Sup /b/ I'm in court for a speeding ticket right now. Dubs decides my opening statement to the judge. Will deliver with sound recording.
I am a humble man, with dreams of pursuing a gender replacement surgery to female. I want to know what I can do to start anew, so I don't enter this world as a woman with a history of speeding in a vehicle
>Hitler did nothing wrong.
Whilst I'm here I would like to get something else off my chest. I've killed and raped 2 women, one of the bodies is buried in my back yard, the other is buried in some woodland a few miles away
sing "i am a little tea cup short and stout! NIGGER-NIGGER, NIGGER-NIGGER, NIGGING ALL ABOUT"
Shout the part in caps.
Trips overrides everything. Hitler did nothing wrong.
say things you would say normally, but talk in a cute anime-girl voice and add ~desu to the end of every sentence.
"I swear on the immortal emperor that I did not do a heinous act of distributing cheese pizza, (lean to some person), oh sorry, I swear on emperor's throne that I did not go over the speed limit!"
rap all of this after saying with all due respect your honor,
Your honor, I recognize my fault and would like to pay the ticket in full and also offer my apologies to the court and my community for behaving so recklessly and potentially putting peoples lives at risk.
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
1st off you have to refer to him as " your judgingness " and nothing else no matter what he says.
" your judgingness, it would be grossly irresponsible of you to sentence me to anything other than a verbal warning.
You see my judgingness my father is a very well connected member of a very nasty criminal syndicate, did my judgingness ever watch john wick? Well my judgingness john wick is based on my father, consider this your final warning... Then just sit down
>inb4 judge is a racist
If get, tell the judge , "I know I was being naughty and speeding, but I can't have this ticket on my record. Is there anything I can do to make you see my way?" *wink*
sry op...keep ya butthole tight in the slammah
He said trips override everything if you bothered to read the thread, dumbass.
Your honor, I was merely attempting to attain the speed of 88 mile per hour in order to go back in time to the year 1850. I was going to kill Hitler's mother, then I was going to tell Lincoln that freeing the slaves was the worst idea ever.
>you pull out a color image of a DeLorean with Abe Lincoln sitting inside it, glaring at a picture of Tyga fucking Kylie Jenner, Abe with a look of disgust on his bearded face.
>mfw we see Kylie naked finally
"Are you mad.. Uh.. Do you feel blame? Do you know wolf kabob roth vantage? Gerfranis pooch boo jijib geegle gee"