/SIG/ Self Improvement General.
How have you improved yourself this week/month/year? Lifting isn't life, a well-balanced human being is productive, has hobbies, pushes him/herself to succeed, is charismatic, and strives to live the best life they can. Share your successes, failures, methods, and everything in between.
It can be too overwhelming at first, so take baby steps, but START and move forward.
Things I recommend:
-Use a calendar, like google calendar. Hours and shit for things YOU WILL DO.
-Start having ‘to-do’ lists. I use google Keep and it works pretty nice.
-Have a productivity Framework that is flexible. I use the Getting things done. Works pretty nice
-Learn to focus. Turn off everything else.
-Do routines for things you should do periodically. Chores, laundry, cleaning.
-Identify and Eliminate conflicts within yourself. I’ll detail this on a post further down.
-Focus on identifying the time wasters in your life and eliminate them.
-Focus on the essentials. Don’t grasp too much
More reading material needs to be added
The Way of The Seal
The Code of the Warrior - Rick Fields
The Story of Civilization - Will Durant
The Story of Philosophy - WIll Durant
Starship Troopers - Robert Heinlein 1959 (actually has a lot of really powerful character building stuff in there)
Bravo Two Zero - Andy McNab
Immediate Action - ^
Seven Troop - ^
Quiet: The Power of Introverts - Susan Cain
One Small Step Can Change Your Life: The Kaizen Way - Robert Maurer
>Mentally Tough - James E. Loehr & Peter J. McLaughlin
>Antifragile - Nassim Taleb
>The Brain That Changes Itself - Norman Doidge
>The Power of Now - Eckhart Tolle
Material reading can be tricky. There will be trash here and there as we're not /lit/.
But we have to trust others.
The image has a detailed list that an Annon provided on a thread a while back.
Also, Project Gutenberg has Thousands of free books.
You could do lot worse than browsing their top 100
"Freedom is having control of your life"
You should at least have 3 hobbies/activities.
-One that will pay the bills, gets food on your table
-One that will keep you in shape. (lower you faggot)
-One that you're passionate about and might be able to develop into a career.
If you're into lifting, taking the tips to better yourself should be simple; as you already have built some self-discipline.
Make peace with yourself and the way things are right now.
Stop thinking the world owes you more, how those guys have it easier. Accept things as they are, realize that life is cruel and your circumstances are the ones you were given. You can’t do shit about the starting point, but you can move forward.
Don’t focus in what was given to you, focus in what you’ll achieve.
Eliminate the things you dislike about yourself, about your life. Is as simple as, do you enjoy your job? No? Take steps to change the feeling.
How are you gonna make that? You either make your job more enjoyable, or you change jobs. Simple.
You want a girl? how do you plan to achieve that? Are you too socially inept? Work on that. Are you piss poor and can’t afford dates? Work on that too.
No matter who you are, where you are in your life, or how fucked up you think you are.
You can improve your life. Take control. Move forward.
Dreams keeps us alive, fighting for them makes us feel alive.
About 5-7 years ago, I was a fucking train-wreck.
Right now, I'm doing fairly well.
Get some discipline, set some goals and a way to achieve them.
Cultivate yourself, learn stuff, get your shit together.
If you're still in School. For fuck sake pay attention.
MORE than half of actually doing good in school is attending, the other half is paying attention in class. So then do it.
Or stop it altogether.
If you’re in college and you’re not feeling it, take a semester to think things through.
If you’re in high school, don’t think YOU NEED to enter college to be successful. There are other ways…
If you’re interested in Education. WATCH this talk:
Choose anything you want, If you want to go into Philosophy or Social studies, That's fucking great. As long as you’re passionate you can always become a teacher or a writer.
BUT BE FUCKING AWARE THAT YOU WILL HAVE A HARD TIME MAKING MONEY. Don't get a loan to study shit that will be expensive to repay.
Other than that, don't enter into something soulless just because 'I'll get money'.
You only got one fucking life, life is too short to spend it into something you hate.
You could do way worse than learning a new language.
Duolingo.com is a fucking AWESOME site for that. Go give that a check.
>If you think more recommended readings, video, images, section, material, website should be added (Or taken off). Please say it with a reply.
Another week another no lifting; at least I've been getting some cardio in at home. I wish this damn cold weather would fuck off and die, slick roads were the thing that kept me away from the gym today.
Seconding Calendar and Keep. Especially if you have a Droid, they're fantastic.
