/bdsmg/ -- BDSM & D/s General No. 214
BDSM discussion, stories, questions, random fantasies, just keep it polite and civil.
Fetlife Group -> https://fetlife.com/groups/66560
irc channel: irc.irchighway.net , #bdsmg
Starter Question: How has BDSM changed your life for the better, directly or indirectly?
When I was in college I was involved pretty heavily with the local kink group, but since I graduated 3 months ago and moved back with my parents and gotten a job and all that, I feel I don't have any time to go to munches or whatever. In addition, I can't exactly hold my anal plugs or rope stuff in my room because my parents snoop about.
Any ideas on what to do between now and when I get my own place again? Male bi switch here btw.
To answer the starter question myself... well, it's helped in so many ways!
BDSM and specifically my involvement here has been a huge source of healing for me, and helped me get over a lot of things that I wasn't certain I'd ever get past.
BDSM also led me to Mistress, as well as all of my friends. As well as given me an avenue to be social without feeling unsafe. (Yes, I am crazy and that's not a real thing. I know. But in my head or not, that's how it is.) It's even provided me with a community that it's not unsafe to express myself and be honest about who I am in! Because of these things, I'd even say that being exposed to BDSM as an influence, my personality has changed a fair bit for the better.
You know, I really think this is a misconception. Being a male sub online is probably suffering. But male subs have been the smallest demographic at the munches I've been to, and I've heard many others say the same. So, I'm starting to think it's more likely that male subs feel like they'll be shunned if they attend events, or for some other hang ups don't, and so there's a lot of unpaired malesubs online who are mixed in with the crowd of less than favorable people who are also found online, and find it very difficult to find a partner.
... But that's just my own observation.
I'm too socially retarded to attend real BDSM meeting, especially since I'm not in US and I know the meta around here.
>arrogant doms, even more with females
>mostly adult or even 50+
Anyway, time for blogpost
>some femdom likes my fic on FL
>message her, because why the hell not
>we start talking very naturally
>this continues, messages every day, I write fics for her
>she tells me how great I am, how good I'd be as a sub, nothing but nice stuff
>she's ten years older, has a husband and cheats him with another sub
As I said, suffering.
Those problems that you just laid out effect everyone though. Even Dom/mes.
People being older, or cheating on others for example is a problem that anyone can encounter. Even mental health issues causing it to be difficult to attend in the first place. There's a Dom who posts here occasionally that has a great deal of experience in that regard.
As far as not living in the US, so far we haven't found anyone to my knowledge that actually didn't have a munch near them once they looked at places like findamunch.com.
But even if that is the case, if it's important to you, find a way to attend one that's further out. Or for that matter, get involved in an online community. Like, actually involved involved. Not just joining, and hoping to be seen but actually taking part in discussion regularly. I know several people who've met partners that way.
You're not going to have much luck randomly messaging people on FL, unfortunately. I know that's lame, because I've been single and having things prevent me from really being social too. But that's how it is.
It has to be reasonably possible at least for a partner to find you.
>As far as not living in the US, so far we haven't found anyone to my knowledge that actually didn't have a munch near them once they looked at places like findamunch.com.
>But even if that is the case, if it's important to you, find a way to attend one that's further out. Or for that matter, get involved in an online community. Like, actually involved involved. Not just joining, and hoping to be seen but actually taking part in discussion regularly. I know several people who've met partners that way.
Oh, fuck no. Believe me, I tried being a part of this community, the Polish community. The main BDSM forum was closed because of how hostile the people were to each other. The Femdom forum is literally feminism and beta males trying to suck up. To be honest, the woman I was talking to found me through this posts, but it's too much of a mental risk to go through it again.
Maybe I have an idealized idea of BDSM, but some of the people around me are actually fucked in the head, it's scary.
>You're not going to have much luck randomly messaging people on FL
Actually I've met one girl this way, but yeah, it's really luck-based.
I wouldn't mind joining a community, but I'd like a community that's not rotten to the core.
Well... I can't comment on any of them, because I don't know them. But, if you want to join a community there is always this one. /Bdsmg/ is a wonderful place. This thread has done a lot of good for me! I can't really attend there anymore for various reasons, but the irc is also a place I'd suggest to anyone looking for a good bdsm community. Everyone is really kind, and welcoming, and protective, even though it's not always the most active place.
(spoilers)I've never used IRC(/spoilers)
Well, I am here. For now.
Anyway, it's weird talking about it on /d/, when there's not enough artists that pander well to my fetish. So poorly that I don't even have a picture.
You can't say something like that and then not tell us what it is so we can look. D=
I'd never used IRC either before this one, but it's really not that hard!~ You can do it anon!
High heels? That's easy anon! There are lots of pictures with high heels!
Hmmm.... I guess I'll have to try harder then! <3
You can have this, and I'm going to go on a hunt. If I find anything BDSM relevant I'll bring it back!
Wokada is the god of heels.
I suggest the high_heels tag on Danbooru and Gelbooru for many many things that aren't BDSM related while still being cute heels! But, I've brought back a couple things that were relevant. Though, not being you I suppose I'm not 100% sure what I'm looking for! Still! Here we go! <3
That's about all I found, where there were heels in the picture fully and it was BDSM related and the heels were more detailed than a solid flat color or anything!
Yeah, I track these tags, but relate that to a feet fetish.
Feet in a feet thread and extremely detailed, aren't they? And they're the center of the whole picture.
Things on gelbooru's tag are just "hey, this girl wears heels". Not a lot of artists actually give a damn when drawing boots, because it's really hard.
I can kinda see your point.
Must be hard to wade through all those pictures to find exactly what you're looking for!
On my. Gathered up courage to post finally but sorry I don't have any porn to share.
To answer the starter question(which gave me the courage to share in the first place) bdsm changed my life for the better in so many ways. I've always wanted a D/s relationship hopefully working into a more hardcore commitment like 24/7 if I was so lucky to find someone willing to do that with me. I went through a rough patch with current boyfriend and turned a hurtful unexpected situation into what I see is our last chance at a relationship together. I want to be trained properly and he wants to become a knowledgeable Dom so it works out in our favor. I've never been this happy since we've started. *blush* I do like having a master I can make happy, I'm smiling all the time when we're together and I feel like there's just something that makes me feel whole. I love the special relationship between master and pet and hope that I can grow into a proper sub. I'm not just doing this for someone else I am doing this for myself as well. There's just so many cutesy feels I feel when he acts all dominant and sure of himself. Explaining how I feel is hard, its weird but I feel all cuddly inside, so directly and indirectly and its awesome~ if this is making any sense....
Mistress is an artist and we get a lot of our income through her commissions. So, I super recommend it! Haha. Feed an artist, get a commission! <3
But really, it's lame that there isn't more around.
No need to apologize for no porn. Content is content! Conversation is content, stories are content, and well... yeah!
BDSM really is wonderful <3. I'm glad it's been such a positive influence on you and your relationship! Thanks for sharing!
I really hope it goes well for you if you decide to order!
I'm one of those who managed to fuck up everything and bit more growing up. When I think about it now, I might've been looking for a dominant even back then, but failed miserably, ended up in several abusive relationships, got hurt more every time, and eventually lost all that made me a person. Dark times caused by getting involved in bdsm too young, and even when I knew all the safety systems, I just didn't care.
But bdsm also gave me sir, who I happily belong to, and he helped me to gain back some of the time I lost. At this point, I've reached a point where I can say without lying that I'm worth something and a human being. I spent too many years living as a doormat and forgot to actually form my own opinions and personality. We're working on that. Maybe one day. While bdsm has never brought me any friends, online communities have been a place where I've been able to talk about us without a need to hide and cover the facts. Perhaps one day I'm could form meaningful relationships with others, actually make friends, and to actually learn to say 'no' when I want.
tl:dr bdsm fucked me up, but it's also been a great help undoing the damage
>when talking with the friend, pretend it didn't happen unless the friend brings it up, i would say
Again, good idea. Something odd: unless I was either hallucinating or heavily mistaken, I the friend in question was wearing a vibe/plug to class.
>i still was wanting to actually get you to weigh in on any/all of my stories i've put up just to get some more structured criticism as opposed to 'i don't like that specific fetish' criticism.
Just as long as you're okay with me pointing out everything I see as "wrong", "poorly written" or otherwise "bad" with your work, and can understand that I am subjective and a meanie, then I'd love to.
>How has BDSM changed your life for the better, directly or indirectly?
I actually enjoy fistfights now. I like power dynamics. I'm more attuned to noticing kink in literature of the past.
>How has BDSM positively affected your life, directly or indirectly?
Where do I start? I was incredibly depressed for a time in my life. My girlfriend at the time confided in me that she was in to BDSM, thinking that getting a secret out of my system would help. Well, instead I pulled a total dick move and started distancing myself from her and we broke up soon after. She did, however, give me some info on a local kink group should I change my mind.
For a while I was alone with my sorrows, but eventually my best friend very bluntly told me to get out and do something instead of sitting on my ass all day. Didn't matter what.
So, I looked up the local kink group, went out to a munch and and met someone there. We even went on a few dates.
After a while, she then mentioned the kink group and I said I'd never had any experience with kink before.
She said she'd be happy to walk me through it.
I had my preconceived notions about S&M fetishists (most of them wrong) but I went with it anyway.
Long story short (too late), I woke up the next morning feeling better than I had in a long time.
Ironically, those moments being tied up and blindfolded were what made me feel so liberated.
Maybe it helped me realize who I am, maybe it led me on a trip of self-discovery, maybe it helped me forget my troubles if only for a while.
But I really don't care why, I just care that it happened.
BDSM helped me in ways I never thought it could. And it even has helped me make sure of who I can really trust, be they my Mistress or just a friend I confide in.
for the anon who likes shoes, I'll post some. Not sure if you'll like em, but oh well!
>How has BDSM changed your life for the better, directly or indirectly?
It hasn't and I distance myself from such people/groups now due to sadly typical mild to extreme pathologies, dependency issues, and extreme group identity that most SJW type groups tend to foster. Instances of which are often found in these threads when some one points such things out or otherwise says something contrary to the going group think.
Well anon, since you're obviously new to the world that's how just about every average human being is, and if you let that distance you from things that can be good, well, good riddance. Being bitter about something, especially something so common and typical and well, human, is really just immature. It will never go away, and you shouldn't let your bitterness control you.
Thank you for proving my point. Also, neurological disorders are not "typical" in humans. Hence them being called disorders.
>knowing something is bad for you/others is now letting it control you.
>Instances of which are often found in these threads when some one points such things out or otherwise says something contrary to the going group think.
But anon, such a phenomenon is extremely common in all groups. What's wrong with having a group identity?
While I am aware that there are certain idiotic common ideas in certain circles of BDSM, that doesn't indict the Scene as a whole.
Contrary to group think in what way? We've got our hands absolutely full of people with various states of mental health, and different ways of thinking. You're anon so it can't reflect badly on you regardless of what you say. So, speak your mind! What disorders in particular do you think would disqualify from fitting in, or otherwise ostracise you in a group like this?
I think you'll be surprised at the variety of people who make this place home.
Well, you're just proving how ridiculous you are being. And a humans ability to be a sheep is very typical.
I never disagreed with it being bad for you, hence, the it COULD be good, not necessarily IS good. Whether something is good or not is wholly dependent on how it's used.
But anon, if you're going to be this ridiculous, I think the problem might be you and not necessarily the things you stated.
>omg u disagreed with me u have group mentality
>it can't be an actual opinion based upon what someone earnestly thinks, since it disagrees with mine
Group identity is a great thing I love it and wish more people had it in different areas of their life (such as nationalism). Group think is not.
