i know just the girl who can take care of you
Is that Cedric Yarbrough on the left?
Talk shit get hit nigger
That doesn't change the fact that FN FAL is best raifu.
G3 is also acceptable.
That hurt, anon.
We are rare. I'm a fucking zebra striped Alicorn in milsurp.
I'm starting to run out of Rhodie content.
I'll just leave this here
The STG 58 is the best Austrian raifu.
There might be more rhodesia anime art with MGSV so keep an eye out
Look, it's the faggot that likes toy guns.
Shigu-chan best raifu.
look at this faggot
he thinks that a country with little to no warfare experience could design a good rifle
okay so I know you guys think this is funny and a joke and all but I am actually attracted to guns and vehicles and i kinda feel like the joke’s orgins got lost, but it’s a real thing, and wiki even has an article on it- Mechanophilia
I don’t really know how to describe it to you, because mechanophilia like all fetishes kinda varies from person to person. Most people are just attracted to one type of vehicle or device, and that’s how I am to a certain extent, but I also kinda interpret the thing as a girl sometimes if that makes any sense
like, if i see one of the upotte girls, i look at them and imagine them as vaguely combined with the guns they represent- not in the way that upotte did it where say, the sights represent their eye shape/color or whatever, they’re literally combined with the gun in a vague, non conformist way. Like i imagine a girl’s hand guard to be her “bra/boobs” and in taking the handguard off i am groping her or removing her clothing. I can’t really describe the way it looks in my head because it’s technically impossible- like if it take my SCAR-L, and remove the handguard, I’m not sexualizing the gun strictly speaking, nor am I only imagining undressing a girl who is a personified weapon, i’m seeing it both in front of me, simultaneously, like the imagined is grwoing out of the real thing, i know that doesn’ t really make sense but that’s just what fetishes are, they’re weird
there are a few things which I find attractive in their base mechanical form, like for example some planes like the A-10 and P-47. People allways say the a-10 is ugly, but I don’t really know why, i allways thought it was cute, sort of like an asian girl. I also like the Spitfire too. It has cute wings.
I don’t really like alot of the /ak/ stuff that gets done because the girl and the thing she’s derived from seem separated- I don’t like kancolle for this reason because it’s just a girl in weird gear. This is also why I don't like the gwg threads-its just a chick with a rifle, so what? I always prefered art where parts of the machine were closer or kinda “combined” with the girl like pic related.
Because of my affliction I haven't been able to really find anyone I can love on the physical level. I do however volunteer at things like museums and airshows. This can get a little weird though. I remember at one time I was servicing corsair at Oshkosh and got pretty heated up. In retrospect it was pretty silly for me not to expect something to happen, their full wing is so beautiful. I had to excuse myself to the bathroom after an hour and then come back.
I was however able to convince a few girls I dated to wear earnings that to me looked like plane parts. That was one of the only reasons I was able to finish up properly.
>a country with little to no warfare experience could design a good rifle
The AUG was designed by Austrians. The Austrians are like, really really bad at doing war. The Austrians are so bad at doing war they managed to not defeat Serbia despite surrounding it on 2 sides, having Belgrade within artillery range from day 1 and killing something like 60% of Serbian men over the course of the war. Staying out of every major conflict since 1815 is still more valuable war experience than whatever the Austrians had.
I just want to make Mimi feel special for a change.
>killing something like 60% of Serbian men
that's the important part :^)
At the risk of inviting boatsluts into the thread, I do enjoy it more seeing girls/guns/lesbiguns than an operator operating operationally with one.
>Staying out of every major conflict since 1815 is still more valuable war experience than whatever the Austrians had.
Well, that and the combination of high-quality equipment and training with the terrain makes Switzerland a nightmare to invade.
I'm not going to watch and find out, it looks pretty dumb desu. I've liked a few animes over the years, but this one doesn't look like anything I'd care to watch.
And if I want to view anime girls sexually, I'll just load up some artificial academy 2 and have my way with them.
Since there have been numerous guys here who have used a bolt to stimulate their prostates, and one dude who got a case of SKS dick, have you ever gotten off with one of your firearms?
