>omg anon, you got so much bigger since we broke up
>tfw broke up with my gf
>started lifting to cope
>so did she apparently
>tfw she's made more progress than I have
fuck you op
fuck, i'm never going to make it
Went to the mall with qt3.14 gf
Saw two guys from highschool who apparently came out of the closet
One says "damn you've lose weight"
Walk around for a little longer and see the other one, he says "fuck dude do you ever leave the gym"
Gay guys mirin counts.. R-right
>tfw one of your main motivations is to see oneitis you've been ignoring for 2 years mirin' someday
It's not like she hates me so hopes are high
It has nothing to do with the girl
It has nothing to do with those guys
It has everything to do with YOU
Seriously. This insecurity of yours is not just about girls. It probably runs a lot deeper than that. Probably a deep rooted shame and a sense of not being good enough in the general sense.
I suggest doing work on your deepest self. Whether that be through therapy, maximizing your potential through hobbies you truly enjoy, making more male friends, etc. etc.
Just a thought. I could write out an essay for you but fuck it it's 4chan.
> recently got a gf
> third time fucking
> tied her hands up for mild bondage
> got her on top after
> went balls deep
> pissed all over me and started shaking uncontrollably
> she was embarrassed and confused afterwards
> just told me she googled what happened
I guess I just remember that if she end up cheating on me, she's the one to blame. She made the choice, and you have every right to be mad at her and kick her ass to the curb. Her cheating doesn't somehow make her the victim.
It is pretty much a largely accepted truth within the many spiritual/religious communities that if something in this world disturbs you, it means that something is wrong with you internally
Let's go deeper. It has everything to do with your ego. Now the ego is this "entity" that lives within your mind. Or more realistically, it is your mind. And your mind (ego) plays all sorts of tricks on you and develops these warped views of the world that are not really happening.
So what did you do in response to this negative ego? Well, you probably tried to turn it into a positive ego. You read lots of motivational pictures on /fit/, started lifting, got a nice body, started making some friends and you thought "I've made it". Well, you did. But it was exactly what I just stated previously: A thought.
You see, many of you had a warped view of the world and probably thought everything and everyone in it was against you. So what you did was try to rise above. You tried to mold the world around you to fit and ideal IN YOUR MIND.
But what you probably lacked was acceptance of the world. You lacked acceptance of life on life's terms. And you lacked acceptance of yourself.
I need to gather my thoughts a little more on this. Will post ore in a minute.
Wow, i am really feeling this.
Even though I already have a main girlfriend, I have 3 other girls I regularly fuck and I still want new girls on the week to feel validated and to feel secure about myself.
To feel adequate in the world. But to my surprise even when having these girls fall all over me, its still not enough, clearly its me and its hard to accept it.
Thanks anon for helping me realize this and something I need to work on.
>If you are unhappy, something is wrong with you. Don't try to change things for the better.
Never accept an ideology that takes away your agency to make a difference. Growing and accepting yourself and your place in the world is part of becoming wise, but is not the only part.
Yes, I will continue for you bros. And funny that one of you mentioned that. I am in Alcoholics Anonymous. 2 years clean as of last Wednesday.
So what we were talking about originally was the man who was upset and getting full of fear when his new girlfriend was talking to other guys.
Now here is what is happening based off what I have learned through my life, through Alcoholics Anonymous, through my Buddhist practitioners group:
This woman that is now your girlfriend. What is your fear? You are fearing something. Well that fear is of losing her. But is it HER that your are afraid of losing? NO. You don't fear losing this girl? What you fear is losing some THING. This THING that your ego has clung onto and proclaimed, "MINE. This is MINE now."
Your ego (mind) has acquired this new substance and decided that it wants it. It NEEDS it. Your ego has attached itself to this image of you being in possession of this thing (woman) and the ego would be CRUSHED if it lost this thing.
To be continued...
> ejaculate several times within a few days
> as a result, take ages to blow your load
> get your girl on top
> tell her to move up and down your penis
> she enjoys it
Nothing to learn mate, just keep going at it and see how they react. She thinks i'm some magic-hands magician because i've watched porn for a decade and know what a clitoris is.
