>alien race always talks about how humans think they're the only ones in the universe
>always rag on how primitive our tech and ways are
>never come down to earth to prove us wrong or help us out
>white race always talks about how africans think they're the only ones in the world
>always rag on how primitive our tech and ways are
>never come down to africa to prove us wrong or help us out
Why white people?
>helps us out
Except most of the time when they do we get a secret society scenario where they quickly see the masses are stupid and the leaders are already too powerful to displace so they end up working with them, or we get a District 9/Area 51 where we start stealing shit and chopping people up like the savage, thieving ape bastards we are, or we get the Superman scenario where they do help us but we continue being incompetent dicks now that we know we have a safety net to do so without consequence, or consequence we'll have to take care of anyway.
I was hoping your thread would point out how they fail to address their own flaws but for some reason you tried to actually disprove their accusations. Which aren't wrong, so I'm not sure where you're going here. They're not helping us because we're sort of a helpless case.
Most things on this planet are programmed for maximum easy not efficiency. If we can find a shortcut in the meantime we'll take it, so we keep getting cut short in the long term.
I always found it funny how, in fiction, Earth is the only planet that hasn't mastered inter-planetary communication and travel, and all other aliens thumb their noses at us. Hardly do humans meet aliens less technologically-advanced than they are.
Would had been cool if, in Green Lantern, after getting shit on by Sinestro and others for being from a backwater planet that's "still divided into territories, uses fossil fuels, and is splintered into thousands of languages and dialects," Hal met another new recruit from an "uncontacted planet" who says something like, "don't let them get to them. Until a gorgaunit ago, I thought space aliens were science-fiction, too. Never dreamed there'd be funny-looking things like you beyond the stars. Different planets advance at different rates, but if you ask me, civilized beings don't go around being jerks about it" or something like that but with less bad dialogue.
Actually, no, my bad dialogue would be right at home in that Green Lantern film. It should had been in there.
>turns out earth is actually a high gravity death planet
>we're weak as hell by earth standards but...
>by galactic standards we're the goddamn terminator
>our solar system is quarantined no-contact zone
>they're all terrified that we'll wreck their shit
For once I'd like to see humans as the badass aliens.
Most alien races love humans. They're considered quite the delicacy.
It is really telling when Ben fucking 10 has a more believable alien perspective on human's place in the cosmos than most of the moronic shit out there trying to make some type of moralistic point.
Know what's even more funny?
Earth is basically some random tribe on an island off the coast of Africa that's never been important, and the people there have only just discovered fire and now think they're big shit.
But most of the greatest warriors (real world analogy; armies) come from it, and everyone ends up fighting on it's behalf or to take it at some point. NOBODY has managed to take it and hold it for more than a week before the locals fuck them up.
The military group that controls more of the universe/world than anyone else, who normally only have one person from each region in their ranks?
No less than FIVE of the fuckers from that island. Five who, in a group where few live past two months, have been there for YEARS and climbed to the highest ranks alongside races who spent centuries in the group getting that far.
The guy that's a literal god, who everyone fears? Been beat more times by that group than you've lived years.
Sure, they're primitive as hell. But they achieved what they DO have fast, and they're producing gods. Gods who want to have sex with you and everyone else you know.
>sci-fi cartoon focusing on funny aliens with really basic FTL for the first season
>humans show up in the second season with Protoss tech and are capable of throwing the aliens across the room one handed
Yes, white Europeans, in their infinite benevolence, came down to Africa and North America and Oceania with the sole selfless intent of helping the aboriginals, but these savages did not cherish their gifts, and now the white population must carry this burden forevermore.
The gospel according to American middle-school history classes.
Actually, I would really like this too.
Or how we breathe oxygen, which is corrosive.
The gospel according to American schools is "And then the Europeans fucked the third world forever, and there was absolutely no benefit to their governance. And then the peaceful ethnic groups cast out the evil dictators, and created utopias from the parts left by the filthy white devil."
