Let's get a recipe thread going.
where the feck did you pull those macros from? your ass?
>using nitro instead of tren..
henk* when will they learn
Who the fuck has nitro glycerin on hand?
If you want to troll successfully make it something people can actually find that will hurt themselves. That's why the chlorine gas troll worked: people have easy access to ammonia, bleach, and pennies.
You may as well ask idiots to put enriched high-grade uranium-239 in their pillows at night. Are you even trying?
also add ground cloves, nutmeg and ginger.
if you have a preferred flavor put more of that in that the other three.
add stewed/spiced apples and pears
Get some eggs. Heat some oil in a pan and drop some eggs in there. Let them cook for while, then put cheese and hot sauce on top. Put a lid on the pan and wait a minute or two. Serve on fresh sourdough bread.
Post workout meal of the champions
just remember chicken gets bad really fucking fast
twice a week should be enough but dont store that stuff for 5+ days.
>hur dur never happened to me
good for you but the chances of it happening are not worth the gamble
>one serving of oats (your choice but make sure it's the good old fashioned or steel cut shit. All dat fiber and protein)
>one serving of flavored whey powder (ON Dub chocolate is great)
>a decent fruit/nut trail mix serving
>about 8oz of water
Step 1. Mix all dry contents
Step 2. Add the water
Step 3. Stir
Mine's like 450 cal, 57g carbs, 32g protein, 5g fiber. You should probably add a piece or two of fruit to round out the fiber, but it's otherwise a fantastic supplement to my macros.
Also: Canned tuna + 15 grain heavy fiber/protein bread + sriracha = a great 350 cal sandwich
This, it tastes like burnt cottage cheese and crunchy oats. Not even anything like a pancake.
Really any recipe where they throw in a bunch of cottage cheese or oats because of LE EPIC PROTEIN FOODS (even though they're not that remarkably high) is a red flag.
>frozen fruits are key here
gives an explanation of how frozen fruits have as much vitamines as fresh ones. Totally key...
Remember, no recipe is complete without a de-thawed ingredient.
De-thawing is key.
What's that supposed to do, give you a heart attack or something?
Nitroglycerin is that thing that like really taxes the fuck out of your heart, right?
And I'm guessing the potassium in the banana like does some chemical reaction in your body to make extra-sure that it kills you instantly?
I know that /fit/ loves to get infographic recipes, but these are just pants on head retarded. Half of the "recipes" in this thread consist of mixing two or three ingredients together and cooking at a standard temperature for a standard time. An autistic child can cook these things. Do you really need instructions to do shit as basic as boiling water?
Why don't we have REAL recipes in this thread? Stuff that requires actual skill and more than five ingredients?
Let's do some real recipes. I'm sure we can handle something outside of the infographic format.
Blackberry Sage Pork Chops
4 thin center cut pork chops
pinch of salt & pepper
1 Tbsp olive oil
½ cup blackberry jam or preserves
1 Tbsp butter
2 Tbsp balsamic vinegar
1 Tbsp water
½ tsp dried sage
⅛ tsp salt
Take the chops out of the refrigerator and let them warm on the countertop for about 10 minutes. Remove them from the package, pat dry with a paper towel, then season both sides of each chop with a pinch of salt and pepper.
Heat 1 Tbsp of olive oil in a large skillet over medium to medium-high heat. Once the oil is hot (it should appear wavy on the surface, but not be smoking), add the chops. Let the pork chops cook until browned on each side (3-5 minutes per side), then transfer them to a clean plate. Remove the skillet from the heat.
Let the skillet cool for just a couple of minutes, then add the blackberry jam, butter, balsamic vinegar, water, and sage. Return the skillet to the burner and turn the heat on to low. Whisk the ingredients together until the jam and the browned bits on the bottom of the skillet have dissolved into the sauce. Turn the heat up to medium and let the sauce come to a simmer. Let the sauce simmer over medium heat until it's thick enough to coat a spoon (5 minutes or so). Turn the heat off, taste the sauce, and add salt as needed (I added ⅛ tsp).
