An overconfident manbeast has a has messaged me on OKC. This seems entirely exploitable so I'm posting it here.
The funniest pastas/responses I will message back to her. Give it your best shot. Will post results.
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
Hi! few things to start off with :) 1. Yes I'm responding to you because you're a gorgeous, confident, curvy woman, 'tis an awesome thing to see! 2. I'm Brian. 3. Don't be intimidated, but I'm not a stereotypical guy. If anything, I'll be the one in the kitchen :D
I'm an alpha male
And girls want to fuck alpha males. Let it piss you off as much as you want, but you know it's completely true. That girl you like who is kinda cute in a weird way, but is totally sweet and you have the biggest crush on? The one who keeps going back to guys who treat her wrong for reasnos you don't understand? The one who calls you up at 1 am to cry about how her boyfriend hasn't called her in 3 days, and no matter how long you listen to her, she'll never think of you as anything other than asexual? The one who will curl up next to you on the couch, hug you close, kiss you on the cheek, and never let you fucking touch her beyond that?
Yeah, I'm fucking them all.
And the biggest reason I laugh? It's not me doing all this. It's the girls. When you cry about how lonely you are? Or talk about how you just want to curl up and dissapear, and all that emo bullshit? You're triggering her "Don't Fuck" instinct something feirce. You're a miserable weak coward, why would she want your genes? Feel free to buy her a new computer and help her decorate her apartment, you're great for that. But her baby-maker is barking orders at her, telling her to wrap her legs around me and hold on for as long as she can. She needs it, on a primal level you'll never get to see first hand, even if you do get a chance to fuck her. Sooner or later one of them will lay back and spread their legs, but you won't see any hunger in their eyes. They won't beg you to love them forever and make them yours. You won't know what it's like to see her animal side needing you as much as she needs to eat and breath.
I'd say you should become an hero, but you being aruond makes her want a real man all the more, so keep fagging it up emo bitches, I'll keep that pussy warm while you're crying in the corner
Oh god guys IT'S ALIVE....
Thirsty whale incoming. I fear i will not be able to stop her if she somehow finds me.
OP here, if this goes much further I fear for my own penis, for I will get raped, but herewego.jpg
By general consensus, which is the pasta you niggas want me to use?
You think you can come in my kitchen? I have relatives from not so far back that were Nimibian tribesman. They happen to have fought lions just to become warriors. I don't know what you know about lions but they aren't like your average cat. I bet you would absolutely shit yourself if you ever saw a real life lion, especially if you were only holding a sharpened stick and you were naked. Come talk to me when some of your family members have gone on the Zambutu bibjano; A.K.A. the trial of life. Until you have done half the shit that they have maybe you shouldn't even talk to me like this. I know you think you're hard and shit but guess what pal, you aren't. Now go grow some Namibian genes and we'll talk about this shit for real.
OP here. Look above sir.
The only thing I'm afraid of really is some white knight ruining this for the non white knights enjoying this, since I didn't bother to blur out the OKC name.
Don't you find it hard to be so mean to someone who is being so nice or am I forgetting pic related
I'll be completely honest she's not quite ignorant enough and I may feel a little bad right now.
You are making my resolve waiver.
>OP is a beta male who has to use sites or apps to talk to women
>then puts down people who reach out to him because muh epic /fit/ maymays
OP, pls no, leave the poor girl alone, think about how miserable her life already is. I know she is the awful face of obese feminism but have mercy.
pls dont respond
hahahah fucking rekt OP :^)
master ruseman strikes again ayy lmao
Sigh... I figured one of you would do stupid shit like this.
I'm going to go ahead and blur the name out of the next whale that does this.
Fucking white knights mang.
I'll be back next time /fit/. dw.
>mfw the only reason I did it was for reactions like this
Come again? I look like a young John F Kennedy you faggot fuck. I fucking look like Jesus and smell like Versace candles you cunt battalion general. You should THANK me for even replying to your thick eyebrowed having ass. I fuck R&B singers. Rihannas are in my contact list. Rihannas only. Fucking champagne onion booty with bleached assholes you cunted basement rat. I'm a modern day cowboy. I lay my dick on 600 thousand miles of highway with a 5 ton beast and eat pussy for breakfast. Strippers pay me to spit in their mouth you shit cunt. Respect royalty.
Op here. Lol'd because true.
I was only going to take some of the mild pastas, maybe call her a tank in the last one then peace out.
Whales like this come around a dime a dozen, none of them actually read the profile they're going to message and just begin the conversation with "hey there :)"
If she had actually messaged me with genuine interest besides my goddamn dimples, I most likely would've sent her on her way back in the seaworld tank.
as soon as you showed that one chick what was up you should have let OP fall on his ass so that he'd learn a lesson instead he's going to keep doing this for shits and giggles and think it's okay to make someone feel like shit
She's a fat acceptance blogger, and now she knows OP was doing this because /fit/ wanted to see the results.
OP may have just accidentally declared war on the whole fat acceptance movement in the name of all of /fit/. I'm okay with this.
I know. I regret it immensely.
