>someone selling dream dress on BST thread >"if interested, leave your email" >finally got the money for it, can pay immediately, very excited >leave email, it's the same day they posted it and no one else has replied to them, so it should be fine >never get a response
>spend a few years looking for new hobbies because lost interest in everything >find lolita >have shitty job that doesn't pay well >have to save to buy lolita >get fed up >find better paying job >can just buy lolita left and right >realized today that the company is a bit fleeting
Fuck. I can probably stay for like a year or so? But... this is a small company that has very slow business sometimes. Especially lately. I have to gain the experience but I also really need to look into other things. I spent all my depression time looking for new hobbies so now I have them but now I have to get my life together and still be able to afford something like Lolita and I don't know what to fucking do because the only thing I am passionate about is these stupid dresses.
But next week I can buy dreamy planetarium! yay...
>have been trying to sell a dress for a month that I keep reducing even though it's already way below the market value and I thought it was popular >stupid buyer on eBay opens a dispute on hefty priced item the day that the tracking number shows that it arrived in their state. Took 5 days to ship it, wtf. Could tell it was a nightmare buyer as they sent heaps of messages asking dumb questions before they bought it (listen to your instincts) >dream dress came up for sale and by the time invoice came through, dispute was open and now that my balance is in the negative I can't afford it
Fuck, I hope someone buys that dress or the asshole closes the dispute soon so I don't get blacklisted/miss out on the dress.
Update: I just got a message asking to sell the dress for half the price shipped. Why am I attracting really flaky people with this dress and now this? On top of it, my pet is needing the vet.
>last exam of my two-week exam block tomorrow >still have tons of info to memorise and cram >tiny attention span not helping >start feeling super depressed and get really pissed off at insignificant things like a game lagging >try to think of how my friend has offered to take me interstate to go to a con with other friends >try to think of all the sewing i'll be able to do after, something i've been waiting for for a long time >remembers that my machine is broken and i need to get it fixed asap for two costumes i have to complete in two weeks for a long-anticipated birthday party >however, machine servicing can take up to a week or more and i'm not really familiar with the garments i'll be making >remembers how i've promised to help friends make their cosplays/parts of it for the interstate con in a month >still have to gather remaining materials >still have to ask parents to help me get stuff for my own cosplays >worried they'll refuse even though they've always been very supportive of me cosplaying >starts worrying i won't be able to pattern the costumes well >starts worrying about my own funds >starts worrying about my friends' funds >starts wondering if i really can do it >gets more depressed
fuck, didn't mean for this to get so long. i'm so fucking close but it just feels like the last hurdle is a huge chasm i have to somehow jump over. pray for me, seagulls.
>Diagnosed with Epilepsy as a small child. >Find lolita and lurk for 5 years. >Too poor for insurance, but not poor enough to get Medicaid. >All my money goes to medication, bills, gas, rent... >My sister goes through my laptop history, sees LM is the most visited site. >Bitch makes an account and buys me a dress.
NGL, I was mad about her searching my history, but damn if that isn't the nicest shit anyone has ever done for me.
>have sort of a "friend" who has helped me out in the past but is pretty much a dick, easing out of the friendship at this point >organising a cosplay meet at a con this past weekend, one each day >this has been all he's talked about for the past year, he blew off working on his degree to focus on cosplay >finally see pictures of his cosplay >his actual costume is fine, his prop is amazing, but everything else is a trainwreck >try suggesting things to him to make it better, get shot down, okay w/e >con this weekend, I can't go >see him posting though that he's changing the location of the meet-up an hour beforehand >at least 10 people posting in the group asking where everyone is >he did this last time too, and me and my friends all told him it's rude and will make the meet crap >biggest con in my country, so photos are everywhere >looks like a large section of the group just fucked off and did a separate meet/shoot without him >not surprised >not sure if I should feel bad for him >remember how the dude only showers if forced to, usually by his mother, and never washed his hands after using the bathroom >yeah I don't feel bad for him at ALL
>be me lacking social skills >do well in school >people want to smooch off my brain >pls no I don't want to be your pretend-friend >too much of a pushover to tell them to fuck off >use lolita as a shield so people stay away
>After being kicked out of my comm I tried to go on fb and keep the few girls from the comm as friends and make plans and stuff. >Being on fb is starting to depress me. just reminds me of the fun and friends I used to have. >Realize how obsessed I was with lolita, when I have nothing else to obsess over. >Feel sad an empty,till I realize I have an amazing wardrobe, my family is great, I live in my own home and I have a great fiance. >Now back to being focused on moving, travel, college, my relationship and all the good in my life. >Felt weird at first, but now It feels really good. >Realized almost everyone in my comm lives really mundane and basic lives and lolita is the only thing they control. Made me want to run far as hell away from everyone who lives a dysfunctional weebish sad life. >I legit feel sorry for these poor girls.
>>8684866 It might just not be a popular dress right now, but if you still anything for a really low price you attract the worst people. Try putting it for only a couple of days in lacemarket for a cheap but fair price, make sure your photos are nice.
>at local cons every other weekend this month because they all booked at same time and couldn't swap dates with venues >having personal problems that I can deal with outside of this >problems follow to cons >focus on my work, ignore the source >last con for the month >there's a collective following me >like a really bad attempt at watching >everyone else notices it >I'm done >confide in close friend >feel better when she pulls them aside and reads them the right act >another group had been following me >but in awe >all dressed from same series as me >feel better with them knowing they were admiring work >we take selfies and pics together >mfw that group made my day so much better
I guess I'm bitter that it should've been my one year anniversary but instead was spent trying to hide as much as possible. Cosplayers are so crazy.
>want to be updated on past drama and lolcows >use the farm for it >tfw half the threads are anons picking out a body part and bashing it >tfw everyone's fat unless we're talking about the ana threads >tfw the HAES thread seems to be the most active
I just want to read up on some drama, why is everyone on there so obsessed with weight? I thought it was bad here but I was wrong.
>>8685165 Because appearently telling someone who doesn't want to be your friend that its cool, you don't want to be their friend either is considered bullying now. Whenever she is the one who friend requested me, and deleted me and then sent me a message explaining why. Then she assumed a bunch of my fb status were about her and confronted me, I told her she was being ridiculous and even though there was no evidence I was banned.
>>8685196 You're so obsessed with it and post about it constantly, I doubt you're over it at all, moreover it's boring as fuck
>everyone in my comm lives really mundane and basic lives and lolita is the only thing they control. Made me want to run far as hell away from everyone who lives a dysfunctional weebish sad life. >I am truely at peace. I wish all them happiness and hope they are able to move on in life as well. lol
People always tag/post on pictures on tumblr things like "Literally my aesthetic" and it pisses me off. The amount of times I've seen a comment or tag like that and gone through someone's tumblr to find nothing remotely related, or a bunch of boring unrelated selfies is so annoying. You can't tag hime gyaru images like that and then just have a tumblr full of Dr Who gifs and shitty selfies in teeshirts and unstyled hair. I know I sound like a bitter old person, but I just don't get why people do it. I want to find things that are related to the things I like, but the way everyone has to chip in on something with comments like "THIS IS MY SPIRIT AESTHETIC" is ruining any hope of it.
I know it's OT, but the whole Zamii thing pisses me off. I just can't comprehend why there were so many hate blogs, how they shat on every single post she made, and would constantly send hate for the most petty reasons I've ever seen.
I've seen a lot of shit from tumblr, but this one really takes the cake. I'm absolutely disgusted at how even after her suicide attempt, they're just going "UUUM WE WERE JUST JOKING"
>>8684989 Your sister is a champ. Also look into Obamacare, anon. Obamacare and Medicare/Medicaid are not the same thing, Obamacare is a good middle ground between Medicaid and privatized insurance. Their healthcare plans are surprisingly affordable and they have some pretty nice packages that could help you out. A lot of my coworkers have Obamacare because both our company's pay and healthcare packages are a complete joke.
>>8685240 I honestly still can't believe some people were proud users of that reddit. They always just took some random person who posted a picture online and then hated on them. I feel like there's a big difference with 'putting yourself out there' and actively trying to search for pictures of anyone overweight only to then bash on them.
It also always surprises me (on the farm, not reddit) how they're willing to say that someone who's fat is always a horrible person and in no way things like food addiction can possibly exist. Or just how even some girls that are average weight get shit on, and if they can't go after weight, they'll say something like "what a huge nose!!". It's always the nose. Always.
I'm not even a fat apologist, I've just never seen the fun of bashing people for their weight to an unreasonable degree.