I have been in these threads since before they were numbered. I only stop by now when something catches my eye such as the example of begging the question found in the OP. As to your question, it is not any disorder that I may or may not have, it is that I do not like to pander to people with them or enabling behaviors in general. I also cannot stand SJW types for a multitude of reasons (some listed) and they tend to flock the BDSM scene.
You attacked my blunt and neutral post and otherwise disparaged me and my thought on the matter while also attributing to it being ridiculous despite it being as far from it as possible. Please reread what I have typed and think on how your posts fall directly into the box I have laid out.
I said how your action appeared was immature, and that's the closest to an insult there was. I said bitter because your post, which was a reflection of your perspective, was, well, bitter and bleak. IN MY OPINION. It's on you for taking things so personally (because apparently I attacked and disparaged your sensitive ass). And I didn't have a problem with your thought, if you were to actually read my last post, I said I AGREED with you, I just said my opinion with it. Congratulations, you are an asshat. Or being one. Either way, now you can say I insulted you, because all you did was look for ways to invalidate my opinion, which says a lot. It shows you got all butthurt and I must of hit a nerve with my accuracy. kbye.
Well, I'm sorry you feel that way. If that's the way you see us I really have no means of changing your mind. So, instead, I hope you enjoy the porn, if nothing else.
>It's on you for taking things so personally
I did not take anything personally. I have pointed out how you have fallen into exactly what I was speaking about.
>since you're obviously new to the world
>let your bitterness
>how ridiculous you
>because apparently I attacked and disparaged your sensitive ass
>Congratulations, you are an asshat. Or being one.
I could and did say you were attacking me and my position from my initial response to you. Pointing this out and how it relates to the point seems perfectly acceptable and relevant to the discussion at hand. However, I would refrain from drawing such thin conclusions ( >It shows you got all butthurt and I must of hit a nerve with my accuracy ) in the future as, ironically, it shows more about you than I. That it also further relates to my point in a manor that is good for said point... well... you get the idea.
>invalidate my opinion
Opinions contrary to facts are not opinions but falsehood or lies.
No reason to be. It appears you and Lost Sub have mellowed a bit in the past years. Also, it is always difficult to changes the minds of people who
a) depend on something
b) have arrived at their conclusions though much experience, information, thought, and reflection.
The porn is one of the few things that brings anyone to /d/.
But you know these things.
>I do not like to pander to people with them or enabling behaviors in general
You're sounding awfully /pol/ there, friend.
I'm sorry, please explain your position again. If I have interpreted it correctly, you perceive certain (unstated) widely-held opinions as "groupthink", and there are a large number of possibly phantom SJWs and this is why you don't like the community, two things that could easily be either ignored or avoided.
To be honest, my experience of SJWs with regard to kink are people screaming that D/s is abuse and impact play should be illegal and NO YOU CAN'T BE A SUB THAT'S NOT FEMINIST NO YOU CAN'T BE A DOM THAT MEANS OBJECTIFYING YOURSELF. MALE SUBS ARE FAGGOTS MALE DOMS ARE OPRESSORS. I've not met kinky SJWs. Yet.
>The porn is one of the few things that brings anyone to /d/
That's a barren statement. People go to /lit/ to talk about books. People go to /tg/ to discuss traditional games.
Hey guys, long time lurker just wanting to ask about bondage mitts. Wondering if anyone knows any affordable (uni student here) ones that will still hold up for a while - that or a set I can aim towards when I get the money. I've seen some cheap ones but I'm apprehensive as they don't seem to be that well made.
Well, I'm sure there's a tutorial out there. Leather is fairly cheap in the small amount you'll need, and the tools should come to under $30. So you're looking at $30-$50 if you're willing to learn a skill and invest time. If your school has leatherworking facilities, it'll cost you less than $20.
if love can be an important enough factor for you to go to the effort and risk of moving, online communities can work well.LDR's definitely have their pitfalls, but it is possible to make them work and reach a point where it can become a meatspace relationship.
you are, and remain, adorable.
a silly but effective one is get cheap mittens when someplace is clearing out their winter gear, normal ones, then wrap them in duct tape.
Ah, duct tape.
If it's a practical problem that can't be solved with duct tape, it's a problem not worth solving!
Shame it never seems to last as long as you want it to, though. Or is that just me?
>It appears you and Lost Sub have mellowed a bit in the past years
>in the past years
Do we have a stalker on our hands?
Do you normally ascribe "must be /pol/" to comments on psychology you dislike?
>you perceive certain (unstated) widely-held opinions as "groupthink"
Ignoring the dismissive language, I have seen the various BDSM groups in various areas that I have visited and lived in as having a great deal of groupthink.
>there are a large number of possibly phantom SJWs
Again, ignoring the dismissive language, I pose a question. Who largely organized (or helped) and participated in the slut walks in your area?
>two things that could easily be either ignored or avoided
By their very nature these things cannot be ignored or avoided if one wants to be part of said group, even in a very peripheral fashion.
>my experience of SJWs with regard to kink...
Some of them do that too. SJW is a blanket terminology that describes, most typically, an attitude and way of operation with regards to what they see as injustice. It is not an implication that they are all united in what they consider injustice.
I retract my statement about you having mellowed. Although, at this point in time you are more subtle.
>people make "identities" on an anonymous image board
>some people have good memories
That's an interesting conclusion you have jumped to. Why?
I'd say it's probably still ongoing for me. Some of the friendships and support I've found here have helped me start putting myself out more and accept who I am a bit better, but it's still a work in progress.
Honestly, though, this is a pretty big factor. Misconception or not, it's very common and easy for a lot of us male subs to believe we'll be shunned in kink. For one thing, we're usually shunned and put down to begin with by social norms regarding gender role. When it's plain as day the majority doesn't see you as normal, it can be hard to believe anyone would accept you (something more than just male subs can probably relate to.) Granted, this is usually a misconception, and most groups are accepting, but acceptance and being desired are still two different things.
I'm sure it's different in every area, but Male Dom/female sub is still definitely the norm in mine at both events and munches. As a male sub, this means going to events and such can also mean facing extra insecurities and anxieties, because you are the minority, and you end up watching all the Doms pursue the female subs (unless they happen to be gay--which doesn't help if you're a malesub who isn't comfortably bi or gay), and there's a much, much smaller pool of prospects. That can be and is intimidating.
Also, even just comparing subs, there's still often social expectations that the male sub will initiate more than a female sub.
I agree with you though, it's something we have to barrel through irregardless. We're never going to find anyone if don't even try, after all.
What I genuinely wonder though, is what's the other side of the coin like? Do many women face similar issues with social norms when they want to come out as dominant?
Because you have been lurking these threads for years, despite the fact that you apparently think BDSM is a form of mental sickness?
Also, it's pretty obvious that your ideology is at least influenced by /pol/. Moreso, /pol/acks love using "muh /pol/ boogeyman" as a deflection, so I'm pretty sure you are a regular on that board.
>Because you have been lurking these threads for years
Hardly. Being active in the early days of them only view and join in them rarely thereafter isn't what I would call lurking for years.
>the fact that you apparently think BDSM is a form of mental sickness?
Where did I state this? I said many who participate in it have neuropathologies of some sort.
As to the rest, given your either lack of understanding and/or comprehension of what I have stated and attempt to put words in my mouth it isn't surprising that you would also attribute such things to my statements. However, you should look at them more closely and not ascribe what you want something to be to it and see it for what it is.
Is everything someone says dismissive to you? Especially things that relate to shit you already said?
Well, someone's either a hypocrite, or attempting to ignore the rhetorical, but either way it shows you're just finding ways to argue, that don't exactly make sense. At least for anyone with common sense, but I think we already figured out you're special on that one.
To help put that in perspective, you talk about SJWs being attracted to BDSM. She addressed that point. Then you bring up slut walks, which obviously has nothing to do with BDSM and it's relation to SJWs, but only SJWs (nice strawman).
Honestly, your retardation amazes me, and it's not you disagreeing with the majority, but the fact that your reasoning and argument isn't backed by anything other than your own personal stigma.
Actually, you know what, this person's right. In all honestly it's pretty obvious this person is just shitting up the thread, so, I'll post some pr0nz!
That makes everything better!
>Is everything someone says dismissive to you?
Hardly, you'll notice my initial reply to Lost Sub and Chloe.
>it shows you're just finding ways to argue
I have made my statement and am answering those who address them or otherwise ask questions of them. I fail to see how this is me looking for things to argue.
>you talk about SJWs being attracted to BDSM
I mentioned many in BDSM have SJW tendencies. I addressed this in my response to Lost Sub. Perhaps you should reread the last section of >>5716696 regarding what is and what you want to be.
>She addressed that point
Addressing does not necessarily mean the point is finished. You'll notice I've had to readdress basic reading comprehension with you several times.
As to the rest, you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink.
And some one butting in on a discussion attempting to shout it down while only attacking anon despite others being involved. Ahh, tripfags, where would be without them; especially when they typify what is being discussed. Some nice groupthink followed too, an almost classical case of it is presented in >>5716715
Maybe that's because YOU'RE the problem? Everyone else seems to be able to read and understand and comprehend and not assume that they're a special snowflake and no one can possibly understand them, and that it must be because they don't understand, not because they don't care and it's still wrong.
If you rereads the replies thus far you'll notice that there is not a single understanding from all but one person. One continues to attribute what they wish it was. Another attempts to subtly undermine the point. And yet another understood, disagrees, and left it at that.
Can we please leave all the shitposting to the other boards and fap in peace?
Well, we are on a fetish board. So they can make their own thread if they want.
>Do you normally ascribe "must be /pol/" to comments on psychology you dislike?
Not in the least, I call /pol/ when someone uses a /pol/-like lexicon, or beliefs, namely not 'pandering' to people with psychological issues. It is hardly psychology to dislike to say that people with mental illness should not be 'enabled', as though they have a choice to not be mentally ill. See, despite how much knowledge /pol/ has about the nature of humankind, they have failed to grasp that certain people require more assistance than others to function in a way perceived as "normal."
>I have seen the various BDSM groups in various areas that I have visited and lived in as having a great deal of groupthink.
That doesn't answer the question. I asked you whether you could give examples of such.
>Who largely organized (or helped) and participated in the slut walks in your area?
There wasn't one, or, if there was, I wasn't aware of it. I'm not sure why a slutwalk is inherently a bad thing. Certain people are unaware of how slut-shaming is somewhat harmful.
>I retract my statement about you having mellowed.
By mellowed, do you mean "become less argumentative"?
>Some nice groupthink followed too, an almost classical case of it is presented in
Posting porn is something to do to either apologise for posting off topic or filling conversational spaces. It's hardly "groupthink".
Not in this thread, friendo,. Please go, anon. >>>/b/
>That doesn't answer the question. I asked you whether you could give examples of such.
Your question was a strawman which presumed that I was using groupthink to apply to opinions as opposed to the definition of groupthink which applies to the practice of it as a social control. Hence my restatement that I have witnessed it practiced in more than a few instances and have even pointed out at least one instance of it in this very thread, ironically, one you have dismissed as such despite it being groupthink by definition. Further ironically, these threads could easily be referred to as a breeding ground for groupthink.
That's a shame. In the areas I frequent most of them were organized, at least in part, by those in the local BDSM groups. Whether you agree with it or not slut walks are largely attributed to being inherently SJW in participation and nature.
>Not in the least, I call /pol/ when someone uses a /pol/-like lexicon, or beliefs
Psychology, while having a great deal of inherent politics, does not mean some one who is using it properly falls under what 4chan in general refers to as /pol/.
It is very much so psychology to say those with mental illness should not be pandered to. Especially as it worsens some conditions. Note that there is a difference between pandering and assistance. Some one with psychological background will be more readily able to offer assistance without pandering while some one without will be most likely be pandering, possibly with the thought they are giving assistance. Depending on the disorder it can be very difficult for the untrained to notice the difference.