>break up with gf
>started lifting to cope
>so did she
>she did crossfit, had a knee injury and is 'eagerly awaiting recovery'
>I'm going on strong with way better progress and no injuries whatsoever
So here lies the problem. Your mind. Your ego.
What lies beneath it is your TRUE self. The untainted. The self that is in complete acceptance of the world, of the universe, and what it brings to life.
Instead of giving YOUR DEEPEST GIFT OF LOVE to this woman, you are probably just using her for things such as attention, validation, sex, comfort; things that you were never able to give yourself but you have always been in opposition to the world around you.
To this woman. You owe her your deepest gift. Your deepest love. Your focus on the relationship should be about her, about WHAT CAN YOU GIVE TO HER
Your fear of losing this woman to another man is actually a selfish thought. You can no longer cling to her and other things in the world. The world will give and take from you what it wants.
I think that the real definition of "making it" would be being in complete acceptance of the world around you, giving your deepest love in every action you perform, and being content with the self at the deepest level, and being one with the universe
Opinion disregarded breh.
Do you seriously think the difference between you ( lift, eat healthy) and a basement neckvbeard that pisses in bottles.. its just a thought? Good god you soft minded, if charly manson speak to you in his golden years.. you would be killing people just because that retarded twll you to do so
Sry poor english
May be a disorder with the muscles in your pupil. It COULD be dangerous, could not. Usually deals with degeneration of those muscles but if you've been to a doctor and they don't think there's anything wrong and you aren't losing vision/having trouble with it, you should be fine.
>keep having feels with her
>can't fall out of love she encourages me in my lifts
>I just want to hold her and tell her she's my swole mate
> she's a perfect complement of me
> save up for a big load
> you ejaculate early
> just use your hands or oral on her
> after 10-20 minutes you're good to fuck again
> you last longer and she orgasms twice
> naturally wank too frequently
> you still foreplay
> you last half an hour
> she orgasms twice anyway and you still fuck her
Literally don't over-think it and just fuck her whenever the moment comes and don't plan sex. Women are easy and have fun regardless of how long you last. If you finish too early or too late, there's always something you can do to please her regardless.
>Do you seriously think the difference between you ( lift, eat healthy) and a basement neckvbeard that pisses in bottles.. its just a thought?
No but I think thats a gross oversimplification of his ideas whether or not they are faulty. Also I don't believe lifting alone makes you superior to the average person. No matter what ass backwards "muh will power" justification you wana spew. Hell look at all the feel and no gf and depressing threads DAILY.
>you're ok with reading someone else's ideas on a hatian voodoo tutorial board
>thats the equivalent of following a cult leader
ye i've been to a guy for contacts.. the only thing he mentioned was that they were dilated the entire time i was with him.. he put in the contacts himself and microscoped that shit.. didn't see anything, or at least he didn't mention anything
>Fucking some chubby out of shape Tinder slut for about a month
>She's always talking about the gym but I never bring it up because I feel bad talking about it
>Round her house one day and say I have to leave to go to the gym
>mfw she asks "oh do you go to the gym?"
>You look photoshopped
Isn't always a compliment.
>be walking after class
>overhear two girls talking
>one 4/10 and one 5/10 max
>4/10 is talking about how she had to deny some betalord a kiss after their "date"
>she made up an excuse to do her "laundry" so they couldnt hang out in her dorm
>hear them laughing about it
>rage level near 6.02 x 10^23 suns
EVEN FATTY 4/10'S HAVE BETALORD SWOONING THEM
WE ARE NEVER GOING TO MAKE IT
SHE WAS LIKE 5'3" AND 140 lbs fatty.
WE ARE NEVER GOING TO MAKE IT
you should get a trip
how about "anti-feel buddhabrah"
seriously though, i like the little i know of buddhism, except for the preaching of no ambition because of "muh inner peace".
i mean, too much/frustrated ambition can be pretty toxic, but many people "made it" and found happiness and peace out of ambition
can't i be a buddhist and still want to be rich, handsome, strong and succesful in general?
Depends on the girl. You have to learn how they like to be touched. That's part of the fun of getting to know each other.
