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Stories of how people thought you were a hacker.
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Stories of how people thought you were a hacker.

>be in 6th grade
>know how to download movies and burn them
>wow anon you're like a hacker huh?
>y-ye-yeah I am...
>10th grade
>Excel class
>Do the mistake of telling my classmates about shutdown /i
why would you go and do that?
Using ubuntu, people thought i was "badass hacker" since i didint used windows
>7th grade
>see the teachers pw
>login as teacher and start to randomly shutdown pcs with the monitoring program
>classmates where all like: r u a wizard
>be in computerlab playing a roguelike without tiles
>free hour is almost over
>5 people were standing behind me all the time in awe
>leave quietly
Went to hacker conference
>At lan
>7th grade
>All kids my age/nerds/just gamer nerds really
>My older brother put walls on my comp
>have it binded to f6
>nudge my buddy beside me
>"Heh, check this out"
>minimize cs
>open command prompt
>type in
>wall hacks on
>press f6
>open CS
>needless to say my team won the LAN
>be in IT-course in school
>realise that port 23 is open on ALL computers
>erryone used same username and password
>shutdown teacher PC
>wow such hacking skillz
>Middle school
>Have laptop program at school where students who participate rent a laptop to use from 6th-8th grade
>I now realize how retarded IT people must have been for our school
>They disable Command Prompt on Windows
>Make a random file in Notepad, add .bat extension
>Gain access to command prompt
>Don't remember how I figured this out, but I could type in something and get a list of users who were actively logged in on school network
>Type "<insert one of the usernames> shutdown"
>Friends and I have fun doing this every class period to teacher, students, etc.
>could shut off the monitor program our school had on the computers
>installed halo ce on every computer
>taught classmates about computer viruses and how to send them so the teachers were constantly bombarded with 'em
>published messages from our schools internal message system

all i did was follow instructions i found on forums and everyone thought I was a genius
not considered a hacker but more of a pirate

i sold a lot of pirated software to kids in middle school(photoshop, windows, fl studio, games, movies, etc) made some decent money.
also installed proxy's on the school computers and stole ram and the laser mice. Ehhh had fun lol
I don't remember the year, it was in high school
>be in computer lab
>take my laptop from the backpack
>connect the laptop through ethernet (no wifi)
>tell with a friend that I will do hackers stuff
>scan the net with nmap
>his eyes are amazed due to the stuff the console was showing
>every computer in hs was connected
>see one called like "sec-cameras"
>connect to it, didn't think if I kicked the other user
>can see the entire building with the cameras
>he looks me and say: anon, you are my hero
>he tells everyone in the class
>be remembered that year as the hacker guy
Then people came to me asking about fixing their shit and I made a lot of money
>social engineer peoples' FB email security questions in middle school
>fuck with peoples' accounts, shitpost on FB, shit's cash
>omg guys there's a FB hacker running loose
>I hack their accounts back (i.e just give them the password I changed it to)
>thank you based hacker anon
>tfw no one knew I was the original hacker
>8th grade
>C programming as "informatics class" after they taught us "what a mouse is, and what a monitor is"
>"alright kids, make use of the scanf and printf to make a password recognising prog"
>everyone uses %d to scan the input instead of using characters
>I show them how entering a character will fuck their shit
>"w-wow, that's like in the movies!"
>go to phone booth
>rip phone off
>shove exposed wire into my ethernet jack
>hack the gibson
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I downloaded tor and then showed my friends how to. also opened cmd.

also the previous year we had ubuntu.
>bittorrent ports were open
>download debian.iso at 12 MB/s
>install on my laptop
>yeah guys ima hacker
>someone give me a computer to fix it or do some maintenance or...
>other: here the admin/root password...
>me: no sorry I do not need it
>other: why?
>me: because i never need a password to become root/administrator

>me: I need only 1 minute to become root if you give me your computer
>other: you must be an hacker
>me: no it's really easy, I can teach you if you will

every time, people do not know what someone can do with a physical access to a computer
I almost got suspended from high school for telling a retard about the shutdown shutdown command. He proceeded to make everyone lose their work and blame me.

And that's how I learnt to keep my mouth shut and don't empower idiots.
>in school
>have cmd access
>shutdown all the servers
>in turn the heating goes off
>we all go home
Woah there, Nef. You may want to keep that to yourself. Stuff like that is how JP Morgan Chase got hacked.
That movie inspired a shitload of horrible AOL screen names in my HS. It was like a fucking plague.
r u me?
>11th grade
>hipster faggot opens up command prompt and enters a bunch of basic commands to show off
>dudebro sitting next to him is like "bro no way are you hacking?" and calls over a bunch of his buddies to watch
>soon a big crowd gathers around the faggot to watch
>he enters "tree"
>everyone's mind is blown
>he becomes the coolest guy in the class

fuck that guy so much
jealous peasant
Not just asking him to explain the commands he's using and what they do when he's in front of the alphas, it's how I deal with skids

>be year 11 (uk around 16 years old)
>new kid joins school
>instantly keeps trying to load cmd
>uses the same method on different pcs
>I walk over and load it for him and say you know you don't have admin, you can't do any fun commands
>he calls a few people over to show them his leetness
>types ipconfig
>quickly type tree before people notice
>we become friends
>keep my higher than his power level hidden
>start playing games
>he invites me to cod
>alphas are there
>he starts talking about how he's got my ip and is gunna boot me offline for a year unless I give him my password
>ask him for my ip
>he freezes
>get his ip
>read it out to him
>he literally starts crying in front of everyone
>boot him offline for a week
>alphas respect me for not shitting it then booting him
>get invited to loads of partys and stuff
>end up still being his friend

he ended up knocking off all that hacker shit after he realised how he looked
The Plague you say?...
>be in 1st year uni
>sitting beside friends on laptop just hanging about
>I pull out my netbook and use ubuntu with compiz
>I use cube workspace
>"is this some sort of geek super computer?"
>be a sysadmin
>show people how mitm attacks work and how to protect against it
>show people how xss works and how to protect against it
>show how code injection works
>harden people's security
>they call it hacking
lol ok
>school blocks myspace
>go to popular forum students use and post a phishing site as a way to get past the blocking
>have hundreds of logins the next day and cover dozens of profiles in porn while reading bulletins posted about me
Sounds like such a generic cod kiddie.

