Still love him with all of my fucking heart but can't be with him and it's killing me every day.
I'm not thinking about it all day, only when i get depressed, which i guess I'm sick, suffering from it, i never went to any psychologist. But, meh I'm ok right now. Just alive, living, playing guitar, having a good time with my family and my cat, it's alright.
I'm lying to everyone about something lately.
I don't think I'm truly capable of loving or even really liking anyone as I have a very hard time taking people seriously anymore.
Eh, not much of a secret. I'll let all of the edgy 'I want to kill, rape,'etc take over.
When I was 8 I kicked the mute kid in the nuts at soccer practice. His tard wrangling mom was no where to be seen and no one knew sign language. He just kept pointing at me. I said it was a soccer ball. Fucker was poking me and shit. I still feel bad about attacking a tard though.
When I was about nine years old I impaled the neighbour's < 3 year old on the railings between our properties. He died immediately and I ran away to hide fearing I'd be put in prison.
When I was found that night in the local park my mum told me about the terrible accident....
A winner is me.
30+ years ago now.
Actually i'm thinking of studying Information Systems Engineering.
And no, i didn't even think about suicide, just about living good while I'm alive, but you know, sometimes depression gets strong and it can tumble me down.
I'm going to an hero after Star Wars Episode IX comes out. There's no reason for me to live after that.
i can't seem to find the right girl, i have friends who point out a chick and say shes a 10 or w/e and i just see another person. on the rare occasion i do find someone i think i might like based on looks and personality, they're always out of my league. be it age difference or they're too hot.
i'm not shy, i can hold up a conversation and keep her interested but thats as far as it goes, just talk.
i have this one girl in my programming class, shes like indian or something i'm not sure. shes fucking incredible, is a 10, interesting, we talk and its like everything just goes so smoothly. but that's just it, shes a 10, shes 6 years older than me.
how do you get past this shit.
In the 5th grade there was a tard named shawn, it was anot assembly to watch some stupid fucking movie, well I had popcorn and shawn asked to have some I said no so he sticks his hand into my bag of popcorn and says "MY GERMS" as loud as he possibly could, I then proceeded to push him over and then gave him one good stomp to the head.
IT ALL COMES TUMBLING DOWN TUMBLING DOWN TUMBLING DOOOOWN
Fair enough, these things take time to get over. Just take your time, don't beat yourself up, and do whatever you feel you need to to get past it. Just don't lose track of yourself in the recovery process and become something else you don't like.
>Wanting to have a relationship
>Been a few, with some truly amazing individuals
>I always manage to self-sabotage my relationships
Why is it, that i can't hold onto the things i love the most.. Am i destined to keep fucking things up?
i try my best at being a good person, but i somehow always manage to eventually do something that screws it all over..
I could elaborate on this if someone cares to listen
I'll definitely an hero if they make a fourth trilogy. It didn't even need to go past Episode VI. Shit, if anything we needed a prequel remake.
There was a retarded kid I used to be in school with, and if you said "Hiyah" to him he'd try to fight you thinking he was a karate master. One day my friend and I saw him and my friend yells "HIYAH" So the retarded kid comes over and punches me in the face. I'm all like Wtf and then I beat him until his face is bleeding. I beat a retarded kid.
I know the passwords to many of my friends and families various accounts.
It's pretty much a daily ritual for me to read their messages, watch their "private" media, etc.
It's not usually sexual. I just really enjoy knowing their secrets.
Having said that, I've also fapped to many "private" pictures and videos. Including those of relatives.
Same way to get past dog shit, step over it and keep moving forward. Ask her out. You have nothing to lose and her rejection will hurt less than your own shame ten years from now when you can only wish you had had the balls to talk to her.
I've used information from a friends messages to convince her into being a fuck buddy in the past.
Not blackmail, mind you. I would you find out when she was vulnerable and make the move.
That's a cold mothafucka right there...
Got any pics?
Cheating on gf with a girl that has a bf. Currently trying to convince her that we are better together than our current relationships. Feels bad for not leaving her bf but not enough to actually do it. Sucks because this Brazilian beauty is going to move away before giving us a real chance.
What i found of that kind of thoughts is: Don't be scared, just live now, love now, feel now, do the things now, lose your time in things that you like to do 'cause tomorrow maybe you'll be sleeping forever or maybe there's a God, i don't think that the Hell exist, if God is there; He loves us all, so he isn't going to send us to Hell.