But I will say almost universally all girls like to be teased, that is, brought close to orgasm and staying there as long as possible. Girls are like diesel engines, they have to be warmed up. Where most guys fall flat is focusing on the objective and not the journey. Girls have sensitive spots all over their body and you shouldn't focus on one part. Let your hands wander all over her skin like you're running your fingers through silk.
Another thing most girls like is being blindfolded, held down, restrained, demonstrations of strength, as if this stronger more dominant being was just overcome with lust and couldn't control itself when it saw her, makes her feel sexy and desired. This is why rape fantasies are common. They don't literally want to be raped, it's more about submission and letting go of control.
>tfw 6 year dry spell
>as if this stronger more dominant being was just overcome with lust and couldn't control itself when it saw her, makes her feel sexy and desired
Damn. I've known this for a while, but you've just articulated better than I ever have. Well done.
I fucking hate how entitled girls are man.
I got in a huge argument with some girl because she told me that she used to pick guys up on nights out let them give her massages and then refuse to fuck them.
If you want to...
I personally have never used a guided meditation. My meditation always involves focusing on my breath and then other times focusing intently on a particular concept
I think guided meditations are really only useful for people who don't already know how to meditate
“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.”
I might actually use that trip, lol
You can still be ambitious and live a spiritual life
You're welcome. If you want to know more, I started with Eckhart Tolle's "The Power of Now"
Do you think that love simply implies the Hallmark idea of love with chocolates, card, flowers and all of that impermanent crap?
You become at peace with yourself, you start enjoying life more with a smile on your face due to your newfound peace, you go to where the redhead qt3.14s are, you wear that smile and they come to you
You're welcome. My word is not the be all end all. I still have more to learn as I am very young (22). Try to find these truths for yourself by reading, meditating, seeking spiritual guidance, and improving the self however possible
Looks like life handed you something you weren't ready for and now you have to ACCEPT it ;)
Lel. Yeah, my friends call me a granola
DUDE YES. I LOVE MARCUS AURELIUS
"The Emporer's Handbook" is one of the most influential books I have ever laid eyes on and I carry it with me most of the time in my backpack
>shes mega into the gym
>dat bf doe
to steal, or not to steal?
>tfw these are just useless platitudes because youll never be able to apply them
Was going to post about tfw ex gf will never be in my reality again to witness my gains, but you got me reading Watts, Wilson, and Campbell quotes.
>“Belief is the death of intelligence. As soon as one believes a doctrine of any sort, or assumes certitude, one stops thinking about that aspect of existence.”
This so much.
I used to be bothered by that shit back when I had bad premature ejaculation, but now that I no longer have that issue and am able to give my girlfriend orgasms I think it's funny when guys try to hit on her.
>have sex with new girl a few times
>at her place
>Notice an open box of trojan condoms
>not just regular trojans, but magnums
This chick I've been seeing has been single for the last two years. Seems to have a high sex drive, and is very attractive and friendly. I don't want to resent her for having a good sex life, but god damn that bugged the shit out of me. I just wish I didn't see it brehs, I really like her.
How long till she breaks my heart, /fit/?
Robert Anton Wilson on point as always.
"The totally convinced and the totally stupid have too much in common for the resemblance to be accidental." -RAW.
I know how it feels anon, same thing happened to me, I was seeing a girl and she was seeing another guy. Its my fault though I should of pushed for more than just sex.
>tfw had a qt readhead gf and lost her due to my insecurity
>now fucking random girls from tinder but still feel empty inside
>still think about her every day
seems like i have a lot of reading to do. thanks, fellow gingerbro, maybe we can doubleteam a hottie some day ;)
i do not agree, but for what you typed i think there is a chance you might find truth. heavily on the "might" tho, because you might also find lie. a true lie , that you keep as truth because you came to the conclusion that it was the "truth".
i want to point out that this what you wrote isn't the truth or part of the truth, nor is it a lie or part of the lie, but just an opinion. it might work for one, but not the other.
I don't think she's seeing anyone on the side. She seems really into me and we've been hanging out a lot since meeting. I mean, a sexy woman single in university for 2 years of going to get some action. Obviously. I just really didn't want to see a glimpse of her sexual activity/history.
