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ITT: Idiot stories. Whether something you've...
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ITT: Idiot stories. Whether something you've done yourself, or watched someone else do, tell 'em here.

>Earlier today
>Nephew comes over to work on his car, since "You've got a ton of tools, uncle Anon
>I figure he's changing his radio, or replacing a headlight or something
>I'm in the garage too, tinkering with shit
>"Oh, shit"
>Turn around to find my nephew had slipped a pipe over my nice craftsman 3/8ths inch ratchet, to break a rusty bolt on one of his car tires
>Took the ratchet apart to find the ratched mechanism had been stripped
If the idiot had just asked me, I would've given him my 4' breaker bar to use, or would've gotten out my impact wrench.

The worst part is that Sears doesn't have that model or it's parts in stock anymore, since it's a 40+ year old ratchet.
In b4 someone 'hurr, if it wasn't crapsman it wouldn't have stripped'
>Go to change my cousins oil on her 10thousand mile pathfinder today
>get underneath and start ratcheting off the transmission bleed bolt
>special CVT fluid coming out
>surprised it was 3/4 bolt, pretty large for oil.
>Poured fluid back in some hole
>Changed oil
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>Join Army.
>Never even had a driver's license before let alone service an engine.
>First job is driver of an M1068, which is an M113 tracked APC with an enlarged cargo area. Pic related
>First job as drive is to service the vehicle under guidance from previous driver.
>Oil and oil filter change, great.
>Previous driver was just promoted to Sergeant, ain't got time to help some PV2 do preventive maintenance checks and services, hands me the manual and literally tells me 'now fuck off.'
>Can't be so hard right? Read manual, seems super easy, just dirty.
>Can't get the fucking oil filter unscrewed to drain the oil.
>Ask mechanic for help, he brings strap wrench, we still can't get it off.
>He gets his boss, boss gets a hammer and a large screwdriver, Hammers said screwdriver through the oil filter and the two of them manage to unscrew it.
>Draining oil into bucket. Its very much like tar. Coal black and moves slowly. About 2/3rds as much oil comes out as should.
>Mechanic boss is not pleased, talks with my Platoon Sergeant, has me as 'the witness.'
>I spent the first half of my day under a tacked vehicle in 90 degree weather in Texas trying to remove an oil filter.
>I spend the second half of my day walking around an increasing number of Sergeant as we attempt to find my Sergeant, who was the guy supposed to be doing the PMCS on this vehicle for the last two years.
>Motherfucker is nowhere to be found and this was before cell phones were a thing.
>Sergeant shows up about 10 minutes prior to end of day formation.
>Platoon Sergeant asks 'Where have you been?", He says "Down at the motor pool helping do PMCS on the vehicle.'
>Platoon Sergeant smiles like a crocodile.
>Many things come to light in the following days.
>Long story short Sergeant becomes PVT, I now outrank him. He loses *a lot* of pay.
>Spends next 9 months on permanent CQ duty; 24 hours on, 24 hours off. Always pulls Saturday.
>His enlistment contract ends, he is not given the option to Re-Up.
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I have many, but the one that stands out is back in Boy Scouts on a cookory.

I was making a trifle and had just finished using all of the whip-cream. I turned around and put the empty can on the table behind me, then turned back to start shaving the chocolate. No sooner had I done so I heard this odd hissing and chocking sound behind me. I turn to find a boy with the whip-cream can halfway down his throat and as purple as a grape. It takes both hands a a good deal of force to dislodge it. Once he recovered I asked what had happened to which he informed me he was just trying to eat some whip-cream.

That day I dealt with A LOT of stupidity and that one whip-cream can somehow managed to nearly killed at least 3 people and seriously injure a dozen more.
holy shit. love stories like that.
>special needs boyscouts.jpg
Seriously, what, a can of whipped cream.
I feel for you, especially given how crap the modern Craftsman ratchets are.
>working in machine shop
>new guy comes, he's big as an ox
>he comes 45 minutes before anyone else everyday (flexitime)
>I arrive early everyday one week and find he takes a 45 minute crap on the clock everyday

this guy's farts would clear a room with 15 foot ceilings

>old horizontal band saw is low on cutting fluid
>ox genius empties it and fills with diesel
>saw running, his back to it, saw and ox genius on fire now

>ox genius decides to clean up the shop one day
>find a 100L drum filled with wrenches, machine parts, NIB bearings, all kind of shit
>ask boss if he really wants to chuck that stuff, I would take it
>boss is French and goes into orbit, never heard a man scream so loudly and so high pitched
>ox genius "wtf if it isn't making you money it's costing money"

yeah, if it's a 500K buck CNC with a note to pay
To his credit he had the whole shop over several times for a dinner party and we got trashed on his absinthe
I was once at a party where they threw a bunch of cans at a fire. No idea what was in them, but the explosion was huge. Had tinnitus for a while after that.

Also, the shrapnel was huge, and deadly. Pierced clean through the garden furniture, and got stuck in the walls of the house. We were lucky someone didn't die.
same shop, different guy

>kid is 22-23
>drives a Volvo station wagon
>we get big snow every year, 4 story building with pitched roof, no parking along pitched side
>kid parks his car there anyway
>we step out for a smoke, sunny day, tell kid I'd move that car if I was him
>"nah, that snow isn't moving
>he heads in, I finish my smoke, hear a crack, all the snow and ice comes down EXACTLY along the middle of his car, like in a movie

He was a nice kid so we worked together on it and got it straight enough to put another windshield, rear door, etc in it. Looked like shit though.

>same kid, working on jig borer
>scope in the spindle
>scope costs 2500 bucks
>kid hits the spindle green button without thinking
>bye bye beautiful Hensoldt scope
your ratchet was due for replacement.
I've applied 800nm to a ratchet from a no-name generic socket set and it worked fine. it failed at 1600nm.
>take apart laptop
>ALWAYS have extra screws when I put it back together
First car. 15 year old POS Ford Escort 1100cc. Take engine apart for new bearings, decoke etc. Put engine back together but have assorted bolts left over.

Do 30,000 miles on that engine before chucking it and putting in a 1600cc one.
>taking apart a goped to fix it up
>start taking off bolts holding brake rotor on
>not realizing they hold a two piece wheel hub together
>35psi inner tube explodes, breaking the aluminum wheel hup, jamming my knuckle and cutting my finger open

No idea how I didn't see that coming. It just hadnt even crossed my mind until the instant it happened. All kinds of stupid shit has happened to me.
Everyone knows that feel.
>>old horizontal band saw is low on cutting fluid
>>ox genius empties it and fills with diesel
>>saw running, his back to it, saw and ox genius on fire now

this reminds me of some caveman comic where "ugg" tries to make fire and ends up lighting himself and everything other than the fireplace or some shit.
>guy I know, in his 50s, smart, skilled
>buys sliding miter saw for some remodeling
>test cut
>left hand on board right in front of blade
>forgot it was a sliding saw

I saw him about a week after he cut his hand in half. It was back together, prediction was maybe 10% utility. A year later he was at that or a little more, this was 10 years ago and haven't seen him since the last time, he might have gotten to 50%. Cut right through the middle.
This on?
How the hell do you manage to do something like that? Was he like super-eager to use it and not notice it going into his hand?
I had an old teacher nailing boards together with a nailgun, and he was in a hurry, so he leaned down on the boards, and just raced across the surface with the gun. Apparently he forgot that his hand was at the end of the board, and he nailed himself to the boards.

Even funnier is that he was alone at the time, so he had to use his other hand and a hammer to jig the nails out of his hand.
I really don't know. This was a really sharp dude, maybe that was the problem his mind was all over details and not on the big picture.
>Cut right through the middle.
longitudinally or laterally?
Exept me. I'm a massive autist, I never forget where my screws go.
I don't understand shit

>freshman EE working at co-op employer
>trying to debug a dead carbon-arc lamp driver
>checking various voltages with nice o-scope
>decide to check voltage at lamp leads during startup impulse

Turns out the internal impedance of that particular scope was below the lamp's. Scope did light up, but only briefly
>45 minute on the clock crap
If you DONT do this YOU are the retard. Why would you waste your time shitting when you can waste somebody elses? Everything else you said makes him the retard.
>working in diesel garage
>Heating up a 3/4" shock mounting bolt.
>Heat it cherry red.
>Take impact, zap the nut off.
>Start looking around for something to use to push the bolt through the shock.
>Idiot standing next to me.
>"what's the problem? Just grab it and push it through!"
>He grabs the bolt.
>standing 5 feet away, but i can clearly hear his skin sizzling.
>"Ow!!!!!!! What the fuck! Why didn't you tell me it's hot!?!?!"
>"You just stood there and watched me heat it with a torch idiot!"
>"Yeah but...but....you didn't tell me it's hot!"
>Idiot complained to my boss.
>I got wrote up for it.

Eventually got fired from that place, but whatever, was a shitty job anyway.
Another one, something i did that was pretty fucking dumb.

>Simple job
>Guy is out in the parking lot, just needs a new CTS changed in an ancient n-14 engine.
>Had about 4 other things to do.
>Doing this as favor to foreman, supposed to take 5 minutes.
>Run out to the lot, in a hurry to get this done.
>Put a wrench on the CTS and unscrew it.
>Instantly, and without warning i'm covered by the geyser of coolant that sprays out of the engine.
>I forgot to take the radiator cap off.

Luckily, the engine was only lukewarm. If it had been a hot engine, i would have had 2nd and 3rd degree burns over my entire body.
PVT(formerly SGT)Fuckup didn't do preventative maintenance for a really long time.
>working on my wife's Oldsmobile Achieva
>trying to find source of water on floorboards
>jack up car using scissors jack
>start pulling on something
>car rocks, falls off jack
>I'm still underneath with my hand in the engine bay
>manage to get my arm in an open space to avoid crushing it
>praise Jesus there was enough ground clearance for me not to die

Lesson learned. Always use jack stands. Always.
Steam is nasty thing. Also fresh bamboo makes an epic pipe bomb if you toss it Into a fire with its nodes still intact...
I've broken a ratchet in similar fashion, only it was my first brake job, and I didn't have any better tools for the job. I had to borrow my parents van to buy another ratchet.

I've had to use the screw driver and hammer method to remove an oil filter before, but then I learned to just hand tighten the oil filter and not wrench it on.
you never speed in a company vehicle, on company time.
You never shit on your own time, if possible.
At least they'll give you a reasonable facsimile. Always a shame to lose a classic tool though. They could never truly replace it.