I won't leave the username in the title again. Nor the location. My fault for being lazy.
.... Holyyyy shit.
Fall on my ass in what sense? I have a girlfriend and she knows I have an OKC account.
The worst that could possibly happen is i get banned from OKC for being a troll. Whoop de doo.
Jesus Christ, this thread got me thinking. What the fuck am I doing here? I came here to get fit, and get others fit. Not to be the little group of assholes in middle school who all got together to make fun of that one nice kid who liked someone who turned out to be a bastard. Fuck OP, get your head out of your ass and do some squats so it won't get stuck there again.
She used to lurk 4chan too. We didn't meet through it obviously, but it came up one time and she used to lurk /b/.
She's aware of all this. She just hardly cares.
But hey, whatever makes you happy, thinking you're above someone because in your shining, internet-clad white knight armor, you'll clearly hit up that damsel some day!
>chick used to browse /b/
>she's probably shown people on this board her tits
>your girlfriend is a fucking /b/tard
fucking topkek OP you're a real fucking winner i bet she's real randumb
I've been here since tinytrip still posted.
/fit/ was x10 better then simply because less manlet shit which was funny but beaten to death by constant overuse.
it's one thing if a guy goes on here but usually when a girl or something that self identifies as a girl goes on here it's because they have mental problems or are attention whores
OP's gf is either a turbo slut or has daddy issues
>I was here before hating manlets was mainstream
>when a girl or something that self identifies as a girl goes on here it's because they have mental problems or are attention whores
w-what if they just like funny things and wanted a source of information that isn't shitty women's magazines.
they have google for that or bb
why go on a site with so much racism,perversion,hate, and misinformation when they have tons of other sites with people willing to give solid advice
seriously people have died because of the information given from this site
No idea why some people think attacking ithers or trying to hurt somebodys self esteem is cool or alpha. Not white knighting id never fuck that girl in a million years. But id never say anything unkind to her either. Maybe because i dont have insecurity issues like OP
Jesus OP, she actually seems like a nice person. Don't fuck her up here man, let her down gently. Impressing your internet friends doesn't put inches on your dick so don't be an asshole all your life. Just tell her your not interested in a relationship but she seems cool so if she wants to hang out you'd be down for that. Then subtly guide her onto the road of getting /fit/ and save her from her obesity cause she actually seems like a decent person.
the guy who took all those vitamins only has so long to live now
also there were people on /b/ who decided to do the make your own crystals thing and they died
some people even did the "spoon trick" where they took tape and wrapped it around a spoon after heating it up using a burner and then cooling it off with water which made it explode shrapnel
LEL, I think she deleted her account, can somebody who has an OKC account check?
>Jesus OP, she actually seems like a nice person.
By the third word of her self-summary she's already admitted she hates men, but sure, she's probably really nice >>28094596
OP here. She's apparently famous now.
Good job whoever the white knight was. Incoming crusade of "empowered feminist fatphobia combatants" to demolish the streets and literally roll over you.
I don't care how many squats you do. When 2 tons of steamroller in the shape of angry feminist whales comes charging at you, no amount of gains will save you.
What would've been a harmless troll will mean doom for us all one day.
You have been warned.
Maddie @Maddicus · 18m
if u need me ill be in the bathroom actually throwing up bc this entire experience has made me sick to my stomach.
>keep that up and she might actually lose some weight
>/fit/ did good today
>yfw this actually WAS Brian
>yfw he actually was posting this from the kitchen
>yfw Brian is not your stereotypical guy
>now accepting applicants for a new boy toy
Your loss OP. Also:
>i should write about all the different places around town that are completely ruined by experiences with gross dudes.
And this was before this thread.
Oh man this is hilarious. This dumb, fat bitch is now tweeting about the experience. Too much for me.
Get fucked, bitch. I hate this fat acceptance shit and feminism in general. The sooner you eat yourself into a muhsoginy induced heart attack, the better. You might even solve the climate crisis, as global warming may actually be being caused by your mass affecting the path and tilt of the Earth.
I'm surprised your fucking Jimmy Dean sausage fingers can even hit the keys properly in order for you to type up all those feminist tweets.
Is it hard to be a feminist that nobody wants to rape?
Hey girl, if you are reading this, I just want to let you know... Hi, I'm Brian! I'm a user of the /fit/ boards on 4chan! Don't worry, not all of us on here are fatphobic arsehole muscleheads, if anything, I'll be the one buying the protein powder :D
Why not? Odds are, she is reading this thread right now. I just want her to know that "misogyny" and the culture of looking down on unhealthy people is all she's going to find here. And the more the feminists/fatties attack us, the stronger we get.
We aren't picking on her. She chose OP to message, being the hypocrite she is. We were just having some innocent fun with her, and now she's upset. I just want her to know that this is completely her fault.
Gonna send some sicknasty messages to her.
The white knight could have stopped this by just letting us have our fun originally. Wouldn't have been nearly as 'traumatizing' to her in that case too.
>tfw 4chan gives another tumblrite PTSD
>she's 19 years old
She's going to be dead by 30
>'My le epic trolling trolls troll routine...'