>I believe in Soul, Spirit and those things.
>I would consider myself as Agnostic.
>Sorry for my bad English.
Back when I was a loser in high school, i'd always have my hood up to hide my hair (looked messy and didn't give a shit) and hide my eyes so i could look at girl's tits and asses in the hall.
Yes because people getting their heads and hands chopped off, people being burned alive and CHILDREN BEING KILLED is indicative of a kids movie. Shut the fuck up forever.
I would guess it's because you've never really been loved by anyone. Get a dog and love that shit like there's no tomorrow and s/he will love you back. But keep to fucking people because dogfuckers are not okay outside of the interwebz
I have a pretty big dick (7inch) but it's disgusting because of an extreme case of Fordyce's spots. Several people know but would say this is my biggest secret since I would rather nobody know. It's so fucking disgusting.
When I was 15 my hs gf cheated on me. Despite being a complete hoebag she does love me. I've cheated on every gf I've ever had regularly with her and she never makes waves. Our sex ends with her crying and professing her love for me. She has 3 kids now (none mine and all by deadbeats) and we still fuck regularly. We do all sorts of fucked up bdsm shit together to. Everything from tit torture to one time I whipped her ass so bad it bled. She helped me realize I was a sadist. Now I'm floating around the idea of having a kid with her. We've been rawdogging it for months now and she's off the pill. She has no idea I had a vasectomy 8 years ago. I've cheated on at least 15 gf's with her in the past 17 years now. I feel like I'm better to my actual gf's having her to treat like dogshit. With 3 kids now I think she is desperate and sees having a kid with me as a way out of her shitty life. Idk why I get off on it.
>implying you know something unknowable because of an hallucinogen
You can have just one.
Her and I may be related.
>Her and I may be related
Why do you think that?
>had sex with my boss and got her pregnant at 15
>her "dad" still has no clue
I don't know about that. I do have people who supposedly care about me in my life, but I've been let down by people at the same time so many times in the past that there's just...nothing there anymore and it's been that way for the past few years. Kind of like my emotional switch went on complete off when it comes to caring and stayed there.
I just can't seem to genuinely care anymore, even when someone's being nice to me. It doesn't happen.
I'm not a pet person, so that might not be the best idea, ha, but I do appreciate the suggestion.
Well, i don't have to do it.
In this days (i lost my grandmother) i was reading alot about Nde (Near-death experience).
I found that rare case of Pamela Reynolds, then i started reading about Elisabeth Kubler-Ross' and Konstantin Korotkov, after that; i don't know what comes next but i'm not afraid of dying anymore, i just live in peace now.
So i think that my "secret" isn't a secret anymore.
"Tell me one last thing," said Harry. "Is this real? Or has this been happening inside my head?"
Dumbledore beamed at him, and his voice sounded loud and strong in Harry's ears even though the bright mist was descending again, obscuring his figure.
"Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?"
I like Harry Potter, a lot, this is for you my friend.
Me and my cousin used to suck each other's dicks when we were like 15. It was pretty gay, he said he wasn't gay though.
I slept with my cousin and fell in love with her.
My girlfriend is legit hot, at least for an Asian broad. My friends are all jealous. My enemies, even more so. But only my best friend, and my boss, know how annoying she truly is. She's on a whole new level of narcissistic and petulant - like a spoiled child sometimes.
Her voice grates my nerves, and she does stupid shit to betray my trust. It's turning me off from wanting to even fuck her. She's become an annoying, boring, psychopathic little runt that I'm exposed to day in and day out. If I could, I'd end things with her, but we live together and share a lease, so I'm stuck at this point, especially with no savings.
TL,DR: I don't even dig my girlfriend anymore, and I find her annoying as fuck.
I'm a boy, 18, and I do blowjobs for money even in group. I started with one guy i know when i was drunk and it turns me on a lot, only suck guys of my city I've suck almost every popular guy of my age
U can ask me what u want if u want
obviously youve never been ther how would you know. and thats not unknowable thats been common knowledge since we were in africa still hairy tripping balls following the cows around.
>most every religion can be traced back to a psychedelic experiance
>Jesus is a mushroom
>muhamed had a dream
>modern science was born because angles
>hinduism/budism are completely psychedelic religions. using your mind and "soma" according to early txt before meditation became more prominent.