Hey guys, I've been addicted to porn and fapping for 4 years now. Before I used to be very social and confident, but I think all the porn has fucked with my brain.
How do I stop fapping? Give me your best tips Please.
I didn't know where to post this so I'll post it here.
I feel like I'm mediocre in everything I do, be it school, training or lifting. I only do the minimum.
How do I give the best always? Is that even possible?
The first few posts are a bit overwhelming for someone with a fragile mind like myself.
Plus I think the reading list is too big, not everyone will find all those books interesting.
I think you should recommend maybe 3-5 essential books for everyone and then have people follow their own interests.
Anyway I am trying to read and have started learning to draw alongside lifting.
WHAT UP /SIG/ WE'RE HOME ON A SATURDAY NIGHT BUT FUKIT MAN
just wanted to say i went and djed for the first time last night and it was fun as fuck. it probably doesnt sound like much since people hear 'oh you djed thats fucking easy anyone could do that' and, first off thats so fucking true, but for me it was getting over the fear of actually performing. it was at this small ass place with not too many people but the fear and anxiety were still a large obstacle for me. for years this has been something i kept telling myself i needed to just go ahead and do, at least a few times. because i enjoy it as a hobby and knew it would be fun. so 2 weeks ago i just said fuck it and asked the venue if i could come spin and they said yes the next week bam im djing up there.
so yeah /sig/, that promotion, that girl you like, whatever the fuck it is JUST FUCKING ASK cont
and another thing is, dont fucking undersell yourself.
you truly are better than you think.
the amount of skill and standard that is required for something to be passably acceptable is stupidly low. the other guys that were up there spinning (think they actually worked at the place and were the regular people in charge of music) were literally just going up and putting on youtube videos. and people were responding positively, why was i afraid? this was something i actually practiced out and i was afraid of messing up? no, you have to put that behind you, realize you kick ass and go out and prove that to the world.
so yeah, man up, build your confidence, take on all struggles and obstacles and make life your bitch.
I have. You should, but with a few caveats:
1. Drugs other than LSD are often sold as acid. Some of these are fairly nasty. Get good stuff, test it if possible, and spit out any bitter tabs. LSD is tasteless.
2. The setting you are in will determine the outcome of the trip. Put yourself in a positive environment with people you trust.
3. You will experience a profound change in your perception that will give you the ability to see things from a previously unknown perspective. The effects will pass entirely in 12 hours but the experience and the emotions and changes in outlook that came with it will stay with you.
I know this general is about to get your shit together and reaching your goal.
But what should i do if i cant find a goal?
all my life i have been studying to get in a good uni and now that i am i dont want it anymore.
i have nothing, all the things that i wanted to be or could be were molded so i can get where i am, but i never knew what i wanted, so i kept going, and i cand just keep doing this because others told me to
im lost, halp /fit/
i think you just have to stop man there really isnt a magic trick for it... like one night i just decided to stop being a porn addict so i deleted the gigs of stuff i had and didnt fap for 3 weeks. no fap doesnt work magic but if you break the addition to it and porn it will make you feel a bit better
>I only do the minimum
i try my best when i lift but i still feel this way at school and work
i still fear being inadequate at stuff but i like what you said... ill just do what i can do. thanks brah
shit man life is confusing but you’ve proved you can put your mind to something and be successful i think you’ll find something
I finally worked up the motivation to go out and apply for some jobs today and stop being a lazy friendless loser virgin NEET. I ended up rear ending someone. Go figure.
Made it back home and applied somewhere online, did some homework a few days ahead of time and then got to starting cardio again. Did a good three miles or so, felt great afterwards. My bad luck can go fuck itself.
Neet for 4 years here, no social life and stayed in doors.
I'm going back to school in september and I'm already nervous thinking about it, how to cope?
During my day to day life I have no social interaction so my anxiety comes from being around people again, i think
You have to jump into the crucible and talk to people. It's better if you start now; find some social outlets, even if it's something really spurgy like Magic the Gathering. 7 Habits of Highly Effective people has some chapters on conversation and is a good thing to read in general. You'll also need to fix your sleep schedule and organization now if you're going to make it through school. The tools people were discussing earlier (Calendar and Keep) really make a big difference, but you'll need some time to figure them out; no time like the present.
I'm curious to know why it's even mentioned that aspiring to up your level to pay for dates is self improvement. Men should focus exclusively on themselves and building their personal empire. From there, the women should flock by themselves and you can filter out the hoes for the quality ones.
