/lgbt/ I've found that I push my personal problems onto the transgender community as a whole, and use them as a scapegoat for my negative feelings. I have been filled with nothing but bitterness and hatefulness for almost half a year now. It's hurting me and does NOBODY any good at all.
Do you think a lot of people who are against the trans community are this way? Have they been hurt emotionally and then lash out at the group as a whole?
I don't know how to "just be tolerant" but I am willing to try.
Step #1 is stop being a dick to trans people
What is step #2?
Thank you. Also OC.
Step 2 is impossible - That is why I am bitter, anon: I have no friends now.
That is why I am so hateful. I have to stop scapegoating my eternal alone time onto the TG community, though.
Meh. Anyhow, thanks for the reply anon.
I will be your friend Op. I was in the sort of reverse situation you are in at one point in my life. I was the trans part of the friendship, and my friend disowned me. That was some time ago and it still bugs me, because I would have liked to have his friendship for the rest of my life. Also, I felt if he could have accepted it, I could have been a very good mate for him.
Heh ok thanks. I honestly was reading it and like "What the fuck is going on"
I am in the "Bible belt" area of the USA and I was pretty sheltered, so I have very minimal experience talking to gay people IRL and NO experience with trans people IRL (except for the OP webm) so that post BLEW MY MIND
I did google Cluster B and it seems it is from DSM-V which I am somewhat familiar with... I looked at it some more am TOTALLY Cluster-C though. I am dependent and avoidant. Maybe that explains why I always feel like the victim in every bad situation.
Introspection ITT coming from troll posts.... neat.
The real problem is trans will never be fully categorized as anything that makes them a "protected" class that people like.
If being transgender is something you are born with, it is seen as something that is against normality and those who have it suffer from a condition (or, well, a "mental illness"). People want to be around people that are like them, and the more "normal" someone is the less likely they are to have friends on the weird side.
If gender truly is a social construct, and "gender" doesn't exist (see tumblr, preferred pronouns, genderfluity, nonbinary, etc) ... Then being trans is a "choice", one that people don't understand, and majority of people would rather hang out with those they understand (read: who are like them, since people best understand what they already know) than try to understand what motivates a person to surgically remove their breasts and then take hormone medication so he can now grow a beard
Society will never fully be tolerant of trans. I hate to say it, but it's true. The current cultural climate is moving towards gender being a choice and malleable to a person, which means being trans will be seen more as a form of optional body modification or perverted lifestyle than it will be a legitimate condition.
Think back to when "trannys" and cross dressers first made their "debut" in normal culture. They were viewed as sexual deviants - more tied to their sexual preferences and identity. Being trans from the view of culture was identical to being into BDSM. Just weird ass sexual preference.
All the ground that trans people made in society? It came from when trans was told it was a condition. Someone is BORN trans. They can't HELP it. They DON'T LIKE IT. They DON'T WANT TO BE THAT WAY. People had sympathy.
What do you think is going to happen when you have middle class white girls saying "I'm neither gender" or "I'm both genders"?
All the progress? Gone.
why do you want "tolerance"?
we have "tolerance" for the jews now,
we have "tolerance" for the blacks now,
everyone still hates them. maybe more than ever.
trans people of all people should be sensitive to the realities of being hated even when it isn't to your face. it's a waste of time.
Op wants to be more tolerant himself, because he blames transness for breaking up a long term friendship he had. He is struggling to find a way out of his misery. He's not one of those people trying to externally force tolerance on others. He basically wants to be able to forgive his friend for being trans.
I'm not saying I am CONDONING everything transgender related. Just like I don't CONDONE the rioting in Baltimore. However, just like I feel it's wrong for me to automatically classify all black people as reverse-racist looting assholes like the rioters in Baltimore, I feel it's wrong for me to over-generalize with transgender people. Look, don't get me wrong, I still hate the 'forced tolerance' freedom-of-speech-killing SJW-hugbox TG people on tumblr, but I am beginning to suspect that NOT ALL of them are like that.
That is my definition of personal tolerance, at least. I'm not sure if that helps.
I am getting to this point strictly for selfish reasons any ways; how sad is one's life if I live only for hating transgenders? That is more or less what my life has become in the past half-year. The person referred to in the OP OC was an ass and withheld closure (they were extremely self-infatuated) so I'm trying to create my own closure, albeit with limited success so far.
Any how, I honestly don't think there's a clearly defined "Step 2" that 4chan can answer for me. Although I do appreciate those who tried, such as
but definitely not
Have you considered that the bitterness is so intense because you yourself harbor gender issues? Not everyone who dislikes or mistrusts trans people have gender issues, but if your hatred is so intense that even you have to stop and say "woah" then maybe you should mention it to a therapist.
The first step is learning that it's not something that bears forgiveness, in the same way he feels he shouldn't apologize to SJWs for being white.
He's a hypocrite and grows more bitter due to the pain of cognitive dissonance he refuses to address. His views are based around making him feel superior to others merely for being born a certain way. When he admits his friend has done nothing worth apologizing for, his worldview will shatter. Admitting he knows nothing scares him to the bone. His percieved well of "objective" knowledge about the world (his personal opinions based on other personal opinions) is all he has left to give himself worth.
That's pretty deep, and probably more accurate than I would wish to think. I have my own reservations that 100% of transgender people are born that way, but again, these are subjective personal opinions. I do now suspect that many of them *are*, although I suspect *some* exist from varying underlying causes. Again - I know - it's a totally a personal opinion. Hopefully a not too bigoted one. What do you all think of what I wrote?
I certainly hope not, but I do know I am mentally fucked at this point (hence, why I am seeking consolation from FUCKING 4CHAN of all places; that doesn't seem to work out too well for people, if you've been keeping up with the news). I have been told by two medical doctors and numerous (five+) other non-medical people to seek out therapy.
I'm just a stubborn ass. However, I am so worn down at this point, I feel like it's probably my best hope for some sort of resolution.
You're right, not all of us are SJW tumblrite shits. I actually hate that, and I have to face that most other trans I know are like that, and that if I voiced my different opinion they'd shut me out.
>Do you think a lot of people who are against the trans community are this way? Have they been hurt emotionally and then lash out at the group as a whole?
I think some of them are, but I think more of them are just virulently opposed to what they view as unacceptable "different".
if you aren't willing to try to just talk to some trans people online and unable to meet them in person as you've said, I think your best bet is reading about some of us who made it in life or watching some videos
lynn conway for example is one of the most significant women in technology, her work foundational to microprocessing
and here is some stuff on transgender people in the islam world, which might help. they're living their lives as trans people despite the fact that they are treated horribly on a daily basis
>It's hurting me and does NOBODY any good at all.
I SEE THROUGH YOUR FOUL MAGIC, DEMON. BEGONE I SAY, BEGONE.
That first step is the most important, man.
Just do that, and you'll be cool by pretty much anyone.