I fall in love only once in my life, she married another man and broke up with me on the phone. I knew that girl for six years. I don't feel anything now, I just want to fuck. I don't really need or want relationships, I'm pretty ok on my own.
You're pushing your observations and claims onto everyone else. You need to understand that people develop differently. Different problems and different insecurities, as well as life challenges.
Also, you reflect a need to show people your success with self-confidence, I congratulate you on this, however do not respect your assumption that we all have the same problem.
I got with my oneitis. I'm still Uber into her, but she doesn't realize how much control over me she has. Just whatever you do please establish your own identity and self worth outside of her. I wish I would've done a better job of it.
Since we're getting philosophical, here's this video. It reminds me every time I watch it that I'm capable of more than I believe and that I shouldn't fear rejection and failure
>tfw oneitis officially told me she only just wants to be friends a few weeks ago
>absolutely crushed me
>I too would die inside every time she talked to other guys
>she also fucked a few other guys and it made me feel worthless
>i got way too emotionally invested in her and my insecurities were beginning to become foregrounded and visible to her
>tfw oneitis is redhead
>see these posts carrying redheads attached to them
Is this a sign? Will I be able to make it? Will I be able to get over her? Will I ever be able to iron out my inner insecurities and feel good and confident about myself again?
its ok bro
i just broke up with my gf a few days ago
>break up with gf
>not sure how im feeling right now
>i feel empty
>last a little over a year
>i cant deal with it
>didnt go to class today
hold me bro
>mfw this loser that couldn't even discipline himself from not going full-blown Alcoholic every time he saw a drink is talking out of his ass and /fit/ betas are eating it up like pudding
>tfw she broke up with me 2 weeks ago
>tfw fucked 2 grills since
>tfw still can't forget her
its ok brah you are gonna make it. zyzz said so.
you have two options, grow up and let her go and burn the bridge or keep her as a friend.
Same thing happened to me with this girl, I told her
I can't be friends with her. I don't know if it was the right idea but I have definitely learned a lot from that experience.
i tried to do all the things i like but i just dont get the same feel from them
i wonder if its like quitting smoking
where im suffering for 3 weeks then i totally forget it ever even happened
i have class in 3 hours and i cant sleep
i miss her touch
the great times we spent together
>i miss her touch
>the great times we spent together
stop making me feel, anon, it hurts
>Seriously. This insecurity of yours is not just about girls. It probably runs a lot deeper than that. Probably a deep rooted shame and a sense of not being good enough in the general sense.
I have been preaching this for years and no one listened to me lol gj for aiding in the fight.
Sometimes I imagine grills like this one lying next to me in bed and I tell them all the autism
I tickle their baginers and sometimes their bellies and they would giggle at me
>break up with gf
>we always eat pizza together, like 1 pizza takeaway per week it was disgusting
>pizza cravings gone, coca cola cravings gone
>all I want to eat is chicken and tuna, genuinely
>for the first time search "eat" to get onto uni e-learning site
>justeat.com not popping up
not much, but it feels nice
>went to party to people I haven't saw 6 months made 7kg muscle gain in the last 6 months
>have my jacket on all the time
>oh it's hot in here I take of my jacket
>whole room is silence
>"duuuuuuuuude you look like a machine"
>end up in the bed cuddling with a girl she was touching my muscle all the time and kept calling me machine
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYPoMjR6-Ao listen to this m8 and feel with me
watching this video
reminds me of when i went to some shitty concert with her
it had the weirdest shit ever
3 guys playing drums or something
and some girl playing a xylophone
some artsy music shit
but i was happy just being there with her
>Is this a sign?
If you want it to be, that's the good shit about motivation
>Will I be able to make it?
If you keep at it
>Will I be able to get over her?
So long as you're asking yourself this question you're not over her.
>Will I ever be able to iron out my inner insecurities and feel good and confident about myself again?
Not before you learn to live and deal with it, when you learn to live and deal with it the insecurities start to fade but acceptance of them comes first.
go to class
if you're at home and doing nothing all you'll think of is her
if you go to class you'll have a distraction.