That said, I guess it *is* a little fedora what I am saying (especially if you're into feminism), so, assuming you are falling for traditional gender roles, what's the max you will spend on a date and what's your 'go to' routine to keep things interesting?
Split bill. If have to pay for all of it, its the last dinner me and you are having. I don't care if I make a million times more than you.
My go to place will be my shrimp boat so she can help me sort these shrimps.
i did this for all of HS. i would only say ive recovered in the last year or so. 22 now. still room for improvement tho as always.
The best advice for any situation though is to fail your way through it, and thats just how its gonna be. The only other alternative is to not have what you want, for me thats not an option, hopefully you feel the same.
How fucking petty can you be?
Go to some of the clubs meetings at your college. Find something you like and use it as your sanctuary. I was really depressed at college until I started going to an EDM club thing and now I am socializing with people who have things in common with me other than just that I am in CS. College can be really isolating, make sure you are using all of the outlets available to you.
You're sounding like a fatty that says quitting eating shit is way too hard.
It is. I'm with you.
But you can do it man.
Google "how to beat addiction" and take it from there.
No fapp is an odd beast. But I'll be honest, I totally changed my life (after a year of not having sex) when I finally started doing no fap and lasted something like 7 months.
I started fapping again, but things are way different now.
You sound like you have an inferiority complex. And it will never be enough.
Work on that man, it can be done. Why do you feel you're mediocre?
Unsure if you're troll, but this is a nice tread so I'll bite.
It's hard to recommend books. I placed a disclaimer there. We're carrying a lot of baggage from previous /SIG/ threads. I tried to clean up a little actually.
As I said, it is overwhelming, but you can start with baby steps.
Or even an own board like this. Yeah.
You want to stay single?
How old and where are you man?
What do you like? What do you enjoy?
Finding yourself is one of the hardest things to do.
And fucking trust me, no matter what you choose, you'll end up having regrets.
But take a while, a weekend. Go camping, alone or with a mentor, get away from online connections. And have a long meditation about where your life is going.
Good shit man
Like someone said, find friends with common ground, like videogames and shit.
An annon recommended the book a while now, and I think it fits your situation, give a read to:
>Quiet: The power of introverts
You got some ideas there. I'll consider editing the sticky
READ THIS FAGGOTS
Thank me later. Best self-development I know.
It could be considered cardio
That shit is really good. I'll put it in the sticky i modified.
1 year ago:
>playing vidya all day
>studying in uni
>quit smoking weed and cigs
I'd like to add something more but there's nothing. Still anti-social and no gf..
Some improvement was made though
Why did you tried taking your own life?
How old & where you at?
I was failing because I was having trouble motivating myself to go to classes. Just playing video games all day and sinking into depression. Anti-depressants didn't help so I just took a bunch of pills. I knew it probably wouldn't kill me but I my mom found the empty pill bottle and got sent to the ER. I was fine besides some tremors.
Currently 18 now. As for my progress with the gym I've lost 20lb (was 210lb 5' 11'')and have decent muscle mass.
(+) A's on all my midterms
(+) Keeping in touch with family
(+) Working out consistently
(+) Large social circle (in a fraternity)
(-) Drink too much
(-) Spend too much money and stupid things
(-) Do drugs occasionally
(-) Skipped 3 classes last week
(-) Inconsistent sleep schedule
Any tips for someone to get on a consistent sleep schedule? I know I can change going to class and watch my spending with effort, but I always end up staying up too late and sleeping in.
Also, how does one cut back on drinking in college? I am in a fraternity, and I love some aspects of it, but there is a large pressure to drink 3+ times a week which is expensive and detrimental to my progress. Any tips on balance?
I really need to get this off my chest, no idea if someone is going to identify or understand this predicament.
Decided to do something about being so skinny a month ago.
Started going to the gym everyday [spoiler](I know you're supposed to rest so your muscles can grow more, read on and you'll understand why I go everyday)[/spoiler], my diet has changed a lot ever since. I've never been one to eat trash food, but I feel like lately I've been growing hungrier and hungrier for real, cooked meals.
So, the results of this first month seem pretty promising, I can now run a lot more, gained 2kg (still holding 4,5% of bodyfat) and I feel a lot angrier. About everything. About everyone. I just cannot fucking stand people anymore, I cannot stand how people can live their lives in insecurity, how they're able to surrender themselves so easily to fear and how fucking spineless most of the people I know are.
Fuck these fucking ex's with no self-respect who keep trying to talk to me to get something out of me, go get a life of your own, move on, find another guy, I don't care!
