So, when i was younger (17) my cousing (21) used to abuse me ina very rough way. We were close, i looked up to him since i was an only child, after that, i was disgusted with myself, i felt pretty bad about it, and i never told anybody. That was until i reached 20, now i just remember it and get horny, is that nornal?
Did you experienced something like that?
Also, incest thread.
I still see him on holidays, we pretend nothing happened.
I felt guily because i never thought about being with a guy before, i was pretty naive, and i thought that my family would punish me if they ever found out.
Of course they dont know anything, but as time passed, i started to be able to live with that memory.
That's good. Better than hating yourself and having mental issues because of it. Maybe, if you feel brave enough, adress that with your cousin. He might feel bad about it now, and it would be good for him to know you aren't too mad at him now.
OP, m8, this is /hm/, not fucking /soc/. Post something fappable or don't post at all. Now tell us all about some of your encounters with said cousin or share some porn.
Totally normal to masturbate while thinking about the abuse. It is in a part a way of processing the information while maintaining a safe distance. Also, sex is designed to feel good. Even abusive or unwanted sex usually still causes arousal and orgasm in the victim. Part of your sexual make-up includes violence. Find a counselor (usually colleges with med schools and large state or private mental health care facilities will have a free or very low-cost out-patient program). You will need professional assistance. In the mean-time, know this: Your feelings are valid. Thoughts are never wrong - only actions are. It is okay to feel crappy. Let yourself off of the hook; you've done nothing wrong. Good luck!
Oh yeah coz you're so holy you practically have a halo above your head. I bet you've never gotten off to anything considered even slightly morally objectionable.
GTFO and take your judgmental high horse with you.
>fooled around with my cousin several times when we were kids
>nothing major, just jerking each other off and trading clumsy attempts at oral, typical early-puberty experimentation shit
>he initiated it the first time, seemed to enjoy it as much as I did even though he obviously felt guilty about it
>I also felt guilty about it, but was horny enough to initiate it with him several more times after that
>he was more reluctant each time, eventually stopped letting me badger him into it
>guilt and awkwardness caused us to start avoiding each other entirely
>few years later, I start coming to terms with my sexuality
>feel increasingly guilty about the whole thing, worry that I basically molested him
>my guilt wasn't helped by the fact that he seemed to turn out completely straight, given that he was apparently very popular with the ladies
>several years later, we're both going along on this big family trip for the holidays
>first time I've seen him since I came out of the closet a few months before
>instead of awkwardly avoiding me like normal, he acts very friendly and spends a lot of time with me
>I'm too dense to figure out that he's flirting until he finally gets me alone and starts aggressively feeling me up
>I end up sucking him off right there, and later that night he fucks me for the first time
>we spend the rest of the trip sneaking off to fool around every chance we got
>turns out he's a huge repressed closet case, and was really worried that he'd "turned" me gay when we were younger
>mfw all those years we could've spent fucking if we'd just been less awkward about the whole damn thing
I had a weird first experience, I would call it bad, at 16 with someone much older than me. I later learned that I had to embrace the parts of it that felt good to me. So, I incorporated it into my masturbation fantasies but eventually changed it to my scenarios. First, imagining it felt good. Second, just accepting it's part of my sexual make-up, in a sense.
Also, I'd like to say that gay cousin stories aren't that shocking to me.
Give me immediate family, please.
>I'd like to say that gay cousin stories aren't that shocking to me.
Same here. Cousincest is pretty damn mild, as far as taboos go. I mean, it wasn't that long ago that it was still socially acceptable for cousins to marry (still is, in some places). And I get the feeling that it's still pretty normal for cousins to fool around, especially when they're younger--it's just one of those common dirty little secrets that nobody likes to admit to.
Incest being immediate family is a whole different level, of course--though it's also one of those things that is a lot more common than people like to admit, at least according to the studies I've seen. Cousinfucking is mild enough that people sometimes joke around about it in a semi-positive manner, but sibling incest or parent/child incest? That shit is so taboo that nobody will ever, ever admit to it, except in the context of them having been abused.
Pretty much this.
