So /lgbt/, weirdest/most perverted thing you've caught your partner doing?
> Be me
> Coming home early from work because I had overtime to cut.
> Figure I'll surprise the bf and we'll have some fun. We've both been too busy lately and I wanna have sex.
> Come into our apartment.
> Don't see or hear him.
> Notice bathroom door is shut, light on.
> He's probably gonna take a shower.
> Get naked, plan on surprising him.
> Hear shower turn on.
> Wait a few seconds for him to get in.
> Open door silently.
> Sneak in. Pull back curtain.
> He's standing there fucking a cantaloupe.
> I literally have no response for this.
> Just stair awkwardly at eachother.
> he keeps fucking the melon.
> I just turn around and leave.
> We never talk about it.
> Fucked later.
> Still dating.
He actually gave it a couple thrusts before I went down on him later. Pretty much the best tasting oral I've had in ages. He offered to let me fuck one ( he bought several just in case he fucked it up once or twice. ) . I declined however. It apparently felt pretty good.
... Oh god, That's hilarious.
It makes sense about the taste I guess, It's realistically the reason they have so many flavored lubes out there. I'm not sure if its as risky for a guy to play with fruits like that as it is a girl. I know a girl risks an infection, can't help but wonder if it could cause a UTI.
Anyway helluva story. I don't think I've got anything that can match that
>There was a common futa manga about a girl plowing a cantaloupe, sounds like your bf is a /d/enizen whom got a little too curious
DUDE. I was JUST about to mention this. I was even thinking of finding a link to it so I could post it. I used to have that shit downloaded along with a ton of other iconic /h/ doujins(at least on /b/), but I deleted them all...
All things considered if you look at popular 'fruit molestations' in media though, I think plowing a Cantaloupe is better then a 'hot apple pie' ala American Pie. That just sounds messy!
I hear fucking watermelons is pretty great too, just cut a hole for the dick and a little hole connected to the main hole (small enough to cover it with your finger). Then just thrust in, cover the other hole a bit with your finger and start pulling out. Apparently it creates suction and it's like the watermelon is sucking your dick, while being fresh and making for a kinky meal afterwards if you cum on it and feed it to an unsuspecting deer or something
wow op, that's fucking weird
any for me:
>have powerlifter bf
>massive and powerful, so stronk
>he's away for a couple of weeks
>leaves his laptop
>I take a few pictures of a new dress to show my mum
>they go to a random hidden folder that takes me ages to find
>about 300 different pics of my bf wearing womens clothing
>I deleted them all
Idk if i should talk to him about this or pretend i never saw it.,
Not much really. Im the nympho.
>told gf im trans
>she yelled at me a lot
>later found her with a dildo sticking out of her zipper
>quietly closed door and exited room
>she drinks 12 shots and is super drunk
>kept telling her not to drink so damn much
>she is incredibly horny
>grab a bunch of stuff and come back
>lube her up and put dragon dildo in her butt
>I take a few swigs from the bottle cause this is so weird
>put another dragon dildo in her pussy
>working dildos with my hand
>she is suckling on my finger of my other hand
>move and put my dick in her mouth
>grab last dragon dildo
>no remaining holes
>get brilliant idea
>start beating her in the face with it softly
>no longer sexy
>fighting back hysterical laughter
>panic and start fake moaning loudly since im about to light yagami psycho laugh if I dont release the pressure
>she moans back WHAT HAVE I DONE even funnier
>see us in floor mirror
>II like some tentacle one man band
>gfs 1 year old daughter from some other guy in the background crawling around in circles baby giggling
>that feeling when you exist outside your body snd watching a movie of yourself
>this goes on what feels like forever
>gf throws up for like an hour from the liqour
This was me at the time
>screw you, it weirded me out
Are you kidding me???
>I've arbitrarily decided that YOUR pictures on YOUR computer which ARE TOTALLY LEGAL "weird me out," so I'm deleting them.
Do you not see the sheer and utter selfishness and total disregard for personal belongings here? How would you feel if someone deleted your vidya saves because vidya "weirds them out?" How would you feel if someone formatted your HDD because your content "weirds them out?" How would you feel if your clothing was trashed because it "weirds them out?"
>that feeling when you exist outside your body and watching a movie of yourself
That's a great feeling, the fact that the scene is so unique and peculiar you don't even accept your presence in it.
>oh save it for someone who cares.
"I don't have an argument to defend myself so I'm just going to ignore all dissenting arguments."