>hurrrr i got ur ip!!!!
But anon, ubuntu is literally the most pleb of all the *nix
>>show people how mitm attacks work and how to protect against it
how do mitms attacks work?
Beryl was so cheesy. You have to have been a tasteless moron.
That's called shoulder surfing, a social engineering technique

>the more you know
>find bug in BTX
>is pretty useless gives me random data
>have the password of the bank
>steel 135.000 DM
>call the news
>mfw everybody thinks im a hacker
What you are saying doesn't exist, sorry.

yeah i was using ubuntu netbook remix and has conky shit

now i just use linux on my vps for development and have grown up to use quality hardware with my Macbook Air™
>ranking distros as powerlevels

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>last Friday morning, at sister's apartment
>anon this thing keeps popping up and changing my homepage
>"I'll see what I can do but I should do it later it might take a while"
>later that day
>whip out Terminal
>sister & her gf watching
$ ps -A | less
$ /genieo
$ killall [genieo's process ID]
$ rm -r [genieo's directory]

>"woah hes hacking"
>"ikr i want to go to computer school so I can learn how to do this"
>mfw just using Unix shell
Google it nigger for the specifics, basically there is a malicious device between you and the internet stealing your packets.
>openly admitting to using unoobtu
how do you protect against it?
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and then you banged your sister?
>8th grade kids always want the wifi
>Find staff password (posted on piece of paper on teachers desk)
>Pleb school uses macs
>Login keychain shit with staff password
>Give wifi password to everyone
>Teachers confused think im based
>not connecting to weird networks
>using vpn when you do connect to weird networks
>not ever connecting to open wifi access points

Would you like to know more?
yes please

how do you know if a host is legit when connecting?
>computer school
>be in 2nd grade or some shit
>computer lab has Mac OS 8 or some bullshit
>when a program crashes or stops responding the entire machine crashes because I guess they couldn't into threads back then
>ctrl-alt-delete (or whatever the equivalent was in Mac OS8) would send a hardware interrupt and get you to the task manager so you don't have to restart computer
>classmates think I'm a wizard

>be in 4th grade
>class is in computer lab, many people are playing oregon trail
>figure out that oregon trail actually has fucking networked multiplayer
>get multiplayer oregon trail running
>its actually really cool, everyone votes on a person to make decisions
>drown my classmates in a river because they foolishly elected me leader
>classmates elect a new leader
>mfw I'm actually a wizard

>be in 12th grade
>class is compsci
>I already know how to program
>group final
>classmates fighting over who gets me
>girl not too subtly propositions sexual favors for my joining her group
>I instead join the guys I had been playing minesweeper with all year
>we get above 100% on the final
>install PortableApps on USB flash drive
>use Firefox instead of IE
>everyone thought I was a hacker
>be working at a parking lot
>there's a computer station with internet explorer
>start using it
>manager finds out
>2 mins layter IT guy comes and does something with the internet
>no one can connect
>notice on the status bar its connecting to
>went to IE network tab and cleared dummy dns, and set to auto
>we back again
>co-workers respect me for returning the net
Are you part of the CCC or just joking? Those guys have done some pretty awesome stuff.
>volunteer to help clean up / prepare library computer lab for the morning class
>set IE homepage for all library computers to 'assparade.com'
>"You're no hacker, anon. But you are a king among men."

>in econ
>class has to play one of those lemonade stand games
>girl asks me what the name of the website is
>I see a golden opportunity
>"Oh, its lemonparty.org"

lemonparty wasn't blocked
>be me in high school computers class
>know how to use trojans and stuff
>spy on everyones messengers
>know what girls talk about the guys on class
>fuck around opening porn webs when teacher comes near a partner's computer
>check on network
>staffroom and teachers computers unprotected
>fuck around swapping the windows loading screen for the "you can safely turn off now the computer" screen
>teachers turn off PCs around the building nobody figures what happens
>didnt have to do any exam for the next week
>eventually someone repaired the computers and protected the network properly
Mines worth reading:
>be me in high school
>cracked school staffs network (WPA)
>realize Apple TVs everywhere
>go down to auditorium for assembly
>so nobody logged into the Apple TV yet on the projector screen
>find it in the list of Apple products on network
>play "what does the fox say" on loop for about an hour while clueless teachers scatter.
>almost get charged with a felony and almost get expelled from school over that and something else I did
>runescape glory days
>in duel arena
>losing? eat to full health and press x
>tfw i got expelled from school and almost charged for calling a kid a faggot because he had daddy issues

Charged for what? Being a faggot yourself?
I almost got expelled from college once. I forgot my ID card at my apartment (1hr journey away) and snuck in using someone elses ID that I borrowed. Fatass security guy caught me and ratted me out, even though he saw me every day and knew who I was.
>being a faggot
>calling someone a faggot because he would follow me around and try to fight me on the daily
>mfw i'm the faggot

>be tech writer
>see word doc pw protected
>research and implement
>holy shit why aren't you dev hakzor anon?
>explain unemployed tester working as tech writer for bills
>removed from contract a month later because people were asking me to do what I was qualified, not paid, to do
>left 8a company a month later

Made enough to retire on in 10 years, bored, looking to get back in breaking sloppy code.
It was really like, these people are my people!
Fraud is always fraud, even if they know who you are.
>Last year of high school
>Netbooks given out by socialist government
>Comes with regular win7 and some national linux distro themed to look like win7 and with all functionality locked down, can't install or update anything because I don't have root nor sudo persmissions and root's password is supposedly a random key from what I've heard
>Single-user mode through GRUB
>g0t r00t w00t w00t
>Install pentesting tools
>ARP attack on the school network, over 200 of these netbooks connected
>Set up SSLstrip
>Get all the info

I guess that's why they locked down the Linux install. Network slowed to a crawl whenever I did that, but the IT guy in charge knew squat shit and just restarted the switch and server every once in a while. I've got a list of about 150 Facebook accounts, 150 Twitters, 100 Instagrams, and a lot more.
>openly admitting that you're a virgin
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>be in 8th grade
>have copy of melissa viruson floppy
>share it with friends saying its nothing harmful
I remember similar doings
Good times
Now I don't, because I'm not poor
This is true.
>Using Firefox
Sad times
>senior year of high school
>taking a "TV Production class"
>needed an elective so that i could graduate
>all brand new imacs in the classroom donated by some furfag
>they have adobe premier and bullshit
>our studio for filming the news is p nice
>teacher says he has been in the industry and worked for multiple companies including CNN
>go into studio
>there are 3 monitors hanging down that they display shit o during news
>change color settings so they are all blue
>teacher has no idea how to change them back to normal
>freaks out that i broke them
>threatens to write me up (have me sent to (principal)
>literally click 2 buttons and they're back to normal
wait i dont get it they fired you why?
Oh, forgot to mention. I told a couple of friends about this and told them to keep their mouths shut or we'd all get in serious fucking trouble. They did.

We skimmed through most of those accounts. The hive queen had nudes on her Facebook, hidden to everyone but her boyfriend. Very fucking nasty, bitch was going away with an anal douche and dildo.

There was a "RUMORS FROM ANON HIGH" page where people uploaded all sorts of school rumors and shit.

Made an anonymous Facebook account, joined group, uploaded nudes, all through Tor because she was still underage (17, but I wasn't taking any risks). Massive shitstorm, girl's parents called the police, male population of my school fapped until balls dried out since she was hot as Hell. Didn't get caught.