The only thing thats salty is the semen I am spilling on my screen upon your epic trolling, my friend.
You'd think I'd be pissed from my reaction, but I'm actually not like most /fit/ guys. My name is Brian, and if anything, I'll be the one in the kitchen :D
She likes chubby guys publicly, when she's posting on her twitter.
But somewhere in the thread before OP's cover got blown it was revealed that he was somewhat attractive or something like that. That's why the people who actually read the thread wanted this bitch to be toyed with.
Fuark /fit/, this is someone real, let's just go to bed and enjoy that sweet gh.
Just remember about our poor /fit/izen on the other end of OKC and the trash that will come to our beloved home
>fat, loud & always wearing lip stick. Feminist, Body positive, Music addict, Psychology Enthusiast, Cat Mom!
why does she think people will like her for saying this. all of it just shouts "failure at life" and "crazy cat lady"
nah fuck that, have a look at pic related and see the bs echo chamber feminism causes. now poor maddie here is gonna stay fat and die early and lonely with her cats because we can't bully her
>tfw used to know a fat gril a lot like maddie and she used to tell me that she wonders why she never got laid and how no one chooses to fuck her
>tfw never had the heart to just say "its because you're fat" because i didn't want to offend her and because she already knew the answer to the question anyway
>tfw she looked like a slob
Social Darwinian values hold little water when it comes to most things but when it comes to selecting the ideal mate it's pretty obvious that it's not just discrimination and malice that breeds this kinda culture.
lose some weight present yourself as a better version of yourself to attract the mate you want
Or give up and accept the impending cardiac arrest.
holy shit finally a good /fit/ thread. I've been waiting like 2 months.
>wah i have to sit in a room hooked up to a machine for 35 minutes
Try being hooked up to one for two straight weeks, a few times a year, with the machine hooked up to a needle hanging half an inch out of your chest.
>look at this guy's twitter
>likes league of legends
pls be bf
Maddi is now the new queen of /fit/.
She will guide all of you beta faggots to your gains.
She's living proof GOMAD + SS works.
Bow down nerds.
I give a little
Into the moment like I'm standing at the edge (I know)
That no one's gonna turn me 'round
Just one more step, I could let go
Oh and in the middle,
I hear the voices and they're calling for me now (I know)
And nothing's gonna wake me now
'Cause I'm a slave to the sound
And they're calling,
Don't stop, no, I'll never give up
And I'll never look back, just hold your head up
And if it gets rough, it's time to get rough
They keep saying
Don't stop, no it's never enough
I'll never look back, never give up
And if it gets rough, it's time to get rough
But now I'm falling, falling, falling
Falling, falling, falling,
Falling, falling, falling, falling, oh
i was about 5ft 11 my senior year of high school and about a year or two after that i went up to about 6ft 1
theres still time to grow, i heard some people grow until they're in their low to mid 20s
there still might be time 4 u. if not then at least 5'11 is a decent height, tall enough to not be a total manlet and girls will think you're a good height (which is all that matters)
Man, it really brings the worst out, doesn't it? I don't think you guys have a shred of self awareness. It's like /b/-lite, you guys are probably 15-19 year olds that worship zyzz and try to troll online like he did. Shit, some fuckers here even have twitter troll accounts with reaction images as profile pictures.
Shit, was I meant to jerk you guys off and tell you how epic this is? Sorry
at least there will be other great threads in our lifetimes. many threads have passed and many threads will come. we probably still haven't even seen the funniest threads of our lives yet anon
nah man, /fit/ has been on steady decline since 2011 (The year of our Lords passing)
fucking asian canadians are always hot, ours are tan and americanized
>tumblr filled with /fit/ dudes she will never get
OP here. This thread got bigger than I expected.
I am genuinely satisfied with the turn this has taken despite my failure in originally blurring out her name.
A+ job anon. The Twitter responses had me practically dying of laughter.
Imagine hitting on an attractive girl on okc and actually getting replies only to get a message from a completely different girl on okc like:
>"just so you know the girl that's flirting with you has been posting screenshots of your conversation in our secret girl forum, and we're all laughing at how you pathetic you are."
Then you visit the forum, and it's all just girls talking about how you're disgusting and autistic and a creeper.
--because that is literally what we just did. That is what just actually happened in this thread.
Idunno, I like to think I've been in some pretty crummy situations in my past, and I like to think those experiences have maybe made me a more empathetic person and maybe less inclined to put other folks in crummy situations.
This was kinda' fucked up, and I think y'all know that. If this had happened to me I don't know what I'd do.
>yfw the titcow commits suicide because of this
Damn, dude. I did feel bad but I wouldn't have gave her the link. It ciuld have just been an encounter with a weirdo cunt for, but now she's seeing hundreds of comments. So in a way, by trying to be the good guy, you became the worst guy
If you had any sense you faggot you would have had your cake and eaten it (rekin OP) and used that as a premise to lure the fatlord into a false sense of security and took up OP's crown.
But you're probably just a faggot white knight
Someone with twitter should call out clymer for being a racist and abusing women.