Thank you kindly Anon, you have my interest.
>Thousand years in the future
>Earth is uninhabitable and several large space vessels transport humans to the unknown
>It starts off as some kind of space odyssey where everyone can easily die
>As they get further away, people start manifesting powers
>It becomes people with Superman-like powers abusing their gifts and those trying to stop them
>It gets to the point where all the ships are badly damaged in a super powered civil war
>People get sucked out of holes and engulfed in explosions and flames
>They're surprised to find that they are unaffected by it all and can even breathe in space
>Suddenly the human race is a bunch of nomad Supermen
There were some really good copypastas floatin around about that. One was about how we can't seem to find life in space except for ruins and remains. Turns out our solar system is in this nebula that causes all life to go insane and kill themselves, but we've somehow survived. When we do manage to finally contact alien life, it turns out that this nebula is a quarantine zone.
Another one was a bit less bleak, describing how Earth is the only planet with life that produces adrenaline. It's from the perspective of an alien mercenary, who notes that humans are the most savage species on the battlefield when pushed to it.
One of the better HUMANITYFUCKYEAH stories is a race of aliens who were granted the gift of civilization by "angels" from the stars who saved them from destroying their own race with "dark magic" weapons (atomic weapons left on the planet by humans during a war, the radiation from which mutated the narrator race from animals). They pray and learn science so they can join their fathers and mothers in the sky.
In another story, humans reach the stars super-fucking late due to our dark ages. Our first contact is with rat men who sell us the shittiest, common knowledge for our mined precious minerals. Then one day the rat men get attacked by cultist zealot aliens who intend to wipe them out. Humanity unites and swoops in with the biggest fleet in the universe, which nobody knew we had, which was centuries ahead of everyone else, which humans developed using what we were given as a basis, and saved the rat men allies then formed a universal UN with the former rat-Gypsies as leaders. The rat men are both awed and terrified by us.
Another one, mantis people who are basically Imperialist Japanese wage holy war against mankind. The narrator mentions the day that the humans broke the mantis fleet and invaded, and he was a small child at the time who was prepared to die for his race. His toddler-charge at the soldiers was rewarded with food and supplies, more than his village had ever seen at once. As an old man, his children live better than the royals did and "humanity" now includes his race.
There's also the story of the ancient race that studied man's development, and seeing how ancient humans warred with each other they fired a ray that was due to wipe us out. But we advanced so fast and reached the stars it only destroyed Earth. The race received a single message back, faster than they knew energy could travel; "We are coming for you".
>humans are number 1 and are also not dicks about it
There's a long copypasta about a race discovering an ancient race that was born out of the beginnings of time, almost as old (by that point in scale) as the universe itself, that had transcended this dimension and become beings of pure energy existing as constants across all levels of existence. They finally discovered Earth's moon and this, their only clue to what we once were.
>humans are invaded by aliens >It turns out the aliens were actually invaded by the humans in the future, and came back in time to destroy Earth before it became an interplanetary race >the very invasion meant to stop them is responsible for the accelerated development of the humans' technology
Because Stupid aliens don't know our culture, Our religion, Our way of life, And rather insults us like a bunch of stupid chimps. I could say Imagine having monkeys building their own city and we made fun of them because they got low tech. But, We understands them because they are AT least trying to be civil.
Fun tip: Rocket raccoon came from a species that eat our garbage
I think, of all things, the Warhammer 40,000 universe has the most realistic depiction of humanity in the far future. Individually they're scared and weak. In a group, they're also scared and weak, but still pretty capable and successful - but only just.
>the Warhammer 40,000 universe has the most realistic
Nope. The whole point of 40k is to take things over the top. If a portrayal is "realistic", then it's failed; at most it should be similar.
>implying seeing the consequences of their technology doesn't make the humans double down on the niceness
>implying they haven't ALREADY started benevolent relations with the galaxy by reforming Vorkken and being super best friends with Chewgi
I had an idea for a Superman story that sounds like one of those '90s Elseworlds' or something.
