So I just got my very first big boy job as an IT-Technician, who also sits in the HelpDesk twice a week. I've just started on my second week, and I'm already going conclude that my userbase is utterly retarded, when it comes to IT.
>Lady wants to make a folder
>It has to be send out on A3 in 200 copies, each for a different person
>She already has it ready in A4, in a 800 page long document, because she just imported all the data from an Excel list
>Told her it would be easier to just make a new template, import the data one person at a time, and print it out one by one, to make sure the format is not going to be fucked
>Nope, she wants to do it from that 800 page long bloated piece of shit
>Get the first two pages set up and reformatted, and told her she "just" has to painstalkingly go through every single page to make sure it's formatted correctly
>"Oh no, I don't have time for that. You do it!"
I just left her there and then. I was told from one of the other supporters, that it took her almost 7 hours to go through that shit.
So what do you guys work with? And share some stories from your job.
>work web hosting company
>customer calls in
>"I logged into my account and it says my password has expired and I need to change it"
>me: "okay.....and how can I help you?"
>"I dont understand what to do"
After 1 year, Ive confirmed its not that technology is hard, its that people are retarded
>agency has been consolidated.
>come in after consolidation
>previous programmer left things a mess
>each week get a call about some vendor database problem.
>Respond back that my job description doesn't provide cause for me to help with shitty ASP.NET application from 2003.
>Get put in huge room with mainframe programmers and other developers.
>Can't write Unit tests because it is not in our billing to include comprehensive testing.
>Ask what testing is supposed to be.
>Supposed to be me, because we don't have a QA team.
>Get asked to stand up GitLab server, spend some time getting everything working, send out emails, no answer.
>7 months later, "Anon, did you get that set up like we asked you to?"
>Realize that far stupider people than I are in higher positions and should need a daily standup to talk about their disorganized lives.
Oh god, had one of those yesterday...
>"Hey, how far back does my passwords go?"
>Uh, what do you mean?
>"I'm told to change my password, but I can't use an earlier one"
>.... You really shouldn't use something for a password, that you already have used
>"Oh man, but I just can't make up new passwords all the time!"
>Just use random combinations of things you already have on your disk, and mix in some numbers you can remember
>"Gee, you guys sure ain't making it easy for us!"
He then proceeded to spend 30 minutes making a new password, always ending up on 8 characters, then come complaining to me that his new password doesn't work, and that the system must be broke, despite me telling him every time, that it HAS to be at least eight characters long.
>I'm already going conclude that my userbase is utterly retarded, when it comes to IT.
... and the guys in accounting will tell you that you are braindead when it comes to managing your money.
And the guys in purchasing will tell you that you are braindead when it comes to managing your shopping.
And the guys in payroll will tell you that you are braindead when it comes to managing your income.
And the guys in marketing will look down on you if they ever notice you. (After all, just how much revenue to you bring in?)
You may be a big frog in your little puddle but there are much bigger puddles out there.
Remember, there are hundreds of dudes who could step into your job tomorrow and nobody else in the company would know or care.
application tech support, thanking god every day that I get paid so much that my company actually gets mad at customers when they call in for stupid shit
still get stuff like
>hey your application is on our webserver so uh, how do I set up a reverse proxy using [whateverthefuck], you guys cover it because it interacts with your thing!
>wah wah kerberos doesn't work
>something something websphere/weblogic
>how do I make a button blue
personal favourite recently
>dealing with kerberos case with a business user that knows jack and shit
>tell him to perform 4 tests, basically just a bunch of kinit bullshit to print out the contents of the keystore and key cache
>he forwards the steps to his "unix admin"
>"unix admin" comes back saying 'oh our shell doesn't have kinit you must have sent the wrong instructions'
>this motherfucker literally forgot to sudo
>send back "well sir if you'll notice the message is what commonly happens when you do not sudo the command, as your user doesn't have access to that command. What occurs if you use 'sudo' or attempt the command as root?"
>8 days of radio silence
>results of command sent back without comment
I will forever cherish the thought of what that stupid unix admin's face looked like when he read my fucking email
Support personnel feed off of complaining because people ask stupid questions that stick with you, but it's a great area if you're a bit ADD and like learning new shit all the time.
>hundreds of dudes who could step into your job tomorrow
>tfw I make my living off of people who believed this
In that case they'll just find some other bullshit reason to fire you and you'll be branded for life in the industry as the guy who mouths off to his superiors for no reason.
Doesn't matter if you're right or wrong. You NEVER EVER argue semantics with your boss.
>(After all, just how much revenue to you bring in?)
The company had an income of at least $600.000.000 last year. That wouldn't be possible if somebody hadn't set up their network from the bottom (our sysadmin), and if someone hadn't provided support for their users (us).
I swear to god dude, I even double checked before emailing him back to make absolutely sure that it wasn't possible to "not have kinit". There is a reason that there are quotes around "unix admin".
Fun fact in a previous email I had offhand mentioned that he needed to instantiate a TGT (BASIC fucking kerberos shit), and he didn't know what that meant. Absolutely certain he either lied on his resume or is in way over his head.
I.T. is bad almost everywhere.