My friends thought I was God.
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>Mid 90's
>Bar manager for a big chain
>Anon, we are going to test new software for a nationwide rollout in your outlet
>install team leak stocktaker password and admin password

I must have creamed 20K off of them in a year with a couple of tweaks
continuing from this
>sitting in class
>always fucking around because class is a joke
>make over 1000 shortcuts on the desktop on the daily
>change wallpaper to anime shit
>never used a mac for this long before
>friend who sits in front of me tells me that there is a command in terminal that plays the entire star wars movie in ASCII
>open up terminal
>start typing shit in
>teacher runs over
>tell him I'm just goofing around while my video renders
>close it
>guy turns off my computer and makes me sit in the other room
>class is laughing their asses off
>come in the next day
>mac i always sit at has restrictions on it so hard that there is almost nothing i can do on it
>switch computers
>decide to fuck this faggot over
>set a custom alarm to go off next class period with a custom sound "an_epic_tale_of_one_mans_journey_to_find_himself.swf"
>guy never speaks to me again the rest of the year
>Get a C in the class
>look around some network shares in university
>find otrs database dump
>several important support email accounts with passwords in there too
>"oh anon you such a hax0r"
>6th grade, elementary school
>Do a project that requires simplistic page of text (poem, board game to occupy time between end of advanced math and end of normalfag math)
>Normalfags using Word 2003
>Change color palette to look like 80s computer
That and I discovered shutdown -i in eighth grade and put it to use in ninth grade biology. I was too paranoid/well-behaved to try on teachers' computers.
run reaver in backtrack
free internet
are u hackr anon
>In HS.
>Tell the girl I had a crush on I built my on PC.
>Became super smart and a hacker.
yup shutdown /i
>people will lose their shit
I had two incidents

My first was I got into command prompt by saving a notepad document as a .bat file with the words command it it.
Opened command prompt, typed dir /s matrix starting coming up, everyone thought I was a haxor...
>incident 2
opened command prompt, typed netsend * ur gay lololololololol nothing happened, got called into the head of ITs office a week later saying that the message ur gay lololololololol got sent around 5 schools in the county. Was banned of the computers for 6 months..

Also last incident was when I ping www.youtube.com in CMD, got the IP address and then it got past the shitty filters they had on the Internet..
>the only vulnerable network in my neighbourhood disappeared
so sad, (s)he even still had the same old shitty router and same contract that I once got with my ISP years ago
Be in 80s band that toured and played nearly every major college in south. Show up to play frat party at UF Gainesville in '86. Douche frat bros give us their library for dressing room backstage area.

I notice a vintage PC that has a modem and can access university mainframe.

Program the modem to call the frat house voice phone line every sixty seconds (and it would hang up if it did not connect)

Frat bros spend HOURS trying to figure out why someone is calling and hanging up every sixty seconds on their big party day. Phone line goes wild for several hours and frat bros can't figure it out, they call university, and technician is sent over - he finally figured it out.

Frat Bros freak out on us because they figure it was one of us. "Sorry frat bros; we are just high school dropout musicians, no computer skills...."

Douches :-)
Well firstly always assume that open wifi is not legit.

It's much harder to do a mitm with actual real encrypted connections that do a real handshake
>hs freshman
>logged in to bbs from school library computer
>banned from using library computers
>sophmore take typing class
>computers use win95
>dos commands work at shutdown screen
>gain access to cmd and a bunch of other junk
>really only end up playing minesweeper
>junior year take computer skills class
>office for faggots
>novell shitware only allows a user to save to their folder
>find folders in the novell directory with full read write access that the software uses for network shit or something
>download and save simcity2000 and doom installers to the folder
>tell everyone in class
>everyone slacks off for te rest of the year
>we take turns doing our assignment and save it to the folder then everyone grabs it and throws in their own mistakes
>doom multiplayer tourneys
I literally just fucked my wife.
based anon

>actually; without exaggeration or inaccuracy:
"The city was literally destroyed."

This definition was added, that is the correct usage now lmao
>school network is locked down, it knows what theyre doing
>set up an open router in the back corner of the library with the same ssid as the teachers wifi
>dns redirect to custom facebook and twitter homepage
>mfw all these logins
>13 year old retard
>DDOSing Paypal or something because ANONYMOUS IS LEGION XD
>Tell a friend about it
>He thinks I'm a real hacker
Round two
>junior math class
>teacher is trying to get onto Youtube, but it's blocked
>Say that it would be easy to get around with a proxy
>everyone jokes around about how I'm some kind of hacker
Its much more problematic when dealing with these faggots online.
>little brother asked for help, someone on a minecraft server was 'hacking' him
>hurry and check for backdoors and shit
>ask him whats the problem
>he keeps disconnecting
>turns out some fag was trying to login as him and the server was disconnecting him and my brother's account constantly
>fucker still login'd again and again
>talk to him, with a new account and tell him to fuck off
>he says tells me to give him the diamond shovel or he'll keep 'hacking'
meanwhile my brother is bawwwing his eyes out

You are so literally correct, it was literally amazing, how literal and correct that literally amazing sentence was.
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On April 1st I fucked with my college's e-mail system and sent a mass-email to all students saying classes were cancelled.

I sent it out at around 3am, and it wasn't until 11am that IT tried to fix the situation by sending out 3 e-mails afterwards telling students classes were still happening.

It was interesting how they tried to contain it, since I sent the e-mail out to all student college e-mails, apparently sometime between 9am to 10am they went to the master outlook server (since the college uses some Outlook business solution) and mass-deleted the e-mail from all mailboxes. But obviously several students which have e-mail forwarding or just read the e-mail ahead of time still got the message.

Best part when the Chief IT person sent out a mass e-mail going "sorry peeps, but ya know the school is susceptible to malicious attacks." Laughed pretty hard at that, but decided against telling anyone I did it since it pissed a bunch of people off.
>So anon, you ever hacked anything?
I got into reversing in high school and college and wrote a bunch of hacks for this shitty online game called phantasy star online. Sega got really pissed off and range banned my ISP. Those were fun times
>i want to go to computer school
And Nef was born.
>sophmore in highschool
>learning about linux
>find tails
>install on flash drive and give one to my friend
>torrent porn on the schools bandwith for shits giggles
another day
>plug in flash drive on school
>startup console dump
needless to say I used windows for that period
>guy in high school doesn't think I can shut down his computer remotely