Thought about it many a times. I'm a germaphobe when it comes to sex and stuff so I've never actually tried it. Maybe someday I'll try it with a partner. I was hoping to open a store that sold only gundildos though for just the occasion.
These are the type of threads that make me really hate /k/.
Instead of talking about shooting or weapons in general, there always has to be the involvement of weird shit like 'would you fuck your gun'. Who really has such an extreme case of autism to shitpost this stuff?
This is why nobody respects or acknowledges this place.
Can't afford her
Good enough substitute
He got offered the opportunity to fly to some random ass place to inspect the only existant pankor jackhammer, couldn't get they money, crowdfunded, and got 4x the money he needed
>I tried having fun once, and it was horrible.
Leave me alone, dad! Go back to your M*A*S*H program.
Anyone got a love for 12 gauge?
>Wahh, no one hates what I hate!
This is how you sound. Why not just hide the thread and enjoy your own life?
If the bayonet makes SKS a futa, then all the rifles would have freely attachable penises, right?
I think I need a moment to myself.
I really love the internet sometimes.
Yeah, I figured when I'd gone through it. Thanks anyway, there's some other good stuff in it.
It's suprising how little futa stuff there is of upotte, considering how much there is in general.
>tfw too poorfag to add commissioning art to my list of hobbies
>tfw too busy to add actually making art to my list of hobbies
Am I the only one who loves G3s lewd face?
>mfw artists make a girls boobs bigger than her source material
Chest tumors aren't cute.
The RPK futa pics are still there.
God damnit, you posted it. I wanted to post that picture.
Also, It's normal to be attracted to guns, right?
>G3 is also acceptable.
I fuckin hope so. This ass alone made me want to get a PTR91
Making sweet love to my raifu, what do you think?
Weapon fetish in general. I have three guns, a couple knives, a tomahawk, and a sword, and I'll never use any of it except for the rifle occasionally, but I just like having them for some reason.
>i thought it was a finger
i was wrong
so very wrong
>implying I have futashit on my computer
I didn't mean you, my friend
I just like seeing you watch upotte futa porn which includes Galil in some way
Just post a picture of Sako putting her finnish bayonet deep inside Galils ejection port for fucks sake!
I have one Galil as futa
You want to see her with a penis as well?
The tar soda
You could always ask her to send a bottle of tar ice cream topping if the cravings for that sweet sweet tar gets too intense.
That's not fair. M*A*S*H is hilarious and the exact thing that anon would probably get mad about.
We always knew that he was on the edge of whoring out his characters. Still, no matter who wins in the official manga it's hard to ignore that FNC gangbang, even if he says it's non-canon.
The only question is the outfit. I'm not too big on the school girl look. Might just have the soviet uniform. Kinda want her to hold the sks also. I don't know though, it'll happen sometime. Costs about 65ish to get both sides.
Ready 4 some greens boys ?
>You were going on a walk in the woods when you saw a blonde girl looking at you.
>she has an almost confused and apprehensive look on her face
>you almost run away as she walks towards you.
>you walk through these woods every day and not seen anybody else
>"Are you okay sir? You seem a bit out of it ..."
"I-I'm fine , sorry . I'm just not used to seeing anybody here normally . Do you live nearby"?
>"umm actually , I just moved here from Finland and I really missed the cold winters"
"Oh , well it's nice to run into somebody so friendly out here. I'm anon , what's your na..."
>where did she go ?
>she couldn't have just disappeared
>you walk around and try to find some trace of her
>you feel a tapping on your shoulder and quickly spin around
> she's like 1 foot away from you. You jump like a lil bitch.
"Holy fuck don't do tha-"
>"oh no I'm so sor-"
>you both stop for a moment
>damn she's cute
>"so I guess I should introduce myself then , my names sako"
>she said extending a rather pale white hand.
"Again , I'm anonymous ... But you can call me anon. "
>"that's a curious name , but so is mine I suppose."
>"and by the way ... Do you know how to get out of these woods ? I'm kind of lost..."