> Exchange support. VERY large scale deployments
> Servers DAG's are set in 5 node clusters
> 3 nodes in primary DC, 2 in secondary
> DAG re-seed source is usually mounted copy, because replay queue
> Each cluster usually holds 12 or 24T of Exchange mail databases - 12 total DB's
> Each DB usually has about 600 users
> 35 - 55% of intra-site bandwidth is reseeds
> Enterprise SATA drives
> MFW "The application is redundant, so the hardware doesn't have to be"
> MFW "That drive is back ordered for the next 45 days."
I swear some of the architects are fucking retarded.
Also, it takes about 30 hours to reseed a 2TB mail store...
>"alright, I was able to change my password"
>me: "great, anything ELSE I can help you with?"
>"well..now I dont remember what I changed it to"
>me: *mute* "HOLY FUCKING SHIT"
new story (remember this is a website hosting company):
>"Hi, I bought this Windows-based shared hosting account, but I cant seem to get Minecraft server install on my account. Can you help me?"
>me: "Im sorry, what? You're trying to run a Minecraft server? On a shared hosting plan? AND you're calling into support to help you with this? Sir, this is not allowed on a shared plan and we arent tech support for Minecraft"
>"what? why not?
>try for 10 mins to explain why you cant run a Minecraft server on a server built for website hosting. he still doesnt get it and wants to talk to my Sup
>Put him on hold. Tell everyone around me what this jackass is doing, including my Sup. We all have a hearty laugh.
>get the guy back and tell him no, take his refund and go
Continuing from >>45643502
> 4 node Hyper-V cluster
> Hardware is old, but well configured (DL580 G5, 4x 7450, 256GB RAM)
> Cluster is shared storage configuration
> Tied to an older CX3 SAN
> All 4 nodes drop at the same time
> Anon - it was your job fix this. Why did it break?
> me - "A) I didn't set up this environment, and B) I was specifically told not to touch it under any circumstances"
> Anon - Well it's broken, so fix it, now!
> MFW SAN has been throwing drive health reports for months
> MFW SAN had two shelves (14 drives per) of 300GB 15K FCAL in RAID 0
> "It was redundant. That's why we created a cluster"
> "The last backup was 2 years ago, but you can restore it to previous day status, right?"
God people are fucking dumb sometimes. In the end, it took me 96 hours to get the data back, and we had to call in EMC and a data recovery specialist. Cost nearly $400,000. On the plus side, they let me build the replacement.
16 node DL560G8 (32 core, 768GB RAM) and VNX 5400 (100x 900G 10K SAS, 36x 200GB SAS SSD, 10GB interconnects)
And I got to keep the old servers, minus drives.
me again, since everyone is enjoying these
>"thank you for helping"
>me: "sure thing, have a good day"
>"oh wait, one more question! blah blah blah"
>"thank you for helping"
>me: "sure thing, have a good day"
>"oh wait, one more question! blah blah blah"
>"thank you for helping"
>me: "sure thing, ANYTHING ELSE SIR"
>"oh wait, one more question! blah blah blah"
>"thank you for helping"
>me: "sure thing, have a good day"
>"oh wait, one more question!">
>pretend I didnt hear him and hang up
fuck, do some research and figure shit out on your own. tech support is for tech PROBLEMS, not god damn FAQ because you dont want to read
>"hi, id like to go over the bills for my account to see what Im paying for"
>review his account. he's paying for a dedicated server, about $300 a month for a variety of features
>try to go over each one and it seems I have to explain in dum-dum terms what each thing does like "Extra Storage: 500GB" and "Extra RAM: 2GB"
>he gets confused and frustrated about not understanding and why he is paying for all this without knowing
>the account has been open for years. ask him why he wants to go over these now.
>he says he is the CEO or some meaningless title. tell him to speak with his IT guy or have his IT guy call us to go over these because its pointless if he wont understand what these are and if he even needs these features
>he gets butthurt
>"It was redundant. That's why we created a cluster"
>> "The last backup was 2 years ago, but you can restore it to previous day status, right?"
Haha, this. Happens all the time. Retard end user blames IT for a failing system that was up to them to configure.
This happened when I was working in tech support for Optimum Online, a shit-tier cable ISP in Connecticut that makes Comcrap look wonderful.
> customer calls in
> "I can't read the email from all of my email addresses"
> Help the customer log into their account via webmail
> "How do I read the email from this other account though?"
> Help customer log in to other account
> repeat multiple times with every account
> ask customer to further explain what the problem is
> customer wants a combined inbox
> offer to help set up an email client
> customer is angry
> "You guys told me I can have 5 email addresses"
> customer has 5 email addresses
> explain that and politely ask what the fuck
> "I have to log in to each one separately so it doesn't count"
> this is why I drink
It's not even end users. It's other senior IT people. The person that set this up was a systems architect.
I was just an automation engineer. I have no expectations from end users, but from other IT people?
