Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyy, there he is! Look who finally decided to crawl out of that cave, everyone!
>did you guys know Anon built a computer this year? Didn't even get it from a store, he just put it together, isn't that incredible? Guy's like a tech-genius, I swear
white people have such awful facial aesthetics
no wonder you're so obsessed with us
ironic shitposting is still shitposting
On this board we talk value and quality seriously for each and every post and thread.
>30 people here as I'm typing this
>mostly cousins who I don't know anything about
>had four beers before everyone got here
>had three more at dinner
>didn't say a word to anyone
>immediately retreated back to my office after dessert
look at this smug cunt, just waiting to bust your balls and make you sperg out
>"D-do you want to see my lithe scrotum?"
>"H-here" *unzips dick*
>"I brought dragon dildos and cumlube..."
>"I-if you want to routinely peg me... I don't mind, honest!"
So far I've re-flashed Android on two Nexus 7s, Shift+restored an iPad and an iPhone, and re-installed Windows 8.1 on a desktop.
All for family members,
all for free.
And it's not even dinner time yet.
I have a Kindle Fire HD "acting funny" and it's the one device I don't really know what to do with. Too scared to flash AOSP on it because my cousin actually enjoys Amazon's shit, so just uninstalling various apps and reinstalling.
Oh God. Brings back memories. When I was like 15 I used to lap up this attention. I thought I was a super le genius. I'd be sitting at the table, then kind of feign boredom, so would grab my pre-calc/algebra or whatever work and do it at the table. No one in my family is educated well at all so they were like 'WOW, anon can do math with letters, what a genius!'. Then I'd open the terminal on Ubuntu and run shit like cmatrix.
>At thanksgiving party hosted by uncle
>Everyone knows I'm the "nerdy computer kid" and brings their broken or glitched laptops/phones
>Ask if I can fix them for free
>After doing this for 5 years, I'm fed up, but come up with a plan
>"Sure, but I've graduated now with an engineering degree, and I'd like to be paid for my work. I can fix each device for $50 each."
>Surely, they will stop bugging me about this after such a ridiculous price
>"Ok anon, that's fine. You are a professional now."
>Fix 6 devices in 2 hours, get easy $300 and delicious thanksgiving dinner
>I just google'd problems on my phone
You just need to know how to scam retards. It makes holiday events so much more enjoyable, and profitable.
My parents and their friends are downstairs eating and talking and drinking, still.
They excused me from the table because I'm supposed to be writing a paper. But they keep yelling shit up at me, like, mocking me and shit. I don't know what the hell they're expecting from me. They're probably going to be here all fucking night too.
>thanksgiving last year
>entire family is eating at the table
>excuse myself and go into my room and fap to my cousin, who is 14, 5 years younger than me
>moaning her name
>walk into the dining room
>didn't realize my baby cousin was placed in my room along with the radio thing for parents to hear if their baby is crying and that the other end was at the table with everyone
>everyone's giving me the death stare
>run up into my room, throw the babby out, and lock myself in for the rest of the week
It's going to be a while for your family to rub that our of their memories.
One year at Thanksgiving, we had a large family gathering. Since there were a lot of people there, some of us had to use sleeping bags and cots and air mattresses and whatnot.
I ended up with a sleeping bag next my parents. Had a wet dream about my cousin that night. I think I hid it pretty well when I went to change clothes in the morning, but it still felt pretty awkward.
I hope I don't talk in my sleep.
>Hey who is this?
>Anon, he is our roommate
>I haven't seen him all day
>everyone stares at you and says hey anon
>I just turn around and go back to my room, and cuddle with my body pillow.
>becoming a porn addict who cant get it up for a real woman anymore
beta as fuck.
back in cave man days there were not enough women to go around. alphas would fuck the women and betas could only watch. so to quell their drive and desires they would watch and fap.
fapping is naturally beta, it signifies to your brain that your place in the pack is a beta watcher berrypicker.
it associates lack of work with sexual release.
sort your shit out anon
>tfw my family is just as anti-social as I am
Hell. I'm probably the most social in our family not counting my brother.
You just need a really dysfunctional family, anon
It works wonders.
>use to work at retail
>left at 8pm with house full of people
>hoping they will be gone when I get home
>come home at 4 am
>they are all still here
seriously go the fuck home you fucking social vampires.
congrats, you learned to masturbate. masturbating prevents wet dreams. nothing wrong with it, everyone does it, and it's something to do when you don't have someone to fuck or when the person you fuck isn't in the mood. disregard the retarded neckbeards who think that not masturbating and not having anyone to have sex with gives you magical powers.
Nah I don't think that. I was just under the impression that somehow wet dreams are like an inevitable fact of puberty and I just never had it. Now that I know that you'd completely avoid the incident if you masturbated early on I realize that explains quite a bit.
Eh. To me, blood relation doesn't matter as long as it's not a relationship that might turn unhealthy if sex is introduced.
You know, like Parents and Children, Siblings that stuff. A cousin is usually really unimportant to the growth of you as a person.