I tell him I can make a program that does it. He doesn't believe me so I copy over some fully functional client/server winsock code from a website I knew about. After about half an hour I managed to compile the client and server and I copy over the server to his computer, run the client and his computer shuts down. Blew his mind.
Nice use of the word!
You're a fast learner!
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>be in highschool
>on library computers
>on code academy learning python
>librarian comes over and sees what I am doing
>"He's hacking the computers!"
>get kicked out of the library
What happens if you shutdown i?
>hour of code
>everyone is learning scratch
>show my friends codeacademy
I now have 3 more people to help me carry out my nefarious hacking schemes
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>get the admin password in school by some miracle
>replace stickykeys with command prompt on a few computers
>log on by hammering the shift key and starting explorer.exe whenever I want
>in high school
>messing around in computer room
>friend pulls up python command line
>he types random things then says he has no idea what hes doing
>i print hello world
>"woah anon are you some kind of hacker?
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this one I liked
You stupid faggot, if you're going to shill for Apple atleast shill the MacBook Pro
holy shit what is this wizard magic
now you know how the russians operate
>6 or 7th grade
>can download movies and burn them like op
>some kids shocked that I can steal movies
>anon can you make me one?
>sell movies for $5 each
>made about $60 total
I set up a PC in the living room of my shared apartment. It has Netflix, a collection of music, a browser and whatnot. It also controls the TV through rs-232 serial.
One of our roommates has shit taste and he's always playing terrible music at high volumes, or watching mediocre food network shows. So sometimes I SSH into the computer from the other room and fuck with him in various ways.
Everybody's in on it except him, but they don't understand exactly how it works and to them, it's wizard hackery.
shutdown /i
>Angsty 13 year old
>Learning to program
>Write "virus" that format C:/
>Release it on school computers
>Feel like a 733T Haxor
Reading through this thread made me cringe so much.
A few times while playing BFP4F I would detect a large amount of newbies in my presence. So I would tell them that pressing [ALT] + [F4] gave you slow motion vision for 30 seconds but it would only work 1 time per game. Half the fucking players online almost instantly disappeared, but then faggot mod banned me for life for having fun. Goddam killjoys
>Freshman in college
>Big into Cain and Able
>shit dorm network has whole floor on same subnet
>Arp poison attack
>Keep a directory of people's identities as I got them, 20 some odd kids
>tell no one
>no one is the wiser
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>be me
>hack the Gibson
>cum all over my keyboard
>take a shit on my hard drive
>slap Obama with it
>rip my balls off
>slam them against the ceiling
>they fucking stick

>be 14
>learning vb6 like a pro
>make a program that runs in the background and copies itself in every drive
>you plug in a usb, it copies itself there, nothing else
>tell friend about it
>he makes sure everyone in school knows about it
>1337 h4xx0r
>teacher sends me to principal for making a 'virus'
>explain the principal what it actually does
>principal is a really rational guy
>praises me for making something so good
>tells me to remove it from the computers, because it might bug people
>give me a kitkat
>i go home happy
>>tells me to remove it from the computers, because it might bug people

>might "bug" people

you got trolled
what a bro.
end yourself
But it does. I did the exact same shit when I was in high school. Back in the XP SP1 days.
>open the terminal
That's how it works, right?
>sister & her gf
>cain and abel

Mah nigga. This was my first skiddie program.
Forgot a step. Gotta make the text green first. Then you are a certified hacker.
I'm glad that was resolved so well.
>in class
>editing a file on my server with vim through ssh
>a girl behind me asks "what are you doing?"
>then she says "oh, you're hacking"
should have said
>"Yeah and I'm getting in that puss later ;^)"
>Be me, sophomore year of high school
>Occasional experience on stage lighting console under guidance of bitter old EE whose children had long since graduated
>Sitting in health class
>Security guard pulls me out of class to reveal that she's with the giant black intimidating security guard
>Fuckers try to bait me into admitting something
>Confused af
>Dismiss me to class, tell me jack shit
>Later found out that some faggot was turning off hallway lights by sticking credit card into restricted lightswitches
>Apparently because of my background I must be the one who hacked the lights
I acquired the admin password of my high shools online portal. I was able to read all of the teachers notes on all students. Got to read some shit I didn't expect

>teachers talking about kids who got raped.
>notes on various home situations.
>a short list of students who were on the verge of getting expelled

There was only one note on me. "Anon is a daydreamer but has good grades so it's okay". I never added a note myself in fear of getting caught. I also only ever told one friend. I had another friend who I would have told but his personal notes were full of shit I didn't want to confront him with. He probably would have stirred shit and get me in trouble.
also this command is
telnet towel.blinkenlights.nl

if youre the newest of fags
>Single user mode on Mac
>Admin on 5 computers
Good times.

Teachers need to know varying amounts of information about students in terms of how they react, how they learn and any issues that may need to be addressed. This transfer of information seems to indicate a system where teachers could find out about their previous students that are coming into their class.

Please go on though.
Well. I went through the notes of pretty much everybody that I knew. Most peoples notes only contained basic information about grades and whatnot. But then you come across shit like

>Anon's sister has leukemia, she hasn't got long to live.
>The parents of this person died in a car crash last year
>Anon has been in juvenile detention before and is a notorious shoplifter - don't let him get outside without supervision during school hours
>Anon is very rude so I gave him an F on his maths test even though it's arguably a D+. It's best for him to redo this year

That and one my teachers turned out to have some severe PTSD. Even that information was shared.
>tfw school networks were secure
>all ports but 80 blocked
>all non-HTTP traffic blocked
>443 only on whitelisted domains
>school computers locked down
>no fun allowed
couldn't even use SSH to actually get work done during class
>Anon is very rude so I gave him an F on his maths test even though it's arguably a D+. It's best for him to redo this year

Should have forwarded that to the principal.
>be in 6th grade also
>everyone gets a macbook to use
>fuck yeah marble blast gold
>download the free custom maps DLC
>dumb bitch thinks I'm hacking and tells the teacher
>remove the hacks or you lose the computer privilege

I wiped the harddrive clean on the last day including the OS, that was my way of getting back at them when I was 12
>CS major
>had the module IT security
It was pretty much "hacking for idiots" explaining how to bruteforce WPA networks, how to exploit buffer overflows and how to write SQL injections
>Color A
>ping google.com
Was this in Australia?
>3 years ago
>in court
>"using your computer skills to a malicious and selfish end"
> it was actually just a maths trick to win at roulette online
>mfw I have no face
>be in Year 8 (age 12 for nonbrits)
>computing class, teacher is a pretty hot 20-something gril
>someone in class asks me to download a song for them after school
>i tell them i can do it now
>google "index of /" "<songname>.mp3"
>find the song, plug in their shitty USB music player which everyone used back then and put it on for them
>teacher sees me doing this
>"oh wow you're pretty smart with computers anon!"
>tell her yeah, i can code shit too, tell her about how i'm trying to learn C
>"you really are smart! see me after class is finished ;)"
>oh shit son
>next hour of class goes by slow as fuck as I get excited
>bell rings
>everyone leaves
>stay seated
>teacher walks behind me
>puts her hand on my shoulder
>"you know anon, i've worked here for 3 years now and nobodies been as good with computers as you"
>palms get sweaty
>heart races
>"i've been working on a small site, it uses javascript and CSS, you should help me with it! you'll get paid too of course"
>tell her i'm not really good with javascript (even though i already wrote some AJAX AIM messenger clone with a friend once, back in the days before jquery) because I really hated working with JS
>go home
>come back next week
>she quit working for school to work on that site full time
And now I can't find a job anywhere, fuck
>Senior year
>put ultrasurf on a usb drive
>bring to school
>whenever we use computers I go on Twitter and 4chan
>everyone thinks I a uber haxorr
In 10th grade I had a hirens CD and the computer at school had a bios lock so you couldn't change it from booting off the network drive bullshit, so I pulled it out and reset the bios password, booted into the hard drive and used this website called getus.in to get through to any website bypassing the schools website blocker, so me and my friends downloaded a bunch of porn from random websites and we eventually infected it and since it was connected to the network drive the whole schools computers were infected and they were saying through the PA system to not connect any flash drives or log in to anything because there were viruses everywhere. No one ever found out it was me and my homies
Was using javascript a thing back then?
I always though javascript was reborn with the release of the V8 engine and pretty much not used before.
If she had only asked you that a year later when you had hit puberty
>play vidya with a group of friends
>know how to edit the hack tool source from game hack bastards
>superjump in game
>unlimited sprint
>no recoil
>no spread

Didn't tell them for months, but they were suspicious eventually. It was a great childhood moment when I finally superjumped in front of everyone and we were all laughing. Man I miss being a kid.
Use web ssh.