>>8684471 To the anon in the last thread. I've gone through something similar with my depression. Except, I know how expensive clothes and such are so if I'm at an all time low, I don't even go on my computer. Get in your car and go to the store, window shop. I actually altered what I look at when depressed, so instead of dropping a hundred on clothes everytime I'm depressed, I go and look at plants, and I buy a $3 succulent. I accumulated a bunch of little plants in the last year but it's good, because rather than buying things now, I go and repot a few plants and that takes me mind off of things.
Try to switch focuses from binge buying clothes to something less harmful for your wallet. It really depends on your own integrity, you have to actively force yourself to do it.
>>8685243 No superiority here, I don't think I am better than anyone. I just don't care enough about people that don't effect my income to really hold ill will. why would I be bitter? I could still get together with some lolitas if I wanted? and if they dont like me, I don't want to make myself a target to be disliked openly. Its happened before to me, so maybe I am just used to it.
>>8685255 >Or just how even some girls that are average weight get shit on >I'm not even a fat apologist, I've just never seen the fun of bashing people for their weight to an unreasonable degree. If someone's grossly obese in a bikini or whatever, fair enough, but if someone's average? Or a bit chubby? Have they ever been outside their houses? Do they have supermodel mothers, friends and girlfriends? /cgl/ is actually pretty good for this though, much better than I thought when I first lurked here.
>>8685282 I have an eating disorder related to OCD that basically forces me to cram down food until I am immobile. I am in the lower half of the BMI scale. Am I super skinny, no, but I probably fit in with the decent looking crowd. And yet people have told me I would look so great if I lost a few pounds and okay, maybe I would. But it's not really their business especially if I'm not out there posting cosplay pictures and just living my life. Ugh the feels are so strong. I would love to lose weight but it's hard to do when I work extremely hard to maintain.
>>8685282 While I can understand the joking especially when we're talking about obese people, these days I'm really way less into it.
And yeah I agree, cgl is pretty okay with it (some think this means cgl is HAES just because it isn't 24/7 bashing). On the other hand, cgl seems to have issues with what really is a healthy body, probably influenced by all the snapshots of petite asian girls in jfash, which is seen as a standard.
>>8685287 Good luck with your disorder, anon. I believe in you! >12 years old, dad moves out, leaving me and brother with alcoholic mother >very little food in the house, 90% junk, no fruit or veg, but we always had bread >no allowance to buy better food, couldn't get job >had no food nutrition classes or information, thought bread was good for you, so tried to make sure me and brother ate more of that than chips, fried food etc. >both got predictably fat >situation didn't improve for another 4 years >he managed to shift the weight during puberty, I can't >everyone at work is always surprised by how healthy I eat because I'm still frigging fat >but yeah, we're all lazy and greedy
>always been made fun of for being pale >in my country (Balkans) the ideal look seems to be dyed black flat ironed hair + fake tan for days, pretty much pic related >mom always called me 'cheese' and put her clowny pink lipstick on my cheeks 'so I can look healthy for a change' >got the 'cheese'/'corpse'/'cancer patient'/'drug addict' comments at least once a day >it's not like it's uncommon here, but people seem to think it's unsightly for some reason and condition their friends and children to go tanning/use fake tanner >finally learn to love my skin somewhat >today some drunken slut downtown starts hollering at me in the middle of the street, telling me I should off myself instead of wasting away and letting my family suffer, calling me a drug addict etc >now feel like shit man what the fuck is up with people these days
>>8684912 With those I don't know if they'd be cheaper to make or not but I would assume. There are a bunch of tutorials running around from where the series spiked in popularity so it's worth looking into before dropping big bucks
>>8685371 In those situations I usually start crying about muh civil war which shuts them up pretty quickly. It's retarded, being bullied is a problem no matter what you're bullied for. I've been bullied for my skin colour and nose, which doesn't mean I have it better or worse than someone who's been bullied for idk being hairy or having buckteeth
>Bursitis in my hip >Keep trying to work out so I don't turn into a fucking lard ball >Can't go more than 30min at a brisk walk >Uphill? No siree bob. Aggravates hip even more >Simple solution is a cortisone injection into the bursa in my hip >I have a fear of needles so violent that I have to be 100% unconscious for a syringe to come anywhere near me >None of the doctors I've talked to can seem to grasp that concept, keep offering me local anesthesia which, surprise, has to come from a needle >I just want to be able to exercise again so I don't get so fat that my JSKs don't fit
Feels fucking shitty, man. I can't even be on my feet for more than two hours at this point.
>been lurking in lolita for 4 years >finally got babbys first coord together >nothing special, just basic sweet >feeling confidant it's not ita even if it's nothing special >going to "harajuku fashion walk" with jfash friend to show it off >my dreams are finally coming true
>>8685533 Ugh, white dresses covered in blood are boring and gross. Guro could be so much more than what it is (it stands for "grotesque", not "gore"!), I'm honestly disappointed in what it's become. Fuck people and their narrow minds, go on with your creative take on guro, anon!
>>8685533 Honestly, I love gritty body horror guro instead of what everyone seems to end up doing. We've had some great guro threads before, so if you looked in the archives I'm sure you can get some inspiration.
>>8685638 No, my mom watched that Living Doll TLC special and now thinks she's the expert on "those crazy dolly girls who think they're anime, I hope you're not one of them anon haha, they're so sad and pathetic" I just prefer to be non-confrontational in general.
>get nameless poem >dream dress >plan on wearing it to school >crosses are on it >school had a religious massacre a few weeks back >afraid of offending someone Am I just over thinking this? It'll be a month past the incident. I'll only be at school for an hour or so. I'm not super religious, although I am a Minister. > I've heard of churches not letting lolitas in for 'making fun of religion'
I have a serious question for you. Do you think it is okay to buy Lolita dresses just because you like them? Even though you can't wear them too often?
I wear Lolita maybe 4 to 5 times a year if it's a good year. I am in the situation where I don't have any fixed expenses so I can afford one dress every two to three months. Yes, it makes me feel good and maybe I should buy 'senseless' stuff as long as I carelessly can but I still feel strange about it.
>4 brand pieces sitting in my closet >next month I could buy one of my dream dresses, even in a set >then all my money will be gone again for Lolita >do I have a problem?
>>8685758 >do I have a problem? I don't think so. It's your money, your decision, your life. I know plenty of girls who love lolita but they don't wear it often at all, and that's perfectly fine. Honestly, if you think about it, it's unlikely that girls who buy AP's OTT prints or BTSSB's frill monsters wear them casually on a regular basis but that doesn't stop them from buying what they like. Buy what you want when you want and wear it whenever you want.
>>8685758 What >>8685793 said, your money, your decision. Buy whatever the fuck you want, why should anybody else have a say in how often you wear your clothing? I don't wear lolita more than once every two months or so, and to me, it makes it even more special, like dressing up for a special occasion, even if it's just going to tea with my comm. Live your life like you want to, anon
Mainly because I do the same thing and I buy like 3 dresses a month when I can only really wear lolita every 1-1.5 months. But it's your money. As long as you're responsible with it and spend your fun money on what you enjoy most I don't see a problem at all.
>>8685715 Okay but you are super obviously taking up like a bunch of replies in these threads. You might want to be more subtle if you want people to drop you on lolcow. I'm not even trying to be rude or make this personal.
>Weather finally starts cooling down > I can wear lolita tomorrow for the board game night! >Go to university and see they are having a blood drive >Decide to be good and donate >Everything goes well, rest for half a hour and then go wait for my classes >10 minutes later feel everything going black >Shit I should get myself back to the paramedics >Wake up on floor with students around me and blood on my forehead >Medics arrive and take me to hospital >Got stitches in my forehead and lip >Not going to be looking pretty in lolita for a while, let alone go to the board game night. >I just wanted to do good
>>8685254 I'll have to actually check that out. I mean, I've heard about Obamacare, but only in the way that everyone either hates it or doesn't know how it works. I just sort of save up enough to buy a months worth of Lamictal. I'll be back after some furious Googling. Thanks Anon!
>Got so drunk at a con and ended up sleeping with someone >Can't remember his name, face, what he looked like or what even happened >Scared to say anything because hurr durr if you get drunk you deserve it
>>8686472 You are the reason Japanese vendors hate the West. You asshole.
>>8686492 Grey area anon, they might be feeling the exact same thing. If you literally can't remember anything and you feel okay, you should try to forget it. These things happen. But if something does actually feel wrong with your body or your memories, or you remember something that doesn't feel right then you should talk to a friend or reach out to a local service. Don't just let it stew.