You're in a thread about BDSM, were shit posting someones kink it and its discussion would fit under this threads banner. That you and others cannot keep it polite and civil is not the other persons fault.
>Your question was a strawman
I don't think you know what strawman means.
>Hence my restatement that I have witnessed it practiced in more than a few instances and have even pointed out at least one instance of it in this very thread
Please explain why such an example was "groupthink". Are you the sort of person who considers politeness groupthink?
>Whether you agree with it or not slut walks are largely attributed to being inherently SJW in participation and nature.
It's almost as though you're implying that the mere existence of SJW is a bad thing.
>Some one with psychological background will be more readily able to offer assistance without pandering while some one without will be most likely be pandering, possibly with the thought they are giving assistance.
Wait, so correct me if I'm wrong, but you're saying that armchair psychologists who treat people will pander somehow, under the guise of giving assistance? And your thesis is that because of this,
>those with mental illness should not be pandered to
Please explain what you think pandering means, and why the treating people who are mentally ill differently counts as pandering.
>You're in a thread about BDSM, were shit posting someones kink it and its discussion would fit under this threads banner.
Shitposting fetishists should go to /tv/ or /v/.
>That you and others cannot keep it polite and civil is not the other persons fault.
It is the burden of everyone to be polite and civil.
>I don't think you know what strawman means.
Believe that if you like. It does not make it true.
>Please explain why such an example was "groupthink". Are you the sort of person who considers politeness groupthink?
Please look up the definition of groupthink. Not only to understand why referring to some one who thinks another opinion is not groupthink but to hopefully understand it such that you can see an example of it when it has all but literally bit you in the ass.
>It's almost as though you're implying that the mere existence of SJW is a bad thing.
I was pointing out that BDSM and SJW are a lot more closely tied than you originally thought >>5716447
>armchair psychologists who treat people will pander somehow
Given an "armchair" anything is often attributed to people who do not know what they are talking about would you want them to "help" some one, pandering or otherwise?
>Please explain what you think pandering means
The definition of course. You are aware what it means, are you not?
>why the treating people who are mentally ill differently counts as pandering.
I differentiated between pandering and assistance. Stop begging the question.
>Shitposting fetishists should go to /tv/ or /v/.
That's very dismissive of you. One might even say hurtful. Given what you're arguing for that's quite the turnabout. One could even argue it is two-faced.
>It is the burden of everyone to be polite and civil.
They are. That you cannot take it as such is your flaw.
Well, IIRC, groupthink is when "alternate thought" is suppressed in a community, and certain behaviors are enforced to aid cohesion and to minimize conflict. I don't think that "I've been rude, to apologize I'll post porn." is groupthink, it's rathermore what is called being polite.
>I was pointing out that BDSM and SJW are a lot more closely tied than you originally thought
Well, many things can be perceived as SJW/not-SJW depending on how right-wing one is. Simply because you perceive a certain thing as SJW, that does not make it so.
>I differentiated between pandering and assistance. Stop begging the question.
Funny, seeing as in your original post regarding mental health, you said, "it is that I do not like to pander to people with them or enabling behaviors in general." One could argue that "assistance" could be considered pandering. Also, you did not differentiate, you pointed out that a difference exists.
> Given what you're arguing for that's quite the turnabout. One could even argue it is two-faced.
One could also argue that the person in question doesn't actually have such a fetish, and is simply shitposting in a BDSM thread for the purposes of shitposting. Furthermore, a person isn't going to find much enjoyable shitposting here, which is why I directed them to boards with higher shitposting per post. One could even say that I've assisted someone in acquiring masturbation fuel.
>I don't think that "I've been rude, to apologize I'll post porn." is groupthink, it's rathermore what is called being polite.
So being a well known personality in these threads and telling two people to shut the fuck up and post porn which is met by an immediate turnabout by one of said person who then immediately makes a form of apology to be back in line with the in group is not groupthink? It appears you glossed over a lot, one thing being what lead to what you fail to see as groupthink in action.
>Well, many things can be perceived as SJW/not-SJW depending on how right-wing one is. Simply because you perceive a certain thing as SJW, that does not make it so.
And a rose by any other name &c. I find it interesting that you would not think a group of people rising to what they perceived as a gross social injustice is anything but SJW.
>you did not differentiate, you pointed out that a difference exists.
I suggest you look up the definition of "differentiate". Simply pointing out that a difference exists falls under it.
>One could argue that "assistance" could be considered pandering.
Not using the terms as I have they could not. They could refute my usage in which case I would simply point to the different definitions.
>One could also argue that the person in question doesn't actually have such a fetish
Ironic considering I do not believe the person in question does have such a fetish. Do you? Because my posts have been polite, civil, constructive, neutral, and added to the discussion despite multiple people attacking me and my posts and otherwise attempting to undermine them despite them relying upon well established definitions.
neither of you are arguing about BDSM at this point. or discussing BDSM.
So, fully acknowledging that it can be interpreted as enforcing groupthink, if you wish to continue to discuss the definitiosn of what is or is not groupthink, being an SJW, pandering, assistance, mental health, etc? Either bring it back to being BDSM focused, or take it elsewhere.
Because no, shitposting being someone's kink does not inherently make that kink BDSM related. Similarly, as beyond consentual nonconsent we don't include rape-fetish as part of BDSM, unless the hypothetical person with a shitposting fetish is also intrinsically about consentual power-exchange as expressed by shitposting (i don't know how that would work, and truly, i don't WANT to), it is similarly, unrelated to BDSM.
on something that IS related, however...does latex-care change significantly with larger articles other than scale? if all goes well i may be acquiring some significantly larger than anything i've previously owned sooooon.
Quick update for those who care:
The story's coming along nicely, I think. I'm about halfway through (maybe 2/3) and I'll post it the moment it's done.
>neither of you are arguing about BDSM at this point. or discussing BDSM.
So speaking about those prominent in this particular community, their actions, the communities actions, and clarifying points of contention directly related to the discussion which is all BDSM related is now not BDSM related?
So, fully acknowledge that you are wrong and either provide something polite, civil, constructive, neutral, etc. to the discussion or see your way out of it. This discussion and thread has seen enough groupthink and shitposting and you don't need to add to it.
>polite, civil, constructive, neutral, and added to the discussion
No, I beg to differ. You have a condescending and sneering demeanor, you are fairly aggressive and have an enormous martyr complex. All you've done is bitch about how BDSM is highly linked with SJW, and argue with me and others.
> I find it interesting that you would not think a group of people rising to what they perceived as a gross social injustice is anything but SJW.
Social Justice Warrior has implications of whiney-liberal-non-issue. It's essentially an insult.
I'll be waiting.
>does latex-care change significantly with larger articles other than scale?
I don't really think so. I'd assume that you'd just have to put in more elbow-grease, but other than that, more or less the same.
It'd be nicer if you stated the things that upset you in a clear, straightforward manner, and in such a way that we can attempt to help you get around them.
>You have a condescending and sneering demeanor
If that is how you see some one that disagrees with you and keeps it neutral that is your issue. Not mine.
If defense of my viewpoint with facts and definitions means, in your perceptions, that I am aggressive, that is again your issue.
>bitch about how BDSM is highly linked with SJW
I made the statement that they are much more linked that you originally posted and backup up my posts with cogent arguments. This does not constitute "bitching" about it.
>Social Justice Warrior has implications of whiney-liberal-non-issue. It's essentially an insult.
If that's how you perceive it.
The last line of your post is humorous considering what you accuse me of, both in it and previous. The short of the long being that now that you have devolved into little more than ad hominem you have in actually done what kittendoll has accused both of us of. Note that this does not exempt her from the same which I referenced in my previous post.
To add. If I recall correctly, there was a study done some years ago about perception of tone via textual exchange. If I'm recalling the numbers correctly, something like 90% of people reporting that they were very good and accurate about being able to detect tone/demeanor without context beyond what was written. However, the study found they were only ~50% accurate. While I recognize that neutral yet informative and well thought out positions are an oddity on 4chan they are not unheard of and nothing to attack others over. I'm sure you're breaking some global rule. Several actually.
>If that is how you see some one that disagrees with you and keeps it neutral that is your issue
But it's not neutral. That statement in itself is condescending. It's a verbal pat on the head, a "Well done, retard, but I know better."
I had a lot of trouble interpreting what you were trying to say. Your theses were all over the place, your argument was structureless: I don't really think that they were cogent. Sure, they were anecdotal, but that isn't quite the same.
This is exemplary in your >The short of the long
>that now that
>you have devolved into little more than ad hominem you have in actually done
It could be just me, but that's kind of awful and lacking in grammar. And no, it's not that I have poor reading comprehension.
But seriously, I do not like arguing with people over petty things over the internet. So let's bury the hatchet and discuss how to improve things. Why don't you start? Perhaps suggest something to improve the overall quality of the thread.
What global rules is he breaking?
What "neutral yet informative and well thought out position"?
>But it's not neutral. That statement in itself is condescending. It's a verbal pat on the head, a "Well done, retard, but I know better."
Your thought on what is meant has no bearing on what is meant given that it is not your statement. Any attributes beyond what is factual (or not) as the case may be are your own.
>It could be just me, but that's kind of awful and lacking in grammar.
No, that statement was horribly phrased and as such fails half of the definition of cogent. I maintain that on the whole my argument was cogent though. As to its structure, it made my initial statement and then addressed points of contention which is one of the fundamental argumentative methods.
>What global rules is he breaking? What "neutral yet informative and well thought out position"?
That was me more or less adding and addendum to my post.
>So let's bury the hatchet and discuss how to improve things. Why don't you start?
Cheers. Good night.
>Your thought on what is meant has no bearing on what is meant given that it is not your statement
You're implying that a statement can have multiple interpretations, and the author of it cannot be wrong. Lel.
>As to its structure, it made my initial statement and then addressed points of contention
With vast amounts of obfuscation.
Goodnight, Anon. I hope to hear from you again soon.
So, apologies if this is the wrong place to be asking this, but I like all you guys and galls, and I dont know anywhere else to ask. Ive been experimenting over the last few weeks a bit with anal, as well as panties and the handful of clothes my exgf left. Faproulettes of the sissy kind have been a lot of fun. I am wondering though where I might find an online femdom to sort of, push me a little...
>How has BDSM changed your life for the better, directly or indirectly?
I've been into kink and BDSM is some variety for most of my life, so listing everything would likely take up several threads. The biggest areas are allowing me some form of sexual expression where I feel safe enough to function, and allowed me to develop methods for repairing very damaged people.
>Any ideas on what to do between now and when I get my own place again? Male bi switch here btw.
You'd be surprised what you can get away with when living with your parents. Most parents don't want to know about their children's sex lives anymore then children want to know about their parents getting off. If you have a two hour opening, you can hit up a local munch. With me I have to set up at least three hours since any munch is a 45 minute drive away.
If you want to meet people in person, find a local munch, join the fetlife group, then meet some people. Go to much, make friends, find who you can talk to outside a munch. Rinse, lather, repeat.
You can also hit up IRC. There are a lot of people who are into kink and go online to meet people. A lot of the kinsters I meet online have never been to a munch, or know what it is. Learn to keep people at a certain distance for play. It's one thing to form a strong bond with a person, it's another to know you can't easily physically meet them.
>being malesub is suffering
Get thee to a much. There are plenty of dom women looking to for a sub to pin down and control.
>I'm too socially retarded to attend real BDSM meeting
If you're too afraid to go out and meet people then you'll never be anything more than inexperienced and afraid. Push as hard as you can until your legs unlock long enough to jump in. The only way to get better is to force yourself to get the experience you need to improve.