>be me, ~14 years old
>walking innawoods, find metal milk jug
>not rusted through anywhere, just an old gnarly wire around the middle
>no pliers in pocket, only a stubby flat headed screwdriver
>stick screwdriver under wire, twist a few times
>don't wanna punch a hole in the jug by prying with screwdriver
>pull with all my might
>screwdriver slips out of wire
>stab self between the eyes

Lessons learned, 2.
1) use PPE.
2) use the right tool for the job at hand.
>13 years old
>Want to build a matchlock musket
>Get firecrackers and start emptying gunpowder
>Mom sees me and forces me to throw that shit away
>Pissed off, think of another way to make a propellant
>put rubbing alcohol in a milk jug and put a match to it
>burn half my hand
It hurt like a bitch for a couple of weeks afterwards, it was kind of awkward whenever somebody asked me how half my hand was red
Didn't stop me from making my musket in secret though.
you'll change your tune when you blow an oil filter off because it was only hand tight.
not that guy but I've never had an oil filter fall off. I only hand tighten them. changed about 20 oil filters in my life on various cars and never had a problem.
when it happens, it HAPPENS
Stop getting drunk when you change the oil in your truck, dad.
>12 years old working as a tow truck driver with my uncle in California
>Get a call for a jump in a very rich area (Skywalker ranch vicinity)
>While we are jumping the car, a well dressed black man comes up to us
>Tells us he has an old Porsche he doesn't want anymore, asks us how much we would charge to tow it away
>Says we can just have it if we want it, sings it over to us
>It has been sitting parked for six years, covered in mold
>Uncle says we can't just clean the interior, otherwise it might always have the mold smell
>Has me take it apart. Every engine component, the carpeting, side panels, wires, every little thing right down to the frame disassembled in a giant heap in our yard
>I scrub every single component clean
>Time to put it back together
>Oh shit

Sat there for two years covered in a tarp until the city came out and junked it all for violating yard grooming regulations. Wealthy black man gave us a gem, and us white trash niggers couldn't handle it.
Rode my grandmother's dolly down a hill for fun as a young kid. Small wheels at the top broke off. Wanted to glue them back on before she noticed, but we didn't have any. Tried to glue it with honey instead. Then put it out in the sun thinking it would make the honey harden. Of course did not, and she came home to find her broken dolly out in the driveway with honey all over it. She didn't beat me or anything, probably because it was just so fucking bizarre/stupid she didn't know how to react.
Fucking laptops mang. I work in IT and have had to take apart maybe 100 over the eyars. Every fucking time I end up destroying some component inside by accident. Every laptop is different and they each have their own fucked up system for making everything fit.
Father cut his middle finger off by accident with a table saw. There was some safety guard he was supposed to use but didn't. Doctors kept him waiting in the lobby of the hospital holding his finger for six hours. By the time they admitted him it was too late, told him they could re-attach it but it would never function again. Since he is an electrician he could not have a dead finer getting in the way, so opted just to leave it off. That was 20 years ago, since then his hand has grown together almost completely and he basically has a Simpsons hand.
>home-a-rama development
>delivering cabinets
>installer from another company is working 3 houses down
>hits a copper pipe with a screw
>STROLLS down to our house where the builder is and tells him what happened
>Friend wants to work on his car
>Snow all over driveway
>Friend pours a can of gas on his drive to burn the snow away and clear a space to work
>Gas hollowed out a hidden canal under the snow and all dripped over to the side of his house
>He lights it, fire travels under the snow directly to his house and immediately ignites the entire wall in a huge blast
>Burns his house down

Sadly this actually happened.
>be 10
>backyard neighbor rakes up shit ton of leaves into giant pile
>pile is like 6 feet high, 15 feet wide
>two gallon can of gasoline sprinkled all over
>he goes in for a match or whatever, takes 10 minutes, my dad says "watch what happens son"
>we're inside watching, dad explains the gas is all vapor now and this is going to be a fucking leaf bomb
>match lit, fucking BOOM, pile is gone, dude is yards away, unhurt except for his ears
>then get a cool lecture about different fuels and how they work (dad could make this stuff interesting)
Time to buy an Armstrong ratchet to replace it
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>scissor jack
how do you feel about this?
heh, yep, shot my left index finger with a nail gun, it didn't go all the way through, i pulled the gun away just as i realized what was about to happen, so it was just in my finger, still had to use a pair of pliers to pull the bitch out, i just pulled it out and put a bandage over it and was too embarrassed to tell anyone what i did

i also smashed a piggy bank with my bare hand, saw the tendon to my right thumb, and basically said yep, time to go to the hospital it only took 6 stitches, i almost severed the tendon and artery

i know people that blew the tips of their fingers off with pressure washers, and a guy that used tempered sockets with an impact wrench
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I've closed a hood on my hand.
I was tired and on this particular car you need to hold the secondary latch open for the hood to close completely. After a whole bunch of cussing, gf drove me to the hospital and thankfully nothing was broken or severely damaged.
>she had to learn to drive stick to take me there.
If it were chinese craftsman, it wouldnt have lasted 40+ years.
someone didnt reinstall the latch properly when they fucked with the radiator.
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nope. It had minor front end damaged that bent the latch and pushed the bar on which the latch sits too far into the engine bay. It rubed against the ring on the hood, and this was made even worse by having the hood fly up on me. I've since fixed it, but the panels no longer align as well as they used to.
>inb4 pic pledges allegiance to Australia.
Lube the rubber seal with new oil, hand tight and then one half turn
Wont ever come off, will be tight enough you need a strap wrench when you replace it.
there you go. i was a professional mechanic for several years and not once did I or anyone in the shops where I worked use a tool for tightening a filter except in rare cases where you just couldn't get your hands on it, then it was still "hand tight".
*screams inernally*

I've actually used one like that on a Mercedes.
Back in 08-09 I was doing a lot of trading on craigslist.
>see ad for 700$ 2WD v8 Dodge Ram in very bad part of town
>show up, lots of rust, rear window broken out, bed is thrashed, see faded company logo on the side as its an old work truck
>had been in a minor fender bender in the front, grill was missing.

Gas was over 5$ a gallon at this point, literally the most expensive it has ever been where I lived, was the peak before it slowly went down.

>lady cant afford to drive it, has bills, truck was vandalized (rear window)
>I talked her down to 400$.
>ugly as hell but 360 runs strong, has a strong transmission

The fender bender that took out the grill ripped the hood latch off, so the previous owner used rope to hold it down.

>dad says he will strap it down better, I tell him to piss off and not touch my stuff
>drive it to work the next day with no insurance no plates (swapped old ones on it)
>hood flies up and wrecks the windshield and demolishes the top of the cab.

Luckily I live in a small town and just skipped work and drove it home.
I was on a 2 lane highway and lucky I didnt fly into the 10 foot ditch and roll the fucker.

Those hoods are heavy as fuck and the cab was so messed up I couldnt have put a new windshield in it if I wanted.

Sold it like a month later for 500$ to a guy who wanted the engine.
I wish I had pics, but I didnt actually have a cell phone back then so I never took pics of stuff.
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that's sad. Most sedan hood are designed in such a way that when they do fly off they bend in such a way that leave a decent gap out of which you can see. To me it happened while merging into a freeway which was luckily empty. Pulled off to the side and in my anger, bent the hood back into place, and bent the latch back into position(broke a nail and bled all over the inside of the car later)
Only to have the turbo shit all 4.3qts of oil into the intake manifold a weeks later...
He could have told the neighbor.

CSB time:

My parents purchased a brand new 2003-2004ish Toyota Camry back in the day. I took it to get it's very first oil change at the local Wal-Mart. This car had about 2500 or 3000 miles on it. Now, Wal-Mart doesn't have a reputation for greatness, but this particular location seemed to be competent.

I get the job done, and drive off. I'm about a mile down the road, doing 40mph, when I hear a thunk under the car. I figure I hit something, but I can't see anything on the road behind me. I scan all my gauges anyway. The low oil light is on.

I'm in traffic, but I pull over as quickly as is safe. I slow down to nearly a stop. I'm now on the side of the road, on a slight uphill incline, and I want to clear a driveway that I'm blocking, so I give it just a little gas.

Nothing happens.

The engine feels like it's giving zero power. There is no sound. I look at the gauges again and there's zero RPM, low oil light still on, temperature warning is on. I jump out of the car to push it past the driveway and my girlfriend hops into the driver's seat.

Another guy sees what's happening and pulls over to help me muscle it up the hill. I didn't even see it, but he points out that there's a stream of engine oil flowing out from underneath the car. We get it towed.

Post-mortem, the fuel filter had fallen off and the engine had run without oil for about 60 seconds. The brand-new engine had completely seized up. None of the mechanics were able to pull it apart, much less figure out whether anything was salvageable. Wal-Mart accepted full responsibility for the incident and replaced the engine with a comparable like-new engine that was a little more powerful and had about 1500 miles on it.

That's my cautionary tale boys and girls. If your fuel filter falls off, you can scrap your engine in less than a minute.

Anybody who sews for any length of time is liable to put a sewing machine needle through their finger. You get to a level of proficiency, the motions become natural, and you tend to forget what your hands are doing.

My wife did this to herself a few months ago. The needle went through her fingernail, through the finger, and snapped into three pieces, with one piece left inside her. We tried getting it out but it hurt like a bitch and wasn't anywhere near the surface.

We went to an urgent care place. They took an x-ray and she somehow miraculously had missed the tip of her finger bone by about a millimeter. They used their industrial strength anesthetic to numb the finger and then had their ER nurse fish it out.

Also, my wife let it sit in her finger for about 8 hours while I was out and about. She said it only really hurt when she put pressure on it. I got back when it was late, so we slept overnight and want to the doctor the next morning. I would have been a huge sissy about it.
>work in fashion design company
>New sample machinist comes one day
>usual training person away so I have to show her the ropes
>she threads machine wrong so have to redo it for her
>starts sewing but freaks out at speed and pulls on fabric as it tries to feed through machine
>needle jams and snaps with so much force the whole arm disintegrates and shoots off across the room
>whole machine completely destroyed
>she keeps trying to sew anyway
>have to repeatadly scream at her to stop
>turns out she lied about her machining experience and had only ever used a domestic machine
and not so much a fail but I'm an oh&s Nazi and half the time I've seen someone use a fabric cutter (these things can cut 100 layers of denim like butter) they're wearing the chainmail glove on the hand holding the machine instead of the hand manipulatating the fabric right in front of the blade
Freaks me the fuck out
>Fuel filter
Pick one dude. A missing fuel filter wont fuck with your oil. It has nothing to do with your oil.
>working on 8 foot 96 dodge grand caravan
>heavy, van is very low to ground, my jack stands were old and much too tall to use.
>quickly trying to replace the brake pads in an hour or so.
>for some reason, and I dont remember why, we used a crappy scissor jack
>regular jack wasnt very good in the first place
>first side was done
>other sides tire was off, I was under the hood looking at something
>feel the car slightly shift under my hands
>I say to myself "what the fuck", then in an instant van hits the concrete.

It slipped off, bending and crushing the scissor jack.
It would have seriously maimed or killed if I had been touching the brakes...

I bought ramps and chocks for most of my work now, I also got a full set of 3 ton and 6 ton stands and a decent jack for when I need them.

It was a scary ordeal, I was just getting into working on my own car at that point. I try to take my time and really understand what im doing now, even if it takes a lot of time to work on stuff.
>brand new car with 2500 miles on it
>take it to walmart to get the oil changed

Taking it to walmart would have invalidated any manufacturers warranty the car had, you have to take them to the dealership to have minor work like that done.

