divorce is imminent for the cu/ck/
that was literally the most awkward exchange between husband and wife i think i've ever seen. tammy can't stand him.
She wants the cash from the videos, but can't handle the weight he's put on and his smug youtube star attitude.
Why do y'all stick your tongues out all the way when you take a bite? 3:03 and 4:03 I don't know anyone else who does that. I just think it's really really weird and I don't see any reason why there's a need to stick your tongue out all the way to eat like that. Maybe it has to do with taking too big of a bite? I mean, I don't eat that way, but I can't anyway because my tongue is so short I actually I can't stick it out of my mouth at all. But I still don't think it's normal, it is a very "interesting" way to eat.
> I don't eat that way, but I can't anyway because my tongue is so short I actually I can't stick it out of my mouth at all.
Do you have Ankyloglossia?
lmao he said they get alot of complaints about the pasta, yet they continue to make it the exact same way. imho they should just cook some pasta off and keep it in the fridge, they are probably cooking the pasta and then not letting it drain enough before adding the sauce, and baking it. fucking amateurs
That dude in the comments ain't lying. Who the hell eats like this? Ja/ck/ and his pig wife both do it. Gross.
not freeze, just make whatever your par is for the day, sheet tray it in the fridge then portion it into servings. mainly this is to save time over cooking it fresh and to avoid watery sauce.
take a portion of pasta, add the sauce and whatever and bake it off, the dry cooked pasta will absorb the sauce and youll end up with a much better product.
You could do it to order but your talking at least 10 mins to boil the pasta, plus another 10-15 of baking.
this is a pizza joint so efficiency is more important then making it fresh to order.
who else is she gonna get her belly is bigger then his.
Probably closer to $25,000-$30,000/year if he's lucky from youtube (Subtracting expenses, like ingredients, the bills at all the jack on the go restaurants, and whatever else).
His sauces do $180k in annual sales though. I don't know how much the overhead is.
Anyone have the webm of that titcow making an "enchilada" casserole thing?
>last thing you wanna do is fill your lady up on valentine's
C u c k o l d
>Don't give him anything, even when shitting on him.
That's the way to go anon!
I wish he will get raid by /b/ someday.
>that WA LA at 7:11
How have I never noticed it before
how can u fags watch this guy? he literally isnt cooking anything.
>salsa + chicken
>premade cheesecake mix
He makes me feel superior.
I'm a 30 y.o. NEET, living off cheap vodka, with leukemia but with a lot of education and culinary culture.
So I might have lost it all in life but I'm not a stupid fat fuck on youtube.
>"Cooking With Jack"
>not "Combining Premade Food With Jack"
What's the deal? I feel misled
I'm looking for one of his videos. Its one I always see pictures of, but have never seen the episode.
It's where he's cutting into a chicken and it's bloody. Pic related.
None of you are prepared for SALAD NIGHT
Frozen spinach actually contains more folates that fresh spinach unless it's VERY fresh. If it sits on a truck for a while and in your fridge you're better off using frozen.
I know that's not Ja/ck/'s rationale, but there you go.
no im from texas
ya he makes me feel the same. i like to make sauces from scratch and all that. im also not a fat fuck on youtube either.
speaking of fat fucks on youtube, i binge watch simply sara. hearing her breath while cooking makes me gag and shes a mammoth land whale but she seems like a nice lady.
>those huge chunks of jalapeno
>beef in thick chunks, not trimmed at all
one of my favorite things about jack is how often he salivates when the time comes to tasting his creations. like, he will literally slip up on his own words because of how much drool is in his mouth at that moment.
What the fuck? So with just 25k subscribers you can actually make a decent living out of the jewtubes?
Fucking A. Knowing this, I might be willing to reinvent myself into some profitable personality for my youtube channel.
Nothing like watching the King get assblasted because his chili with year old meat doesn't win a church competition
You know. In my family we do something like the tomato salad.
But it's just olive oil and balsamic vinegar DRIZZLED on slice tomatoes with mozzarella and basil and salt and pepper, not... oh god.
Thanks jack now we now what to do with our leftover stuffing this thanksgiving
>eat before you eat
>it just kills me
it's incredible hes self aware and completely oblivious of himself at the same time it's almost like his subconscious is trying to warn him but the message gets twisted 180degrees by his fat fucking stomach
>eat before you eat
>all men are pigs!