>used to fool around with my brother all the time when we were teenagers
>it naturally tapered off as we got older and eventually stopped completely
>we have a totally normal/healthy relationship nowadays
>our sexual history together is just an awkward topic that we usually avoid bringing up except as a mutually-embarrassing inside joke
>always felt a bit guilty/embarrassed about it (especially at the time), but it was a pretty positive and enjoyable experience overall
>don't feel like it's a big deal at all, it was just horny teenage experimentation after all
>but literally every person who I've ever opened up to about this IRL (mostly boyfriends) has reacted with horror/disgust/disbelief
>several have even tried to convince me that I was "molested" or even raped (lol no)
>welp, so much for being open and honest about my sexual history
I have an ex who admitted that he "used to experiment" with his older brother. I was totally cool with it. Actually thought it was kinda hot. Until I later found out that "used to" actually meant "still secretly am" and "experiment" actually meant "regularly fucking and carrying on a complicated and semi-romantic relationship". So yeah.
The real kicker, honestly? If he'd just been upfront with me about it, instead of going behind my back until I caught on? I think I probably would have been okay with it. Hell, I probably would have tried to score some hot threesomes out of it. I'm open-minded as hell about sex/romance stuff and not at all the jealous type. But I can't tolerate being lied to like that.
He was basically your typical brown-haired twink. Short, kind of an average face, but had a great body and a bubbly personality. Surprisingly well-hung for a guy his size, too. Pretty much a plain but cute boy-next-door type, I guess?
Not gonna share his real pics (I'm still a bit pissed about the whole thing, but not pissed enough to possibly out him on such a potentially life-ruining secret), but pic attached is the closest resemblance I see in my porn folder.
His brother looked pretty similar, basically a taller, more masculine version of my ex. Also hung like a damn horse, judging by the pics and texts I found snooping around on my ex's phone. Couldn't compete with that, I guess.
This srsly doesn't turn you on? Abuse, humiliation, power dynamics, incest, sordid affairs gen, bestiality, etc. do nothing for you? Do people like you actually exist? What do you fantasize about, sex in the missionary position for the purpose of recreation under holy matrimony?
"Don't do anything sudden," he directed. "Just keep her pointed
straight and follow the path." I was so excited. I was nine years
old...and I was "driving" a tractor. Truth be told, Grandpa Ira was in
total control, but he made me feel like the luckiest kid on earth. After
twenty minutes or so of somewhat erratic rumbling, we arrived at the edge
of the field. Grandpa took over again and eased the loud machine to a
stop. We climbed down and Grandpa started looking along a fence row for
something. Soon he found his target – some butterprint. He pulled out
the weed and showed me what to look for. He told me that we needed to be
sure to get all the roots. The field we were weeding was planted with
corn. By early July, the corn was up around my Grandfather's waist. But
that was almost over my head! We walked up and down that field, searching
each row for the weeds. I was elated when I found some and Grandpa helped
me pull them out. The late afternoon sun was very hot, and there was no
wind at all to relieve us. Soon we were both sweating profusely. I wanted
to take my shirt off, but Grandpa said that corn stalks would likely cut
me. So we walked on and on, pulling weeds and sweating. Finally we came
to the end of the field. I was tired, hot, sweaty, and dirty. So was
Grandpa. So much so that he suggested we both take our shirts off. "Time
to head back", he said. "Let's mount up."
Again I sat in his lap and steered as he worked the controls. But unlike
last time, he had me put my legs outside of his, spreading them wide apart.
The vibrations of the roaring tractor and the wind from our movement felt
good. I was concentrating on keeping the tractor pointed straight ahead
when I felt Grandpa's sinewy fingers slip beneath the waistband of my
shorts. Just then the tractor hit a rut and with the bounce, Grandpa's
hands were right on my little penis and testicles. He did not move them,
and I did not complain. Just the opposite. I actually thought his hands
felt very good the way he was touching me. The rumbling vibrations of the
tractor were being transmitted directly from his fingertips to the edges of
young ball sac. Then he moved his finger slightly as if to find the outline
of my tiny almond shaped testicles and caress them gently. My cock
involuntarily hardened. I sucked in a huge gulp of air. "Keep your hands
on the wheel and keep us pointed straight" he said in my ear, as he slowed
the tractor down. His hands were now all over my genitals, rubbing, and
stroking, caressing, feeling. It felt really good...so much so that I soon
shook in what I now know was a dry orgasm. Grandpa helped me cum for the
first time, right there on his red Farmall, in the blazing hot afternoon
Illinois sun. And I loved it. I let go of the wheel and leaned back
against his naked chest. He pulled his left hand from my shorts and
grabbed the wheel. When he did, I felt his swollen cock through his
coveralls, pushing against my nine year old butt. Grandpa shifted the
tractor into neutral, and revved the engine. As the vibrations increased
he pulled me tight to him and ground his hips into mine until I heard him
gasp three times deeply. He slumped just a little in his seat, and then
started the tractor again. Only once we were back in the corn crib, and I
had dismounted, did I notice the wet stain in the groin area of Grandpa's
Before I could say anything, Grandpa told me to run and tell Grandma that
we were back, and that we needed clean towels for a shower, and to meet him
by the pump house. It seems that Grandma did not like Grandpa carrying all
that field dirt into the house, so he had rigged up an outdoor shower
shielded from the dirt road by the pump house. He had painted a 55 gallon
drum black and mounted it up on a stand so that when it sat in the sun all
day, he had an ample supply of hot water for a shower at the end of the day
without running a hot water line out from the house. I returned with a
stack of clean towels. Grandpa was already under the shower, naked.