>Anyway, time for blogpost
I'm sorry that happened to you. Partner selection can help you avoid 90% of the problems, but getting there means having the experience to know who to select.
>I wouldn't mind joining a community, but I'd like a community that's not rotten to the core.
There seems to be an issue of visibility. Someone has to stand out as being a kinkster who doesn't want drama and bullshit. With every terrible social group, there are outsiders who just want to embrace their kink in peace. Start a munch in your area and and see who attends.
Welcome anon. Intimacy in BDSM relationships is one of the first things that really hooked me into the kink. Intimacy and trust are go hand and hand when I have someone tied up. Just that moment when they relax and surrender gives all the feels.
>I'm one of those who managed to fuck up everything and bit more growing up.
Welcome to the thread anon. There are a lot of people here who have led difficult lives. I hope that as you read and continue to post, you'll find that you can learn from other people's experiences and eventually feel safe enough to post your own. I'm happy that you're slowly recovering your humanity, and trusted us enough to share part of your story. If you have any specific questions, or just want to chat we'd love to hear what you have to say.
I don't do this often for anons, but it sounds like you deserve it. *Noseboop* Welcome to the thread!
>a silly but effective one is get cheap mittens when someplace is clearing out their winter gear, normal ones, then wrap them in duct tape.
Huh, I was thinking the same thing. You cam make handles with duct tape so you can tie down their hands and wrists.
>Sees anons and lost sub arguing in the thread.
Just know that in my mind, you all are being shipped so hard. Steamy foe-yay shipping for the win.
>Sorry for ruining the thread, everyone.
Shit happens Lost sub. I just scrolled through all of it.
Sorry anon, I have not a clue, I believe I got it from a thread somewhere, either shanachan or /d/.
So I feel like posting some kink related content. I'm going to share some impossible or highly unrealistic fantasies. Safe, Sane, and consensual take a back seat as these are just fantasies in my imagination.
Making a Hypnosis slave:
I want to unpack a person's mind and install a compulsion to obey at the core of their very being. They'd feel controlled and owned every moment of their life as I reshaped everything they are to suit my pleasure. Personality, memory, emotions, perception, and everything I feel like tinkering at the moment. Who they are becomes and expression of my desire.
Physical modification can be just as fun as mental control. I want diagnose and maintain every inch of their body. Opening up their chassis and disconnecting limbs as I examine and care for their body down to the smallest wire.
Strong Willed Sub:
I equally enjoy fierce predatory pets and sculpted muscles knights. the stronger a sub is, the more there is to dominate and overpower. Some subs would need a contest of strength and be defeated before submitting to a stronger master. Others would look to a master who has the will and heart they've been looking for. Kneeling to pledge their service when they find me worthy.
I used to have pretty good luck with Collarme. I know many people liked to shit on that site but I guess I was lucking in finding a few femdommes that had no interest in that whole "wallet rape" "pay pig" shit. Of course since I was socially retarded I fucked it up, but that's the way life goes.
On a semi-unrelated note, I went to my area's BDSM for young people group (18-30.) While it was nice to interact with people around my own age I still felt like it was super difficult to "break in" to the community. Pretty much everyone there already knew people and stuck with them. Also the new people were made to talk about what kinky stuff they were in to in front of total strangers, super uncomfortable...
I may go back and try it again but I am beginning to think that I should just stick with kinky stuff online and leave real life out of it.
>On a semi-unrelated note, I went to my area's BDSM for young people group (18-30.)
Going to a new social group can be really difficult and straining. You managed to go out and meet new people which is impressive and awesome. Younger people tend to be less proactive about including new people. Ask the munch organizer who is open to talking to new people and helping them feel included. Keep on trying. My first munch in any group has been hard, but it as so much easier and more rewarding the second munch and on.
>I don't do this often for anons, but it sounds like you deserve it. *Noseboop* Welcome to the thread!
Thank you. I've been here for quite many years and since the first bdsmg thread, I just don't want to use a name and rarely have anything interesting to say. Knowing that there are other people who fucked up life like I did has actually helped me to sometimes write something. Like I said, bdsm is one of the reasons I became a mess, so I have very little to ask about how to do something. I've probably tried it, and since I don't actually know much about what I like and what just tolerate, I don't really care that much about what is done to my body.
Mostly sir and I are worried about my inability to say no, when something is demanded from me. We've agreed it's better I speak little in places where you can't know what people are going to ask you to do. It gets even worse because I get easily attached to people who are kind to me, and it makes refusing even harder. I'm quite pretty wallflower, and it suits me well.
Thanks for the encouragement! Hopefully when I go back it isn't all the same people. I just need to talk to the person running it like you said and hopefully I have better luck next time.
>Mostly sir and I are worried about my inability to say no, when something is demanded from me.
I find that a lot of people who come from abuse backgrounds have difficulty feeling safe. In particular the only decisions that feel safe are the ones ordered or given from other people. Repairing a sense of safety a lot of time and energy, but it can be down.
Consider that your wide range of experience can help other people here. Just being able to find the words to post help out other people who've had similar pain in their life. Finding a voice can be very empowering, as well as helping other people find theirs.
>Thanks for the encouragement!
You're welcome. I lucked out my first munch. I took the advice of the thread and told the munch organizer it was my first time. I asked about newbie friendly people and found I was sitting down with some chatty people who were lots of fun to talk to.
I had a strange, strange experience with a domme who WAS into the whole financial domination thing.
Basically, she lost a bet that she was sure she would win, and threw an enormous shit fit about how I should've let her win.
Sorry, but play is play and a wager is a wager!
My munch asked us new people what we were into the first time I went. It's a bit of an icebreaker, and while awkward at first I can see why it's done. For one, putting some kink or idea out there gives folks something to talk to you about and helps identifying those with similar interests that might be up for playing sometime. For another, well, we've all been there where we're afraid of being rejected due to our kink, so it helps break through that fear. I know actually hearing someone mean it when they said "that's hot" to me expressing my kink, it was really rewarding and gratifying.
Good for you, for getting out, though.
Also, on that note, here's hoping I have good luck at a an event later today!
http://www.financialdomination.com/journal/ I met this... being... through channels other than her website, when I was questioning my gender identity. Suffice to say, she managed to plant a big inferiority complex into me, likely in preparation to getting money out of me.
I discussed the matter with a much older and wiser friend, who said "You don't look like a fop to me, but live and let live. Sounds like she's not letting you live. I know you can't leave things well alone, so I won't tell you to stop talking to her, but if she's so much better than you, why not ask her to prove it?" (Said older and wise friend was both a fan and an acquaintance of Robert Heinlein).
So, we do that. The challenge was simply who made more money during a particular month. Being summer, I had no classes, and threw myself into data recovery. She had a bad month.
So, I sign on her forum, and post my results. She private-messages me that I absolutely must send her enough money so that she's the bet's victor. I ask for advice from the other forum members, in doing so pasting the PM on the forum. They all tell me that yes, I should do that. I feel bullied, and answer with "Well, wait, that's not fair. I won't. So I win. I guess this time around Princess Sierra got overruled." Within half a day the thread and my account were gone. She still owes me $100. This was about 8 years ago. Anyway, sorry for offtopicness.
I think you did the right thing and I'm glad you did. That sounds like an extremely unhealthy community, and even so, making it so you win is not technically winning. I wish you better luck in the future avoiding said shitty people like that.
>Starter Question: How has BDSM changed your life for the better, directly or indirectly?
Nearly all of my relationships were fucking garbage before I got into kink. In a seven year period of dating, I had maybe six months altogether of dating that didn't involve abuse, lies, cheating or unhealthy interdependence. I was extremely self-loathing about my sadism and got into all kinds of bad situation for it because I saw myself as damaged goods and would go for pretty much any guy who was crazy enough not to mind me being crazy. It didn't really even cross my mind that some people would see me wanting to hurt/control/rape them as any kind of positive if it was done right. I just had my pipe dreams and Anita Blake novels. But after a really bad breakup last year I decided to give it a go for real, get into the community, see if maybe meeting someone based on kink was worth a shot. Things are a lot better now. My self esteem and confidence have improved a lot and I'm way less neurotic about communicating what I want in a relationship and leaving if I don't get it.
There used to be an artfag in this general with a boot fetish, Star-something. If he pops up again, I'm sure he'd have lots of shoe-centric things.
Same as what everyone else has said, group think is a factor in every single social group in existence. Kinksters, feminists, goths, Christians, queers, MRAs, 4chan, EVERYONE does this shit, and this thread really isn't a bad offender, you'll only get everyone turning on you if you're genuinely being a dick. So just don't be a dick, be nice to people and don't be arrogant.
>So speaking about those prominent in this particular community [...] is now not BDSM related?
Absolutely right, that's /soc/ tier shit. Do you also stalk tripfags and then complain about them derailing threads when you derail threads by stalking them?
>I find that a lot of people who come from abuse backgrounds have difficulty feeling safe. In particular the only decisions that feel safe are the ones ordered or given from other people. Repairing a sense of safety a lot of time and energy, but it can be down.
I've read quite much about abusive background and unfortunately I also have a history which has been very educational if nothing else. We've been lucky enough to find kink friendly professionals who have opened my eyes to many things. There's still much to do, since few friendly words - like yours - make me feel an obligation to start tripfagging just to be of use, because somebody was kind to me. The kinder and closer the people are the more I need to please them to make sure they won't abandon or abuse me. I know I couldn't handle possible backslash and stalking tripfagging causes. Maybe one day when I feel safe enough.
I occasionally post when people ask advice but never under a name. That'll do for now. Who knows what kind of monsters you are, and I sure know I wouldn't like to be a part of your painslut collection even when I know for sure I am one.
Advice for a guy who fantasises about this stuff and has found a girl who made it quite evident from day 1 she loves bondage and kinky stuff.
Me, the guy, has never actually done any bdsm stuff but she's a straight up sub and wants a dom...
Guys, you've gotta help me out here. I found this great /ss/ femdom doujin about a couple of boys on a train who get strung up by a couple of older women who tease/bully them and take pictures of their boners... somebody please?! It was SO good and I can't find it! Also, is there a Japanese term for a fetish for people having involuntary photos taken of their genitals?
Try not jerking off for a month, friend. It's a MUCH better orgasm.
Nice, Ghost. I especially like Strong Willed Sub. That sort of person would be fun to play with.
Not at all off-topic, great story. Nice. I especially like that you won, and didn't back down.
Okay. Start off slow. Sit her down and discuss what you want to do and what she wants to do. Set up ground rules, a safeword and hard limits (ie, things that you absolutely refuse to do; things she absolutely refuses to do, [for me that would be things like scat, findom and electroplay]). Remember, if you don't get someone's consent, (unless they consent to not giving consent) you're raping them. I'd personally start off with light impact play, like barehand/back-of-a-hairbrush spanking , maybe some cock or foot worship, maybe some rope fun. Learn how to do a two column tie, so you can tie her to your bed. Have fun.
>>/r/ is your best bet. Or even /ss/ on 7chan. You'll probably get best help there.
>I know I couldn't handle possible backslash and stalking tripfagging causes. Maybe one day when I feel safe enough.
You're making the right decision to to respect your limits and not take on too much at once. Understanding that you have limits and acting accordingly is a great benchmark that you are well on your way to recovering.
>Advice for a guy who fantasises about this stuff and has found a girl who made it quite evident from day 1 she loves bondage and kinky stuff.
>Me, the guy, has never actually done any bdsm stuff but she's a straight up sub and wants a dom...
Take it slow. Start by bringing it up in conversation. This can feel like a huge risk, but do things that would help you mitigate your anxiety. Write out what you want to say, practice getting the words out, and take the time to treat yourself leading up to talking, and have a plan for how you'll calm down afterwards.