That anon that wanted to cosplay Rin from a few threads back.
>Finally made up my mind and order costume. >Some problem with shipping so my package was stuck in china for a while and almost got sent back to seller, cue freaking out. >Somehow got fixed and super relieved. >Almost a week without any updates. >Checks shipping this afternoon, status says it's delivered. >It's not.
I'll check again tomorrow and maybe it's only a slight delay but I'm just feeling really bad right now.
>>8685144 Most of us are in college. Just because mommy didn't give us our own house doesn't mean our lives are "sad and dysfunctional". Most of us don't brag about our travels and lives 24/7. Please take a few steps back, take a few deep breaths and chill out.
>>8685760 Well I was going under the assumption that everything would have been deleted and there wouldn't be multiple blogs about airing out someone else's dirty laundry
These people are literally the worst and I'm surprised their arms don't hurt from reaching that far for something to put against her. It's disgusting. Zamii wasn't even that shitty of a person to begin with
>>8685436 You don't have to be unconscious to get a needle. If you don't face your fear, it'll always hang over your head. The more you go without facing it, it the more it builds on itself in a negative feedback loop, seeming more and more unconquerable. Just do it.
My redhead sister got a 'lol ginger' comment ONCE in elementary school and now she always pulls the muh hair victim card because she 'had to dye it once!!!11'. Now her color's starting to fade into a dull brown and she won't stop crying about how UGLY her hair is, with me, a brunette, in the same room. She's always gotten all the attention, glad to see her knocked down a peg tbh.
>love cosplay >darker skin >want to cosplay my waifu >Fear I'm gonna fuck up my waifu due to dark skin HOW DO I LIVE ON. I generally don't care about my skin colour in cosplay, but I'm genuinely scared to fuck up my waifu over this.
>>8686760 If you have absolutely no clue what you are talking about, it's generally smarter to not speak at all. I have PTSD and EVERY time I go to the dr. for minor procedures they have to put me under, otherwise I will unconsiously hinder their progress. >hurr durr just do it
> Move far, far away from my home to get away from my mother. > Made awesome lolita friend. > First real friend I've had since I was thirteen. > Never celebrated my birthday before so she's taking me out to the city to show me fun things to do. > Planning coords together and dressing up for it.
Like, holy shit, I'm so excited. I'm turning twenty, and I'm so excited about having cake on my birthday and celebrating it with someone. I wish I could share just how happy I am right now with the world. I feel so fortunate to be able to do something like that.
>Knows lolita since teenager but never ever think of wearing it because too expensive and feels like can't do it >Meet a girl who is into lolita, and recently become super close friend >Dress me up in her house once, then thinking about really trying the fashion >Planning my fist coord today >Simple and kinda casual, but I like it, and she's so excited about it >Wearing it this saturday
Sorry for the rambling and broken english, but I feel so proud and excited about this, gulls! I'm still a little insecure about it, but it's so good having friends that motivate you to do what you really love!
>>8686501 When shipping something of such expensive value, it's common sense to include tracking to protect yourself from these situations. Don't you read the buy/sell horror story threads on here? Idiot.
>>8687709 Are you able to take a taxi or something from your house to where you're going instead. Or if not able to go that far in a taxi, take a taxi from your house to the bus/train station? The cost to use a taxi to bypass walking through it might be worth it.
>>8687784 Yeah this is what I had in mind, a non-conspicuous coat and regular shoes, and maybe take off any jewelry/accessories that you could easily put back on? Are you taking the train (PATCO) through there? It's not normally too unsafe on the train, but it can't hurt to take what precautions you can.
I think Brolita is prissy and sissy as fuck. But I would never give you shit its your choice. Stay out of the ghetto. Me and my m8 went to a party in a old industrial part of town dressed as droogs from clockwork orange. Some ghetto denzin said something smart ass under his breath as he walked past us and I just dropped the steal chain I was holding so it hit the ground but remained in my hand. That dude took off running.
>want to open Etsy store >have giant bookmark folder with all the supplies I'd need >have name picked out and patterns made and everything >do some research and so many people are doing similar things that it doesn't even feel worth it >don't have the money to get projects started anyway because going back to school is more important >so much discouragement
>tfw you love an artist/commissioner's work but dislike them as a person and wouldn't feel good about giving them money >can never decide what's more important, my dignity or getting something I really like
I usually try to make my own things in these cases so I don't have to worry about this problem but whenever I feel lazy and have spare cash I really have to dig down deep and ask myself if I can forgive their actions/opinions to buy their stuff or not.
>>8687922 Eh, you know what, your money won't last them long in the long run. I dunno how much the commissions are but 20-50 bucks isn't much IRL. Think about it like this, you probably give money to company's you don't fully like all the time too. Probably much more. So why not bite the bullet and get something you like? Sound's like you get the better end of the deal since you don't have to do the work and you get the reward!
>>8686439 Thanks Anon, stitches should be out next week. I didn't go because I'm not feeling very confident in myself after that and decided it's probably best to get some rest.
I know it's vain and that I did something good but now I'm upset that there may be scarring. >Spend all teenage years careful not to get acne scars >Will probably get a forehead scar from this >At least I'll be able to do realistic guro lolita.
>>8687547 I feel really happy for you reading those lines. Enjoy every second of it, let your worries behind you, have a super great time and eat that damn delicious cake!
>>8687911 Just start off smaller. Maybe only share it on your facebook or tumblr for a while before opening a store. So you can see what people like and if you really find buyers (even tho there are many other offerings). If that works well you can use the money you made from the sales to open up the store and make more. And just by the side: Just because there are many doing the same as you doesn't mean they're stuff has a good quality or people like their designs. As long as people see a reason to buy either from you then from others, you'll be fine. It's tough, so be realistic.
>>8687356 Yes, I'm sure you actually have PTSD from needles. It's a damn shame that there is literally nothing that anybody can ever do to get over mental illness. I mean, nobody has ever overcome their fears or panic in the history of mankind, so I guess PTSD is just the criticism-proof albatross you have to wear around your neck. You're such an hero for putting up with your burden instead of trying to get better, if only we could all be as selflessly free from personal liability of self as you.
This is %100 the wrong place to ask about this but any gulls on ADD/ADHD medication? My psychiatrist want me to start and I'm very nervous at the thought of it with the whole longevity vs quality thing. I tried looking at med forums/support groups but it was all very overwhelming.
> Trans > Parents don't know and will be extremely pissed off when they find out > Pick out haircut that is short but somewhat feminine so my parents won't give me problems > Girl at salon goes shorter than targeted > I look like a grade school boy > I'm ecstatic but my parents are gonna give me all their "what are you, a dyke?" bullshit
>in a relationship for 4 years >super in love with this guy and his entire family >planning to move in together >Find out he's been fucking my best friend >They're going to comic con together Part of me hates them so much I can't bare to go because it's such a small con and It's inevitable that I'll run into them. But at the same time I've been working on my coordinate for so long and I want to buy all the star wars shit.
>>8688154 Thanks for the advice, anon. I make cosplay themed accessories. A lot of people make tons of flavor of the month anime stuff but my tastes run more old school. It's an advantage in that it appeals to an older generation that actually has expendable income, but it'll take longer to start selling them since I can't exactly hop on new-school anime bandwagons. In addition to Tumblr maybe I can find some other social media sites that use tags and get some exposure that way.
>had a fall out with my best lolita friend a year back because she was difficult with giving money back I loaned her >see her posting a comment in an event I'm really looking forward to >cringe at her weeb comment >mfw still salty af over the whole ordeal and loathing having to see her face again
>>8688508 Wow anon, that sucks majorly. I hoped you kicked both of their asses out of your life. Maybe you could go with a friend? Just ignore them if you see them. Don't even look their way, you're miles above them. Don't let them ruin your fun!
>>8688515 >>8688523 >>8688583 Thanks you guys. I actually did tell his mom immediately after I found out. I wanted her to know the real reason why I wasn't coming over to visit anymore. She was super understanding about it. And yes, both of them were instantly cut out of my life. I blocked them on every form of social media and changed my number. I might see if a classmate would come with me. Other than that, I just hope the sight of them doesn't throw off my con experience. We only get like 3 a year.