>Lex Luthor turns Kryptonite a source of energy, and makes it Earth's dominant energy source through political lobbying to heavily subsidize it and defund research into alternative fuels to make it the cheapest and most convenient
>There's no law against Kryptonite, so Luthor is able to drive Superman away from Earth merely by the Kryptonite generators built all over the planet, that make the entire globe uninhabitable for Superman.
>Luthor becomes president of the U.S., at later, leader of the entire planet
>Though the generators don't affect humans to the same extent that they affect Kryptonians, over a long time, they can cause cancer in humans. Luthor covers up all research that suggests this. The generators are built around low-income neighborhoods, so only the poor are exposed to its toxic effects
>Under Luthor's reign, Earth becomes a galactic empire, conquering other planets and plundering their resources; a force to be reckoned with throughout the stars, like Warworld or the Khund or the Dominators.
>Superman, since leaving Earth, has found purpose in becoming the defender of another planet, less advanced than Earth.
>When Earth comes to conquer that planet, Superman is forced to fight against the world he once protected and still loves.
These are all awful stories which rely on accenting the worst of human behavior.
The best HFY stories are the one where we're in a galactic insanity zone and deal with it by being slightly insane, the one where we leave a plaque on a moon to let the life on the planet know they aren't alone, and the one where the sun explodes and we fly away with rocket technology.
THE EDGE! THE EDGE! MY GOD, THE EDGE!
IT'S TOO POWERFUL! EVERYONE GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN, IT'LL KILL US ALL!
... I'll stay behind, keep it back... to make sure that doesn't happen. JUST GO!!!
>Tell my parents that... I love them.
>tfw Wonder Red is the hero the universe deserves
>Not a countries composed of dozens of different countries
It's pretty ignorant and stupid to that. A civilization should achieve it's own progression. Look at some African countries, they still believe and follow thousand year old religion and tradition with weapons from the 21st century. It would be like giving the Romans nukes and saying, "play nice guise"
Because might makes right, you biological parasites! All shall kneel before me and know my power.
...Decepticons, transform and rise up!
My personal headcanon is that the trait that humans have that is not tied inexorably to the mechanics which give rise to cosmic intellect is persistence. Understanding and manipulation of self breeds all sorts of things like treachery and bigotry, but what we evolved uniquely as is endurance hunters. Hunters who kill prey by outlasting them, tracking and chasing them until they run out of the strength to run any more. So much of our physical form and psyche is dedicated to this most primal of tasks.
And so in the extraterrestrial flick that I have will never write, humans are pondered at for their holding of grudges, their dedication to impractical beliefs, and their aversion to swaying as the situation demands.
Humanity fuck yeah thread it is.
Rather than a story of a human save other alien's world, or an alien saving the human's world. How about a story of a human and alien working together to save a world in other universe? Both characters came to that universe for the same reasons and decided to team up, seeing as they both share the same cause. What do you think /co/?
That's the point. The aliens were awed that when we saw our sun starting to die, we built space-arcs and left and hoped for the best, despite being too far away from the nearest habitable planet to make it.
>Incoming human on human conflict
Let's get this shit started.
>tfw Blue gets over his hatred of Aliens
>Red reforms Vorkken
>the Wonderful 101 bring peace to the galaxy
>the worlds the Guyzoch terrorize are saved
>news report in the epilogue confirms that Earth is in contact with interplanetary races on friendly terms
>GEATHJERK succeeded in their plans of stopping the Greater Galactic Imperium even though they perished by inspiring Red and Luca to stop them from giving into corruption and power
>Awed by incompetence
Bruv, you're talking about the equivalent of watching a bloke get on an electric scooter in the middle of the Sahara desert hoping to get to food, water or civilization.
Just read a quick summary of it. I can see how they are similar, but his is more of a "fuck humans I'm out" thing, whereas mine is more of a "I know humans are good, but they are being manipulated to do evil" thing.
