What's your grossest food related story? Food you ate, food you forgot about, etc.
>visiting parents after a hurricane
>power has been knocked out for almost two weeks
>they have a generator to keep the fridge going but can't keep it on at night
>dad pulls out pork loin
>shoves it in my face
>"does this smell ok to you?"
>not half a whiff in, shove him and make a beeline outside
>vomit my guts out into the garden
>dad is laughing his ass off
>"i'll take that as a no."
I've never thrown up from a smell before. I've had to scrape a roadkill, rotting deer off my property and have been sprayed by a skunk and that didn't come as close to what that pork loin smelled like.
I posted this in another thread recently but
>get pack of slim jims
>notice one that is unusually fat on one end, like twice the normal thickness
>"Oh boy what luck!"
>bit into it
>pure off-white grease/fat squirts into my mouth
>never eat a slim jim again
>grandpa lives in Turkey and visit the country for the first time when i was 4
>he owns a farm and shit, makes his cash through hazelnuts primarily tho
>he is pretty unkempt
>one day he decides to butcher a lamb right in the house
>room next to where i slept was where he bled and butchered them
>needless to say, i walked in and never went back
im serious, nothing could describe that smell and also threw up like you op, i still have a vague recollection of running down the long ass hallway to get some fresh air
sure ain't penicillin. is it? I have dumpster dived a few times. trust your own judgement,I ate burger dated 2014. after the power ha been off for a week .I did not die. it was not the best. for sure wouldn't serve it to others. and like Roquefort or blue cheese.,At least pick out the salami.Seriously. all you must do is ask..My never again? Bay scallops... sickest ever and had to drive.. for awhile. got a cheap motel room..with Mom.. Dammit, ,I thought I'd die. not yet. sure ain't tomato, salami and blueberry cake,is it?
Not mine, but my girlfriend's-
>went to a friend's house
>he asks her if she wants a muffin
>she says yeah and takes it
>covered in mold
>she decides to get cereal instead
>a fuckload of ants come floating to the surface
>walked out and bought McDonalds
>12 or something, vacation in Greece
>buy an ice cream
>walk on the street for a bit
>notice a tiny bulge on top of the ice cream, with the same color, but with a different consistency
>don't really care
>it tastes weird
>notice a pigeon leaving from a ledge just over my head
>I just ate pigeon crap
>puke all over the street
Animal innards are never fun.
I like hunting, I love shooting, I like butchering cleaned meat, and I love cooking. Cutting/skinning/cleaning on the other hand makes it almost not worth it... almost.
>go to subway for lunch
>7 hours later, about to get off of work
>stomach starts doing jumping jacks
>still driving home, have to pick up friend from work
>run inside, "come on, we have to go!"
>stumbling around outside, guts in knots, can barely walk
>sweating from the need to shit, and nausea starts to kick in really hard.
>finally arrive home
>run to the bathroom, and throw butt on toilet
>bathroom trash on knees
>commence to vomiting and shitting for 14 hours straight
And I haven't eaten at subway since.
>girlfriend makes chicken curry
>we eat most of it, it's dank as fuck
>a couple days later
>OH SNAP we still have curry leftovers, ima take that shit down
>eat the fuck out of some curry right in front of my girl while we watch a movie
>"man that curry was so good"
>"huh? I ate the last of the curry for lunch today
It was the two week old curry from last time she made it, and she didn't even tell me as I ate the shit right in front of her
I dint die
Friends dad up and left the cabin in the woods he had been living in the woods for years. Went to clean the place up, opened the fridge and all of the food (mostly fish and seafood) he had in there was decomposed into slime and millions of maggots.
I think I had to throw my clothes away because that smell was going nowhere.
I lost one of those rolls of Jimmy Dean sausage in the back of my fridge for who knows how fucking long, when I pulled it out it had tripled in size like a balloon and looked ready to pop. I'm so glad that I got it into the trashcan before it exploded. The smell was awful. It was worse than your moms pussy.
>decide to get fit
>brining tuna to work every day
>Read about mercury in tuna, fuck no thank you kindly
>throw Tupperware dish in back seat of car with tuna in it
>6 months pass
>pick up friends to go see a movie
>car full and going down freeway
>friend steps down on tupperware
>the summer had been a cruel mistress to the tuna
>people in car star gagging
>Anon pull over!!!!!
>pull over on side of freeway, two people throw up
>we chuck the tuna and drive with windows down
Pretty nasty shit... also
>ate cheap Chinese food ($3/for a big ass box)
>end up throwing up so hard a whole shrimp came out of my nose
Lol I had a thing of cured salami, the thing was completely molded. Before I threw it out it had a eat before 2016 date on it. I shoulda ate and sued, but I am allergic to penicillin
>Come home for spring break in college
>Younger brother still in hs
>He and his friends go on a camping trip
>He is a tremendous slob
>My mom and I see this as a golden opportunity to clean his room
>Possibly rid it of its numerous odors
>Third day of cleaning
>Beginning clearing out wads of clothes and garbage from under his bed
>Encounter two things that are neither clothes nor garbage
>2 liter Pepsi bottle, half empty
>Laying on its side
>Layer of green scum coats the surface of the liquid
>Fuzz growing inside the plastic
>Cthulhu alone knows how long it's been there
>Take-out box from Red Lobster
>Family has not been to Red Lobster since his birthday
>His birthday was 7 months ago
>Open take-out box and peek inside
>Quickly close take-out box and throw it into garbage
>Empty entire can of raspberry scented air freshener under his bed
How can anyone put a full take-out box of leftovers under their bed and forget about it?
The only smell that ever made me puke was from 6 month old piss that was left in an empty can of mixed nuts by me. Nut skins and rust and rotting piss all fermented together.
Fecal and rotting smells are bad, but this was something I was completely unprepared for when I went to dump it out. Puked instantly.
>roommate's car is in the shop
>let her borrow my car for work
>two days later open car door
>hit with a heatwave of rancid milk smell
>gagging while I search for the source
>find a nearly empty SlimFast canister in a plastic bag tucked under the passenger seat
It probably wouldn't have been so bad if the windows were rolled down during those two days
Here's one I posted on /trv/ a few years ago:
>Hitchhiking through Peru
>The 4 of us have been staying in a super-rural place for the past several weeks
>Lots of beans and rice and eggs, but no meat
>Leave to go see other places
>Arrive at this crossroads town
>Waiting for a ride
>The little store sells all sorts of snacks
>I but and eat Oreos for the first time in months
>Pass out a few cookies to the little kids that have gathered around us to pester us with questions
>Friend sees a can of Vienna Sausages on the top shelf in the store
>Decides he wants some meat
>The can is super dusty, the label is faded, and it has several large dents in it
>We try to convince him this is a bad idea
>The smell when he opened the can was overpowering
>Sticks one in his mouth, chews a few times
>Expression on his face goes from thoughtful to sheer horror
>Spits it on the ground
>Walks across road, places can on top of gravel pile
>A few stray dogs come over, sniff it, decide to go elsewhere
The last image I have of that town is looking back from the back of the truck we rode out on and seeing one of the dogs hike a leg and piss on the sausage can.
