It's the story you've heard 400 times this month, I'm fat and don't want to be. I've started eating better and lost 10 pounds already. Now i want to start exercising, but there's a catch, or 3.
I want a workout routine that works with the following stipulations, I'm too ashamed to go out in public and run, I'm too poor to get a gym membership and I live in an apartment and downstairs neighbours suck so it's gotta be insanely low impact.
>Read the sticky
I did. Was helpful for diet and proper mentality, didn't have any workout routines that worked for me.
Good idea, except burpees are too high impact and i can barely do 2 pushups
eat less food to burn calories. do those two pushups and negatives to get better at them and be able to do more pushups. can't you see that you're coming up with excuses to continue being a useless piece of shit?
If you're too fat then I recommend just eating 500 calories below your TDEE. That way you'll lose around a pound a week and you have more than enough time to lose all that fat by next spring.
IE: The sticky
>I'm fat and don't want to be. I've started eating better and lost 10 pounds already.
Eat better. Eat less. That's all you need to do to lose weight.
Also, stop being such a bitch. Holy shit.
lose too fast and you'll end up looking like a deflated balloon
Do yoga. You're a carbon copy of my sisters friend. He was poor, fat, socially retarded. Looked up Yoga videos on YouTube. 1 year late he was down 100 some odd pounds, zero impact and just cost his Internet bill.
Step 1: Figure out your TDEE, eat less than ~500 calories less than maintenance every day
Step 2: Walk 30-45 minutes a day
That's what you need in the beginning if you're fat. When you get skinnier and your joints/knees get more used to walking a lot you can start running, cycling or swimming.
>Massive pussy detected.
If you can't or won't run you pathetic tub of lard then walk at a fast pace or go swim at the community pool.
>Boo hoo, it takes time out of my day.
If it was going to be easy you would have done it already. You seem to want a way to achieve your goals without any fucking effort or time commitment. It's exactly this mentality that had caused you to be a fat fuck in the first place.
>Confirmed for not going to make it