Fuck my fucking "friends" who put pussy on a pedestal and give up on anything as soon as it starts getting hard.
Fuck people who are desperate for attention.
It took me way too long to realize how stupid the people close to me are. How fucking dumb I've been to mistake my own sadness with a lack of spine. I have a spine and jsut because I'm miserable it doesn't mean I'm going to seek an easy way out.
I have cut my antidepressants friday and I've been struggling all weekend with the withdrawal symptoms. They're slapping the shit out of me, I can't stop feeling like I should go back and these symptoms are just going to stop and things are going back to "normal".
My mood has been swinging heavier than women in menopause, but I gotta deal with it, just like I've dealt with every shit hand that has been given to me. I gotta take care of myself because others aren't going to. I don't think I'm better than anyone else, I can't even start comparing myself with other people just because of how horrible I feel every morning when I wake up from my night terrors, but I can't help feeling absolute anger towards everything right now.
Anyway, I'll keep up with my routine, the results I'm getting from the gym are only motivating me even more than I thought they would. I probably need this more than anything right now, because I'm just unable to give a single fuck about anyone but myself, so I might as well make the best of it.
I've only scratched the surface, but this looks fucking good.
It gets better man. It's easy to be cynical about the hallmark phrases and self-help books when you're in the middle of the shit storm.
But it's true. My life used to be such a fucking mess back then.
Currently I'm doing fairly good. I've got my life on my hands, no debt, no addictions, wining some good cash, single, lifting.
That's why I keep putting these threads up.
We're all going to make it man.
You're walking a thin line there man. Careful. People ARE stupid, but that's just what people are.
You, on another time, were no different.
Hope you can come the other side man, I read ya.
OP-kun you have a lot of shit in the reading list. I'm not reading one Andy McNab book let alone three.
Here's a non-shit book list
Is meditation actually a reasonable activity? Is it just some hippie crap or does it actually help? Im like 90% normalfag actually, reasonably social, good student, got gf, anyway life is sweet atm so im not trying desperate moves. But Im intrigued with meditation.
It's excellent. Helped my buddy out of life threatening depression and he has since become an amazing person.
He credits a lot of his progress to a YouTube channel called Actualized.org
I checked it out a while ago and there was some great stuff there. It definitely convinced me to take my spiritual side more seriously. Watch the video on "finding Truth". He explains how religion etc are all just stories ABOUT truth but miss the pooh completely, misleading masses of people and causing great suffering. Talks about paradoxes and how you must be able to hold them in your head for decades at a time. Very interesting stuff if you are prepared to keep your biases an prejudice at the door for an hour.
Source: an ex fedora tipping atheist who was cynical about everything and everyone
Just try it for 5 minuts a day when you're alone. Do it before you go to bed or just after you woke up. I've done it on occasion and let me tell you, i can be focused like hell on days that i meditate.
Well to be honest Im not very interested in taking my spiritual side more seriously. What Id like is generally have a minute with myself, relax and think about whatever is in my head atm. Guess Ill try it when I wake up tomorrow.
i'm thinking about buying a month's supply of some kind of soylent-alternative.
any of you zen-ass motherfuckers try meal replacements?
i'm sick of owning so much kitchenware and so much food in my kitchen and going to the grocery store so often. it's very un-minimal and i don't like it.
I have really good self discipline and i make good progress on the things i want to do. However I have a problem, I have this quirk in my head where I feel like it is selfish to improve and be good at the things I want to do (even though my motivation is completely alturistic) how do I get rid of it? It pops up every time i feel myself improving, it's like a mental wall keeping me mediocre.
I can explain further or give an example if you guys don't understand
PLEASE HELP this is stunting my progress majorly and stopping me from becoming the best version of myself
oh then yeah just try soylent for a month. if you pay a lot for college anyway, it's not worth the time costs to learn how to cook and then cook.
chinese cooking needs like a wok and a knife, if you want to go minimalist.
Holy shit are you me? Swear to god every hobby i touch i find myself much more talented at than anybody I know, yet once I reach above-decent level I just say fuck it, it's good enough. I never did that extra step at anything, leaving me good at everything but excelent at nothing.
i can and do cook. i just don't appreciate food and eating that much.
cooking, cleaning, shopping, and planning (stressing out over) meals takes up a lot of my time.
that is - i enjoy going out with friends to restaurants or sometimes ordering chinese or pizza at home with friends. but i don't need every meal to be good. you feel me? i don't need every meal to be as good and tasty as it could be.
anyway, soylent has a six month wait list so i need to buy something off-brand. most of the alternatives are european and i don't want to fuck with shipping from yurop. i need to lurk r/soylent more.
