>be walking along the town
>some uppity Christian fuck was preaching his bullshit to me like I'm some fucking peasant >murder his wife and children
>make him fight a lion at the Coliseum
>does surprisingly well
>yell "UNLEASH THE TIGERS"
>all three eat him
>Good Romans died fighting off gallic invaders from the steps of Rome itself
>Weak willed faggots descended from the men cowering in fear instead of fighting want to open the gates to them
hey faggots, just checking what you up to. I hate every single one of you by the way. I hope the Seleucids destroy your stupid republic, at least before they eat my arrows lol
Enjoy walking with your feet, I piss on your marble lol
Its Cicero and Antony m8. The OP cropped it badly.
>mid-coitus with slave boi
>slave comes in and says there are two men at the gate
>oh Jupiter, its the collegia
>put on robes and march out of room
>I swear I paid them my dues
>see the two men at the portal
>"Hello I'm Paul of Tarsus, do you have time to talk about Jesu--"
>go back to my slave boy, get other slaves to shoo them away
>interrupted my session for this
Christians. I wish we could feed them all to the lions.
Daily reminder that this was the best Dictator we ever had.
this desu senpai
but qvintvs was pretty based too
/his/ is quickly becoming a more substantial board than boards that have been here for years
anyone else thing the republic started going to shit due to these two?
>mfw my faggot emperor makes me stab the water and collect sea shells
Is this nigga serious?
Its the Year
get with the times
We Roman men most fight against these Franks, goths, jutes, anglo, saxons, alamans, these people are dirty and their languages are abnormal.
We most fight against armed Ladydry trying to undermine our Roman way!!!
We will build a wall a wall in Britania and we will make the Picts pay for it
WE WILL MAKE ROME GREAT AGAIN!!!!
Not a Roman but a Greek.
Should Greeks be considered honorary Romans?
Oh hey, its "guy that refuses to admit Rome/greece were western"
We will destroy those vile carthaginians
And those Easterner the Huns
Place your vote for Donaldolvs Trumpivs at the forum
Vote for Donaldolvs Trumpivs 475 AD
Go for it bro, the barbarian cavalry is shit, how can they possibly penetrate the testudo?
lol, what are they going to do? feign retreat and somehow still manage to fire arrows back? maximus kekkus
MY GRANDFATHER FOUGHT AT MAGNESIA AND ZAMA
MY FATHER RODE WITH SULLA
AND I AM REDUCED TO THIS
UNHORSED AND SHITPOSTING ON /HIS/
A fine Joke for you men of Rome
A man, standing before a censor, is about to testify, whether he has a wife. The censor asks:
>Do you have, in all your honesty, a wife?
>I surely do, but not in all my honesty.
Some provincial man has come to Rome, and walking on the streets was drawing everyone's attention, being a real double of the emperor Augustus. The emperor, having brought him to the palace, looks at him and then asks:
-Tell me, young man, did your mother come to Rome anytime?
The reply was:
-She never has. But my father frequently was here.
Guys you really should check out this book called The Aeneid.
It's not an order or anything but you should also tell your friends/family/neighbors/people in the street/slaves how much you love it after you finish reading it.
>the look upon my face when people honestly believe into Cassius' horse-droppings
That man is nothing but lies and slander- I think he could possibly be envious of our great Caesar.
WE ARE GOING TO BUILD A WALL AND MAKE THE CELTS PAY FOR IT
>an hour-long speech later
"oh btw carthage a shit"
Yov gvys catch the latest reenactment of Cannae? They had a Nvbian playing Scipio Africanvs! This shit has to stop
Can someone explain to me what the obscaenum Hadrian is doing with his wall?
We're ruling over the greatest extent anyone has ever ruled. Why in Tartarus are we not rolling the legions over that silly little bit of land there? How many barbarians can there be?
Same reason we don't roll over Germania. Nothing of value up there except some sheep, hills, and a bunch red headed barbarians that would rather eat their own shit and settle trivial disputes with duels to the death than be of some use. Even the fucking Iceni weren't as bad as them.