>tried some new mexican place everyone was raving about
>got the chicken enchiladas with tomatillo sauce
>the chicken tasted a little weird, but it was heavily spiced so I figured that was why
>didn't really like it, brought it home in a doggy bag and let my roommate eat it
>12 hours later i'm at work
>holy fuck my stomach
>it's that lower gut pre-shit rumble
>except on steroids
>run to the bathroom
>shit flying out my asshole before i'm even on the toilet
>painful liquid shits and serious cramping for the next 20 minutes
>get a text from my roommate
>"dude i seriously just shit my fucking pants what the fuck was in that enchilada"
>spend the rest of the day shitting intermittently
>mexican place shuts down two weeks later
>at friends home, which is usually empty, because his parents are working in other country and he's living with his grandma
>usually used for smoking/drinking/chilling
>he decides he want to eat
>goes to the fridge
>takes an egg
>cracks it open
>it fucking stayed solid, he took off the shell but the god damn insides of an egg are solid, looked like jelly
>laughed our asses off and threw it out the window
>eating lentils I had left cooking alone
>notice little sticks on some of the lentils, they look cooked think maybe they're spouts
>remember that we had been having a cockroach infestation lately
>newborn cockroaches are the same size and color as lentils
>mfw the connection hits me
Thankfully I didn't develop a phobia
This is both one of my proudest and most ashamed feats.
>Be in college, member of a pseudo-frat that has an annual prank war between its members
>One summer, have barbecue in yard, pot luck, people bring loads of stuff
>weeks later discover crock pot of bean stew someone had for some reason (drunk/college) brought then hidden under a tarp and left.
>open and smell for some reason (drunk/college), has not fared well for a month in Philadelphia heat wave
>welp better throw it out before it gets really... wait. *lightbulb*
>15 months later. Prank season. Bean pot remains in our yard. It now repels the possums, rats and squirrels that used to fuck around in the garden
>clear lid has become a cloudy jizzy color
>open once for some reason (d/c), find multiple colors of mold and straight up mushrooms
>mold colony is huge, evolved, basically has rudimentary language and culture
>One tiny whiff
>Bring the pot out front via the alley - not bringing this in the house ever
>4 friends and I bring beer bong and beans to prank victims' home
>Place tube through mail slot, friend tips contents of beans into the funnel
>It comes out in a semi-solid cake, and bursts as it oozes down the funnel
>Get most of it into the mail slot, fuck it, it's too gross
>Prank victims meet us that night, one has burst a blood vessel in his eye from yakking. Another to this day can be forced Manchurian Candidate trigger-sentence style, to vomit upon hearing the sentence, 'member those beans?
>Victims moved out of that house mid-year, it never rented again during my last two years at college
>I know why
I read most of these but I still think mine is the worst.
>eat fried plantain while dipipng it in sour cream
>next day have some fried plantain with the same sour cream
>pieces of plantain from last night are still in it
>eat through a lot of it
>eventually it was too much and I start picking out the pieces of plantain from last night
>sister walks in, "are you eatng sour cream, Anon?"
>"there were ROACHES crawling in it!"
"no there wasn't"
>look at all the plantain pieces I fished out
>every "piece" was a roach
>realize I felt legs and they were really crunchy
>throw up immediately
>sister just laughs at me
I'm so fucking glad that I live so far north that roaches can't live here
>be 10 years old
>family forces me to finish all my food, as it is wasteful to throw anything away
> no matter how full you are, you must finish
Surprisingly I came out skeleton mode. Go figure.
>mom brings me and my brother these HUGE fucking burritos from a mexican place
>im fucking 10 years old, i cant even put down half of it until im 110% full
>FINISH YOUR FOOD
>mom leaves kitchen
>me and my brother just look at each other and we both somehow come up with the same plan
>we take our burrito halves and throw them behind the fridge
>not inside the fridge, literally behind the fridge
>didn't know about the heat / moisture that comes from motor at the age
>weeks later smell develops in house, we forget the reason why, mom can't find out why
>for some reason, the smell eventually disappears (or maybe we just got used to it?)
>a couple years later, we get a new fridge
>move old fridge and find two masses that are unidentifiable, covered in mold and black, strangely no roaches
>me and my brother laugh because we know exactly what they are when we see them, mom has no clue
Kids are so stupid.
>Riding around with my parents a long time ago
>middle of summer
>find an Arbys beef n' cheddar under some stuff on the back seat
>fuck yeaaaahhh Arbys
>sandwich is very warm and soft and smells fine
>happily munching away
>mom looks back and gives me a funny look as I finish the sandwich
>"What are you eating back there?"
>Found a sandwich from Arbys. You guys didn't want it?
>"......we haven't ate there for a week or two"
By some freak miracle of nature, I was perfectly fine afterwards, but still... holy fuck
>13 years old
>eating a pear
>throw it at the wall
>Mom comforts me and promises that she will never buy organic food again
>eating pizza with friends
>friend likes to put ranch on his pizza
>i notice the bird shit fall on his pizza while he's talking, he doesn't
>i flip out and tell him not to eat because a bird just shit on it
>he thinks i'm fucking joke because we both prank each other often
>I fucking yell SMELL IT YOU FUCKING MORON
>he smells it and he gags, throws it out
>always believes me from that day forward
>pranking him was so fucking easy after that
>in first grade
>had Cheerios for breakfast
>walking down the hall back to class after a bathroom break
>suddenly don't feel so good
>uh-oh, I'm gonna puke
>puke into my cupped hands
>march back to classroom with double handful of regurgitated Cheerios
>ask teacher what to do with it
>she tells me to put it in the trash and go wash up
>couldn't eat Cheerios for years after that
tl;dr we need to raise teacher pay.
Not the worst, but one that comes to my mind.
>One day, my grandma gave me some sweets in a bag. I was 8 or 9 years old by then.
>I left them around on my room; didn't pay much attention to the bag.
>Three days later, i grab them while watching TV.
>I pick a chocolate and caramel popsicle without looking.
>After some seconds, i feel some mild stings in my mouth.
>The candy was ridden with ants.
>The whole bag had them crawling inside. I didn't keep it closed the whole time.
>Quickly, but not in panic, i went to the sink to get a mouthful of water and spit them out.
Now, any time i eat a candy or something with that combination, my whole tongue starts to itch.