You can start off with "I'm a dom and I'd like to talk about kink." If she's enthusiastic you can let her do most of the talking. Be up front that you don't have any experience and would like to start. If she's willing, with her. Things can be completely platonic and clothes on and you can still engage in kink. Ropes, impact play, getting comfortable giving orders, etc are all things you two could practice.
Keep in mind you're new at this. Keep it simple. Learn the simple things like safety, communication, and feeling more comfortable with control.
if you want some easy stuff to wade in with, two knotty boys have several YouTube videos with some basics on rope bondage. its not real in depth, but you can break the ice with it and not feel completely unprepared.
also don't be afraid to have things done to you. Its very worthwhile being able to understand the experience regardless of what role you find works for you.
>It hasn't, it just makes me feel worse about being a kissless virgin.
yeah, it'll do that...makes the first one all the sweeter though...
I'd tell you to take my word for it but this is 4chan.
Chin up, anon. Things will get better, but only if you want them to. In other words; if you try to make friends, eat well, cultivate interesting hobbies or interests, and then try to talk to girls, you may stop being a kissless virgin.
I know that that is fucking hard, but trust me: if you keep at it, day after day after month after year, you will find someone.
Normally I don't share stories in here, but I'm still pretty pumped from earlier today. Just got back from my first pony play event which was even better than I thought it would be. Got to lead around a ponygirl for a bit, and then got to be a cart pony for another cute newbie girl who was REALLY enjoying it. The people there were great too, everyone was fun to talk to and grounded on Earth, which was a nice change of pace from my local munch. Only bad part was that I didn't get to pony-out more, and that they may not have the event again until next spring ;_;
And to keep this from being a blog post, here's some porn.
Fuck them and her.
Financial domming is only acceptable when you are in a good, healthy relationship with a person whether that be sexual or not, and the same with blackmail. Anyone else really needs to prove themselves to deserve the time of day.
So good job for sticking it up to the cunt.
BDSM has led me to accept my "natural" (so to speak) gender role, and I do believe that is for the better.
>I hope to hear from you again soon.
Mildly surprising but okay...
>You're implying that a statement can have multiple interpretations, and the author of it cannot be wrong.
Nope. I'm saying the tone of a statement solely in textual form can have a multitude of interpretations but that the reader is unlikely to interpret it correctly. Especially if the tone is a-typical for the environment.
>With vast amounts of obfuscation.
It certainly isn't intentional.
Alright. I liked arguing with you, but please let's talk about happier things.
Did you have a particular flavor of happier thing in mind?
I suspect your choice of picture for your reply was rather deliberately chosen...
>Did you have a particular flavor of happier thing in mind?
Eh, I like having someone contrarian to talk to.
I suspect your picture was equally deliberately chosen.
>Eh, I like having someone contrarian to talk to.
An uncommon desire to be sure.
>I suspect your picture was equally deliberately chosen.
One must have an appreciation for the classics and post them from time to time.
I've gotta say, you have quite the taste in porn.
So yes, happy things: in the unlikely condition that the kink world wasn't as groupthinky or SJW-y as you see it to be, how would you relate/identify/place yourself?
I have a question for the subs in the thread.
Wristcuffs > handcuffs, right?
Wristcuffs are good for show. They're also fairly functional and are highly pretty. But police-grade handcuffs will never break and you'll always be able to trust them. That being said, wristcuffs can attach to opposite bedposts, while handcuffs can only wrap around one.
>But police-grade handcuffs will never break and you'll always be able to trust them.
I would have no problem with good ol' handcuffs. But I find the sub can get some marks in the wrists after being tied for a long time.
Which is why you wouldn't handcuff your sub somewhere for hours at a time.
Handcuffs are good for keeping someone struggly in place, wristcuffs are good for keeping them there for long time.
I've always been more partial to wristcuffs, I do agree.
Sometimes my Mistress lets me sleep next to her on the condition I be cuffed (hands and ankles). Makes for some sweet cuddles from her.
>I've gotta say, you have quite the taste in porn.
Why thank you, it's been a long time in the making. Your tastes appear quite eclectic.
top/dom. I enjoy the trust. On both end. And what is the light to your moth in this practice?
>But I find the sub can get some marks in the wrists after being tied for a long time.
This is unavoidable with people struggling against things that are less yielding than flesh and rather unergonomic as well. It is mostly only avoided when the cuffs remain unloaded (via weight or struggling) and can be a little mitigated with diy cover/padding lining such as soft leather or felt. Realistically, quality wrist cuffs are better overall. Low quality ones can even add safety as a determined person can break the clip holding them together (or simply undo it). That alone can add more and subtle levels to ones play.
>And what is the light to your moth in this practice?
Sadomasochistic switch, sub inclined. Or in less fuckassish terms, I like all sorts of pain, but prefer to be hurt. Seeing as it's college, I'm planning to experiment with hurting others, to see how it feels.
>Seeing as it's college, I'm planning to experiment with hurting others, to see how it feels.
Consensually, I hope.
>Consensually, I hope.
Naturally. When I do get someone, there will be ground rules, hard boundaries, and check-ins, followed by aftercare. Because I am going to try my best at being a good dom.
I'm pretty sure that if an alumnus of my college became a serial killer, he would ask is victims whether they consented to being stabbed and eaten, due to having it drummed into him that you've gotta ask for consent.
>Or in less fuckassish terms
Ha! I've heard much more... "i'm a special snowflake" lines. Female, I presume?
>Because I am going to try my best at being a good dom.
Be a good person first. To the other and yourself. You'd be surprised how many opportunities you'll lose that you wouldn't have otherwise.
>Female, I presume?
Nope, I'm 100% bloke.
>Be a good person first. To the other and yourself. You'd be surprised how many opportunities you'll lose that you wouldn't have otherwise
Thanks, I'll take that to heart.
Honestly, I only like handcuffs because it makes for easy self-bondage. When there's more than one person there are just so many nicer ways to tie someone up that also look hotter too.
>Nope, I'm 100% bloke.
Ah, depending on your area... well, have fun and good luck.
>Thanks, I'll take that to heart.
I'm glad. It's a hard thing to stop when it's all been setup and the moment is nearly there and that bad vibe happens. It's even harder when your feel it from yourself and not the other person. Just nerves or something else?
Not to put too fine a point to it but, IMO, better to trust your gut than not and wish you had. What people will say is something along the lines of it'll happen if it was meant too and someone similarly interested should be understanding at least once or twice.
>well, have fun and good luck
>better to trust your gut than not and wish you had.
I'm playing the waiting game. There are approximately three people who I could go about !!BEFRIENDING!! but I'm not really sure about commencing such an endeavour.
Well, I guess I could start somewhere, but the one who I like the best as a person has little to no interest in me. I think she thinks that I'm gay or something.
I guess the age-old addage, "Gay or European" doesn't apply here because....well...I am European. And slightly gay if enjoying pegging means homosexuality.
It sounds like you don't even know if she's into kink much less you. While you will miss every shot you don't take, to beware at least a little of potential affects to your reputation.
I do have some sense of propriety, Anon. I do keep distinct people-I-want-a-relationship-with and people-I-want-to-fuck-or-hurt. Stop trying to put doubt into my mind. The lady in question falls into the former category. She's cool enough simply to hang out with. And what precisely betrays the notion that I'm not into kink? Do all my relationships have to be kink ones for me to be twoo?
Quite well. Enjoyed a session that ended just about an hour or two ago.
Unfortunately, couldn't work on the story you may or may not have heard of. Ah, well.
Oh, it's the Good Doctor!
How are you? It's great to have you back. How've you been?
Oh, well, long story (relatively) short, I'm a writefag writing a story, as well as telling the threads about what me and my Mistress call "Tarot Games," (hence the name) which are basically BDSM sessions based on the Major Arcana of the Tarot. Still haven't hit The Tower. Hopefully soon.
tl;dr I've told some stories some people like and now I'm writefagging too.
I'm worried I might need a serious ego check.
Not bad, not counting the Napa earthquake a few weeks back. Wasn't bad but my external harddrive kicked it and I nearly got blown up by a neighbors tv when I was helping them clean up. Sucker shot the power button clean across the room and threw sparks everywhere. But yes once again I am with out a porn collection :( Good news is that's easily fixed with time. But I just felt like popping in to see how things been going. Going to try to be around without being quite as addicted as last time. Turns out that while I'm not as bad as Lilly when it comes to getting addicted to social media like thing I still have my own problems. And thats time I could be devoting to other fun things, like writing, or sex, or evil inventions.
Though I haven't had a good idea in a long while. BURNOUT SUCKS.
I wish you the best. To be honest, a good way to get ideas is to get comfortably drunk and then read Goethe or McCarthy. Works for me.
I can relate to the ego bit, I went a little ego mad for a bit there. Also good, the thread always needs good story tellers. But my real question is what happens when you get to the Seven of Swords...or what ever it was, my knowledge of taro is limitied and I'm drunk.
WAY Ahead of you.
>Sucker shot the power button clean across the room
The fuck if I know how, my knowledge of electrical engineering is limited. If I had to guess it was as it was an old CRTV model and more than likely a capacitor literally blew. I'm not kidding it shot sparks in a five foot radius around the tv. I have a bunch of exciting I nearly died was injured from helping people on that day. I cleaned 16 houses, a group of people helped one family move out of their house in 6 hours as the sucker was going to come down. Split right down the middle.
No specific numbers, just Major Arcana themselves, i.e The Fool, Temperance, The Lovers, etc.
I'll recount the earlier ones again someday, but for now I still await The Tower.
It is close to 1 a.m. Where I am, though, so I'm gonna hit the sack...
Then go to bed.
MASTURBATION JOKE, SWING AND A MISS!
>And what precisely betrays the notion that I'm not into kink
Taking your phrase "has little to no interest in me" means either in general or sexually. I took it as in general although even if sexually it still most likely means you know very little about her sexual preferences. My statement was that it appears you don't even know if she's into kink. Not that you are or are not.
As to putting doubt in your mind
>you will miss every shot you don't take
>There used to be an artfag in this general with a boot fetish, Star-something. If he pops up again, I'm sure he'd have lots of shoe-centric things.
Starboy. Often does his own threads, too.
you don't need to put a name on to give advice or share experiences. We're glad to have you here regardless.
be calm, relax, explore slowly. make sure she knows both that you're new to actually doing the things, AND that you -want- to learn how to be the dom she wants and needs. that alone can go a long way.
glad to hear it went well! it's a pity that it's hard to find spaces to arrange those kinds of events just because, well, ponyplay does need a LOT of space
i find them massively more comfortable to wear, but then, i sleep shackled.
you say that now, but what happens after you've done all the major arcana?
>Starboy. Often does his own threads, too.
I think he was in one of the futa drawthreads a couple days ago but they shoed him out.
When we finish the Major Arcana...
Well, my Mistress is clever. If I don't think of something she certainly will.
malesube here. whats a munch? like, i kinda get that its a meetup of some sort, but i dont know the details. i kinda want to get into the scene, but im anxious because im a virgin and really fucking beta/awkward. are there nice femdoms out there?
god dammit, i feel like my fantasies have hyped up sex as well as femdom to the point that it will be disappointing. im sorry for bitching about insecurities, but i just get worried
Reality is never as good as what your imagination can conjure. Hell, I was disappointed the first time I subbed because it didn't play out the way I thought it would. But I did it again and loved it. So much so that I realized the role I enjoy playing today.
Wasn't able to work on it as much as I'd like this week. I'll try to dedicate some more time to it because I'm having a blast writing it. I'm glad there are people eager to read it.
I'm in a really good mood because a friend of mine read the first five pages of my story and said that it reminded her of Virginia Woolf, which is the best praise I've ever received.