God this fat fuck is infuriating. No Jack, most men are perfectly capable of eating slowly and still enjoying conversation with their woman on Valentine's Day. Because most men aren't preoccupied recording their shitty YouTube show and doing food reviews in the middle of date night at the local dive bar
>no. I had top level ingredients
>a brisket he smoked himself (if you have seen the West Texas Investor's Club episode with him in it, you'll understand why this is awful)
why the fuck is he doing a review of a generic shitty takeaway that is probably identical to every italian takeaway in the world
Because he can't afford to go to restaurants that are actually halfway decent (and he would get kicked out of them for his sloppy behavior anyways). So he just goes to generic flyover staples like rundown pizzerias and hole in the wall burger joints and acts like he's a fucking inspector for the Michelin guide
This is also the reason he doesn't cook anything worth a damn, or even know basic fundamentals of cooking such as pan frying or stock making. His brain cannot process these tasks, or even how to begin them, so he resorts to merely combining things that others have made and passing them off as his own "from scratch" creation
I can die in peace now
I have seen the void, and it looks like Salad Night
TO BE QUITE HONEST WITH YOU FAMILY she doesn't look that bad. She looks like the stereotypical middle aged housewife whose looks and physique is starting to fade but she isn't disgusting by any means
Now Jack Pepe is another story
that second guy is MURICA personified
He defends the breadsticks at first as being warm (or at least his is), then probably 8-10 minutes later he complains that his breadstick is not warm and seems to hold that against the greasy mini mall Italian "restaurant" in some far out suburban wasteland of Tennessee.
It really is remarkable how stupid he is.
Who would win in an eat off between him and Sara?
I got you senpai
filters to senpai
He made a video of him smoking that exact brisket.
A year ago.
But what I'd like to know is why someone would order a pizza and thinks: you know what would be good with this pizza with a thick ass bready crust? More bread!
I'm triggered to be honest.
The cheese isnt even melted holy fucking kek
HAHAH oh shit what is this nigger doing
Because I've lost control of my life.
I'm gonna have a shower, but when I get back I'm gonna see if I can make any good webms out of Salad Night before I go to college.
You're a fucking idiot. The point of smoking shit for that long is so that is completely falls apart when you touch it, so it's tender. The fat was so fucking raw it was like rubber.
get the fuck out of here, jack
you mean stringy, of course
also, there's not just one correct smoked pig recipe
> pic related, dry-cured cold-smoked pork
And that is completely irrelevant because that's not what Jack was trying to do, and he didn't accomplish the goal he set out to do, which is to create pulled pork. Am I seriously talking to a Jack apologist? Holy shit
> Jack apologist
I have no skin in this game.
I now get what you're saying (he attempted a specific recipe and failed). Fine.
I just thought it was, you know, random food, wholly unremarkable. I wouldn't be scared of that. The stupid pointy knuckledusters are damned stupid tho.
Finished with like 2 minutes to go.
I like to think that most Americans don't eat like this at home when they try to "cook" instead of their usual habit of eating pre-made microwave meals and fast food.
Probably just wishful thinking though.
At least those threads are about, y'know, food, and not obese youtube "stars".
Jack cooks like an middle school kid in a cooking class. Joey filmed himself fast-food fist-fucking his face in his <strikeout>home</strikeout>, I mean car.
This thread is still aiight tho because it's hilarious. Moar.
>think jack is just some awkward middle-aged guy selling a generic bbq sauce
>later find out he choked his son until his nose started bleeding
>goes to a church with a pastor who wants to bomb every palestinian
>he hates books
>30k a year eating pre-made food and half raw chicken
that's a lot of money for what he does
Jack calls this a salad.
You know, I was feeling like shit because I had a semi-crappy week where I could have done much better but reminding myself that there are human beings like these makes me feel better.
I do not understand how anyone could make those hockey pucks and think it would be a good idea to put it online for thousands of people to see.
he has to know his show is parody.
Honestly as a fellow fatty beta this video made me feel back for Jack
>In pretty much the same situation 4 years ago
>Had a gf
>She lost weight after we started dating and became incredibly good looking while I gained weight
>I could see she was starting to resent my obesity
>try cooking for her to bring her back to my weight
>Came to her apartment one day, she was loudly fucking some other guy
>Too beta to burst in and stop it
>Decided that I could 'lure her out' with cookies
>Start baking some cookies in her kitchen
>Add lots of stuff to make them smell good
>Take them to her bedroom door
>Stand outside with the cookies in my hand thinking 'the smell will remind her why she loves me'
>literally stood outside with cookie tray for 20 minutes
>eventually crumbled the cookies into a trail across the floor into the kitchen
>left a paper note outside her door saying 'follow the crumbs to true love'
>stood in the kitchen for another 10 minutes expecting her to come through and remember me
>end up picking up the cookie crumbs and paper and leaving to eat the cookies in my car by myself
>never contacted her again
Us fatties have it bad.
Ja/ck/ is pic. rel. incarnate.
That's to let everyone know that he is a big deal on the Internet and they should respect him and his celebrity status.