Oh fuck. Been there.
>7 yr old
>On school vacation, spending some days at my grandfather's house in the countryside.
>He has two or three mango trees and he just picked some of them early in the morning.
>Sit right there and then, at 8 o' clock to eat one of them.
>Just looking at the grass, the trees and everything while i'm biting down the motherfucker and getting those fibers between my teeth.
>Something wiggles midway my throat.
>I start coughing and i puke the little i ate.
>A big ass worm is squirming in the pool i left in the grass.
>Kept eating dat mango after i recovered my breath.
I'm gald i hadn't eaten breakfast before that
One time in second grade during lunch we were being served fried chicken and I was a happy lil niglet because I got a huge breast piece.
Turns out it was probably a compressed whole chicken.
When I began eating, it started leaking an unnatural amount of grease and I checked for the source.
Upon tearing it open (with my fucking mouth) a deep fried brain comes out and all of the grease/mystery fluid that was pooling in its skull.
Imagine my horror and embarrassment, I was surrounded by little kids in awe at what they'd just seen.
Also, this wasn't me but I just remembered this because it happened in grade school as well.
>Kid who has no friends and does weird stuff for attention
>starts putting shit in his milk carton at the end of lunch because bored and hates milk
>cheese, fruit cup, bread, sputum and more mixed in with his tepid milk
>kids start daring him to take a sip
>he does it
I ran away from the table.
>wake up saturday
>parents left without telling me
>only thing in the whole kitchen is 1 meat flavoured instant ramen and some not refrigerted grilled meat leftovers
>make ramen, add meat and consume
>wait when was the last time we grilled meat?
>3 weeks ago
>fucking 3 weeks old meat not even refrigerated just sitting in the oven
>fuck you dad i spent the whole week in the toilet
I know that smell OP. I used to let ungodly amounts of tupperware become deadly in my fridge because I was a lazy faggot. The final time I had to clean it out after months of neglect, I found two raw hamburger patties in a tupperware. These patties were at least a month old, and I could see through the plastic that they were oozing translucent mucus. A sensible person would have just chucked the whole thing and moved on, but my masochistic curiosity compelled me to crack that fucker open. It smelt pretty much like the belly of a fetid corpse had exploded in my face. I didn't think it was possible to be terrified of a smell. Fighting back my instinct to flee, I snapped the cap back on and chucked it in the garbage, but the scent memory was so traumatizing I actually had to go lay down in another room to keep from vomiting. Definitely the worst smell I have ever encountered, 1000x worse than rancid garbage, catfish bait, fish sauce, dog shit, even rotten animal carcasses.
>tl;dr keep your fridges clean, bitches
I think the worst thing ever, (my 'food phobia' I guess) is biting into something full of grease that fills my mouth
I fucking HAAATE that
Some of the shit in this thread is making me cringe and spit just reading it
I have this thing for buying veggies on a whim with good intentions of making soup or salad or some shit.. but then i'll forget about them in the bottom of my fridge until they've turned into that really slimy liquid.
I've always thought it was interesting how nearly every vegetable, no matter what kind or color, eventually turns into the same foul black ooze.
kek I have thrown away so many bags of liquified vegetable slime. I'm better now about not wasting fresh produce but I'll do shit like go through 2/3rds of a bunch of cilantro and then let the rest decompose in my crisper for a month. I really need to start composting.
Another horror story, this time from my boyfriend.
>BF used to live in New Jersey
>Likes brown people food. (Middle eastern, Cuban, Mexican, etc.)
>One day on lunch break, he notices a new Haitian restaurant
>Has no idea what to expect, decides to try it
>Walks in and everyone is like 'wtf is whitey doing here'
>Orders chicken and rice takeout
>Brings it back to work and starts eating.
>It's half a chicken, looks normal. Meat is dry and somewhat stringy.
>Realizes halfway through that the leg bone has been sawed off through the middle. >Emerging skeleton does not resemble chicken.
>He asks the opinion of multiple brown guys he works with.
>They all tell him it's too big to be a rat, can't be a rabbit because they're more expensive then chicken, so it must be a cat.
>They all find it hilarious.
>It was hilarious.
Late night interstate driving somewhere in AZ or NM, sipping one of these.
Take a chug as some mass of slime and chunky parts passed into my gullet. Spit out what was left. Didn't die, nor even get sick. I'll never know if it was a roach or factory vole or what.
Keep on keeping on.
>stumbling home from a bar
>pass through Wal-Mart parking lot
>find half Slim Jim still in wrapper
Woke up the next morning and remembered what I had done. Surprisingly didn't get hepatitis or choke on vomit.
Fuck me. Can't even imagine what that would feel like.
This crazy chick I worked with tested that theory once. She hid a burger from McDonald's somewhere in the office for a week and then ate it for lunch one day.
She didn't get sick, but other stupid shit she had gotten away with had led us to believe she was indestructible at that point.
A friend of mine left town for a few months and didn't clean out the fridge before doing so. The power was off as well during that time, and it was summer. The fridge was full of fish, pork, chicken, and a bunch of vegetables before he left, but was full of maggots, ooze, and rot when he returned.
He asked me to help him clean it out because he started gagging every time he opened it. It was the worst thing I've smelled in my life, and it got more horrible when we started dumping it in trash bags and some of the stuff exploded.
It took a week of spraying bleach and wiping the fridge down every day to get the smell to go away.
>be still living at home
>dad leaves raw ground beef uncovered
>for almost two weeks
>its black and dry at this point
>have been bugging my mother about it but she shrugs it off because my dad is Hitler
>come home from getting my wisdom teeth
>high as balls
>"dad made sloppy joes, fuck yeah"
>take a few bites
>everyone else was fine
>loose electricity for 6 months because poor
>can run our generator in the day but food still goes bad, just slower
>generator shits out
>it's me, my older brother, his boyfriend, and my friend home for the entire summer while the rents and little brother are gone
>clean out the fridge
>look in the freezer, it doesn't smell it. everything is still frozen.
>"alright bro, you and boyfrando do the freezer. i'll be gone for a week because fuck this place"
>fuck off for a week
>something smells very wrong
>approach kitchen with crippling anticipation
>maggots are pouring out of the freezer
>on the floor, on the wall, squirming their way across the front of the freezer/fridge
>masochistically open it
>we might have just won some sort of maggot record
I have never been so enraged in my life. I'm a fucking stick and they all had muscle and weight over me, but I completely lost it so much I gave my brother's boyfriend a panic attack and neighbors called the cops. I threw bottles of bleach at them, and any and all cleaning supplies I could possibly find.
ONE FUCKING JOB. They have always been lazy slobs but fuck they were almost 30 and they couldn't do one goddamn thing. I slept on the goddamn porch that night and had to assign them chores for the rest of the summer.