Hypothetically, I'd let things run their course until we'd done vanilla stuff for a while. Then I'd just come out with it and see what happens.
to some degree, yes. it tends to jam people into one of a handful of cookie-cutter templates, and it takes a lot of time and effort to venture outside that again
Could do signs of the Zodiac, or something. Chinese Zodiac petplay is a known thing.
basically, natter and nosh. It's just a social meetup of kinky people, in order to meet and chat with other kinky people in the flesh.
depends on the person, for me it'd be right away, because i simply don't function without it.
One of my favorites.
These are the best when the individuals are pressed up against eachother.
Fuck fuck fuck. This is MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN AWESOME.
>How has BDSM changed your life for the better, directly or indirectly?
It yet, unfortunately, has to. Brought me here, I'm a newfag.
>23 year old straight eurofag
>virgin, closeted crossdresser
>just thinking of being dolled up and fucking a girl after that gives me a raging boner
>otaku, tall, due to european descendance able to do quite a few accents, i that's a goer for anyone here
Anyone got advise on how to get satisfaction?
Well, first things first, welcome!
Secondly, caaaaaalllmmm down. It's okay! Haha. New people are welcome here, and people that have questions are just contributing content in their own way!
As for the rest, well, um... BDSM really doesn't have a whole lot to do with crossdressing directly, even though there tends to be a lot of overlap? I mean, practically anything can be BDSM if you try for it, but crossdressing is a popular subject especially among male subs and female Domme's.
If BDSM is actually what you're looking for, I'd suggest you keep posting here, and go to fetlife to look for events in your area. But that's just standard advice I'd give just about anyone!
Thx for the warm welcome.
Well ... I kinda got really hot-headed. The BDSM as a whole is extremely intruging, but I guess I'd probably go for being sub, not sure. I mean being forced to anything sounds really appealing, if I look at the pics about. I just found the term that might be just giving the kicks "forced feminzation", but this seems to include bi ... and well, cocks are kinda a turn off for me.
Since I got someone to talk me, let's ask you something: What are you into? How did you get started?
>people that have questions are just contributing content in their own way!
That's a relief. Don't want to annoy people ... guess that gushin reaction already did it. I'm all calmed down, sensei.
>well, cocks are kinda a turn off for me
Crying shame. Cocks are wonderful.
Despite that I'm not Chloe, I'll answer you as well.
>What are you into?
I like, among other things, D/s, impact play, breath play, being a service sub, pegging, some aspects of CD and some aspects of bloodplay.
>How did you get started?
I was a secondary in a poly relationship to a nice couple, the boy of which was in my English class. Then I had a brief relationship with someone from here. I picked up kinks along the way, more or less. I don't think my sixteen year old self would thought that in two years he'd enjoy pegging, but you know how things are.
Nah, don't worry about it. Everyone here is really nice! When it comes to not really knowing what you're into, well, don't worry about that either. You don't have to decide right away and then you're locked in forever! or anything crazy like that. On that same note, any kink including another kink or sexuality is really just not how it is either. You have things you like, your partner has things they like and you work within the boundaries of what you're both comfortable with. You know, like sane people.
Um, well, I'm a sub. BDSM is largely non sexual to me though that makes me an odd one out around here. A lot of people do extend the nature of the relationship to outside the bedroom as well though. For me it mostly involves living with Mistress, taking care of the chores and the cooking and so on. In return, she dotes on me, generally takes care of me and protects me, and sometimes ties me down and hits me a lot. Which is great, because I'm a masochist.
But, not all BDSM relationships do make it out of the bedroom. That really once again depends on what you and your partner want.
We got started here on /d/, though it was a long time ago. It was a long distance relationship for a very long time, and it progressed from there.
Yes, mine is. Well, just not attracted to them ;) Some bi friend of mine told me it's pretty awesome that everyone's attractive, so you got that going for you.
What are D/s, impact play, breath play and bloodplay?
I am really a goddamn late starter. I can't imagine to enjoy pegging, too.
I can already confirm this. It's slightly confusing, as people are sending me all over 4chan (/b/ send me to /d/ and /soc/, /d/ send me here, yada yada).
>When it comes to not really knowing what you're into
Don't forget I'm a virgin (there were bjs though, so i have that going for me). Experience equals zero.
So being a sub is literally being someone's bitch and doing their bidding? I need such a slave, dom sounds more interesting now :'D
You people are probably from the US, aren't you?
What are D/s, impact play, breath play and bloodplay?
Dominance/submission. In simpler words, it means that someone (in more often than not an erotic context) is in "control" of the other. He or she gives orders, takes the lead in sexual practices, is "on top", dominates.
Being hit with things or hitting other people with things
Erotic use of blood/knives
>I am really a goddamn late starter
No, it's just that I was slutty in my youth.
Being a sub isn't always like that, but it's like that for me. It really depends on your relationship and what you both want. For me, I get a lot of pleasure out of making someone happy, and when I do a good job and Mistresses eyes light up and she says "Good Girl!" that's just the best feeling in the world. Not to say I don't like it when she's forceful and rough and mean to me as well. But, it's a different kind of joy.
But, there are plenty of submissives who are only interested in the sexual side of things, or being forced into doing things. Or for that matter, Doms who really aren't interested in domestic service or control or owning someone and really just want to play. Though most of them seem to identify more as sadists than Doms I suppose. Anyway, basically, no matter what you ARE into, it's really just a matter of finding someone else also into that from the opposite side.
We're in the US, yes. But many people here on this board aren't.
Both sides are really appealing.
>impact play, breath play, blood play
Sounds maniac and ... also intruging like the rest. Could never inflict damage on a undeserving person though ... hmm. Probably a sub in those regards.
>I was slutty in my youth
Do you regret something or have the feeling you missed something? I am not entirely sure about that myself.
I could understand that you get pretty addicted to that "good girl"-thing, probably releases quite a high amount of dopamine and stuff for you.
Does it interfere with work? Or does that, again, depend on the individual "border"? And in general.
So it's really a "trial and error thing"? What about those partys? Good for beginners or "Warning: Too early"?
I'm just asking ... I'd offer to answer your questions, too, but I'm not sure if I can supply you with any interesting information.
>That pic's nice.
>Sounds maniac and ... also intruging like the rest.
More or less how I felt at the start. Impact play, however, can only be barehanded spanking. Impact play is REALLY FUCKING FUN, though, and you should totally give it a go, as it's one of the most accessible and most "safe" pain-related kink.
>Do you regret something...?
Yes, I do. I sucked off two guys I barely knew when I was almost sixteen. I feel vile even remembering it.
I'm male. I really should just call myself Lost Sub: Male Edition so that people don't ask that question so frequently.
Nothing we do really effects our professional lives. But, Mistress works from home and I'm about to be a student again (then later a housewife), soooo it would take a lot for it to do so. I do wear a collar everywhere I go, but it's pretty enough that most people just think it's a decorative choker and don't notice it's locked on. Other than that, I've been asked about bruises (god I love bruises) by cashiers and things a few times, but otherwise really nothing has come up at all.
Don't take it the wrong way though, from an outsiders perspective it looks like she has the easy part of things. Because she can order me to do anything she wants done. But, being a responsible Owner isn't a super easy job either. She takes great care of me too. From my perspective, I'm the one who has it easy. I can relax and just do what I'm told to do and I can trust that everything will be fine. She has the responsibility of making choices, and so she has the responsibility of always making the right choice for both of us.
Those parties are usually called munches. They're basically normal social gatherings though, where everything has one thing in common: BDSM. So, when you go... treat it as a normal gathering about anything else. You wouldn't show up to a gathering about video games dressed in full fetish gear and talk about sex the whole time with strangers you've never met. You won't do that at a munch either!
Very good for beginners!
Goddamn I should think longer before I ask.
Breath play sounds like the most insane one ... and I also have quite a recent personal issue with asphyxation, not my thing right now (tl;dr bbq, storm, 9 people in a garden cabin, tree falls on cabin, 6 make it out alive, one of the three dead is dad).
Thought you're male at the start, but wasn't sure now, especially when you said the bj-thing at the end. A little biased, sry.
- That's nice! What are you going to study?
- I have absolutely no problems with responsibilty. "If something has to go right, do it yourself". On the other hand, this seems like a nice opportunity to relax ... Goddamn it, both sides of the coin are awesome.
- You really are pushing my curiosity-points. I'm acquiring valuable informtion right now. I think I mixed bdsm up with swinger, did I?
>A little biased, sry.
It's okay. Don't worry, anon, I'll still like you.
>one of the three dead is dad
My honest and profound condolences.
My main point of study will probably be software engineering, though I want to take at least a few culinary arts classes as well. I'm already a self taught programmer, so the going to school is mostly to shore up any weaknesses in my self teaching, improve my math skills, and have a diploma because life goals darn it.
Well, switches are also a thing. Some people just enjoy both sides of this and like to switch regularly. Besides, it's not like you have to choose right this second or anything. Take some time and explore anon!
Well, I said before that BDSM can be just about anything. Mistress has had me write lines (as a punishment, to be fair) or given me countless orders to make her cups of tea. There's nothing /kinky/ about that, but within our dynamic it is still BDSM. But there are some things that are popular to take part in. Crossdressing is the one you were mentioning earlier. Swinging is another one. Though a lot of kinky couples are poly, and I don't really think that counts as swinging. Either way, I'm certain both of those things happen regularly!
The point is, whatever you want CAN be BDSM, depending on how it works for you and your partner. Every Dom/me I know gives positively silly orders sometimes. Mistress ordered me to stop making jokes about racoons while she was trying to sleep last night. As an off the top of my head example.
(Mission successful though, she totally had a dream about a racoon.)
>I'll still like you.
Thx on the other thing.
I did math 2 years and switched for economics, now having finished the 2nd year there, too. Math is fucking awesome .... but is a demanding bitch. Like a mistress.
Switching's sounds great.
Gj on the raccoons. How is sleeping with someone sitting on you? Does that work? Does that cound as breath play ^^?
>How is sleeping with someone sitting on you? Does that work? Does that cound as breath play ^^?
Spooning is so much more comfortable, and breathplay is more fun when you're concious.
My math skills are embarrassingly bad, to be honest. It's one of the few major things holding me back from being a great programmer. So, looking forward to that. But, even after college I don't really plan to use programming for more than in home projects and possible freelancing if we need the money.
Sleeping with someone sitting on me? I don't think I've ever done that. I fall asleep on Mistress all the time though. I have a habit of falling right to sleep whenever we cuddle up. Mistress does breathplay rarely. It's really not the safest thing in the world, so we don't to it a lot, but we both really love it. Even if it's just covering my nose and mouth with a hand for a little, or telling me to hold my breath.
Though if you take out the sleeping part, yeah, Mistress sits on me sometimes. It's really mean. I've also been a table and a footstool! Probably other things too!
Nope, that's Pu-Jo, who draws great arses.
Advice for breathplay: If you're going to do it, first ascertain a gesture or a movement that means STOP NOW RIGHT NOW. For me, this would be choking my person with one hand and holding their hand with the other, with the instruction to squeeze twice tightly when they want to stop. Find the spot between the two clavicles, below the Adam's apple. You'll find two cartiligeous "strings", If you stick index and middle finger between those and downwards, that's reallyreally fun. If in doubt, stop. Do not choke someone for more than a minute under any circumstances, unless you have EMT training. Even then, be extremely careful.
Math needs time and diligence. And frustration tolerance. Give it a go! I would have switched earlier if it weren't so awesome!
That actually sounds extremely cute.
I think me and my pals did that too ourselves in some way when we're little. Swimming pool, jump-thing with deep thing, always dived near bottom and looked who hold out longes. And god did we often do that ... probably liked it.
You might like it:
That might even work. Just nothing at the rib cage, still having a few hematoma.