With that said, a lot of stealerships arent much better than a walmart/jiffylube place.

Regardless, if you properly lubricate the gasket and hand tighten the 1/2 to a full turn after it touches, it will NEVER come off. Its actually what the oil filter manufacturers tell you to do.

Your filter simply wasnt installed correctly.
What fucked up health system do you have?
Im guessing triage kept him in the waiting room for 6 hours
And the hospital was a lot more lenient on who they took in and how much work they did on you 20 years ago.

If you arent in trauma or having a heart attack, they get you in and get you out. Shooh you away with "follow up with your doctor", or a referral to a specialist and a prescription.

Hell even with how much they try and get everyone out nowadays, you still have some real bad wait times. I cut myself to the bone with a razor and sat for close to an hour dripping blood off of a rag because more severe patients were there.
The neighbor was an asshole and my dad enjoys morbid humor.
Story semirelated,

>be me
>about 2 years ago
>there have been boar sightings (boars are fairly rare in my area)
>it's kind of a big story in the news
>nobody managed to get them on tape
>me and friend decide to set up cameras
>we want to sell the material to the news and make some money
>set up camera
>make soup on esbit stove
>it's getting dark.jpg
>want to make a torch by smearing resin on a stick
>can't find any resin
>want to split stick and put esbit in between the pieces
>knive goes out of the stick and onto my thumb
>should have listened to my dad: "never cut towards you, son"
>can't move thumb over a certain degree anymore
>bleed like fuck
>get the hell out of the forest
>go to hospital
>doctor actually stays longer to do the stitches (9)
>could have something to do with my mom working there
I was cutting guitar patch cables with a razor blade.
I was pushing the cable onto the blade softly with my thumb.
Several cuts when fine, was a kinda dull blade, pushed too hard and it went straight into my thumb

Was the dumbest way to ever need stitches, and it bled like a bitch.
I have no feeling in the very tip of my thumb and it gets weird and tingly from time to time.
How did they even fuck up something as simple as an oil filter? They shouldn't just fall off like that.
>Taking it to walmart would have invalidated any manufacturers warranty the car had
Old wives tail. You will not, by law, invalidate your vehicles warranty by taking it to a non-dealership service place. Thats just stupid shit car dealerships tell people to scare them into paying more for a service. Hell, some car makers are trying to make it illegal for anyone but the dealership to work on a car at all. Its all just greedy bullshit.
>me in highschool
>go to woodwork lab
>kid affixes table leg to lathe and turns it on
>he's wearing gloves
>call out to him
>he calls me a faggot and says something about wanting to keep his hands safe
>glove gets caught in chuck
>he gets pulled in
>glove rips off and only breaks his fingers
>he goes into shock and throws a fit saying he's going to sue the school
>there was a sign saying no gloves or long sleeve shirts right infront of him
I was cutting the handle off a knife on the bandsaw when I slipped right through the plastic and into my thumb. I could open like a mouth. Was bleeding like a bitch and the little brother of sayd friend ripped open the stitches while messing around. So I can't feel with the tip of my thumb as well.
>going to sue the school
Why is this so many peoples first instinct? He was the fuck up, not the school.

>American I bet
Dubs speak truth
>Why is this so many peoples first instinct?

Why was he using gloves with a lathe?
He is stupid.

oil filter, sorry

Doesn't matter where you take it, or do it yourself, the warranty won't be voided.
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fucking walmart

friend of mine dropped his car off at walmart to rotate tires (he had a gift card from his b-day), I live near there so I picked him up and we grabbed a coffee, hung out for an hour or so.

his phone rings, cars ready, we get back to wally mart and enter through the shop door, I stop and my friend keeps walking, and I start laughing my ass off. my buddy and the "mechanic" look at me with a stupid look, my buddy glances at his car and screams "WHAT THE FUCK!?!"

moron put the tires on BACKWARDS, not tread backwards, the fucking rims were backwards, wish I took a pic of that but I couldn't stop laughing at this fucken guy

turns out it was his first day (first few hours to be exact) and the "real mechanic" who was supposed to be training him disappeared for a few hours

>live in suburban middle income housing division
>evry weekend thinking of ways to blow things up or set shit on fire
>just because bored teenager and shit
>decide to make "gasoline bomb"
>take large cooking pot
>fill with gasoline
>around dusk
>deploy said device in center of main intersection of neighborhood
>put it in the middle of the street
>light bomb
>mfw no big "explosion"
>its just a barrel of burning gasoline
>this fire isn't big enough, what do?
>knock over container to test for reaction
>oh shit the whole streets on fire
>liquid gasoline fire running down the street
>miraculously somehow didn't set self on fire
>nope the fuck out of there
Hahahaha, I've seen that platoon sergeant smile before. Good story.
its been sitting in a tool box never used it wont. pos gets used once on a lug and breaks? trashman.
>bye bye beautiful Hensoldt scope
aaww shit man
Boxer > Goped
those things are a fucking hazard, threw mine away the second I saw it in my volkswagon and bought a sturdy 3 ton scissor jack to replace it
hahaha, lol

how stupid do you have to be to not get a job in walmart?
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>be fixing up a community workshop
>adding a new breaker box to the 220V circuit
>so whatddaya think guys, we ill just add it here nex to to the old one, lemme just cut this cable here..
>suddenly dark
>ehm, anon, did you just cut a live 220V line with pic related?

omg, so glad the dude who designed automatic circuit breakers knows his shit.I will never do this again.
And ruin such a good teaching opportunity for two people?
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>The needle went through her fingernail, through the finger, and snapped into three pieces, with one piece left inside her.
Probably used the wrong one. Could have similar part numbers, and if you're working at walmart you probably don't care enough to double-check before you put it on.

If only there were some place to buy a rebuild kit.
Never wait to go see the doctor kids!

>be working on an old fan from dehumidifier
>blades aren't balanced
>inspect blades to see which is bent
>fan is old and apparently the wires inside are fucked
>holding base of fan
>shorts out on the metal case
>muscles tense due to shock
>smash fan into right eye as hard as I can while it's spinning
>several cuts on my face from blades
>luckily my eyelid closed
>have small scar on eyelid
>impact caused my cornea to partially separate from my eye
>don't go into hospital because I'm a tough manly man and my eye is swollen shut
>after a couple weeks I go to eye doctor
>Says I waited too long
>I'll have blurry vision in that eye for the rest of my life, only thing they can do is cornea transplant which they don't recommend due to possible complications.
they sure dont look vde
>be in highschool metal shop
>using hydraulic shear to cut steel plate to practice welds on
>asshole trying to be funny shoves me from behind to scare me
>hand slides between metal and shear
>cuts off top 1/8" of my index finger

I remember the teacher telling me to stop fucking around because I was screaming at the faggot who pushed me. I gave him some choice words and went to the nurse who freaked out and thought I was a hemophiliac because I was bleeding a lot.
Should've gone with a chlorine bomb. They're retard mode-EZ, make a good boom, and produce deadly gas.
>working on friends pc that won't start at all
>poking shit with multimeter
>computer suddenly boots
>startled, jerk hands out of case
>brush pinkie finger against ~2000rpm 120mm fan
>bye bye, chunk of skin and finger nail.
Learned to stay clear of fans, I guess.
I knew a guy who was a hand talker. Said something and threw his hands up. Ceiling fan broke his pinkie finger.
Unless you're using delta's imma have to call bs, I've literally stuck almost every part of my body including dick into a 120mm and it comes out fine
still wouldn't recommend it though
>>impact caused my cornea to partially separate from my eye
I fucking nearly shit myself from the idea
I hope you get better somehow. . .
even deltas cant go 0-2000rpm in under an attosecond
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Not injury related but

>start having bad heartburn at age 17
>ignore it for years
>eat copious amounts of pepto and tums to ignore it
>slowly builds over time
>first small strictures in throat, then digestion issues and weird stomach pains.
>IBS start symtoms start happening
>wake one day heartburn is really bad, I get up and heart beating like fuck, cant walk 5 steps without feeling like im going to faint, blinding headache, think im for real having a heart attack (i have a congenital heart defect)

Its real interesting going into the ER when you say you are having a heart attack, especially the look on everyones face when you say you have a heart condition. Everyone went from a brisk "this is probably a false alarm from a 24 year old kid" to a fucking scene out of ER.

>heart is fine, call it a "panic attack" caused by very high acid in the stomach
>tell my to see a gastroenterologist immediately, and that high doses of prilosec will alleviate symptoms somewhat.

>dont bother seeing a GI for 6 months
>low and behold, pic related

>go to the GI and get a colonoscopy and endoscopy scheduled.
>dont even need to get into how horrible the prep for the colonoscopy is.

In the end I have a stomach ulcer, stomach lining damage, esophagus erosion, some sort of "ulcer" like thing in throat that can lead to throat cancer or tear and have heavy bleeding, bowel lining damage, and my liver function is really off.

Worst off, I have a stupid amount of medical bills that arent going away anytime soon, I have to get all this shit fixed.
If I would have gone to the doc 6 years ago when started having heartburn this could have all been avoided,
I had my colonoscopy like 2 weeks ago, so I have no clue what the long term stipulations are and what permanent damage I have done. Thats going to be addressed during my follow up with my GI doc.
You ignore symptoms and its easy for them slowly to pile up till shit hits the fan.

Never wait to go see the doctor is fucking right
2000rpm for a 120mm fan?
Was he running a housefire intel CPU or something?
I've been having really bad stomachaches and heartburn for a few weeks. I just made an appointment thanks to you.
Fuck medical bills

>Wreck BMX bike from like 7 feet in the air
>snap right forearm like a twig
>literally high five my elbow
>Without insurance, hospital visit + surgery would have been around 28 thousand dollars

With insurance it was only around 5 thousand dollars though. They let us do a payment plan too so it wasn't like it was impossible to pay.
I know someone who broke his finger really bad, and then let it heal on its own
He has lost most of the movement in it and it looks really fucked up.

Hurt my neck and it slowly got worse and worse.
Doctor set me up for physical therapy 3 times a week for like 6 weeks.

Ended up being like 1500$ a visit.
I have insurance but still had to go on a payment plan.
I had about 5 days of nasty smelly farts and constipation before I got
>pic related
and then it was a nice fun trip down buttfuck lane for severe Ulcerative colitis.

They put me on stupid expensive drugs like remicade which gave me the worst fucking headaches you could ever hope to have for about a month. Then it got much worse, but the docs still insisted that I stay on the drugs. So I did and one day it got so bad I couldn't even move and I was in terrible pain.

TLDR: nearly died but docs saved my arse by pulling the entire colon out.