DMT is hardcore. You see Aliens in another dimension that you didn't know your mind was capable of entering. They're literally everywhere around you.
And when I say Alien's, I mean, legit extraterrestrial beings.
The best part is that they are in no way looking to hurt or harm anyone on this earth, and in fact want to help them.
Ever wanted to know if Alien's were real? Do DMT. Seriously.
Tried fucking several girls to deal with depression. Immediately after cumming i feel like total shit and want to isolate myself from the world, and feel guilty about it. Now i just dont do it anymore. I dont go outside, i just read books and workout all week long, reducing my interactions at work and university only for indispensable stuff. I hate being alone but people saturate me.
I beat women regularly. Sometimes they are drunk single mother whores I pick up from clubs and other times they are prostitutes.
It's very stressful, but I get so much enjoyment from it.
I steal from them afterwards as well.
Different poster....dogs only help until your mother poisons them to death with aspartame and they get forcibly ripped put of your life leaving you even more alone and empty than you started
>I'm aware that I can do better than some annoying rat who annoys the shit outta me.
But you don't even have enough money to get a new apartment? Who's going to want your poor ass.
>obviously youve never been ther how would you know
That's exactly my point...I don't know what happens after we die. But what I do know is that having your mind altered by a drug as strong as DMT doesn't prove anything that's in the real world.
>most every religion can be traced back to a psychedelic experiance
And that's why all religions are full of shit. You're only proving my point
The rest of your post shortened my life expectancy by 3 years
the other side is all around us. we just have to be open to seeing it.
and that harry potter ref is kick ass perfect
I work at a good job. I have the opportunity to make good money shortly. I gotta buy a new car first though, since my old one took a shit on me.
Life ain't easy. I don't come from a family with any money whatsoever.
easy to make in your freezer tons of dmt containing plants all over the world as well as other natural alkaloids that have amazing ethnogenic properties. i am now a happy person and i honestly cant thank the dmt god/aliens/other demensional beings enough.
>I don't come from a family with any money whatsoever.
Me either, but I was still able to get out of my lease and rent a new apartment after my girlfriend and I broke up.
You enjoy her admit it.
>I have the opportunity to make good money shortly.
>I gotta buy a new car first
>Life ain't easy
Holy shit. No wonder she's a bitch to you. It's her who could do better.
Man the fuck up!
Anyone who has done DMT knows that death is nothing more than an intra-dimensional step into another world of pure qualia 'life', that literally allows you to be everywhere, all at once, as everything.
There's a reason they're classified as Schedule 1 drug - the government does not want people to know what little control they have, which is something everyone would realize if they took it.
Furthermore, there is a reason why people say Heaven, in a Christian sense, is "infinite", and taking DMT would illustrate that reason.
Truth is, everyone goes to "heaven", the only difference between a someone "who deserves it" and someone "who doesn't" is that the one who deserves it can appreciate it as it is, rather than fear it and be overwhelmed by it.
I had an online relationship that I fucked up that way. Really good girl in like every way but I have difficulties expressing myself anywhere but in person so I came off as a sex hungry animal.
Funny thing though, I'm the complete opposite irl. Sucks that we never ended up meeting so she could see the real me. I never even apologized for making her put herself in a mental institution.
Life goes on, can only learn from past mistakes so fuck it.
Is this someone type of way to sway me from using DMT?
I've been fucking my best friends mom and sister for the last two months best friend and his dad don't know kinda feel guilty cuz lied to his face about his sis but don't feel bad about the mom she's a whore who loves the d
No way. Do DMT. Seriously. That was not a post trying to sway you from it at all, in fact, it's a post encouraging it. DMT, Psilocybin, and LSD are all incredible drugs for fundamental enlightenment. You will become a better individual for having taken them, and you will understand the ripple effect that occurs everywhere you turn, with every action you take.
I had a work friend who knows people who sell it. We haven't talked in a while but when I get a new job I'll try to re establish communication with him. If not I'll look on the Deep Web.
also fun fact there are several hundred grams of dmt floating in your brain. its how you dream its how youre born and its how you die.
you must doubt real life because real life is just happening in your head too man. im sorry youre completely stuck in your ego and unable to experience the universe.
you should read the actual dmt studies before youre so quick to dismiss everything
This is a confession thread, not a feels/help me thread.