I have a friend who cleans out foreclosed houses and he says that the worst is when people are so pissed about leaving they actually piss everywhere. Once he found shit jammed into a radiator in such a way that it was only obvious it was there after he turned the heat on. I think it gave him PTSD because he checks his own radiator at his house before he turns it on.
He is everything but clean. The stereotype of a fat fedora owning neckbeard who lives in his parents basement, thinks he's enlightened and plays video games all day instead of doing anything? That is my older brother. He also believes in fairies and shit like that, and owns a rainbow fox keychain. My younger one is similar, but autistic and a brony. He's not fat but I'm sure he'll be getting there, he's only 16.
They are both stereotypes incarnate. My worst is that I drink heavily maybe 2-3 day out of the month and used to be an addict. You know you fucked up when your parents consider the junkie of the family to be the most responsible out of the four of you.
>In junior high
>School lunches suck, but have alternative options like hamburgers, salads and PB&J
>Get a PB&J
>Take a bite and notice something hard
>Fuck Fuck Fuck
>It's sticking to the roof of my mouth
>It's frozen solid and smells awful
>Almost crying as I try to pry it from the roof of my mouth
>Finally get it off
>Moldy bread with frozen peanut butter
Never ordered another one again.
There are responsible and irresponsible druggies though.
a) you stopped, there's proof
b) chances are you now know your limits and are conscious of not getting carried away with fascinations and obsessions with substances.
I believe it, but I've met many other junkies and it's soured my image that they can get better. Even recovered addicts, I just don't want anything to do with them. I'm 5 years clean but who the fuck knows. I might fuck up one day but at least even when I was pretty deep in it, I never stole anything(i sold a lot of my stuff but that put food on the table and helped with bills even though i was having cold turkey withdrawals) and had the decency to isolate myself. I pawned almost all my shit for that family, even sold my car and they refused to give up or downgrade anything. Won't save a dime either and they bitch about how they have no money.
But just to make this post on topic
>be out drinking in a parking lot with buddies and dixie cups
>grab what i thought was my cup
>mouthful of ashy beer later realize i just took a swig of the ashtray everyone has been using for two hours
>later we bet a guy $20 to drink it all
Back when highschool, my and my friends used to go to this little hippie dippe shop that also should some bakery items to hang out on off blocks.
We ordered a blueberry muffin, but after the first bite, we saw these fine spiderweb like mold in it. We didn't go back.
I left broccoli sitting in my rice cooker for about a week. The night I had originally cooked it the lid had fallen down and I forgot all about it.
The odor was pretty bad and there was some filmy, stringy white crap in the water in the rice bowl. The smell stuck in the steamer basket, the bowl, the lid, and the metal plate attached to the lid.
This post kinda belongs on /x/ because I swear these two things both happened to me and I can't understand it
>eating cereal one day
>thought pops into head "wouldn't it be nasty if you ate all your cereal and there was a big roach on the bottom"
>finish the cereal
>I'm from south carolina, so 2 inch american cockroach drowned in milk at bottom of bowl
>drinking a huge 32oz purple gatorade one day
>"wouldn't it be weird if there was something in your drink but you opened it yourself and broke the cap and everything"
>something in my mouth
>spit it out
friends dad only knows how to make huge batches of food from his fireman days, but it's just the two of them. shit like chop suey, soups, stews etc, for like 10+ people. food is actually pretty damn good, i'd take some home and they'd freeze the rest. his fridge was always stocked full of snacks and soda and shit that keeps forever.
>head over for the weekend while his dad was on vacation
>no stew in the freezer, pot was still in the fridge
>have a bowl or two
>friend is too lazy to freeze bag it so he leaves it for his dad to do when he comes back
>head to fill the fridge with snacks and other shit
>push the stew pot behind a bunch of snacks, under the meat drawer(no mans land)
>forget about it
>come back next weekend, his dad is using a different pot
>fridge still full to the brim
>think nothing of it
>weird smell in the kitchen
>try to figure out where it's from
>help friend begin cleaning out fridge
>it's all coming back to me
>tell friends dad
>pot is dead cold and smell is clearly coming from there
>we take the pot outside to investigate
>we stand back
>he opens pot, facing away from him
>mold spores shoot out like a cannon
>entire thing is just caked in mold
>brown mold sludge that smells like death drips out
>friend pukes, i almost do
>toss into a dumpster, never to be seen again
>Poor but an adventurous eater
>Find out there's a Himalayan/Tibetan/Indian place in town
>Try out some of their food, some naan, some shrimp (cooked in coconut milk with ginger, fucking amazing), lamb momos (dumplings), and jasmine basmati rice
>I'm gonna try their yak dishes!
>smells like a sweaty homeless man's sock
>Take a bite
>No flavor, just tastes like more sweat
>Get about 1/3 of the way through before I have to throw it away
Not gonna try yak from this place again, the other stuff is delicious though.
I have a small population of phorid flies in my room. They don't really hurt anything, but there are always at least a few around.
Anyway, one time I was sitting on my bed watching a movie with a plate of food. I had a baked potato I hadnt cut open on the plate.
>have to go to the bathroom
>potato somehow rolls off the plate between the bed and wall
>somehow don't notice it is even missing
A while later I noticed a weird potato smell in my room, and dug around under there and found it. I picked it up, and the entire potato fell apart because the entire inside had been replaced with thousands of maggots.
Friend of mine made a quiche with off milk.
I'd asked him twice if the milk was fresh because his kitchen smelt of off milk and he said it was fine.
I had one mouthful and spat it out but he ate the whole thing.
>all these stories with maggots
This may be a really stupid question, but do maggots grow in rotting food, or do they just come out of whatever hole they live in if they smell rotting food?
I once took a bet that I could drink 72 ounces of ranch dressing in 10 minutes and keep it down for 5 minutes after finished. Three friends pooled fifty bucks together and I matched it. I filled 4 and a half 16oz beer glasses full of the salad dressing (one friend paid for the huge bottle) and proceeded to chug the thick white liquid as fast as I could. The first three glasses weren't too bad, but the last one and a half were a struggle. The thickness was the key problem. I finished with time to spare and held that shit down for 5 minutes. Made myself vomit immediately after into a swimming pool. Cha-ching. The stream of white cum that spewed out of my throat was unforgettable. I don't eat ranch anymore.
L-Like these, right?
>meet my gf at a target
>experience starbucks for essentially the first time
>no clue what to order
>"I'll just have an unsweetened iced green tea."