>Never wait to go see the doctor is fucking right
Fucking this, kids. If you feel like something is wrong, don't hesitate.
It was some ridiculous monstrosity he built off Newegg.
Please, stick your finger in a high-speed case fan, not whatever came on your Compaq.
Most of the oem ones run at maybe 1k rpm. Aftermarket and such can hit 4k easily.
>Have a dirt bike
>needed to cut the air filter plastic housing
>Lets use a dremel with the bit thats currently on it.
>bit explodes after 2 seconds of cutting
>go to hospital with a shard the size of a guitar pick sticking out of my skull

Always use protection with fucking dremels.
It was pretty weird.
The eye doctor I saw is a corneal specialist she said that she had never seen an injury and said it was one of the cleanest cuts she's ever seen. She questioned me for like five minutes because she didn't believe me. She said the scaring looked like it was a botched LASIK procedure where they cut a flap in the cornea. She called in like 4 other eye doctors to look at my eye and gawk. I finally got her to believe me when I pointed out all my face wounds from spinning death.

Her best guess was that the impact basically compressed my eye and basically caused my corneal to pop open where the fan hit me.

On the bright side I've had eye conditions my whole life (strabismus) so due to my crazy eyes my brain has removed my binocular vision so basically losing my one eye didn't bother my brain at all.

Plus I have a cousin going to school right now for Optometry, so I'll wait until she's out of school and hit her up for cheap surgery in a few years.
>work at a smeltery, operation the giant magnet(4000kg)
>sometimes you need to remove the magnet and power cable
>coworker is putting the magnet back on the hook while im at the control panel
>being tired as fuck because i worked 20 hours that day
>Press the on button while he is connecting the cable
>see a (dont know how to call that in english) arc of purple ligtning??? about a meter long right where he's standing
>it was so bright i couldnt see shit for a couple of minutes
>the whole office smelled like ozon
>mfw i nearly killed coworker because i was tired
I've fisted a desk fan if that counts
I'm so fucking glad for good public health care. When I had to get my appendix removed it cost me about 35 usd.

Now for my story.
>In computer class in year 10 of school.
>class is mucking about with computers taking off cpu fans and such.
>one of my classmates leaves early because fuck school.
>after awhile me and my buddy start smelling something funny.
>idiot left without reattaching the cpu fan on the computer he was mucking about with and he didn't turn it off.
was he a nigger?
You are almost me and I nearly claim my $5.

I was apparently the first person the teaching ophthalmology hospital had seen where the retina had a hole but no tear. My brain also adjusted neatly; so neatly I could stop wearing glasses after.

Humans are weird.
Not injury related but that reminds me.

>year 11 in Engineering/AutoCAD class
>teacher took a like 20 hour course over the summer
>he's a retarded redneck who is only there because his retard strength allowed him to be wrestling champ 3 years when he was in HS
>Class is 75% Year 12
>Year 12 get out of school like two weeks earlier than the other grades
>Last two weeks are just fuck around time
>Lunch schedule is fucked up because of year 12 gone
>Teacher isn't in class
>Three of us systematically go around to each computer in the lab and remove all but one stick of RAM and set BIOS passwords on all the computers
>Goes unnoticed until next year
>get called to principal and asked if I did it
>We know it was you anon
>Principal realizes he's got nothing on us and asks if we would be willing to help IT dept repair it
>Sure why not
>Get out of classes all day to reset a whole computer lab
>School IT guy is like 60 and doesn't even know how to computer, he's just got tenure
>We get a whole day out of class and the last hour we just pull all the CMOS Battery and reset BIOS

We never got called out on the RAM either. We sold it on eBay.

We were just three nerds who were trying to act like badasses and happened to know more about computers than the rest of the school.
Yeah we are.

The worst part for me was my damaged eye had 20/40 vision in it. So I self prescribed myself glasses for my other eye because I felt uncomfortable driving with the lower vision of my left eye. I just never wore my glasses into the doctor so they wouldn't give me shit for not having prescribed glasses. Part of why they don't recommend I get a transplant is that I still have 20/20 in my (now) good eye uncorrected. I am just so used to having hawk vision that I thought my vision sucked but it's still better than most people.
lying piece of shit. Warranty is warranty, regardless where work is done. You must work for a dealership, faggot.
hope he didn't run it like that... I know of one guy who thought it looked cool and tried it... burned out his wheel bearings in something like 5 miles....
>doing appliance repair in the fuckmiddle of nowhere.
>customer having dryer issues.. says they replaced the igniter and then the dryer shot flame out at them...
>it's a 6 year old dryer but they complained to the manufacturer who said they'd pay us just to go find out what happened...
>first 2 things the lady says when I get there are "it always smells like gas when it's running" and "it'll do a full load of blue jeans in 15 minutes"
>open it up and find that it was converted from natural gas to propane... or rather someone had tried... instead of replacing the natural gas orifice on the valve with the propane orifice, they had unscrewed the plug from the check port on the opposite side of the valve and screwed the propane orifice in there...
>due to having 2 orifices in it, and the natural gas one being oversized since it was meant for natural gas pressure not propane the dryer is putting out 4 times as much gas when the burner is on as it should be.... and with the propane orifice screwed into the wrong side even when the burner is shut down it will still leak propane...
>ask her who converted it and she said it was her boyfriend...

best part was she had it in her garage, and was smoking while telling me this... still have no clue how she never blew that garage up... would have loved to have seen the look on our reps face when he read that report..
By rights, warranty is warranty if you keep the records and receipts, but I have seen cases where dealerships/manufacturers have fought on the technicalities of the "Trained technician" or whatever lines in the service manuals.

That I've heard of, they've lost in court every time, but a lot of people aren't going to have the time/money or just be plain intimidated by it. It's pretty sad.

Also, shit changes drastically by state and country.
Some years back, I had a lovely aluminum case fan, with an actual milled metal blade. I still have the scar on my finger from when I stuck a finger in "just to see".

It was very much a "hold my beer" moment.
I'm almost 40. My hand tight requires a wrench to remove. Besides having to use a screwdriver and hammer to remove the last time I wrenched a filter on, I have a hard time not crushing the filter when I put it on. Maybe you should toughen up those little hands of yours. Fram even puts a grip coating on to make it a little easier for you.
One day i was cleaning up my room as a kid and was playong around with some electic wire decided to cut it so i got a razor blade long story short sliced my finger to the bone thru the tendon they reattatched it and repaid my tendon its numb but still works pic related had a cast with my middle finger up for a month
same guy from
when i was 3 i snapped the middle phalanx in half and the proximal phalanx in 2 places of the middle finger on my left hand, by having my hand in the hinge side of a door jam, mom tried to close the door it wouldn't close, so she slammed it 2 more times before she could deadbolt it

i still can't snap my fingers with my left hand, i have limited strength with that finger
>implying that would happen to MY car

nm is nanometer. Nm is newton-meter.
Yeah, I went back to Sears, and they gave me a Premium Grade craftsman ratchet for my trouble. Looks out of place sitting among the 1/2 and 1/4 inch ratchets in the drawer. Mostly because it's a teardrop ratchet, and the other two are round heads.

>your ratchet was due for replacement.
The fuck you talking 'bout, willis? A good ratchet will last many decades of use, provided you don't abuse them. That was a good ratchet, and as far as I'm aware, it had never been abused up until that point.

Yeah, they look nice, but kinda pricy.

>If only there were some place to buy a rebuild kit.
Unless I feel like paying a machinist to make one, I can't find one anywhere.
>buying knockoffs
>I can't find one anywhere.
What was the model number?
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I Have SO many stories from High School Auto-Lab. Tons of winners there.

>Guy brings his shitty ricer Acura in
>Needs to change oil
>Drains the oil
>Proceeds to "Wash out" the engine by putting water in before he replaces the oil.

Some Urban shit here
>Dark Children trying for an Easy A
>Auto Teacher isn't having it
>Tells them to pull a radiator from one of the junk cars in the back
>They put it on a lift
>5 minutes later
>"What you mean we was supposed to drain it first?"

Let's go for the hat trick

>Guy brings in a car he's trying to overhaul
>He's stripping the whole thing to sell the parts,It IS his car it's just a P.O.S.
>He gets called to the office
>Moron decodes to help
>Starts taking apart the steering column
>Manages to set off the airbag
But then how will the neighbor LEARN?


>Boy Scouts
>Campfire is dying out
>It's cold out
>SPL from other troop gets an idea
>Pours white gas on the fire

Funny as hell and as it is Boy Scouts,EVERY TROOP at the campout learned about it by lunch.
I was frankly surprised it took so long.
>Supervising an aircraft defuel.
>Soon as manifold pressurizes, fuel starts flowing out of the right dump mast onto the flight line
>"shit, did i forget to check the X valves? I swear i checked them"
>Truck driver kills it, I marshal him out
>subordinate pulls over a fire bottle, stands by
>Fuel still flowing out of mast
>Call fire dept trucks roll up
>Fuel still pouring out
>30 mins later, fuel still dripping, fire dept cleans up mess
>fuel cell comes out, they did checks the previous night
>after draining the manifold and checking the dump valve they call me over
>"lol, the valve was closed we swear, there must've been some fluid on the other side of the valve and when the manifold pressurized it magically pushed the residual out in litres onto the apron
>Pro super still thinks I overreacted
>be really young
>playing with steckerdose because it's fascinating, yo
>stick knitting rods into sockets because they fit so they obviously are supposed to be stuck there
>a sudden flash, crack, hand is all black for some reason
>also pain
>mum comes in, starts screaming and panicking and crying
>aunt comes in and starts telling yelling at me as well
>no fucking clue but a sudden respect of magic electrical devices ingrained into my mind forever

>some time later, though really young still
>twin-cousin - we were born at the same time to twin sisters and lived on the same street at the small village, so we were basically twins in a lot of ways - this is weird, I know
>he sort of heard of what had happened with me but not in any detail
>can't really give him a satisfactory explanation either on account of being a kid and an idiot
>manages to aquire some rods even now that they've been supposedly hidden away
>'Don't do it, bruh'
>'I must know...'
>he goes for it - flash,&crack, his hand is not black, tho, dunnno why or perhaps it was and I can't remember anymore
>'Ouch' is his reaction
>mums and grandmother arrive, flip their shit and start berating him and me for some reason
>'I fucking told you, bruh'
Why couldn't you have just rammed a penny in there like a normal person.....
oh god i thought i was the only one
did the same thing as a kid except with my night light, there was a hole under my skin from where the arc traveled.
What a douche, would cut of his dick with
the shears
I think every troop has a 'SPL did something stupid with the fire' story.
I built a house a didn't use any shipping containers. :(
Dude in my high school wood shop class.

>One day he's catching a board i fed through a big industrial table saw.
>He's pulling on it, instead of just catching it.
>Shut saw off.
>Dude, don't fucking pull on it, let me feed it through and you just hold it!
>I'm supposed to pull on it idiot!
>Whatever, go away, i'll find somebody else to do it!
>2 days later.
>Dude is catching for somebody else.
>He starts pulling on it, other dude panics because he can't control it now, starts fighting over the board with him.
>Solid 3/4 inch oak board catches the blade and launches right into the dudes chest, breaks 3 ribs.
>Idiot is like "I wasn't pulling on it, he just didn't know what he was doing!!!" Injured dude was also track star, we lost state that year.

same dude.

