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Archived threads in /ck/ - Food & Cooking - 409. page
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What can I eat to give me tremendously nauseating farts? I'm stuck in a truck with an asshole trainer and he shall pay the price for his sins. Ideally something I can eat for dinner and have lethal farts all night. He sleeps in the top bunk so the gas rises.
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Cabbage, beans, brussel sprouts, eggs, heart. Don't chew properly before swallowing, just chew enough that you can safely swallow.
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White Castle sliders will give you death farts equal to the amount you injest
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Roast a head of garlic and eat it a couple hours before you need to drive everyone away.

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/ck/ I really messed up, I've been lying about taking cooking classes so my parents don't think I'm doing nothing all day (I just sit in a car and browse 4chan when I'm "at class"). When they ask what stuff I'm learning to make I'm telling them I make exotic stuff like "Peking-style short sandwiches" or "Donatello Romano" and I just dump a bunch of spices I don't even know or random shit from the fridge onto a cheese sandwich or a ham sandwich or something simple like that and if they don't like it I just...
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>>7705532

my a lasagna and throw a few handfuls of basil on top

super easy and everyone thinks if you use fresh herbs you are a chef
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>>7705532
lmao
>>
Cook a pile of shit


"Its not shitty, its British."

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Why aren't you outside grilling
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>>7702364
Because I had an argument with my wife's son and he told me not to go on the back deck tonight while his friends are there grilling.
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>>7702364
There's a park ranger outside and I don't need to be seen by him.
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>>7702385
What's the problem

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Moving out soon and want a bitchin' kitchen
What are the most important/useful things to have in a kitchen if you're trying to keep the amount of thing you purchase to a minimum?
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a cast iron skillet is great for making 'go style 'za at home but it takes about 2 years to properly season those darn pans and they only last about 6 years before you need to replace, so you do the math

better to be that guy who takes his meals out
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>>7701609
if you're planning on making go'za a lot I would recommend a toaster oven
>>
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>>7701609
TOASTER OVEN
O
A
S
T
E
R

O
V
E
N

http://thesweethome.com/reviews/the-best-toaster-oven/
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008C9UFDI/?tag=thesweethome-20&linkCode=xm2&ascsubtag=SH112

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Friend lost a father the other day to cancer. Funeral visitation is tonight and I'm wanting to make a meal for the family. What should I make?
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>>7700506
Deviled eggs, maybe a cake with a cute phrase in icing on top.
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>>7700506
Just make his favorite thing to eat or something he likes that you can make? Solemn events usually remind me of more simple dishes like a beef stew or even a homemade bread. There's really nothing suitable for the event but stay away from colorful foods. Still, it's more about the act of giving than what you actually give in the end.
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>>7700506
Mostacioli. Tastes good and a number of people can eat it

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I live under the totalitarian rule of an unfair, despicable ogre AKA my father. Just because I am not employed, he thinks he has the right to enforce arbitrary dietary restrictions and treat me like a child. Okay, I am overweight and it is "his" house, that still doesn't give him any right.

Anyway, one of the humiliations he puts me through (and in front of my cunt of a stepmother) is to "allow" me one can of Pringles per week as a "treat" (as if I am a dog and not his human son). Of course the first time he did this I ate them in one...
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This way Anon for the recipe.

>>>/r9k/
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>>7693636
Why can't you just go to the store and buy more ? Or are you 15 like your post suggests ?
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>>7693654
I am 28 with a BSc in CS and more coding and gaming experience than you will ever have.

You are also too dense to understand that when I said I was unemployed that implied I do not have the money to buy more Pringles, otherwise there would be no issue.

Maybe you just live in a world where you get everything for free and don't have to think about money. Must be nice.

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ITT: only the finest YouTube recipes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7Md4YR75qU
328 replies and 44 images submitted. Click here to view.
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I love this fat fag

it's not even the fact that he has nugget recipes, its the fact that he has SEVERAL nugget recipes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VydYvFdLKgA
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>>7689916
I have never seen a neckbeard be this flaming
>>
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>>7689916
>that upwards inflection

Got really insufferable really quickly

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>open a bottle of this
>that god awful smell

Such is the life of an unemployed alky, what is your /ck/ related rock bottom?
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>>7703481
im 18. just stole a bottle of jack daniels honey from my fat step dad. its way too sweet. half the bottle is gone how much more should i drink pls tell me ck
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>>7703487
Enough to numb the beating that should follow
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>>7703487
All of it.. too late to hide that it's stolen.

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During summer break I was home alone from morning to dinner time so I pretty much had to cook for lunch. Luckily I also had access to internet back then so I could google plenty of spaghetti recipes to try out.
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My mom didn't know how to cook anything but stouffer's and kraft mac.

My grandmother used to make badass meals and gave me her cookbook she compiled. Also my dad taught me how to make some bomb ass chili and shepherds pie.

I love the creativity of cooking when I'm broke as fuck too.

