>tfw I've had a year off before going to university and I've failed every single goal I've set for myself - weekly, monthly or yearly
>tfw I still haven't even set foot in a gym, despite deciding to in October 2013
>tfw all I do is play videogames and masturbate
>tfw I see friends who have their shit together and I have to pretend stuff is going on in my life
>tfw I'm still a virgin, even though people think I'm good with girls
>tfw every night I get really motivated and make plans which I don't follow through on the next day
>tfw I lost my job through sheer laziness, I lie and say I quit when people ask
>tfw I'm going to one of the best universities in the world and I have absolutely no motivation to go there because it will involve work
>tfw my life is ruled by following impulses towards whatever's easiest
>tfw I just feel a frustration and disgust towards myself, but not strongly enough to use it for change
How do you motivate yourself?
How do you go to the gym when it's easier not to?
How can I stop being so weak?
"Inspiration" is counter productive. If ever the thought comes into your head "it's time to turn this all around," banish it immediately. You need to start being productive just because that's a mode that you exist in, not a state that you inhabit from time to time.
Do you know what astronauts do in space? They go about a mindfuckingly bland routine, endlessly; that is their life for however long they're up there. Their reward is to occasionally glance out a viewing port to be reminded that THEY'RE IN FUCKING SPACE. But in terms of their day to day, it's really mundane shit.
That's what your life is now. It's not going to be fixed, you're not going to be fulfilled once you turn it all around, it's just going to be a bland existence of work and work and work.
Once in a while, you get the privilege of looking out the viewing port and getting a sublime satisfaction from where you are and what you're doing, in the grand scheme of things. But that's momentary, and secondary to the work. All in all, you need to accept that the life you want to live is inherently less sensually satisfying than the one you have right now.
Your ability to accept that is the difference between making it and not.
nike has the right idea
"Just do it"
That is seriously my motivation. I dont think about "whats easier" or "i can go tommorow"
If i go today AND go tommorow thatll be two days i went not JUST today. Simple shit to me man. You just do it.
This. My first day in the gym was scary as fuck. Every single person was bigger than me and it was intimidating.
Eventually it got easier and easier to go. The easier it was to go the harder it was not to go.
Everytime I had the impulse of just blowing the gym off I thought "fuck that, I've invested too much in this to just quit now."
Start now, make it a part of your routine. Just remember that people like you and me can easily fall off. If you quit you waste your time. You probably will quit a few times before realizing this tho, most people won't make it.
you sound a lot like me op, so im going to try and share some strategies. If we are actually alike then advice like "just push yourself", or "just fucking do it" wont help at all. Get disgusted with yourself. realize how pitiful you have become. and then say FUCK THIS SHIT. Im not just gonna stand around feeling fucking sorry for myself, im smarter then that, im better then that. sure you may have pulled the short straw sometimes in your life, but guess fucking what? THE WORLDS NOT FUCKING FAIR. People in africa are starving and shit, on the other hand my oppertunities are limitless. hype yourself the fuck up. get off your ass and charge into the fucking gym. stop thinking about it and GET YOUR ASS IN THEIR. I also find motivating videos and music are good for getting in a hyped out mood. some of my favorites:
Read the attached pic.
Being motivated is natural. The alternative is being removed from the gene pool.
You just do it. At a certain point you start to realize success feels good and you just start to put in the effort. Stop dipping your toe in the water and take the plunge. Actually, 100% truly commit yourself to something and recklessly pursue that goal, even if it's just one single goal. Start with one. As you succeed add more.
I'm quite literally the polar opposite of you. Girls, gym, HD's at uni, managerial job. Just fucking do it.
I'm about to walk the dog and use the dumbbells I have here, which I was already planning on doing today, but tomorrow morning I'm starting my day by driving to the gym.
Thanks for checking
1. Make an account on Todoist. Todoist is a to-do list app where you can set goals and a time frame which you can check off, and it constantly sends you reminders if you're overdue.
2. Set one task for tomorrow, and make it incredibly small. Something like "get out of bed, have a shower". Make sure it's something you know you can do with the slightest bit of effort.
3. Once you have completed that task, tick it off in Todoist. That green tick and the message "enjoy your day" is incredibly satisfying and you remember why you do work and what free time is meant to feel like.
4. Each day, set the same task, and add another. Increase the intensity of old tasks. If you have trouble even leaving the house, simply set the task of going out the door and walking a few paces up the street. Increase the distance each day.