You don't want to go to class because memories are all you have from her now but that shit aint healthy
Brah, you are me 3 months ago. Just let it go already.
>tfw virgin GF that lifted, cooked, baked, drove me around and everything
>i'm her first, feel special and shit
>be together for 1.5 years but we grow apart
>i end it but instantly regret it trying to get her back
>she is writing with somone else the same day, fuck the guy 1 week later and enter an relationship in less than 3 months of time
>they are both rebounds getting together (know the guy)
>but i actually genuinely want them to be happy together
>tfw i want him not to fuck up like me and bring back the old sweet her i once loved
She was the definition of "perfect" girl in my opinion. But one day i realized... i didn't have any feelings left for her. It was my ego that wanted her back. My ego still sometimes reminds me how i fucked up, but then i just calm down and really think about how the relationship was the last 2 months.
>TLDR; Dont regret ANYTHING. Keep moving on brah.
holy fuck brah just went through the same thing, but she's not redhead.
hadn't spoken to her in two years and I just went in too deep emotionally so soon
well I went in deep physically too but still
because i miss her so fucking much
it's fucking awful but fascinating at the same time: when i see her in uni/ somewhere randomly i get the biggest adrenaline rush imaginable, i get tunnel vision and my heart starts to race. i even experienced physical pain when she sat close to me and i could smell her parfume, lol
think i need to chill more.
unless it's like 1-2 yrs down the road, it comes off as you wanting to be with her the whole time, which comes off as being untrustworthy as fuck
and i bet you are, you fucking faggot. do it because your friend doesnt deserve faggots like you
>To this woman. You owe her your deepest gift. Your deepest love. Your focus on the relationship should be about her, about WHAT CAN YOU GIVE TO HER
fuck off you pussy pedestal faggot.
>have oneitis for one girl real bad
>been this way for over a year
>I've asked her out before but she casually changes the subject and won't really answer yes or no
>been fucking semi decent girls for months but they all eventually annoy me, and the only passion I feel is fucking them and having them feel me up
>I purposely go to events that my oneitis has rsvpd on facebook, just so I have an excuse to see her without seeming needy
>we went to a trivia night together for a work thing(I invited her)
>Afterwards she was talking to my friend from work and it made me jealous, but I didn't say or do anything
>eventually I get semi drunk and just talking to random people
>she asks me to take her home
>o-ok, we may have to wait an hour before I can drive though
>'can we go get something nice to eat then?'
>walk with her pretty awkward
>she asks me if I liked any of the girls from work
>feels like friendzone
>she says they all seem like sports bimbos. (yup, they are)
>find a nice place
>we talk a little, not much, pretty awkward
>Decide to muster up the courage, and who cares if I get turned down, I'm going for it
>'So, is this like a date?'
>'kind of, I suppose. Do you think it's a date?'
>fuck women are weird with this shit
>'Yeah, feels like a date'
>she smiles. Feels good
>talk a little more
>time to go home
>she asks to see my unit(I'd just moved)
>she says 'how many girls have you brought back here?' While laughing
>'you're the first' a lie
>she lays down on my bed
>she looks at me with a smile and says 'I'm going to stay the night', and then before I could say anything she laughs and says 'I'm not that easy Pete!'
>she stands up and says she had a nice night and I should take her home
>she talks a little bit about my gym stuff, not much. She's pretty smart and doesn't like the whole gym scene
>drop her off at home
>she pecks me on the cheek
>Next day I text her once, just asking how her day was
>this was a week ago
God, this is awful.
Only had one gf for 3 years, broke up a year ago, and I don't even want to see a woman for anything more elaborate than sex. Too much comitment for to little reward.
You must have been prwtty awkward for her to 180 like that. Not cool of her though. Don't waste your time with that shit. She'll never be faithful to anyone until her looks fade.
pls dont curse your children with freckles
does anyone else here still dream about having sex with their Ex?
its been maybe 7 years since we broke up. I really dont even find her atractive anymore
but I keep dreaming I'm forced to hang out with her family, etc, and I just end up having sex with her. It's really casual...and intense...and fuck it...damn
I'm not an awkward guy, that's the thing. It's just this one fucking girl does my head in, I'm like in love with her or something, I think about her all the time, even after I fuck other girls I think about her and it's like I feel bad or something, because I know she doesn't like that kind of thing(sleeping around), it's like i've been mentally attached to her for months and months. I met her like 2 years ago because we have friends in common, and I fucked her like 6 months after that, and the next day she like freaked out and said all this shit about hating herself for doing it and how she'd only had sex with 1 other dude.