>what could go wrong? i thought
>tasted breddy gud
>me and gf are just chilling in her car after strolling around target drinking starbucks
>within half an hour after its down the hatch my stomach is gurgling like a boomer from L4D
>literally clenching my anus, sitting on AND clenching both butt cheeks, and my knees are practically touching each other im fighting it so hard
>"Femanon I need you to drive me to the gas station across the street."
>"JUST DO IT."
>she starts driving "What's going on?!"
>all i can say is "Bathrooooom..."
>im groaning in discomfort at this point
>"What?! Why couldn't you go back in Target???"
>waddle into the shitty gas station as if im balancing an ostrich egg between my chest and knees
>get to men's room
>shuffle to women's room
>butt-souplex the toilet
>a continuous stream of slightly cloudy, clear liquid comes streaming out of my ass
>my gut is burning
>sat there for at least 45 minutes
>finally got back to gf's car
>stomach still aches horribly
>"There must have been something in that tea..."
>recuperate the strength to drive myself home
>by the time im home (15minutes) im forced into waddling again
>waddling for the front door
>anus is exhausted at this point
>unleash a stream of clear liquid all over my front porch/bushes
>once i can clench a bit more i scurry into the house
>spent the entire night on the toilet
Reminds me of one time I got out of the shower
>pick up towel
>start to dry myself
>notice a big ass spider on it
>let it down and crawl away because spider bro
>continue to dry myself off
>skin feels crawly
>squint in horror at my arms
>i just dried myself with a single mother and her five thousand babies
>jump back into scolding shower
>11 years old
>Grandpa brought huge ass mango from Brazil.
>Sit and eat for breakfast.
>So sweet, so tasty.
>After a while my mouth starts itching.
>Probably a dumb allergy to the foreign fruit.
>Don’t care, keep eating.
>Mouth keeps itching.
>What the shit.
>I wipe my mouth with my fingers and see tiny things moving between them.
>Tiny white worms between my fingers.
>Tiny white worms all over the mango.
>Mfw I stop chewing and feel the worms moving in my mouth.
>likes brown people food
>middle eastern, cuban, mexican, haitian, ect.
How do you group those peoples together? Mexican, Caribbean and middle easter aren't very similar cuisine wise, or culturally
My folks have a cabin on a lake, and once left a mostly-full milk jug in the fridge. Which we unplug when nobody's at the cabin. Which is 10 months of the year.
I had happened to be the first to use the cabin that year, which had been an unseasonably hot year, and I opened the fridge to find a swollen gallon jug of lukewarm whole milk staring at me.
Instead of keeping my beer in a cooler and letting someone else deal with it, I manned up, threw a garbage bag over it, and tried to carry it out to the garbage can. As soon as I touched it, it exploded all over everything.
I slept in a tent the entire week.
>use small crock pot to make chicken cacciatore
>two thighs, shits so cash
>forget about sauce in crock pot
>a few weeks later
>look in crock pot
>writhing with maggots
>finally fix maggot filled crock pot issue by quadruple bagging and throwing it out
>move on to cleaning up trashcan
>pull out trash bag
>hundreds of maggots climbing up side of trashcan
Fuck living in the South. Bugs everywhere.
The only bug/rodent problem I've ever had in my home and with food was ants during the summer time. And they were really only a moderate amount too.
Am I abnormally lucky, or do all you fags just live in third world shitholes?
I once ate a cheese stick I found sitting in a snowbank. I wasn't even drunk. Completely sober on my way back from class. The package was still sealed, so I suppose it's not that gross, though it was fun grossing out my friends.
>mfw I grew up in Sydney and emigrated to the US
>roomies ask me why I flip my shoes upside down and bang them together before I put them on
Because mad fookin spiders that'll bite clean through your fookin toenail
>drinking some good juice
>go to sleep and leave unfinished juice open
>wake up thirsty and drink what's left of the juice
>feel something crunchy and smooth, kinda like raisins
>spit juice out
My family always asked me why I was so anal about what I drink, but it's their fault.
>hella thirsty as I was running all day
>see a cup of lemonade I was drinking earlier
>lemonade's thicker than normal
>open lid and find a fucking phlegm in it.
Fuck whoever spits inside cups and doesn't put it in the trash
>buy Arizona canned iced tea, peach flavor
>drink like half at my computer desk, fall asleep in chair
>wake up, groggy, haven't put my glasses on yet
>take a sip of my arizona from last night
>feel some small things in my mouth
>fucking ants everywhere
>spit them out, some still crawling on my teeth
>get stuck in my braces
>ants all over my desk, keyboard, and this gross Arizona can
>nearly pass out
at least it wasn't roaches
Cubans are like all Caribbean islanders. Sure there are a bunch of white expats who had money and got out before the communism came for them, but most of the Cuban people are brown or some variation of there of.
>Have an ant infestation in our kitchen
>We try to carry on as normally as possibe in spite
>Go to pour myself a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios one morning
>Only a few pieces come out
>Remove the bag from the box to investigate
>All the Cheerios have become stuck together in one huge brick of cereal that's TEEMING with ants
>Turns out that one bag wasn't clipped shut like the rest, so the ants got in and glued the cereal's sugary coating together with their various fluids, forming an edible colony
Green = Would
Orange = Might
Red = Ehh, only if they're pure like myself
I posted this one before when it happened.
>be me working as an expat in semi-shithole Asia
>have to go in to the national tax office to do my taxes
>because they don't trust expats to be able to figure out the forms on our own or something
>stop for lunch on the way over there
>weird Korean restaurant
>Korean food is sort of "in style" here lately
>ok, what the hell, looks good
>get served some sort of rice frying itself in oil on a white hot cast iron pan
>have a weird fart
>doesn't feel like I've shit myself though
>go to sleep
>wake up the next morning
>start putting clothes on
>pick up my underwear from last night
>notice the ass is covered with a light orange stain
>fart a little
>wait, that really did feel wet
>big orange stain spreading, stinks bad
>go to toilet
>squeeze out a mess of orange-colored oil
>start to get dressed again
>go to toilet
>fart out another load of orange stinky oil
>my sheets are ruined
>lay down anyway
>realize I will not be going in to work that day
Korean food. Not even once.
>be lazycunt high schooler
>play COD4 all day on my bed
>use windowsill next to me entirely as a soda can/gummy worm storage area
>so many old cans, hard to keep track
>wake up one morning
>MY MOUTH IS A DESERT
>grab an old warm can of grape crush
>swig down a big gulp
>hmm...tasted different than normal
>like a different kind of sweet, the flavor was more crisp too
>later that day get bitched at by dad to clean up my disgusting room
>dumping a mountain of leftover soda cans into sink
>notice all the old grape crush cans are swimming with huge ants, some of them had wings
This thread is making me regret the amount of times I've eaten food from trash bins/dumpster diving. I feel really gross and somewhat lucky that I haven't caught any diseases or food poisoning from doing it.