Return the chops and any juices that have accumulated on the plate to the sauce. Coat each side of the chops in the sauce and let them warm through in the simmering sauce. Spoon the sauce over each chop after plating.
If you're using thick cut pork chops, they will likely not be cooked through after browning in the skillet. After returning them to the sauce, let them simmer in the sauce until cooked through.
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 teaspoon cumin seed
2 medium onions, finely diced
1 teaspoon ground turmeric
1 teaspoon cayenne pepper to taste
1 teaspoon garam masala
1 clove garlic, minced
1 tablespoon minced ginger
5 peeled, seeded, and chopped tomatoes
1 pound skinless, boneless chicken breast meat - cubed
1 pound cauliflower, chopped
Heat oil in a large saucepan over medium heat. Stir in cumin seed and cook until they start to pop, 20 to 45 seconds. Stir in onion, and cook until golden brown, about 5 minutes. Season with turmeric, cayenne, garam masala, garlic, and ginger. Cook for 1 to 2 minutes until fragrant.
Puree the mixture with the tomatoes in a blender until smooth. Return the puree to the saucepan.
Add the chicken and cauliflower. Simmer gently until the chicken has cooked, about 20 minutes; add water as needed while cooking to maintain desired consistency.
2 pounds chicken thighs and drumsticks
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
1 tablespoon butter
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 onion, finely diced
1 tablespoon fresh ginger, minced
1/2 teaspoon turmeric
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
3 cloves garlic, pressed
1/4 cup dry white wine
1/4 cup chicken broth
1/2 cup gently crushed briny olives
1/4 cup chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley
3 tablespoons finely chopped fresh cilantro
Couscous, for serving
3 lemons, zested and juiced
4 black peppercorns
Pat the chicken dry, and season well with salt and pepper.
Heat the butter and olive oil in a Dutch oven over medium-high heat, and brown the chicken on all sides. Add the onion, ginger, turmeric, cinnamon, and cook until onion is translucent, about 3 minutes. Season with salt and pepper, and add the garlic and stir for a minute.
Increase heat and deglaze with wine, stirring, and allowing it to bubble.
Add the broth and bring to a boil. Lower the heat, and cover and simmer gently for 45 minutes, then remove the chicken and set aside.
Add the lemon zest, lemon juice, olives, parsley, and cilantro and then return the chicken to the pot. Heat for 5 more minutes and serve over couscous.
Carrot ginger rice
(You need to cook the brown rice beforehand to make this recipe. That should take about 45 minutes, so plan ahead)
1 tablespoons olive oil
1 1/2 cups shredded carrots, about 2-3 large carrots
1 1/2 cup cooked brown rice (about 3/4 cup uncooked)
1 tablespoon minced ginger
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 tablespoons soy sauce
1 tablespoon honey
1 tablespoon rice wine vinegar
1 tablespoon sesame seeds, toasted
In a medium skillet, heat oil over medium low heat. Add in garlic and ginger, cooking until they both become fragrant-roughly two minutes. Stir in shredded carrots and cook for 1-2 more minutes.
Whisk together soy sauce, honey, vinegar, and sesame seeds. Pour over carrot mixture and cook until heated through.
Finally, stir in rice and cook for 3-4 minutes or until rice is warm.
>1 teaspoon cumin seed
why don't you just lick a brown person
Spanish Omelette with Chorizo
(This one is for breakfast)
2 small waxy potatoes, scrubbed and cut into chunks
freshly ground black pepper
4 large eggs
60 g chorizo , cut into 1cm thick slices
1 sprig fresh rosemary
1 shallot, very finely sliced
1 tbsp lemon juice
1 tbsp fresh flat-leaf parsley
Preheat oven to 350.
Put the potatoes in a pot of boiling salted water and simmer them until cooked, then drain in a colander and leave them to steam dry. Whisk eggs in a bowl.