5. Eventually, you will be addicted to completing the list, and you will look forward to doing work.
You will get more stuff done actually planning small tasks and completing them one at a time than waiting for motivation to do big ones all at once.
I'm self-employed and use it to stop procrastinating all the time.
That really shows where my head has been at recently. The idea of cycling didn't even cross my mind even though I routinely cycle further distances for things less valuable. And I've been using the idea that I can only drive as an excuse not to go for ages, because I only recently passed my test and the road there is tricky.
Thanks for taking away the excuse
Small easy steps nigga
Almost everyone fails with this shit because their goals are too difficult and to long-termed.
First pick something easy what you can do right now like eating healthy
Then do something that takes a day like doing shit for school
Then do something what takes a week like losing a 1 pound if you need to lose weight
Then make goals for a month like earning a certain amound of money by selling drugs
Then have goals for a year like having good grades
Make sure your goals are clear and split everything in small steps
It's hard to stay motivated when you're a twig. Everyday I go in and there are these big guys lifting their big weights and the women looking at them. And I'm standing there with my twig arms. I have the weirdest arms I have ever seen. Too skinny. I keep reminding myself this is only my second week, but still, it's not easy.
I usually go in the mornings, but there was one day I decided to go on an afternoon. There were even more gym rats there. They actually laughed at my the tiny weights I was lifting. And there ain't shit I can do about that. Most I can say is "I know, I know." Come see me in a few months or something.
Times are getting hard, boys.
i have felt these feels
>still feel them
>gettin easier but not there
the first step is to learn accountabillity its the most important one. you feel like shit because you keep makin the same mistakes. well take accountabillity for those choices an realize the reason you feel like that is because you chose to, you will then soon find out that all your problems orginate from you. so take responibillity for your actions an you will start to progress i know its hard but its nescary.
>quit bein a fuckin phaggot your not gonna make it with that attitude
> for me its easier to skip meals then gym an you know what thats done to me its kept me in auswitz at 6'2 155-60lbs for almost 2 years an theres no one or anything to blame but my self. fuck i need to go eat im hungry but dont feel like eating, i hope we're all gonna make it
How do you stop procrastionation ? How can you work if your workplace can be turned into anime viewing machine in a matter of seconds ?
With gym it's easy : you just go into a place where all you can do is work out, but this shit is hard man.
Just go bro. It'll change your life. I promise you. I used to be a fat, no-good slob like yourself but I made a change. I got fit. Girls started looking at me, making coments, etc. Went back to my ex, you should've seen the look on that bitch's face. Super impressed. Fucked her. Got her pregnant. Didn't want to accept it, so I had to flee. I live in Mexico now, but still work out at Cuerpo y Usted everyday. Growing bigger and bigger. You'll do it too bro. Be strong.
make it harder to get there. You can put the anime on a external drive which you disconnect. you can block certain sites yourself (yeah, you can unblock them too, but that takes a few moments during which you can realize what you're doing).
I also have a program called "SelfRestraint" which too blocks websites but apparently can't be unblocked before a pre-set time (not through conventional computer skills anyway)
coldturkey is another useful program to block particular sites you find yourself wasting too much time on (like 4chan hurr hurr)
can't unblock until the time has expired for the block (unless you purposefully work to get around it editing system files)
Also as far as motivation for working out goes it helped me tremendously do concentrate on something that can't be disapproved.
If you lift for girls the inner voice (and /fit/) can always tell you that girls don't care about muscles. If you lift for strength the voice can tell you that you don't really use your strength all that much in your everyday life.
What worked for me were two statements :
1. Muscles are cool
2. All my childhood heroes had good muscle structure
You can't really argue with first one, and the second one is subjective but i believe this is true for a lot of people.
Your inner voice can't really argue with any of this which might help with getting yourself in the gym.
i can feel where this guy is coming from. maybe he's a mexican american an he left this vapid westernized feminist bitch. to go back an find his roots at his parents old home town in the old country to find an oldschool wifey type girl. i theorize this because i plan on doin the same thing bringing me back a wife
the best motivation for me to hit the gym is the fact that I will feel A LOT better when I'm done working out, and only that
What's 1 hour in your day when you know you'll feel better about yourself for the rest of the day..