I'm spending this thanksgiving alone. I don't know how I feel about it yet. After me mum passed I don't really give a shit about holidays anymore. Just had a bowl of Campbells Chunky Soup. Meh. Kinda miss the food tho.
i'm under the impression that the partners in question take the incestual relationship seriously, which would eventually lead to having kids. but if it's just casual sex with proper protection, sure, why not.
>>did you guys know Anon built a computer this year? Didn't even get it from a store, he just put it together, isn't that incredible? Guy's like a tech-genius, I swear
Literally what happened to me not too long ago after I built my first computer.
you '/pol/' faggot. 'he' is the assumed pronoun in any situation because the experiences of the male in this world are on average infinitely more interesting and far more often communicated than any female's. get fucking real you little dumbfuck go push your degenerate gender-neutral bullshit elsewhere stupid faggot we hate you.
I know what you mean. I have like 2TB of porn and i regularly find myself just losing interest after masturbating quite a bit.
Once not too long ago I decided to look into the Asian massage parlor industry in my area. Turned out Asian prostitutes are really attractive (I live in a fairly populous area so maybe there's just good competition and hence higher supply quality). I've had sex with 3 of these women now and I fear that the rush of real intimacy is the only thing that gets me off anymore. The real irony is that all this porn that has desensitized me has also (I imagine) made it that much harder to relate to women.
I have plenty of female friends, but haven't had a girlfriend in a very long time, and I'm just cool enough to pick up a girl for a one-night-stand.
Today I was so close to calling a new girl up and trying to book an appointment with her, but I thought that wouldn't be a good precursor to dinner with my family. I guess in that light I'm not SO far gone, but still.
try again brah. the garbage i responded to is the only tumblr here. i put forth some good ol fashioned 4chan vitriol. ya dont like it, f*ck off to the gaming mouse thread you giant failure.
see, neckbeards just need a dose of reality and to take shit in moderation. masturbating forever is bad, but not masturbating at all and expecting yourself to turn into a poon-magnet or a wizard is also retarded. just focus on bettering yourself instead of masturbating 5 times a day.
You know, I should be more scared, but they insist on condoms so the likelihood of most STDs is pretty low, and as far as I can tell I haven't gotten any (which I realize might sound delusional given that I've had sex with 3 different prostitutes).
If it's not too presumptuous, from studying the "monger" forums for this stuff, the community is pretty tight-knit and there's an understanding that you ruin it for the rest of the guys if you give a girl an STD. In addition, you get blacklisted and stuff by the "mama-sans" (basically the pimps, but women).
I doubt it's a perfect system, but I haven't even gotten herpes (or to be more accurate, I haven't broken out in herpes), and that's easily the most common and persistent STD around.
>mfw this is the reason why I don't pursue bitches on craigslist too.
They're probably full of aids and stds that's why they have sex with strangers for free.
At first I'm sure my mindset was to masturbate until my dick got rubbed off the face of the earth, but now I'm just looking for the occasional stress release. I basically only masturbate when the tension of not getting any starts to get in the way of interacting with "co-workers" as people (i'm a grad student so calling them "co-workers" when they're really just other students is kind of wrong)
If you know you have AIDS and you have sex with someone without telling them, it's assault with a deadly weapon or something like that. It's a really serious crime.
Prostitutes have a very direct motivation. You give them a lot of money to spread their legs and pretend to enjoy you humping them. You're drastically overthinking this if you're looking for an ulterior motive.
it's just my SCHTAO, bro. just my schtao. god, how many times do i have to say that. are you not at least a little irked by that ">he" comment? so goddamn stupid. the scenario set up in the original post resonates moreso with males. it just does. that's the way of the world. so it's ok that OP used "he". it's ok and we all need to get used to gender-specific pronouns cause they're here to fucking stay and whoever doesn't identify with em is undesirable to humanity and an overall disgrace to the species
>3/4 of my grandparents are dead
>maternal extended family doesn't like my dad because he called my uncle a cunt (he is a cunt), and I didn't get invited to my cousin's wedding so fuck'em
>paternal extended family is only half-related to me anyway
>spending Thanksgiving with my dad, thinking of running to the mall tonight to watch people act like idiots for muh deals
This is actually my fetish. Weird as it sounds. Not just massage parlors my you know, prostitutes.
Shame I live in Sweden where that shit is hard as fuck to come by. At least for someone like me.
yeah, regular people go through the same process as they grow up. only people with brain problems don't change from that initial mindset of masturbating at every opportunity. and once they're addicted, they think the only way out is to pretend that not masturbating forever turns their dick into a pussy magnet or gives them magical alpha powers. spoiler: it doesn't.
For the longest time I found myself fascinated by the reviews people would post for prostitutes. In particular I found myself turned on by the descriptions of the clothing the women were wearing when they greeted the Johns at the door and every little thing they did from the shower to the bedroom.
I'm not sure if I'm turned on by erotic literature (I've never looked into it) or if it's the voyeuristic sensation of knowing that somewhere not THAT far from where I am there are people fucking these women exactly as I'm reading it. I strongly think it's the latter.
The photos of the prostitutes help.