Heat your ovenproof frying pan. Add the sausage slices and boiled potato chunks. After a couple of minutes, when sausage is lightly golden and crisp, remove from pan and set aside.
Sprinkle the rosemary leaves into the hot fat in the pan. As soon as they hit the pan, they'll start to crisp up. Pour the beaten eggs on top immediately, adding the potatoes and chorizo and spreading everything out evenly. Place the whole pan in the preheated oven or under the grill until the omelette is golden brown on top and just cooked through in the middle.
While the omelette is cooking, mixed thinly sliced shallots with lemon juice, salt, and pepper. Then mix in the parsley leaves. Garnish the cooked omelette with the sliced shallots and parsley.
white person detected
I'm guessing adding peper to your dish makes it taste exotic to you.
I'm white as well but seriously, what is it with most whites that they don't know how to season?
I'm the guy posting all of these long text recipes. It's not just white people, so many people I meet through work or friends have no idea how to cook, have an incredibly limited palate, and are terrified at the thought of cooking with spices or food that has a strong taste. It's how they were reaised I suppose, and they continue to eat and serve others either deep fried garbage or disgustingly bland health food.
For example, boiled chicken and brown rice is incredibly bland and gross. Now if you took that same stuff and made fragrant chicken curry balti and carrot ginger brown rice, you've got a meal with mouth-watering incredible flavor that adds much more micronutrients and only a little more fat from the oil. You can eat healthy and still make it delicious, I do it all the time.
People like this guy >>31933651 need to learn how to cook good food so they don't hate eating on the /fit/ diet.
put frozen chicken in pan
put frozen vegetables in pot
put rice in rice cooker
wait for chicken, add 2/3 soy 1/3 water 1/3 mirin 1/3 sugar, add vegetables and cook until done
Almond mahi mahi with coconut basil sauce
[For the Fish]
2 pieces mahi mahi fillets
1 cup Finely crushed or sliced almonds
1/2 cup shredded coconut
1 mango, peeled, finely chopped
1 tablespoon jalapeno, finely chopped
1 tablespoon cilantro, finely chopped
splash of lime juice
200 g Chopped mango
[For the Basil Coconut Sauce]
1 medium shallot, minced
2 garlic cloves, minced
1/4 teaspoon lemon zest
1/4 teaspoon lime zest
1 teaspoon grated ginger
1/2 cup coconut milk
1/4 cup water
1 teaspoon soy sauce
1/2 teaspoon fish sauce
1/2 cup packed basil, chopped
1/4 cup cilantro, chopped
1 tablespoon Oil
Mix mango, jalapeno, cilantro, lime and a pinch of salt.
Saute the shallot in oil until just starting to brown. Add garlic, ginger and zests and cook another minute or two until fragrant. Add remaining ingredients, stirring for a minute, then blend to desired consistency. Return to pan and heat slowly until sauce thickens. Add sriracha or chili sauce if desired.
Heat some oil in a heavy bottom pan over medium heat. Press fish into almonds and coconut, flipping over and pressing again to get a good coating. Cook fish in pan flipping once about for 7-8 minutes depending on size. Be careful not to burn the nuts and reduce heat if necessary.
Plate the fish, spoon the basil sauce over, then top with chopped mango, lime, and cilantro. Serve with a side of rice if desired.
>Cooking with frozen meat and vegetables
are you his spokesperson?
in any case that's absoutely pointless for vegetables and as for frozen chicken it might even be a bad idea due to bacteria multiplication
but yeah for some meat it's better to defrost in the fridge over night
Son, you best be trolling. Put a frozen chicken breast on a hot pan. What are you going to get? Fucking disgusting. It'll be dark and browned on the outside and the inside will be frozen, soggy, and raw. Enjoy your food poisoning.
Also stop posting with a name. Do you not understand the difference between "name" and "date"?
dont tell me what to do you arent my real dad
&ur obv too dumb to cook a frozen chicken breast posting some drama retard chef just proves your typical autistic 4chan elitism
>you arent my real dad
>dont tell me what to do
>&ur obv too dumb
Please never breed.