>Blank outsourcing took over our IT
>I just started at company, projects tech analyst
>Large software company just audited us, $2M software bill
>Previous IT had forgotten to roll out licensing client software before they were laid off
>Large sw company gave us 2 weeks to get it sorted
>Blank fluffed around and blew the deadline
>Full payment now due
>Blank claims to have done their bit on time and denied responsibility
>I look at servers, no software was deployed
>Bring up with management, big meeting with lots of big wigs and techs responsible planned
>I set up projector and laptop, ask techs in meeting to show me a server where they deployed it
>They log in, show the script and smile
>I take over, show line in script with an error
>Manually run script, show error and that nothing installed
>GG blank outsourcing company
>TFW it clicked
>MFW their management realised
>MFW a week later we suddenly didn't have to pay the bill and other arrangements were made
>MFW I got sacked even though I saved the company millions
here's one that really makes me lose my mind:
>webhosting reseller calls in
>asks the most BASIC questions about how to do stuff like create email accounts for his clients
>he keeps calling in at least twice a day for a few days asking stupid shit
for the love of Zeus, why are you a fucking reseller if you dont know how to do anything yourself?
>customer's account suspended for non-payment
>cant verify user/pw for account. cant verify other question we ask. doesnt have access to email on file to send user/pw because its old
>still wants me to change the card on file, change the address, unsuspend his account because "Im holding his site hostage" and he is losing literally THOUSANDS of dollars a DAY
>me: "Sir, we're not holding your site hostage. You have failed to pay for services." Explain to him to fax/email his drivers license to verify him. he loses his mind
>"Let me talk to your supervisor!"
>me: "no. he's not going to be able to help"
>"what?! Im going to sue you then!"
>me: "You can take that up to our legal team, sir. But you have failed to pay for services so Im not sure how that will work out."
>he hangs up
>Infra is outsourced/managed by company X
>X completely fucks up a SAN migration
>On calls all week because devs and testers can't do shit
>Some stability restored after 2 days
>Manager X: "We'll keep it running and won't make any changes."
>Company Manager: "Ok, look you'll have a window in 2 months, its a critical phase of development."
>Environments keep going down
>Everything still breaking
>Mysterious logins from company X
>Two months later
>Company Manager: "You can start the migration again."
>Manager X: "ACTUALLY WE JUST KEPT GOING AND IT FINISHED YESTERDAY."
My fucking face when every external testing, user testing, production and all of the dev environments were going down at least once a week during this period and I was responsible for a lot of getting them back online.
I have one of those..
I'm head of Business Intelligence for a large company, and I end up making big decisions for some of the larger departments and carrying a few under-qualified individuals..
I'm quite senior in my company, and I had made several Dashboards etc for one of the partners, and was in the habit of attaching picture step-by-step how to instructions..
One time he couldn't open the pictures and I verbally explained what was in the pictures (literally 'Enter date here and click here')
Roll on 2 weeks later, he digs out the email and CC's several people with:
'Why was this not completed, we are not getting reports out from your department and i want to know why!?'
(On the email he replied on, it said 'Report can be found here.. name xxxx' )
He CC'd the CEO of the company, thankfully he's a bro and I said.. 'Please look at the email.. 5 lines down it says it's available and there is the time stamp'
Roll on 2 weeks later, I get the sorriest apology ever.. (basically 'I did nothing wrong, but I have to apologise' )
I'm used to dealing with complete fools in the company by now, but it annoys me no end
People are retarded when it comes to tech
>working at a skating rink
>Galaga/Ms Pacman arcade machine has error message on it
>stuck switch, big bold red letters "ERRORS DO EXIST"
>Don't own the machines so can't refund money, just renting the space out
>60-year-old puts 50¢ in
>complains that machine stole his money
>rants to me for 10 minutes that technology is the spawn of Satan
Anyone here ever have a job as an Implementation specialist? I was offered the role and here is the job description.
that will be responsible for setup, configuration, and end user training of our Client’s Cloud based POS system. These positions are 100% travel across the U.S. and are for an expected duration of 12 months Candidates can work out of their home base and will travel to and from the rollout sites which can be anywhere in the Domestic U.S.. Typical install can include the first day set up of training room at the customer site, download and populate the Database, training of the product. The 2nd day will include the removal of the old POS System, install of the new system, test & troubleshoot the system, provide ongoing support for the remainder of the day. Depending on the size of the customer, the duration will be longer or shorter.
To be considered for these positions, candidates must have a positive attitude and be customer oriented, service focused, and open to 100% travel across the U.S. Candidates must have a “Please the Customer” Attitude.
I recently installed a server and computers and networking and all that shit for a small office.
The only one there who could actually kind of use their computer was a girl in accounting.
She had to work with accounting software from 2004, keyboard input only, extremely limited capability.
I offer to install a new software that does everything better faster etc.
OH MY GOD NO I CAN'T LEARN NEW SOFTWARE I'M HAVING A PANIC ATTACK.
She spends ~20hours a month just copying MANUALLY data from the accounting software to a spreadshit.
People not only are stupid, they are secure in their stupidity.
Yeah no. I know a lot of incompetent people that have jobs in accounting or marketing or even managers, and they do just fine.
You can't be completely incompetent in IT because if shit breaks down there's an immediate shitstorm.
Skills matter in IT, skills don't matter in most other office jobs.
