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Nickname the People At Your Gym
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You are currently reading a thread in /fit/ - Fitness

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Keep it in good fun:

>Kardio Kanish
Indian Skeleton who is always on the treadmill. When he's not, he's super setting lunges and db shoulder presses.

>The Super Feel Bros.
A group consisting of two lanklets and and their semi-built friend. All they do is complain about tfw no gf between sets

>Tony, the out of shape PT
Actually a really nice guy, but he has everyone start with the bear minimum.

>Jose and Josue
Those two Mexicans who do chest every day

That qt 3.14 with the perfect squat form. Every time she looks over and smiles I quickly look away because autisms.

>N-no homo Nathan
The male counterpart of the latter. I only started noticing his 10/10 facial aesthetics and perfect glutes thanks to /fit/
>inb4 grammar nazis
Meant to say "previous" instead of latter
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>this dude wears some kind of fisherman's hat, Nike golfing gloves, tracksuit pants and a thermal Henley every day he goes to the gym. Does a circuit of weird isolations and shit with bad form, usually does crunches on the middle of the floor, goes out to run the track, and repeats this for two to three hours straight.
>mfw Gilligan probably lurks /fit/
>no mfw for this
>pic related, it's Gilligan on the middle of the floor doing crunches.
>Arms Everyday Pete
Just trains biceps and triceps for hours every day
>nice ass ricky
no homo
>12 Chains
Guy who walks around the gym doing every exercise with at least 12 chains on him.

20ish woman who has bigger biceps than a lot of dudes at the gym.

Super fit late 20ish woman that works out 2 hours a day, 6 days a week, deadlifts 185lbs, and has a kid.
Do the Feels bros openly complain about tfw no gf? That's bretty sad bruh
> Thundercock
This guy is maybe 6'3 and jacked as fuck. All the cardio bunnies and milfs eye him up as he does his sets. All the guys sort of stay out of his way. He's so much of an ass hole that he racks weight on the squat rack only to go and do work on a machine. Then he comes and uses the squat rack when he's ready.
>>Young Broski
32 year old nurse dad with 5 kids. Always lifts alone and looks like he hates lifting so much, but is built like a russian bear. He will casually throw up 10 x 315 on bench wearing his work scrubs and shit.

>>jeans kids
kid wore jeans and quarter squated 135 and thought he was badass.

>>the guy
model status natty guy who talks to nobody.

>>Fuckin chester
fat guy who was a hasbeen water boy in high school football and talks and talks and talks without doing his second set.
> Thundercock
This guy is maybe 6'3 and jacked as fuck. All the cardio bunnies and milfs eye him up as he does his sets. All the guys sort of stay out of his way. He's so much of an ass hole that he racks weight on the squat rack only to go and do work on a machine. Then he comes and uses the squat rack when he's ready.
>Swamp Ass Shrek

Guy who exclusively does kroc rows with 120s, but everytime he walks near me to get the dumbbells, i almost always faint from the fucking odor
>50 yr old ex-/fit/izen

Pretty big white guy walks around gym in all black with sunglasses, wifebeater, sweatpants. Doesnt say a word, angrily stares at everyone and hates when people get near him. Rolls in with all black jeep blaring ACDC on occassion. He honestly scares me...

I only say hes an ex-/fit/izen because im pretty sure he isnt married, seems very narcisstic and generally autistic
big fat bald eastern european guy who i guess wants gloves but can't afford them so uses 2 sponges instead. walks around the gym with a sponge in each hand at all times.
>mfw id fuck babypants and easy peasy
curl bro crew

ohp in le squat rack crew

dive bomb bobby

no bench isley

lol wut???

This can't be real
totally real, he never lifts without those sponges. if this thread's still up this evening i'll try and take a picture and post it.
>annoying manlet faggot

always flexing, wears 3/4 length shorts and looks like a chipmunk
it would be injustice not to mention...

>>intense guy

This guy is built like a former high school XC runner, but now is in shit tier dad skinnyfat mode...

he walks around machine to machine sweating his absolute balls off, puts the highest weight setting on all machines, then does 1/4-1/8 ROM for everything while grimacing in pain...

its actually really hilarious...

he also enjoys running at the treadmill at supersonic speeds, panting like a dog, and getting in the way
>The Dynamo
Overweight kid that puts 800+ on leg press then kinda just shakes for 5 minutes.