>Running a jointer one day.
>Thinks the best way to stabilize it isn't to use scrap wood pushers.
>Puts his fingers directly in front of the wood to hold it down.
>Runs through jointer.
>Goodbye finger tips.

same dude:

>Huffing thinner in the stain room.
>Doesn't turn fan on.
>Passes out, isn't found until an hour later when class is over.
>Bashed his head of heavy wood desk when he went down.

Same guy:

>Running band saw one day.
>I'm standing right next to him.
>"Hey uh....you shouldn't put your fingers directly in line with the blade like that."
>"Don't worry, i got this"
>suddenly his hand jerks back, he puts it in his mouth. says "Ouch!", keeps working.
>I think he just got a splinter or something.
>Put him out of mind.
>They found him an hour later, when class was over, in the parking lot, passed out in a puddle of blood.
>sawed his index finger in half
>Also did the one thing teacher says never to do. If you're injured, tell somebody! don't attempt to go get help on your own without anyone knowing!

Dude later died at age 17. He shit faced at a party in the woods. Wandered off by himself, passed out, started raining, he drowned in a mud puddle.
I'd feel bad, but that seems like natural selection just doing its job.
Why was he allowed to continue he wouldn't be allowed to use power tools after the first incident, of I was the teacher.
The teacher really didn't give a shit.

He was kind of an old timer, and had this philosophy like "Well, i showed you how to do it right, if you want to saw your hand off that's your business"
My uncle lost 4 fingers in a cotton gin when he was 5/6 and now has a crab claw hand. Probably lucky it happened that early in life because he learned how to do everything without those fingers and I honestly forget that he doesn't have them
He is kinda right
>"Well, i showed you how to do it right, if you want to saw your hand off that's your business"

I have to admit, I fully agree with this teacher.

>>Guy brings in a car he's trying to overhaul
>>He's stripping the whole thing to sell the parts,It IS his car it's just a P.O.S.
>>He gets called to the office
>>Moron decodes to help
>>Starts taking apart the steering column
>>Manages to set off the airbag

The airbag is one of the more expensive parts, too.
i'm sure this has happened to a lot of people on here anon, don't beat yourself up about it.
Hell, I can't count how many times I've had fluid in the intake manifold of my guitar. Couldn't imagine trying to prevent it in a plane.
Darwin always wins in the end.
I remember there used to be a bunch of videos on youtube of guys getting airbags out of junkyards, then they'd sit on them and set them off.

Most of them ended up with spinal injuries. There was still tons of videos.
Forgot first rule: disconnect battery.
>putting in some new garden beds
>need to pull out the old cloths line pole
>its some bullshit L into the ground, so I'm diggin it out
>hear a pop, sounds like I hit a 22 shell
>notice that the fridge in the shed is out

>working on my explorer, power steering pump has to come out, alternator has to come out
>pull out five of six bolts no problem, in the process a wire to the alternator gets sheared so I now am committed
>last bolt shears holding everything in place
>tfw no car
Here's a good one:

>Father in law changing rear brakes on his SUV
>Working in sloped driveway, ass of car completely jacked up (no jackstands) and pointing towards street
>Won't that fall off?
>No anon, I put it in park and it's AWD
>SUV slipped off of jack when he came out to tell me that
>He didn't realize that AWD vehicles have a differential in the transfer case, so if one set of wheels is free the ones on the ground are not held in park
By chance, I plan on doing that very chore tomorrow. I already own good jack stands, and also very important, good wheel chocks. And I do mean exactly like you described, only planning on making sure it won't roll.
I was putting a new exhaust on my 4cyl S10
Not a lot of room in that engine compartment.

Was trying to fit the new downpipe onto the manifold when suddenly I see sparks and smell burning.
I shorted something on the flexy section of the downpipe.
It burnt a small hole right in it, so I to this day have a nice little exhaust leak there.

I unplugged the battery and then continued on.

I still dont know what exactly I touched that shorted it out, but im lucky I didnt cause some sort of damage to electronics or something.
Fuckin way of the road, bud. Fuckin way of the road.
Do not wrench tighten your oil filter jesus Christ, there is no reason for it. It's never just 'fallen off' What's happened is you're too fucking stupid/drunk to follow the goddamn directions that everyone prints on their filters and service manuals.

Putting it on hand-tight with a dab of oil ends up with it so fucking tight by the time you change it that you need a strap wrench anyway!
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Gee, I wonder
Even if I liked a neighbor really well, I wouldn't warn them about something like that. I'd simply stand back with a Pepsi and a bag of popcorn and wait.

Also, just might HAVE to record it too.
Its like people forgot that there is immense oil pressure pushing on the filter, those threads are made to bind when non rotational forces are pushed on it.
Not to mention the rubber seal swells and dont let any rotational forces hit the filter anyways.
It could have ended in a death.
You have to consider that he's teaching >kids
not even a problem bro. just drain it and use the air compressor to spray any water out. you'll get most of it. a few drops of water wont kill an engine.
I dont know why so many people were trying to give me advice on how to put oil filters on when I said I've never had one fall off. yeah, just do it up tight with your hand. used motor oil to lubricate the seal.

I can guess how this happened. basically they threaded the oil filter. thye must have turned it a few times, it didnt grab, then it grabbed at an angle on the thread and they thought it was tight. so then their tightly fitted oil filter was just barely hanging off the oil pump. moments later it fell off. even under rough driving conditions, an oil filter can't just rotate itself off that quick. and this is why i never get my oil changed by a mechanic. or any work done by a mechanic really. they ruin perfectly good cars. either by putting way too thick oil in them because muh valve seals muh piston ring wear. somehow the engine is meant to run on 50-20 and not burn the fuck out of valves and poorly lubricate everything when its designed to run on 10-30.

or general fuckery like refusing to replace a stripped bolt and instead just throwing some loctite in there to hold it in place.
I've grown up around morons, I have plenty of these stories.

>Working as a CNC apprentice
>Finish unloading bed of freshly cut kitchen cabinet doors
>Look up
>One of our company salesmen is helping out (very small upstart company)
>Cutting MDF sheet on a table saw
>Wearing a tie
>Wave frantically, he has ear defenders on
>Tie is getting closer to blade
>Can't reach him in time
>Flip a breaker switch located next to CNC on wall, cuts power to whole workshop
>Furious boss sacks salesman on the spot

I left not long after that.
Most likely, the live power connection on the starter. As long as the battery is connected, power is always live and ready to go to the starter. It's just waiting for the ignition relay to throw the green flag. And no, it doesn't drain the battery while waiting because there is nowhere for the energy to go till either you turn the ignition, or touch it with something metal.
Another less dangerous one

>Be in shop class, last class of the day
>Class moron acting up
>Teacher calls him out
>"Congratulations Peter Shitforbrains, you're tidying up for everyone. Everyone else you can leave early."
>Come in next day, shop class first thing.
>Haunting silence as class arrives. Teacher has venomous look on face.
>Peter arrives late, to the surprise of no-one
>"Shitforbrains! Get out of my classroom and don't ever come back!"
>"W-w-why sir?"
>Slams open door to store cupboard
>Used multicolour tools for the rest of the year.
>this is why i never get my oil changed by a mechanic.
This is something very important for anyone who has ever taken their car to walmart or sam's club, they do NOT hire certified mechanics. Not one of their shop employees are qualified to do exhaust, suspension repair, or anything beyond oil changes and tires. You are literally trusting people who cannot get a job at a shop sweeping the floor with your car.

My wife's cousin worked at a walmart auto department. By far the dumbest person I've ever seen work on a car. He couldn't understand why his S-10 got horrible fuel milage, because he believed the lower the tire pressure, the better fuel economy. Not kidding, he kept only 25 psi in his tires.
>He couldn't understand why his S-10 got horrible fuel mileage

Regardless of how retarded the guy was, the only second gen S10s that got ok mileage (~25-26MPG) were the 2.2l 5 speed regular cabs.

Have a 4cyl automatic and an extended cab?
Enjoy your 18mpg highway.
They got the same mileage as the damn V6s did, which wasnt much better than a 1500.
That would still have been a really good learning opportunity for the remaining person.
I'll clarify this for you. It was a second generation S-10, and he was only getting ~10 mpg. Which really was biting him in the butt because after working at walmart, he got a job with an hour commute. I tried explaining to him that inflating to 35 psi would improve things for him, but he refused to listen.
310s licensed mechanic here, we have never done anything like that in my shop...
Or better yet,DON'T put water in to begin with!
You can't actually damage a computer by doing that.

I once fixed one that was "not performing like the rest in the office". The CPU heatsink clip had never been attached, and the HSF was just sitting kinda-near the die.

The CPU had been running at TJunction minus-zero, 9-5, for nearly a year. Poor performance was due to the CPU being in thermal-shutdown most of the time.

Clipped the heatsink on, computer worked good-as-new, and documents put down beside the computer no-longer got blown off the desk.


That deserves an ayyyy lamo, because it does.
Not anymore you can't, but back in the day...

Thank you guys for xonfirming all my paranoia about diy. I take soo many safety precautions before I do anything just to not have one of these stories. My motto has always been "measure twice and look where your fucking fingers are before you do anything". Of course I eo have a dumb story thats not too bad

> be 11-12
> take apart computer to clean dust out
> get to power supply
> dusty as fuck get a towel
> forgot to unplug it
> touch electromagnet

Felt like a tard for forgetting something so basic but since then Ive been too paranoid to fuck up again
I went camping in a friends backgarden and they decided it was a good idea to pour petrol on a already burning fire. He set himself on fire and the can he was holding and then threw the can at the tents whilst flaying around like a retard. Good times lol
I remember one day at work I decided to dust out my work computer, because I didn't feel like willfully letting it die like all the others. My co-worker was using it at the time, so I just went ahead and started dusting it out while it was on. This was a bad idea, as enough dust had accumulated that it arced inside the power supply somewhere. The machine was a total loss, but it was the last of our pentium III-800 office machines to die, and I got a faster office computer out of the deal.

Since then, I turn things off before hitting them with the air duster.
I was that guy. I wasn't the SPL, but only because I didn't want the responsibility of keeping a ton of 12 year olds from killing/seriously injuring themselves or others.
>Be me, at summer camp
>Day 3-4, pretty tired
>Cooking bacon on a griddle, soaking up the grease with paper towels instead of spooning it off
>Corner of towel starts on fire, I throw the paper towel out in front of me into the wet grass
>Some idiot had put the garbage can right there
>Pick up the can and run it over to the fire pit, dump the contents

The funniest part was the the other scouts had had a hard time getting a fire going. A grease-soaked paper towel helped that situation a lot.