>accountant colleague (female) (on her day off) with a 19"-CRT 640x480 resolution, black borders
>i have to use her pc; put it on maximum resolution, adjust black borders
>finally acceptable working
>next day: get a call from my boss "we got a complaint about you, blabla bla, pc is destroyed, bla bla, you will pay for that with your wage, bla"
>go into the room of said accountant colleague, who sits there with a red head raging around "EVERYTHING IS DESTROYED, FIX THAT RIGHT NOW OR I SEND IN MORE COMPLAINTS ABOUT YOU"
>put resolution back to minimal 640x480 within seconds
>"there were black borders before, fix that too"
>i "fix" the borders, have to fight myself not bursting out laughing now
>colleague continus to rage as i leave the room
>3 weeks later: get a bad "review" from my department boss, "obstructive intervention in the field of work or whatever" so basically i held a colleague from working properly
i am still wondering how these people are able to put their underwear on in the morning
I had to upgrade OS for every computer in an office once. From WinXP to Win7.
Desktop of a 45yo spinster smelly hag was like this.
I explain that all of her files will be backed up and restored on the new OS.
She does not understand.
She says I need everything the way it was.
I explain that I can't "arrange" everything as it is now, but the folder Desktop will have everything that is now on her desktop.
>What is desktop?
She complained about me to her manager for losing her files. Try to explain to manager. He does not use a computer. Just tells me to do the job I was paid for.
I was so close to torching that building down with that hag in it.
I used to work support for a rather large ISP, it was my first IT related job
People were, as expected, extremely fucking retarded but macfags took the fucking cake
One guy had a working router and all he had to do was type in the WPA key but he refused to do it and demanded I send technicians over (against company policy, they only repair physical company-side line damage)
I refused and he told me how he has 6 macs that cost more than I can earn in a year and that he will get me fired and started insulting me
I just hung that piece of shit up, wish it was the only time but no, every single crapple user that ever called me up turned out to be an utter fucking retard
OP isn't that like beyond what you're expected to do as helpdesk?
I mean that woman basically wanted you to do her job for her while helpdesk is there to support applications trouble
what the fuck
well i dont know maybe she will experience problems with compatibilities, i dont know your workspace. but for example i installed openoffice for my parents and renamed the icon to Microsoft Word so they dont get confused
>apply to various companies with pimped up resume
>get lots of calls, lotsof phone screens in which I am all fake and cheery like a normy would be
>Go through my list of 100 interview questions and recite how I'd answer them
>Three or four interviews setup. Start going to them and do fairly well
>One morning take a really gruelling technical interview and then get sent directly to the HR office
>Middle aged lady with glasses and warm face has me come in and sit down
>Go into fake normy mode with a half smile and deadpan expression
>So anon, you correctly answered 48 out of 50 questions, most people don't get more than 30. The highest we have ever had someone score was 35.
>Send impulses to my cheeks to puff out and my neck to tilt randomly while I mutter "Oh that's interesting..."
>"Interests, Tennis, Raquetball, Swimming...". The back of my neck starts to prickle. Not like they can test me for any of those.
>"Three personal references, two from your home town, they must know you very well. Better than any of the other people you rubbed shoulders with the last few years in the big city" she says as she nods and smiles. I fake a nervous sounding laugh. She'll never know the third one is my cousin.
>She takes her glasses off, smiles and looks deep into my soul. Everything looks perfect anon, you can expect to hear from us in the next few days at your phone number.
any of the other people you rubbed shoulders with the last few years in the big city.
She knew. She had to. Six weeks later I'm still waiting for the call.
don't worry, m8, you get jaded super fast
I held a job like that for 4 years dealing with general public.
In a year at most you will be shitposting on /g/ while simultaneously solving these peoples "problems" in a monotonous, lifeless voice
>six weeks later
Why the fuck didnt you follow up, nigger? Good liar like you should have told them you got another offer but wanted to work for them.
Just keep waiting by the phone. They'll totally call you back
Working in an enterprise environment are like standing in the eye of a hurricane. You'll quickly notice the petty clique society, that the departments create between and inside themselves. They'll jump eachothers throats at a moments hesitate, all while you are seen as some kind of wonderkid, because they sure as hell can't do without you. It's fucking fascinating.
Yes it is. It's her fucking job to know how to use Word, yet she can only do the most basic shit. But hey, I learned something new, and they now see me as some kind of fucking prodigy!
>Get's new computer installed
>working one day stacking shelves
>called into the office
>"hey anon you're good with IT"
>"We need Microsoft Office for our new computer"
>have it pirated on hard drive at home
>tell them I can do it but it may take an hour
>"sure anon we'll pay you double for it!"
>sat in office for two hours installing office while they did work around shop
>mfw I got paid £28 to sit around for two hours
My boss, the sysadmin, has the patience of a saint.
We went to an extern department to set up some machines, and so I could say hello to the people there. Suddenly, the HR manager comes out and start yelling at my boss.
Her Outlook wasn't updating the mailbox anymore, and now she couldn't work. Turns out that the week before was the deadline for her to change her 90 day password. She claimed that she already had, but my boss could pull out the log files, showing that she had clearly ignored the heads up email, and then asked her what she had been doing for work in the last week, since she hadn't said anything before now. She just gave an half arsed answer and walked out. Her face was so fucking red.
> get job at software dev company
> 'oh, we think that you'll probably have to spend a week or two on support to get a grasp of what we do and how we work'
> we do need someone on support so when you've finished, if you liked it you may want to do it every now and again
> its horrid
> the companies single product is a giant bloated, broken mess
> constantly get people phoning me about pointless shit
> spend 1.5 months on support
Sitting there thinking 'I'm a capable programmer, what the fuck am I doing?'