>go to fanmeet run by 'cosplayfamous' person >chat with some other cosplayers >suddenly photographer starts to order everyone to group up by parts of the game >follow those you belong to >suddenly photog looks at you and goes 'not you though' >asks you and two others to leave >ok.jpg >start walk of shame away from the group with the other two >suddenly cosplayfamous person turns around and chimes 'your costumes are amazing though!' after us
>have been busting my ass working and going to school full time >not a lot of time for friends, barely even online >dealing with high fucking anxiety and going to therapy >life is hell >but there's a huge con coming up and I get to wear new coords I've been working on >trying to finish everything in time >so close, feels good >all of a sudden old roommate hits me up >"can I borrow a wig of yours for this outfit of mine for con?" >lived with this guy for six months and he was a total pig, didn't take care of his own stuff let alone mine >"uh I really don't think so, sorry..." >"I'll take great care of it I proooomise" >"no, should have bought a wig in advance like the rest of us" (but nicer, obviously) >a week later, unfrends me on fb, unfollows me on tumblr without warning >posting shit about how he's sick of being walked over because he's a nice person >o-ok There's been so much drama with this guy, especially when it comes to cons. He's just shitty and a manchild but he thinks he's a goodguy.jpg. I'm also thinking this is because he recently confessed to me and I turned him down. He said he was understanding of my life and anxiety and stuff, but maybe I didn't give him enough attention anyway. Whatever, fuck. I don't want to stress over anything else, I just want to enjoy this damn con. /rant
>>8688626 Yes, thank you. 1. Why several? 2. Is it stimulant or non-stimulant? 3. Did it actually help you? (I have seen family members get worse because of medication but that was something antipsychotic)
>>8688884 It took a while to find the right one for me dosage wise, some were too strong and some did absolutely nothing to me
It is indeed a stimulant in adults, but in kids, it settles them down
I see a drastic change when I take it. I can focus a million times better and I'm not moody or irritable. I lost weight drastically after I started on it, and haven't been able to gain weight since.
I recently stopped taking it in order to gain some weight, and I gained about 10 lbs in a few months. I have been taking it for about 10 years now and don't know how I could live without it to be completely honest. I rely on it so much
>On 7th month of Accutane treatment, derm has lowered my dose to ween my off >Feeling way better about my skin than I have in over a year >Mom always ruins this by making shitty comments about my skin or looks >"I wish your derm had kept you on the 80mg your skin just looks so awful" >"Anon, your hair is horrible why is it so long, you need to get it cut" >"*sigh* It's just unfortunate you have such a big nose, your sister has such a nice one." >Instantly feel like shit and depression gets worse >Scoffs at the thought that I could be depressed. "What do you have to be anxious about, anon? You don't do anything or have any friends."
Like...I'm trying so hard to get my life back together, but every time I build myself up she always manages to say something and it makes me hate myself even more. I've tried talking to her about it all throughout being a teenager and as an adult, but you canot disagree with her or argue or she loses her shit. She's so controling and polices how me and my sister look. She's obsessed with us having a certain length of hair, which is why I've grown mine out. It's pretty much the only thing I can do to "rebel" even though I'm long past having that teenage rebelion phase. I feel so guilty because my parents have been good to me, but I'm starting to guess that a lot of my underlying issues regarding my selfworth have to do with all these digs she makes at my looks on a daily basis... Is it wrong that I was happiest when I was away at college? That was the first time I could choose what I wore for myself and what clothes I could buy, and I had never been allowed to just hang out with friends whenever I wanted before. Coming home feels like I stepped back in time to high school, and it's just so unsettling to realize how unhappy I was before college. I'm sorry for ranting, I just don't know how to feel.
>>8689029 >Is it wrong that I was happiest when I was away at college?
i am heartbroken that you would even ask this.
your mother is toxic. you will begin to recover when you are away from her and can safely acknowledge all the ways she has worked to sabotage you for her narcissistic needs. save whatever money you can for your eventual escape and see if you have access to nearby counseling in the meantime.
she has had all your life to learn how to nurture your growth as a person, but instead chooses to push you down and spit bile into your mouth. you get to detox when you are at college, but as long as she is near you she will be throwing toxicity into your system. a lifetime of that compromises your mental immune system, metaphorically speaking, but also wreaks havoc on your physiology. so put your energy into building boundaries for yourself while you plot your escape.
>>8689029 Your mom sounds like a typical narcissist, anon. Unfortunately, it's often completely impossible to reach through to people like that, because they're basically incapable of ever thinking they might be in the wrong. Focus on moving out as soon as possible, you'll feel so much better when she's out of your life and you don't have to depend on her or see her when you don't want to. Also remember that you don't have to keep toxic people like that in your life, even if they're a close family member. Don't be afraid to cut them out if you'll feel better. Society tells you that you can never do that to your parents, but fuck that, if they're horrible narcissist you don't need that in your life. Check out the subreddit /r/raisedbynarcissists if you need to vent or talk to people in similar situations. I wish you all the best, remember that it does get better when you've moved out. Take care.
>>8689029 dump your mother pack up everything and leave live out of your car or crash on a couch if you have to get the fuck away from her NOW and if she asks why tell her to her face that she insults you and makes you feel like shit
>graduated in June with a masters >applying for jobs in my profession >get rejection emails a couple of days later after applying >ask them why >tell me the resume and cover letter match what they're looking for, but moving forward with different candidates >see my cohorts' statuses getting jobs and enjoy upward mobility >get in touch with my endorsements to see what is up >"Well Anon, you've alienated your profession in the past. It'll be next to impossible to get a job in this profession with your shyness and social awkwardness. Try another profession." >"Ok..." >mfw I haven't thought of a second option >mfw I don't have a job, I don't have money coming in, thus I don't want to spend my money on lolita
I feel like Hooper Humperdink right now. Still unemployed. I don't want to celebrate the holidays and instead travel to Japan for Christmas/New Year's and spend money on lolita. I know it's contradictory, but I want be pretty. The worst is that none of my friends are going to Japan for the holidays and I'm alone like a homeless guy at Yogoyi Park.
>>8689029 >I feel so guilty because my parents have been good to me, but I'm starting to guess that a lot of my underlying issues regarding my selfworth have to do with all these digs she makes at my looks on a daily basis...
I feel you so much, gull. I'm working a lot in my selfsteem (lolita/jfashion and losing weight helped me a lot), but I'm still living with them, and god, sometimes they put me back in my 15.
>but anon, that's not FASHIONABLE (luckyly I'm feeling good now and I can't remember other things they said, kek)
Be strong, it's a huge step that you're figuring it, just be yourself, you're an adult now, and she has no right to interfere in your life choices.
>>8689043 no offence but you know nothing about her aside from that one post. stop internet diagnosing people, it's fucking annoying. 'narcissist' and 'sociopath' seem to be popular buzzwords nowadays and people are so quick to jump to conclusions. Controlling does not necessarily imply narcissistic.
Thank you, I'm going to check out that subreddit. I didn't realize this was a thing? Like, I just assumed I was nitpicking what my mother says to me. I don't understand why I"m so unhappy with my life and myself when all of my friends always seem so confident and able to just do things. Just buying things for myself because I like how I look in it felt like a huge step for me, while my friends all have styles and looks that fit their personalities. I'm so scared to take the steps needed to start a career even though I've planned out what needs to be done. I just don't feel like I'm good enough or deserve to be happy. I don't understand why my mom has to constantly comment on my skin and such. I just want my family to be happy and I really miss my school friends, but I've been home for so long and I just feel so isolated from everyone. I miss college, but it feels like everyone's moved on without me.
>>8689074 When I studied for my masters, I kept to myself and to be left alone most of the time. I also acted rather rudely when I professionally networked with people. I can't change my social trait of being a catty bitch; that's who I am. Being a lolita has made me an even worse of a catty bitch.
tl;dr I've been told to GTFO out of the profession.
>>8689090 It doesn't necessarily have to mean that your mother is narcissistic (because lbr, she probably isn't), just controlling. Think overzealous cultist parenting. However, that's still not a good thing and I do agree that you should move away ASAP.
I've got a similar problem, my mom has always been controlling my life. When I finally moved away I was so scared because I had to think for myself without anyone to rely on. At first I went into sensory overload, I was hyper-aware of every little flaw and even if my friend told me I had a crumb on my cheek I'd panic and feel ashamed. I always wondered what others thought of me and then asked myself why I had no friends - there must've been something wrong with me, right? Turns out there was, I was so self-conscious that I started restraining myself socially, which made people think I'm trying to avoid them and don't want to talk to them.
Eventually you'll get sick of living in fear and realize you can't please everyone, and if you're living for others, well, that's not a good way to live. Really look around: most people you know probably have something wrong with their hair/mannerisms/habits that you notice but don't really care about because your overall image of them is positive. Your friends have styles that fit their personalities probably because they don't care about trying to appear fashionable and only/mostly wear the stuff they like.