Bro, there is a disclaimer for that.
Current OP, I'm in Ireland (not from Ireland).
I'm still learning, but sure, sounds arite.
I added two really good meditation for dummies.
Give it a try, helps.
i found the ios app the other day but i didn't really get the point
what do the skills do?
what about it will hold me accountable any more than setting reminders on my phone and writing down lists on paper?
I don't think you understand, I'm not really naturally talented at much aside from being reasonably smart. I'm a hard worker though, and every time I reach a certain level where i realise I'm beginning to get good at it I start to feel selfish, like me being good will make other people feel bad, even though with the activities I'm becoming good at would allow me to do a net higher amount of good than any little amount of pain i would cause other people by being better than them.
For example (this is hypothetical)
Say I was interested in politics, and really good at it. Say I knew that I would do the most good in the candidacy i was running in. I would feel bad about succeeding and getting the position, I would feel selfish even though me being in the position is the best thing for everyone that the position effects.
(this is hypothetical by the way, I'm not interested in politics)
How do i get rid of this shit. It is robbing me of my livelihood. It makes me feel selfish even when doing basic stuff like going to the gym or scoring well on a test
Aside from this, I feel really alpha though. I've worked really hard and improved my self tremendously over the past year and so, I basically have transformed from "beta" to "alpha" (although i don't necessarily agree with the whole "beta" "alpha" paradigm)
Sometimes I think of it as my past beta mentality trying to get a foothold and return again. How do i destroy it completely?
get a job, preferably something that puts you in a social setting. How are you around family? If you're a fun and happy guy around people you trust working at starbucks or some equally bullshit but social job will help; with friends it's hard because after 5 minutes of acting awkward people just dismiss you and tell you to fuck off, but with a job they don't have that option as weird as it sounds. If forces you into a situation where you'll eventually open up to these people and have them as friends. Once that happens it's a lot easier to be less of an autistic retard in social surroundings and making friends will be much easier.
Another important skill is learning how to defend yourself like a man. To use a weapon like a man. I recommend a Katana. This superior weapon is made of high grade folded steel and can cut through almost anything.
>on a subconcious level
you have no self worth. You think you are a pathetic human being that and that you don't deserve the success whereas other people do because they are better.
You see your success as an illusion.
I'm thinking maybe I should just start doing "selfish things" i.e things i want to do and just try to enjoy them as much as i can.
Another thing that's helped me is reading philosophy - a particular anecdote i tell myself often is
"you can't love others if you don't love yourself"
sounds to me like you stop yourself after some success so you cant see yourself fail. you tell yoursel "i could be great at this but i feel bad about succeeding" when really you do things in half because it inflates your ego and you stop before you can fail or you meet someone better which woud hurt your ego.
also this isnt meant to be insulting, its all in your subconscious and from your development in your youth.
this is just my take, it could be wrong, get therapy if you are that bothered.
i listened to an audiobook of how to win friends and influence people. i finished maybe a week ago.
i wasn't impressed or surprised with most of it.
it all sounded helpful for dealing in businessy settings - with people you will never talk to again.
but as a student day-to-day i don't think anything covered in the book can really help me, say, meet girls or people at parties or anything relevant to me.
honestly most of the lessons were very straight forward.
>don't insult people
>ask people about their lives because people are self-centered
>think about how what you're talking about will affect the person you're talking to
but maybe i just need to go back and re-listen or actually read it.
just my two cents.
Did an 1.5km ocean swim on the weekend,heard about it on the radio, an hour later I signed up on the deadline and an hour after that I was in the water.
Never swam that distance before and I was doing it in the ocean. I did half of it freestyle and the other half breaststroke, came in at 30mins. Just did it for the experience and to get out of my comfort zone
>The power of Now - eckart Tolle
Only thing I would suggest when it comes to improvement.
Do not read this book. Read his other book.
Practicing the Power of Now. - Eckart Tolle
The other book leaves too much for interpretation and a little to vague. Practicing the Power of now is much better.
I would also suggest two other books:
Way of the Superior Man
The 48 Laws of Power.
these two books are amazing when it comes to improvement.
can I expect to burn out with this kind of workload?