>im sorry youre completely stuck in your ego and unable to experience the universe
No I've been sober for a few months and I based my worldview on science instead of people who are high all of the time.
you can make it at home easy
>you can make it at home easy
When I was 15 I jerked off in my sisters friends (18 at the time) bathing suit bottom. MFW she put those bottoms on not 5 minutes later, gets pregnant, has my kid, doesn't know and was confused as fuck cause she never had sex before. MFW I realize this was how Christianity started.
Is this pasta? Or have you admitted this before? I've read this before.
>4 times a year DMT
definately not high all the time
just use the tools already in our body to become intune with what you cant see with your eyes
I know of war crimes and where to find evidence and those who are guilty to have commited said crimes. Didn't tell no one cause i want to leave all this shit behind me. Am doing to good now for me to think about the Past...
What's real for you?
Being sober for a few months and thinking that your world view is just science instead of anything else? I know that science is just another tool to understand where we are, but you're sounding like an Atheist.
I don't have anything against that, it's just your opinion and i respect that.
I never been on drugs like marijuana, lsd, or something like that.
But you have to admit, drugs are there, in your tea, on your coffee, on Coca-Cola, on your PC, on whatever, your brain is your higher drug system.
In fact, if you like science you'll have to know that there's more dimensions than the "real" one, i hope you experience the other dimension when you die, maybe there's nothing, i don't know but who knows?
I took a tour of the White House once and the president kept looking at me and finally pulled me aside and told me he was going to give a private tour of the Oval Office. Shortly thereafter, he locked us both inside and demanded a blowjob, the consequences of refusal being the nuclear destruction of a small country. I reluctantly complied and spent the next hour making sweet passionate love to Obama. I am responsible for saving millions of lives . Thank me.
>Being sober for a few months and thinking that your world view is just science instead of anything else
I've been adhering to scientific thinking for some time now. Since I was 13 to be specific.
>I know that science is just another tool to understand where we are
Wrong. Science is the only tool we have to gain empirical data. Any other method is based on conjecture and personal beliefs.
>but you're sounding like an Atheist
I believe I previously described her last time as one hot piece of daddy issues and mental illness. Like I said there's more to the story. I'll get started on a green text tonight. Look out for it soon.
I think I still have feelings for this guy even though I ruined any he had for me. Now he's with someone else and I feel shitty because I still hit on him even though I shouldn't. I feel guilty every time I jerk off to the pictures he's sent me over the years.
> do dmt. seriously was atheist until then. now i know what happens when you die
I mean, I'm still atheist, but I was atheist until then, too.
I'm open to new data as long as it's based on facts.
>Sometimes you can't explain some facts
>The big bang is just a theory
You're right which is why I hold the belief that the origin of the universe is unknowable. Just like death.
How the fuck is the world round you idiot? Have you ever placed anything on the underside of a basketball? What happens? It falls. If the world was round people would fall off of it, obviously.
You do know that there are people who have been in space? Right?
yeeeeah, that's what you said. I remember reading that and laughing.
Because the whole reason Lucifer was cast out of heaven was cause he hated the ever loving fuck out of humanity.
I've taken a few theology courses. Satan is an inaccurate translation that has been passed on. In truth "satan" would be better translated as "adversary". Satan is not one singular evil figure but instead was used to describe those who oppose god. There is no singular "satan." They've combined the concept of lucifer with this singular adversary to create a boogey man.
shit man. dat so sad! I feel sory for Yu
>pic related, its Yu
You're stupid as any believer, being agnostic is maybe the best kind of action.
I like science too, but i don't keep my mind closed.
Science can't explain it all, just like religion, both are kids fighting about who got the higher ego.
That's what i learned on this days, some kind of things are just unknowable for us, we just have to live without being closed on one thing.
I'm a pathological lyer. I wanna bang my best friends GF. We're good friends if she gave me the chance I'd pounce on that pussy. I wouldn't even feel bad if my friend found out.
Science says how the universe and life works based on evidence
Religion says how the universe is because of magical sky daddy/mommy regardless of evidence to the contrary
Yep people atheists who adhere to the scientific method are exactly the same
The second my boyfriend told me "If you ever left me I'd kill myself" all the love I had for him flew away forever. That was two years ago, and I'm still scared to leave him.