Someone somewhere is gonna talk shit about you. I guarantee it. No point trying to explain yourself and strain yourself to please them. Remember that people don't know everything and that most things they say is largely their personal opinion rather than cold hard facts.
It's okay not to be happy with yourself every once in a while, but only as long as you accept yourself for who you are. If you try to be someone you're not, you're not gonna enjoy whom you end up with.
I suggest staying away from that subreddit, because it's been suggested to me before as well and all it is is a cesspit of whiners and complainers ranting about their family drama, which I don't think you need right more of right now. Instead try to immerse yourself in a book or some costume drama, browse pinterest, do a couple of fun color theory quizzes. If there's a subreddit you should visit it would probably be skincareaddiction, but don't go full nutcase and completely avoid the sun like they do.
Lastly, know this: It's gonna take a while for things to change for the better. Surround yourself with positive people. Get away from 4chan. Go bowling or something. Talk to someone.
I'm still struggling with similar things myself, but it's exponentially better compared to 3 years ago when I was at my lowest.
>Desperately hunting for dream dress after I went full retard on an auction >Only one sale, scalped price >Other colourways everywhere, but super unappealing >Tumblr tag as a last resort to see if anyone's selling >Ita coords everywhere >Mfw
>purchase something from someone >PM them a few days later about shipping >It's been several days, it says that they've seen it but still haven't answered They have great feedback and everything. Should I just keep waiting?
>>8689115 >>8689122 Thank you, I skimmed through the reddit and it doesn't really sound like my mom. She's not purposefully mean or spiteful, she is just very controlling and kind of emotionally absent. I know she loves me, but it's just how she is but sometimes it gets overwhelming. I don't think she'd ever do anything out of spite, she just says things without thinking.
I'm so sorry about what you went through, I don't want anyone to have to feel like I do. I'm really glad you're doing better! I'm going to try and be more like you, and be more courageous about things. It's just very hard to get back in the swing of things since I've been checked out for so long. I had a friend send me some episodes of some show called "Miraculous Ladybug" the other day, and it looks cute so I think I'll take your advice and just spend the rest of my night watching that.
>>8689092 >I can't change my social trait of being a catty bitch That's completely, 100% BS and you know it. It's easier to say "hurr BUT THAT'S THE WAY I AM" than to actually change, even superficially.
>watching friend's prop progress >uses expanding foam to fill in cracks >looks great >covers the whole thing in plastidip without shaving foam down >think "oh boy, that'll make the foam hard to cut, he didn't think this through" >think it's weird he doesn't mention the error >announces the prop's ready for the con >he never fucking shaved the foam down >bubbly nightmare mess ruining an otherwise pretty good prop
I don't understand. I just don't. Why? Why the hell would they do this?
>tfw want to ask, but will be inevitably treated like an asshole if I do
>go to work >go to school >take care of kids >help out disabled husband >take care of nephew, sister is single mum >make Halloween costume for one kid, wants to be Chica from FNAF so there's nothing storebought available, but she's loving my progress so far >trying to take care of my managerial responsibilities at work as well, small business and I'm head chef so I'm trying to work on some artistic Halloween specials (basic Halloween specials I've already set up) >house is a mess and I'm trying to get it organized before Halloween >costumes are mandatory at work this week, having a lot of stupid issues popping up with mine >really bad Lupus flareup made me be out of class for about 2.5 weeks, have been trying to get everything made up >got regular sick right after that >missed class due to husband's disability lawsuit mediation >try to be everything for everyone all the time, nobody seems to give a fuck about my struggles I called out of work today even though I've screwed over 3+ people in the process because the pressure has gotten to be too much. I gave in and drank a lot. I'm an embarrassment. I need to maintain a 3.6+ GPA to end up where I want, and I have that stupid B last semester from when my cousin overdosed and died and it messed me up for awhile, and now I'm worried I'll get more non-As on my GPA and I can't afford it with how I screwed up my first attempt at college because of my depression. I HAVE to keep it together, but I just can't seem to. I shouldn't have called out of work, especially since my lupus makes anything other than part time work impossible for me and I have to provide for my family, but I can't. I've been drinking whiskey straight from the bottle and I took one of my leftover percocets from my most recent hospital visit that I still need to pay the bill for. So much to do. I have to keep it together.
>>8689092 Unless you think you're ruled by emotions as opposed to logic, you can suppress your "catty bitch" social trait. You may not be able to change it, but if you can complete a master's degree you should be smart enough to figure out how you're supposed to act even if it feels unnatural to you.
>>8686465 Hope you see this. If you haven't already, look into Glaxo Smith Kline's bridges to access program (bridgestoaccess.com). I used it for years in school to get my Lamictal. They provide the Lamictal for free and pay for shipping from a pharmacy so you don't even need transportation to pick it up. I think you need a social worker to enroll you but you don't need an actual case worker, if you have a community center nearby they sometimes have social workers stop by.
>>8689243 It makes me so sad to see people struggling to be healthy because things are too expensive and they can't get help. The entire healthcare/prescription drug system is a complete horrifying joke. I hate going to the doctor for this reason; it's basically impossible to get any kind of medication anymore without paying $100s-$1000s. I'm skipping a medication myself because a script costs over $1000/mo. It's ridiculous.
I looked into that Obamacare site and that was a joke, unfortunately, too. The most minimal coverage costs 3x what I pay now, and that's after work doubled our healthcare premiums. I'm about to get my hours cut because work is lowering the minimum hours required for health insurance. So I can't afford rent on top of all of this, lol. What happened? I thought healthcare was supposed to be "more affordable/accessible"? Sucks to be poor, I guess.
>>8689092 You will never find a job other than working in fast food or customer service then with that attitude and refuse to change.
You need to learn to change your attitude when it's important for you to do so. Networking, interviewing, anything involving jobs and work, yeah you need to put on an act. Many people have a work them, then a non-work them. It's not that hard to control yourself and what you say/do when you need to.
>person I hate for various reason posts on social media >"Can't wait for my lolita dress to arrive~!" >Know she can't dress for shit normally >Excited to see what her "lolita" consists of so I can rip the piss out of her and laugh with lolita friends about it
I am an awful person, but it's hilarious to see her hop onto trends and get butthurt when she gets called out.
>stressful day at work >basically I'm left picking up someone else's slack >and my boss is in a crabby mood >making phone calls until about 8 pm >finally wrap things up but I feel like shit >go home, eat dinner, take a shower >break out the dr. pepper and swedish fish >put on headphones, play some music >drawing whatever the fuck I feel like >browsing 4chan at intervals >wow this is like high school >this shit still cheers me up
>>8689282 To be fair there are a ton of standard meds that are <$10 at pretty much all pharmacies with or without insurance. Unfortunately GSK still has exclusivity on lamictal until 2018 so no cheap generics.
>>8688899 To add to this, make sure they follow the addage of 'start low, go slow.' You want to be on the lowest dose and gradually have them increase if it doesn't work.
I used to take Strattera as I can't be on a stimulant in the job I have. They started me out at 80mg and it suppressed my appetite so badly that I was physically unable to eat. Also- constant goosebumps. Constant.
>>8689201 Uh, no offense but you should have had your kid make their own costume. It would have been easier for you and a learning experience for her. If she's old enough to play FNAF she's old enough to make her own costume.
>be in texas >have entire halloween coord ready >first halloween coord, so excited >excited to go to a halloween fair event on the 25th with my SO >jk storms from the hurricane come and the event is canceled and not rescheduled >"..o-oh...okay...at least there's another event on the 30th, and i still have halloween day" >look at weather >60% chance of rain both days >mfw
goddamnit, halloween is my favorite holiday, and this is the first year i've ever wanted to go to an actual event, especially with my SO, and it just gets fucked in the ass
>Moved back to Japan to teach English because I loved it here when I worked here 3 years ago >Last time I was here had a great social group, used to travel to Tokyo once or twice a month, enjoyed dressing up, parties, the works >Placed in some shitty rural town in the arse end of nowhere >Am the only teacher in my entire city, with one elderly Japanese lady as the administrative staff >Not allowed to join any social clubs/gyms because I have tattoos >Absolutely no social contact or support of any form outside of work
Been here nearly 2 months now, already missing home massively. Think I'll try and make it until 6 months so that I can leave without any penalties, and head back home.
I was hoping to head to Tokyo to dress up for halloween, but I've been told I need to work, and work late having a "party/lesson" with 15 children therefore no time to do anything after work also.