Then the remaining student would have remembered twice as well. Overall learning is conserved.
one of my teachers in high school had severe burns on his entire body from this exact scenario, that's not really funny at all
>just a kid
>'twch support' for neighbor throwing me a bone
>computer never worked right, kept taking it back to best buy and they kept cleaning it and reinstalling the is until warranty ran out and they stopped caring. Boots fine, then freezes after a few seconds
Hmm. Sounds like heat issue open it up, poke around... North bridge hearsink was not clipped on

Reattached... Didn't improve anything, it was toast after being left running for three years.
>be inna highschool, 17
>playing soccer
>PE teacher is regional league tier player
>on the other team of course
>kick ball the same time he does
>kinda continue playing
>excuse myself for second half because foot hurts
>fast forward 2 weeks
>foot still hurts
>teacher tells me to man up
>mom tells me to go see a doctor
>fast forward 2 months
>walk up stairs
>ow, foot hurts
>didnt i want to go to a doctor
>fast forward another 2 months
>well I guess it doesnt matter anymore
5 years later, toe is still crooked, and not as flexible as the other one
figured it broke and grew back together kinda wrong
shoulda gon seen a doc
We had a kid in my high school shop class who we convinced to try and stop a oscillating drum sander with his bare hands. He lost. Nine months later, when most of the skin had grown back, he tried again. Still no luck, but at that point he was out of the shop for the rest of high school.
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>werk inna bike shop
>all muh combi spanners are generic shit except for the 16 and the very important 15mm spanner which is used the most intensive
>have this 15mm gedore 1b combination spanner that is just GOAT because its big offset bend at the closed end is just like a double ended ring spanner,so it clears shit like kickstands and fender stays without needing to make a turn,remove it from the axle nut and then re-insert it on the nut again every turn,saving a lot of time.
>open end handy for reaching tough to reach places
>fuckin' love it;matte finish,slightly,longer in length to break free rusty stuck bolts quite a bit easier(nearly all of the axle nuts are corroded stuck),beautifully crafted
>tell my boss d00de to NEVER use it to break loose stuck pedals because the CR-V steel is softer than the Cr-Mo steel of the pedals axle and they're not meant to be used with a cheater bar+excessive force.We have specialized Cr-Mo pedal spanners for that.
>seen him use cheater bars on some facom spanners to break free pedals axles
>tell him to NEVER use the gedore to do that because we got a gazzilion facom spanners he can ruin,instead of that one gedore.They're presumably stronger too because they're wider.
>come back one day from school (I work 4 days and go to school 1 day inna week)
>It looks like this
Sorry for the full autismo story and bad English,but I feel so much better venting my anger.
No one said it was funny. In fact I think everyone in this thread is entirely serious about it. Assuming your teacher was the person responsible for the incident, then your teacher was an idiot.
And you wonder why I wouldn't do anything but stand back and laugh.

Also, it most certainly IS funny. ANYONE that damn stupid should get what they deserve. ESPECIALLY a TEACHER.

Actually, I did. I would probably rupture something from laughing so hard.
I had two shop teachers because I had switched schools. The first shop teacher happened to be my uncle, who told me loads of stories like the ones in this thread. One being about a long haired kid leaning too far in on a drill press. He gets the hair on top of his head ripped out, and is bleeding as they rush him off. The second shop teacher had large patches of hair missing from the top of his head, not in a balding pattern. I still wonder if the second, younger shop teacher took my uncle's shop class.
>>tell him to NEVER use the gedore
Sorry that shouldve read
>ask/request him to NEVER use the gedore

Any half-decent oil filter says right on it "HAND TIGHTEN ONLY"
>"I'll just put this card on this computer"
>Drop a screw
>Computer powers up
Forgot to pull the plug, killed the mobo. It was a learning experience

>Cousin got a gig on working some big forestry tractor, one of the reported problems was that engine temperatures were too low
Turns out that the gauge didnt get a proper reading because there was no coolant in the system. The stuff that did come out was some sandy sludge.

>Buy a front loader for family use on an auction
>Price is pretty much the price of steel on the thing
The previous owner had half-assed everything, even brakes were non-functional. Some of the stuff was welded on instead of using the original bolts, requiring cutting up stuff just to get to the problem areas. Anything done to it was done with minimal effort just to get it somewhat operational. When picking it up, the neighbors told that the previous owner had put a bullet in his head, hence the auction.
I feel your mobo pain bro.
Reminds me when I was in army, the officer in charge during that time gave us a speech at the end of the day, telling us that we were forbidden to use any chemicals while lighting a fire as some corporal had got mildly burned while starting a fire with lamp oil during the day. Thing is, temperatures were around -25C and trying to get firewood burning just by cutting it in smaller pieces was a real pain in the ass, especially when its wet as fuck (stored in the open in a big pile) and you actually had to hit it a few times to remove the larger pieces of ice from it. So everyone just continued to use lamp oil as always, just not sticking their faces in it like a retard.
you know, they invented punctuation for a reason.
I've told this sorry on here before so some of you might have heard it,

>Staff Sergeant in the Army is setting up a command tent for a training exercise out in the field
>He was in charge of everything, including acquiring fuel for the generators and heaters.
>Generators use 'mogas', heaters use diesel
>He can't find any fuel cans labels for mogas so he fills up a bunch of cans that were labeled diesel
>He forgets that he has done this and never relabels they cans
>Has a Private with him who has never even been camping before
>Sergeant has him setup a pot bellied stove for the command tent
>Private goes to get fuel, comes back with a 5 gallon can of 'diesel'
>Sergeant does not check to see if the can does, in fact, have diesel in it and Private doesn't know shit from Shineola
>Private finishes setting up the stove
>Private gets everything primed up and lights the stove
>Stove explodes, sets private on fire and burns him quite badly
>grandparents give me a big tool chest for my birthday
>looks bretty good, comes with a hammer with a "wooden" handle
>take hammer and attempt to remove a nail stuck in a fence post
>give it a tug
>hammer handle explodes from the pressure

made in china, never again.
> But.. but muh tool man, muh tool .. ;_;
Sweet jesus man, I know that feel. Sort of related (my own stupidity)

> Be 11 year old poorfag.
> Be getting into mountain bikes, cludging together what I can from curbside and other sources.
> Have pic related, god-tier multi head spanner. Opens everything on every bike I have ever had, my favourite tool.
> Come across particularly tight axle nut, can't find shifter (I know, poorfag)
> Nut resists full torsional fury of the cubes, won't budge.
> Sometimes use wooden mallet to loosen tight shit with shifter, line up and swing.
> Cubes of undoing snap cleanly apart right in the middle of their cast alloy handle
> Thermonuclear pree-teen fury spews forth from my core, ragethrow mallet at ground in attempt to destroy my betrayer.
> Mallet bounces perfectly from cement and hits me in the mouth.
> Completely stunned. All teeth present, holy fuck.
> Pick up the pieces of my broken cube, walk to bin lamenting my folly.
> Blood. Lots of it. Run inside to mirror, dad see's me, follows.
> Hole in center of upper lip about 5mm out from my nostril, blood pissing out of both sides.
> Half a roll of toilet paper later bleeding has stopped.
> Gingerly explain to dad what happen, he lolled so hard that I lolled, which started my lip bleeding again.
> Get rad spanner set for birthday a few months later.

21 years later, I have a gap in my moustache where no hair grows as a reminder to walk the fuck away from shit before it slaps you the fuck down. Never loose your patience in the shop, or you gunna get raep.
"Man up", because soccer players continue playing, even after severe injurys. Not like these wimps of ice hockey players.
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My teacher once forced me to keep playing volleyball after I fucked up the joint.
Fast forward 5 hours, finger swollen to literally twice the size.
Fast forward 1 week, nexyy PE lesson, teacher: "How should I have known, you didn't say anything".
MFW when: "Can I sit on the bench, I hurt my finger" counts as saying nothing.
You're a dick
What was it made from?
At least you have a mighty mustache
Have you ever played soccer in highschool? It was pretty much war in the places I been
I'm not American, so I have never visited a highschool, most of the teachers I had were totally afraid to be sued when somebody hurts themselves. We play handegg with bands who get ripped out of our belt. The teacher I had in the second semester of stage 10 was pretty chill, he played rugby with us.
fun fact, neither am I. Just used the term soccer so everyone understands me.

however, sueing someone because you hurt yourself in PE class? not happening because lol public healthcare, and also the schools probably had insurances that would pay for anything nasty (like losing an eye in badminton class, teeth knocked about or whatnot)
The thing is I went to a Gymnasium full of rich pricks with lawyer dads and hurr durr, ma bebe would never do that moms.
American high schools are full of lawsuits waiting to happen. My shop teaching uncle (retired), stories of kids getting hurt for stupid crap, all end with they got a lawyer. Me, I broke a finger once in gym, only made them pay for the medical and we were good. Which only consisted of two visits, x-ray, and a splint.
I work at a company that makes radiators and of course we have punch presses to cut out the fins. These machines punch out the fins for the radiator and usually punch around 30 holes in each fin, so obviously there are thirty huge, sharp rods to do this. Anyways, a guy who had no businesses being in that area, was standing by the machine and the arm filled with the 30 spikes swung out and forced his body to fall over onto the spikes. Impaled his abdomen... He's alright though.
When i worked at a chevy dealership, in a period of a year we got 10 cars from walmart with engines blown the fuck up because they didn't put oil in engine after draining it out. They also stripped about 30 drain plugs.

Later, i met a guy who was a manager at walmart auto. Dude was 17 years old, and he was the manager of the place, if that gives you some idea what level this place was on. He told me all kinds of stories, they seriously had several full on retards working there. Not like figuratively, they had actual retards changing the oil.
I got lucky and quit using them before something tragic happened. I stopped because I noticed every time I went in, they said my oil was down 1/2 quart. I bought the car brand new and this was still within the first two years I owned it. The last time I took it to them, I decided to check the oil the next morning. Sure enough, they had been shorting me 1/2 quart of oil each time.
Well, also most people don't know how to read a dipstick. It always says right on the stick something like "If oil is ANYWHERE in the crosshatched area, then it's good! No need to add any!!!"