>learning a trade 8hrs/wk
>university lectures 12hrs/wk
>gym/fitness minimum 8hrs/wk
This is all Monday to Friday, weekends are free, I use them for study or to catch up with friends.
Weekends and directly after lectures. I read my lecture notes during my lunch breaks.
It's labor intensive work, 6 am starts for a 3pm finish. I have to go to the gym before work or I'm too fucked afterwards.
hi every1 im new!!!!!!! holds up T7HOHEP my name is olfie but u can call me t3h PeNgU1N oF 1MpR0VMNT!!!!!!!! lol…as u can see i progress lots!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet squatter ppl like me _… im 999 (maxed) years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch Harvard Biz Review w/ my girlfreind (tfw made it if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its SOOOO about improving!!!! shes powerful 2 of course but i want 2 meet more powerful ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol…neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!!
SOCIAL GAINZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me trying to be more than yesterday again _^ hehe…sqats and oatc!!!!!
love and social gainz,
t3h PeNgU1N oF 1MpR0VMNT
Everyone drop what you're doing and order this book:
Literally the most insightful thing I've ever read and a fairly quick read. Written by a hedge fund manager who's insanely smart
Stop focusing on sex and girl and focus on being interesting. Go out more, explore more, do more things that are difficult and cultibate a personality, the rest woul fall by its own
wtf is wrong with me?
i enjoy reading and practicing drawing, but I still end up on the internet for hours every day rather than doing these things that would improve me as a person.
i think im actually addicted to the internet. without even thinking i will just open up my laptop again and start browsing.
>without even thinking i will just open up my laptop again and start browsing.
i'll be typing up an essay for school on one monitor and when my thought stops, my eye and cursor will automatically move towards my facebook shortcut and click it
I don't see a group just it saying I can play and such but it is only me? Sorry any help would be appreciated?
What do I do /sig/?
I'm 22, finished school but still can't get the paper.
My school was so shit, I went there like 10 hours a week. I had a lot of free time so all I did was browse 4chan and watch movies. I learned many things about myself too, found that my pasion in life is movies and teaching.
Software engineer, need experience for almost all jobs. And I hate it! I'd rather work on something less boring.
I've been living the NEET life for about a year. I still need to pay my student loans but can't find the motivation to get up and find a job.
I think I'm going to start going with a psychologist this week. I feel like shit and I don't know what to do with my life.
The best advice I can give is to take every opportunity you're given, and actively seek out new opportunities. Even if you don't want to do something, like go to a house party with only a few people you know, still do it because you never know how things will end up.
I started a journal since November 2014, and my life has significantly improved since January 2015 because i've become a happy, successful person who takes risks and opportunities.
>>31184343 Yah Bro, that's just what being 22 and NEET feels like.
If you are lifting, you are doing better than I was. Get yourself a job in a supermarket or something part time to take the insanity away and some spending money to afford to buy things you need and chuck out things you don't. Use the rest of the day as your job to either apply for jobs ( get a system so it isn't soul destroying) or projects like learning a foreign language (SIG) or doing a hobby.
I'd also say get off the computer unless you have to.
Also remember your buddies - talk straight with them about how you can't afford shit and if they want to buy rounds you can't chip in so it's going to be a gift. But do hang out with them because fuck man you need to stay sane.
>mfw my suggestion of reading Quiet: The Power of Introverts has made it into the main post of SIG
You have no idea how good it makes me feel that through just this little suggestion I might affect someone else's life. Thanks brahs
This looks like a good place to ask.
Brehs, i have a problem with constant seeking of approval. Like im super conscious of how i look in the eyes of others. Not body wise but rather what i say or do and how it is perceived by others. This cripples me and makes me spill spaghetti anytime i talk to someone. How to deal with this?
Keep at it. Are you lifting?
Keep your eyes on the trophy man.
Don't address the trolls in a serious manner plox
Nice man. Swimming in the ocean is way harder than in a pool.
Also swimming is fucking awesome. I miss it so.
I'll look into this.
Depends on your age. But be careful about burning out man.
I am as well.
It a simple to-do list with Gamification perks on top. Beats Keep for sure.
I'll give it a check, sure.
Practice some focus man. Put yourself some timers, join the habitrpg and label '+1 hour of doing shit in the internet" as a bad habit.
Current op here. Moved to Ireland, they are coming to Dublin. With a new fucking record! Fuck yeah.
I'm also going to see Blood Red Shoes to Amsterdam and Paul Weller to Brussels/Bruges. And I'm on the lookout for Swans and Murder by Death. FCK yeah.