My favorite cuisine to cook is definitely creole/cajun.
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being poor and on my own so eating fast food and premade meals all day all the time, realize its actually much cheaper to make your own food. use the internet to learn how to follow recipes, first actual good meal was chicken tiki masala

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Why haven't you cut down on your sugar consumption yet?
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>>7705149
Because Michigan. Who the fuck do you think you are, Texas?
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Because I'm not a keto memeshitter
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>>7705149
Yes, I've been sugar free for 32 days now. Lost 14 lbs, too.

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Your most strangest combinations of food under the influence.
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>>7700011
Sausage, black pudding, scambled eggs and cheese on a wrap x2.

Vinilla ice cream with honey nut cornflakes.

Fuck you need to try these two anons.
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>>7700011
I was making some tomato sauce while pretty baked, and started stir-frying the onions, garlic and tomato. Shit was smelling delicious and I was really hungry so I decided to turn it into an omelette instead. Whisked some eggs and poured it in, made a delicious tomato omelette.

So what's ck's favorite sushi?

Mine is just salmon and rice
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Mine is just rice.
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I never ate Sushi in my life.
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I like Salmon nigiri too.

Not sushi, but Salmon onigiri is also good.

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>comes in its own packaging
>fits perfectly in the human hand
>tastes fucking great
>goes with tons of foods
Fuck you OP, you're a faggot.
>>
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try again

>mealy
>no flavor
>almost inedible skin
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That'd be you, OP

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If meat became scarce for a prolonged period of time, what would you eat?

Note: you can still buy meat but let's say it's 10-50x more expensive, whichever stimulates your creativity.

To get things started I think the idea of roasted carrots with a demi glaze is an interesting substitute
55 replies and 4 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>7706153
>If meat became scarce for a prolonged period of time, what would you eat?
My own limbs.
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>>7706153
Would not change my habits, just switch to drinking hobo-tier vodka and L&M cigarettes.

Maybe drive less.
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>>7706153
bump

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http://www.inquisitr.com/2999902/pasta-sauce-warning-these-products-are-not-intended-to-be-eaten-daily-says-mars-foods/

Mars Food announced Friday that they will soon change the labels on their pasta sauces, macaroni cheese, and certain other products to indicate that they should not be consumed more than once per week. The warning comes as a result of the high salt, sugar and fat content of these products.

According to a press release issued by Mars, their products will be labeled as “everyday” and “occasional” based on the nutritional contents of each...
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>>7703768

Sky News reports that the Dolmio pasta sauce brand in particular will bear the new “occasional” label, indicating that pasta sauces, lasagna sauces, and even pesto are not fit for consumption more than one time each week.

Other products with less fat, salt and sugar will be declared fit for everyday consumption, while other unspecified products will be reformulated with healthier recipes.

Although Dolmio pasta sauce is primarily sold in the U.K. and Australia, the nutritional content is not markedly...
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>>7703772

“To align the global product portfolio with this criteria, Mars Food will reduce sodium by an average of 20 percent by 2021 and reduce added sugar in a limited number of sauces and light meals by 2018.”

The press release also pledges that Mars plans to ensure that its “tomato-based jar products” each contain at least one serving of vegetables each, and that half of their rice products will include either whole grains or legumes.

Despite the pasta sauce warning labels, plans to reformulate Uncle Ben’s products, and pledge to reduce sodium content, the press release only mentions by name the Dolmio, Uncle Ben’s and Masterfoods brands.

According to Reuters, Mars currently has no plans to add warnings to change the recipes of any of its candy products. Some of the candies that Mars sells include M&Ms, Snickers and Starburst.

Do you think it’s necessary for Mars, or other companies, to label products like pasta sauces with warnings that suggest only consuming them once a week? And what kind of message is Mars sending with pasta sauce warnings, while their chocolate bars and candies haven’t received the same treatment?

FIN
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Lol I'm too lazy to cook pasta for the pasta sauces anyway. Damn the spoogooters that the kid is going to eat looks delicious.

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I was surprised to learn that people outside the US don't eat PB&J's and in some cases never even heard of them. For such a simple sandwich and a staple food this is really hard for me to understand. You guys are missing out, especially if pair them with Doritos. You got the soft and sweet of the sandwich contrasted by the crunchy zest of the chips. It's the perfect combo.
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>>7701607
>a staple food
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>>7701659
Peanut butter + Bread + Jelly is a simple cheap and filling meal. I don't see why you wouldn't call it a staple, in the American kitchen at least.
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>>7701659
It's packed in like 90% of kids' lunches for school

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Navy CS. Ask Me Anyting
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how's your S.O.S?
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Navy cock sucker?
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>>7699730
Creamed beef on toast? Pretty good, desu.

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Easy healthy foods to make?

I'll start

Avocado toast

It's super easy to make, very easy to make tasty (add egg, proper seasonings, lime juice, olive oil, different types of bread, tomato, peppers, onion, make it a sandwich!) and is quite healthy.
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I hate avocado.
I work at a sandwich shop. Avocado is the worst thing to put on sandwiches. It slips, slides, never looks appetizing, and goes with nothing. I had a customer get a meatball sub with everything plus avocado.