I can't possibly imagine to choke someone (if they deserve it, yes, but i can't see myself fucking someone whom i see worthy of inflichting pain upon).
>Math is fucking awesome
Well, math will be one of the main reasons I'm there, so I'm sure I'll get plenty of time to explore.
Thank you! <3
Well, that's... sort of breath play? I mean, I dunno. It's a bit different when someone else controls when you get to breath! It feels wonderful!
Most recently, Mistress covered my mouth and nose with her hands out of nowhere, and gave me /that/ look before telling me not to breath. Then she let go and watched me for a while. Right before I burst, she gave me permission again, luckily! I wouldn't have wanted to fail! Though my wriggling probably gave me away. I gave her the needy princess eyes, put my hands together and made a pleading motion. Success!
Aww, thank you! Well, I'm a regular here. So if you come back I'll probably be here. I'm here most days, even if sometimes I'm lurking.
A-non, you arsehole, I have work to do and you find me a light, hilarious and lewd thing that ticks most of my fetishes? W-why? You're so mean!
Hi /d/ first time poster here.
So I'm buying a chastity device and I'm not sure what I'm looking this, especially as I have a below average penis.
I was considering ordering this:
could always go for "Lost Sub: now with more cock" ?
>Goddamn it, both sides of the coin are awesome.
there' the option of being a "switch." which is exactly what it sounds like. while i'm primarily sub, and for years thoguht i was 'pure' sub and could never ever ever enjoy topping anyone for any reason beyond 'i hate this but it makes you happy and i like making others happy.' And then, well, some lovely people pushed the right buttons that nobody knew were there and proved me wrong about that. Right, Chloe? hehehehehehe.
>>5721957 here again
I was wondering, in the realm of self-chastity, what would be the best way to do it?
I was thinking locking the chastity cage with a combination lock with a combination I don't know (probably only 3 numbers at first, and then a 4 number combination once I get more into it).
Would that be a good idea?
3 numbers is 1000 combinations, 4 number combination is 10000 combinations. So I'd have to sit for hours trying every possible combination until I could get release.
Anyone have any experience with this?
>Go on a date
>Chatting her up
>She mentions her favourite book is Fifty Shades of Grey
>Eventually it devolves into her talking about bdsm and how she enjoys being spanked etc
>We drive to the Ice Rink, on the way there she keeps dropping subtle and not very fucking subtle hints at all she was keen to hook up.
>Say "Fuck it"
>Grab her by the throat and kiss her.
I always thought that whole ecstasy eye-flutter thing was something that only happened in the movies.
So yeah, things happened, apparently I got her into something called "sub space"? She was very surprised when I told her I had never done anything like that before.
A week later I got a text from her saying "Its not you its me" etc etc. Which is sad because she opened an incredible door for me and I would have loved to explore it fully with her but whatevs.
>inb4 not your blog
My question is, what do I do now?
I have no experience or knowledge with BDSM and I would love to explore it further.
Hey i'm just going off what she told me but that isn't all we did. I must have toyed with her for a good solid hour, went skating then came back for another hour or so.
And from the way she spoke about her past she had some pretty deep issues which is why I wasn't so cut when she sent that text.
That's not subspace.... Either way, if you're interested, just do plenty of research on bdsm, that's what I did. But be warned, you may of gotten the wrong reputation (50 shades of gray is shit and is just.... ugh, it's insulting, really) since that doesn't seem like a very valid source.
Just look around, be aware fantasy is different from reality and where the two can overlap and shouldn't, as well as knowing how not to be an asshole or abusive(or avoiding people that are), you should be good.
go to a munch, ideally for a TNG or 101 group, let it be known you're new and want to explore from a toppy perspective. in most cases, this will lead to lots of people eager to, bare minimum, share stories.
>Right, Chloe? hehehehehehe.
Yes! Yep. Right. Definitely. I'm not going to go hide or anything. That laugh is not worrying at all!
But in all seriousness I'm happy to have been a part of that. <3
I'm going to try wax play, and I'm confused about the whole thing
I see drip, non drip, paraffin, non paraffin, scented and non scented, and everything.
What am I looking for, and where can I find it cheap that isn't a massive set of 50?
unscented plain parrafin uncoloured candles are best. Essentially, everything you add to it raises the temp, and it's already hot enough to start with, so a good beginner guideline is "get the cheapest, simplest candles you can".
I buy bulk packs of 40 from the local department store whenever they're on special, works perfectly
The thing you have to consider, especially with a design like this is whether or not you can slip out of it. Typically when there's a large gap between the ring and the cage like that it can be quite easy to wiggle out or even slip out under certain circumstances. Look for one with the ring and the cage closer together imo.
Also the chastity market is practically geared towards smaller men, don't worry about that so much. It really just depends on how much you're willing to spend on a cage as quality cages that'll last you a lifetime are going to cost more without exception. If you're looking to drop a ton of dosh on one I recommend the Holy Trainer, I've got rave reviews from people I've suggested it to.
>tfw will never be bound against a qt man or woman
>tfw we will never be forced into orgasm as we moan in pleasure together
Like seriously this is my biggest BDSM wish. It's high up on my bucket list for sure.
Just thought I'd pass along a little purchasing opportunity I've been made aware of...
Tantus is giving you 25% off their dildo lineup with the code FIERCE at checkout.
Seems like a pretty good selection, most of which will work with a harness. I have the P-spot already and can attest to its build quality, so I'm sure the rest of their selection is pretty solid.
Looking at the long Slow Drive or Sport currently.
Hope this helps!
I mean, you can do pseudo-HRT like pueraria mirifica for estrogen and stuff like saw palmetto for anti-androgen if you don't wanna go all the way with HRT but still want the mild feminizing effects. But you can do actual HRT without changing your biological gender, I'm sure a lot of transpeople might not agree with that but the pros can outweigh the cons if you're super super serious about feminization.
Also what's not to love about anything by Wokada~
Eh, I'd like to see how I feel after a couple months of gunning for trapmode. Is eight hours of workout/week enough?The thing is, I've got a masculine body, so I'm not sure it's worth it. How effective is pueraria mirifica/palmetto?
What I don't like is the expressions the ladies have in the original pictures, the pixillation and the postures, but other than that, it's nice.
If you want you could take Spiro, the antiandrogen drug. It's safe if you take a moderate dose and no estrogen. Any natural phytoestrogen will feminize you more without causing irreversible effects.
You'll have to elaborate on what you want me to elaborate on lol.
If you mean the pros and cons of Hormone Replacement Therapy then obviously the pros consist of things everyone talks about body hair loss, breast tissue growth, softening of features, redistribution of fat to more feminine areas, things like that.
The cons are essentially you going through a second female puberty, expect extreme mood swings and perhaps depression.
If you stick with it long enough studies show you'll typically become sterile and A debatable con is that after a certain amount of time most if not all of these changes (The was you look and think) are going to become permanent, so to some extent there's no going back 100% if you're on it long enough. You should really know what you're doing and probably talk to a real doctor before you begin an HRT regimen whether for either recreation/femnization or gender dysphoria reasons though.
Not to discredit you, anon but I'm not exactly sure about taking anti androgens like that without estrogen, from what I know doing that can hurt your body if you do it for an extended perioud of time. You need both estrogen and an anti-androgen for HRT, in the same way taking and sort of potent estrogen supplement without first lowering your testosterone would be a metaphorical equivalent of trying to break down a brick wall with a rubber mallet, testosterone overpowers estrogen and the whole ordeal would just make you feel shitty without the maximum possible positive effect.
Pueraria mirifica/ saw palmetto can be effective enough for what you want in temporary feminization coupled with a good diet and the right exercise it can really do wonders. I can recommend some doses for you iffin you want but it can get kidna expensive (~$30 per month) for the drugs to forewarn you.
Speaking of the natural herbs for phyto-estrogens and stuff, how much do you know about them? It's something I've been kind of curious about for a while now, but wanted some real advice before trying.
Specifically, I know I don't have gender dysphoria, so I'm not interested in HRT, but I really would like to look more feminine.
How do the natural herbs compare in terms of sterility and mental change risks?
From what I've read on other sites pueraria mirifica seems to be really powerful in terms of overall changes and breast growth. Is that true? If so, what's a milder option? Lower dosage only, or is there a better choice for something milder? Also, is taking an anti-androgen like Saw Palmetto going to do anything if you don't take a pseudoestrogen with it?
Also, yeah, what kind of dosages should one look at for different things/effects?
(And if not too prying, have you tried any of these yourself?)
>I can recommend some doses for you iffin you want but it can get kidna expensive (~$30 per month) for the drugs to forewarn you.
Yes, please if you don't mind
I don't know what I'm looking for really.
I was thinking of eating a lot of Soya beans, Puerarica mirifica (maybe Saw Palmetto) and MAYBE a very small dose of Spiro to reduce my testosterone levels slightly.
Do you think that would do anything?
Ehh, it wouldn't hurt. You're dealing with such low doses of the actual estrogens and whatnots it wouldn't REALLY matter but if you're treating it like actual HRT and taking the maximum doses it might be a good idea to be on the anti-androgens for a while before you start the pseudo-estrogen or actual estrogen for that matter if you chose to go down that path.
Phew. Well for starters I've done both actual HRT for a period of time and the pseudo-HRT regimen for quite some time, it's the only reason I feel I have ANY authority on the subject and I have to stress anyways that I'm totally not an actual medical practitioner so take my advice for what you will. As far as infertility goes on the natural herbs the risk is almost nonexistant, even on regular HRT it takes a long time for you to become sterile and you're dealing with much smaller doses of not the same things. The mental changes are still going to happen to some extent but not nearly as profoundly, if you're dosing high you're still going to find yourself occasionally crying for no reason and being upset at silly things and feeling down a lot, only to spontaneously bounce back. This probably varies from person to person but you're messing with your hormonal balance here so you can't just expect nothing to happen.
Contrary to what you've heard, pueraria mirifica isn't really POWERFUL by definition and it takes up to a week or two to notice ANY physical changes still if you don't feel comfortable with a high dose you can always lower it. Taking anti-androgens with no estrogen does "something", it succeeds in lowering your testosterone and allowing the estrogen your body produced natural take effect more, but lowering one of the two and not raising the other can be really bad for your health in the long term.
As for dosages of things:
Pueraria Mirifica 500-1500mg/day
Saw Palmetto 500-750mg/day
While you CAN take more pueraria than that in one day up to 2500mg I don't know as I'd recommend it because I haven't done it personally, I also hear spearmint tea can help but that might just be broscience. I wouldn't really mess too much with the dosing of the saw palmetto though.
Sure, I can't guarantee I'll get back to you instantly but I'll try to respond as best I can and answer any more questions, that goes openly to anyone who's curious about the matter because I gotta bounce now.
Thanks a lot for the advice! I'll probably e-mail with some more questions later then.
Also, welcome to the thread! Hope you enjoy it here. ^^
Hey, does anyone know any good sites other than fetlife/collarspace/recon for bondage/kink hookups? preferably free ones tho.
>HRT without changing your biological gender
It'll only completely alter your bodies chemical balance, change your personality, fubar your dick/sex drive, etc. But hey, playing with hormones is fun!
I like the binding looks very powerful, ferocious women.She looks ready to kill.But in fact could not resist
>$30 per month
When I was looking at Pueraria Mirifica and Saw Palmetto, they came to $14 and $16. But they were 610mg/180 Capsules and 540mg/250 Capsules each, which assuming you took 2 PM capsules a day, and 1 Saw Palmetto, that would last you 90 days until the PM ran out.
theres where the source SHOULD be but the account looks like it was deleted.
But heres the collection of the artists stuff on Gelbooru
I'm not really someone who can tell others what to do, but I really really REALLY recommend against messing with your hormone levels if you are not experiencing gender dysphoria. Even if it sounds good, there are countless reasons both medical and personal that that is a recipe for disaster.