True but you should use some sort of mantra to deal with rationalisations while starting lifting. I couldn't bring myself to lift for a lot of time because I was telling myself shit like "it's all meaningless . Why should I lift if I will die someday anyway." so some sort of mind fuckery was necessary in order to get myself moving.
>tfw every night I get really motivated and make plans which I don't follow through on the next day
This fucking feel...
Every time I go to bed I hate myself for all the goals I have not reached. Out of that hatred comes motivation. I want to do something RIGHT NOW. But I can't. I have to sleep because I have to get up early. I make plans again and the endless cycle continues.
>"If you postpone dealing with problems and cover it up with the word "hope", all that awaits you is an empty reality."
I`m trying to get inspiration from anime characters and it works to some degree but still not enough...
Want motivation? Read your post.
We choose to do all kinds of stupid shit, not because it is easy, but because it is hard. You already know what the problem is. How can you look at yourself and not be motivated? Are you seriously okay with your life as it is? Obviously not. The only thing left ia to fucking get up and do something about it. Make your life meaningful. Don't be a bitch.
i kinda know where you're coming from opie
you know, its all about habit
i didn't really feel that hyped about lifting 2 years ago when i found /fit/
i realized i had nothing better to do in the afternoons and just went to the gym, did the big lifts and some accessory lifts, been going strong since then.
its the same with studies, you just need to make (whatever you aim to do) a habit
you just have to do it, the start is tough but its worth it in the end.
Also to me the gym got to the point where I lived for it, I would wake up and wait to go workout then I would come home and just stare at the wall till I fell asleep so I could go the next day. This was when I was neet for a year tho. Now its just become part of my daily schedule.
See, this is what happens when you fear work. Which sucks ass more, doing some amounts of work and getting some things done (not all things, just some things), or being so scared by thinking of all the work you will ever have to do that you can't actually get to doing any of it?
Nobody ever gets swole in a day. Nobody ever is at the point where they are utterly helpless. Are you clinically depressed? You sound like you could be. Honestly, you're fighting yourself, and I imagine your idea of motivation is having a voice inside you that is so disgusted with yourself that you just constantly feel defeated. That's no way to go about getting things done. Instead of constantly jabbing yourself for what you didn't do, think about all the shit you did do, will do, or are doing that you can be proud of and which will help you advance your goals. The more you can actively want to be doing something which helps you, the more you can recognize the positive benefits of fitness or improvement, the more you will be willing to do these things. Life is a struggle if you believe it to be so and it's a self-fulfilling thing; that's why I have sympathy for people who are really depressed, not because I don't think they are partially to blame for their issues (though as a neurochem student, I think their chemistry betrayed them), but because I am certain their lives do actively suck ass now because of their depression and because it's hard for them to see it any other way.
I'm not going to promise you that it will be easy to change or especially to stick to your changes, but for me (and I come from very similar circumstances, like... almost word for word), one day it just kind of clicked. Today, I'm still overweight, but I'm less overweight than when I started, and every week I try to break at least one personal record; I'm still as motivated as ever. Browsing /fit/ every day helps, though.
>gap year 18-19
>get job as door to door salesman
>develop social skills in a day (forced to talk to and befriend 100s of people everyday, random strangers)
>lose all social anxiety, become super confident
>lifted obsessively from 17-22 now, years of 5-6days training, ripped, muscles,
>constant learning, and study 3 years BSc,
>working shit part time job, have interviewed and have offers, but looking for better money
>everyday thinking of potential business areas, market niches, studying more even though graduating with a 2:1, haven't even had ceremony yet
>learning finances, personal and for investments, researching property market and labor market
>turn 22 tomorrow and I will be a virgin
Worst part is I have a 7.5 inch penis and I've never even been able to use it, I've past my sexual peak and am still a virgin. Also i've eaten pussy before and I was quite good at it.
>everything is on 110%, effort, motivation, no fear, no social anxiety
>sex life: 0%
>I've past my sexual peak and am still a virgin.
What a garbage way of looking at your life, measured by how many times your dick's touched a vagina. What are you, 16?
>past my sexual peak
Oh for fuck's sake, stop being such a tryhard, you're not in high school any more. Grow up.
>measured by how many times your dick's touched a vagina
Every other species measures its success by its reproductive success.
I have a crippling biological urge and emotion need that I have so far failed to reach.
All other measures of success in life are only meaningful because they contribute to your reproductive success.