"That I do , I'll help you get back to my truck and I'll get you home"
>"thank you but umm ... Could we please hurry ? It's going to be dark soon"
"What's wrong ? Afraid of the dark ?"
>"n-not if it's a problem ..."
"Alrighty then , let's get a move on."
>After about an hour or so of walking you reach your truck and open her door first.
> she gets in and makes herself cozy amongst her jackets and your passenger seat.
>you get into the truck and start it up and bandit radio starts playing
>you notice her shift uncomfortably in her seat when she speaks up
>"uhh would you mind changing the station please ? I don't really like this song"
>you sigh and change the station to classical
>"yes , thanks"
>the music still plays as you pull up In front of your house.
"Hey , what's your address so I can get you home ?"
>"I uh , I would really prefer not to go home right now"
"Why ? Are you in trouble or something ?"
>"not really , it's just that my parents are fighting and I really don't want to deal with it right now"
"Fair enough , but where should I take you then ? You can't just be out and about in this weather."
>"w-well I was hoping I-I could spend the n-n-night at your house..."
>at this point you couldn't tell if she was stuttering from the cold or if she was about to cry.
The fuck is your problem man ? Atleast I'm not shitposting.
"O-okay then let's get you inside , follow me"
>you get out and she follows you closely towards the house
>once inside your greeted by the smell of spam and eggs
"Dad I'm home , I brought a friend over"
>"alright , do I know em or do I have to introduce myself?" You hear your dad yell from the kitchen.
"Just follow my lead and introduce yourself , then I'll get you some food alright ?"
>"okay , I can do that" sako says meekly
>this should go well
>you walk into the kitchen with her trailing behind you .
>your dad turns towards you and his jaw may as well have dropped
>"well damn anon why'd you go and kidnap someone?"
>sako lets out a nervous laugh
>"uh he didn't kidnap me mister ...?"
>"oh , well he didn't kidnap me , I asked for help . I got lost in the forest and since it's very late I was hoping I could spend the night at your house?"
>"sure" he replies flatly as he leaves
>"I'm gonna turn in early , but remember ; no babies" he said as he walked up the stairs.
>once he was gone you turned to sako
"That's just him joking arou-"
>she almost tackled you with a hug
"Woah , calm down okay ? Just go sit by the fireplace and I'll get us both some food okay ? "
>"alright , I'll be there then"
I'm genuinely confused as to why you are upset.
>with a goal in mind , you set about your task.
>you make some hot chocolate and some peanut butter sandwiches.
"Here's the food , I also made hot chocolate for both of us"
>when you enter the living room you notice several layers of tan and white clothing along with a pair of boots almost strewn about the floor.
>you look on to see her sitting all cozy like under a comforter that she somehow found.
>"hi , I kinda made myself at home if you don't mind..."
"Not a problem , here's the food and whatnot"
>you then promptly handed over the food while sitting down next to her
"So , mind if I ask you a question ?"
>"hm? Not at all , I guess I owe you some answers."
"Alright so... This is going to sound weird but that was a lot of clothing on the floor ...-"
>"a t-shirt and shorts you perv"
>she said this while tossing a mass of comforter over you.
Ohoho but the ride has just begun.
>making yourself comfortable , you look to sako
"So now that the obvious is out of the way , next question"
>"okay , shoot"
"What were you doing In the woods ?"
>"do you want the long reason or the short reason ?"
"We've got all night"
>" alright , so I had a really long day at school right ? And people just weren't laying off with the whole ""around Finns the ice is thin"" thing and I kinda sorta lost my cool"
>"so I punched a guy in the face and he went down making a lot of noise , security came over and asked what happened . I said he grabbed me and I punched him so I ended up in the office talking with the ... Uhh what's the word for the head teacher ?"
>right , english =\= her first language
>"yes ! I was in their office and long story short my parents picked me up from school and started yelling at me ... Then each other and I just left"
>her sentences are falling apart, her voice is cracking , you've watched enough lifetime to know what's happening.
>trying to be smooth you scoot next to her and hug her.