But they're superior, so that would be stupid. Do you help ants climb shit? An alien race thousands of years ahead technology wise would feel the same. It would be a waste of our time.
>every planet ever was a single global nation that never had any sort of conflicts, different tribes, languages or cultures and just got along swimmingly steadily progressing toward a utopian society
>Earth is somehow the odd one out, and it's inconceivable to every other planet there was any sort of infighting over resources or anything like that
Lockdown: Every galaxy I have traveled, all you species are the same. You all think you're the center of the universe. You have no idea...
I bet they hear some hellish slave song playing while that's going on.
>The fire from thin air! The Colossal Demon is coming...
>He is a blight on our way of life! We should band with the other colonies and devour him!
>But has it not saved us from certain death?
>Devil worshipper! The queen will hear of this! Your family shall starve for your heresy!
And then they tear the little sympathizer's head off.
Good sci-fi always has those alien species that are just as divided and corrosive and varied as we are.
It happens too often in science and fantasy wehere humans are the only wildly adaptive, super varied, highly independent, chaotic and crazy folk. Elves are always united in their cliques, and have at best 3-4 off shoots, dwarves are dwarves are dwarves, and never change, and every species is always this monothemed biology/culture shtick, and even worse, they have united under one banner. This is specially worse in sci-fi where an entire species is led by ONE government.
How the fuck is that even possible.
The trope that always grates on me is the 'humans are so primitive' reaction protagonists get yet alien culture is still analogous to our own. In that animated Green Lantern origin OVA a few years ago Sinestro pulls that shit yet right after that they go to a seedy alien bar to shakedown an informant just like a typical cop story.
Write them as ALIENS or write them as humans with brightly colored skin & ray guns. Pick one.
>never gonna happen
Starship Troopers music.
So much bliss.
Problem, failure of a son?
Don't forget; original concept was Amurrican space Minutemen and blue cat druids using magitek to fight fascist government ruled by megacorps pretending to be a democracy.
Then they chopped everything that took time away from the blue cat druids, leaving only vaguely bad corporation against the communist tribal blue cats and a few turncoats who wanna be hippie furries.
Well its almost always a peaceful race bringing it up, a if its so rare that any race should be violent.
Worse, its constantly implied the only mankind fought against its own species. With the Romulons somehow not counting when it comes to their wars with the Vulkans.
Except for the first one I remember all of those.
I remember another one where some extra dimensional aliens decided we spread too much. So they fuck up some fleet, I think, and taunt us by saying us throwing rocks at them isn't going to do shit. Eventually we end up throwing the Earth at them saying we think it's a big enough rock and it some how cuts them off from our reality completely.
What was that short story about aliens invading but they use muskets because antigravity and FTL are normally discovered during the age of sailing so most species just stop developing but for some reason humans never stumbled upon it?
Based Peter Gillis wrote a great Dr. Strange arc where an alien magic user comes to earth looking to be the Sorcerer Supreme.
We have serious problems with each other with due to skin color or ideology. One religions will schism over shit and we'll kill each other over. If they know Human history, they know to leave us alone.
Unless they're doing a white man's burden type thing where they're actually just trying to exploit us as a labor source or take our shit, in which case our superheroes will repel them.
They're no reason for them to help us unless their is an ulterior motive
>Wonder Yellow is just carefully pressing the button
Ha, I never noticed that.
I remember this one, I'm not sure if story would be the right word. It was more like a warning and information about Humanity from some I think insect like alien species. Shit like "Warning: Humans have no biological caste system. Farmers will take up arms, soldiers will start growing food" etc.
There was this one Marvel comic where some of the universe's worst/best mercenaries chickened out once they heard they were being sent to Earth. Said the employer did not have enough money to pit them against those horrors.
>but I keep hearing how awful it is and I'm scared
It isnt bad just really cliche and you know where the movie is going as soon as the plot kicks in. Other than that I only hear put down on here and other online places which you should know by now should always be taken with a grain of salt.