>Tree People
Literally everyone of this five guy group has a tree tattooed on themselves

>Douch crew
Ok group of 6-7 guys that talk 90% of the time there in the gym taking small breaks to actually work out. They sing out loud, talk/laugh so loud I can hear them over my headphones and each one wears simpy aesthetic shirts every damn day

>Muscle Mouse
Super fit chick that's hot as hell that must inhale a tank of helium before hitting the gym

>Bandana Guy
Wears a bandana

>The Swag
Now this ones elusive as I've only seen him twice. Guy wears a Ed Hardy hat a puffy fur lined vest half unzipped with no shirt underneath and shorts with those like really high end designer sneakers.
>Mr. Niagra
One guy who sweats like a waterfall

Blonde girl, looks cute, doesn't lift.

>Biceps Bambi
Some random Curlbro with absolutely no legs.

The guy who stomps with every step on the treadmill.

>The Camera
He just stares at you. Maybe he's mirin? Maybe he's just a robot who records you and your workout.... I'm scared!

>Random Rival
The one who suddenly appears near you and you compete with.

>The Flower
Smells like one. usually female.

>Billy Mays
The one, who tries to sell you fitness related thing, while being unfit.
>Autistic Andy
Stares at the other patrons and makes up nicknames for them
fat guy who always sit for 2hours in the floor doing stretches
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>tfw scared you might end up in one of these threads as Mike the Autismo
>Mostafa Chickenlegs

A black advanced bodybuilder. He's really buff in the torso area but his legs are like toothpicks.
I've seen this a couple of times too, one guy doing it looked really rich, so i dont think they cant gloves. maybe its because you can throw them away after training and buy new ones, this way these neurotics will not ever come in contact with their on sweat
>Mark (Zuckerberg)
Always walks around gym talking to almost everyone. Exercices only about 3% of the time but stays for two hours a few times a week
>mfw I don't nickname anyone at my gym because i'm not an autist
My gym is pretty much 99% "Chicken Legs #1, #2, #3" etc etc

Every day is upper body day. Me and my two friends are genuinely, visibly shocked if the Squat rack is ever in use for its intended purpose.
>Captain Unwarranted Advice
Talks to fucking everyone. Think he might be a little slow. Made the mistake of making eye contact with him once while doing HIIT and he felt the need to tell me how important cardio is. Also he's like 5'2

> Gainless Arab
Fucker wears gloves and a sleeveless tee every time. Walks around with RBF and does like 10x20 on every arm related exercise. Never seen him do anything else.
you work at google?
>/fit/ incarnate
Facial aesthetics, HY haircut, 5'11" or 6'0", introverted.
Wears a striped buttondown and track shorts, one knee wrap.
Never talks to anyone, does compounds only and leaves after half an hour.
Milk jug of water
How do you even squat in jeans
>The Super Azn
The 6/10 average looking asian guy who could actually be 8/10 if he got a proper haircut that out deadlifts and squats 99.9% of the gym even though he probably only weighs 70kg. Does sweet splits for stretches then proceeds to destroy the boxing bag for cardio.

Also if you area reading this, I fucking want you.

Used to have a guy exactly like this at my last gym. Would bounce from machine to machine and do 2 minutes of ballistic cardio on each one.

> The Douche
6 foot 12% bf superbro roided up and mega in love with himself. Brings 8/10 gf to gym sometimes just to ignore her. Seen him several times sitting in adjacent machines with her, him with headphones in, while she talks to him. Then mid sentance he gets up without even looking at her and moves to another machine 50ft away, as she continues trying to talk to him.

Often see him flexing for 5 minutes at a time in the mirror between almost every set. Blondie baby faced dude with scraggly goatee trying to look less babyfaced. Seems strong but has terrible range of motion and no endurance.

> clint
Super white america type 27ish y/o dude that is really nice and seems cool enough but is a walking white upper middle class cliche and has a thing about needing to say hi to me EVERY time he sees me in the gym. Just me, no one else. Ive never talked to him. He doesnt seem gay as he has a gf but fuck if I really know. I dont know his real name but my wife dubbed him clint for his exceptional whiteness.
>I'm scared of having fun because people will think less of me if I'm not serious 1000% of the time and this doesn't make me an autist at all
he's trying to make friends with you. Did I actually need to say that?
> Shanghai Fashion Festival
these 5 asian dudes, all different built and heights yet always all wear the same colours
>creepy wolverine
Skinny ass guy who only does calisthenics, light weightlifting, and runs on the treadmill sideways and backwards. Has his beard trimmed into ''scars'' or divisions on his cheeks and it looks fucking retarded. Every time i walk into the gym and see him running sideways on the treadmill it irritates me so much. When he's doing light weighlifting he's teaching high school girls how to deadlift in the squat rack with awful form.
I've got a few in my uni gym