For starters, HRT is hell on your kidneys, increases your chance of breast cancer well above and beyond what it is in cis women, and skyrockets your odds of suffering from any number of possibly fatal things, like a pulmonary embolism for example. As much as the gatekeeping for HRT harms trans people, there is a reason you have to jump through hoops to get this stuff legally.
On top of that, the mental changes you'll face shouldn't be understated. For someone suffering from dysphoria this is the difference between feeling awful just, all the time and feeling normal. But if you don't have dysphoria you risk submitting yourself to well, exactly the thing that causes gender dysphoria in the first place. That's why some people get on HRT, and within the first month or two realize they totally hate it and don't want to transition. Because it /will/ have adverse effects on you if you don't need it.
Not to mention that some of the effects are permanent physical effects. Developing breast tissue for example is wonderful if you are actually transitioning, but if you intend to go back from that at all, now you have permanent tissue. As well as things like sterility. Please be VERY careful!
>increases your chance of breast cancer well above and beyond what it is in cis women
I was unaware that there was a difference in breast cancer rates between straight women and gay. Or any other "type" of woman for that matter. Perhaps you meant biological female to be hugbox correct? Or perhaps plain old female would suffice.
>using CIS unironically
... If it talks like a duck...
Thank you for your concern. I am going to try a month of half-doses of pueraria/palmetto, and 8 hours of workout/week, and will see how it feels. Mostly for aesthetic pleasure, but also for research. Deus vult.
Fuck off with your false dichotomy right there, m9. Because there are a good number of trans folks who lurk/post in the general, the use of cis with regard to gender is not irrelevant. In any case, simply acknowledging that transgender-ness exists does not an SJW make. That's /b/-tier logic. Whatever next, you're going to accuse an organic chemist of being an SJW because he mentions an experiment he did on cis 2,5-diheptanoct-3-ene?
Actually, you are correct. Having looked up breast cancer rates in trans people, the most reputable articles seem to say that there's not enough data to be able to say whether trans people suffer increased rates of breast cancer (when compared with cis women, at least.), unless they started HRT at an early age.
As for my using the word 'cis', I was unaware that the use of a single word can tie me into a whole social movement and line of thinking.
A word is just a word, and this particular one is useful for differentiating between trans people and non trans people.
>I was unaware that the use of a single word can tie me into a whole social movement and line of thinking.
Obviously. Hence my pointing it out. It is another example of pandering and yet another avenue to the lowest common denominator.
>Fuck off with your false dichotomy right there
Perhaps you should look into an basic biology textbook. The human species is dichotomous. Anything else is a fuck up whether a person has the mental fortitude to accept that fact or not is on them. A car part out of spec is not some magical new part. It's a mistake. Shit happens and life sucks but pretending to be a special snowflake and forcing it upon others just makes them resent it even more.
I know I really shouldn't ask this question, but how is using the word cis to differentiate between trans people and non trans people in any way pandering? It's just a short easy to use word for something that would otherwise take a couple more. It's practically the same reason we use contractions.
Either way, I'm sorry you don't like the way I talk. But I don't think I've done anything wrong, and I've got no intention to argue any further about it. So! Here, have some porn! <3
I suppose it's helped me accept who I am, I have some "out there" fetishes and before I met my sub,
I would deny those parts of me existed with would make frustrated and make me feel like I was wrong in some way
Now that I have a sub who likes the kind of things I like it's much better.
Confidence was something I've always lacked and being able to be in that position has made it better, it was slow at first every session ended with me saying sorry for half an hour, but it got better
>Shit happens and life sucks but pretending to be a special snowflake and forcing it upon others just makes them resent it even more.
As a matter of fact, no. You're wrong. Look up the 1995 studt by Zhou, Hofman, Gooren, and Swaab on BStc.
Here, have some articles.
Some people have this frankly hilarious assumption that because everyone is equal, everyone "deserves" "equal" treatment.
Then again, these are the sorts of idiots who want to strip the disabled of their rights.
Also, mfw weather. Why am I insisting on wearing T-shirts every day?
I really have no comment on that! I really try to stay as far as I can away from these kinds of arguments. Or arguments in general really.
You're lucky to be cold! I want to build a blanket fort, but our room is too hot every day. I also got a few adorable scarves but I've only been able to wear them once or twice. But, summer is ending, and our room just heats up a lot for no reason. It's really not that bad outside, never goes above 80.
Thanks for the pron. Have some yourself, although it's more likely something Lost Sub: now with 78% more dick fantasizes about.
The short of the long is that it's usage came about from people arguing (incorrectly) that the human species is not dichotomous along with the idea that there is no normal. The latter of which largely comes to the fore, as shown by Lost Sub: now with 78% more dick, as a reaction to claimed or presumed hurt feelings. Given the broad nature of SJW and that most people will internalize ideas without even realizing it (i.e. why advertising works) it is a very safe assumption that some one who uses terms such as cis, if they don't actually think of themselves as SJW, have internalized enough of the ideals/thoughts that there is little to no difference.
As to pandering, if some one is told everything is okay and normal when it simply is not, what else would you call it?
I skimmed a couple. I noticed glaring issues with their samples, sample size, testing methodologies, etc. Several of which didn't even refer to trans except as a single usage. However, the pretending refers to the "special snowflake", not that there is or is not some issue with their brain.
And others have the thought that other peoples rights end where another persons feelings begin.
Well, like I said. I really don't intend to argue. I was just curious how using a single word could be called pandering.
I think you're making an awful lot of assumptions about me based on that, but... well, you're free to think what you want about me!
So, more porn.
I don't see answering a query as argument and while at least one assumption is made it's not a general one with high reliability, not a personal one.
moar pron indeed.
Eh, arguments are fun, especially with contrarians. But there comes a point where they're just too uninformed to be fun.
All these assumptions. I do not deny that "normality" exists. It does. The perceived normal person is a white straight male and that's more or less fine with me. While I believe that biological gender is more or less dichotomous, with the anomalies of intersexuality, a person can be either comfortable with the body they were born with, or they are not, and who are you to deny them the ability to change that?
Furthermore, who are you to define what is normal and okay? Why are you even here, the centre of /d/egeneracy?
What I was stating was that with regard to transgender, they are not pretending, and therefore don't really deserve being called "special snowflakes" because their problems are quite real. Despite this, I hold otherkin with a similar derision that I hold fascists.
So just like conservatives with regard to abortion or gay marriage? Or how people get pissy because they can't call black people niggers?
I really should stop getting into these arguments, it's really shitting up the thread.
>Or how people get pissy because they can't call black people niggers?
What's wrong with that? The use of a single word doesn't tie people into a whole social movement and line of thinking.
>The use of a single word doesn't tie people into a whole social movement and line of thinking.
No, a single word doesn't. It's the behaviour. Unless I'm heavily mistaken, the use of racial slurs implies a hatred, dislike or subconcious fear of certain minority groups. Such animosity in 21st century America is often heavily associated with the (far) right. While it doesn't directly tie people to a social movement/line of thinking, the use of slurs is heavily associated with such groups.
So, to clarify
>Using the word "nigger" (when you aren't a black person) heavily implies that you don't like black people, because it's a charged word with a history of being used as a slur.
>Most if not all far right groups in the US dislike minorities.
>From an American perspective, if a white person calls a black person a nigger, that white person is racist/fascist, even if they aren't.
Also, it's rude.
I would not describe myself as normal, and I do not mind telling those that would tell me I am (and are aware of any number of conditions that prove them otherwise) that they are wrong. So, your assumption was incorrect.
No, it doesn't. You can say that word without being a racist. There are contexts in which it is not meant to offend anyone. The intent behind it is what is important. You sometimes can not say that word without being perceived as a racist. But that is the same problem which caused you to perceive me as a SJW, for my single word.
Something I've noticed from reading Bataille in both English and the original is that the former is a lot more crude than the latter:
> Il faisait extrêmement chaud. Simone plaça l’assiette sur un petit banc, s’installa devant moi, et ne quittant pas mes yeux s’assit sans que je pusse la voir sous sa jupe tremper ses fesses brûlantes dans le lait frais
>The day was extremely hot. Simone put the saucer on a small bench, planted herself before me, and, with her eyes fixed on me, she sat down without my being able to see her burning buttocks under the skirt, dipping into the cool milk.
Is it just me or is the latter a ton more lewd?
>Oswald "The Penguin" Cobblepot is very submissive, begs to be a slave at one point
FOX why do you do this to me.
Nope. I very rarely visit boards other than /d/. When I do, I rarely post, and when I post I never use a name.
Must be a different person with the same moniker! Sorry to disappoint!
It's a common, and adorable, name
One of my pets goes by it, cute to see another kinky Chloe
Oh, thank you! Mistress gave me my name, so I like it a whole lot! It's something precious to me. <3
I'm the fake HRT guy from last night, no sense in using a name that doesn't suit me so I'll use this one instead.
The prices are obviously going to vary, I bought a three pack 200 pills each of 500mg of pueraria for like $150, and I buy the saw palmetto from a local GNC shop which is fairly expensive so needless to say for me it averages out to that, if you can get it cheaper more power to you.
If I didn't make it obvious all these points you make go without saying, you can't expect to tweak with your body chemistry and expect no ill side-effects. Things like spironolactone can cause many problems especially in your heart and kidneys and it's been said that the induction of estrogen can hurt your immune system among other things that wreak havoc on your body, prescribed HRT should be discussed with your doctor and should not be taken lightly.
That all being said the herbal supplements being discussed are something of a pseudoscience, things like phytoestrogen, sitosterol, and the 5-alpha reductase enzyme aren't substitutable for actual HRT and certainly don't effect the body in the same way, the level of danger for the doses of what you're getting over-the-counter from places like amazon and GNC are pretty negligible.
She has good taste sweetie, and it sounds like you earned it.
It's good that you're proud of that name, others share the one but the meaning behind yours is only yours, so treasure it
>How has BDSM changed your life for the better, directly or indirectly?
It helped me find lovers, friends, people who enjoy my fetishes, and brought me some of the best times of my life.
Though it also brought me and, at times, those around me a lot of heartache. I'm still navigating through that...
If you're trans the name is even more important, so I'm glad you have a good one babe
I named my trans girlfriend/main kitty, she used to post on here under the name fey if you remember that. She was using it as a steam and 4chan username but it was too cute to leave it there, so we're having her legal name changed to it when we get her gender changed too
>So, your assumption was incorrect.
Feel free to think so : ) . There is a reason I went into internalization vs. cognizant group association.
>Most if not all far right groups in the US dislike minorities.
>can't differentiate between dislike of minorities and dislike of people who don't pull their own weight in society
>can't differentiate between speaking in general and in specific
Yeah, definitely. I just don't want anyone to go and start ordering these things from the same places people go to self med, without being 100% sure and knowing the risks and consequences. This isn't exactly safe stuff. It has permanent possibly life altering effects. I'm glad you're urging caution as well!
Also, welcome to the thread!
Oh, thank you! Making me blush!
I will treasure it!
Mine isn't legal yet either, sadly. Having to go to court over it is a real pain, and getting things changed on forms like drivers licenses and so on can be a real pain. But I'm lucky enough that my old name is a girls name anyway. I just don't like it.
Well, if you're going to argue that I belong to a group while not being aware of it, there is no real way I can prove you wrong. Because by the nature of the accusation, any evidence I'd bring up is irrelevant. So, have some porn.
Also, we're at the post limit and then some. So, new thread is up!
>Well, if you're going to argue that I belong to a group while not being aware of it, there is no real way I can prove you wrong
You can but current evidence is largely in my "arguments" favor
Enjoy your new thread. Good question.