Epik story, Nef
I don't even have to try for this

>school computer in library don't have locked bios
>all computer are already set to boot from usb by default
>stick in liveusb of any linux distro
>people think you hacked the computer

What's even funnier is people will put a usb in one before it boots and it will give them a error since there is no bootloader on the usb drive, and everyone just assumes the computer is broken.
Tried Shell In A Box, didn't work.
>sister asks if I can put virus on her friends fiancee laptop
>thinks I make the virus
>made 100 bucks in 15 min
>used darkcomet

Too busy shitposting on 4chan to write one.
>Grade 4
>show my bestie my comp
>use command prompt type in ipconfig I'm computer
>whoa what is that are those like Internet passwords u hacked?

Sorry she said virus but meant rootkit.
Wouldn't work unless they whitelisted that site for SSL traffic.
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Nah not really, that's why we worked on that messenger clone, instant chat in a browser hadn't really been done before and people still had to download chat clients back then (besides Java applet clients and some hacky long-polling shit) but now you have facebook chat and places like livechan.

JS was awful to work with then too, no way to debug code at all and I don't even think there was a developer console.
JSON still wasn't a thing neither so I remember we had to make our own way of serializing data, like sending
>1|-|-|Anon|-|-|Online|-|-|420 blaze it faggot
which would decode to
>ID: 1, User: Anon, Status: Online, User status: 420 blaze it faggot
Ugly but it worked.

Speaking of ugly heres a screenshot that I uploaded to wikipedia, back when I thought we were onto something big with it.
Looks like an older version though, I'm pretty certain we had the contact list + chatting implemented, but this screenshot just has placeholders.
Wish I still had the code from back then, would be fun to look through.

But yeah, I've been using jQuery for a college project and I've gotta say things have improved a lot, being able to set breakpoints and quickly run some code in the browser makes stuff way easier.

Heh if only, she did actually seem sort of interested too... ;-;

Shell in a Box should've worked just fine. I love my Shell in a Box.

You could try Gateone as well.
Ah okay.
you didn't walked the dinosaur ?

Son, I am disappointed.
>high school
>in library
>cute girl sittin next to me
>net send her a message
>look over at her
>she gives me weird look
>write a batch script to loop net send to *
>library computers all go down at once
>she jumps up
>"it was him" pointing at me
>one day suspension
fucking cunt
> not using angular
> not using polymer
Get with it anon, no one uses jQuery anymore
I have no idea how this actually goes about (old techonlogy, not even born), but it does sound hilarious. Good job.
Mac OS 8 never existed
How did net send work anyway? What would the message show up as?
I always tried to use it on the school computers but could never get it to happen. I wasn't as good with computers back then.

>be grill
>be computer lab
>this guy with BO sits right next to me in empty library for no apparent reason, I sigh
>he's a tad too sweaty, he's puffing and his BO has turned into a stench
>he keeps trying to get my attention in subtle ways
>I can see him glancing over in my peripheral vision
>suddenly a message pops up on my screen
>"pls respond"
>ffs, I sigh inwards
>I decide to acknowledge him in the hopes he will fuck off finally
>turn, give him a weird, disgusted look as if to say, "fuck off?"
>he turns quickly back to his monitor, and starts hammering keys
>suddenly every computer shuts down
>great, this awkward nerd has caused me to lose an hour of work
>I decide to inform the staff so this doesn't happen to another student again
>IT staff lead him away
>have to redo my work
>fucking fat cunt
Steve Jobs isn't even alive.
>or some shit.
Purchased a 15€ item from a shitty ecommerce site vulnerable to a basic SQL injection that allowed me to log in as the first user in the DB, who ended up paying the item.
Fucking idiots...
>8th grade
>had original droid
>had app where i could call people from other's numbers
>call friend 1 from friend 2s phone

>everyone thought i was 1337 phone hacker
What did you tell her? I find it interesting that her first reaction was to rat you out, as if by revenge or deep dislike over demonstrating a computer skill.
lel well the project is only to make a small PHP store, course I'm doing is pretty entry level so most of the lessons for this unit been showing people how to do basic PHP shit and some beginner JS/jQuery, if I used anything more than that I'd probably get less marks :^(

If anyone wants to fuck about there's a copy up on
Registering doesn't need a valid email, just has to look valid.
Haven't really done any pentesting on it since it's just a small project and only worth 40%, but feel free to try
>want to start ISP
>call apartment building to see if theyre interesting in the service
>they already have 100 symmetric service from company SCD or something
>nerd rage
>find their AS
>scan IP range
>find microwave trunk
>default login works
>browse around

>It is fucked.

"There are no items in your basket."
You added something to your basket first right?

Basket is tied to PHP session id, so if you're not saving session cookies or something like that it probably won't work

Otherwise idk, I would change it to use user id for the basket too but the sample project the tutor put up for this assignment didn't use it so I didn't bother, maybe I'll look into tomorrow just incase though
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>be 11 year old me
>edgy skiddie phase
>use C&A to poison my own home network
>steal my older brothers email
>read it, nothing on it
>my brother was standing behind me.
>he tells mom
>grounded from computers and other tech devices for 6 months

and thats how I got branded as a 1337 h4x0r by my family (eventually turned into the"computer guy") and discovered that I have a talent for theatre.
I like the frontend, but I'm too tired to register and shit.
Thanks, well here's a test account
user testshit
pass lol123
i'm not a hacker
everybody in my family thinks i'm a computer illiterate
I wish my family thought that, hate being their go-to guy for computer problems
Not poster but

I've made it painfully clear I switched to Linux and I don't do anything after Windows 7. They recently bought new hardware so I'm off the hook.

>Welcome back testshit!

This is really cool stuff, again to comment on the frontend: it's nice and intuitive, and the backend produces a responsive feel (I mean, sure, it's not got billions of users but you get my drift). I'm no 1337 hacker so I can't comment on security.

Is this on your own server? I have this possibly irrational fear that by port-forwarding 24/7 my Perforce server I'm going to get rekt somehow.
>friend and i doing a powerpoint for class
>didn't get much done
>day of presentation
>open up the powerpoint doc in notepad
>type a little gibberish
>program now shows up as corrupt
>email it to teacher
>doesn't work during presentation time
>teacher gives us another week to do it
>actually get it done this time
I used this to buy myself more time all through high school
Heh thanks, this actually only took about a week to make, MVC + Bootstrap can really get you going pretty quick.