>Flat Chest Fritz
this dude is constantly in the gym, works really hard, great facial aesthetics. The only problem is he has absolutely no fucking chest. I've seen him bench over 2pl8's but still it's just like a flat piece of marble when he stands up

>Asian Jay Cutler
This dude is the most jacked asian I have ever seen, squats 4pl8's, seen him rack pull over 6pl8's. He is always wearing Jay Cutler gear when I see him in the gym, even his god damn shaker bottle that he takes with him has the brand on it. Other than that pretty cool guy though

>No Gains Harem
This group of five, i'm guessing Saudi's, that are always at my gym laughing among themselves as they do baby weight exercises. They stay out of the way for the most part, but god the smell is just horrible
This is probably me. You near Boston anon?
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>Tits- blonde mild with huge tits and a great ass that does nothing but hammy curls and some machines
>Bane- Big guy (for you) definitely should've been cast in the movie instead of tom hardy
>Backwards hat guy- god of aesthetics (both body and face), lifts an insane amount for his build, 6pl8 shrugs, 4.5pl8 squat, ALL THE PL8S deadlift, somehow doesn't look like a meathead, zyzz mode but better
>beauty and the beast- Hispanic couple. Boy only does bench press and machines, is builtfat and ugly as fuck, the girl is sortve qt and squats and does some other shit
>Aesthetic monk- 50+ yr old Asian man, good looking (nohomo) despite being old. Usually laughs silently at skeletons trying to bench 1pl8, he's in good shape too, does some shaolin looking stretches
>Leprechaun from Hell
Massive ginger with mega beard and absurd strength. Beyond bearmode, shouldn't belong at a gym, he's clearly done lifting.
>A V E R A G E
Average asian girl who dl's 2 plate. Perfect form.
>I have no idea what gender this tiny person is
Probably a girl. Does nothing but machines, very small.
>Beta Orbital Science Company
Large lifting group, made up of one girl and like 6 beta orbiters. They are all dyel and take up only one bench for the ~7 of them
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>wears clothing in black and pink trim
>all accessories; shoes, gloves, phone, headphones (beats by dre, offuckingcourse), everything is the exact same shade of pink.
>stands around talking with her dyel male friends constantly, otherwise just walks around the gym pretending to be elite
>has fuck all idea of how to lift anything, no program or useful exercises

>arab guy in full turban, has sclerosis or something so his legs are fubar, uses a walker to get around
>trains upper body like a mofo, does some heavy ass curls
>pretty cool guy

>forgetful fenglong
>puts his bag in the weight room, then goes about doing his machine sets or whatever somewhere else
>comes back to his bag every 3 minutes
>compulsive crossfitter; shit lifts
Easy-peasy has pretty nice face
Wow, such a radical. Doing warm up on a machine and then serious sets with free weights. How dare he.
Bear minimum.

I'm on to you bear.

what the hell is going on here? (pic)
>Actually a really nice guy, but he has everyone start with the bear minimum.
>the bear minimum
that's actually quite a lot, considering that the average bear can lift about 5000 pounds.
>The Juggernaut
Once he gains momentum, nothing can stop him. Wears a belt for curls.

>Mr. Potato Head
Down-syndrome looking dude who only ever does chest, yet has no chest. 25% bf. It's not because I always see him on the same day; I've seen him on multiple days, always chest. Maxes out at 70Kg on the bench.

>Hungry Skeleton
Goes for an hour on a stationary bike facing the wall in the very corner of a gym. 100% skin and bone.

>Hardcore lifting girl :-)
Wears crossfit and motivational t-shirts while being properly, laughably weak. Not just weak for a girl; extreme weakness. Talks to the awful PTs about her "training"

>The Narcissistic Douche
Messes up his programme so he can bench straight after a novice to assert his dominance over him. Is a massive dick, takes plates from people, leaves barbells loaded so others will have to look at how much he lifted. One of the most muscular and strong people there. Internally judges and nicknames people. Shitposts on 4chan (That's me)
Les Mills? i know someone who goes there
>the shield
Huge Mike Chiklis looking motherfucker, absolute bro.

>the ghosts of deadlifts past
Used to be competitive powerlifter, snapped his shit in a car accident and trains as a hobby since. Always wears clothes that hides his powerlevel, I thought he was just fat till he loaded 200kg and pulled it for like 10 reps like it was nothing.