Fucking disgusting.
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>>7699701

You're a loser, and probably also a liar if you think avocado doesn't go with anything and is in some way difficult to add to a sandwich. Maybe you just work at a shitty sandwich shop where they don't train you properly.
>>
hm I tend to eat pretty healthy and most of the stuff takes prep but I know a lot of snacks that are pretty good for you and are easy to make

I'll add more as I think of them, but here's one

slice up a banana, put some peanutbutter on each slice, and then put the slices in the freezer for like 5-15 minutes. Once they are very cold, they taste like little ice banana/pb flavored ice cream chunks

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Carbs are the devil /ck/ >:(
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Ya what up kid.
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>>7696475

Or you could eat whatever the fuck you want in moderation and exercise.
>>
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for me, keto is all about making use of cabbage.

finely mince some cabbage. dress it in a handful of different dressing to change it up a bit.

most dressing are mayo-based, but sometimes i use vingarettes or asian-ish stuff

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Have any of you ever done any food based comedy?
My local grocery store is hosting an open mic. I am going along and have a few Oreo based jokes prepared (I am going in as 'Mr Oreo'. I have a few good ideas even though I lack confident. Do you guys have any experience? What kind of jokes do you like?
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>>7694444
This is what I got so far
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>>7694444
>>7694448
Holy shit is this pasta? If not then Godspeed you beautiful autist
>>
>golden oreo retriever

What's the best oreo you've ever eaten and why? Where were you at the time?

What's your favourite? Don't even try to tell me about different dishes, different shapes.
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>>7692386
I like the little bow tie shaped pasta :3c
>>
Penne is fav for all purpose

Campanelle for meat sauce

Rotinni for cold pasta salads

Ravioli is best for stuffed

Spaghetti is over rated, not that it was rated highly to begin with
>>
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>>7692396
Penne means penis in Italian. You just admitted you love cock, anon.

I'm telling everyone.

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Discuss best costco/sams club items
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>>7691171
Why did Sam's Club change their pretzel recipe? That was the best.
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>>7691173
i wish i had the answer
>>
Mango salsa

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I will be visiting Japan next month and I expect to be invited to a tea ceremony.
I am researching now because u don't want to commit any faux pas.
Do you have any advice?
>watching anime does not make you an expert so weebs please do not bother, thanks.
71 replies and 11 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>7697817
Ask your host questions before hand on what is to be expected of you. Be very careful when handling the tools.
>>
Youtube has videos, maybe they have a video or 500 on this.
>>
>/ck/, give me advice for going to a traditional japanese tea ceremony
>by the way, i'm not interested in any advice from the people here who are actually interested in japanese culture and would have researched and possibly participated in this stuff before

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What was the worst restaurant on this show? Also, general thoughts on the show as a whole?
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>>7684196

I wish he would have just stuck with the heroin and spared us all.
>>
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I started to like it but it suffers from the same issues Restaurant Impossible had. Terribly scripted drama, scripted walkouts/disgusting things/crying, and most of the redesigned are black and white postmodern crap that completely removes the theme of most restaurants. Plus if you look at the success/failure rates you can clearly see it doesn't work and they went out of their way to pick the worst places. Its almost as if systemic incompetence cant be fixed with two days of yelling and then a group hug.

I mean shit each time a new episode came out I could almost...
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Sebastian's. I went there with some friends because we saw it on the show, and it was disgusting. He was clearly back to making pizzas from frozen and canned ingredients.

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Someone asked me to do this a few days ago. Worked for Costco for 3 years and recently just left. So an AMA I worked basically every department I can answer all!
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>>7698982
How much do you want to commit suicide, 1-10?
>>
>>7698985
While working there 8. My store was a bit shitty with work place politics.
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>>7698982
Is it safe to use Costco fish for sushi? Do you guys cut your own filets?

What am I in for boys?
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Uh, beer?

It's an actual good high ABV highly hopped IPA, bit of a rarity in that sense

But at the end of the day, beer is just beer. Not sure why we need 1,869,401 threads about it every month, inb4 I'm from (pick one: the south, yurop, DPRK) because I have wrong opinions
>>
Pretty much a barleywine
>>7696993
>But at the end of the day, beer is just beer
Thats like saying, 'food is just food, why do we need so many threads about it"
>>
>>7696996
No, food is a broad enough topic to warrant separate threads

Beer only seems to warrant so many threads because (a) we're all alcoholics and most of us spend more on alcohol than on food, and (b) we're all under 30 and haven't noticed other beverages besides beer and whisky

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Why do people think eggs are healthy?
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Because they are.
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>>7699310
This, eggs alone can keep you alive for a long time foodwise, people need to stop being lazy fucks.
>>
If they were 50% lower in calories I could eat a whole one for breakfast.

What is the most authentic Italian dish on the Olive Garden menu? I realize many of the dishes are hardly Italian and are Americanized, but what is the most Italian dish?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Louu_0m_riM
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By far the Chicken picatta.
>>
spegeti and meetball
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>>7697008
The veal.

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What country has the best food in your opinion?
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I love miso soy and fish so probably Japan
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>>7696298
>pic highly related
And it's not even close
>>
>>7696298
Chicago is not a country.

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Whatchu eatin?
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You like?
>>
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Yum yum :D
>>
>>7693976
who dat, why raw?


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