> be me
> go to McDonald's by myself and order $30 worth of food
> insist it's too go and I'm taking it to my friends
> go sit with food in the dark back corner of the restaurant
> half way through gorging myself, the cashier who took my order walls by and sees me
> there is deep pity in her eyes
Fuck me you just reminded me. legit saw something like this once
>in shitty corner shop after college
>fat fuck comes in and picks up about 10 chocolate bars and other shit
>piles them on the counter in front of me
>starts going on about how he needs to buy all this chocolate because his kids will nag him and what have you
>says his kids will brings friends after school so he buys sweets to keep them quiet
>after I payed for my shit and walked down to the bus stop, I saw him get into his van and sit there stuffing his face with chocolate
>ate the whole lot and drove off
>not even in the direction of the local school
It was legitimately fucking uncomfterble to stand there and listen to lie about his gluttony. Holy shit
Fat fucks get your shit together
>tfw I bought a ton of mcdolands when I was extremely into my fat and feeding fetish and I swear someone saw me looking at porn while I ate in my car in an empty parking lot somewhere for motivation
>Go to my country's variation on Not-McDonald's
>Order the biggest meal, large and with extra drinks
>Eat there without feeling guilty
>Nobody judged me with their eyes as far as i know
Have a spine and it will be fine no matter how much you eat. Remember: You have the money to eat a lot, so they should feel jealousy, not pity
This is key. You do a reverse fatty. You know how fat people like to put on a show and eat very little in front of others, then when no one is looking, they stuff their fillets with secret shame?
Do the reverse, eat sensibly small meals most of the time, then when the fatties ate watching, eat a fuckhuge meal. Watch the wheezing rage ensue.
I get that. Not really an alcoholic myself, but we used to exclusively drink 40s in high school (now in my mid-twenties), and I still occasionally pick up a couple 40s for nostalgia
I had a similar thing happen when I was working in a shop; we had some fairly small chocolate bars on sale for quite cheap, and a fat guy came in bought about 40 of them. Gave a whole story about how they were such a great bargain and they'd last him ages. Knew he'd devour them in a matter of days.
That's happened to a girl at my uni, really fucked up to see someone who was reasonable just balloon to fat as fatass so fast. Shame, she used to be sorta cute but now she's just a ball really.
>get off work
>go to mcdonalds
>get 20 piece nugs, large fries, and a double cheese
>eat it all in my car
>drive to taco bell
>as I'm driving up to the window frantically hide McDonald's trash so taco bell employees don't see them and judge me
>eat taco bell meal in my car
>stuff all fast food trash down into the bottom of outside trash can
>go inside and eat dinner with wife and kids
>go to McDonald's
>go through the drive-thru
>eat large meal in my car
>want more McDonald's
>don't want to go through drive-thru again
>go inside and order second meal at counter
>hope none of the drive-thru employees look over and see me ordering again
Back when I was fat, I used to make up excuses all the time; but I tended to have enough willpower to get home before I gourged
Fast Food: "Would be nice if I didn't get stuck ordering for everyone."
Convenience store: "Having a Roulette party. Everyone buys one thing in bulk at chance. I have to buy the chips and chaser."
Or I fake being stoned.
Fuck those were pathetic days. Happy I took control of myself again.
How i order my food: "FUCK YEAH ITS ALL FOR ME YOU TERRORIST FUCK! AMERICA FUCK YEAH! FAT AND PROUD. Don't like it? FUCK YOU! and have a nice day"
Get proud, you pussies!
I did that recently. Picked up a handle of rum, went through it in 2 days. Went back to the store and the same cashier was standing there. I said I was buying liquor for the house. Now I go to 4 different stores in a pattern for my liquor due to how much I drink.
Nothing to do with fatness, but...
>hanging out at friends house
>want some wine
>nearest place to get some is a fucking wholefoods
>looking for their cheapest wine because poorfag
>employee asks if I need help
>"Uh, yeah. I'm looking for your cheapest red wine. I'm gonna be making a wine reduction pan sauce with my steak, so I was thinking maybe Burgundy or Cabernet Sauvignon. Just need it for cooking, haha."