>chad no-traps
Built manlet with a bizarrely horizontal shoulder line.

A tiny PT

He looks almost exactly like the first PT. Took me like a week to realize there were 2 of them. I'm still not sure.

>grandpa plessgoe
Gray haired dude, been "working out" since the stone age and seems to be as senile as that would imply. Walks around the gym giving people tips like "look at me man, I mostly eat celery" *flexes* "what the hell are you doing eating meat" *scoffs*

>dat asshtray
fit chick with the best ass you ever beheld, works out religiously, then smokes

Mix of squat and butterface. Chick with smoking body, dat squat ass, uninviting resting bitch face

>the party girl
Works out in yoga pants, tiny top, wearing shit like make up, navel rings and bracelets.
Signed up on friday night and already knew half the gym's names by saturday afternoon. Horrible flabby partygirl ass that not even the yogapants could salvage. Does every glute/thigh exercise she can think off with no weight, plus any bw exercises that put her in compromising positions and absolutely nothing else. Has looked the same for months.

>the /fit/izen
I see you doing SL, skellington. Your belt is loose and useless, your lower back is rounded. I hope you've thanked the gorilla.
Im aware. I dont want friends. I give off this vibe exorbitantly. Boggles my mind why he insists.
Then he would be actual /fit/izen.
She failed to generate forcefield which was supposed to repel the instructor.
>back in uni
The queer crew
Her (major crush)
EEP (minor crush)
Pin arm Pundeej
Loud Plates (ccsu nigger samurai from the news)
Row Row Retard
/fit/izen (machine ss)

Maybe it's those foam things that work your forearms more
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There a dude who lifts in the pump room that I just refer to as "The Big Guy." He's probably too str8 to post here, but if you're here, please reveal yourself.
then why did the instructor go into a seizure?
Mike the autismo
>stutters when I ask how many sets he has left
>actually doing ss
>lurks 4chan between sets
To act like he was hurt too because he thinks if that's the case then he can't get in trouble or something. He's pretty autistic
Got my own gym now (more or less), but last year in asian uni we had plenty

>Silent danger
Never said a word to anyone in the gym. He invented some weird alternating db press when he flung his arms around with 5kg dumbells simulating crawl swim.

Would load up 80kg (175lbs) and bench it for a fistlength before throwing it back. He had plenty of weird shit running.

>Chest monster
A 165cm bulldog like monster who loaded up 3plate for his warmup. His breathing sounded like some hydralic machine. After pushing his bench reps he usually would pin down any group of people around him, forcing them to speak about k-pop and girl singers or find me and spoil the next Game of Thrones episode.
I used to see this all the time at my old gym
Dianna The Dyke Dynamo 2000

Late 20's early 30's lezzy, built fat to all hell. Always bragging about running the next fucking obsticle marathon, and hangs out around the treadmills. Never runs, and mean mugs every dude as he walks by. Strong for a woman, but not strong enough to be a man. Also, comes to boxing class, but never free spars, only hits the mitts with another smaller she/male R2D2 type counterpart dyke.
Squats 3 plate atg effortlessly for like 15 reps at a time legs are out of this world.

>Brick shithouse and Co
1 massive darker skinned dude who has like 10 inch wrists and is fucking wide as a doorway and his friend who is like 6,1 and equally big.

5,1 manlet who only has ever done chest, wears a compression shirt which makes his chest look like synthol.

>Unsolicited advice man
Morbidly obese iranian guy at around 30% bodyfat who walks around giving shit advice to almost everybody. Thinks he's a beast because he can bench 110kg at 200kg bodyweight.
He also "trains" some dude who is actually pretty big.

>The russian
Big, bald and says about 2 words.

>The dwarf
Actually a dwarf

>Kai green at 55
Guy who has exact same facial structure as Kai "grapefruit" Green and shouts while spotting people who are squatting
>Al Borland :

Guy who works out in a flannel, jeans and some work boots. Usually just got off work from his construction job. Pretty strong, all around nice guy though.