Someone appreciates real food.
Coconut chicken satay with spicy peanut sauce
[For the chicken]
3/4 cup unsweetened coconut milk
1 tablespoon fish sauce
1 tablespoon packed light brown sugar
1 tablespoon Thai red curry paste
1 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt
2 pounds boneless, skinless chicken breasts, thighs, or a mixture of both
30 wood skewers, soaked in water
[For the peanut sauce]
3/4 cup unsweetened coconut milk
1/4 cup chunky all-natural peanut butter (no salt or sugar added)
1 tablespoon fish sauce
1 tablespoon packed light brown sugar
1 tablespoon Thai red curry paste
2 teaspoons chile-garlic paste
1 tablespoon freshly squeezed lime juice
Place the coconut milk, fish sauce, brown sugar, curry paste, and salt in a large bowl and whisk to combine; set aside.
Cut the chicken lengthwise into 1/2-inch-thick pieces and add to the marinade. Stir to coat the chicken, cover the bowl with plastic wrap, and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes or up to 24 hours.
While chicken is marinating, prepare the peanut sauce. Add coconut milk, peanut butter, fish sauce, brown sugar, curry paste, and chili-garlic paste to a small saucepan over medium heat and whisk to combine. Bring to a simmer over medium heat, stirring occasionally, until the ingredients are evenly combined, about 3 minutes total. Remove the pan from the heat, stir in the lime juice, and transfer the sauce to a small bowl to cool.
Thread each piece of chicken lengthwise onto each skewer and transfer to a baking sheet.
Place the skewers on the grill, in the oven on a broiling rack, or on a grill pan and cook until grill marks appear on the bottom, anywhere from 3 to 9 minutes (depending on method of cooking). Flip the chicken and cook until grill marks appear on the second side and the chicken is cooked through, about 3 to 4 minutes more.
Transfer the skewers to a clean serving platter and serve with the cooled peanut sauce for dipping.
High protein cheesecake
2 oz Fat Free Philadelphia Cream Cheese
10 oz Plain Greek Yogurt
2 Whole Eggs
1 to 2 Tbsp Stevia
1/4 Cup Milk
1.5 Scoops Whey Protein (I prefer vanilla)
1 tsp Vanilla Extract
Preheat oven to 325°
Soften cream cheese in a large mixing bowl by pressing down with a spoon.
Add eggs and stevia and mix using an electric mixer.
Add the rest of the ingredients and continue mixing for 2-3min.
Pour in baking pan (6x2” pan works best) lined with parchment paper for best results.
Bake at 325° for 35 minutes then turn down the oven to 200° and continue baking for an additional hour.
Let cool in fridge for 4-5 hours or overnight, then you may remove it from the parchment paper. Optional to add topping at this point. Blueberries, strawberries, chocolate, or pumpkin would all work.
I usually do that with two chicken breasts, 100-120g of greek yogurt, half an onions, corn salad and spices. Last time I made this I added some
mexican sauce, but probably sriracha would be better
Not exactly a recipe but it's what I just ate. Probably the best fast food cutting meal you can get.
Ultimate Chicken Grill
1g Brotein x2
0.5g Fat x2
>more than 5 ingredients
not all good food needs to have lots of ingredients. What I'd like to see is more variety in the recipes posted. Not everyone needs yet another protein item in their diet. Here's something I've started making and it's fucking delicious:
1 lb brussels sprouts
2 Tbsp oil
1/4 tsp salt
>mix sprouts and oil in bowl to coat sprouts
>put on foil lined baking sheet (cookie sheet)
>sprinkle salt over them
>sprinkle pepper on
>put in 400 F (205 C) oven for 70 min shaking every 20 min to evenly brown
I used an herb-infused olive oil and it left a slight hint of herbs on the sprouts. You could also include fresh herbs and other spices for no extra calories but added flavor. The finished product is a soft and flavorful sprout with just a hint of saltiness.