How?? How does this utter failure under cook EVERYTHING? Is he such a fat fuck that he can't wait and extra 5 minutes for his food to cook properly before he slides it down his disgusting gullet?
Hell yes senpai. We should get Jack to audition for Hell's Kitchen or something. He has all the makeings of the perfect "knocked out in round one" contestant: Utterly lacking in cooking ability, massivly arrogant about his own inflated sense of skill and entitled enough to think he deserves fame.
It would be glorious.
>"The last thing you wanna do on Valentine's is fill your lady up. At least, with the dinner you're gonna be cooking..."
>That dude in the comments ain't lying. Who the hell eats like this? Ja/ck/ and his pig wife both do it. Gross.
Pigs shove their face into food, but they don't stick out their tongues like Jack. Dogs do that while drinking, to help pull the water into their mouth. Maybe why Jack and his wife do it; it could reduce arm movement while eating.
Oh wow she's looking pretty sickly, might have to put er down soon.
>>Decided that I could 'lure her out' with cookies
I wish Jack was my dad, things would be different around here
*chokes you until your nose bleeds*
*goes on a murrican Zio-Kek podcast and jokes about napalming Palestine for Jews, then discloses the fact youre a drug using loser*
His pizza isn't even that terrible.
Yeah, his dough recipe is shit, he didn't knead it properly and handled it wrong but that's probably just because there's millions of awful pizza recipes on the internets.
The ingredients apart from the honey were ok, can't really blame for falling for some shitty housewife recipe when he has no clue how to make pizza.
Best Jack dish I've seen so far.
WHY DOES HE TOTALLY CUT THE TOP OFF THE CAN OF BEANS IF HE'S JUST GOING TO DRAIN THE JUICE
WHY USE THE PORK AND BEANS IF YOU AREN'T GOING TO USE THE PORK FAT
THE MAYO ALREADY HAS VINEGAR IN IT JACKK
Sara would calmly finish her meal after ravishing it like it was the main character from one of her romance novels, and then calmly turn to Ja/ck/.
Ja/ck/'s eyes fill with fear as he becomes suddenly aware that no force, man or his false Christ, could save him from the approaching monster. Sara is not simply a cook, she is all that is incarnate of the very concept of consumption. Ja/ck/ is carelessly tossed over the table. Sara barely takes the time to remove his inedible clothing. She begins to ceremoniously stuff Ja/ck/'s mouth and ass with macaroni. We hear softly mouth breaths as her husband zooms in on Sara's hand entering Jack's abused anus.
"M'kay. Now, we're gonna need one jar of real mayonnaise." She pours thick glops of Hellman's down Ja/ck/'s gaping gullet. He begins to weep tears of beef tallow. “We're just gonna beat it, get it 'corporated.” She raises a whip of flayed Red Vines and begins to callously strike Ja/ck/'s porcine body until bloody and dripping.
“Now, one cup o' vinegar.” She pours the fluid down Ja/ck/'s many wounds, causing him to squeel in agony. “Okay – don't worry 'bout the dressing. He'll suck up the dressing.” The camera swivels as loud, whistling breaths signal her husband eagerly sodomizing Ja/ck/.
“And now we'll him to be a vegetable.” She begins to savage pop each of Ja/ck/'s vertebrae with a large 2x4 of white pine. Jack is dead, lying in a pool of his own blood. “Now, this gets so much better as it cools and the noodles soak up the dressing...”
to be honest family I think Sara is probably a wonderfully sweet lady. She's fat as fuck and makes shitty food but she seems like a genuinely nice person who's just ignorant of her shitty habits.
I just watched the church chili cook off. At the start he says "I know I'm not going to win because I don't cheat."
What kind of fucked up church is he going to? What does that even mean? Obviously his chili didn't even place.
I'm sick of people asking for source all the time too.
That's why I usually provide it along with whatever I'm posting. It's two fewer valueless posts; one asking for source and one providing it.
Guys, I want to make a webm of the Belashi video where there's a fly in his ingredients and he doesn't notice. But I can't find a good reaction clip for the horror. I need it preferably in a youtube video. I was thinking something like that curly haired guy who opens the door and panics, or that fat guy who keeps scrunching up his face. Does anyone know what I'm talking about?
I don't even know what to search for.
>what kind of fucked up church is he going to?
the kind where guys like this are the pastor
he might make $5k a year max. whenever you hear revenue youre forgetting that google gets half of that and then you have to pay income tax on the rest. unless youre getting millions of views you cant make a living. a chick that regularly gets 300-500k on her videos did a full interview on it and she makes like $35k a year after google and taxes
Jack is to the humand kind what Joey is to he animal kind.
It's a fillet knife regardless of your time spent eating at McDonald's you can fillet more than just fish homeslice