Nothing pisses me off than customers who refute the proof of a fucking pcap file. Especially when trying to prove it's not the firewall isn't the cause of the problem and you got to lengths to highlight all relevant information.
>be on house call IT support
>at costumers house
(obviously i was polite and shit and didn't dropped fbombs and such)
>"my computer died, i had 6 years worth of irreplaceable photos of my family's birthdays and vacation trips etc there i need it back"
>sir, it seems the HDD is fucked, just give me your back up and i will cram it back into your PC when the new HDD arrives
>"I don't have a back up, just get it back from the old HDD and put it onto the new one"
>sir he old hdd is dead, gone, kaput, it sleeps with the fishes, i won't be able to get any data from it
>"I NEED THOSE PHOTOS IT'S 6 YEARS OF MY FAMILY AND KIDS AND HISTORY! JUST GET IT"
>oh god not another one of these
>i can send your HDD for attempted recovery, but there is no guarantee it will work and i can get pretty pricey (i gave him some numbers which i looked up online)
>"i don't want to pay that much money, i don't need the old hdd repaired, just get the photos from it and then you can toss it, i had 6 years worth of family photos there"
>sir, that is not how it works
>*some more of me trying to explain to him he basically pays for the attempted recovery or is fucked*
>"I want to talk with your supervisor"
They always fucking want to talk to your supervisor when you cant perform the miracles the ask of you
>supervisor tells him the same shit
>guy gets agitated as fuck MUH 6 YEARS OF PHOTOS BLAH BLAH
>i want so fucking badly to just tell him NEXT TIME BACK UP YOUR FUCKING PRICELESS DATA YOU IDIOT
>ends up with me leaving and he saying that he will call different IT support company when we aren't willing to help him
>get back in my company car and drive to the next house praying to god i won't get too many more of "them" for the rest of the day
It was a classic case of managers recruiting.
The people in charge only wanted the 'best person for the job' so they essentially fabricated a core dev role with the intention of telling the recipient that they'd be expected to do small amounts of second line support from time to time. In reality the role was pure first line support and never included any dev. In this way they could recruit a college educated programmer to do grunt work. The job spec and interviews were all lies.
Like all good programmers I'm socially awkward, introverted, I can spend long periods of time researching things, I require constant long periods of complete sensory isolation when working and I'm incredibly clinical when I explain things. I can't possibly think of anyone worse to do support.
I left after two months.
>I NEED MUH PHOTOS
>I'M NOT PAYING THAT MUCH
Christ people. I'm glad I'm networking master race and I don't have to deal with end users.
Amen brother , except if you work for a vendor , then you have to deal with some of the following:
A. Retarded admins that are belligerent and couldnt even configure a static route out of a paper bag.
B. Weird fucking shit that shouldn't happen.
C. Having to learn new tech very quickly (blah blah blah muh apps dont work through firewall).
D. Never ending stream of tickets.
not IT by title but in a company of 7 people I have become the IT guy. Thankfully the people in this company arent quite as inept as the ones described in some of these posts
things I have to say often (often is defined as one or more times a week):
>no, the printer is fine, you just need to be connected to the right network to print from it
>if you download to a temp file you need to use "save as" or it will save to the temp file
>no, clicking on the "print" button on webpages does not automatically print, it is just giving you a format that is easier to print
>we dont need new toner until papers start coming up with smears or missing bits, please just reset the toner to save money
there are a few other things that annoy me but the root problem cant be fixed so I put up with them such as helping people understand M$ office and having to remove viruses from every computer in the office
My boss was using common sense 2014 but he gets so much junk email it always tends to find a way back in so I had to install an actual antivirus+malwarebytes and explained to him that the warnings (with the exception of "virus found") that pop up are just trying to sell you stuff (avast) and he doesnt need to pay for it
I do have 3 servers I'm trying to figure out something to do with though (only 15 Mbps across the entire office though so it cant be a resource hog) the other 2 are used for a special algorithm based on TV commercials that can determine fluctuations of certain stocks
I've got a question /g/
I'm working at this company as one of the main IT guys (low level though) for a little while and they want me to inventory EVERY PC in the building. Minimum 300-400 computers that haven't been accounted for. They want me to go around to every one of them while people are working and take down stuff like the computer name, person using it and their domain login, department they work in, etc.
How would you handle this situation? I don't wanna have to run around to all these people while they're working and gather this information. I was thinking I could just send out a mass email to each department at a time with some steps to get the information I need and have them send it back to me. What would you do?
i do, of course he got billed, but i don't really care about that, since the money goes to the company obviously
but yeah he actually bitched about having to pay for me plugging the router in
I dealt with that all the time
Our line was free so sometimes I would spend an hour and a half installing a USB ADSL modem with a 80 year old grandpa
I actually enjoyed these calls, the oldtimers were struggling valiantly with their computers while I was offering hints all the while reading a book or a magazine
Best game ever, a 2d space rouge like. FTL.
That's what I feared.
I'm not socially awkward at all I'm just lazy. I guess I'm gonna be going around to everyone for the next few days.
Can't do it after hours because I'm a third party contractor charging by the hour and they don't wanna have to pay me more.
Well lads I've got two major CWDM fiber changes to make this week. It's time to say goodbye to sleeping as I try and re-order one of my rings.