Zama was a fraud! No wonder Cato thought Publius Cornelius was a spoiled little patrician shit.
This has been bothering me the last two days, think about!
Scipio Africanus supposedly had experience fighting elephants...
Hannibal lost his fucking elephants to inclement weather at the very beginning of his invasion into Italy after Trebia.
Sure Scipio was there to see that battle, but it was over 15 years before Hannibal used elephants again!
Provide the mosaic, barbarian.
Some of you plebs are alright, don't come to Carthage tomorrow
My fellow Senators, what the hell is our boy Emperor doing? Dressing as a woman, sex parties, desecrating our Roman Gods? This boy has also broken the law of vestal virgins by taking one as a wife! Although I have heard rumors that he claims to be the "wife" of Hiercoles. My fellow county men, THIS CANNOT CONTINUE!
Why don't we just conquer the eastern barbarians like Alexander the Great? Surely we can outdo those Macedonian manlets.
Daily reminder that the proscriptions never happened.
It's a hoax created by the Samnites to install sympathy in their movements to control the world!
Wake up sheeples!
>Recieve letter from the Emperor summoning me to the Senate
>Letter contains that he is transferring powers of tribucian to me
>Emperor is so nice
>make my way to the Senatorial Hall
>congratulated by all
>Great day to be head of Praetorian Guard
>ceremony is dragging on
>ok Crassus, nobody gives a fuck about Judea
>fuck I want to return to my post
>MFW my fellow compatriots turn on me
>MFW should have listened to Brutus earlier >>48621
>MFW I take a swan dive of the gemonian stairs.
Some possible greentext from the future
>Be me senpai, sad lonely primitive in year 2015 desu
>wake up, rub chemicals on skin to clean, wash off with water, stuff processed food in mouth for nutrients.
>Faulty genetics cause shitty memory. Make me forget til last moment I have work.
>tfw no fully automated workforce or post-scarcity economy, need to do physical labor to survive.
>take my fossil fuel burning death trap to the McDonald's where I work.
>See physically attractive female
>too unintelligent to properly associate. Monkey instincts cause hormones to fuck up interaction.
>Get assaulted by roving feminist and ISIS raiders
>They've destroyed the world trade center for the 5th time that day
>Go home and watch reality TV and check Facebook
>tfw your account is hacked because no quantum encryption
>Stuff my face with more processed food.
>Take death trap to night classes
>Get shot by crazy guy with gun
>Go to barbaric treatment center
>Die of bullet wound to heart because no bio-mechanical cellular regeneration implant.
>Still get charged $100,000,000 currency because no insurance
>Get buried in ground to satisfy great cross guy, local druids put stone over me.
>mfw mods are actively pruning /pol/ tier threads
/his/ is going to be great, boys
>I was only a boy of 9 years of age
>I loved Plutarch very much. I had all his essays and plays
>I pray to Dii Consentes and offer them sacrifices as a means of extending my gratitude for the life I have given
>"Plutarch is Love" I say, "Plutarch is Live"
>My dad hears me and calls me a faggot
>I knew he was jealous that all my devotion was geared towards Plutarch instead of himself
>I called him a cunt
>He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep
>Im crying now, my face hurts
>I lay in bed and its really cold
>A warmth is moving towards me
>I feel something touch me
>I am so happy
>He whispers in to ear, "This is Chaeronea"
>He grabs with his powerful greek hands and puts me on my hands and knees
>I spread my ass cheeks to Plutarch
>He penetrates my butthole
>It hurts so much but I do it for Plutarch
>I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water
>I push against his force
>I want to please Plutarch
>He roars a mighty roar as he fills my butt with his love
>My father walks in
>Plutarch looks him straight in the eye and says, "Its all greek now"
>Plutarch leaves through the window
>Plutarch is love, Plutarch is life
>spent my last denarii to see the fight
>bet on a scutarius cause guy looked like he could win
>fucker couldn't even lift his shield
>some other guy kills him minutes later
>slices his arm, throws it right at me
>mfw my only clean tunic is now all bloody
h-hold me bros ;_;