To what end would you have kids? Do you even want kids? If you feel you're such a failure, do you want your kid to end up that way too?
All I'm saying is that if all your concerns are whether you've gotten your dick wet, then as far as I'm concerned you're not an adult yet, you're a manchild. A man has better things to do with his time than sit and sigh because he isn't immediately having his sexual urges met all hours of the day.
cannot afford kids,
if I accidentally did have one he would be a failure...until he was a success.
What should I be doing other than trying to have sex before I die....?
I can think of nothing else. If you killed all the women on the planet, I'd probably do drugs until I overdose.
>I can think of nothing else. If you killed all the women on the planet, I'd probably do drugs until I overdose.
Then the root of the problem is deeper than your lack of pussy, it's your entire outlook and way of living. That's the cause, lack of pussy is the symptom. You lack purpose and perspective. You claim you are very fit and very social and learn a lot. I have difficulty believing this because if you were indeed very social, fit, and pleasant to be around, then your issues with virginity would likely either not exist, or would not be so critical to you. Do you have any proof to back up your claims of being ripped? Women don't actually like hulks, just guys who are slightly fitter than average, at least the studies they've done show that women tend to prefer better-than-average guys and not competition-level bodybuilders. Are you introverted? You know your own life better than I do, but it sounds to me like you've made it your goal in life to just get fucked, and that's a juvenile goal.
What motivates you besides that or drugs? If it's nothing, then consider finding a purpose outside of sense pleasures, even if you have to be the one to define that purpose for yourself.
>pleasant to be around
Well my BMI is 22, which is right in the middle of ideal weight for my height 5'11", and i've been lifting for 5+ years consistently, and my lifts are mediocre
I don't look like those hulk guys, and you can see my serratus
I'd wager i'm in top 1% of fitness of all males globally, especially considering half the world is starving, and 75% of males here are overweight or obese, and maybe 5% lift at all or exercise.
I'm probably not that nice to be around, but there are surely women who like assholes.
My current goal is to get fucked...since at my age 99% of men have already done so...and 90% of them have smaller dicks than me.
Guys how do I keep going once I started? I get all motivated and shit and start working towards my goals, but it just fades with time and I regress back to my old lazy self.
I can't change my perspective on things so I can't get in a new state of mind, therefore the limited energy I have runs out...
there is your problem, you are thinking about /doing drugs therefore nothing else interests you (only getting 'easy' chemical rewards in the brain from drugs or sex)
sober up, cut all that drug shit out, change your diet, veggies and lean meat, water/tea only, no junk crap, no chocolate, no sugar! stop fapping every five minutes, join a sports club of some kind, shit I dont know mma or maybe ballroom dancing(lots of chicks there) or something where reward comes only with little/loads of work.
your brain should balance itself out and you should become normal, if not then you are a permavirginfaggot and you should kill yourself.
>op is like 80% of normal people, lazy as fuck and want everything the easy way
200 tipping fedora tips everything from hypnotism to some motivational speeches. oh god, fit.
>My current goal is to get fucked...since at my age 99% of men have already done so...and 90% of them have smaller dicks than me.
If you are really so dedicated to getting fucked, then go out to a sleazy bar and pick up some drunk chick, or go hire an escort. All the muscles in the world do not make up for a lack of drive and a ad attitude, nor does a 'good' attitude make up for a complete disregard for one's physical health. I don't want any obese so-called 'nice guys' to get pissed at women for not offering them pussy the second they pull out a chair for them at a fancy restaurant. A man strikes a balance in life and doesn't let his drive for muscles sour his attitude or a relaxed attitude kill his motivation to be at his best.
If you're an asshole, then you will either hook up with the same or end up an abuser, but in neither case does it end particularly well for you. Still, if you must go down one road or the other, best to end up with a bitch so that you two are fit for one another. I'm not even telling you not to be an asshole, because that won't actually do anything. Live & learn is the only way you're going to stop being an ass, but just as a side note, if and when you decide you want to just be a druggie, start with a more insightful substance; classic psychedelics will not automatically make you a kind person but you may well ask some important questions about yourself and your life on them, IF you choose to use. Just putting it out there.
Never let your life get so out of balance that you lose perspective on what is truly important, and if you lack that perspective in the first place, don't give up on finding it through continued self-improvement. If your techniques are no longer working to improve yourself in the ways you want, try a different approach.