Ask why that hippie is eating soup at my counter. Fucking hippies.
Turn 540 degrees and jump over couch while making scary monkey noises.
order pizzas, put on kids movies, ask for snack run requests from the halfings so i can get a few minutes away from the headache inducing litttletons. return with snacks, go to room, lament taking care of kids that aren't mine and completely wasting my 20's being a responsible adult. drink from hidden bottle of jameson whiskey, eat doritos to cover the smell, return to living room and hope there's just maybe a single slice of pizza i paid for that i can snag while no one's looking.
My neighbor's granddaughter waved and said hi to me and I got a semi and jerked off when I got back inside.
If I wasn't such a beta I'd be in prison for molestation. Thankfully I'm a beta.
Wonder when people figured out I was a pedo and if this is some kind of intervention before I hurt anyone.
Take a look, wave back if anyone waves and walk to my room.
My fantasy is to have girls that age, but much prettier ones, and dress them up in elaborate historically themed costumes of my liking. They'll nibble on me in my bathhouse. We'll have pillow fights and ice cream parties. They'll be on drugs like MDMA so they're more in the mood.
Yell something along the line of : "NO FEET ON THE SOFA! HUSH NOW!"
Followed by (to the woman in the background) : "WHY ARE THEY OUT OF THE BASEMENT AND WHERE IN THE FOCK ARE THEIR CHAINS?"