They also reheat in the microwave well but cover cause they can explode.
>Eating thon Porage
>with anything but the auld water and salt
Requesting any and all beef/pork/egg recipes.
Turns out I'm allergic to chicken and beans, get horrible pains like and intense indigestion. And because I'm a britbong and can eat everything else fine I got told by a GP that nobody would be interested in finding out why/helping me. Man, the NHS is shit sometimes.
Too lazy to make an infographic.
STIR FRY MOTHERFUCKERS
Chicken breast or Skirt Steak cut into strips
MARINATE THAT SHIT IN
3 tablespoons Soy Sauce
3 tablespoons Apple Juice
1 tablespoons Sugar
You'll need to adjust this based on how much meat you got you dumbass. You can thicken the marinade with cornstarch. 1 tablespoon per cup of sauce.
COOK DAT RICE
FLASH FRY DAT MEAT IN A WOK OR SKILLET, PREFERABLY USING PEANUT OIL FOR DAT TASTE
Once rice is cooked, add to a preheated skillet with sesame oil to actually FRY YO RICE NIQQA
Once rice is fried to your liking, take some eggs you already scrambled(why would you do a stirfry without egg you fucking idiot?!?!?!?!?!?!!!?!?!?) and pour that shit onto one half of the skillet. Let it cook for a bit. Then mix the rice and egg and finish cooking the egg. Don't want no raw shit, ya dig?
After all dat shit is done, add your veggies. I prefer freshly chopped green onion, steamed carrots, steamed broccoli, and some bell peppers. Cook that shit for a few minutes and then add your meat and get it all nice and hot. After that, add your sauce of choice.
PROTIP. USE THIS SHIT IN PIC RELATED. IT'S DANK AS FUCK.
when I crave something sugary, I've found that smelling a sweet smelling candle is sufficient for me. Don't even need to light it, just open the lid, get a good smell and I'm satisfied.
Eggs in a Cloud
Ingredient: 4 eggs
Preheat oven to 450 and line a sturdy cookie sheet with parchment paper or a silicone baking mat.
Separate eggs, putting the whites in a large mixing bowl and the yolks in separate little cups.
Whip the whites at high speed until stiff peaks form, about 2-3 minutes.
Divide the whites into 4 "cloud" shapes on the baking sheet. Make a little well in the center of each cloud.
Bake for 3 minutes, then slide the cookie sheet out and gently slip a yolk into each well. Cook for another 3 minutes.
Gently remove with a spatula and serve!
Not sure why but I just screen shotted all those recipes for future threads. Not put together that well but fuck it. Here you go guys.
"American cheese is processed cheese made from a blend of milk, milk fats and solids, with other fats and whey protein concentrates. At first it was made from a mixture of cheeses, more often than not Colby and Cheddar."
Simplicity in the kitchen is the best. Most michelin star chefs will avoid mixing too many ingredients because it is too complex or hard to pair. If you want to feel like you're a badass how about you go lift rather than bitch about how you cook your chicken
>low fat curd (Eurofag)
>maybe some bell pepper
>pepper/salt/paprika/cayenne/whatever spices you like
>mix until smooth
>add chopped chive or spring onion
I spread it on whole-grain bread for breakfast or lunch. Maybe top it with thin sliced turkey.
based anon is based
thank you based anon
have you thanked based anon today?
here are some joocy tits for you mang
I fucking love you man, I was about to ask if someone could do this. 10/10
I do something similar but I use kabocha.
3 tbsp sesame oil
Cut kabocha in half and remove seeds. Then cut the kobacha into slices (not too thin though).
Put kabocha in bowl with oil and peppers, then toss/coat them
Put a foil in the oven and set heat to 450F.
Then put the kabocha in the oven to bake for 30 minutes in a single layer
Remember to flip midpoint to cook evenly.
If you find that's bland, add a sprinkle of salt.