>she's bawling her eyes out , no longer speaking English.
>"Olen niin pahoillani ... Olen pahoillani"
That's exactly what you're doing. /k/ is not the place for these stupid things. If you want to rewrite upotte that's one thing. If you want to do stories like this only a fourteen year old would like. Wanting to fuck a gun is normal, writing dumb stories like this is retarded.
But it's a story about fucking a gun. Do me a favor and don't be a doctor , because you would have no patients.
>she eventually trails off , no longer crying , and looks up at you.
>she kisses your cheek and resumes hugging you , probably asleep. You decide to follow suit.
>you wake up to an absence of the girl next to you , and smell breakfast cooking
>checking your phone , you see it's 7:18 AM ...
"Ugh , why am I up this early on a Saturday ...?"
>you follow the smell into the kitchen to see the girl who was crying her eyes out last night ... Happily making breakfast
>" Good morning , I decided to make some breakfast if that's alright "
"Hey , if I don't have to make it I'm cool with it"
"So what exactly are you making ?"
>she looks at the array of foods infront of her as if checking a list
>" umm bacon , eggs , hash browns ... I know I'm forgetting som-"
>"oh yeah , toast"
"Woah , you really went all out , didn't you ?"
>"well you did help me get out of the woods , I kinda owed you ."
>a few minutes later , the food is done . Your dad is nowhere to be seen.
"Woah , these hash browns are amazing"
>"well that's because I'm the one that made them"
"okay , what did you do to them ?"
>you two continue to eat in silence , damn she's a good cook.
>you both finish and put your dishes in the sink.
>"so ... now what do you wanna do ...?"
"Want to go for a walk or something ?"
>"umm , how about or something ? It's Saturday ... Want to watch cartoons ?"
>she happily trots into your living room and sits in the same spot she was last night.
WHY FOR YOU HAVING SMEARED COSMOLINE ON UPOTTE NAME? KALASHNIKOV RIFLE FROM SNOW ELF RUSSIA IS NOT TOY FOR UNEDUCATED AMERICAN WHO WRITES LIKE A CHECHEN SHAKING FROM GAS ATTACK
Well I guess I wrote 743 more lines for nothing ... Fuck
RK95 (the funswitch version) would be impossible, but M92 (the civvie version) is plausible - you just need to find a finn willing to brutalise her and send her over in pieces. Unless you're inside the EU, in which case it's just an issue of getting a permit and finding a buyer.
Tell me more of this. Would it be wise to try and contact Beretta since they own Sako now and try and see if there is a way to acquire one? I'm willing to slap down 3k if I need to. Or I will dream the impossible and try and get a Vektor LM4
>I hope anon realizes that he's sticking his dick in crazy though.
I honestly wouldn't even care at this point. She can invade my privacy, tell me not to talk to other girls, whatever.
>you enter behind her and sit next to her
>"so , what do you want to watch ?"
"It's up to you honestly"
>"I've only been here for a few months ... I'm not exactly familiar with the tv shows anon ..."
"Tom and jerry it is"
>you put on the show and both sako and you lose interest fairly soon and begin talking again.
"So ... Want to go back to asking eachother questions?"
>"okay , me first... What made you approach me in the woods ?"
>oh , that's pretty fair
"Well you seemed pretty lost . My turn . What school do you go to ? "
>"well ... I used to go to valley canyon but after the fight I'm homeschooled"
"Huh , well atleast you don't have to deal with bullies and all that bullshit"
>"well there's still my sister valmet as a stand in but atleast she only visits a few days a year"
"Well hey , it's just a few days"
>"yeah ... Hey can you give me a back massage ? It's really sore ?"
>you do a double take
"Uhh sure , but why exactly?"
>" I already told you my backs sore , and I made you breakfast ... Please?"
>come on anon , Shia prepared you for this. just do it.
>when you turn back to face her her shirt is off ... Oh shit
>"calm down , it's a sports bra"
>you look down briefly to see a light gray and blue sports bra
"Alright th-then , any area you want me to focus on ?"