I had one. Burned me out with the constant travel but the actual training parts weren't bad. Most people are willing to learn and have a good attitude. It's rare, but you do sometimes get a confrontational douchebag, so be prepared.
Biggest thing for being successful at it is to treat it as a people job, not a tech job. Humor is your friend.
this is what always amazes me. computers/hdds die in a home without any violent impact, yet people search for ways to destroy their cp-infested hdds filled with other illegal stuff and even then theres some guy in a laboratory able to recover some stuff if the drive has been treated with a hammer, a magnet and thrown into the lake
Only retards try to destroy hdds with a hammer and, if you have some equipment which can read those spinning round shits inside then you can recover bits and piece like you can from a torn up letter, so if you need the hdd kaput you need to destroy the data itself with an electromagnet or some shit like that
>I don't wanna have to run around to all these people while they're working and gather this information.
why not? i liked getting out of my usual room and getting in contact with some of the sheeples out there. its always fun
you could conceivably write a script that goes about writing dummy data to the hard drive over and over again, the more times you do it the better, but it can take a while and isn't necessarily non-recoverable
Error message our application threw the other day.
>customer: what does it mean?
Was anybody else shocked by the ridiculous amount of infrastructure build entirely on Windows server? there's very little usage of Linux in business at all.
no, he had never used a computer before working here a year ago.
he asks me how to print screen every few weeks. but never remembers.
anyhow, heres another one i jsut did. busy day
How do you deal with that shit?
I had to do some consultancy work once that was supposed to be technical but mainly involved having to show a room full of people how to do basic functions in excel. I nearly killed them all.
I'm only a IT Tech for a school, but holy shit am I glad we don't use a ticket system. I could fill the thread with shit
>English teacher rings up saying the TV isn't working
>Check TV input and cabled, all fine
>About to go to the PC
>"Oh I did turn the PC around so I could put a USB in the back"
>Nigga dey on the side it's an all in one.
>By turning it they'd completely bent the HDMI cable and pretty much snapped the connector, at least the port survived
>"Well we're going to have to get a new cable Mrs English Teacher"
>Explain we don't have spare 20m HDMI cables laying around and will have to order one
>"That's not good enough"
I have learnt to hold my anger internally in the years i've been here.
Plus I had to go into the fucking roof to put the new one in when it arrived god damn it woman,
>this sounds like something i would love to do. i want your job. im striving to do an apprenticeship in that branche here in germany, hopefully i will end up in customer support
What the fuck
>Hello my internet is not working
>Hello, please hold on a second
>router is synchronized
>no session is up
>ask him about the "Internet" light
>Okay this is pretty straightforward
>Okay, please open your browser and type in the following address, 192...
>Look, my internet isn't working
>Okay we'll take care of that in just a second but please type this address in your br..
>But I have NO INTERNET
>Okay but we just need to configure the r...
>BUT ITS NOT WORKING
>Look the router is obviously using default settings and on those the connection is up so if you could just
>Are you stupid or something? Do you even have an education? I can't type in any address because its NOT FUCKING WORKING
>Look, the way this works is that to get to the rou...
>I've had enough, I want to talk to your supervisor, who the FUCK are they hiring what am I paying for you're some sort of dumbass who doesn't know what he's doing, give me your supervisor right fucking now, you just lost your job boy
Looking back, that job was suffering, the above has happened at least 10 times, probably more
you guys are the WORST! it's your job to help tech illiterate people with your autist powers and you complain?
you are what's wrong in this world
selfish ignorant fucks
it's what lazy IT people like you do
Well it's not. You really think you get to sit around some qt3.14's computer all day and chat her up while you wait for the windows updates to download?
Nope, you fix absolutely retarded problems for obnoxious, retarded people, who make it seem like their problem is your fault, try to give you retarded advices about how to do your job, and the second you are done there you move on to another house, install their hw drivers, or clean their virus infested hdds and reinstall windows and get to do this all over again and again and then you go home exhausted and jack off while watching animu for 3 hours, just so you can go sleep after that, only to wake up the next day and do it all over again.
When i started this job i thought the same thing as you "wow this will be so much fun!" it is not.. oh god, it is not..
>you fix absolutely retarded problems for obnoxious, retarded people, who make it seem like their problem is your fault
and i would absolutely love that. i love when people are obviously wrong and i can just stare at them and say something nice. i love feeling better than others without letting them know. i love being cynic. that shit is perfect for me
>be a few years ago
>be at school
>teacher is turning the PC on
>its slow as fuck because it's old and full of shit
>"oh wow that's slow today!"
>"Must need to warm up a bit"
Yes, a joke, she then proceeded to explain how it helps her 15 year old diesel run better.
What else did she mean by that budday?
>Be me. 32 year old Infrastructure PM for a >major US company.
>Been here for 6 months. During hiring was >"promised" I'd be rolled over in 3 months. 3 >months became 6. 6 rolled around December >7. Had my recruiter start pushing. Found out >they're laying off PMs and paying lower->earning ones.
>I've earned 120k for 6 months to basically >manage about 10 projects which nearly run >themselves. Spent majority of days on 4chan, >Reddit, listening to music, playing Binding of >Isaac, Terraria, Minecraft, Dwarf Fortress and >Plug.fm.
>Have several job OFFERS (full thing) already for other companies. Last day of work is 12/30.