I feel like she secretly loves me, but won't say anything or something, or she is just purposely fucking with me because she knows I'm in love with her, or this is like some huge test she has been pulling on me, and she will only date me when I pass the test.
Pic related, girl on the left, my 9/10 oneitis, inb4 slut, inb4 ugly.
do you think I hould contact her?
not about sex. but we ended up really bad. huge fight. over the years we've talked maybe 2-4 times. very brief. things were cordial . but I still feel like apologizing.. or telling her I dont hate her?
maybe it's an awful idea. I guess part of me doesn't want to go to my grave knowing someone out there thinks I hate them
She's got issues and what I said still stands. Prettu girls do not value commitment like someone who has to work for affection. She's not good for a relationship. You're not even together and she's driving you crazy.
It's not healthy, this "oneitis" shit. Drop it.
I don't want to text her again out of fear of looking needy/desperate.
Is this a test? Is she wanting to see if I love her or something?
Why won't she respond?
Why is she doing this to me?
nigga no girl is worth fucking ur self ovr. a pussy is a pussy unless a girl is stretched out to shit. that girl in your pic doesnt even have a slammin' enough body to warrant any futher lust.
then you have to deal with her personality, which you admit, is fucking skeevy and a bit evil. do you really want that negative energy in your life.
hell even if this girl was an amazing person and a great friend to you, you've already fucked it all up by pusssy-toeing around for so long.
YA BLEW IT
>probably skyping someone they find attractive
Since we are feeling here, there is something I wanted to share with you guys.
>there is this girls I feelposted on fit earlier
>couldn't tell if she liked me or not
>5 weeks and only 6 dates
>almost no phisical contact
>just soft kiss when saying goodbye a couple of times
>started to get feels, wanted her badly
>she doesn't seem to be into my as much as I'm into her
>one night it changes, comes at my place all kissy and cuddly
>next night we fuck, she stays till morning
>spend another night together
>tfw now officialy dating
>start to get the feel that I rushed into this
>think I don't like her THAT much
>start to find faults with her
>what the fuck is wrong with me?
It's because you lied to her and she knows it. Girls talk and word travels fast, she probably likes you but you have a reputation. She doesn't want to be one of those girls that you bang and leave.
I was gonna tell you to get the fuck over it, but then I realized I'm not over my oneitis who is also a redhead.
Hear this, my brothers, some anon recommended it weeks ago and I can't thank him enough. Good stuff.
I got this oretty often, maybe there's something inside you that doesn't want you to be happy, or maybe you care too much about her without even knowing, and you don't want to let her down, because you know you're a pice of shit, and the only way to not let her down is to not get closer to her. Is she your first girl?
Sounds like you're too thick to realize that any response that a woman gives that isn't a yes is a no. The only reason she was even leading you on that night was because she liked the attention, not because she liked you.
You're not really even human to this girl. You're more like a cute puppy dog. That's all you'll ever be, so it's better to just stop being around her.
Not my first girl, I'm 26 and had long term relationships, but I've been single for the last 2 years with very few occasional sex. I've been actively looking for a girl the last year, I've tried dating 9 grills from dating sites or facebook, but things never got past 3-4 dates, I didn't feel like I could connect with any of them, she is the only one that I actualy liked. I don't think I care too much of her as I don't seem to get to emotional with women because of the past experiences.
this only works for a couple months
source: I'm good at sex, oral champion and thick dick, made her cum every time, made her do stuff she never tried before and loved it
they broke up with me after i got out of the hospital for appendicitis while doing research in the arctic
i hate her
i hate her forever
>accept the world
nah bro, that's not how you make it anywhere in life. You can't accept the world and go with the flow. That's been the mentality of plebs for all of eternity- oh I won't get anywhere in life, but it's okay, I accept that and I'm okay with that. Let me just allow someone else to take the reigns, and throw everything to the wind. That's not the mentality of a man, that's the mentality of a submissive little cuck (i.e. 90% of the world). In life there are very few true winners, and if you want to be one of them you can't sit back.