>"my lower back above my hips , and between my shoulders please."
"Alright ... I can do that , do you want me to use some lotion or something ?"
>"umm here , use this" she said as she produces a little white bottle and hands it to you
>you open it and pour some of the oil onto your hands and begin the massage
" I'm gonna start on your shoulders alright ? "
>"mmm ok , just don't be afraid to get a bit rough"
>is she ... ? Nah.
>you begin to work on her shoulder blades , working your way down.
>"mmph a little harder right there , I think you found a knot"
>you were apparently pretty good at giving massages. She almost started moaning in a totally non sexual way when you moved down between her hips , right above her tailbone
>you snap out of your trance when you hear a slight snore coming from the girl In your lap.
"Hey , wake up ... Pssst , WAKE UP"
>that definitely woke her up
>and knocked her onto the floor
>" hey , what's the big idea !?"
"You fell asleep on top of me with no shirt on sako , and I also need to use the bathroom"
>with that you get up and head to the bathroom
>be sako , kinda pissed
"What a dick, you don't just let someone fall asleep during a back rub let alone push them off the couch!"
>as you put your shirt back on , you ponder the practicality of spitting in his food next time
>with nothing else to do , you begin folding up your clothes
>"hey sako , do you know what time you have to be home ? It's almost ten AM ."
"Any time today really , my parents either think I'm responsible or lost their phones so..."
>this isn't kidnapping right ?
>can you kidnap the willing?
>"anon I'm going to the dentist , I'll be back in a few hours"
>you both turn to hear the front door slam
>"well then , what now?"
"That's a good question ..."
>more tv ?
>talk about the awkwardness that was that massage
"Want to go and get something to eat ?"
>"sure , where were you thinking ?"
"maybe that new Israeli restaurant that opened up , I've never had Israeli food"
>"neither have I , let's get some clothes on and go."
>you both get your respective clothes on and get out the door.
"Alright , watch yourself getting into the truck , the step is somewhat rickety"
>once you're both in the truck and on your way , sako begins to fiddle with the radio
>"no ... No ... No ... Ugh , forget this"
>she tosses her arms up in defeat and reaches into her pocket
>she pulls out her phone and an aux cord
>" do you mind ?"
>she starts playing moves like jagger
>there are worse choices but ... Why?
>after what feels like ages you finally find the Israeli restaurant
"Hey sako , we're here "
>"excellent , I hope this is some good stuff"
>you both get out and enter the restaurant.
>as you walk in , your hit by the smells like a brick wall
>as sako enters behind you she almost squeals with delight
>directly into your right ear
>hello tinnitus my old friend
>"ohmygod galil ! It's you !"
>"yeah! how have you been ? And ... Whose your friend...?"
>you really didn't like the way the Israeli girl was looking at you
"I'm anonymous , but you can call me anon. I'm guessing that your galil?"
>"yeah ... And I'm guessing your sako's new boyfriend ?"
>S: "Shush galil
"So I'm your boyfriend now?"
>you said this a bit less sarcastically than you expected.
>it is a girl you met in the woods your talking about after all
>S: "anyway ... Galil , I didn't know your parents had a restaurant "
>G:" well yeah , you never asked"
>that smooth little...
"So how about some food "
>they both look at you and shrug while simultaneously saying "sure"
>G"alright then , take your pick of seating. What would you like to eat?"
>"alright then , I'll be back"
>you and sako sit at a corner booth , now for some explanation for what the fuck just occurred
"So , two things"
>"Galil does that with everyone I introduce her to"
"Secondly , who was the girl who apparently thinks we're dating and why was she wearing fake wolf ears?"
>"well ... That was my friend galil. She's my friend from Israel. And they're not fake , she's also got a tail for the same reason my ears are pointed"
"Your ears are pointed ?"
>"moving on , other than finding people in the woods , what do you do for fun ?"
>g " here's your food , I'd stay to chat but I have other people to serve"
>the Israeli girl put the various plates on the table and began to walk away
>as she's walking away you notice the end of a tail peeking from under her skirt
>what the hell?