Log in first I guess. I just started yesterday and was able to join the group eventually.
It's still up bro
Bro, chill. Little by little. Baby steps at first.
Do you lift already?
Listen to this guy
I gave it a check, read some reviews, and it seemed like a good book to be included.
By realizing that others don't fucking care about your every detail. You're just too sensitive to people.
You can either work it out with therapy or something. Or just keep marching forward man. Google some of the books recommended, download it and make some progress on your own.
Make a "Work" account on your pc. Block distracting programs on this account. Install BlockSite or another addon if you use the botnet browser to block sites that are distracting.
Helps me anyway if I have to do something
I want to beat this fucking back and shoulder injury so I can go back to lifting
But without lifting I get depressed.
Hello, I've been lurking this place for a while but today I decided to post
I've been pretty much sheltered and didn't leave my house or have any friends until about a year ago. As such I don't have skill or anything practical or any good sense of direction so sometimes I feel pretty much useless and get a little bit sad.
I'm struggling very much with learning how to drive, I aced the theoretical exam but failed the one where I actually have to drive, I always get very nervous and stressed out and can't coordinate myself with the clutch and looking at mirrors or over my shoulder, I leave most classes completely drenched and sticky from sweat (and I'm no beginner, I'm nearing lesson Nº50 and people only take 31 lessons) it feels like I'm not getting better at all. How would I fix this? It's a burden on my wallet by this point
On a good note, one or two years ago I couldn't even order a McDonalds burger without shaking and stuttering, but I decided to try and take every opportunity and got myself a way to attend a uni class in secret trough a friend through barely being social, which kinda surprised me
Speaking of which, I mostly fall quiet on convos, it's not that I want to say something and am afraid, it's that I really have no idea what to add to the convo, and when I do, it usually falls ignored and I really don't want to repeat myself, I'm sure it's happened to someone from here, anything I can do about that?
Oh and I joined a gym to look healthier and possibly prettier, I've been eating a lot more and people have been noticing my face is fuller, but I guess you could say I feel intimidated to go to the gym alone for the first time, I know it's all in my head but I am so afraid, what to do?
This feels a little blog-y but I'm still posting it, hope I can get some help
Do you live in the UK or somewhere else?
I dont know the rules in the US etc. but in the UK you can get a family member/friend to help you practice in their car, go to like a deserted location/car park and practice clutch control and the mirror, when it becomes natural it will beeasier to do when youre under pressure too.
I dont think its your ability thats the problem its you being all nervous and it clouding your ability.
unfortunately, it's against the law where I'm at unless it's private property, I've gotten away with a warning for doing this, they even said I could've gone to jail, which probably didn't help me lose the fear at all
I've been running the morning before lessons and it's been helping generally, the problem really starts when there are a lot of people and cars in the streets
>I'm struggling very much with learning how to drive,
I took about 50 courses for my drivers license and failed twice.
>On a good note, one or two years ago I couldn't even order a McDonalds burger without shaking and stuttering, but I decided to try and take every opportunity and got myself a way to attend a uni class in secret trough a friend through barely being social, which kinda surprised me
Thats the right idea. Keep it up.
>Speaking of which, I mostly fall quiet on convos, it's not that I want to say something and am afraid, it's that I really have no idea what to add to the convo, and when I do, it usually falls ignored and I really don't want to repeat myself, I'm sure it's happened to someone from here, anything I can do about that?
Everybody has shitty ideas in conversations and gets ignored. I have the feeling you are over analysing yourself.
>Oh and I joined a gym to look healthier and possibly prettier, I've been eating a lot more and people have been noticing my face is fuller, but I guess you could say I feel intimidated to go to the gym alone for the first time, I know it's all in my head but I am so afraid, what to do?
Ok this is the part where I can stop being the unqualified psychologist. The gym is a place where you take heavy things and put them down. It is a space where you improve yourselve. You really should not be worried about other people, because they do not matter in the gym, they are background characters. You are there to do your sets and feel good afterwards and so are they. Are you afraid of their judgement, that you are not strong enough? Not cool enough to walk around there? You are wrong. They don't care, they are busy with their workout. Even if they did, they forget about it the instance a hot girl walks by or a new song gets on.
The results of lifting are worth it.
Are you me?
>be 15, 20 now
>injure something in my shoulder/back, no idea what I did.
>muscles atrophy and become weak. movements and function aren't the same
>Chronic soreness and reinjury every time I go back to working out.