Nobody reads that of course. Generally, you want it right in the middle of the crosshatch. Of course, everybody thinks this means the oil is low and they add until it's right at the top, which they think means "full" but anywhere in the crosshatch is technically "full"

I worked at a trucking company that used internationals with cummins isx engines. One problem with this engine was if you filled it up to the very top of the crosshatch, the engine would start blowing excess oil right out that road draft tube. So then, of course, the trucking would think it was leaking oil, and they'd keep adding it, and the engine would keep blowing it right out. You could tell these assholes because the entire undercarriage of the truck was covered in oil. The company must have wasted hundreds of gallons of oil a year because of this.
Not helpful when they told me I lost 1/2 quart when I returned. An even 5 quarts put it right near the top line, but not over it. They were putting in 4.5 quarts and telling me I had a leak, and I had it on paper. Then they got crazy rude when I started taking my used oil to them. I won't deal with them anymore, and the horror stories help me keep to that.
> Cubes of undoing snap cleanly apart right in the middle of their cast alloy handle
this made me have a sad
Whatcha talking about its pretty much at the lowest point in the system. Got a stone chip a hole in mine, there was barely a splash left by the time I finished the journey
>have an insert type oil filter setup
>filter housing has torque setting moulded into it

car is 15 y/o 130k going strong.

come at me.
dont abuse your tools anon, treat them well.
slogging spanners are for hitting with things.
>Working in a millwright shop
>Bloke is doing general maintenance which includes fixing up machine guards
>Retard drills into a cable cover with live 32 amp 3 phase power supply
>He should take the cable covers off if he wants to modify them
>Hits the fucking cables
>Somehow didn't die

One where I fucked up

>New job
>Told to use equipment I haven't used before (core drill)
>Ask if there is anything I should know before hand. Let him know I have never used one of these machines.
>Nah mate. Supervisor goes offsite.
>Try using a core drill like a regular masonry drill
>Fucked the core drill bit bent the absolute fuck out of it
>Supervisor comes back
In fairness they did see a funny side to it. It still sucked fucking up like that though.
fuel filter with hole will leak fuel. oil filter with hole will leak oil. fuel filter that is a black hole of death will still leave oil untouched when your car runs out of gas. lrn 2 read.
Eurovan plz
that's the one

how the fuck did it get near the house.

what the fuck
One of the contractors we use had a guy sawing into a slab on piers to do some modifications on a garage with quarters above. Some fuckstick put a mains line 1 1/2" deep in the concrete, and they hadn't cut the power to the building. Cutting fluid made a neat ground path through the dude, and he almost died.

The guy next to him saw him go stiff, and cut power to the saw before it had a chance to find his face. Now he has permanent numbness in his right arm from the elbow down, which is obviously a problem if you're the kind of person who finds himself using a concrete saw on a daily basis.

Mains lines scare the living shit out of me. I'm more afraid of power tools than I am of firearms.
where I come from, hand tight and hand tightened mean two separate things.
how the fuck did you make a musket at 13?
>>Guy brings in a car he's trying to overhaul
>>He's stripping the whole thing to sell the parts,It IS his car it's just a P.O.S.
>>He gets called to the office
>>Moron decodes to help
>>Starts taking apart the steering column
>>Manages to set off the airbag
I giggled at the thought

but I don't drive / work on cars so I can only guess that those things are fucking powerful.
>overhaul car
why would you spend money on a car you're scrapping?
Well, on oil filters it only means one thing, grip the bastard with hands and tighten. It will hold, and even with greasing the seal like you should, you will need a tool to remove it, if you don't have weak hands.
Because as a whole, parts are worth more than at scrap value. The reverse of why people steal catalytic converters
yeah but why do an oil change on a car you're never going to drive again? what possible use would maintaining any part of a car that's getting broken down that will just need to be cleaned and serviced again anyway?
Wires under carpet where drivers feet are.
Fucking brass clamped together and they rot.
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I worked at a diesel shop for a while. This one idiot who worked there insisted filters needed to be tightened with a band strap and a 3/4" breaker bar.

I guess his thinking was that since big detroit diesel engines were big, that meant the filters had to be extra tight. Like i said, he was a serious idiot.

I remember trying to talk him out of doing this once and he asked me. "Dude, do you even know how much oil pressure these things have?" and i'm like "Uh...yeah, about as much as any other engine." But he still wouldn't listen to me.

I got pretty good at removing stuck on filters though. I'd use one of pic related, nothing works as good at ripping those fucks off.

He stopped when the head engine rebuilder, this old cranky fucker had to rip one of his filters off. I'm told the old guy chased this idiot around the parking lot after work with a handgun.

But yeah, most all oil filters only need maybe 3/4 of a turn, hand tight, with very few exceptions.
you can actually tear the seal if they're over tightenned
>16 year old merican living in a town of 3000k people
>decide to buy a lifted farm truck

>lifted 85 K10, 35s, 1ton axle swap, straight pipes, rusty as fuck flat blacked spray paint
>had a monster 5.7l + muncie SM465 with power take offs because it came from a 70s dump truck
>only cost $2000 because gas was really expensive, and everyone had farm trucks laying around (before they killed them all with cash for clunkers)
>it only got around 7-8MPG

Needless to say, it was over the top obnoxious truck. I dont want to call it a "bro truck" because we abused the fuck out of it on back roads and offfroads in fields and shit, but thats what it essentially was.

Either way, I bought it with all the stuff done to it. And it was pretty much just slapped together haphazardly.

>parts kept breaking, water pump, power steering pump, clutch slave cylinder, brake lines blew
>always fixing it, but didnt matter because I could walk school or work or the store because small town.

>ignition is rigged to a push button mounted on a diamond aluminum plate, just hanging never was installed to dash
>i decide to try and install plate, so I pull the push button out to mock it up and somehow shorted the switch on the plate.

>truck in driveway, garage door open, hood open, truck is in gear, no neutral safety switch
Yep you guessed it, it came roaring to life and drove with force into the garage.
I stopped it before smashing the wall, but I was only like a foot away.

The hood hinges were tough, they bent and destroyed top of the firewall. There was a 1inch gap between the bottom of the windshield and the cab. Hood and hinges were destroyed.
It also left some really really nasty gouges on the house above the garage door.

I sold it shortly after, I was just sick of working on the money pit. It was fun to romp and stomp around in but it wasnt a daily driver and kept breaking down. If I can find a pic of it ill post it.
I live in a farm town.

At least once a year somebody dies because they disabled their neutral safety switch on their truck or tractor.
I had an MK2 VW golf which never came with one.
It was nice being able to push start my car, one time my starter was dead in a parking lot and we push started the fucker and got it home.
what are you talking about?
>neutral safety switch
I drive a manual and what is this?
Im not sure exactly what this post is conveying.

Are you asking what it is?
Are you implying that manual transmissions do not have them?

Its a switch that doesnt let the key turn the engine turn over unless the clutch is depressed, or the automatic shifter is in park.
Are you sure,you dont mean a donkey punch?
not all cars have it. Can't speak for the American variant of the car, but my '99 nissan harbody, diesel would start in any gear. And the motherfucker wouldn't stall.
I Posted the story. He was trying to overhaul the car and decided to cut his losses.

Reading the story carefully, it's pretty damn obvious he meant oil filter.
>Are you implying that manual transmissions do not have them?

I'm not aware of any manual that has such a switch. If you try to turn the engine over when it's in gear, the best you'll do is just rock the car on the starter motor. Done it a few times.
>americans can't even be trusted to start their own cars

you are also the only country who's cars need to make a noise to remind you the door is ajar.
It became a law in the mid to late 80s that all new cars had to have them.
In the USA I should say
My S10 has one, my friends corolla has one, and I know someone who has a like 2008 Caliber which I know would have one.
Automatics are the vast majority, and its not a bad idea to make sure its in park before starting. It was probably written with autos in mind with manuals as an afterthought.
and to further clarify those 3 cars are 5 speeds, ive never driven an automatic that would start out of park.
I drove two manuals that I know didn't have such switch, an 84 Mitsubishi and a 91 Nissan.
2000 buick lesabre with the 80 engine. My mom's was cutting off erratically and hile trying to figure it out, I had it cut off on me at highway speeds several times. Shifted to neutral, turned ignition switch and it would start back up.
3800 engine
>ice hockey
That's not baseball. http://www.sportstvjobs.com/resources/hockey-players-are-tough.html
>Building a potato cannon from PVC pipe and a bottle trap
>Igniter on plugged inlet, barrel connected to outlet
>Pinhole at the bottom of the bottle to load fuel with a syringe
>Works extremely well
>Want to increase the power
>Start using N2O as the oxidizer
>Operate by purging trap with N2O, connecting barrel (with potato loaded) and injecting propane
>Igniter starts to get oxidized
>Finally stops firing
>Clean off igniter
>Prepare for dry fire
>Run through above steps with barrel attached (no potato, no need to disconnect the barrel to purge)
>Hit igniter
>Entire thing explodes
>PVC shards in my face and chest

The funny thing about nitrous oxide is that if you compress it right it will detonate. Because it's a simple decomposition, the reaction happens a lot faster than in combustion so, even without confinement, the peak pressure is enough to destroy the plastic that survived combustion without issue. When I purged the trap it also filled the barrel with nitrous so the shock from ignition in the trap was enough to detonate the pure nitrous in the barrel (the way propane was introduced meant it didn't enter the barrel and just mixed stoichiometrically in the trap).
i used to draw a crude map of whatever i was taking apart and put the screws where they came from.

now it's all memory.

if there's fifty different screws i might take notes though

The exact opposite is true of Macs, for some mystical, cosmic reason.

>lady is so poor she has to sell her beat-to-shit truck to meet bills

>bargain with her

>be maybe 16ish
>like bicycles, like to work on bicycles
>bicycle which wasn't very fancy but was reasonably nice due to work gets stoled from train station by bike thief negroes
>dad's friend has some shitty old disused bike in his shed, gives it to me
>everything seized, everything rusted, only good thing was the saddle, comfy as fuck, more like small chair than bike saddle
>commence work on bicycle
>trying to remove cranks with crank remover to change seized bottom bracket: bike upside down, one foot on handlebars to keep it down. Crank going nowhere.
>get bigger spanner, try again: no dice amigo
>get The Wrench
>Fuck-ass 40" monkey wrench, mainly used to smash up old furniture for firewood, more like a complicated sledgehammer than anything else
>return to previous stance, put wrench on remover, start applying force
>get to the point of throwing most of my body weight on this fucking wrench to budge this fucking thing
>crank is removed with suddenity and abruptitude, there is now nothing holding me aloft
>boop the back tyre with my face, nose is broken into fascinating shape

I've come to like it though, gives my face character
it's so our guns and freedom don't accidentally fall out...
Now that you mention it, sounds kinda shitty.
It was her boyfriends truck, he was at work and she had to call him. It wasnt like it was their only vehicle.

My family wasnt very well off either, hence why I was buying a 400$ vehicle off craigslist for a first car.
Not sure if this counts as an idiot story considering i was about 6 in west virginia but my my single mother needed help tearing down some old building way back in the yard, it was a termite infested (pig / chicken?) building.

So I'm there with a claw hammer pulling nails out of a wall beam to ease demo. The claw was upward and i was pulling downward because hell, i'm 6 and short. nail and hammer flies out and claw of the hammer hits me right in the eye. I feel okay but can't open eye due to dirt / wood grit, whatever so my mom rushes me to the ER.