Anyone know this guy haha?
>Unsolicited advice man

I hate these guys. I call mine Bro-Science Bobby
Oh christ I had a dyke at my gym who challenged me once

>be 5'8 71kg manlet
>look small but sort of strongish
>walk into the gym and go towards the squat rack
>it's squat day 5/3/1
>bulldyke in the rack
>ask her if I can work in
>"sorry kid, I'm not taking all my plates off for your measly 40kg squat"
>she's squatting 80kg topkek
>"alright, how about if I handle the plates?"
>"fine by me"
>see barbell loaded with 2pl8 nearby
>unrack 80kg and put it on the floor
>make sure dyke is looking at me
>clean up 2pl8 and put it on the bar
>do a few reps for warmup
>fucked up my set but it was 140kg 5+ and I had to get that bitch to eat her words
>add 3pl8 and do 6 reps
>face rep but act like it's np
>don't even take the bar off and walk away
>see dyke struggling to take off all my plates
>loads 80kg
>does half reps
>have eye contact in the mirror as she half reps
>shake head and go do my accessories
HA! Yes this fucking guy. Mine wips out gardening gloves to boot.
When i was a pussy i used to replace gloves with sponges
>>"sorry, I'm not expecting you to take care of my plate for doing my measly 40kg squat"
I bet you were just a cunt to a nice girl
Easy peasy would get it
Just sayin'
Ok SJW here's the reality

>you won't get laid over the internet by being a "good guy"
>you won't get laid over the internet especially if you're a knight in shining armor for a bulldyke that you aren't even talking to

Fucking DYELs
>Comes in wearing shorts, black dress socks, and a tshirt
>clearly doing SS
>wears a belt for squats and deads over one plate
>looks utterly defeated the whole time
>never showers at the gym

If he stops showing up it's probably because he killed himself
>Fucking DYELs
sorry to ruin your story

I bet you are really strong and mighty at your 5"8

don't let the sjw warriors trample over your manlet spirit
Topkek mad because the bulldyke didn't put out dyel?
Noice! You should have told her Thanks and it was a-your privilege to workout with her.

The Dynamo likes to do TRX suspension training and fancies herself a semi authority on the subject.

>Dyke comes to boxing class
>slow night, only me and instructor
>be pissed because thought I was going to get to train hard
>instructor long time bro fellow Martial arts Vet
>pairs us up
>tells me to go easy
>When I hold the mits, she hits as hard as she can
>still not very hard
>When she hold I go easy
>still struggling
>Half way through, tells me I don't have to hit like a gurl and she can take it
>start sending hot ones hard and fast
>can't take it, keeps backing up
>I move with her, start cutting angles, and control the distance and fighting measure at all times like I was trained
>She starts shacking all over, and has a look on her face like she is being grudge fucked for the first time
>Coach walks over, tells her to take a break. Go hit the heavy bag.
>Mean mugs me rest of the class.
>Coach takes over, makes me check his fucking power leg kicks the rest of the class

Never comes alone to class now. Always has her little R2D2 Dyke with her to hold the mitts for her, and beats the shit out of her.
it would have made a better story, try telling it like that next time

also, dyel DYEL lol
The Salesman
>constantly talking to the most ripped dudes in the gym and old dudes
>wears a hoodie and sweats to hide whatever is is he's hiding
>never works out but is there for at least an hour and a half
>pretty sure he just sells steroids

>works out in polo and track pants either doing light weight on machines or ab work
>lanky as fuck
>does not even think about talking to people

The Trainers
>Father and son who go to gym together in all sweats
>make no eye contact with anyone
>why is this kid not getting ready for school it's like 7:30am
>don't pay too much attention to them but they're really only in the gym for 30 minutes usually and I've only seen them do skullcrushers and db flies
>never step foot in locker room

>60 year-old dude who literally only does abs
>does machines at pretty high weight
>spends a little over an hour there
>only non ab-workout I've seen him do is body weight dips
>low bf% so probably shredded abs

>black dude who always walks like he just had the hardest leg day of his life then fucked up his spine
>only does machine rows and pec fly

>around 50 year old skinny italian dude
>does every variation of curls then like 2 ab workouts
>works out in polo with ripped sleeves
>looks like he's worked out for 4 months but probably goes twice a week for years
>takes progress pics each time he goes

Slick from linustechtips
>looks exactly like Slick
>does a bunch of curls
>kinda fat
>then does 15 minutes of light cardio followed by sitting in locker room in underwear drinking protein shake
I fucked a chick that looked just like easy peasy once. Terrible lay but damn she was easy. Basically just took her clothes off and stuck it in, it was pretty boring. Of course she was completely infatuated with me after. Oh the cling...
I'm not the one whiteknighting for a hamplanet bulldyke who smelled like rotten fish across the gym, and I wouldn't even look at if I were paid for it. And yes I do. DYEL? I'd love to see what you look like, but obviously that'll never happen
Looks otherwise normal and has some muscle, but wears a scarf on his head and a fedora/trilby while training.
Fedora pls. This can't be real. in a GYM?
wow you really fire yourself up there, what's your next step? post pictures of yourself to claim your title as king of the manlets? go for it, the thread is yours