"Let's get those dirty things off and get you clean," he said
matter-of-factly. So I stripped off the filthy shorts and got under the
warm water naked with him. It felt great. Next thing I knew, Grandpa was
lathering me all up. He scrubbed me everywhere, paying special attention
to my hairless cock and balls. Unlike on the tractor, where his touch was
limited by my shorts, he now had access to every part of me. He stroked my
small penis hard and worked it back and forth between his bony fingers. He
gently cupped and caressed my balls, while his fingers massaged the bulge
of my prostate. He leaned down and kissed the top of my head as he
continued manipulate my soapy hairless groin. I reached out and threw my
arms around his muscular thigh. This put his genitals right in front of my
face. I could not take my eyes off his seventy one year old penis. Unlike
me, he was uncircumcised. And although flaccid, his penis looked like a
tree trunk to me. His balls drooped heavily in their hairy sac. His pubic
hair was all gray and white, like the little remaining hair on his head.
Grandpa continued to stroke and play with me until I shuddered again with
the most exquisite explosion of pleasure I had ever felt. I panted and
gripped him tighter as the warm water continued to cascade down.
After I returned to "normal" Grandpa stood erect. He carefully rinsed me, even
lifting me up and holding my spread legs directly in the spray, making sure
the entire region between my legs was soap free.
After dinner, Grandpa asked me if I'd like to watch the baseball game with
him. His beloved St. Louis Cardinals were on his black and white TV. Sure
I said, and cuddled up against him on the couch. Grandma didn't care too
much for baseball, so she went into the other room to sew and listen to the
Gospel hour radio. Whenever he'd watch TV, regardless of the temperature,
Grandpa Ira would always pull up a thin afghan that Grandma had made. This
night was no different. He covered us both. No sooner were we covered
than his hands began feeling me. I liked the feel of his hands on my body.
He did not move toward my groin, but primarily played with chest, nipples,
and belly button. It soon became apparent that I was falling asleep.
Grandpa uncovered us, and we headed upstairs, stopping to kiss my Grandma.
She asked if I wanted her to tuck me in, but Grandpa said he'd take care of
it. She nodded and kissed me goodnight. Grandpa and I went to my room,
where he watched as I changed into my pajamas. Now there was no air
conditioning back then in the farmhouse, and the room had to be eighty
degrees, even with the windows open. As I crawled into bed, Grandpa pulled
my pajama top off and said "It's too hot for that." I nodded in agreement.
He then read me a story. I was still sweating, so he pulled off my bottoms
too and said "It's so hot you might as well sleep the way you were born."
I smiled up at him as I again felt his leathery hands caress my body. It
seemed that there was no part of me he did not touch. Grandpa loved to
play with my balls, and the more he touched them, the more I liked it.
Just like earlier in the day, I sprouted my small erection. And just like
earlier, Grandpa continued to manipulate me – tugging, stroking,
caressing – as my breath came in shorter and shorter pants. Grandpa
watched my body carefully, his eyes glowing. He licked his lips as my
muscles tightened and the tidal wave of pleasure washed over me again. I
shuddered and jerked in my third orgasm of the day. Grandpa was so gentle
and loving as he brought me off that it seemed that absolutely the right
thing to do. I fell sound asleep until morning.