They inject some weird blue dye in my eyes to see the bazillion of scratches on the lens of my eye and basically said 'wear these cool glasses for 2 weeks' - almost like welding goggles - anytime i took them off everything i saw was smurf blue like i was in tron.

many years later have 20/13 vision \_(ツ)_/¯
It isn't that hard anon, just grab a steel pipe, and wood.
When the boss makes a dollar,
I make a dime.
And that's why I shit
On company time.
That was written in the stall at the place I used to work for. Boss never used the bathrooms. I asked him why once and he said they always smelled like shit. They were very clean but I'll be damned if there weren't at least one blue collar dude dropping the kids off at the pool every time I went in.
Same shit happen to me but with a 80mm fan @ 6k rpm
>stick thumb in fan (was reaching for something at the side of the fan
>fan blade breaks and gets stuck on thumb (about 2-3mm in)
This has been my favourite /diy/ thread to date
The school was at fault, there wasnt enough safety
On the topic of starting a car in gear:

I worked at this ratty oil change place when i was in college. The owner was bragging to me about how awesome his system is. He had two people doing oil changes, one person who drains the oil and all that, and another who stands up top on the lift and ads all the fluid and everything. I thought that was retarded, why not just have those two people each working on their own car? Plus you have to wait for the other person to get done to do anything. Plus, it seems like it's a safety hazard....

So, like my first day on the job, this one idiot gets hired. He looks like a 60 year old alcoholic, he spends most of the day bragging about how awesome a mechanic he is, and how many great jobs. I'm thinking, uh huh, so why are you working at this shit-hole now? He was also a total dick to me when he saw i couldn't figure out how to work the auto grease gun immediately, which i eventually figured out but he went around telling everyone i'm an idiot who can't even work a grease gun.

So anyways, the first time we do this two man bullshit. He drives this jeep into the shop, onto the lift. I lift it up and drain the oil and grease it and all this shit. He's constantly berating me saying i'm basically doing everything wrong, but the fucker can't even see what i'm doing. So he fills it up with oil, gets in and starts it and lets off the clutch.

The fucker left it in gear.

It lurched forward, the front axle slammed right into my forehead, and i went down to the floor. I had the sense to roll out of the way, because i knew i was in deep shit. The Jeep rolls off the front of the lift, with the idiot in it, front bumper lands right where i used to be. rear end stays up leaning against the lift.

I had a nasty cut on my forehead, but was otherwise ok. I never went back to that job.
>who was supposed to be training him disappeared for a few hours
and thus is the way at walmart
I bet the boss had to hire two guys, because the other guy should've been let go right then. Also, that's system is used by those 10 minute oil change places, with one guy staying in the trench below. I don't know if I'd keep trusting the general public to drive their car over me in a trench.
A trench, or a pit is one thing. Having one person work under a lift, and another on top of it is just stupid.

I knew a guy who worked at an oil change place, he said people crashed into the pit all the time. He said they weren't allowed to be standing in it when someone was driving in, for that reason.
>Putting new speakers in my car doors
>parts of the door panel are held in with screws
>Putting door panels back together
>Put a screw directly through the wiring harness
>Power windows stop working
Not as stupid as most of your guys' stories, but I felt like a bit of an idiot when I had to take it apart again and realized my mistake. I'm surprised only the power windows shorted out too, I had to completely re-connect three wires and wrapped a few more that got nicked in electrical tape. I also did the same on the other door, but only just barely nicked a couple wires.
different 3800 owner here, have had to restart the car in neutral at highway speeds too.. no problems doing so.
damn that was depressing
also just want to point out it wasnt a mechanical issue that I know of.. just got tired of seeing the check engine light.. typical obd 1.5 bullshit probably something small but nobody is able to read the codes.
>"Kids, don't do the following dumb things"
>Kid does a dumb thing

Why are people so fucking quick to shrug off their own responsibility. Are schools supposed to physically restrain the pupils, "because safety"?
Nah, just Darwinism.
Videotape taking it apart, watch it in backwards when you want to rebuild it.
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When I was about 5 (or something) I was folding a folding chair in the yard.
Long story short — 5 y/o + the force level of that thing provided = tip of the pinky on the left hand cut (or, rather, squeezed) of. Luckily it was only the tip and nail itself, not the nailbed or the bone, so it grew back (albeit only 60% as long as the original one).
The other day I saw this:
>me and my co-worker come to pick some equipment from the new building (part of our group has recently moved into)
>construction work still in progress
>we open a door a corridor
>corridor has so much construction dust in I can barely see the other side
>30-40 y/o woman just stands there, grinding the walls
>no respirator, no nothing, does not seem she will be done any time soon

Well, I guess she needs that acute silicosis for some reason…
nah. Your finger is like that because of brachydactyly.
It's genetic.You're a freak.
Ye-e-ep, folding chair induced brachydactyly.
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>tip of the pinky on the left hand cut of
>installing floor with dad
>using skillsaw to make a cut
>skillsaw slips and collides with hand/wrist
>panic mode, don't want dad to ban me from the power tools
>wrap up wound with a a bunch of paper towels and seal it with masking tape
>he notices, makes me show him
>sizable chunk of flesh hanging off of arm, profuse bleeding
>dad looks at me skeptically, asks me if I'm sure I'm alright, we get back to work
Mom made me go to the hospital a couple hours later, he says I was incredibly close to a major artery and apparently some important shit that enables you to use your thumb. Got banned from saws.
My grandmother did a complete remodel of her kitchen.
Early 60s, healthy fit retired ER nurse of 40 years. Non smoker.

Hired some contractor that was suggested by someone at her church.
The kitchen had asbestos tiles. I dont know what asbestos removal regulation is, dont know if she or the contractor knew it was asbestos or not. She was sleeping in the house the whole time.

Either way, the week they removed the tiles she started coughing. It got worse and worse as the weeks gone by she finally went and got checked by a specialist.

She contracted COPD bronchitis, and the doctor believes it was the asbestos.

Its been about 5 years and her COPD has cause newly diagnosed congestive heart faiure. While its true almost hitting 70 causes your body to take a shit, her COPD is not helping at all.

Scary stuff.
Her doctor is an idiot. Asbestos does not cause COPD, especially not in a week. The people MINING that shit without PPE didn't get symptoms for 30 years. Even then it wasn't COPD, it was asbestosis. They are completely different conditions.
Asbestos is a carcinogen that can cause serious irritation of your lungs.
Its really not that out of line to come to the conclusion it caused some damaged to a 60 year olds lungs.

Ill trust what the specialist has to say about it
>Asbestos is a carcinogen that can cause serious irritation of your lungs.

If you ran naked through an asbestos factory whilst chucking handfuls of the stuff in the air and rolling around in piles of it. you MIGHT get enough of it in your lungs to develop a cough, and you might even develop asbestosis or a related lung cancer in, ohh, 20 years or so.

Because asbestos doesn't fucking work that way.
Right, but it still doesn't cause COPD. If you got AIDS it doesn't mean it was caused by your co-worker who had the flue last week and sneezed on you. It had to come from somewhere else. They are unrelated diseases with different causes.
>Because asbestos doesn't fucking work that way.
Asbestos is an irritant that gets in the lungs and doesnt dissolve.

What the fuck do you think bronchitis is?

>Right, but it still doesn't cause COPD

Lesser things like air pollution can cause COPD.
>Asbestos is an irritant that gets in the lungs

Yeah and do you know how much you have to huff to trigger a respiratory problem that you'd notice that quickly?

Grandma would have had to grind those fucking tiles up into dust and huff the lot. It wasn't asbestos, it was the non-asbestos construction dust or an entirely unrelated condition that just happened to occur while her kitchen was being remodelled.
Only on average.
>Why are people so fucking quick to shrug off their own responsibility. Are schools supposed to physically restrain the pupils, "because safety"?

Look, here's the thing: KIDS DO DUMB THINGS.

Therefore, if the school insists on teaching them stuff, the school is responsible for supervising the kids so that the kids don't get themselves killed or mutilated.

Think about how stupid a teacher has to be to leave some of the complete fuckups described in this thread unsupervised while they operate power tools.

This is why a lot of schools have stopped teaching shop class, chemistry, and so on.
>or an entirely unrelated condition that just happened to occur while her kitchen was being remodelled.
It's because she got vaccinated for measles. Fucking vaccines, nobody should get them.
asbestos company's higher up spoted, its too late for damage control faggot.
Legal theory is that it's the responsibility of whoever should have been able to forsee and prevent. Otherwise other people wont prevent.
e.g. kids drown in pools. kids are idiots, and can't be reasonably expected to be safe if they find an unattended pool. Parent's can't reasonably prevent their kids from going outside can't be expected to know about neighbor's pool from 2 blocks away.
Person who's pool it is can be expected to know that kids can drown if no fence.
lawsuit exists.
First few times it happened before it was in the news a bunch, no lawsuit because pool owners couldn't be expected to know about it.
It's crazy unfair and robs the few responsible kids of agency, BUT... it prevents deaths of children who would otherwise likely outgrow darwinian selection risk factors.
So yeah, schools. Schools know kids are idiots because experience. Parents have no ability to restrain kids. School is responsible if kids are idiots and no one is even trying.
But when a kid does something fucking stupid that even they should know better than, and school can't be expected to know that they would be that stupid/there was no way for the school to prevent it, then no lawsuit. E.G. if the kid injures themselves running into a wall to show off to friends.
The issue is unreasonable people.
IF YOU HAVE TO TELL THEM NOT TO, you know that some idiot is going to. And a school can expect that kids will be idiots and not read warning signs/instructions. So instructor goes over safety stuff first, THEN it's kid's fault. Because you can prove the kid knew about it.
Cont. Also people are poor, and medical bills are CRAZY expensive. So FUCK i hurt myself bad. How do I afford surgery/rehab? School has money. Ask school to pay because they can afford it. Ask with lawyers.
>Sophomore year
>Programming teacher old hand, IT Department utterly incompetent
>Teacher hates them
>Students know more than IT, continually dick around with the computers
>all computers on the network, including admin and lunch computers
>kids change grades and add money to lunch account balance
>IT eventually fixes it
>Administration thinks they're wizards
>still accessible if you use the command prompt, but whatever the only kids who know how to do that don't care anyway (I forget what the IT guys actually did, I think all they did was put a password on it that you could bypass)

Later on,

>some moron at the middle school downloaded a virus onto a flash drive and infected the whole district network
>IT fucks about, can't fix it
>class discussion on day 2 of The Computers All Being Dead season
>class agrees they'll have to reimage the computers to fix everything
>takes IT three months to reach the same conclusion
>teacher does not give a single fuck and refuses to help IT, wants them to figure it out on their own
>class fixes own computers to keep working (some kids were doing dual enrollment with a local university and skipping the class's work would've fucked them)
>teacher so proud of us he gives everybody As and lets us have LAN AoK and Brood War games

The next year, the school replaced all the computers. They came with Windows Vista, but the school's network ran on XP, so they downgraded all the computers to XP but left the Vista keys on the cases. The keys were never used, so we all got free Vista and some kids sold some keys.
>neighbor got a new drive way and other work done
>head out one morning
>see whole neighborhood filled with some kind of hazey smoke lookin stuff
>get in car and start to leave
>get to end of alley to find the construction guys he had over there
>older guy standing in the epicenter of the haze
>guy is just standing there cutting a shitload of concrete with no respirator or any kind of protection
>other guy walking around just as exposed
Asbestos does not cause immediate symptoms, it lies in your lungs for decades and THEN starts goin nuts
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