I've been fucking his best friend for the past year and a half, and i'd give anything for both of them to stop loving me and let me be alone.
The fuck am I supposed to knew you damn brony ginger nigger?
fucking kids these days born after mitch hedberg had already long passed not understanding the context of his time nor why his perfect delivery stood as a shining light of democracy against the polish canadian nazi threats of water fluoridation and chemtrails allowing their retarded single mothers to create such filth to populate what will be deemed society after god's own generation has finally passed beyond the suffering of this life, you pigshit pancake eating little fucks you. Buy Americano gringo noches, copiche? You little faggots wouldn't know a war if it came out of the heavens and dug a hole in your ass. I used to bang your mom when she was younger, firmest little tits you'd ever seen, and her backdoor as pink as the front. Your dad, too, the faggot. You've never seen such a fine blowjob after a few smacks to the face with a letter opener, and such crying, my cock was never so hard as that day, except when I was shooting those faggots coming up the beaches at normandy, they all figured it was nazis, but really I just hated those fucking darkie squads, couldn't find any so I just popped a couple dego's and had a round of lil' pete in my foxhole that night. Sweetest lad you'd ever met, whole company shared him, till he popped himself after that nigger incident. Just as well, no use for an asshole that loose anyway, right?
Quit my job 2 months ago, couldn't stand to be there another day. Every night going home wanting to eat a bullet. Outta cash, no motivation to look for a new job. Pretty much waiting to get kicked out my buddys place then probably drive my car into the quarry. Idk, all in due time, I guess.
I've done heroin about 5 or 6 times in the past 8 months or so. Which is fucking incredible for me. I was an addict for about 3 years before that. But I'm dating someone now who doesn't really understand addiction. I broke down and confessed after the first 3 times but I've just been lying after that because I don't think they or anyone else in my life can handle that information. I feel fucking awful lying about it but if I tell everyone that I slipped up I could potentially ruin my life and ruin one of the best relationships I've ever had.
Be careful with that. You might only be able to get aroused at rekt content. After a year jacking it in Afghanistan portajohns I can't get hard without smelling shit. I have to sniff a girls ass before I'm able to go even if I get my dick sucked. Shit is awful
stuff like this
I could've potentially injured/killed a baby after knocking a fairly large rock off a cliff with a beach at the bottom where the family was. The rock flew super fast right past the pram and would've easily smashed a skull if it had hit one. Glad it didn't though.
I am lactose intolerant and I eat dairy to punish myself
For example my friend died of cancer last week. I never went to see him in the hospital because I couldnt bare to.
I heard he died and felt like a real piece of shit for not being there for him, so I ate a tub of ice cream and ate saganaki as punishment.
I never outright said I was an atheist and you are replying to two different people. You ask yourself this question "Is there a god?" I ask myself the question "If there is a god would it change how I behave and treat other people?" If you answered yes then you're likely a piece of shit. I simply don't need to answer every question. I choose to answer more practical and relevant ones to my life. It simply doesn't matter to me whether or not there is a god. We'll all find out sooner or later. So i'm not an atheist, I'm not religous, and I'm not agnostic either. Wrap your petulant mind around that for a bit.
Are you going to elaborate, or just make wishy-washy bullshit statements as if you have some special insight?
What do you mean by "mainstream" science, for example? Do you mean actual ideas currently held canon within a given discipline, or do you mean "mah absolute-truth scientific dictate" as spouted by science popularizers and columnists?
Why don't you use some of your mystic knowledge of how the world works to engineer something more impressive than an empty fridge, freshly pissed pants, and yet another irremovable carpet stain.
Oh wait, you're a fucking deadbeat. That's right.
I don't know enough about any particular conspiracy to convince anyone of one but I do know that calling anyone who questions what the masses believe about reality a tin foil hat wearing idiot means humanity is in trouble
This made me feel sad. I'm sorry you're going through that anon. I've lost attraction to my gf of 4 years in a similar way. I'm counting my pennies till I can move out an leave her and she has no idea.