>Wow! Sounds great, right over here.
>drink almost an entire bottle of 6 dollar wine
The shame, and I'm not even an alcoholic.
>and I'm not even an alcoholic
Ah, classic denial.
Embrace the liquor. Become the liquor.
>buy 8 happy meals
>"haha kids having a pool party"
>go out to my car
>drive 200 feet to the stop and shop nearby
>climb into the back seat
>get into the sleeping bag
>turn on the speakers and start playing bowie
>throw all of the toys into my collection in the trunk
>eat all of the fries and then eat the burgers once they've cooled down
You people have these elabourate fantasies about what people think about you.
No one thinks about you at all. So either be comforted or terrified. People have their own goddamn lives to live. Do YOU obsess about anyone but yourself?
Once I ordered a pizza and ate it in my car, then drove to mcdonalds and got a bic mac burger, put the pizza box in the backseat. I really don't give a fuck what people think. Fuck em.
The cashier gives no fucks who you are ordering the food for, he just wants to finish his shift and go home
why even bother lying to him or explaining
Happened tonight a few hours ago
>Bringing tonight's alcohol to the cashier at CVS
>New cashier, kind of qt girl about my age
>"You must be having a party huh?"
>Look her in the eye
>She doesn't make eye contact with me again.
Actually feels kind of bad man. I should have lied and just feigned normie, but I got tired of that years ago.
At least she won't bother me any more with small talk when I'm buying my alcohol. I just want to get in and get out, don't ask how I'm doing or if I found everything okay.
I know, I'm trying to save my liver. The volume of twelve beers versus that same volume in liquor would absolutely destroy me. I can make myself stop drinking if my stomach is feeling bloating pains.
Why would you even bother to lie when buying candy. When I worked as a cashier I gave zero fucks about what people bougth.
It's like buying a fleshlight and saying: "It's for a friends birthday...haha"
Yeah, have you been to people of Wal-Mart website? Do you not see the pictures of people looking stupid circulating the internet? People do care what others are doing. They need to find the new meme to viral
I can guarantee that the cashier at the liquor store doesn't get paid enough to give a fuck how much liquor you buy or how often you buy it.
Sounds like a lot of extra work on your part for no reason other than paranoia.
Me too. I avoided some weight gain switching to booze, but after 10 years my liver is so fucked that if I wear a t-shirt my right side is noticeably bigger. If you rub the surface of it, you can feel the nodules poking up. Stick with the beer.
They are both retarded. Not a single thing funny about them. Not even a giggle at just how unfunny they are. If you come here to have someone endorse what you should or shouldn't laugh at, is still not funny. Stick with lobster cleats.
>Hate people who call complete strangers by nickname
>What can I get for you, chief?
>How's it going, boss?
>You're up next, sport
I'd prefer to gun them down in front of their wailing families. However, I began using insults while smiling
>Give me a second, knucklehead :D
I haven't figured out a better retort.
Why say anything AT ALL about what you're gonna do with what you buy, it's not really any of the cashier's business
Sure, you can make small talk if you're non-autistic want to, but it's not like it's a necessity
You don't buy condoms either and go "haha yeah, I'm gonna fuck someone with those not just make wacky balloon animals or anything"
I do this all the time. I don't give a fuck if people think I'm autistic.
It's usually faster in the drive through and my car is comfortable. Why get out and have to go inside with all the fat mothers and whiny children.
>don't be obese
>order 10 double cheese burgers
>cashier is almost impressed
Unfair really, what's looked as a mildly impressive feat of gastric stamina is looked as disgusting gluttony for fat people
>Justifying your purchases to someone that wouldn't care if you had a brain haemorrhage right in front of them by saying you're going to a special party with special rules
I would respect you more if you scraped the cheese off discarded pizza boxes.
You won't believe how many people fuck up pronunciations for everything and how we fucking laugh at them.