Alrighty then. Enjoy being a deluded, selfish cunt.
This is 2014, that's the equivalant of burning hundreds of physical pictures from a drawer. Just because you can delete them all with one click doesn't change the fact that you're destroying them.
>Wondering what's in bf's spare closet
>He never told me not to go in there
>Know it's kinda nosy but check anyway
>I should have known
>More dildos, butt plugs, an onahole, a cock ring ect.
>A crate full of flax seeds
>All of my whats
Help me. What does he need all those flax seeds for?
or it could just be some kind of paperweight because he, like many people the last few years, bought a bunch of flax seeds and realized he has no idea what the fuck to eat them with.
Better than what I found. Went into my bf's basement one time and found a labratory. I mean like full on chemistry lab shit. Now, he's a chemist, so yeah it makes sense kinda. But what is a chemist doing with a full lab at home? And his basement was decked out. He had ovens, a freezer and refrigerator filled with chemical bottles and tubes and shit, about 10 fishtanks, a few with carnivorous plants growing inside them. Tons of hardware like tools/hosing/ect, and two computers on top of what he has for his personal comp upstairs.
It was just really kind of weird. Feels like I'm dating a mad scientist.
Lots of people have labs at home it's really not a big deal. You can make explosives and fireworks and shit and it's all perfectly legal
Plus a lot of people like to just see what they can actually make at home, like they'll just rig stuff up and see what they can do, there's entire forums and websites dedicated to stuff like that.
>that feeling when you exist outside your body and watching a movie of yourself
Its like going outside of your house and every single dog in the city decided that today they were going to meet up on your front lawn to have a massive dog orgy. Then when you finish opening the door all the way, you see them all spread out on the lawn on and your car and in the street and the tree. They are just going full out beggin strips dogs gone wild on your front lawn and swollen purple dog dicks are everywhere and the lawn is covered in a thick mucus of slobber and this horrible cacophony of dogs is panting laboriously and theres meat packing noises, and it sounds like someone's desperately trying to spit wet toothpaste back into the tube but failing miserabley. Its just so incredibly fucked up that the scene is almost ethereal and supernatural like youre having a horrendous fucking nightmare.
Don't complain. She already admitted that she gives zero fucks about the fact that she couldn't possibly defend her selfishness in argument. The fact that she arbitrarily decided to do the right thing now is 100% damage control since she still thinks she's right, but if you bring attention to it she might passive aggressively lash out.
Also I'm pretty sure it's a she, as only someone with a vagina would do something like that.
>The fact that she arbitrarily decided to do the right thing now is 100% damage control
>indulging or encouraging your closet tranny body builder boyfriend
>"the right thing"
Do you seriously have a problem with leaving people shit the fuck alone? You have no right to walk into someone's place and trash anything you want. Digital photos may not have tangible worth, but they still take time and effort to make, especially a collection of three fucking hundred.
I'd just like to say that I'm mainly pissed at this since I've heard stories of people who've had their vidya saves deleted/ shit formatted because of intolerant family members, or something.
>Digital photos may not have tangible worth, but they still take time and effort to make, especially a collection of three fucking hundred.
lol, deleting them is a gift. He's too stupid to hide them properly and a real psycho would have posted them on the internet for everyone to see.
It's cute that you think implying I browse tumblr magically makes my argument invalid, but you are clearly not even attempting to argue as you're not explaining why my argument is false and yours is superior. You're essentially prodding me with a stick to elicit reaction, so I'm just going to go.
Weren't the pics hidden deep in some folder? Still I mean lol even if they were accessible from the desktop it's really juvenile to just delete them. That's exactly the same as digging through someone's photo albums and throwing away the ones you don't like. What kind of person does that? Very bizarre.
The only reasons one wouldn't want things to be seen is if they don't have enough faith in any onlookers that they would respect the existence of whatever it is they're seeing, or the person can't cope with the feels they get upon knowing that someone has seen that thing.
We are talking of a lover deleting their lover's stuff because they don't like it. This is just someone being a shitty lover.
>Weren't the pics hidden deep in some folder?
Founds means not hidden good enough. It's like someone debating the low risk of you getting struck by lightening AFTER you've been struck on the way to the hospital.