It's on a dedicated server I got from OVH/Kimsufi, they sell dedis cheap as fuck, paying 25 euros a month for
>Core i7-920 (4 cores/8 threads) @ 2.66GHz
>2TB disk space
>100Mbps unmetered connection

They sell cheaper ones too with less specs but they all have 100Mbps unmetered, only problem with them is there's almost no support at all, all they offer for Kimsufi servers is a community forum where the staff hardly ever answer but that's no problem if you know what you're doing
highschool classic
I would love to just sit in starbucks and be able to fuck with the laptops of people around me. I remember watching a video where someone was able to access others' facebooks because they connected to the wifi.
Yeah all with a plugin for.Firefox. forgot the name. Facebook basically didn't encrypt the way they kept sessions and the plugin would steal sessions of people on Feb on the same WiFi u were on. Shit was cache.
Got school wifi password from school laptop.
Gave it to everyone for the next 7 years.
be anhero
>And that's how I learnt to keep my mouth shut and don't empower idiots.


Never show your power level. If you have a CEH or something similar keep your mouth shut, because every time your company's ISP slows down, it's because your hacking it. Never, ever recover emails, because then you'll be the guy who can steal company info.

And for god's sake never say you can get into the cloud.

Just think of how you look at someone you know can pick locks. Now put that on a corporate level.

>be 13
>runescape classic days
>nigger friend kills me
>"I'll fucking hack you that's bullshit you killed me and took my shit"
>"you can't hack anon see you at school faggot"
>See the cunt at school the next day "
>"Still butthurt anon?Gonna hack me?"
>pull out laptop
>confused staring
>turn it on
>Smack his face with the fucking laptop
>suspended for a week
>mfw playing runescape at home with laptop

Uh, that is 4chan slang for committing suicide.
that's why I laugh when I hear these Lulzsec guys and Anonymoose being talked about. The "real" guys are the ones you never hear about and they're certainly not making youtube videos.
>middle school
underage b&
The real ones are making a living selling their malware to the chinese.
facebook was founded almost 11 years ago
11 years ago was 15 years ago. Time goes by so quickly.
>runescape glory days
>duel arena
pick one
we give u trojarn rong time big boy
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>elementary school
>login prompt has network name already filled in
>change it from "SCHOOL_DOMAIN" to "SCHOOL_DOMIAN"
>teacher spends the entire class trying to figure out what's wrong
Duel arena came about at the beginning of RS2 beta, the exact moment the game became playable.
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>AP CS teacher gave me the password to the computer at his desk to print something for him (passWord123)
>few days later, bored at home
>get behind a chinese vpn and run nmap on the school's ip
>port 22 is open
>i wonder...
>ssh root@(school's ip here)
>password: passWord123
>holy shit it works
>rm -rf /* --no-preserve-root
>literally everything gone, digital copies of transcripts, schedules, website, everything
>police got involved
>no one suspects a thing
>apparently they managed to recover some files, but the rest of the school year was clusterfucked indefinitely
>teacher hands back my midterm
>"I know it was you, anon"
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>me, 13 years old
>in Chess club we had to do a test on a computer
>at home I have made a simple process kill program in VB6 (copy paste sauce)
>set timer to loop every 100ms, works on my computer just fine
>I run the program in school and add it to the startup.
>tfw school's computers were too weak and didn't handle my program
>tfw IT guy didn't know what to do and he reinstalled Windows
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pics or it didn't happen
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>Be me in 2005
>played WoW, but not the way most would play.
>Instead scammed my guild big time.
>applied to a fairly high pop guild, made friends with the GM, claimed I knew web development and should take over the website.
>He agrees being the mouth breather he is.
>At first was nice and created a good looking front page. The mebers are impressed.
>a week later, I created a logger for forum / vdkp user/passes. Logged each to a txt file in /tmp/.
>After a quick SQL query to the vdkp database, I had matches for each.
>Turns out half the guild were password re-users (including the GM) and this was before the blizz authenticator.
>singlehandedly brought down the largest guild on Warsong when I logged into the GM and half the officer's characters, stole all their gold, sold all the stuff in the guild bank and left them all naked in Feralas.
>Ended selling the gold to a farmer for a cool 500 bucks and a few of the accounts for 30 a piece.
>They never found out it was me.

pic related, code of password logger and some of the usernames.
you shutdown immediately
Man, im just browsing trough this thread and I don't know what any of this shit means. It's just so fun to read it though.

Where can I go to start learning just the slightest of this shit?
Something similar happened to me, i taught a retard how to cut the lights by getting a wire through an eraser and putting it in the plug. He did it 7 times in two days, then turned me in.
We both got suspended.
>girl not too subtly propositions sexual favors for my joining her group
>I instead join the guys I had been playing minesweeper with all year
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Not really hacking, but social engineering:
>14 years old
>created stupid pink heart-filled webpage with form elements
>sent it to all people at school through our schools mailing form
>"enter your name"
>"enter the name of your crush"
>page would generate a random "match" value between 20% and 80%
>page mailed me the details
>talked to people
>"so hey, uh about derpina"
>their faces when I knew their secrets
>mfw all that knowledge and power over people
>I never did anything with it
>what is pidof
> 11th grade, hear some retards quietly talking about "hacking" none of them know what they are talking about.
> I open up command prompt and enter a bunch of basic commands to see if my hunch people in the class are fucking retards is correct
>dudebro sitting next to me is like "bro no way are you hacking?" and calls over a bunch of his buddies to watch
>soon a big crowd gathers around me
>I enter "tree"
>everyone's mind is blown
>I become the coolest guy in the class
>Realize I was right, I think to myself this must be a special ed class
>Faith in humanity died a little that day
>be me in high school
>Electronics class
>find out i can launch cmmd through a .bat file
>shutdown friends computer who was browsing some websites
>leave a message like "You're not working, we'll shutdown your computer. Your IP and account has been logged."
>friend shits himself
>silently kek
>find out teacher is browsing some shopping websites
>do the same
>teacher looks over his monitor
>look of fear
>last month
>checking out map.ipviking.com
>colleagues all gathering around interested
>move it up to the overhead office monitors so others can watch it
>10 minutes later, run a port scan on one of the victim IPs
>whole things assplodes with our office IP
>lags to a halt, whole country is glowing
>wow anon, youre going to get arrested!
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fuck off.
>i had an operating system on a USB stick
>used it on a school computer
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>>"so hey, uh about derpina"
m8 you might want to fuck off
What do normals think "hack"ing is?

off to 9gag you go.
thank you.
Not hackery, but
>7th grade
>teacher is helping person next to me
>hands me floppy disk and asks me to "put this in"
>I interpret it as put in floppy drive. I decide to bring up the disk directory so she can immediately look and pick out he file to load.
>Hindsight I think she meant put the disk in the binder where they kept them.
>She sees my screen, scolds me about something, then gives the class a lecture about privacy or not looking at other peoples' files or somesuch.
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>>teacher looks over his monitor
>>look of fear
characters falling like crazy on a command prompt
not your fault, if the teacher says things like that and expects people to interpret them perfectly, she's an idiot
i mean, what do they think it doesnt, not what it looks like
It's anything that they don't know how to do, or knew was possible.
what they think it does? steal passwords and launch nuclear wars, what else?
anything you do in command
>whenever we use computers I go on Twitter and 4chan