I bet that hamplanet bulldyke was secretly in love with you after your monumental accomplishment in the squat rack. in fact I bet everyone in the gym look up...... to you.

keep fighting there and watch out for any sjw femnazi dyke propaganda. I bet you have a lot of those coming for you
Haha you sound upset DYEL
>Beta Orbital Science Academy
best name so far.
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>tfw when I'm Mr. Niagra at my gym
LOL it just happens sorry bro
>Jailbait twins
Two girls that look way older than they are, they are not really twins but always do everything togheter
>The Cube
The king of overcompensating manlets, he almso reached the 1:1 height to widht ratio
>Sir Talkalot
A rich cubby guy, friend fo The Cube.I help him in is lifts but rarely does lift himself, he prefers to talk
>The Bald Eagle
A roided guy that sport a mohawk with a bald spot in the middle, he also has giant lats and loves to skip legs days
>the ghost of deadlifts past
this remember me of Craig of that long greentext story
*He helps him
>captain calisthenics
He literally has never touched a weight. Rocks into the gym and does balancing and stretchs for ~2 hours and fucks off. 0 gains but he can stand on a medicine ball
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Skitter the ass-spitting mad shitter

>mid late 30's ripped faggot
>always running to the locker room to take a shit mid workout. Locked in perpetual shit for 45 mins or longer.
>always in there when I leave shitting his brains out.
>making sad straining noises and sounds like he is sobbing
>shits all over the toilet, sometimes doesn't flush.
>one day, coming out of the shower, see him leaving the stall.
>have to piss
>someone else in the urinal
>go into stall
>shit splattered everywhere
>toilet full of shit and bloody toilet paper
> NOPE.jpg
>walk out disgusted
>see him later with his faggot lovers
>ask him WTF?
>at least clean that shit and flush
>Almost starts crying.
>Tells me he has recently had surgery on is butthole, and there is something wrong, and says he is sorry and will be better about cleaning his mess.
>look at his faggot boyfriend with disgust on my face, and tell him to try being the catcher more.

>mfw the gym owner asked me not to come back the next day.
>late 40`s maybe 50
>bald head
>looks just like hitman
>used to be a volleyball player
>lifts a lot
>great guy in general
>has a shitload of awesome stories
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>The Twink
Sociable little Asian guy. Doesn't actually strike me as gay but he works out for that twink physique. Talks to me every day and is amazed at how hard I exert myself (?)

>Swole Depressed Asian
Not actually depressed, but between sets his face falls, as if he wishes he didn't have to stop. Does incline and decline bench, but no flat bench, and his routine seems to be constantly changing except for those two lifts.

>That greasy fat bald Indian fuck that won't stop staring at me
He's probably mad because I'm white and he's old

Every day is lat raise day for Swingbrah. By lat raise I mean Full Body Weighted Arm Swings. He hunches over to bring his dumbbells in front of his crotch, then grows his upper body backwards as he extends his arms. Almost requires an angelic soundtrack and a glowing light behind him.
He does a fuckload of cardio though so I'm not hatin. Which brings me to...

Nice body but a butter face, Elliptigirl spends literally hours a night on the ellipticals. Strange as fuck.

>Future Me
Guy in his thirties, 6'2, looks like he's at his natty potential, bald but he fucking owns it. Routine is solid, though he does wear brand name sports gear.

>Future Me's GF
As tall and fit as Future Me. May be late twenties, or her lifestyle is kind to her. Doesn't share Future Me's routine, but hers is okay too.

>the Africans
These two fucking huge African guys. About my height (6'3) and jacked as all fuck, they stare at me for minutes at a time. Like fifteen plus minutes at a time. There's nothing quite like finishing squats, turning around and seeing one of them doing barbell glute raises a few metres away, head turned to watch me as he thrusts the bar up and back. No homo Afribro.

There's also a rotating cast of assorted Asians that I got some reason associate with Lemmings. Might be their group approach to lifting and follow the leader mentality.
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>The non-natty neckbeard

This guy is the weirdest fucking creature I've ever seen. I see him riding around campus (University gym) all the time on his fucking razor scooter. He frequently is wearing MLP shirts/pins, even wearing them in the gym sometimes. I've talked to him a couple times in passing and he is so socially awkward that I can't fucking bear to spend a second with him.