>That's exactly the same as digging through someone's photo albums and throwing away the ones you don't like.
yeah, EXACTLY like going through your family albums and finding all of the photos of your cross dressing uncle and your grandma fucking him in the ass with her big black dildo. "exactly".
lol who cares how well it was hidden? It's not yours so don't touch! How can you even argue with that concept? It's 1st grade stuff. You find something that doesn't belong to you and you leave it alone because it's not yours. It's practically the golden rule.
>The only relevant issue is one of morality.
You're being too simplistic here. There's a bigger issue here of privacy, from the one person not respecting their partner's privacy and the other person not putting in their own effort to keep things private. Also, there's the stupidity issue here. The boyfriend is obviously an idiot. Hide shit better.
>lol who cares how well it was hidden? It's not yours so don't touch!
If you leave things out in the open, be prepared to be confronted, judged and worse. If you want to avoid these things, make sure no one will ever know and keep things hidden.
When you give a laptop to a person, all notions of privacy go out the window.
This is not the same as not being okay with someone setting up cameras in every room in your house so that can monitor you all hours of the day without exception. Not wanting to grant someone that pleasure is not inherent evil, and I don't believe in the "if you want privacy it means you have something to hide" argument, as exposing yourself is not inherent good, and hiding something is not inherent bad. If someone gives me access to their PC though you best bet I'm going to search for porn and check their bookmarks/ browsing history. This is like checking the pockets of a jacket your father is lending you, or something.
I'd like to make clear that I am not on the side of the anon who deleted their bf's shit.
Way to blame the victim haha. Regardless, that still isn't the issue. It's so absurd to think you have the right to destroy someone else's things just because you think it's weird.
It's not yours, so don't touch. End of story.
>ITT: victim blaming and people justifying destroying someone else's property
You had no right to touch your bf's pictures let alone delete them, regardless of your 'feelings' towards them, they. Aren't. Yours.
What makes digital less important than physical? Were it film at least the guy would've had film negatives to reprint the pictures,
>You had no right to touch your bf's pictures
I disagree... I mean they are right there. It's not like he asked for them not to be touched, and it's not implied that it's off-limits at all, as it's not like opening the files to view them properly compromises their integrity. I agree otherwise, though.
I left you people with dog dicks and I come back to this faggotry.
I can only assume that you're the one that deleted your boyfriend's crossdressing photos. Here's a tip, don't delete things that aren't yours and talk to your boyfriend like an actual person would. Otherwise just break up now and save you both the hardship of dealing with your cuntery.
>get out of work early
>figured my gf would still be at work
>get home and walk in.
>hear "thud, thud, thud, thud, thud..." in the bedroom
>walk to the bedroom door and look in
>gf has suction cup dildo attached to side of bureau and she's fucking herself with it
>rocking back and forth, slamming it into her pussy
>she's moaning and crying (literally) while she's doing this
>looks up and sees me.
>"anonette, i miss having a cock inside me"
and that was the beginning of the end of our relationship
> Go to my gf's place.
> Go into her room to find her.
> She's masturbating to gay porn.
> She looks at me.
> Starts having mouth diarrhea.
> Literally just speaking jibberish, while making weird sounds between laughing and grunting, throwing her tongue around in weird ways.
> Sounds like she is trying so sound like someone typing randomly on their comp.
> Literally sounds like " rjiefbaejvbibnvagbibvdaj;kfvb;jkdvb;dv;vbna;bgerioghghltjknbliafvblrvbj ak;ergvabhgapihvb a;kjbvlehrvb "
> I don't know how to respond to this.
> I shut the door, and wait for her to tell me it is ok to come in.
> Apparently she's always had a thing for gay porn even though she's les.
To this day, I don't understand how girls masturbate to gay porn.
My theory for both women enjoying gays, and men enjoying lesbians, is that it's something to do with enjoying the voyeuristic side of watching a coupling that is 'exclusionary' to your own sex.
I thought until recently that it was to do with unconsciously projecting yourself in between the two, as if seeing them as 'making do' with another of their own sex for absence of one of your own sex. But the existence of lesbians who enjoy gay porn kind of blows that out of the water.
Don't be a scumbag stacy. maybe it was 'ok' to look at them. but surely not to destroy them, that's his private property. imagine you made 300 pictures of you , no matter what exact kind, and you like them and then comes your boyfriend and deletes them because he finds them weird or inappropriate or whatever. damn who are you, who is anyone, to decide what can be kept and what not? i mean, if it would have been child porn, that'd be sick. but he dressing up as a female? who the fuck cares. if he likes it. if you love him try to accept that. don't be cunt. just tolerate it.