>mentally ill >drops out of school because of it >since i left early i cant drive either >very shy,little to no social life.cant network. >cant even get entry level job >cant get GED they switched to CC standards and i dont know that shit.got math and science hanging over my head. >places never call me back, they dont want me, or they tell me to "go online" (bs) guess im too shy for them, is it my weird name? im pretty sure its not cause im black, black ppl get jobs all the time. is it because..? well no, im not fat anymore so idk. mfw i have no job no car, cant afford anything im a looser. idk why my fiance loves me. he is so successful.... do you gulls think i should change my name on apps? is it legal to do so?
>>8689389 No, that's not legal. Are there any sort of night courses or online tutoring you can take that will help you study to get your GED? Because honestly, no one will hire you over highschool age without one.
> Best friend suffered from BPD and got into a huge benzo addiction > He used to cut and attempted suicide multiple times > I live oceans away but we always kept in touch for comfort and support > He died last week and I found out through a family member > Other friends are telling me "You're 26, stop crying. Everybody dies at some point." > Get told that I deserve no comfort for my grief because I was too busy to write a sympathy comment on FB when someone's relative died (and the post got shadowed by other things) > I hate that these people throw love and support when people break up a relationship but I get absolutely nothing when someone really close to me dies
>ride the bus every day to work >started working there about two weeks ago >work place is right by an elementary school >bus is filled with kids >usually loud and hectic but I don't really mind >girl comes up to me one day and sits with me >tells me how her name is Tamera and how she's nine and talks to me about what ever nine year olds talk about >becomes friends with her >she cries one day after another kid sat next to me >I draw her pictures every once in a while of whatever she wants (my little pony, turtles, lady gaga, etc) >time goes on and we get to know each other more >one day she gives me a letter with a drawing in it >she explains how hard she had worked on it, even though it just looks like little kid doodles >time progresses to earlier this week >asks her what she's doing for halloween >says shes not doing anything because her parents can't buy her a costume >realized that she has been wearing the same clothes on friday when it's monday now >her jacket is covered in dirt stains and her face is slightly dirty >never realized it until now >rushes today to walmart to pick her up a princess costume >not sure if this is an okay thing to do or not
Not entirely cgl related but I really needed to get that off my chest. The costume was around 15$ and is like pic related. I don't know if this is an okay thing to do or if that makes me come off as creepy. I just want her to have a good Halloween and not feel like she's different from the other kids. She also wanted to be Elsa but they were all out of Elsa in her size so I got her Cinderella instead. Really hoping she's ok with that.
>>8688879 I'm sorry I should have specified. In your situation I honestly would have been too stunned to react much TBH it's just so fucked and? Petty? I guess that I don't even know what to say. Make sure to tell anyone who asks about them how much of an asshole they all are though.
>>8688670 It sounds so easy and harder to do in reality, but as the anon with the ex stalker, ignoring them is your best option. And if they try anything don't hesitate to go to security or a con vollie to help out. I was lucky to have a friend working at a stall and threaten the cops being called on them when they went to her to report on me "being a bitch" by ignoring them.
>>8689214 >>8689215 >>8689227 Thanks. I've gotten extensions from my professors, but I feel like I'm taking longer than I should (one gave me an open-ended extension and another gave me another week and then I was sick and missed that class so I'm not sure how that's going to play out, I'm up to date in the rest of my classes) and there's a lot of pressure there. >>8689370 We did the first parts together while I gave her a rundown of how things work. She's handling the embroidery, but I can't let her wear a costume that could fall apart like many of babby's first costumes do and there's no way she could grasp drafting a pattern by herself yet, so there are certain parts she shouldn't handle. I'm wary of letting projects out of my hands because last time I got help on something I was doing because I was trying to teach someone (my husband) they couldn't even cut the strips for the ruffles even remotely evenly.
>>8685139 Something that lots of people were interested in but kept flaking on. Probably has something to do with that fact that it's not super rare, just popular/coveted.
>>8685145 I got rid of it finally, at way below the value it goes for on the Western market but eh.
Update on the asshole eBay buyer: They finally shut the dispute but left me negative feedback saying that I took a long time to ship and have no communication. Bitch, I took 5 days and I replied to all your messages. I wish I could leave negative feedback for buyers, it's rubbish that you can't.
>get JSK I've been wanting for a while >try it on >have to struggle to zip it up >what >double check measurements on lolibrary >Bust: 88~98 cm (34.65~38.58in) >Waist: 66~75cm (25.98~29.53in) >double check my measurements >B: 90cm including blouse >W: 69cm including blouse >?????
What the fuck? This is the second time this has happened to me, too. I SHOULD be within the measurements - well within them, even - but I'm terrified of popping the zipper getting it up.
>>8689626 It could be the waist gathering, I've had the same thing happen to me (especially with invisible zippers) and I've either needed help, or to take my arms out (of a jsk), turn it around the front and zip it past the gather, then put it back on properly and zip the rest.
>>8689775 >>8689775 Don't bother with them, they're not worth your time. I'm sure some of them will stop being mindless SJW by themselves with a bit more of personal experience or thanks to people explaining them why and how they're wrong most of the time. If anything you'll be even more pissed off after talking to one of them.
>Bf is really supportive of lolita. >I mention that I'm looking for a really specific pair of lace-topped otks. >He keeps linking me to really bad ebay cosplay socks. >Really sweet of him that he's trying but if I can't find them he probably can't
>tfw friend is obviously upset >try to encourage them to talk and not bottle things up >they express their feelings then go on to say its not a big deal >try to create a solution for them to feel better >they reject any solutions offered
>be lone lolita >best friend loves the aesthetic, but has no money for it >both be petite Asian girls with nearly the same measurements >both into gothic >lend her clothes, be kawaii together >play horror games together decked in gothic
>>8690232 I've been there a lot too but I've learned: A lot of the time, they just want to talk about it then tough it out. Don't take it personally, in fact, I wouldn't even offer advice unless they ask. Just let them know that you'll always be there for them.
>>8689459 First guy who replied to the person who freaked out, then to you. That's sort of what I was getting at. I guess I laid it on pretty thick, but my point was that I'm getting really tired of this victim/martyr culture that is developing, especially as it concerns mental issues.
So many people are saying "oh, I have PTSD", or "oh, I have ADHD" or "oh, I have Asbergers" or "oh, I hate how I look, it must be gender dysphoria", and then assuming that because they can give their problems a name, /they don't have to change their problems/
It's quickly becoming the norm for people to never face their fears, their concerns, their worries. It's now the case that trying to convince people to do so labels you as insensitive to their "plight". In our quest to become understanding, we've instead become complacent and enabling.
I don't want to hear "I can't change because I have PTSD/OCD/ADHD/asbergers/am depressed/am trans (listed because while it's an accepted lifestyle, a lot of younger people assume that generalized self-hatred or poor body image means they must actually be the other gender, that explains everything)"
If there is something about you you don't like, you can change it. I don't want to hear "I can't" change. " You can, it's just hard. Everything worth doing is worth working hard for.
Your mind has impossible amounts of control over itself and your body. If a Tibetan Monk can overcome and keep composure through literally BURNING ALIVE, you can overcome any problem that faces you.
>>8690267 This. 99% of the time when I need to vent I already know what the solution is, how to fix it, or what I should do, I just need to talk about the problem to be able to deal with it. If they straight-up ask for advice then ignore it, fair enough. But 99% of the time all they want is to be listened to. There's an episode of Parks & Rec that explains this perfectly.
>>8690322 >I'm getting really tired of this victim/martyr culture that is developing >So many people are saying >It's quickly becoming the norm for people to never face their fears, their concerns, their worries. It's now the case
go to bed, grandpa. if you think people haven't been inventing reasons to stay insulated and unmotivated since the dawn of culture, you need a reality check.
>>8690206 Thing is this: From a completely rational standpoint and without wanting to sound arrogant our costumes really are great. They better be - concerning all the work and money we put in them and we are not that horrible to look at either.
So I really do not need the approval of some cosplayfamous chick and neither did the other two. I just regret not having replied "Bitch I know" but tbh I was completely stunned by this shit and just left like the beta I am
>>8690267 >>8690331 I definitely told her it never hurts to tell your friends how you feel (especially when its someone who she knows will listen to her) and she continued to tough it out saying she didnt want to make it a big deal so I just let her. Thanks for the advice/input though anons
>>8689767 >>8689740 >>8689471 >>8689473 >>8689456 >>8689447 Wow, I really didn't expect all this positive input- thank you. I gave it to her and she ended up crying and she hugged me. She tried to hide the fact that she was crying but I could tell. She told me I'm her new best friend now lol. She said that her parents would get mad that someone gave her something but I'm hoping they won't be (or atleast take it out on her).