>tfw you got a gf but still have tracks of oneitis
I mean I love my gf but everytime I see this girl I get all bolognese inside and feel like the socially inept 17 year old I once was. I'm pretty sure she was interested in me as well back then but I was too much of a pussy to ever seal the deal. We go to the same uni now and I passed her a couple of days ago. I was rocking a new haircut and fresh clothes and I actually caught her mirin.
Damn it's a tease, she feels like such an unfinished project, so close yet so far away. Since I was almost obsessed with her for years, it feels like a lost part of my ego that I can never reclaim unless I get her. But that ain't gonna happen since I can actually see a future with my current gf and don't want to fuck that up. If I had only gone balls deep in that back then I wouldn't have to think about this bitch and constantly imagining spraying a load down her throat for a week after everytime I see her.
>high test problems
I feel a bit like a sociopath or something but the hell whats a man gonna do
>gf of 5 years cheated on me, then called me whilst fucking the guy and dumped whilst moaning his name
>took to heavy drinking, would be drunk almost every night
>lasted for 6 months, probably damaged my liver a fuck-ton
>the alcohol is no longer working, still see her every day at uni
>decide to hit the gym and see if that will help
>start off using the machines and a bit of cardio, no real rush to cheer me up
>holy H Christ
>start cutting out alcohol, eating healthy and exercising more
>DL improving, mood improving
>18 months since I got dumped, put on some mass
>join a new society at uni, full of my type of chicks and overweight guys
>decide to have some fun, clean the girls up
>overweight guys hate me, girls love me
>take one girl home and she spends the night
>knock on the door next morning, it's the ex
>"Hey anon, I tried ringing you but you weren't answering. I was worried about you"
>shirtless and a bit sweaty from morning fuck
>ex biting her lip, eye raping the shit out of me
>girl comes out of my bedroom to see who it is, look of jealousy all over my ex's face
>"Oh I didn't know you had company...I'll...I'll catch you later anon"
>somehow force myself to not tell her to come back
>close the door
>get on the floor
>morning warm up of press-ups
The meaning less isn't filling the void anymore and I want her back. Unless I can set a new PR on deadlifts I'm going to cave and contact her.
you are worth more. You still think you are worth less. The girls you are fucking are only meaningless because you don't pursue anything further with them.
Disregard bitches for a while and calm down. The real one you want is out there, not this slut who screwed you over.
>everytime I see this girl I get all bolognese inside and feel like the socially inept 17 year old I once was. I'm pretty sure she was interested in me as well back then but I was too much of a pussy to ever seal the deal.
>Damn it's a tease, she feels like such an unfinished project, so close yet so far away.
Thank you. You so succinctly said what I never could. Fucking THIS.
Pretty much this. My oneitis actually loved me back but was in a relationship. To cope with it I became a man-whore. When she broke up with him we were ready to be together before she found out how many girls I slept and was disgusted.
Her words were along the lines of "sex won't feel special if I know you've been inside a gazillion girls, how do I know that you're not thinking I'm just another one of those girls?"
Oneitis's are perfect for setting PRs and that's it. You see her with another guy? Gym. She's kissing someone else? Gym. She got drunk and sent a picture of herself to a friend of hers and not you? Gym.
She dumped you whilst fucking another dude?
Subhuman trash m8, don't ever take her back. Alcoholism is probably better for you than taking her back.
Best way to get over someone is grow beyond them, lift more, get fucking good at your classes, achieve in eveything until your own self respect, pride, and admiration if your peers puts you beyond her.
i wish i knew that feel. all my exes think i'm a psycho. suprisingly i'm not but whenever i run into one of them they get a look of horror in their faces and seem to contemplate running in the opposite direction.
>"You're a fat, lazy, useless & worthless, piece of shit that won't ever amount to anything anon." - while we were living together
2 years later, after seeing me on cam
>"You lost some weight!"