I'd just like to say that we delete each others stuff all the time that may be weird if anyone else found it. I mean sure it shocked me, but I wasn't disgusted. I mean c'mon. i'm posting on /lgbt/. I dont give a shit.
Just if his mom or dad found them (cos I know they can be nosy fuckers) then it'd be bad. So I saved him the trouble. I talked to him about it already and he said it was to do with trolling /fit/ and he didn't care that I deleted them, even if he was i'd call him an idiot and remind him that his parents look through his pc whenever they can.
If he wanted to crossdress he could always ask me, and he knows that because we've messed around with shit like that before for giggles.
>I agree otherwise, though.
Learn to read?
You are a fucking dumbass and the damage control spewing from your ass is out of control. Are you really just going to pretend that your original argument was not just 100%, "I arbitrarily found my boyfriend's pictures on his own personal PC gross so I deleted them, and I don't give a single fuck about how moral doing that was or defending myself at all?"
what? why? I just said we do it to each other all the time Like, he deleted some nudes of me and other people that were on my pc from before we got together, we look out for each other. I mean i wouldn't have deleted them if I thought he might need them for something, or if they were still being used, like old half-coded programs and stuff he never finished etc.
I know, I read the replies cos I saw the thread keep coming up to the front page. I thought i should let people know it's most likely a couple of trolls getting everyone all riled up.
I'm trying to reach an acceptable level of gayness, your shenanigans took us away from our quotas.
Why doesn't nobody start helping their boyfriend/girlfriend finish the job?
Like fuck, I would gladly help them finish whatever fucked up thing it is they're doing.
You know, it is easy to say you wouldn't have a problem with your bf/partner fucking a melon. You can say you'd be cool, enthusiastic, giggle a little, and then help them finish it.
But until you see it yourself, until you are standing there, and you are staring down a man with his dick in a fruit, you cannot really understand the atmosphere and complete surreality of it.
In the end, I'm still glad you exist.
Even with all the bad things about being gay, not having to deal with worthless bitches like you is, clearly, the biggest blessing.
Straight men are truly a sad bunch, having to be with people like you.
I'm sorry but I had a good laugh.
I'm not sure if I could either but I bet melondick tastes nice.
I might be shocked first and then go for it?
Fuck if I know.
It may not have been selfishness but rather some kind of impulse - "OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS, OH GOD, I HAVE TO DESTROY THIS" or something. You don't really think get into philosophical discussions with yourself when you're in a situation like this.
>It may not have been selfishness but rather...
You cannot honestly be trying to defend that woman. Did you not read the following and last three posts of that conversation? Not to mention that actively deleting content takes far more effort than simply hitting alt + f4 and closing a laptop.
You don't actually need to search around in the computer. If there are things there, they mean nothing to you. They will not change how you're going to use it for a while.
That is, unless you're using "give" as in "it's yours now". Yeah, by that point it's perfectly fine. But in this context, we're talking about, at most, lent computers.
If someone allows you to use their bathroom, you should not go through every drawer looking for things. And if you happen upon something like, say, a huge black dildo, you don't fucking thrash it.
First of all, I am not on the side of the chick to trashed her bf's pictures just because she decided they were "gross." Secondly, by "give" I was referring only to access to the PC, and temporarily so.
>You don't actually need to search around in the computer. If there are things there, they mean nothing to you. They will not change how you're going to use it for a while.
>If someone allows you to use their bathroom, you should not go through every drawer looking for things.
I don't need to search for things in a room I'm given access to, but I do not see why I shouldn't search for things. I was never asked not to search for things. I do not appear to be doing any inherent wrong by searching for things. So what is the problem?
Also... you don't appear to have addressed the real thing I was asking for you to elaborate on, which was my asking why my analogy is not the same as the scenario we are discussing.
>a lack of social or emotional reciprocity (social "games" give-and-take mechanic)
>For example, a person with AS may engage in a one-sided, long-winded speech about a favorite topic, while misunderstanding or not recognizing the listener's feelings or reactions, such as a wish to change the topic of talk or end the interaction
>People with AS may analyze and distill their observations of social interaction into rigid behavioral guidelines, and apply these rules in awkward ways, such as forced eye contact, resulting in a demeanor that appears rigid or socially naive.
i hope you have an family sized jar
i have big nipples
>such as forced eye contact, resulting in a demeanor that appears rigid or socially naive
god damn it!