Honestly, the whole thing is VERY much like Yelp, but for women. Maybe not as refined a website, but more refined than seedy Craigslist ads.
Ah yeah I wouldn't ever go for that. I think that's part of why a random hookup bothers me more than paying. As insane as this sounds, the business operation of prostitution is pretty client-friendly. Mongers talk and if one of them had to explain to their wives why they suddenly have herpes you can bet they'll tell the community whom they fucked and they'll get to the bottom of who to blacklist themselves. So yeah there's a huge focus on customer satisfaction (as seedy as that sounds).
after re-reading the posts, i think we both should feel a little retarded as we both slammed each other for thinking the other is being a politically-correct, feminist, tumblr-fag.
doesn't Sweden have craigslist, backpage or something?
I thought Sweden was liberal and would have some prostitutes openly offering sex over there.
I mean I was just walking down the streets of Brussels the other day and I saw plenty of prostitutes.
Depends where you live I'd assume. I live in California near the SF Bay Area so there are a lot of Asians. I've never looked into it but I'd assume it wouldn't be hard to find here.
haaaaa well it started with you, brah. i tried explaining that the post i was responding to was the one being tumblr-y. next time take a few extra seconds and read an entire sentence or two, will ya?
>doesn't Sweden have craigslist, backpage or something?
Nope. Closest we have to craigslist is mostly just for stuff like old cars and tables.
'>I thought Sweden was liberal and would have some prostitutes openly offering sex over there.
Nope. Quite the other way around actually. I mean, I've never once in my life seen a prostitute in Sweden. At least not what I know. The rules are also quite severe and the police goes after people quite hard.
Pretty hard I think. I mean, I haven't even seen a strip club in Stockholm. The sex business in very hidden here, and I assume quite limited.
I think you mostly need to be in those kinda circles to get in on the action here.
Not if you live here. Shit sucks.
>Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyy, there he is! Look who finally decided to crawl out of that cave, everyone!
Oh, hi everyone! Glad to see you all. *grabs a glass* Thank you this opportunity. Free software is the software that respects it's user's freedoms. There are 4 essential freedoms that each user of coputer should have.
and this is why proprietary software must not exist. Thank you for your attention.
If I've got enyone interested, I can gratis assist you with installing free software on your laptops or phones.
>that feel when I have a boyfriend
>only my sister knows
Okay choose one guys!
Sex with your mom or sex with pic related?
As an American, I can't help but relish in the existence of a political entity that is more extravagantly retarded than my own.
At least the GOP doesn't want to make hate crimes legal.
>re-installed Windows 8.1 on a desktop
>all for free
Enslaving your relatives to the corporations, and doing it gratis? What a monstous thing to do!
Only aggree to help with computers if they will have exclusively free software.
At least all of your families are nice, this is what happened to me last christmas:
>At my cousins, only my family, my cousins's family, and their drunk ultra-catholic grandmother
>Aunt asks me what i'm doing
>Tell her i'm writing some shit
>"Ohh, i do art myself, wait.."
>Comes back with three huge books of '''artsy''' photos of their holidays, make me watch all of them while commenting on how she used the light in this and that photo and who is everyone in there(not kidding, regular vacation photos, i don't know who the fuck she think he kids)
>2 hours later, middle of the dinner, drunk old lady keeps getting drunk, ask me what i'm writing about
>"Subjective creation of the world"
>"Oh, but that has been written a 1000 times, and none like the bible, anon! Better do something else with your life"
>Some time later drunk old lady see me refuse wine
>"WHaTs YoUr ProblEeeM anon?? Yo u Are too godo to drink? who do you think tyou kid??"
>Explain to her i just don't want to start drinking so early cause i'm going out later
>"PffffFf f i stArted liKe FicvE hODSUrs Agoo"
>Looks at me like she is asking for me to flip out
>Time goes by
>Someone brings a laptop with skype to chat with my uncle
>As soon as uncle appears he goes "ahahaha oh my god anon, you look like che guevara!" (was really bearded)
>"Whhat!!! AAAare yOu A commmunist?!?? Do Yo U NKNOw He kiklled a lot of PoePOLE???"
>Say "n-no, no... i just forgot to shave"
>Don't hear me, just shouts at the computer ""HEY CHARLSFLES DO YOU THINK THE APOCALYPSIS IS NEAR? THERE IS A LOT OF SIGNS LATELY!"
>Uncle can be seen cringing on the other side of the world
Luckily my uncle (mother's brother) was fucking her secretary, and my aunt kick him out really badly, so my family side with him, so no more Christmas there.
If I weren't suck a NEET I would love to move. It's fucking great living in Sweden don't get me wrong. Probably among one of the best to at least grow up in. But it's an incredibly boring country where every day you hear how it's going farther down the toilet.
Just out of curiosity. Which countries in Europe are the most growing and while not being bogged down in all the /pol/ hated stuff?
I keep thinking something like Switzerland.
Maybe I'll just move to glorious Finland one day.
They're expecting you to stop being a faggot, pretend to be done with your 10th grade writing assignment, and come down to sneak drinks when nobody is looking, like a real teenage boy.