It's got some decent mindless action but the story and it's themes are pure hippie bullshit and the final battle is infuriating. That guy goes full derp so the cats can bullshit a total win.
Tribal behavior to weed out the weak. Life trials, ritual skirmish, and so on.
Not self-genocide. Not war waged to keep a resource for a single group within the race. They have cultural unity.
I hate to quote TVTropes, but it's appropriate considering; the human "hat" is that we're factional. We have identities that are much smaller than the greater group, which on one hand encourages more diverse thinking and behavior ("we'll all go different ways, at least one of us will get there") but on the other hand we're our own worst enemy.
Not even full hippie. It's full communistic conservative, in the sense that anything new is bad and by surrendering the self you gain the benefits of the whole.
Like Hindu Amish.
But that's where I first heard it. Plus, I wouldn't give too many people credit for knowing it before TVTropes, just like how I imagine most people heard "Mary Sue" and "redshirt" before learning it came from the Trek as well.
True. Then, as long as you're paragon Shep, you prove humanity has bigger balls than them and possibly put up with the chafing to drain the balls of one.
Speaking of, that was a great porn comic. Good romance and still sexy.
Are you fucking kidding me?
The Objectively best HFY story is the one where Humanity meets a bunch of Space Dragons who everyone hates because they're an aggresive Carnivore species and we befriend them, give them Venus and become so engrained together that both species become the bleeding edge of technology through mutual respect and trust. Because we saw space dragons and thought
"I'm gonna befriend the fuck out of that"
>but I keep hearing how awful it is and I'm scared
You need to stop getting your information from internet forums my friend.
And yes I know how ironic this is since I'm delivering this advice to you through an internet forum.
Actually it avoids that alot. considering they're crystal space dragons.
It more plays upon that inner child like whimsy Humanity can still harness.
I hate HFY that makes us out to be the warmongers, the destroyers or the hyper-survivors.
ITT: People making shit up to strawman people with opposing views.
Random idea to throw on the HFY pile:
Humans are unique for what we simply call nonverbal communication. Other species are far more straightforward in how they interact with each other and can't pick up subtle things like body language or even subtle scene cues (which humans do pick up even if you don't notice it). Makes humans look psychic to the other races, and even simple street charlatan tricks that rely on reading others in the manner become exceptionally powerful tools.
That would make no sense since pretty much all mammals on Earth also have nonverbal communication. Teeth bared, position of tail, puffing up/out, hackles raised, position of ears, etc. Even invertebrates have body language.
No, it's not. The concept in Green Lantern is all those other planets started as fractured as us but their culture evolved until they had a united one-world gov't.
Earth is just the only planet that hasn't done the same yet that has a GL.
Well that's great and all but that means the aliens would be baffled with confusion by so much as a dog barking when they get threateningly close to its owner who appears frightened if it didn't clearly state in their native language the reason behind it.
Using Tony as an example of primitive humans is actually a pretty terrible example. As in most comics his armour seems to be shown as for more powerful then most alien technology.
I mean even Rocket talking down to him in that picture makes no sense. Rocket usually just has a big gun, Tony has a super strong power suit that comes out of his skin.
I agree that it makes no sense that Tony has all this shit while most super advanced alien races are show to just run around with guns but thats comics for you.
1.Tony's the perfect example because he's our cutting edge, if he's not there yet we're even further. It gives contrast to just how little we're doing with all we have. Not due to difficult, but due to not trying. Stark is considered a "genius" but he's really just doing all he can with the obvious resources available. Doom and others have proven the same can be done for people with far less wealth. It's all in front of us.
2. To assume him routinely running into primitive tech makes his by default high tech, or that the primitive tech mooks are using makes up the majority of their species' advances and achievements would be like assuming the Glock is the height of our weapons development. We've well and exceeded the use of hand grenades.