>using 4chan in public

nice autism
Fuck your "downloading movies" bullshit
Back in my day I was hooking together 2 VCRs and duplicating copies of movies that I acquired from the local computer market before release
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>Own an internet cafe in a third world country
>Members of an high school delinquent gang usually browse the net in our cafe
>Find the Friendster profile of their gang, full of gang stuff and hiphop (Friendster had a lot of CSS customization back then)
>Friendster does not require the user to verify their email
>Make an email account based on their Friendster account credentials because I was bored in the night
>Successfully reset their password with my own and gain access to it
>Replace the CSS customization they put in place, and I put in girly backgrounds and fag music
>MFW I saw them fuming the next day while almost all people they know branded them as the gang of fags
>MFW my friends who knew this thought I was a dangerous haxxor who could damage their IRL image

Good times
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Got another story

>Still in HS
>weed dealer thug wannabe in the same class
>Find out his password
>Log in to his account on his usual computer
>Change wallpaper to hello.jpg
>change all shortcuts to a bat "firefox.exe http://goatse.ru"
>Add shoop'd gay pictures of him with his "homie"
>next hour he gets on the computer and logs in
>mfw he never knew it was me
I made a fork bomb after reading about them online, showed it to my friends.
> leave RunMe.bat on desktop
> codedto run another 20 instances of RunMe.bat when opened.
> all the CMD windows exploding over the desktop until machine is so slow to be unusable.
> Rest of the year, couldn't leave your PC or you would come back to find it dead.
>what have I done.
>Hur dur back in my day
>Trying to pull the olderfag card

Absolutely disgusting.
>bored in Design & Technology
>Super + R
>color 1a
>miss he's hacking the computers

every time
design tech shitiest class
this is the greatest thing i've ever read
Mine wasn't so bad, our teacher taught us basic CAD.
I do it, but then again, the family who asks pays me, in free rent.
Didn't say I was lurking or posting then, try and be more butthurt
>still using bootstrap
>no material design

But seriously though, noice. Might want to use consistent sized images, but it is just a cs project. Also, it looks like you're linking your files directly to your server, should probably not do that incase you ever move servers.

Also, interesting that you bought a dedicated server, and no domain, most people just get some free heroku shit (they let just host apps on their shit for free, no idea how good support is for PHP etc, I'm all about the new, fashionable, silicon valley circle jerk stuff), and a cheap domain name.
my teacher told us where the program was, then expected us to be able to recreate a shopping center then present it as a video overview.

teacher actually knew jack shit about what we were expected to complete as he was mainly a wood tech/metal tech teacher
Fucking autist. You deserved that suspension.
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> Sniff arround network folders at school
> Find folder with write rights
> Make .bat file that maps it to a drive letter. and give it to everyone in class
> Everyone puts pirated cod1 and cs, other crap on the folder.
> Apparantly its the folder where network printer jobs are stored.
> All of the printers can't print anymore
>in some class in highschool don't remember which
>grade 9 i think
>always been interested in being leet hacker
>computers have deepfreeze so you can't do much
>found the hotkey to bring up the deepfreeze admin password box
>something like ctrl+shift+f12
>spend days reading online how to get in
>never do
Also, windows 98 with Novell.
>been learning vb6 because i would finish up my math class then go hang out in the computer class a couple grades above me
>decide to recreate the look of the novell login screen
>add some bullshit about the computer being locked and it wont unlock until an administrator unlocks the system
>ask teacher to help
>she comes over and blankly stares for a bit
>reluctantly types in her login/password
>saves to a text file on the public drive
>thank her
>go retrieve it
The school used FirstClass. It was everything faculty of all the highschools in the provice, as far as I know. Personal schedules, global announcements, a personal and public mail system. The public mail system was basically an unsorted inbox, where anyone could "post". Any teacher login could get to these. Nothing hugely interesting, warned some friends about shit teachers were getting suspicious about.
I'll write a bit more.
yeah, let's keep 4chin an ebin sikrit club of mememez, amirite gais? XD
anything without a gui
>the months go by and I check every once in a while
>nothing too interesting
>another computer class eventually
>shoulder-surfed his password just in case someone changes their password
>logon to firstclass with his account to read personal posts
>model teacher of the year borderline suck-up
>weeks go by eventually he asked me when I got into firstclass (may have overheard me talking with a friend)
>I tell him i was on time for first period to play dumb
>explains what he means
>dunno man, sorry
>deathglare and walks off
Never really read anything else in there. Exciting for a kid my age though, I guess. Especially the fake login prompt. As soon as I called her over my heart was pounding.
>social engineering
>basically a phishing site
>being this much of a skid kid
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>always using laptop in school
>have unusual software
>they call me a pro and always ask me if their laptop has a problem
I got free internet for a year using that program
>browsing cesspool that is Facebook
>anon posted: "shouldn't have left your Facebook open on your phone #hacked"
>why am I friends with these people
my high school used a voip system for the phones in each class. I had some shitty laptop and brought it to school, went behind the cafeteria and found a LAN port so I just left it there running a DDoS on the VOIP system.
I think the phones were down for like 2 weeks they couldnt figure it out!
ALso found out how to use the intercom system for the entire school using a #719
This, also damaged CD's for same purpose
why are you friends with those people? you'll never learn anything from them and Facebook is basically just another media consumption feed now.
This thread isn't ironic, is it?
it is, embrace the irony and be one with the edgy, underage l33t haxers
Why do all your friends have to be tech literate? My best friend is a macfag and thinks torrenting movies is scary. Guy is a total blast to hang out with and we get up to all kinds of awesome shit.
>See IT dude type in his password
>This guy has direct control of the entire school district website http://www.pvusd.net/ (It looked different back then)
>Main image on front page was a swf
>IT guy goes on an errand or something
>I switch the main SWF file with meatspin
I found network printers around my school and sent at least 150 jobs to the spooler.
No one was allowed to print anything after that, but the admins did not learn. Still printed to a network printer from my iPod.
>be 11th grade
>friends parents removed wifi access(by not telling him the WEP[they used wep] key)
>he calls me and is like "hey, can you please help me get back on the internet my parents kicked me off i'll pay you $10"
>I asked him what kinda router he had, explained what a router was and he said they had a purple one
>tell him to type on his parent's computer
>he said it asked for a password
>gave him the default linksys password
>surprise surprise it worked
>asks me how the fuck I knew that
>guide him through finding the key and getting on
>fucker never pays me but tells everyone
>other people pay me to do simple, stupid things
u r da real hacker
I did this to my friends except I told them to enable remote login.
never said they had to be, actually if I had a friend that wasn't annoying as fuck half the time i spend with him I'd be grateful
your sister uses linux
>in data structures class
>open up computer
>boot up arch
>white text scrolling across screen
>no login manager yet
>enter in credentials, then type startx
>window manager starts drawing
>macbook fag is staring at me
>he asks me how to make his mac boot up like that

I use to login to other peoples' accounts at my school, because all of their passwords were their name but with 1 on the end. I changed my password so no one else could use my account, muhahaha.