How are you supposed to do it then? I always thought it was ill mannered NOT to maintain eye contact.
I mean, it's terrible for me! If it's unnecessary I don't want to do that anymore.
Although people seem to like it..... They always go on and on and on and never stop talking, but since I am so focused on maintaining eye contact I sometimes stop listening while I coordinate my every move.
Are you joking? You utterly failed to explain what exactly is rude, annoying, or "seriously, kind of morally wrong" about searching through something you were given access to. You just claimed that searching something you've been given access to is such. Please try again.
>You're invading someone's privacy without any reason.
Except not, because I was GIVEN access to the thing I am searching??? If someone gives me a fucking box with stuff in it to use temporarily, why should I make an effort to arbitrarily not interact with the stuff? Nobody is giving me an argument, and the whole "if you don't already agree with me you're a sperglord" argument is bullshit, since objectively you're not defending yourself in argument by playing that card.
>implying that society arbitrarily deciding that doing something is illegal makes that decision right
>implying taking a shit in front of a human is inherent evil
>implying the entire argument against taking a shit in front of a human will ever be something but "muh emotionality," which is in itself an appeal to emotion fallacy, which renders the argument fundamentally void if that is the crux of it, which it always is
>implying this argument is not an appeal to emotion fallacy and therefore fundamentally wrong
If your next reply is as worthless as this one I'm just closing this tab and not opening this thread anymore. For that matter if you take longer than 20 minutes to reply to me this time I'm just as gone.
>being this autistic
Look anon, if someone lets you into your house, do you assune you have carte blanche to open all their cabinets and look through their things? Because the only way you would think this would be if you had zero friends and have never left your basement.
Expectation of privacy is a thing. No one should have to explicitly say please don't go through my sock drawer, it's assumed that adults realize you don't dig through other people's things without permission.
>Except not, because I was GIVEN access to the thing I am searching???
No. You were not given access to every little piece of it.
You were lent a computer to do a task. You are to do that task and nothing else.
If someone opens the door and allows you to come into their house, you are not allowed to go through every drawer in the living room.
If, say, you needed to open the browser and upon doing so a thousand dicks came flying out of it... Well, fine, that happened. And that's okay.
However, if you intentionally go through folders searching for things... Well, you're an ass. And then to decide to delete them? Giant asshole.
Seriously, this is not rocket science. It's like social interaction 101. If you fail these, there's no way you aren't dealing with some other issues.
>caught my boyfriend of 4 years cheating on me
>with his older brother
>apparently this had been going on since they were kids
>was pissed at first, but eventually managed to forgive/accept it
>eventually ended up scoring a threesome out of it
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUH FETISH, how can you be so cruel to him?
Thanks God I don't heave to deal with women or you in particular
>same thing as a mtf
No it's not, fuck you, I hope you get cancer, aids, herpes and die on a dumpster.
Damn dude, you lucked out. So are you cool with your boyfriend fooling around with his brother now? Or just when you're involved too? What is his relationship with his brother like, exactly?
We've come to this sorta arrangement where he's allowed to mess around with his brother whenever, as long as he keeps me in the loop about it at tells me afterwards.
Their relationship is... weird, but also kind of adorable. They always did seem a lot closer than most brothers and overplay the whole big bro/little bro dynamic a lot. But his brother also seemed like a stereotypical straight jock ever, so it really took me by surprise to find out he was closet bi. They have a very one-way sexual relationship, which I think explains why my boyfriend has always been so submissive.
During the few threesomes we've had, me and his brother basically just topped the hell out of my boyfriend, and he acted really competitive like he was trying to out-macho me at the task of gay sex, kinda funny.
>not adding your own kinks and making the situation even more fucked up
You should have done this on the first time you dumb fuck.
>Boyfriend is out at the mall and I just got home from work.
>Horny as fuck.
>Decide I am gonna break in my new toy.
>Get my dildo and start using it.
>Realize Im hungry.
>Go and get watermelon.
>Sweet gods of juicy fruit.
>Begin to eat a few slices of watermelon and toy with myself.
>In my watermelon/sexual haze, my boyfriend comes in.
>Sees his twink boyfriend fucking himself with his dildo and eating watermelon.
>I stare at him as I continue munching out.
"Yes Anon's boyfriend. This is what this looks like."
"Anon... Im going to McDonalds. Ill be back in 10 minutes."
>Leaves me with a dildo in my ass, clearly horny as hell for McDonalds.