>>8690378 OH anon, please keep us updated on what she says tomorrow, like how her parents reacted. You are so sweet, like, holy shit I want to cry from this story. This girl sounds adorable and deserves the world.
>tfw you wanna be a lifestyler >tfw you just can't get into any sewing or shit >tfw you're bad at it anyway >tfw you want to be a good person >tfw even when you try to be nice you're voice is so scary, no one cares what you're saying >tfw you go to a comm meeting and you have to just sit there quietly so you don't make everyone miserable >tfw you give up on comms and friends and fuck off to the garage to be drunk and alone forever lmao I hate myself.
>In bar celebrating older sister's bday >Parents begin to rag on her, ask her if she's dating anyone yet (she's been in at least 20 weddings in the last two years) >She always avoids the question and denies >Dad and brother ask her if she is a lesbian. Tell her it's ok if she is, they just want her to find someone. >Brother asks if her mystery bf is asian or black. We all spend the rest of the night calling her mystery lover "Tadashi" >Sister loses her shit in bar, begins this long rant about how offensive it is to talk about lesbians that way and how she works with lesbians and you can't say things like that in this day and age. >Parents and brother stare at me >I start laughing >All of my friends are lesbians or gay. I am srsly the only straight one in my friend group. I honestly think I'm ace, but w/e.
Dang she got so mad. Like yeah, we're assholes but that's what your family does, rag on your about stupid shit.
>>8690390 I don't mean this to sound disparaging, but why do you want to be a "lifestyler" if you don't like any of things associated with lolita lifestyle? Why don't you just enough dressing up in your frills?
You're not the first person here who seems to want to force themselves to like the lifestyle and I just don't understand it. If you're into sweet and you want to bake pastries and have tea parties and stuff, awesome! But why force yourself to do something you don't like?
>>8690401 I jut feel like I'm a fucking loser for like stupid shit. Everyone else in the comm was into cooking, reading, museums, just nice shit that nice girls should like. And I'm fucking sitting there like "Haha yeah, I got in a fist fight in a Taco Bell parking lot the other night." I just don't have anything in common with anyone, so I don't have any friends and it's fucking high school all over again.
>>8690394 Your family sounds shit tbh. If she's that mad, you all probably took it too far. Family's joke around, but there's limits to everyone's patience. I'm sure if you were the one being ragged on all night, you might not have appreciated the laughter.
>be new to nyc >join fb groups for ny lolitas >actual nyc comm is private >cant get to go to any good meets bc you need to know someone >accept invites from itas to do stuff cause its that or be a lone lolita >someone in the comm pls adopt me
>>8690440 >>8690445 i do not understand the private comm thing (i thought it was explained up thread that there is no such "true" hidden comm, just side comms off of New York Lolitas). but perhaps it may be time for another NYC seagull meet soon? we spoke of doing the cat cafe at the last meetup. i would still be interested in that.
>>8690322 Okay but isn't me informing my doctors of existing medical issues the exact opposite of "whining and doing nothing about it"? It sounds like you are pissed off at someone else and decided to try and take it out on me.
>>8690463 >there is no such "true" hidden comm, just side comms off of New York Lolitas What makes me salty is that they say that they're "a group of friends that hung out for years" but they still try to rope in the best looking noobs for their "exclusive friend" tea parties.
>>8690463 yeah, i understand there's no true private comm. New York Lolitas is so big that it's hard for new people to find a core group of people to attend the smaller meets hosted via private fb events, etc. That's what I meant by actual NYC comm is private. i'd be interested in a seagull meetup. im [>be new to nyc] anon. like i said, i've only gone to the big picnic earlier this fall as far as New York Lolitas meetups go. the girl who runs NYC Victorian Ladies was apparently kicked out of the New York Lolitas comm? She gave me a whole spiel about it, how everyone calls her group the ita group, but didn't give any specifics. I'm a member of both groups because i need friends tbh.
>>8690480 i am only a member of the main public group, but i made friends at RuffleCon who are members of both. i have no clue which comm or side comm is represented when they invite me to events! RC was my "in" and in just a couple weeks i have been included in smaller, private meetup invitations. but i knew none of them before that weekend, so i can assure you and other anons that there are people who accept total unconnected noobs and invite them to interesting events.
so i propose another seagull meet for sure. even if it is just us newer folk. if we get along with each other enough we can extend invites to whatever cool event we are invited to where +1s are allowed, to help each other break past the "all meets are private meets" barrier.
Hate the feeling when old friends are becoming less friendly. I have a friend I've known since grade school who does crazy stuff, she's a bad influence but I love her. Recently we've been drifting apart and I feel like shit. We both work crazy hours and barely have time for each other. Also I've been socialising with new friends and she looks down on what I do, often getting irrationally angry over minor things, like me getting drunk, when she does/has done much worse. Feels bad, gulls.
>Best friend is a lolita but she hasn't bought anything for well over a year due to budget constraints. >"I think I want to start saving for my dream piece, will you show me how lacemarket works?" >Walk her through it. >She wants an indie piece, in a cut and a colourway that rarely pops up. >"I think I should have it by early next year in time for ____con!"
I know the feeling of wanting a dream dress but I don't know how to break it to her it hasn't been on the secondhand market in well over a year and a half in her colourway.
We have a pretty bitchy person at work who is always putting down other people and their hard work even if she herself isn't doing so hot. It caused a lot of stupid high school esque drama and quite frankly, we don't need it in such a high stress situation. It does a lot to really stymie the flow of information that's integral to our work and creates a lot of discord that could very well be threatening. So I know first hand what a bitchy person does to our team. If I was the coordinator of our team and I learned that a candidate is super bitchy and antisocial, I would not want them.
I'll be the first to admit I'm a huge cunt, but I keep it out of work and leave it to vent anonymously on /cgl/
I feel like despite my best efforts, nobody is ever proud of me. Nobody cares. Like its so disheartening that people always assume the worst of each other and nobody is inspired by each other. Like its beneath them or something. Idk
>>8690394 Your sister could be insecure about being single or potentially terrified of coming out if she is gay, maybe it could fuck up her school/work life or a friendship. Going out on someone's birthday and ripping the shit out of them for being single isn't a family joking around, that's just being goddamn shitty. Then she gets upset because you're ragging on her on her birthday and you laugh at her because you have some gay friends? You sound like such a wonderful sister.
>Mexican >Dad's family is on lighter side of spectrum. >Never really interact with them, dunno why >Mum's family is much darker >always surrounded by them >They always say I have to go out. Tan more. That I don't look like a real woman. I look sickly. >22 years of living with these remarks
>>8690636 yeah, that is unfortunately beyond the range of japanese brands. have you mastered the art of taobao? you may be able to get custom-sized items from an indie brand. otherwise offbrand or commissions will be the way to go.
men's gothic clothing has become difficult to find or i would suggest looking into non-jfash alt stores. it is overall an awkward time for Western gothic guys.
>>8688549 I had a similar situation where my cosplay buddy and I were supposed to be going halves on a camera (Sale £200) I paid on my card and she had no cash on her. Months passed and she never gave me the money and I felt awful for keep asking. In the end I said she could keep the money as her birthday + christmas gift. I just wanted it to be over.
>anxiety so bad i can't sleep anymore >stay up most nights doing nothing but stressing out hardcore about everything in my life >after 40-50 hours of no sleep, suddenly crash for 12 hours no matter where i am/what i'm doing >cycle starts over again >had insomnia all my life, but this is something different >joints hurt, muscles hurt, can't focus on anything but stress, legs giving out on me when i walk >debilitating paranoia, hearing voices, throwing up between classes, depressed and feeling like a failure, start missing school even though i try to force myself to be productive >tell professors i'm just feeling under the weather, they tell me they know i'm trying but i can't miss anymore class >parents, friends can tell i'm not doing so hot >still don't tell anyone there's something wrong or see a doctor >pretending there isn't anything wrong with me because i'd rather suffer in silence than let anyone know i need help
sorry to let that out, /cgl/. i realize that i could help myself by seeing a doctor or a therapist and maybe getting a note to help explain to my professors what i'm going through, but i just don't want to be seen as someone who is giving excuses for anything, even though i'm really suffering. i have a really hard time confiding in others, and also admitting i need help and doing something about it. i'm sorry to sound like a whiny little bitch.
to make it /cgl/ related:
>drained cherry is on sale at the AP USA shop >really want to get it, but i have no clue how to coordinate red and yellow without looking like ronald mcdonald
>>8690668 Stop trying to be a tough shit and let people know what's going on. I am so fucking mad at you right now because I wasted years of my life doing that, with the same stupid excuses you're using (i.e. NONE)
>>8690668 Just do it, Anon. From someone with similar issues who just wanted to blame it on other factors for awhile, just do it. It'll be hard, but you'll feel so much better. Just picture us anons pushing you forward when you feel like you're going to stop and get yourself help.