This just came back to me after reading this thread.
>maybe 11 years old
>love to eat limes
>cut them in half, suck out the juice, eat the pulp
>one day I'm looking for something under my bed
>half of a lime is there, starting to mold
>black on top, peel is dried out and crisp
>grab it to throw it away
>the black stuff explodes in all directions
>it was a swarm of tiny flies coating the insides
>bang my head on the bed in a frantic attempt to get out from under it
>never saw the flies again
HOly fuck it happened to me last week when I ate Subway! I was spraying the toilet with my vomit, my gf thought that I was flushing the toilet. I think there is an ingredient in Subway buffet that if you eat it pass the use date, you'll end up poisoned. Never going to eat subway ever again tho.
I accidentally ingested spoiled milk last week. This is the second time it happened in my life. I never forgot the taste the first time, so I wasn't traumatized this time. It was just really bitter and chunky. Now the only reason I did that is because I'm used to my milk having a "sell by" date, not a "use by" date, and mine said "use by March 6", I assume it said "sell by" so when I drank it on March 6 or 7, and it tasted like shit I was pissed off and felt kind of conned. Always read the labels folks...
>he checks his own radiator at his house before he turns it on.
Couldn't you at least embellish it some to make it a good read? like:
>With some friends in Croatia
>Everything smells funny, especially the people
>Decide to have dinner there
>They had complimentary green tomatoes on the tables
>Try a few, friends don't want any
>Later that night
>Stomach feels like it's sliding around
>Tremors start, complemented by loud rumbles
>Leap to the bathroom
>Shit spews out of my ass
>Almost achieve liftoff
>Friends all laugh
>primary school, 9 years old.
>last day of school before I level up
>bought my favorite curry bun from the canteen
>waiting for mum to pick me up
>kept the curry bun in the compartment of my bag that I never use
>mum called me up on my Walkman W550i
>says she's stuck in rush hour, go to a friend's place
>went to friend's place to play Musashi Brave Fencer till mum came over and picked me up
>kept bag in the living room
>holiday was 2 months long
>goes to school
>brother breaks up with girlfriend
>girlfriend turns off power for deposit
>brother doesn't realize this
>power out for days, food still packed in fridge
>helping him move out with mother
>mom opens the fridge to make sure it's clean
>rainbow of mold, literally everything is moldy
>ketchup bottles have mold on the outside
>watermelon in crisper is neither red or green anymore, has a core of pure black
>had to go outside due to the smell
To this day I am deathly afraid of mold. I check my bread constantly just for the slightest hint of trouble. I'm also anal about expiration dates now.
I don't know dude, just some pic I found on Google with "curry bun"
>Get whole chickens in every day in super sturdy box
>server asks for a box to put folded linen napkins in
>i point to the pile of boxes that usually accumulate
>walk by server station, napkins are in chicken box
>mfw when i reamed the server out
>mfw a week later they were still in the same box
>mfw when this is a upscale restaurant, average plate $40+
>mfw when 2 weeks later the same server did it again
>dad use to bring home lots of twinkies and bread
>asked me if I'd like to come along to get some
>we drive up to a farm and inside there is a huge pile of expired bread and twinkies/boxed cakes
>I was eating cow food this whole time
I can't eat bread now unless I buy it myself or bake it myself.
>Come home from school one day
>See a piece of cheesecake left on the table (Mum always bought me stuff from the cafe)
>I just pick it up and bite
>I look at it a second letter
>It's swarming with tiny bugs
>Start feeling them in my mouth
>Throw my guts up inside
Aaaand I still don't eat cheesecake
>be hungry, go on /ck/
>open this thread
>remember shitting myself with liquid from somthing i ate last week
>my prejudice turns to the tilapia
>scoop it into the trash, "you wont hurt anyone anymore"
>next i turn to the deli turkey from last week
>heating it up in a sandwich right now so its not as gross in my mind
there's been times I have opened a can of tuna and it's like a gross grey color with the consistency of canned crab meat. and it doesn't smell quite right so I chuck it. better safe than sorry
yes it is very common, a good server is like finding a black pearl in a Chesapeake Bay oyster.
They are for the most part in your words, fuckwits
Unless they're French and then they kick ass, ive seen French servers send food back without any gripe.
Occasional rare food poisoning here and there.
But since this thread is about gagging and vomiting mostly, I have a drunk/food story.
>extremely drunk at a party
>was hungry as fuck so ate some egg/mayo/potato salad
>decide to go to another place
>3 drunk friends and 1 non drunk driver going in a car
>I'm in the back right
>just drove onto a long ass bridge
>speed limit is increased from 50kph to 90kph
>drunk as fuck and apparently the mayo was old or something
>or perhaps it just didn't mix too good
>feel like I'm about to throw up
>friend next to me asks "yo, anon, you okay?"
>he keeps staring me in the face
>at this point I just don't say anything, just open the door of a motherfucking car on a bridge going 90kph and my innards explode outward
>I miss the gap and hit the glass/door, so half of it goes out, half back in the car
>s-sorry with vomit all over me
>that was the first gag, here comes round two and you can feel the power
>open the door wider, since drunk as fuck I naturally disregard safety, lean out, keep shooting and at some point undo my seatbelt
>friend left of me apparently doesn't make things easier by trying to get a grip on me but almost pushing me out of the car
>driver meanwhile panics, cause shit would be easy on a street - you just stop
>but we're on a bridge, so we can't stop, so he just goes pedal to the metal and 120kph
>on a motherfucking bridge in a shitty old car swaying left and right in midnight with doors open and throwing up
from rural alberta and my family would always buy like half a cow from neighbours and shit, anyway:
a year or two ago i went down to the farm and decided to cook. found some steaks and stuff in the freezer, pulled out a package and unwrapped it. what. the. fuck. i had never seen anything like it. it was all grey and yellow and looked like it had fucking cancer or some shit. turned out the butcher didn't drain and cut it right so all of it got infected. it was a fucking absess of pus that had just fermented, we had to bring it all back. fucker didnt want to return it either until we threatened to get the health dept involved.
it was seriously the most foul shit ever, one one of the ribs the inside of the bone was just liquid pus
>at the time I was going to high school
>never was a morning person
>sit down at the kitchen table to eat breakfast
>see a glob of white stuff on my hand
>"looks like bun icing"
>don't realize at the time that my mom would never ever buy sweet buns, much less with icing on it
>lick it off
>it was soap I just used to wash my hands
>roommate and I move to a new house
>no truck and no help means we have to do countless trips
>all in all not much time to eat
>his grandpa died one or two days prior, so apparently we inherit his food
>including these frozen chicken filets
>be hungry to the point where I have no judgment
>use microwave to warm them up
>wolf them down
>"feels like the texture is a bit off"
>look at the last half of the second filet
>mfw I just ate raw chicken
I'm getting nauseous just thinking about it.