Dude is a fucking monster

Squats 4 plate without a fucking effort. He does fucking warmup deadlifts heavier than my 1RM. He benches well over 300 for multiple reps.

Dude is honestly one of the strongest guys in our gym...but...fuck...I don't understand it
>salmon with ketchup
A roiding manlet that looks like a fish, not even kidding. He's really swole, but the roids have caused ketchup skin.
>Justin Verlander
A guy that looks like Justin Verlander and only does circuit training.
A 60 year old man that always wears a polo and jeans. To top it off: he wears gloves.
>The Captain
A guy that look like Jack Sparrow. He has the same facial hair.
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The guy sounds like a champ
Wish I had some cool people in my gym, but I just use my parents garage and my dads equipment from the 80s-90s

>tfw no social life as I'm almost completely shut in other than working
if I see you im gonna knock your lanky ass out
Easy Peasy and Babypants can have the D.
>between sets his face falls, as if he wishes he didn't have to stop

Lol, these were actually pretty good
This guy with mutton chops I've only seen once or twice
Frat reject that only comes in to do curls
>Slow Jackie Chan
Asian dude who comes in jordans and pj bottoms, only does body weight exercises and some on the cable machine
>The asian training squad

Three small chinese who seem to appear now and again, all small and dyel. They're always kitted out with gloves, headbands and matching t shirts. One takes a leader role shouting out orders to the others. They do all kind of ridiculous exercises and leave weights lying all over the floor.
Why is Conan advocating domestic violence?

Ah shit, this is me in 20 years.
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>Blacktavius V
Generic massive black guy. pushes 3 pl8 like its light w8 m8

>Moses Squats Plenty
chubby native american guy with hockey hair who sneers and smirks at me while using the assisted squat thing

>Statler and Waldorf
grumpy old guys who glare at everyone while doing curls.

>Kurtis Kristoffer Kenton
Middle aged fat guy with a shaved head and tattoos. Looks like he belongs in a KKK rally. Always nods at me and says "hey".

>are you him?
>Squat Mistress
That 40-something, 1.50 cm womanlet with the roundest and most fucking awesome ass of the entire gym who acts like she was the alphaest fucking dude of the entire gym. Her demeanor makes me believe that having sex with her would result in death by snu-snu.

>Squat Mistress's Cohort
That 40-something, 1.75 cm woman with 3/10 face and 10/10 ass who always wears crop tops that show her fucking awesome midriff.

>Former Curlbro
That PT who started out grunting, screaming, turning red like a fucking beet and almost passing out while half-squatting 2 plates and now full squats that shit with little effort.

That 1.85 meter shit-skin who actually looks a lot like Ronaldinho.
If you had to fuck one, uh, person in this photo, who would it be
>The Dork

DYEL, but with good form on everything
Wears oly shoes even though his lifts are shit.
lifts alone, autistic tendencies (e.g. excessive staring)
This guy who wears one of the masks that regulate how much air you can breathe at once, so he looks and sounds like Bane
>The Otter
That guy who comes to the gym to do a bodyweight workout. Will do box lunges with kettlebells on the oly lift platform, superset with pushups and the seated calf machine.
That girl who has the waist, hips, and lats of a guy.

Bald guy who wears one of those altitude masks while he lifts. Does a circuit program that consists of 3 varieties of curls.

Built 6'2" guy who comes always comes in wearing a black shirt with the batman logo on it. Only person I've seen in my gym who squats and deadlifts with good form. Pulls 4 plate for reps. Never speaks to anyone.

>one day they are destined to battle
So many Banes... Those masks are everywhere
Where do you work out?
>middle aged samurai
cool half asian bro who never does anything but biceps but i enjoy chatting about sports with
>Manlet o' Mass
Black but not too black manlet who is big as fuck and probably squats double my squat
>super dyel bros
two kids who always lift together but do their bench press on the smith machine, both are skellys probably about 16
>facepalm kid
see him squatting 3 plates on smith machine but only doing .25 reps
>Naked ED
This guy is bro tier, but hes litterally always fucking naked. Talk to him about everything while he's naked, in good shape for a almost 60 year old guy. Always talks to me about not going to heavy, and doing 100 crunches a day in the sauna. Can swim for miles. Seriously though Ed, put some damn shorts on.

