long time. But convincing yourself that you can g et over him or her with their stuff lying around is a delusion. Throw it all away man. If it's something like a car that reminds you of the person... uh, I dunno. But other stuff? Hats, pics, cards: throw them out. Or burn them and take the ashes and throw them away into something beautiful. To show that you can move on and live. Not just survive, but live.
>>612375421 Why does it work? I dunno man. It worked for me at least. I ran into my ex a month ago to see that he's happily married, and I felt nothing but happiness for the guy. There was a point in time where I would've killed him, his waifu, and then myself though.
>>612340707 It seems to usually be the girl who wants to not be friends. I broke up with a girl a few months back and I was cool with us still being friends but she hasn't talked to me since, even though I see her everyday.
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