> was with the chinese half of the family at a restaurant in the countryside of Shanwei (southern china - 8 hours from Hong Kong).
> restaurant had man made lakes all around it, where they raise their own seafood.
>always being told to never drink the water while in China. (Yellow river in Chongqing, is undrinkable, 90% of 10 mile stretches are harmful to naked skin)
>all the cooked fish is fresh but has a wierd smell, tastes great, but has a strange wild smell.
> 4 hours later i started evacuated my intestines.
>started passing yellow liquid (intestinal fluid i found out)
>sickness lasted for 18 hours
>had a strange craving for coca cola since it was the only drinkable water i could trust.
> in the same town, at the restaurant that specialises in bee's
> deepfried, soup, pan fried all kinds of bees.
>old woman sit out the front picking the bees out of the hives. So the bees are fresh.
> wasnt able to eat the bees because the wild fish had turned my intestines inside out.
> all the cutlery, bowls and cups come in cling wrap from an outsource company.
>i can't trust the outsource company :(
>on the day we leave the home town wifes father is hungry
>go into a homely street restaurant.
>old traces of food smeared up and across the walls.
>the ingredients for a specialty dish of this restaurant (and area) are sitting out in the open in the summer heat. Festering smell.
> lots of flies everywhere.
> Soup made of green tea, ground sesame seeds and various chopped vegetables. Nice Bright green colour.
> i can't make myself eat it because the whole place is so fucking filthy.
chink guts are filled with acid
My grandma is a bit of ahoarder. When I was a teenager it wasn't very bad but she was old and things would rarely go bad in her refrigerator. I went there for lunch everday at school. One day I grab a box of apple juice anf take a huge swig. It doesn't taste like apple juice and does not have the texture of apple juice. It is slimy and fuzzy. I spit it out and want to throw up. I pour out the box and it's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen. To this day I don't use boxed liquids unless I know exactly how long they have been open.
Another not so bad one:
Get KFC, a box that has a chicken leg and fries and a sandwich or something. Finish, put everything in box and box back in bag. Put bag beside garbage (garbage was full), 3 days later notice there is a weird yellow thing beside the bag. Lift it up and there are just tons of maggots crawling outside of the bottom of the bag. It wasn't even a week and I live in a cold place.
Are you me?
>this fucking freak of nature in our class has some weird as hell eating habits
>one day he started mixing things into his milk carton
>two potato balls, two packets of ketchup, half a roll, chocolate milk he took from a friend, a bite of pizza, and a huge glob of his own snot
>mixed it into a sludge
>he liked it
>I had to leave the table because I kept dry heaving
I hated that kid.
not really about me eating food, but something I hear while food was being made
>Dad brings home raw chicken and starts preparing it
>He calls me from my room and tells me to cmei n the kitchen
>He goes like "wanna see something cool?"
>I say sure
>he pulls out the bag of gizzards and organs that are inside the chicken
the fucking sound though was just nasty. just wet and slimy.
>deepfried, soup, pan fried all kinds of bees.
not even bees are spared from these savages.
I used to work as a food health inspector. I'd go to restaurants and make sure everything was in order, make sure the kitchen is clean, make sure the food was properly stored and handled, etc.
Where I live a restaurant inspector can either make unannounced visits or inform the proprietor in advance. We mixed up visits just to keep people on their toes. I was going to a small diner-style restaurant for a routine inspection. I didn't have to, but I'd informed the owner that I'd be making an inspection a week in advance.
I walk in. Owner sees me and immediately freaks because he apparently forgot that the inspection was today. He tries to keep his cool but I could tell something was off. After a brief look around I tell him that I'd like to see the kitchen.
Then the excuses started.
>I've been sick all week and haven't been around
>We haven't had a lot of time to prepare
>We've got some newbies in the back so we're not at our usual quality
>Give me another day or so
I ignore him and then make my way into the back, informing him that the restaurant should be working at the highest standards possible at all times and that his excuses don't matter. I'm required to inspect the kitchen.
Go in and the first thing I see is some wide-eyed, barely-out-his-teens worker pouring glasses of tea through a filter. They had been taking the leftover tea that hadn't been drank and then pouring it through some mesh to remove the bits of food that may be in it, then filling their tea containers back up so they wouldn't have to just pour the tea back out. Every single person in that restaurant who had ordered tea was tasting God-knows how many other people's saliva and whatever tiny, unnoticeable particles of food that didn't get caught in the mesh.
It is the most disgusting and insane thing I've ever seen at any restaurant I inspected. The owner was saving only fractions of pennies by doing it and he was putting every tea-drinker in his restaurant at risk. He was letting people drink other people's fluids. Imagine if just one of those tea-drinkers had herpes or hepatitis any other disease that could spread through saliva.
I immediately shut the place down. The owner threw a fit and attempted to deface my car as I left.
that's the worst way to go about it
>It took a week of spraying bleach and wiping the fridge down every day to get the smell to go away.
He was lucky. Same thing happened to one of my mates and he cleaned the shit out of it (I think he hired professionals) but it still smelt horrible. Had to throw the fridge out and buy a new one
You actually can be allergic to mangoes if you are very sensitive to poison ivy/oak/sumac. The plants are related. Cashews are too, but less likely to cause problems since they are just nuts. To be honest the itching doesn't seem like something that worms would cause. Maybe it was both.
i have a super tame version of that
>1st, 2nd or maybe 3rd grade in smalltown, USA
>fat kid charlie beachler was a morbidly obese at 8ish years old
>insert joke about beached whales
>our school had a varying menu, with a constant of chicken patty and pizza for kids that didn't like day's choices.
>charlie had a chicken patty every day
>charlie smothered his chicken patty with a pound of mayo
>you couldn't see his sandwich under the mayo
>assigned seats puts me across from charlie
>he picks up the mayo sammy with side of chicken
>bites into it
>mayonnaise drips down his face, down his neck, onto and into his shirt
>fat fucker starts to use his hand to stop all the mayo, just to plop it back onto his sandwich.
>violently throw up due to moderately weak stomach and his mayo bath.
>heard later, from the nurses office, that he continued eating his chicken patty while covered with my puke
he dropped out of schoool in 9th grade and last i heard worked out of his home (formally his parents' place, already with fat-ramp installed instead of stairs) banking like 150k/yr doing IT jobs.
fuck you chuck you fat fuck i haven't been able to eat mayonnaise since.
thx4reading my blog, friends.