>Get tests and physical therapy, it helps but never fully recover.
>Still no official diagnosis
>Read like crazy about separated shoulder, rotator cuff, muscle imbalances, subluxation, winging scapula, etc. and do corresponding exercises
>go back to doctor and with accumulated knowledge
>describe exactly what is going on and show exactly what movements are dysfunctional.
>officially diagnosed with long thoracic nerve injury
>nerve damage may be permanent with surgery as the only option. For now trying PT again.
There is absolutely no face to illustrate how disappointed and depressed I've been because of this shit. I've lost 5 god damn years of potential gains, and never reached my peak form in track and field due to my aching back and shoulder. I hate feeling weak and out of shape. I don't know how people with permanent injuries that stop them from being active go on. The only thing that has kept me going so far is the hope that I will come back from this injury.
Hey guys, I need some advice from you.
I recently turned 18 and after being chubby/ fat for most of my life, often being made fun because of that I decided to rapidly cut down when I was 17. I spent about a year in this state without really wanting to lift until now. I still feel like I'm a skinnyfat bastard and I have to cut alot more despite everyone telling me that I'm thin enough to bulk. I am 1.82m tall and weight 67 kg. I don't know if it's legit body dysmorphia or other skinnyfat people trying to keep me in their state.
Just to contribute a bit:
By Marcus Aurelius
The book of five rings
By Miyamoto Musashi
By Tsunetomo Yamamoto
Those are some books I found to be helpful with self improvement.
You can pass the test brah. I didn't get my license until I was 26. It cost me out of the ass man. $100/hr because I was too embarassed to ask my friend to help me. It will have an impact on your life but honestly brah I don't go that many places. I thought my live would become so amazing after I got a car but I realized I hate how crowded and annoying places are on Friday. Parking and driving is a fucking bitch sometimes.
You can do it though brah.
Almost finished reading Zlatan Ibrahimovic's autobiography. This thing should be in /SIG/ sticky, seriously. Disregarding his football career, Zlatan's attitude is what /sig/ is all about. Technically, he shouldn't be in the same bracket as the best footballers in the world - but because HE thinks he's the best, everyone else does too.
He isn't - you're right. He's still going to get a massive contract when his PSG contract runs out though, provided he's still playing, not just because of who he his but because of who HE thinks he is. The man is assertiveness incarnate
In all honestly I feel that most people's problems in this thread won't be solved by reading self-help books. Damaged people with emotional and psychological problems don't get better by reading books. I've read every popular self-help and pseudo science of mind crap there is. After my first session of CBT it was clear to me how fucked in the head I was with my thinking. She had me write down negative stuff I thought about myself, and when another human saw it and read it, I realized how unhealthy it was to think shit like that. I had such deeply negative views about myself and the world that therapy was the best money I ever spent. Years have passed and people tell me that I am such a happy person and people gravitate towards me. Haven't touched anything self-help since and don't need to.
tl;dr self help is written to make money. go see a professional about your problems, very rarely do people on this board know what they are talking about.
>Walking up fucklate
>Fapping to weird ass porn
>Eating like shit
>Wasting time on the internet
>No hobbies aside from vidya, and anime
Currently making it my habit to get up at 6 on the weekdays and Sunday, and 7 on Saturday.
I'm trying to work on one vice at a time since the numerous times I tried to turn my life around it just led to me crashing and burning.
i had the same problems. i found one common denominator to all of them. the internet. i stayed up all night, watched porn non stop, played video games for 15 hours a day, never left the house, bought shit online with my credit cards. got my internet shut off because i couldn't pay the bill. forced me to go out and get a job. couldn't stay up all night because i was tired from work + no internet. no porn + no video games since had no internet. im at work right now and just wasting time until i get off. when i get home i rarely use internet. i check it once before bed for email and thats really it. the internet is a sinkhole for bad habits.
Yeah, it's fucking amazing that we have all this information at our fingertips yet we use it for the worst reasons haha. Lately I've been trying to turn the tide for that, I've been using soundcloud to find good music instead of listening to the same playlists, and browsing sites that benefit me in some way.
I think this is basically PUA. You should talk to women however the fuck you want to talk to them, and if it doesn't work out between a guy and a girl, then fuck it.
It's not a bad watch, it's something to reflect on your habits, but acting like your mother died when she mentions her dog dying just because she wants you to display your emotions is in fact acting, and it is what PUA do. And him calling it "overcompensating your natural tendency to tighten up" is just an euphemism for faking it.