He's the other /fit/izen at my gym. Manlet, squats excessively, permabulking, doesn't make eye contact or acknowledge me when I say hello, doesn't speak to anybody else in the gym. Is likely limited to only internet human contact.

The girl who has next to no bodyfat. She lifts, she does cardio, she weighs maybe 85lbs. At first I thought she was anorexic, then I thought that maybe she's a marathon runner, but now I'm thinking she's anorexic again. She's friendly enough, but looks like a skelly.

It's a shame I have a girlfriend, because she makes eye contact with me often enough and is flirty. It's tempting to dump my DYEL letting-herself-go girl for her, but I'm stuck in a lease with said girlfriend for 6 more months.

Bald guy, roided as fuck, very friendly and chatty
Holy fuck this is a perfect thread.

>Burka Derka
Muslim woman wearing a hijab. Goes into the gym, gets a pair of dumbbells, then stands on top of a bench. Freezes like a deer in headlights because of self consciousness or whatever reason, then step down after a minute and awkwardly leave.

its all a giant ruse and you fell for it ahahahaa
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>Natty Ned
This ridiculously yolked kid who always give me bone-crushing handshakes and always tells me to do his regimen. It allowed him to put on 40lbs of muscle in one month and lose fat!

6'9 270lb monster who wears punisher t-shirt often. Is known to ask to work in and completely show you up on any exercise.

>Perma-cut Pete
Personal friend of mine who's an ex-fatty and as a result is terrified to gain any mass.
Looks like some radki bullshit. Google "yellow bamboo" for some Aussies being fags.
Wait, were you the guy in the PLG thread checking deadlift form???
Its to control his chakra or sumshit, he explained it on Tosh.0
>Arms brah
Chill bro who does 2 hours of shoulder press, concentrated bicep curls and cable extensions. Incredible facial aesthetics but no chest at all. Suspect he's gay.

>Gainz Guru
Another chill bro who's taken every supplement there is and has swole upper body gainz but no legs. He's pretty wise about getting swole and is often asked for advice. Knows who zyzz is and emulates his gym attire.

>Sidekick bro
Yet another chill dude whos looking to get juicy as fuark and teams up with me throught most sessions. Pretty normal guy except hes full of bro science

>P-pls respond
qt3.14 who is serious about lifitng but always has a cold look in her face. She does heavier dls and squats than most people in the gym.

>Forevar Cuttan
Ex fatty who lost 200 pounds in 1.5 years doing cross fit tier shit. Is scared about getting mass gainz because muh goals

>Rackin tits
7/10 who makes lots of eye contact with me but because autismo, blah, blah. Has no ass but does squats every day all day
>Kim Jung Eel
some asian dude who I always seem to share lanes with in the pool on friday afternoons. he's kinda chubby but he goes hard.

>fuck cardio
a guy I met who competed in the Kona Iron Man world champs

>tie dye nice guy
some weird ass hippy skeleton who always does hacky sack by himself in open spaces of the gym, and outside of the gym.
seriously what the fuck bro
underated toast
>Angry Pirate Man.

Permanently angry face with balding scraggly shoulder length hair , deadlifts 4plate for reps with horrific form. Ez Bar curls with belt. Those are the only two exercises I have ever seen him do. Seems chill enough to talk to tho
>dyel dave

>tfw homegym
Maybe he is the embodiment of all the 4chan boards in 1 person?
MLP shits cringy, dec show tho
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fucking hell fit
> Hot Pie
Looks exactly like Hot Pie from Game of Thrones. Sometimes goes on a treadmill and cranks it up to the fastest setting he can handle (not very fast), runs for 5 seconds then can't keep up.

Mr. Narrow scares the shit out of me.

Like a deep, primal fucking fear. Jesus Christ I need to wake up early tomorrow and you show me this.

Builds a fortress of dumbells around his bench so he can superset every one of his arm and shoulder isolation exercises. 45s are his favorite; they make great parapets.
fellow bostonian here. i work out in allston, what about you? i need friends
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>Based God
really big dude, pretty strong, very knowledgeable, friendly as fuck and gives great advice

35+ year old dude. Douchey and acts like a prick. My buddy seen his instagram account and all his pictures are retarded with too many hastags and too many retarded effects.

Tall ass dude that's probably autistic as fuck. asked me to take off my tank top while working out because it hinders my movement.

>Club rat
some 40 year old dude with a shitty mohawk. always talks about clubbing and shit. seems pretty sad to me.

Guy that clearly roids

that guy that hangs upside down by the legs in the power cage to do some curls/crunches
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