I use to go and login as admin then screw up the network in command prompt. No one ever caught me.
>some guy figured out how to use net send.
>tried net send *
>thinks it only shows up at his friends pc
>holds entire conversation with friend the whole school gets spammed
ahhhhhhh net send
gud times
>around 2004 or 2005
>order universal remote from ebay
>go to shopping mall
>turn off all tv's
>sit down and wait for the lulz
>elderly repair guy comes to see whats up
>tests for current in the socket
>it werks
>plugs tv in
>nothing happens
>scratches head
>literally just pounds the TV with his fists a few times
>no luck
>moves on to next one

they unmounted all tv's in the whole shopping mall. that was one of the dumbest things I have ever seen.
>Just attended High School
>Everything is blocked in their shitty URL firewall
>Goolge "SOCKS prxy", since proxy is a blocked word
>Find shitty proxy and set it as the active proxy
>Teacher sneaks up and sees me on YouTube
>FUCK. Get sent to the System administrator "to get my punchment"
>Teacher told them I should be punished and asked me to explain what happend
>I told them what I did and we laughed around for a bit (Teacher didn't find it that funny, that face of her was awesome) and I left

Everything went better then expected and 4 years later I now use my own VPN. Ayy
being 12 years old is a wonderful time to be alive! ayy lmao
ayy lmao
Lol I did that.
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Every fucking time I tell people that I'm a software developer, they ask 'that's cool and all, but can you hack?'
>some anons post emails from our ministry of interior
>iTunes account from Interior Minister is posted
>iTunes PW is old private gmail PW
>try to reset the password
>question is literally how many children do I have
>shit I have our Interior Ministers gmail account
>don't know what to do
>posted it on an anon chat room
>shit I used no proxy
>one month later 4 cops do a house search
>literally the worst ever happened to me
>they think i'm the biggest l33t hacker
>take away all my computer stuff
>tell my friends my laptop is broken
>cops realised I'm not a hacker
>got it all back 2 months later
>tell my friends the story
>everyone is like "wow anon ur such a hacker"
>mfw I'm not
>mfw I just googled how many children our Interior Minister has
>6th grade
>broadband connection

underageb& pls go
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>be 14
>chatting to friend on msn
>"let me send you this funny picture I have"
>"ok anon"
>picture is actually a .bat that opens command prompt and lists all files on computer
>after the list there's a string of text that says "All listed files deleted. Have a nice day :)"
>friend thinks it's actually deleted all files
>immediately goes out and buys another £500 laptop
>back in year 8 (UK, about 13 y/o)
>some retard staff members sends an email to the entire school and doesn't bcc the entire staff distribution group
>being a crazy retard i grabbed a photo of the head teacher, drew some dicks on it using Paint and sent it to the all staff distribution group and all users on the domain

"Wow anon you're nuts! How did you do that?"

Heh, I didn't even consider myself good at using computers at that time.
>In high school
>Friend tells me about F12 in Firefox
>Spend entire period playing with my school's homepage
>One kid next to me knows what I'm doing
>Another kid checks the website to see my leet haxing skills
Fuck off, degenerate
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>be in 11th grade
>staff doesn't like people using the school's wifi because apparently someone was looking up porn or something
>lunch time
>everyone's outside eating except me, I'm still doing work alone in a classroom.
>teacher's computer is unlocked
>decide to go over there and get the wifi password to fuck with them
>you can literally just open the network settings and grab the password as long as you're an administrator
>leak the password next day
>everyone's on facebook and shit
>teachers pissed off
>students eventually find out it was me, but they don't want to tell the teachers because they're too scared that I'll do the same to them
Come to overly funded state school, start a PowerPoint assignment at a really young age. "Wow kid! Not bad work considering your age!" Proceed to watch a numbe of movies that teach me how glorious it is to be a hacker. Proceed to build such a reputation, look awesome as fuck to those plebs. Eventually become relatively good at hacking and shutdown a server, now considered the equivalent of Julian Assange.
>In Year 9 (14 y/o)
>Fucking French, but in computer room
>Talking to French students as a part of a shitty program
>Send a .bat, displays message about them being hacked
>Get grassed up, fuck them
>mfw I get called into head teachers office and stripped of all my tech, even my fucking headphones
>Get known as Hacker guy
>Help girl get Facebook back
>My first bj
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>be in 8th grade
>school computers all have some dumb required proprietary software that networks all the computers in the entire school district
>software displays all logged on users in the entire district
>discover I can message individual computers by looking up their login ID
>starting sending random kids in the class messages like "I'm watching you faggot"
>kids in the class making a little fuss about it
>figure out I can send messages to as many computers at once as I want
>send something along the lines of "Yo I fucked your mom, bitch" to every single computer in the school district
>every single computer in tens of schools received this message
>hear from friends in other computer labs at the time that our anal lesbian IT teacher flipped her shit when 30+ students all got that message
>even the principals computer got this message
>gets traced back to me
>generally an A student and only get suspended for 3 days

And that's how I became a minor legend in junior high. Worth it.
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>implying this ever happened

>be last week
>friend of mine needs help with her laptop
>night, not even interested in go to her house
>'ok, i can help and see what's the deal. do you have TeamViewer?'
>'what is that?'
>i proceed to guide her to install it, took like 10 minutes to her
>oh boy, another 0 knowledge bitch.
>she gave me the id and password, proceed to take control of the machine and work.
>update some shit, run ccleaner, AV, delete loke 5 toolbars.
>'OMFG anon, you're lika a matrix hacker'

>Same week (friday), in a party close to her house, she invites me.
>tells everyone how i 'nuke' (nuke, really) into her laptop, and i fixed everything
>everyone thinks i am a ruthless hacker
>tells some dude that deleting system32 is essential to run faster games and porn
>he actually does that
>everyone thinks I'm a cuckold for doing it for free at night

Sterilize yourself.
>A married idiot journalist harasses my gf on facebook
>Send him bait with my website, I'm a girl who wants to get into modelling.
>To see nude pics, you have to log in with google, yahoo, facebook etc...
>Forward a bunch of failed email flirts to his wife
I know that.
Suddenly all computers in the room shut down

Immunity script
shutdown -a
goto :Start
>calls network admin of building where i rent an office
>"hey can you put one of my boxes on DMZ i wanna test something"
>"hold on a sec, i'm gonna change my mac address and give you a new one don't use the one on your dhcp"
>*hangs up call*
gets letter next day from building management to cease questionable activities or have my office rental suspended
we're calling tech illeterate people 'normals' now? kek what are we fucking wizardtron?
>we're calling tech illeterate people 'normals' now? kek what are we fucking wizardtron?

I am Google Ultron
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