I was going to leave the man alone after he conceded but goddamn anon
I am secretly hansom, halfish rich and have a beautiful horny wife. But i come here on /b/ and /r9k/ to play robot and NEET just because i need a contrast to my otherwise perfect life
>I do know that calling anyone who questions what the masses believe about reality a tin foil hat wearing idiot means humanity is in trouble
If that person has legitimate evidence and people call him a tinfoil wearing conspiracy theorist I would understand but anon hasn't provided shit.
> had the opportunity to nuke a country
> chose to be a fag instead
But you're not supposed to use your mouth for hours!!! Sick fuck ruining that dentists hard work. Bastard
No, everyone tries to explain based on what they want to.
Science = Facts.
Religion = Spiritualism.
And the truth is? = We don't know anything.
What's this all about? No one knows.
It there a God or just nothing when you die? No one knows.
But hey, if you feel good trying to explaining what's there with science, go ahead, it's the same for the Religion.
I feel ya. 8 bucks an hour and a 300$ paycheck won't do shit for me. And that's litterally the best I will find here right now where I'm at. Everywhere else is either shittier pay or just in general a shit place to work.
I mean that science based on earth is fundamentally flawed, in that it's based solely on elements and reactions present ONLY on earth or nearby surrounding planets. There has been extensive research done since the 1940's and the arrival of EBE 1 within the top tier elite forms of government. The scientific community as the layman knows it is not guaranteed, it is in fact, an incredibly well organized, massive, cash dump, to lure people to adhere to any and all forms of theory and principal, and to actively sway the majority of the populace away from religion which still allows for segregationist control, and into one international ideology that allows for complete control.
Basically, everything we're told is 1/1000th of what we actually know, and we're fed it at such a pitiful rate that we may as well be slackjawed morons waiting for the retard shortbus.
It's a well engineered and conscious effort to enslave the 99th percentile (more like 99.9th percentile) into believing that they're in slow, but steady control.
You're fed garbage all the way from public school and up, just to work at a mediocre job for the rest of your life, where many discernible factors are put on your plate to create the illusion of direct/indirect manipulation by way of other members of society, the "government", and other BS.
You have zero control. They have limited control. The ones who are truly in control aren't even indirectly influencing your life, in fact, they're so far ahead of your life that you may as well be a speck on the goddamn wall.
You're nothing. Always have been, and always will be. And believe me when I say, it's for the best of not only this earth, but the entirety of mankind that you stay that way.
Tell me about it bitch.
Janitor raped me in school toilet when I was 11. Never told anyone and I'll never have sex with anyone because it left scars and I look mutilated. My gynecologist mentioned it once but that's all I've ever talked about it.
you could work your ass off for four years for free, and then you have a college degree.
I know you're depressed right now, but do you think you could pay shitloads of your own money to do four years of hard work?
This one time..... I threw a rock, and it broke a window
Talk it out honey. It'll help you heal. Tell us everything. Pics help heal too. Pics. Pics?
I used to tutor this woman
She's old enough to be my mom
I wanted her really bad but she just treats me like a son
I really want to be in bed with her
She worships me in a non sexual way
Everyday I talk to her I slam my head against the wall because I cannot tell her how I feel even though she's always like "if you have any problems, anything at all, tell me about it, be open"
My life is ok but I don't want to love anymore. Everything is difficult and hard. I don't kill myself because I don't have courage enough. I have a bf but I don't love him I just don't want to be alone with myself. I have a job but all I want is travel around the world.
My ex wife and I used to cruise all-ages clubs downtown and pick up desperate teenagers, take them to a hotel and get them fucked up on whiskey and xanax, then video tape me fucking then. Once we brought my ex wife's dog and had him fuck this girl while she was wasted.
You'll enjoy this one, though I consider your world view lazy if not damaging.
"If a 'religion' is defined to be a system of ideas that contains unprovable statements, then Gödel taught us that mathematics is not only a religion, it is the only religion that can prove itself to be one."
Dude.... I've litterally got 4 cents to my name, and an education of only up to 10th grade. College and money are no where in my ball park atm. Depression and self loathing is all I've got.
I enjoy watching ancient aliens. I guess I do believe in aliens but not in visitation. I like it for the ancient sites and laughing at the crackpot theories. "How did they do this?" Slavery... not aliens. It's just funny when they spit their nonsense. I find it soothing.
Han Solo is the only one that's confirmed. There's another movie called Rogue One which will be about the first Death Star plans being stolen. Could be good but I'm more interested in the ST.