Feels good. Although I wish this turned full time. Looking to get engaged and married.
I thought thats what everyone did?
seriously, most of my engineering work is outsourced to chinese engineers that work for $7 an hour (a kings wage but I dont want them disgruntled)
OP is a german and is referring to German Industrial Norm (DIN) A3 and A4, all of which are the normed sizes of Paper available in Germany.
our assistant manager was cleaning out a back room and found a typewriter. she kept on insisting that typwriters are still relevant tech and insisted that we try selling it to recover the investment made 300 years ago when this thing was bought.
after weeks and weeks of posting it in many online classified ads and bidding sites such as ebay, it unsurprisingly did not sell.
the assistant manager, still insisting that typewriters had not gone the way of the vacuum tube had us go donate it to good will "because someone might want it!!"
upon reaching goodwill, they would not take it because, "no one wants these things and they don't sell then we have to pay a shit ton of cash to recycle it after its been sitting on our for sale shelf for over a year"
so I just drove around until I found a random dumpster and I threw it out, then reported back to the assistant manager that I had donated it.
the manager, she has no pc at home. no internet. no cell phone, and wants nothing at all to do with technology. she also gets extremely bitchy when she is forced to live in the year of our lord 2014 and use a computer to do anything, because everything these days is pc driven.
it sux b/c I can't just tell her to deal with it b/c shes the damn assistant manager and I would get fired.
of course not, supervisors aren't stupid, like every other retard asks to speak with the supervisor over some dumb shit, supervisors hate those cunts as much as you do and know their complaints are misplaced
typewriter videos give me the asmr tingles. i bet some hipster would spend a fortune on a typewriter. the sound is majestic
this videos is one of my favo(u)rites: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c-_S5Tt-gbw
It's a lot of fun. As a network engineer I get to be a programmer lite. We automate a lot of our stuff so I get to code a lot of fun stuff, but the projects are super small, mostly done by one person, and not as efficient or complex as a real programers.
Assuming you love the normal networking stuff. Also with networking you get to go out a bit more (which I like) so I don't feel like I'm stuck in the office all day. If you never want to leave the office, go programing.
Doesn't help you now but look into ZFS.
The way ZFS does backups is very efficient too. ZFS runs on commodity hardware and loves cheap disks.
Been in two IT jobs. They're fun as fuck. You work with geeks and not so geeky people. The key point is patience: patience with stupid fucking people you're helping. Other than that, it's great.
Why dont you both just get freelance jobs in multiple places and outsource it all to china?
In fact how many programming jobs do you think you could get where you work at home?
I have had no problem with my job, maybe it's because I'm in a small business though, we have around 50 users and I know most of them pretty well, they are all laid back and most of them barely know how to log in to Windows. I spend the majority of my days on 4chan, playing games and watching videos in the basement, barely get two or three calls a day and everything almost runs itself.
i worked as a web dev for the past 7 years from home and even though the free time was great (worked like 3 hours/day total) i was depressed a lot since i had no social contact nothing going on, i felt like i was wasting my life, just sitting on my ass all day, while moving nowhere.
>after working various odd jobs get hired as a code monkey for a big foreing company
>spent first couple weeks doing various certificates and educations, not a single line of code
>get assignment (some text processing stuff) due in 3 weeks
>finish it in a week
>"don't rush it like that, test it some more or something"
>test the code for a bit, find no issues
>derp and herp around for a week
>report exactly the same thing back in 2.5 weeks
>"Oh, you're early for the deadline, good job!"
>get new assignment, due in a month
>done in 2 weeks
>report in 3.5
>etc. rinse and repeat
Why haven't you told me about this earlier?
>Start job at oil and gas company as Jr Systems Admin
>My boss works in another city at head office, >I'm site manager of about three offices in my city
>Boss hires another Jr Systems Admin for head office
>new Jr Systems Admin really dosent know the first thing about anything
>He starts fiddling around with the default domain policy of the head office domain controller
>He changes the password complexity rule requirements to increase from 8 characters to 10 with symbols and numbers
>He force applies this site wide, it replicates to all other login servers and he tells nobody what he did
>Suddenly tons of helpdesk calls and emails from VPs and executives locked out of their machine and unable to log in to the VPN or access servers
>My IT manager is on an airplane and is freaking out because he dosent know whats happening
>I eventually I discover what happened and fix the problem
>New guy asks "Shit man, am I going to get fired?"
>"Nah man it'll be fine"
>Get an email the next day to cut off new guys network access because he was fired
fast forward a few months later
>Boss hires another new guy
>Hes been working for about a year in IT. Super autistic man child, sort of uncomfortable being around him. But since this is IT I'm used to weird people
>Last time I visited head office for a project meeting he invited me over to the woods at his house to shoot his guns
>No thanks, I'd rather not go anywhere alone with you
>A week later from the business meeting at around 10:00am the company network started timing out site wide
>Tons of complaints from end users and executives getting angry
>Check firewall logs and apparently the gateway is cool with someone throttling the network bandwidth
>Find out that the node is part of a firewall exemption rule for IT that allows unrestricted access to network resources
>Trace the IP to the new guys laptop in head office and discover he is streaming EVE online from his home
More? I got a bunch from this job. Pic related
How does an online game take enough bandwith to slow down an entire network? I thought they only took a few 100 kb/s max.