It's been 2 years now since she's seen me (3-4 in person...), abs are finally showing and I'm down to 10-14 bf%, can't tell exactly. She gained some weight from drinking and apparently a lot of stuff happened with her family, the reason she moved out was to go back to them since a few of them were sick ;-;
>If I get fit I'll win her back
This is max level delusion.
If she didn't leave you specifically for being a fatty/skeleton/skinnyfat it won't make any difference.
Getting fit won't magically change everything about you. You'll look better and have better habits.
If you're really lucky you'll be more confident. But so will getting a respectable job/financial security.
She squirted dumbass, congratulations you don't suck at sex
Most loyal person I've ever met irl. We also had a kid which is a whole other story. Neither of us have custody now because of some shit she managed to do and I couldn't afford $3k minimum to sort everything out + 600+miles away makes everything worse
Either way I was the main problem for the 4 years we were together.
The worst feel in my head is the fact I #rekt so many other lives while I was fucking mine up.
We were supposed to meet up last December to catch up and spend some time together, but we lost contact with each other again and now I don't know if I should just let everything go or what
Sorry I ranted
oh come on man, you don't hate each other, you both fucked up, take her by the hand and you can both make life and physical gains.
Tell her how you feel, tell her you can help make it better and if you work together you can get your kid back.
Grow a backbone and run for the future that you have almost ruined to make up for it. You're a changed man aren't you?
PROVE IT. Your kid deserves it, use the test in your veins for something other than lifting and be a man.
I don't want to get deep into the details, but we were going to talk about me moving in with her, when we were supposed to meet up in december
I'm looking at a few job offers / going back to school up here
I'd love to make everything work again, trust me :'| Thats kind of the long term goal. It's been a long 8 years now.
>we were going to
>I'm looking at a few job offers
>I'd love to make everything work again
you sound like a defeatist faggot. Has your kid been without its parents for 8 years? 8 years for a kid is a really fucking long time. Its March now. It takes two people to keep contact dumbass. If you really wanted this you would be fighting for it.
GET YOUR FIGHT BACK
GET A JOB THERE ASAP
Poor little fucker is in the care system/being fostered and will resent the hell out of you for not trying harder. You should be taking steps towards your goal every day. There is no long term goal with this. Make it happen.
One of her relatives has custody, she signed him away while she was in the hospital drugged up from a car wreck m8. Now said relative wont let either of us see him. He's 4 now
Loss of contact, I don't mean she wont check facebook
>GET A JOB THERE ASAP
Trying to get a job here that would let me transfer
I started lifting for a girl 2 years ago.
I'm still interested in this girl and can only speak to her when thoroughly drunk, whereas I used to be able to speak to her normally when I was a DYEL.
She has a boyfriend now. Decent enough guy and a friend of mine. Lifts too.
What the hell is wrong with me. I can talk to pretty much every other girl I meet without pulling a Porky Pig (th- th- th- that's all folks!) but with her I just avoid conversation. The moment I see her my body becomes like a hot coal and my brain shuts down.
Last time I saw her I was drunk as shit, I remember telling her why I was such an asshole 2 years ago and apologizing for it. I'm pretty sure she gave me a hug afterwards.
I'm pathetic and I can't escape from myself.
>>gf of 5 years cheated on me, then called me whilst fucking the guy and dumped whilst moaning his name
Fuck man, that is some absolute human trash tier .
NEVER even consider going back to her or even hate fucking her.
Going to drop the conversation, thanks for the uplifting talk though. As long as we keep moving there will be progress. I hope everything is well with you anon, take care
>Now said relative wont let either of us see him
But he's your child bro. Fuck transferring, apply for a job in the area, save up and take the fucker to court. You're just over complicating matters. How did you get in contact with the mother last time?
All you need is a decent place and proof that you are making steps to improve the situation. I'm sure she will put you up for a bit while you save seen as it will benefit both of you.
DON'T TAKE HER BACK
She cheated like an inhuman monster who didn't give a shit about you then, she only wants you now for your hot rod bod. Tell her to jump in a lake and find someone new.