>4th grade lunchroom
>Get my tray of food and sit with my gaggle of friends
>Crack my milk carton open
>Pour a little out on the side of the table, looks fine
>Stick my plastic fork in the carton
>I'm able to pull up an ooey gooey chunk of milk that has turned solid and set it on the table
>Stop drinking milk pretty much to today, almost 20yrs later.
The texture of the damn thing was almost like a breast implant.
>be out drinking with bros
>find a pizza carton with some leftovers at a park outside.
>start eating cold pizza
>friend asks what's the white stuff moving in pizza
>there is fucking worms in the pizza.
That's could only be caused by the employee there not washing their hands after taking a shit.
First a funny story
>My parents can understand and speak english fine, but some things still illude them
>Long car trip
>No place to grab food but a gas station
>"I don't want just Chex Mix, mom, I'm really hungry"
>We'll buy one of them there hot dogs for you Anon
>Mom and dad walks up to the hotdog machine, rotating and cooking dogs on top, they look perplexed as to what to do for a few seconds, they see hotdog-shaped shit wrapped in tin foil underneath the cooking wieners
>Grabs that, we go to checkout
>Girl at the counter and the guy who ran the hotdog machine (he didn't say anything to my parents while all this happened) are both smiling
>Get back in car
>Warm bun with nothing in it
Here's the horror part
>Mom made chicken schnitzel
>Watching TV while I eat
>"Wait, what's this creamy shit in my mouth"
>Look at schnitzel
>The pounded breast had some tumor-like thing in right in the middle of the meat
>Spit, brush teeth, mouthwash
>Go back, cut off tumorous part, eat the rest
>Migrated back to my country of origin
>Family gathering, beef schnitzel
>My uncle left the beef on the counter for two long before making it
>It didn't taste funny, so nobody was the wiser
>Wake up that night
>Both bathrooms occupied and others already desperately waiting
>Step into alleyway
>Vomit like I've never vomited before
>Vomit out of my nose
>Blow nose, small bits of beef come out with trace amounts of vomit
Ok, Sour cream comes in sealed refrigerated tubs.
1st. How are there roaches in the refrigerator?
2nd. Assuming raoches in the refrigeratior, how would they get into the sour cream?
I have been in some shithole infested places, with piles or roaches and rat feces, but the INSIDE of the fridge is generally free of insects.
>30 minutes later
You know, food poisoning doesn't work this fast. If your body was having that severe a reaction from the tea, you would be throwing up instead of having diarrhea.The tea was probably still being absorbed in your stomach after just 30 minutes. It was probably something else from earlier in the day or maybe even the night before that would have caused diarrhea.
Maybe not food poisoning but I've drank a cappuccino from DD's one day and within ten minutes I was puking and pissing out my ass.
Thought it was just that DD's. Went to another one, my sister had ordered a cappuccino. She ended up buying something else and gave me her's and lo behold, I should have learned my lesson the first time.
I don't have many. The job was pretty dull and routine. Most infractions were very minor and easily cleared up and I very rarely had to close any businesses. Most problems only come from people without much restaurant experience. All the established places always had their acts together, so it was mostly just a long series of dealing with first-timers until they moved location, shut down, or (rarely) got successful and stable.
Let's see. Well, where I worked there was a building that was infamous for devouring aspiring restaurateurs. It had all of the issues that you wouldn't want in a building for your restaurant. First of all, it was in very, very close proximity to two other restaurants that had been active for years and had lots of loyal customers. Second, the guy who owned the building was an absolute dick. The prices he charged for his lease were obscene and you had to do very, very well to make a profit if you were leasing from him. He ended up suckering a lot of first-time restaurant owners who didn't know much about money management or establishing a consumer base.
Saw the same thing happen over and over and over. Someone would lease it, they'd do well for a few weeks because everyone wanted to try the new place in town, then the customers would all go back to their usual places and the restaurant would be forced to either shut down or go way, way into debt.
Anyway, this happened after one owner went through just that and had to close down. I remember it was some married couple. They wanted to make a classic American semi-casual dining place. They made a big deal about serving oysters (oysters are hard to get where I worked, usually seen as a seasonal thing). Had 'Steak and oyster dinner' right on their sign.
This made them quite a bit more successful than most of the people who tried, but it wasn't enough. Eventually more people just went back to eating at their usual places and the price of food + that ridiculous lease caused them trouble. They wisely decided to close up shop and get out. I think they were bitter as hell about it too. I'll get to why in a moment.
Anyway, so the place shuts down, right? 'For Lease' sign pops up in the window, power is cut off to save money. About two months later a new wannabe restaurateur leases the place. I come over to inspect the place on the same day they get the keys to the building.
Dining area? A little dusty, but not too bad.
Kitchen? Was in shambles, but it wasn't that gross. Nothing a little work wouldn't fix, wouldn't need to hire anyone else.
Then, oh baby, then we get to the walk-in freezer. This is what makes me think the previous owners were bitter. They were so eager to get the hell out and move somewhere else that they neglected to empty their freezer.
Reminder, the power has now been off for about two months.
Two. Months. Two months of everything in that freezer just stewing. Rancid, noxious fumes pooling together and just waiting for some poor tongue-slapper to open the door and let it all out at once, gushing into their face.
Over a hundred pounds of raw meat. Boxes upon boxes upon boxes of raw oysters and fish. Crates of vegetables reduced to dripping, soggy mush. All of that stink exploded in my face at once.
Imagine, just for a moment, that a diseased cow filled with rotten fish farted in your face. Like, directly. Point-blank range.
I reeled back, pushed the poor new leaser out of the way, ran to a sink, and vomited harder than I think I have ever vomited in my entire life. The people who left that stuff in there may as well have just posted a note on the door saying 'Fuck you, take it. Take it all.'
Fuck the owner of that place for not even coming in to check out his own building. I quarantined that place. Threatened the scumbag who leased that place without ever inspecting it with a big, fat lawsuit if he didn't pay out of pocket to get that place professionally cleaned. If you're gonna lease a place to someone then make sure it's in order.
>whenever I puke it always comes out my nose
>last time it happened I had to blow out chunks of french fries and hot dogs for over an hour
>whenever I eat either one I worry that I'm going to puke that night
>grab the old powder from the back
>dump a bunch in
>"I didn't know this curry had whole black peppercorns"
>look in container
>they're not peppercorns
>generations and generations of living and dead bugs that have only ever eaten dead bug and curry
>friend is chilling with his cousin
>sends me a Snapchat
>tiny pillbugs and rat shit in a box of Mini Wheats
>few hours later
>have a billion Snapchat videos from him
>they got drunk
>they thought it would be fun to dare each other to eat it
>each had a big bowl with moldy fucking milk
>they both finish all of it
I don't really know why, but even writing this makes me gag, even though I've personally dealt with worse.
Can anyone relate?