3. Tony's been downgraded, so that's not his best stuff on the table, and Rocket doesn't need a high tech portable suit because he has resources from around the universe not easily accessed through an exoskeleton.
Also so much as the Skrulls laughed and managed to hack Stark's tech. He is by no means untouchable, in fact it's readily apparent given the various discoveries made every 5 seconds about their universe that he is running on constantly outdated blueprints everyday. Suped up outdated blueprints, but still outdated.
Stark looks impressed because he's someone always looking for better, I can't believe I'm saying this for Bendis but it fits his character to be willing to be surprised by new things than to willfully remain ignorant and say "no big deal". He sees the potential.
Rocket sort of applauds Stark for working with barebones Earth stuff and still getting the job done in the first place. It shows resourcefulness.
Also Bendis actually accidentally makes a point. Rust and deforming from hypersonic speeds is a very big problem for us. We are barely living. A magic metal sowing machine would be great on saving time and resources.
>Also so much as the Skrulls laughed and managed to hack Stark's tech.
And yet the average Skrull doesnt have weapons technology thats half as effective as an Iron Man Suit, or the Kree or pretty much any "advanced" alien race.
Its the problem with making Iron Mans purely human techology so advanced. Logically all the more advanced races should be flying around in super iron man suits but that would ruin all these characters.
I thought Mary Sue came from a harry potter fanfic. At least the name. We all know that the original Mary Sue, at least the first overly known was, was Wesley Crusher. Who is pretty much the opposite of "Humanity, fuck yeah!"
>We all know that the original Mary Sue, at least the first overly known was, was Wesley Crusher
No. "Mary Sue" is a term that only relates to fanfiction -- any application of that term to any canon character is wrong, stupid, and misplaced. Use a better term or get off the Internet.
Mass Effect is more /v/ than /co/, but it had artificially advanced people in the Krogan. They were more backward than people but such a utility on the battlefield that the other races gave them absurdly advanced technology. The Krogan homeworld was in a nuclear winter within decades of getting the tech.
>American always talk about how North Koreans think they are the only ones in the universe.
>Always rag on how primitive their tech and ways are.
>Never go there to prove them wrong or help them out.
And you know what's funny? There's also a conspiracy in North Korea to keep everyone ignorant of the outside world.
Earth is Space North Korea.
You don't say....
I was talking in the context of fiction though. Not that there is an IRL conspiracy.
>"Advanced" Literature course in high school.
>Read one white author, Melville.
>Every single other book was written by some black person.
>All books were about slavery, Africa, intolerance, and hatred.
>Test questions included your "personal feelings" about race relations as they were presented in the books.
I made everything up and passed with an "A".
>bragging about high school achievements
Also yeah most "advanced literature courses" in white people land don't teach what is considered "advanced" so much as what is considered "alternative". Which is weird because so many of those courses have Beloved on them, which has been mainstream as fuck for decades.
That was on there, yeah.
And I wasn't bragging so much as I was corroborating the other anon's claim that American education teaches with an agenda in mind.
What's funny is the shit I made up about the books, Heart of Darkness, Beloved, The Color Purple, whatever, was blatantly wrong. Like, you would have to deliberately misread everything in the book to honestly come up with the answers I shit out in passing.
The teacher loved it. Ate it up and called it "bold".
It was Heart of Darkness, Beloved, Things Fall Apart, The Color Purple, and the one about the black dude who lived under the streets with a bunch of light bulbs on the ceiling. Can't remember.
Hey asshole. I'm a hard-working woman and could use a helping hand every now and then. Some kid dropped their reeses a good 5 feet away from our home and did you pick it up and place it closer so we could take a break? No.
When Sarah-Joe asked politely if you could help out you walked away! Pretending like you didn't even hear her!
Does anyone have that /tg/ story of aliens enclosing Earth and the entire solar system in an anti-magic field because they saw all the crazy shit human were capable of doing with it?
Then warp drives that didn't need magic were developed and humans got out of the field and all hell broke lose.