Was he streaming the game as a video from his home computer or something?
Now let's say I want to know some obscure information, like which is bigger... oh wait, I can't. Which is pretty much the only thing I could care about when comparing 2 sheets of paper.
I did not realize you could do that, I may have to do some research on something like that for my own use.
Unlike him I won't be caught as I am the only person with access to the firewall, it would also let me get rid of that virtual server I setup to play games off of.
I was worried about that until I did the math and found out that for the size of my company (bit over 30 people) it would be more cost effective to get a number of HL-3170 printers one for each department (so only around 5 people would be working on each) than a huge full office printer
I made a short instructional video on how to change paper types and how to make it duplex and now I can relax
except ledger legal and letter all have specific sizes and the sizes are well known by all that use them
and FFS who doesnt know the difference between the size of a legal document and a letter document?
>the sizes are well known by all that use them
Oh so your system only works when someone memorizes it.
>and FFS who doesnt know the difference between the size of a legal document and a letter document?
Once again Americans are awstruck by the sheer thought of existing coutries beyond their own.
>work in IT in a huge building
>getting call from some office above me
>"anon i need more space for my mail account, its almost full"
>ask him how much he needs, says 2Gb
>removed 2Gb existing emails, tell him that he has now 2Gb more space
he never called in again
Once someone opened a ticket and included a screen shot of the problem. Included in the screen shot was a customers social security number.
>mfw these idiots have all my information too and would leak it without a second thought.
That's about the worst on the raw stupidity scale, tons of simple stuff that I don't care to re-live.
>Lady calls saying that her hard drive is full
>wut, she's only working on text files
>she shows me the drive
>folders within folders within folders within folders
>all contain the exact same template files
>only some are working copies
>she saved templates of all the documents she would need
>copy over only the one that's missing?
>nope, let's copy over every single one, might use them
>repeat until disk is full
How some people can function is beyond me
so that is why our country is ahead of yours. Because we are willing to remember basic information.
what size paper would you write a letter on?
(thats all you need to know)
what size would you print lengthy documents that take up large amounts of paper but still need to fit in a standard sized file cabinet?
what size is a ledger? (this has been standard in the UK and US since before the US existed)
the only other named one we have is tabloid which is the same as ledger for the unwashed masses
the rest of them have obscure names but everyone refers to by the actual size
in fact most people know the size of letter is 8.5x11 and the size of legal is 8.5x14, and many people know ledger is 11x17
in fact here ya go, this is the standard size for USA and Canada (inches first, then mm, then ratio)Quarto 8 × 10 203 × 254 1.25
Foolscap 8 × 13 203 × 330 1.625
Executive 7¼ × 10½ 184 × 267 1.4483
Government-letter 8 × 10½ 203 × 267 1.3125
Letter 8½ × 11 216 × 279 1.2941
Legal 8½ × 14 216 × 356 1.6471
Ledger, Tabloid 11 × 17 279 × 432 1.5455
Post 15½ × 19¼ 394 × 489 1.2419
Crown 15 × 20 381 × 508 1.3333
Large post 16½ × 21 419 × 533 1.2727
Demy 17½ × 22½ 445 × 572 1.2857
Medium 18 × 23 457 × 584 1.2778
Royal 20 × 25 508 × 635 1.25
Elephant 23 × 28 584 × 711 1.2174
Double demy 22½ × 35 572 × 889 1.5542
Quad demy 35 × 45 889 × 1143 1.2857
Statement 5½ × 8½ 140 × 216 1.5455
A 8½ × 11 216 × 279 1.2941
B 11 × 17 279 × 432 1.5455
C 17 × 22 432 × 559 1.2941
D 22 × 34 559 × 864 1.5455
E 34 × 44 864 × 1118 1.294
I want to start calling paper by their decrepit names
>walk into FedEx/Kinkos
>"Yes sir, I would like a full ream of pamphlets printed on foolscap vellum"
>"oh, you dont have foolscap, well then I guess a quarto will do. I would also like a Demy poster and an elephant post, but I swear if you gyp me and try to pass of a royal for an elephant I'll have your hide!"
> Be me
> Be a student in an engineering school in France
> Something like two weeks ago
> Teacher wants to show us something
> She pulls out her macbook
> Plug in VGA port
> There's HDMI too but it's okay we're used to it
> It doesn't work
> The video projector doesn't turn on
> Her MacBook doesn't recharge
> The power strip isn't plugged
> I tell her
> She plugs the fucking power strip on itself
> Then she goes back to her macbook and starts wondering why it's still not working
> She asks for help, I get up and plug properly the power strip
> She gets happy because now it's working
Goddammit, most of the time a teacher wants to show us something with the video projector, he ends up doing retarded shit.
> English teacher from south africa wants to show us a TBBT episode
> He inserts his blu-ray disc
> Plug in VGA
> Display is in extend mode
> He doesn't understand why it's not the same desktop as on his screen
> He starts moving every icon so it appears with the video projector
Teachers in my high school equivalent who used macbooks were issued with a VGA adaptor to interface with projectors, and even then many of them have to rely on students to unfuck the projector if nothing works.
Nowadays they use some convertible Fujitsu lifebook thing instead so they can write equations and shit during lectures.