>>8690670 i'm sorry you're mad at me, anon. i'm trying to not live my life in excuses? like 'oh i'm anxious so i can't do thi/ect.,' like, i don't want to be an excuse. i want to be fucking normal. and i feel like i can't accept help because i don't want to admit there's something wrong. anyway, i'm sorry because you just sound like you wanna strangle me or something right now.
>>8690688 thank you. maybe i will? i don't know. whenever i went to doctors for my insomnia before, they just told me that i needed to 'eat more' and sent me away. so i'm kind of wary of wasting my time as well.
>>8690707 In my experience, a lot of doctors recognize the link between mental issues like anxiety and insomnia. They may not be taking you serious if you just say you're suffering from insomnia. It sounds like it's a symptom of your anxiety anyway, so you need to get your anxiety treated.
>>8690614 I'm sorry. For some reason I've just felt numb for a while now, but I used to take lots of joy and pride out of creating things and sharing them with others and these days it feels like I'm just being stepped on so someone else can elevate themselves instead. I really try to be a good person and...?
>>8690719 haha, no red wig, check. i'm not sure if i'm adventurous enough for the green, but i will absolutely take that into consideration. i don't really want to deck myself out in all redxyellow, but i'm not sure what color to use to break it up-- white? pink? green?
>>8690738 sometimes, you have to create just for yourself. you have to create because your soul begs you to do it, you know? try to be proud of yourself. if you seek acceptance from other people, and not from within yourself, you will always be unfortunately disappointed. i believe in you, anon! keep going, keep pursuing, keep creating, no matter how disheartened and disillusioned you may feel. art will always understand you.
>>8690762 Well I guess it's less that I'm expecting people to care, and more that I'm ending up around people who want you to pay their back but won't pat yours. That's what hurts the most. I've been going strong for years on my own but after a while it just gets to you.
>>8690031 Similar feel: my bf and I have been thinking about going to California, so he made outfit collages of what he'd want us to wear at disneyland. I directed him to lolibrary to find things and pic related was one of the outfits. >omg anon-chan, I found the perfect dress for you! Let's try to find it on auction! I can't believe we've been dating for longer than I've been wearing lolita. Bless his soul.
>>8686492 >hurr durr if you get drunk you deserve it lol are you implying you don't? try getting drunk and then getting into a car accident. see if that "logic" still holds up in court >Yes your honor I know that I willingly consumed enough alcohol to get drunk, then drove a car and ran into 4 children killing one and seriously injuring 3 others, but I shouldn't be held responsible for my own actions if I get drunk! If anything it's those kids that should be on trial right now! They should have been responsible enough to know I was drunk and avoided me, and they should have to pay for the dents they left in my car too!
I've been taking better care of myself and trying to lose weight and tone up. And I know it's really dumb, but i want to take advantage of how i look now to cosplay things i won't be able to in the future. So for halloween i decided to be a spitter from left 4 dead 2. I'm actually excited? I got some shit from friends, saying i shouldn't wear things like that because it's gross but that's sorta the point. My flabby stomach and saggy tits are to my advantage for the first and only time. I just have to finish making the acid and i'll be ready for saturday. Fingers crossed this all goes well.
>Been with boyfriend for almost three years. >Taking the pill the entire time. >Have never missed a single pill. >Missed one two weeks ago. >Period is three days late with zero normal symptoms/spotting. >Fuck.
I can get a chemical abortion (The two pills) for virtually free right now - But I would need my boyfriend to drive me to and from the clinic and keep everything hidden from my family.
We've spoken about it before. We both agree that I sure as shit don't want a kid for another 9 years; I'm basically right on the poverty level right now as I'm starting my own business. He'd probably be happy to pay for it, if it were necessary. We both agree that it's a cluster of cells - It wouldn't be any more drastic than going to have a mole removed.
But I still don't know how it would affect our relationship.
I'm not scared or worried about doing it at all, I'm just worried that when the scenario becomes real, his beliefs/thoughts will change and it'll fuck him up.
I can order some pure ascorbic acid powder and do that routine for a week - But I'm dead broke and won't be able to afford the $15 until Tuesday, which will be EXACTLY 3 weeks and by then the chances aren't as high.
>>8691260 Oh, right. On the note of ascorbic acid - I'm thinking that I will order it anyway and if it doesn't work, I'll just have to suck it up for go to the clinic. It's guaranteed to work up at 9 weeks, and by that point I'd be at 4-5.
>>8690751 >>8690707 >i'm trying to not live my life in excuses? like 'oh i'm anxious so i can't do thi/ect.,' like, i don't want to be an excuse. i want to be fucking normal. and i feel like i can't accept help because i don't want to admit there's something wrong >trying to be normal >won't admit there's something wrong nayrt, but holy hell you're starting to piss me off now. Get off your high horse and get help, it's the only way things will get better. You're not normal, you will never BE normal if you keep this up, and you'll more than likely fall onto the train tracks in front of a train and get yourself killed if you don't get your insomnia checked out. Mental illness won't just magically go away if you ignore it for long enough, it just keeps getting worse and worse until you're in the looney bin. Think of how your parents would feel if they find out what you've been hiding this from them because you're too stupid to get help. If they were my parents, they'd be devastated because, y'know, they'd want what's best for you, and for you to be happy.
>>8691328 Not on my pill - my periods have been total clockwork for 3 years and the fact that this is the first time I ever missed a pill makes it too coincidental.. Obviously I'll grab a test first. Can't do anything until I get paid on Tuesday. They're like $30 a pop in Australia though. Sucks.
>>8690465 This. Not dealing with it/hiding behind an excuse would be never going to the doctor's when you'd need a shot/etc. If getting shots actually traumatizes you, forcing yourself to get it done isn't going to help you any, that's not how exposure therapy works. You (assuming you were knocked-out-shots-anon) getting shots post knock-out or laughing gas is absolutely appropriate until you've reached a point in exposure therapy to handle them straight with tolerable discomfort.
>>8690668 Please listen to all the anons trying to help. I was literally in your exact same situation at university. I put it off for so long my GPA went from a 3.9 to below a 2.0. The dean of my college dismissed me from school and wouldn't let me back til I'd gotten help. I did make it back to school but I had so many 0.0s (and had used all my repeats) I was only able to graduate with a 2.0 -not good enough to get into grad school. I would have had to take something like 400 credit hours to raise my GPA back to what it was. I literally ruined my life because I didn't get help sooner. Like you, it started with crazy insomnia then vomiting before classes etc, like literally I feel like I'm reading myself. When I finally took action there were so many great resources available but it was just too late to pull myself out of my self-created hole. Please please get the help you need (I know its hard but be completely honest and forthcoming with your docs) before you do irreparable damage to your future.
>>8691446 Yep. My PTSD is mostly manageable now, I work a job alone full time and I'm so happy I've gotten to this point by working hard. Not hiding from my issues. Ftr,I've have two cavities and a laparoscopy where I needed to be knocked out, and another procedure where I didn't because it was less interference. My Drs knew what was up and nothing went wrong because of it.
>>8692541 Seagulls are so fucking stupid that they have selective reading and hate anything and everything that isn't nihilistic self-absorbed garbage. Just label it tumblr and they're right apparently. Ironic that the one with mental illness was less upset right? Anyway, this has nothing to do with original anons problem, I hope they are able to talk to their doctors and get help
>>8692604 >constantly crying about "muh self diagnosed problems" >not self-absorbed garbage >implying your highly defensive ranting isn't making it obvious how upset you are over not getting a pity circlejerk like you wanted
>>8685333 It's sad and probably offensive because of colourism, but I only learned to like my pale skin after getting into kpop and anime and realizing there are entire countries out there who like pasty girls. Even if people in my country don't, at least I won't get skin cancer or have to bother with fake tan.
>friend always saying how much she misses me >she goes to uni a few hours away >make plans for dinner >she flakes out >make plans for lunch tomorrow >says she would go > just texted me and flaked again She flakes for like 99% of all plans we have together, does she really not like me and she's just trying to be nice and not want to tell me?
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